- Verence and Magrat order a book on sex from Ankh-Morpork. When Shawn Ogg unwraps it, he and the wizards look over it in awe... and it turns out that Verence had ordered a book on Martial, not Marital, Arts by mistake.Shawn: He's doing it with his feet! I didn't know you could do it with your feet!And, look, here's one where both chaps are doing it with sticks...
- Hodgesaargh the royal falconer. He's named like that because a man's name is what he says when he introduces himself, and how he introduces himself is "Hello, my name is HodgesAARGH *attacked by falcon on his wrist*."
- Casanunda and Nanny's dinner... or any other activity they engage in (which is never the obvious one).
- The lead-up to Nanny Ogg's bath, which causes the locals to barricade themselves in their homes.
- The elf giving Lady Jane the falcon one order: "Kill". Which she carries out with gusto... on the elf. Hodgesaargh casually notes that yeah, that's what happens when he tries it too.
- The moment where Granny Weatherwax and Mustrum Ridcully meet again. There should have been violins and a romantic atmosphere; not the Librarian (multiple times), Nanny Ogg (shoved aside with an elbow without even looking), or the poor Bursar ("DROP DEAD. Mister Stibbons, take the frog pills and keep him away from the cutlery, please.")
- Similar to how Nanny Ogg doesn't know how to stop spelling banana, Ridcully keeps saying continuum as continuinuinuum - most likely to annoy Ponder Stibbons.
- The Bursar, overdosed on dried frog pills, enters a plank-like state. Magrat worries.Magrat: Er, shouldn't you do something about him?Ponder: What, and have nothing to cross streams with?
- There are a few sequences in which Ponder has a conversation involving only him, the Librarian ("Ook.") and the Bursar ("Two lumps, Cherie, hold the coffee!"). His responses indicate that the Librarian is the more intelligible of the two.
- Jason Ogg hitting four elves with the first thing he could find: another elf.
- Magrat learning about bees from Mr Brooks. Nature is never really as cuddly as she wants it to be. Mr Brooks, on the other hand, has admirable bloodlust. "Slash! Stab! Hehheh!"
- At one point, Granny Weatherwax calls Verence "you stupid man!" He gently reminds her that he happens to be king, upon which she corrects herself to "you stupid king, Your Majesty". Which he accepts.
- Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg crash Diamanda's coven gathering while she is in the middle of explaining tarot cards. Granny is all dramatic, while Nanny is her usual amiable self, which is a very effective Mood Killer."'Ere, you're doing that wrong. You don't want to muck about with a hand like that. You've got a Double Onion there."
- Casanunda arranges for a Romantic Candlelit Dinner with Nanny Ogg. This being Nanny Ogg, she merrily (and messily) chows down on everything offered and kicks out the serenading violinist so she can belt out ribald drinking songs herself. Casanunda knows this isn't how these dinners are supposed to go, but at the same time he is absolutely enthralled watching Nanny Ogg do all this.
Funny / Lords and Ladies