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Funny / Licence to Kill

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  • Bond introducing Pam to Q.
    Bond: Pam, this is Q, my uncle. Uncle, this is Miss Kennedy, my cousin.
    Q: Ah, we must be related! (gives Pam a quick peck on the cheek.)
  • Bond to Pam: "SWITCH THE BLOODY MACHINE OFF!"note 
  • Sanchez and his silly pet iguana.
  • After popping Milton Krest's head, Sanchez's response to Perez asking what they should do with some money that got blood-stained.
    Sanchez: Launder it.
    • Poor, mortified Perez has to be the one to clean up the mess.
  • The one-liner from Sharkey after Killifer is fed to the shark: "God...What a terrible waste. [Bond side-eyes him] Of money."
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  • Just the look on Q's face when Lupe reveals that Bond's been with her.
  • Q carelessly tosses aside one of his own gadgets, considering all the times he berated Bond for damaging or not returning said gadgets. Making it doubly hilarious is that it was completely unscripted, with Desmond Llewelyn simply discarding it before going on to the next scene.
  • Professor Joe. "Bless your heart!"
  • Bond sends Pam off to get herself a haircut and some fresh clothes to look the part of his "executive secretary". It's even better since her last name is Bouvier, the single name of Jackie Kennedy. One imagines Bond knew exactly what he was doing when he picked that alias name.
  • During the Bimini bar meeting, Dario retorts to Bond (who's sticking up for Pam when Dario leers at her like a perv), "No one's asking you, Gringo!". Immediately after; Pam shoves her shotgun against Dario's rather excited crotch and tells the creepy boy to back off.
    • During the brawl that ensues, a random guy decides to grab a stuffed marlin hanging on the wall and charge at Bond with it.
    • What really sells it is Bond's face when it narrowly misses him.
    • Also, the fact that the entire bar of completely different unconnected people who have zilch to do with the heroes and villains join in the fray.
    • The stripper/Z-grade go-go dancer doesn't break character and keeps it going, only ending when one of them has a large blade swung at her.
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  • After sleeping with Bond, Lupe stops by the hotel room that Q and Pam are staying at to inform them that Bond is in danger and being taken to Sanchez's distribution center. She says that she loves him and is worried about him, which makes Pam jealous. So as soon as Lupe leaves the room, Pam angrily does a mocking impression of Lupe's "I love James so much!" line that's just hilarious.
  • When dodging some gunfire in Krest's aquarium, Bond somehow manages to grab a lobster that spilled out from one of the tanks and puts it in a new one.
  • Bond taking out the frogman who just got done killing Sharkey. The man had just gotten done bragging of his kill when he comes face to face with Bond and a harpoon; his last Oh, Crap! reaction is what really sells it.
  • When Bond is introduced to his ridiculously lavish stateroom in Isthmus City, he chimes to the bellhop "It's adequate".
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  • When Lupe goes to smuggle Bond out of Sanchez's mansion, a random henchman unsuccessfully tries to stop her and starts freaking out.
  • Pam absentmindedly testing out Q's laser-camera. What takes the cake is the comical x-ray picture of Bond and Q.
    • Equally hilarious is when Pam notices the bizarre effect captured of the portrait she shotnote .
  • Pam taking charge of the master bedroom in Bond's suite, leaving him to room with Q in the guest room.
    Bond: I hope you don't snore, Q.
  • As Bond is rappelling down the side of the casino to plant his explosives on the windows of Sanchez's office, he stops before a carving of a mermaid. As he pushes off, where does he put his hand? On the mermaid's bare breast, naturally.
    • And right then, a car on the street below honks its horn.
  • Bond wakes up in bed at Sanchez's villa after the Villainous Rescue from the intrepid (but now dead) Hong Kong ninja-agents. The first thing he sees the the freaky man-faced fish statue just "staring" at him with a goofy expression...Not surprising for a man with a pet iguana.
  • Bond passively suggesting to Franz that nobody would be "stupid enough" to take him out on their own, and this is exactly what Bond has been trying to do in spite of Pam and Q's assistance.
    • Equally amusing is when Sanchez laughs it off.
  • For all of this film's pretensions of being "serious", "less campy", "more violent" and "more realistic", it's ninjas who thwart Bond's attempt to shoot Sanchez. Also, the above-mentioned "X-Ray" camera.
  • Pam posing as the harbor pilot, putting on a blatantly fake Latin American accent as she rams the Wavekrest into the dock, sending Sanchez's men ducking clear.
    • Bond and Pam unloading the money meant to frame Krest. Pam strips down to her one-piece swimsuit. Bond shoots her an amused grin upon seeing this.
  • Bond sends Pam off to get a drink so he can talk with Lupe. Glaring at Bond, Pam orders a vodka martini, "shaken, not stirred" as she makes the international 'jack-off' gesture.
    • Lupe takes Bond to see Sanchez just as Pam is about to bring him his martini. She decides to drink it herself...and makes a hilariously disgusted face.
  • The scene where Sanchez is interrogated before he's put in the truck to be transported is funnier when you know that Robert Davi, who plays Sanchez, and Grand L. Bush, who plays Hawkins, both are in the same room and they were respectively Special Agent Johnson and Agent Johnson (no relation) in Die Hard just a few months earlier.
  • During the final chase, bullets ricochet off a tanker to the tune of the Bond theme.
  • It's Nightmare Fuel, but the note Sanchez has left on a barely-alive Felix Leiter when Bond finds him and Della's corpse is worth mentioning: "He disagreed with something that ate him."
  • During the climax, Heller tries to remove the Stingers he was going to sell back to the CIA, gets caught, and is skewered on a forklift that rams his body through a wall near Bond and Pam. Bond's reaction? "Looks like he came to a dead end."
  • As two of Sanchez's henchmen are registering the Wavekrest, they didn't expect each other to be in the same hallway. They react in fear but then they recognize themselves and keep registering the ship.
  • When Bond arrives at the Bank of Isthmus:
    Bond: I'd like to make a small deposit.
    Banker: My people downstairs are capable of-
    (A worker brings in a large briefcase, which he sits on the ground with a loud thud)
    Banker: Please, sit down.


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