- "May His Merciful Shadow fall upon... me, preferably."
- Insane!Kai's Badass Boast from "Wake the Dead" is darkly hilarious once he gets to the end of it:Kai: (crazed) I've killed mothers with their babies. I've killed great philosophers, proud young warriors, and revolutionaries. I've killed the evil, the good, the intelligent, the weak, and the beautiful. I have done this in the service of His Divine Shadow and his predecessors, and apparently the fun never ends!
- Zev and 790's complete lack of sympathy with Stan's threat to kill himself in "Super Nova."Zev: Stan? What are you doing [on that ledge]?790: I believe he's attempting to put an end to his pathetic life. But he seems to be taking all day!Stan: Don't try and stop me, Zev.Zev: Oh, I wasn't planning to.Stan: I'm going to jump. And then you'll be alone. Drifting in a space craft you can't control through an empty universe. What do you think about that?790: I think you should get on with it!Zev: Makes sense to me. Realistically, Stan, there's just not much to like about you. You're old... unattractive...Stan: Define "unattractive!"790: Well! Where to begin?Stan: But if you'd just give me a chance, one little chance, maybe you'd learn to love me!Zev: Mmm... No.
- From "Terminal":Dr. Kazan: Your home will be the entire universe, aboard the Lexx, with me at your side! We'll be the crew, you and me! Be bold, Zev, don't compromise yourself with sentiment! Together we can own the universe! You know this is what you want! You are one of the chosen, we both are! Seize your fate!Zev: ...Can't we just have sex instead?
- Zev: What kind of robot are you?790: I am a robot that wants to live in your underpants.
- 790's verdict on Stan when performing a medical analysis of him: "There does not appear to be anything wrong with him, aside from being utterly repulsive in every way."
- Mantrid's gurning facial expressions when he's taunting Brizon in the episode of the same name have to be seen to be believed.
- The childish insult-fest between the two of them is also a ridiculously amusing moment in an otherwise dark episode.
- Kai being turned into a complete and utter Cloud Cuckoolander in "Twilight".
- "What does the word "cancel" mean, Stanley?"
- Stan: (regarding Kai) He was alive dead for two thousand years, but this time he was dead dead! Really!Bog: Two thousand? That's a lot of birthday p-p-parties.
- Stan getting the Lexx to call him by an assortment of ridiculous titles in "Giga Shadow".Stan: Lexx, when you eat, can you separate out the yummy stuff from the nasty indigestible bits?Lexx: Yes, Stanley the Perfect, the mighty and terrible champion of the oppressed.Stan: And - unjustly maligned majestical being!Lexx: And unjustly maligned majestical being.Stan: Cool...!
Lexx: As you command Stan, Stan, only Stan.
- Cranked up when Stan realizes the third-person aggrandizing is becoming more of a hassle than it's worth, and (accidentally) is now:
- 790 on distress signals: "They only lead to trouble, so I always ignore them."
- "SLUT GERMS! SLUT GERMS!"
- "Metalhead!" "Leatherass!"
- In Super Nova, a horribly injured Stan stumbles into one of the Brunnen-G's memory recorders, which causes him to relive the memory of the person who he was touching. The Time Prophet uses this opportunity to relay a message to him through a confused miner, who just wanted information on a business venture and is now being bombarded with urgent information for a guy who won't exist for several thousand years. What's hilarious is the fact that Stanley forgets a detail and walks back, and the Prophet foresaw his blunder and shouted the detail at him.
- Kai instructs the living on the nature of the dead.Kai: The dead do not feel stress.
The dead do not feel pain.
The dead do not feel disgust.
The dead do not get frustrated.
The dead do not get distracted.
The dead do not get high.
The dead do not sleep.
The dead do not contain protein.
The dead do not eat.
The dead do not have stomachs.
The dead do not poo.
The dead do not fear needles.
The dead do not care about acting.
The dead do not care about tasty things.
The dead do not normally suck blood.
The dead do not "squeeze and please."
The dead do not "shoo-bop-a-loo-la."
The dead do not think the way you think they think.
Kai: The dead are unpredictable.
- What do the dead do?
Stan: The dead are weird.
- In "Luvliner", the male prostitute Xev tries to hook up with falls in love with her, and decides that theirs will be an epic love, with lots of romance and courtship and taking it slow. Xev does not care about love and romance and just wants to have sex already. She ends up trying to wrestle him into doing the deed already.
Funny / Lexx