Funny / Les Visiteurs

Les Visiteurs

• Jacquouille is scared shitless by what he heard of the forest of Malcombe and the witch that lives there, but Godefroy decides to raid the witch's house anyway and bashes his squire on the head with his shield as he keeps complaining about this choice. As they are stealthily approaching the house, Jacquouille is jump scared by a horse skull that falls and hangs on a wire. At the first glance of what happens inside, he suggests to run away. Godefroy then forces him to shut up by hitting him on the head with his gauntlet.
• The potion the witch gives to an old woman turns her into her younger self. She's happy to have her "virgin's body" again. One other woman comments on how ugly she is, and another old woman who seemingly knew her back then says "She looked like this when she was young!".
• Once the witch is captured:
  Godefroy: One does not torture a woman on my lands. Burning her at the stake will be enough!
• Jacquouille turning into a pile of dung as he travels in time.
• Ginette sings dreadfully.
• Every single Fish out of Temporal Water moment our protagonists go through in 1992. And the tantrums and Comical Overreacting of both Jean-Pierre and Jacquart to their antics.
  • As they wake up in 1992, Godefroy and Jacquouille ask themselves where they are. Jacquouille bumps into a postman of Subsaharan African descent in his van and runs away, believing the guy to be a "Saracen" and believing the car to be "powered by the Devil". He seeks Godefroy, they come back at the postman, and Godefroy throws his mace at him, scaring him away. They then proceed to wreck the postal van with Godefroy's weapons and a large tree branch.
  • Jacquouille banging on the Goulards' home's door and using his blowing horn as if it was a castle in Middle Ages.
  • Jean-Pierre wants to examine Jacquouille's teeth, to which Jacquouille responds by biting his fingers and telling him he's not a mule.
  • Godefroy and Jacquouille using toilet water to wash their hands.
  • Jacquouille having fun with a telephone. He imitates animal noises while Jacquart is on the other hand and uses his blowing horn when poor Edgar Bernay takes the phone, blasting the man's inner ear.
  • The Bawdy Song about how our two medieval protagonists will brutally hang Jacquart with his guts if he refuses to sell the castle. One can only imagine the look on his face had he been there to hear it.
  • Godefroy is frustrated by the Goulards' dinner and throws an epic tirade about all the feasts he misses from his era.
  • Jacquouille throws a wet floorcloth at Jacquart, who's a Nervous Wreck and a Neat Freak. Jacquart's Comical Overreacting to his linen blazer being dirtied and wet is priceless.
  • Jacquouille throws water on a garden lamp, destroying it.
  • Godefroy picks on Jacquart, asking him why he changed his name from "Jacquouille" to "Jacquart", and Jacquart's reaction.
  • The bath scene. Jacquouille and Godefroy take their bath in what looks like medieval pajamas and empty all of the Goulards' products they can find in the bathtub, including a very pricey bottle of Chanel No. 5 perfume. Jacquouille doesn't know what a sponge is and uses it to wash Godefroy. Jean-Pierre is visibly and audibly exhausted with their shit and Béatrice asks him if he wants Dragonal sleeping pills.
  • Jacquouille hearing the word "OK" and making it his own Catchphrase ("OH-KAAAAAY!!!"), using it randomly without much clues of what it means.
  • Godefroy's reaction to a telephone with Jacquouille talking to him through it, shouting as if it was sorcery.
• When Godefroy and Jacquouille lie about the fireplace in Godefroy's room (which conceals a Secret Underground Passage), they pretend they were sweeping the chimney (which is reinforced by the fact that unlocking the secret door caused a massive fall of soot that dirtied the whole room). Jacquart doesn't believe it, goes under the chimney and pretends there's nothing... then another mass of soot falls on his face. The resulting Comical Overreacting is a hoot.
• Jean-Pierre's butt is bitten by Angry Guard Dogs. He ends up on a sofa with a woman jabbing syringes in his butt. With everyone gathering in the room at this very moment.
  Jean-Pierre: STOP LOOKING AT MY ASS!!!
  • Béatrice even dares to say that "Nobody is looking at you"... while everyone is looking at him.
• The Humiliation Conga involving Jacquart and the Bernay brothers. It starts with President Edgar Bernay suffering from cold water in the shower, and ends with the other brother, Edouard, having a soup tureen thrown on his face after Ginette gets Blown Across the Room by Godefroy.

Les Visiteurs II: The Corridors of Time

• Jacquart being lost in medieval Montmirail. He is chased by wolves and a bear, and bumps into villagers that look and smell like they were taken straight from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. And said people want to burn him at the stake once the Inquisitor steps in.
• The entire Disaster Dominoes sequence caused by Jacquouille at the Goulards' home. It includes a TV implosion, a house fire reinforced with vodka and a fire hose rampage. With Jean-Pierre, the woman whose teeth were treated by Jean-Pierre and the firefighters as victims.
• Jacquart's torture. He is forced to drink so much water that his belly, navel and even eyes inflate... and he doesn't stop pissing afterwards. Jacquouille and Godefroy also have fun pressing his belly to make him spew water.
• Jacquart turning into a small pile of dung as he travels in time. Compounded by the fact that Jacquouille is horrified by this, not knowing that himself turns into big piles of dung whenever he travels in time.
• Godefroy and Jacquouille steal a gendarmerie van but don't have a clue how to start the engine. They hurtle down a forest slope until they crash into... a postal van driven by the black postman they met in the first film. He ends ups running away, again.
  Postman: The psychos!
  Jacquouille: The saracen, my lord! The saracen!
  Postman: (running away) THE PSYCHOS ARE BACK! THE PSYCHOS ARE BACK! THE PSYCHOS ARE BACK!
• At one point, Godefroy and Jacquouille disguise themselves as gendarmes and walk into a town. A woman whose son keeps watching TV sees them pass by and asks them to scare him into doing his homeworks. They oblige, and it works. And said TV ends up in the neighbor house's pool courtesy of Jacquouille.
• Godefroy and Jacquouille meet Philippine's fiancé. Godefroy lifts him in pride and tells him (in pseudo-old French words) to be "vigorous", "have it off with his love" and employ himself to "make a beautiful male heir on the wedding night". Godefroy and Jacquouille then have a toast to the soon-to-be-married couple... by downing a bottle of wine each in one single sip.
• Jacquouille finds a plugged microphone at Philippine's wedding and discovers its effect on his voice and has fun with it. Cue the wedding guests' reaction. Then Godefroy takes it and starts singing a medieval ballad.

Les Visiteurs: Bastille Day

• Lorenzo is proud to tell Godefroy about his father-in-law who held a candle while King Louis XV took a dump after waking up, with all the court watching (attending the king's awakening was Serious Business back then). Godefroy and Jacquouille then nickname him "Ass-Wiper".
• Jacquouille shouts at Honorine (Adélaïde's servant). Those few seconds of exposure to the smell of Jacquouille's mouth are enough for her to be revulsed like she has never been before.
• Jacquouille uses horse dung to feed a fire with prissy nobles around. They react appropriately to the smell of it.
• Lorenzo's butt is grazed by Philibert's musket's shot and he jumps around, screaming in pain.
• Jacquouille's shoes are stinky enough to poison the air in a whole building.
• Jacquouille throws the pricey comb Maximilien Robespierre offered to his sister Charlotte in the latrines. Maximilien finds it and berates his sister.
• One gag that's not caused by either Godefroy or Jacquouille for once: The Dreaded and Incorruptible Maximilien Robespierre has a Potty Emergency after eating the boudin Philibert specially cooked for him.

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