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Funny / Labyrinth

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  • The worm's final line.
  • "Your mother is a fragging aardvark!"
  • Just as Hoggle is ready to rush to Sarah's rescue in the forest, Jareth (his employer) shows up. Hoggle's claim that he's just trying to lead the girl out of the Labyrinth — as he's supposed to — doesn't fool the suave villain at all. In fact, noticing that Hoggle's beloved pouch of gems is gone from his belt, he even rubs it in...
    Jareth (mock-sympathetically): Oh dear, poor Hoghead!
    Hoggle: Hoggle...
    Jareth: (almost whispering into his ear): I've just noticed that your lovely jewels are missing.
    • Even funnier, Hoggle looks down as if double-checking his balls are still there.
  • In beginning, when Sarah is playacting that she's about to ask the Goblin King to take away her baby-half-brother, the scene is interspersed with a shot of various goblins eagerly waiting for the magic words...and getting annoyed and disappointed whenever she goes into Purple Prose and doesn't specifically ask them to take Toby away. ("What was that rubbish?!")
    "I wish the goblins would come and take you away right now," that's not hard, is it?! Hmph!
    • Preceding that, you have this:
      Goblin: She's going to say the words!
      Big Goblin: (stupidly) Say what?
      (Cue other goblins telling him to shut the heck up.)
  • The tiny gremlin things screwing up the guide arrows Sarah tries to leave for herself. But not before bitching her out in gibberish.
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  • Sarah grabs Hoggle before he falls into the Bog of Eternal Stench, but instead of pulling him to safety, she struggles to come up with a suitable description:
    Sarah: Ugh, I've never smelled anything like it! It's like... like...
    Hoggle: [groans] It doesn't matter what "it's like"! It's the Bog of Eternal Stench! Help!
  • They fall off the ledge... only to have Ludo cushion their fall. Which gives you this gem:
    Sarah: (happily) Ludo!
    Sarah: Um, where's Hoggle?
    Hoggle makes muffled noises, having somehow wound up under Ludo. Sarah gets Ludo to stand up, freeing him.
    Sarah: Don't worry, Hoggle, this is Ludo! He's a friend too...
    Hoggle: What?!
    In seconds all three of them are doing it, as a tsunami of miasma hits them.
  • All the noises made by the Bog of Eternal Stench, especially when Ludo and Sir Didymus hop the stones to the other side.
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  • Sir Didymus adamantly insisting that nobody can cross the bridge without his permission. His reaction to being asked for his permission tells us that he never considered someone actually not trying to force their way past him.
    Sir Didymus: ... er... yes?
  • Hoggle and the false alarm statue:
    Statue: BEWARE!!! FOR—
    Hoggle: Just forget it!
    Statue: Oh please, I haven't said it in such a long time...
    Hoggle: Oh, all right. But don't expect a big reaction!
    Statue: No no no, of course not! (clears throat) FOR THE PATH YOU TAKE WILL LEAD TO CERTAIN DESTRUCTION!!! Thank you very much!
  • Sir Didymous' throwaway line at the end: "Does anyone want to play a game of Scrabble?"
  • "Ambrosius! If you don't turn around this instant I will never feed you again!" *SCREEEEEEEEEECH!*
  • Jennifer Connolley's delivery makes this really funny.
    Firey: Hey! Her head don't come off!
    Sarah: Of course it DOESN'T!
    • Similarly, her delivery of "WOOOAH, NELLY!" during the battle sequence. Any given moment of Sarah being a Large Ham will inevitably be funny to someone.
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  • The Goblins of Labyrinth tie-in has many. One of the best has to be the many and varied components of the "Edible Goblin", which is deadly poisonous unless marinated in a little turpentine...unfortunately, the turpentine is also poisonous. There's a code to determine which pieces of the brain are edible.
    Edible but not very nice.
    Inedible and not very nice.
    Deadly poisonous unless your name is Valerie.
    Edible, especially for those who like to see their dinner several times.
    Delicious! One of the finest tastes that will ever touch your palate. Unfortunately it will also be the last as it too is deadly poisonous.
  • David Bowie's pants will have you giggling like a twelve year old. It doesn't help that he keeps waving his other set of balls in front of Sarah.
  • The entire Golbin Town battle between goblins and... rocks. This includes an averted Screw This, I'm Outta Here! on a goblin retreating to his bed, a case of Bowled Over, and a machine gun being crushed flat.
    Golbin Machine-Gunner: (literally flattened by a boulder) Hey... No problem...
    • The Goblin cannon firing "live ammo" from the same scene:
    Goblin in spiked cannonball suit: ( embedded in wall) I hit something, yes?
  • The part where Jareth says... this.
    Jareth: Nothing? Nothing! Nothing, tra la la?


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