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"And I ride off into the sunset looking like a hero."
  • In general, any time one of the scammers decides to poke around at the fake "nudes" folder (which contains pictures of naked mole-rats).
    • Taken up to eleven when someone is caught using their remote access program to download them to their computer.
      Kit: You're gonna be disappointed, bud. Enjoy my "nudes".
      • This folder sometimes has a sub-folder named "Boobies." (Pictures of blue-footed boobies)
  • One of the booby trap programs is the "Cat-pacha", a User Account Control-like prompt that asks the user to click on all the images that are pictures of cats. One of them is sometimes a picture of John Cena, whom the characters insist is a blank space.
    • While the ICE scam (see Awesome/Kitboga) was otherwise a darker call than usual, it did have a moment when a version of the Cat-pacha came up on the fake L.R. Jenkins bank, and the scammer noticed when Vicki (Edna with a European accent) clicked on a picture of a horse.note  But then...
    Vicki: Again, that is kitty-cat...
    Scammer: ...that's not a cat, ma'am, that was an elephant.
    Kit: [visible Big "WHAT?!"]
  • The grant scam with Victor was two hours of increasingly ridiculous fun. Essentially, the government claims you're eligible for an $9,000 grant, but ultimately wants you to buy an activation card (read: gift cards).
  • Kit luring a scammer into the Flash-based Windows parody Windows RG (Really Good Edition)
    Jebadiah: The only problem is that I can't get on the internet very well, and my solitaire game only has, like, 4 different cards.
  • Putting two different scammers into a conference call on the same line leads to them fighting over who's really pretending to be Microsoft.
  • On one call, he (as Edna) asked the technician what floppy disks were after seeing the driver listed in System Information. However, his accent makes it sound more like he's saying "floppy dick" (which makes Kit visibly shocked and amused).
  • It wouldn't be a Twitch stream without an excuse to play "Brain Power" at some point.
  • One scammer got a bit agitated when Kit's character pointed out that the "x wants to connect to your computer" dialog said it was a "Microshoft" technician instead of Microsoft.
  • One Fortnite-related scammer asked Kit who Ninja was. The scammer said he was a famous streamer who died from ligma.
    Kitboga: So, it's pay-to-win then, is what you're saying?
  • CARLY STOP. STOP CARLY. CARLY CARLY CARLY.
  • The ultimate solution to preventing all the computer problems? throw it.
  • Kit booting up Grand Theft Auto V and piping the game's audio into the call to convince a refund scammer that Edna is driving to the store. Despite his best efforts to drive carefully, the caller is concerned when it sounds like Edna is driving like crazy.
  • Nevaeh calls an American Airlines representative (highlights), and discovers that the scammer has seemingly never stepped foot inside an airport in his life. Much of the call is spent trying to discover what ridiculous things they can pass off as happening at airports, cumulating in Nevaeh walking across a runway to buy a gift card.
    • Plus the Billy Mays wallpaper he has on the computer at the start.
    • Also in this call, Edna shows up as the voice on the airport's PA, and serves as a Funny Background Event throughout.
    Scammer: The reason we are not accepting [debit cards] is that it's not getting through. We have the server problem, that's why you need to quickly get the Google Play card.
    PA: Just as a general reminder: No airline accepts gift cards as payment.
    Neveah: I'm sorry, what were you saying?
    Scammer: Uhhhh...
  • Edna calls Tinder support apparently believing that she's using "Timber", the app for finding a freelance woodcutter. Not only is it an excuse to find as much innuendo as possible in the subject, but eventually the scammers decide to go along with it.
  • Phone scammers usually at least try to obscure the location of their base of operations. One scammer managed to slip up.
    Scammer: We can not sell you a ticket for, say, 2 Rupees or, um, 3 Dollars.
    Chad: What's a Rupee?
    Scammer: [After a lengthy pause] That's, uh, that's a tax.
    Chad: Uh, I've never heard of the Rupee tax. You talking about Legend of Zelda?
  • "Bank transfer is the simplest, easiest, bestest, prettyiest, most good looking, best in classest, securest and the fastest process to receive money"
  • In this call, the scammer did a good job of making himself seem convincing and professional, which only makes the ending that much funnier:
    Kitboga: Show me where I get the "Lifetime Webroot Plan", I'm curious.
    Scammer: If you are here...
    Kitboga: Just show me; maybe you're not a scammer-
    Scammer: [Suddenly Shouting] Just shut up your mouth and shut down your computer. Go to hell, motherfucker. [Hangs up]
    Kitboga: [After a moment of Stunned Silence] Woah there, Certified Microsoft Technician.
  • Edna gets asked to type her password. Kit literally types out asterisks, and claims Edna's grandson said typing your password always makes it show up in asterisks.
  • Whenever Edna and Kiki Chanel get together during Kit's NoPixel streams, Hilarity Ensues.
  • Kit accidentally blowing his cover by using the Dixie voice by accident during a call that didn't involve her. Unfortunately, the caller recognized it from YouTube, and apparently referred to him as "Kitbigo".
  • The Adam, Alex & friends saga:
    Edna: This will change your life, this is huge for you. This is a lawsuit waiting to happen. You think $3,500 is good? You're saying Microsoft held you against your will, overnight, because you made a mistake for your job? You could probably get millions! You were kidnapped; you realise the press... oh, you could settle for so much money Adam. You will never need to work a day in your life. That's how you can put Microsoft out of business, not the $3,500 I owe you! Call your lawyer, heck I'll be your lawyer, this'll be the easiest case ever. "Hello media? Microsoft held someone against their will. They kidnapped one of their employees and didn't even let him sleep because he made a mistake". CNN, Fox, Reddit, they would eat that stuff up okay?
    • Kitboga spouting Star Wars lines such as "The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant compared to the power of the Force" in Granny Edna's voice.
    • Kitboga gets MiltonTPike1 on the phone, ostensibly as a sale representative from HughesNet, for the purpose of changing her phone number so that other scammers won't keep calling her. Milton then gets her to agree to call forwarding from the previous number... which, of course, defeats the whole purpose. He also convinces her to sign up for a security plan for $60 a day. ($21,900 a year.)
  • This Scammer Thought He Was Stealing Bitcoins..., featuring one of the most oblivious scammers ever featured on the stream.
    Kit: Dude, I just said "Baby's First Scam, This Obviously Isn't Real", I just said that to you. Did you catch that? That is my pass-phrase. Did you get it or not?
    Scammer: "Baby's First Scam, Obvious", and after that you said "Not"?
    Kit: Yeah, "K-N-O-T". [Angrish ensues]
  • A collab stream with Jerma. What could possibly go wrong?
  • Episode #863 saw Kit deal with multiple scams involving online storefronts for fake puppy breeders, with plenty of comedy gold along the way.
    • One of the storefronts claimed that, according to health checks, some puppies are '100% healthy' while others are merely '99.9% healthy'. The absurdity of how exactly that would be measured became a Running Gag through the rest of the stream.
    • Kit's reaction to the description of a specific puppy claiming it's on backorder.
  • In Episode 2 of Baited - "The Professional," Kitboga has been messing around one of the scammers, saying that he'll send the money and that they should go to Best Buy and buy the gift cards. Finally, said scammer tells him that he can't do this because his office has biometrics and he has to fingerprint scan every time he so much as wants to take a break.
    Kitboga: Wow! I don't know how to beat that. That's a 4D chess. He could borrow someone else's finger, but that's a little gruesome.
  • The Steve saga:
    • While the denouement of the saga, after Steve began to cross the line with his rage and threats, was largely a serious affair, there was still one thing he said that was so brazen that even Kit was caught offguard.
      Kitboga: Why would you come to my house and threaten my family over $2,000 when you could just take $260,000 from me? I'm curious.
      Steve: I am a good person, that is the reason.
      Kitboga: You're a good person, Steve?
    • This exchange:
      Steve: Now I show you my power!
      Kitboga: Next time you put a-
      Steve: Now I show you my power!
      Kitboga: You haven't even...
      Steve: Now I show you my power.
    • "I will fuck your family! I will fuck your family! I WILL KILL YOUR FAMILY!"
    • Steve gets reduced to being a screaming wreck towards the end of the call, especially when he gets mad at Kitboga when he says that he was sending cash to him.
      Steve: Then where the fuck is cash? Where the fuck is cash, in your fucking p***?!? ... Where's the cash?! WHERE'S THE CASH?! WHERE'S THE FUCKING CASH?!
    • "Hey you bitch, hey you bitch! Do you listen? Do you listen me? DO NOT REDEEM! DO NOT REDEEM! 'DO NOT REDEEEEM!' DO NOT REDEEM THE CARD... DO NOT REDEEM THE CARD. DO NOT REDEEM THE CARD. DO NOT REDEEM THE CARD!"
      • "What? Yes, yes, I'm redeeming the card. I'm redeeming the cards!"
      • NOOOOOOOOO! NO!!! NO NO NO NO NO! NO!
    • The full call video reveals the full details of a scenario that was only briefly alluded to in the highlights posted to YouTube. At one point, Steve has Kit's character, Paula (Granny Edna), go to the bank and withdraw $10,000. Paula pretends that she has done this, but then took the money and buried it in a pit in the backyard, what she calls a "safety money pit." As she explains: "They say money doesn't grow on trees, but it might grow in the dirt." This was later made into a song by ceilingmouse, a YouTuber who sets clips of Kitboga and scammers to music.
  • In this video about Quickbook scams, Kit is impressed with how scarily good the scam is. He notes that the scammer is saying things that sound like they might be plausible to those who don't know any better, and not just the usual tech support scam rubbish of asking the user to open up the Event Viewer to show them a bunch of errors and warnings that supposedly are viruses or hackers on their computer. Almost immediately after he says this, said scammer's next move is to try to open up the Event Viewer.
  • In this video, the refund scammer adds $5,000 to an account listed as a "Bronze Credit Card." Kit is forced to explain to the scammer just how a credit card works, though with the added humor of claiming that everyone in the world is supposed to be assigned a credit card when they are 18 years old. He eventually is forced to give up, admitting he didn't really want to teach the scammer just how credit cards are supposed to work anyway.
    • In the same video, instead of pretending that there was excess money sent in error, the scammer instead explains upfront that, because they had a business bank account, they could only send money in $5000 chunks.
  • Kitboga calls scammers with a scam script.
    • The first scammer sees through what Kitboga is doing and ends up the call with a few curses.
    • The second scammer starts poking holes in the script, and while Kitboga tries to keep him on the hook, the scammer ends the call identifying himself as Jim Browning
    • The third scammer plays along at first, until he starts giving Kitboga advice on scamming. At the end of the call, the scammer claims to be Kitboga.
  • A Kitboga classic - after blowing nearly two hours of a scammer's time as Granny Edna with stories about garden gnomes, he decides to reveal using a magic 8-ball program he designed himself. The 8-ball's phrases include, among others, "Why bother" (in response to the question "Should I purchase network security?"), "When pigs fly," "Downvoted," "Honey, they're lying," "Your computer's fine," and "It's a trap!" The call ends with the scammer triggering the trap Kit made of a whole bunch of error messages popping on the screen, which then all change to read "Thanks for the two hours :)"
  • Edna claims to be worried about the robots listening in. The scammer has a smart comeback for this...
    "The robots can only listen to you on your landline, not on your cell phone."
  • In "When Scammers to Pretend to be Doctors," after having already spent four hours on the phone with Kitboga in a refund scam involving supposedly paying the excess refund amount back via gift cards, the scammer tells Kitboga that there will be legal steps taken involving money laundering if Kitboga doesn't give him back the money via gift cards. So Kitboga says he's just going to check to see if it's actually legal to pay via gift cards. Second result: "Asked to pay by gift card? Don't."
    Kitboga: I just wanted to double-check, triple check, if it's legal. Wait. "Asked to pay by gift card. Don't." (screen goes dark) Literally, the second result is "Asked to pay by gift card. Don't." So it's probably illegal. Now my screen is black. Oh, and how convenient is that?
  • Scammer pretending to be with Quickbooks can't even do basic math. She offers a three-year plan at $2,399, with a ten-year plan at $19,999, even though if a three-year plan is $2,399, then a ten-year plan should be approximately $8,000, and that's assuming no extra discount for it being a longer-term plan. When Kitboga points this out, she tries to do the math, but ends up calculating the ten-year plan at $23,999 because she tries simply multiplying the price for the 3-year plan times ten. Which also leads to the mind-blow of just where the $19,999 price came from (apparently out of thin air.) When he asks her what 3 times 10 is...
    Scammer: Okay, I'm not that good in math.
    • The scammer then allegedly consults with a supervisor and drops the price on the ten year plan to $9,499, which is still way more than it should be, given the three-year rate.
      Kitboga: Yeah. I would like three three-year plans and one one-year plan.
  • In "52 Hackers Were Found On My Network (By Scammers)," a scammer claims to have found 52 foreign hackers established on Granny Edna's IP. Granny Edna starts seeing the number 52 everywhere, such as having received 52 e-mails. Soon she's spinning it into a conspiracy theory worthy of QAnon.
    Edna: The water bill. $52.52. No, no, no! Let me see the next. This is for the Internet. They're upgrading my Internet plan to 52? 52 mbs? What is happening right now?! No! No, no, no... 52... Sir, I think I need to call the police. I've been on the phone with you for 52 minutes and 52 seconds.
  • So, so much in "Scam Call Turns NUCLEAR Over Expected $1M Fortune":
    • Throughout the entire call, Kitboga's voice keeps distorting in funny ways because supposedly his character, Granny Edna (Mrs. Williams), keeps going into the kitchen, where her husband has chained together a whole bunch of microwaves as an experiment to create a black hole.
      Kitboga: I think he's trying to create the world's first macrowave.
    • In addition to the voice glitching, Kitboga has also created a program that causes it every so often to look like the stuff on the computer screen is literally turning sideways. The scammers can see this.
    • The various claims that Mrs. Williams makes regarding the properties of her kitchen and home:
      • "Whenever I go into the kitchen with the laptop accidentally, I come back and the battery is fully charged."
      • She states that she leaves a baked potato in the kitchen and about fifteen minutes later, it's done.
      • She sits some water in the kitchen for tea and 30 seconds later it's ready.
      • She claims that the area within approximately two miles of her home has been designated a "no fly zone."
      • She states that her home is the opposite of haunted, which is apparently "blessed."
      • She states that you can sit down anything her kitchen and instantly kills all germs.
      • She and her husband no longer have to pay a heating bill, though the home heats unevenly and the electric bill is through the roof.
      • The state of California keeps sending her letters telling her she needs to put up a sign saying that her house contains substances known to be cancerous by the state of California.
      • Nobody will visit anymore because there is no grass within a mile radius of the house.
      • Once a neighbor came over and simply walked through the kitchen and her warts were cured.
      • Anytime they try to paint or wallpaper the place it just falls off within two to three days.
    • Mrs. Williams tells the scammer she invested in Bitcoin years ago and figures it's probably worthless now, says it's probably something like $10 now and she'll give it to the scammer. Logs in and turns out she has just over a million dollars.
    • The green-screened backgrounds now include a man in a HAZMAT suit and radioactivity symbols.
    • "I didn't realize I'd been in front of the computer this long. I'm going to be glowing like my husband is."
  • One call had Kitboga connecting to a scammer named Patrick. He manages to trick the scammer into uwittingly recreating that famous SpongeBob scene.
    Nevaeh: Sorry, is this... the Krusty Krab?
    Scammer: No ma'am, this is Patrick.
  • In "This Might Be the Angriest Scammer of the Year...," the scammer misspells "Chase" as "Chasde" in the fake transfer on Kitboga's account. Kitboga plays this for all it's worth, even going so far as to edit his Chase Bank backdrop to read "Chasde Bank" instead.
  • A recent recurring plotline in March 2022 has involved an in-universe website known as "Crow Pro", a platform devoted to everything corvid. In one call he got the caller to record a promo, later remixed into the site's theme song.
  • On one stream, Kit teamed up with Natalie Sideserf, who made an impressive hyperrealistic cake that looks like a hand holding a Google Play card. The scammer asks Kit to show the card on the device's camera, and Kit plays footage of the cake being sliced. At first, the scammer laughs and takes it in stride, until...
    Susan: We didn't go to the store, we made a cake for you. We thought you'd like it.
    Jack: Oh, you didn't go to the store, you made a cake?
    Kim: We had that cake. We were like, maybe we'll just give it to him 'cause it's his birthday.
    Susan: It's pretty good, isn't it? What do you think, Jack? Did you like it? You want a piece of it?
    (long pause)
    Jack: FUCK YOU! (hangs up)
  • The page image originates from "The Most 'Professional' Scammer I've Ever Called," also known as "Baited - The Professional," approximately 2 hours and 40 minutes in. The scammer boss has told Kitboga's Jebediah character he needs to go out and purchase Best Buy gift cards. Kitboga opens up Microsoft Paint on his computer and draws an elaborate scenario of the scammer minion involved, Catherine and the scammer boss and everything that's been outlined, culminating with himself in a cowboy hat as "W007."
    Jebediah: And then your company gets the money and she saves her job and I ride off into the sunset lookin' like a hero. Heck, I oughta draw a cape on myself. (does so)
  • "Scammer Cries After Losing $5,000 to Virus" (a.k.a. "Three Slice Lisa"):
    • This one has a unique twist on the refund scam. As usual, the scammer, Lisa, claims that she was trying to send a refund, but accidentally sent too much money. However, Granny Edna claims that, as a senior, Bank of America automatically enrolled her in fraud forgiveness, that it's something they do for everyone past a certain age. So every time Lisa pretends to have sent too much money, Kit just reverses it and has Edna claim that she called the bank and had them do the fraud forgiveness, or that the bank called her because they noticed unusual activity.
      Lisa: I can see!
      Kit: She's not very happy about that. (as Edna) Isn't that great?
    • The ending. Since the transactions keep getting reversed, there is theoretically no reason why Lisa should be in trouble anymore, but she breaks down fake-crying, claiming that she is going to lose her job for no adequately-explained reason. Eventually, Edna tells her she'll go and get gift cards, then "comes back" saying that she got one $500 Google Play gift card, one $500 Papa John's gift card and one $500 Domino's gift card. She asks her if she wants three slices or only one, telling her she can't have it both ways. She eventually just states she'll take the Google Play card, at which point Kitboga does the fake redeem. She blows up, telling Edna that she ruined everything and she shouts at her that she has the audacity to say that she ruined everything after she saved her job and has been talking to her for so long. Lisa hangs up, but then calls back to ask if she can have one of the pizza gift cards. Edna tells her that she spent part of it, then tells her no.
  • In "They Ransomed My Grandson for $10,000," the scammer pretends to be Tyler, the grandson of Kitboga's character Richard, who is supposedly in jail for something he didn't do. This is already amusing enough as the voice the scammer uses is ridiculous but Kit decides to roll with it anyway. Then, "Tyler" tells Richard only to speak with Peter Collins, the alias that the scammer is using at the moment. Shortly after this, the scammer then starts pretending to be Simon, a lawyer. Except - whoops - as Kit points out as Richard, his "grandson" told him only to speak with Peter!
  • In "Security Guard Stops INSANE $5,000 Scam," Kitboga's Richard Johnson character towards the end hides out in a bathroom and pretends to be an old lady when the security guard shouts for him to come out. After the security guard is gone, the scammer praises it as having been a good show.
    Richard: Was it? Yeah, you can subscribe for free with Twitch Prime, so...
  • Kitboga advising scammers trapped in the Bitcoin maze to place their phone in airplane mode as a means of solving the problem, with predictable results.note 
  • "Using ChatGPT to Call Scammers" is jam-packed with funny moments as "Sir Arthur" takes one particular scammer on a fantasy journey involving carrier pigeons, countdown dance parties, wizards, unicorns, singing, cosmic alignment, and other mishaps as the scammer simply wishes to withdraw bitcoins that don't exist. Kit laughs so hard at the AI's antics at several points that he starts crying.
    • The two highlights are when the scammer actually sings into his phone and taps it at the request of the AI, and when it malfunctions (more than it already was) and Kit takes over as if Arthur was real, but simply new to the job.
  • In "Scammer Wasted Over 20 Hours Watching Me Redeem Gift Cards," the scammer asks Granny Edna if she's heard of Google Play gift cards.
    Granny Edna: (hesitant, confused) I don't think so.
    Kitboga: (triumphant, fists pumped) Oh, yes I have!

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