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Funny page for the Killing Eve series. Keep in mind that most of the humor is pitch black, so don’t feel bad about laughing at the show.

Beware of spoilers!


Season 1

1 - Nice Face

  • Villanelle's introductory scene, where one moment she is eating ice cream and smiling at a child who was smiling back at her, and then the next moment she is spilling the little girl's ice cream onto her lap.
    • Bonus points for the fact that Villanelle pulls a Terminator 2 and ‘analyzes’ a nearby clerk’s smile in order to create her own version of it (which looks both uncanny and uncomfortable) and the little girl still smiles at her.
  • Eve's introductory scene, where she is seen having night terrors and screaming in her sleep. A possible reference to another of Sandra Oh's characters.
    Eve: I fell asleep on both my arms.
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    • Well, at least Eve and her husband had the whole weekend to—cut to Eve buzzing into work.
  • Elena telling Eve that she would nail a cousin to work with her idol. Carolyn Martens.
  • Villanelle pretending to be dead when Konstantin walks in. He knew she was faking it but she still manages to get a scare out of him.
  • Eve is trying to get information from a witness to a murder, but said witness is uncooperative to say the least...mostly because she was blitzed out of her skull and swearing in Polish.
    Eve: Does anyone in the department speak Heroin Polish?
    • Eve telling the witness something in Polish: "Get your arse into bed!"
  • Eve getting Elena to look up known female assassins, then asking her how big their breasts were.
  • When Eve and Niko are discussing how they would kill each other. Niko answers with some rather boring and uninspired methods such as "I'd push you down the stairs" and "I'd flatter you to death." Eve's response has, shall we say, a little more thought put into it.
    Eve: I'd paralyse you with Saxitoxin and suffocate you in your sleep, chop you into the smallest bits I can manage, boil you down, put you in a blender, then take you to work in a flask and flush you down a restaurant toilet.
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  • This exchange:
    Frank: (to Eve) You're fired.
    Eve: You're a dick-swab!
    Bill: Oi!
    Frank: Thank you, Bill.
    Bill: No, I was gonna call you a dick-swab!
  • Followed by:
    Bill: Just to be clear, Frank...
    Frank: (to Bill) You're fired.
    Bill: Excellent. Thank you.

2 - I'll Deal With Him Later

  • In the first scene, where a young woman on the bus is witnessing a man being stalked and about to be killed by Villanelle. Instead of calling the police she instead calls her mother...to see if she needed anything from the shop.
  • The guy Villanelle is about to kill throwing a telephone in her face, then immediately apologising to her.
  • The completely irreverent way Villanelle is conversing with Konstantin, such as making a smoothie while he's trying to tell her off.
    • Also, this exchange in the same scene:
    Konstantin: London was—
    (Konstantin gets interrupted by the loud blender Villanelle switches on)
    Konstantin: (five seconds later) —meant to look like suicide.
    Villanelle: It didn't?
    Konstantin: So she slit her own throat?
    Villanelle: It happens.
    Konstantin: And killed four other people?
    Villanelle: ...slip of the hand?
  • Konstantin insists Villanelle gets assessed again to make certain she's still fit for field work. She goes to her assessment in the pinkest, frilliest little-girl's-dress you have ever seen on a grown woman.
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  • The kind neighbour Villanelle has been screwing decides to sample her (poisonous) perfume when she wasn't looking, while she and Konstantin argue about needing to deal with him. Then, minutes later when he collapses dead in front of her door she just stands there, reacting with the same emotional weight as dropping a glass of water.
    Villanelle: Dealt with.

3 - Don't I Know You?

  • Eve is describing Villanelle to a sketch artist in increasingly descriptive terms, and speaking as if she had just met the love of her life. And after she is done the sketch artist asks... "So, is that like a square face or an oval face?"
  • A Chinese colonel (and Villanelle's next victim, by the by) books an appointment with a fetish club with a nurse theme. As in actual (fetish) nurses. With actual surgical instruments. That clamp testicles.
  • When being asked to accompany Eve to Berlin, Bill is cooing to his baby, "Oh, God, I'm going to die, aren't I? Hmm? Daddy's going to die, isn't he?" Becomes something of a "Funny Aneurysm" Moment when later in the episode Bill actually does die in Berlin.
  • Villanelle is hooking up with an older woman, whom she insists on calling "Eve" and claiming it was a Biblical thing... and then out of the blue she decides to play hide-and-seek with her instead.
  • Bill being called an old tart.
  • The dead Chinese colonel's nickname was apparently "Fat Panda," which according to the Chinese attache Bill and Eve are talking to was a little racist...and fattist.
  • You want to hear something really freaky? Sometimes, when the conditions are right, Bill and his wife—the dirty perverts—have sex.

4 - Sorry Baby

  • Delivering Bill's eulogy is Frank, of all people. It would probably be a Tear Jerker if the total ineptness of it wasn't so amusing.
  • The confusion on Konstantin's face when he walks into Villanelle's apartment to see balloons and a birthday cake waiting for him... as well as Villanelle, who was sporting a fake beard and dressed exactly as he was.
    Konstantin: It's not my birthday!
    • The present that Villanelle got for Konstantin’s daughter? A dog toy.
  • Passing themselves off as colleagues of Frank's, Villanelle gives out fake names for herself and Nadia: Natalie and... Fanny. And it's pretty clear how much Nadia hates being called Fanny.Note 
  • This exchange between Diego and Villanelle.
    Villanelle: (after a failed assassination attempt on Frank's life) Now what?
    Diego: Say something stupid and I will shoot you.
    Villanelle: (in a mock gangster voice) Like you shot Frank—BANG!—in the head?

5 - I Have A Thing About Bathrooms

  • The look on Villanelle's face when she comes face to face with a toilet brush-wielding Eve. Also, the fact that Eve has locked herself inside of her bathroom and had to defend herself from the professional assassin with a bog brush.
  • Later on in the same scene, when Villanelle is screaming for Eve to calm down... by waterboarding her in her own bathtub until she agrees to have dinner with her.
    Villanelle: I'm not going to hurt you!
    Eve: You're hurting me!
  • Frank begs for his life. It doesn't go so well.
    Frank: Please, we can do a deal. I have a lot of money!
    Villanelle: So do I.
    Frank: I have children...
    Villanelle: I don't want your children.
    Frank: No. I have children to take care of.
    Villanelle: Oh! This will give them something to bond over.
  • The team finds Frank killed by Villanelle and with his penis cut off. Smash cut to Villanelle cooking sausages.

6 - Take Me To The Hole!

  • Konstantin gets what he wants.
    Konstantin: What's the phrase in your country?
    Eve: Don't be a smug asshole.
    Konstantin: Yes, that's it.
  • The end of the episode after Villanelle kills Nadia the guards burst in to see Villanelle scream (with the kind of enthusiasm usually meant for winning a holiday trip) “Take me to the hole!”

7 - I Don't Want To Be Free

  • While reviewing some private letters between Konstantin and Carolyn that Kenny dug up. The exchange is especially funny when you bear in mind that Carolyn is Kenny's mother.
    Eve: Oh my God.
    Kenny: I know.
    Eve: These are filthy!
    Kenny: I know.
    Eve: [peering closer at the letter] ...What's a butterfly bead?
    Kenny: I decided not to Google that.
  • This exchange between Konstantin and Villanelle:
    Konstantin: Where’s my family?
    Villanelle: You abandoned me.
    Konstantin: I was protecting you they want you dead!
    Villanelle: No, they want you dead.
    Konstantin: Who told you that?!
    Villanelle: Anton.
    Konstantin: Where is he?
    Villanelle: (smiling) He’s dead.
  • After Villanelle attempts to have Konstantin commit suicide, Konstantin clocks her in the face with a log and escapes by motorboat, middle finger saluting her. All Villanelle can do is angrily flip the bird back at him in frustration.

8 - God, I'm Tired

  • Most of the episode focuses on Villanelle dragging Konstantin's daughter around Moscow, and their interactions with one another during their time together:
    • Irina is yelling at Villanelle in Russian, and Villanelle's response is to threaten her at gunpoint to try and get her to shut up. This quickly turns into a childish shouting match about who is going to kill whom.
    • This exchange:
    Irina: My dad is going to kill you in the face!
    Villanelle: No, I'm going to kill your dad in the face.
    Irina: No! Why?
    Villanelle: Because he is an asshole.
    • The look of absolute horror on Villanelle's face when Irina asks her if she was a paedophile.
    • It turns out that Irina can speak English, Spanish and German in addition to Russian. Villanelle asks if she could speak Mandarin too, and acts smug when she doesn't reply. Then Irina finishes their conversation by speaking Mandarin more fluently than Villanelle.
    • Villanelle, on an old chair that belonged to Anna: "I think the best sex we've ever had was on that chair." Irina's response? "Bozhe moy..."Note 
    • This exchange, while Anna points a gun at Villanelle:
    Irina: What would God say?
    Anna: He would understand.
    Villanelle: What would He say about doing it in front of [Irina]?
    Irina: I don't mind.
    Villanelle: Shut up.
  • Also about Konstantin's daughter, it is something of a Running Gag about how annoying she is.
    Kenny: Is she really annoying?
    Konstantin: (with a look that says, "like you wouldn't believe") She's so annoying. She is amazing, but so annoying.
  • Eve and Kenny go into Carolyn's room and see it completely trashed, like somebody had tossed it looking for something. A drunken Konstantin in the room holding a hairdryer reinforces this image, and they immediately think he did something to Carolyn, until she suddenly walks out the bathroom. Turned out the mess was hers.
    Eve: (referring to Konstantin) Why is he here?
    Carolyn: Business.
    Eve: So he sells hairdryers, now?
    • Also, as they're all leaving:
    Eve: What happened to your room?
    Carolyn: What do you mean?
  • Eve is understandably nervous being in the same car as Konstantin while he is driving and downing miniature liquor bottles like there is no tomorrow.
  • Villanelle's bored sounding, "Please stop moving or I will shoot someone. I swear I am desperate." As if she had said it a hundred times before.
  • Near the end of the episode, when Eve is telling Villanelle how she feels about her, to the point where it begins to sound like a Love Confession, and then Villanelle responds that she thought about Eve as well... and that she masturbates a lot when she does. Eve, for her part, is more surprised than disgusted.
  • Eve's Gaining the Will to Kill by stabbing Villanelle in the stomach with a switchblade... followed by her total Mood Whiplash when she immediately panicks and runs for a first aid kit.
    • Villanelle urging Eve not to pull the knife out because it'll make her bleed more, followed by Eve pulling the knife out, which prompts Villanelle's own response, with mixture of panic and sheer exasperation...
      Villanelle: What did I just say?!

Season 2

1 - Do You Know How To Dispose of a Body?

  • Eve freaking out over the encounter with Villanelle, getting on the phone to blurt out "I think I killed her..." And realizes she's standing in front of a man on his knees proposing to his girlfriend, both staring at her.
    Eve: (Beat) Congratulations.
  • Villanelle's delight when she sees that the hospital room she's in has stickers and lollipops is hilariously childish:
    Villanelle: (to herself, upon seeing the stickers, with a absolutely shit-eating grin) Oh. Stickers.
  • Villanelle looks as though she is about to drop dead, and the patient who is recovering in the bed next to hers asks if she is alright, just a moment before she drops like a ton of bricks.
    Villanelle: (just before she collapses) "I'm f—"
  • Carolyn reminiscing about a park her father used to visit. According to her, it was very popular with spies in the 1950s; an ideal place for sensitive conversation...and to have sex with boys, which was apparently an added bonus for her dear old dad.
  • Eve freaks out when the little boy Carolyn was sitting with (presumably her grandson) is being taken by some random man, assuming that he was a paedophile or a kidnapper. Carolyn assures her that he was probably the boy's father. Turns out that the little boy wasn't her grandson at all — she'd never seen him before in her life.
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