Funny / Kanye West

• The "Broke Phi Broke" fraternity skits.
  "We have no money, we are sharing jeans. If I go outside, I got the only clothing on!"
• Also the "School Spirit" skits on The College Dropout. Both sets of sketches were done by comedian and Kanye's friend DeRay Davis, best known for his days on Nick Cannon's Wild'N Out.
  "When a lady walks up to me and says, "hey, y'know what's sexy?" I say, "No, I don't know what it is, but I bet I can add up all the change in your purse very fast!""
• The skits in the introduction for The College Dropout involving the delightfully hammy college dean requesting Kanye to "sing summin fo tha kids" at the graduation ceremony. After Kanye proceeds to rap about drug dealing and unemployment, said dean promptly flips out and strips Kanye of his graduating tickets and robe right on the spot.
• Kanye himself has many ridiculous metaphors in his lyrics and tweets that also qualify for CMoF status.
• I specifically ordered Persian rugs with cherub imagery!!!
• When Kanye gets Punk'd
  "The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away."
• Kanye drunk and talking, the results are hilarious as always.
• be Kanye
• During the ''Runaway" video, Kanye is sitting at a table with some guests and his lady companion, a phoenix. One of the guests turns to him and asks if he knew that his girlfriend was a bird. He calmly turns a bit and flatly says "No, I was not aware."
• His infamous post-Katrina outburst was in pretty bad taste if for nothing else than a very poor choice of venue to start soapboxing. But looking back, the look on Mike Myers' face was priceless.
  • The moment gets a hilarious callback on the season premiere of Saturday Night Live, airing a few weeks later, in which Kanye was the musical guest. While walking out to the stage, Kanye encountered Myers, who was now a nervous wreck thanks to constant harassment from "the FBI and the IRS"
• The three testimonials on The College Dropout's "The New Workout Plan."
  • How Kanye introduces his plan:
  If you follow these instructions exactly, you might be able to pull you a rapper, a NBA player, man at least a dude with a car!
  Consult your plastic surgeon before beginning this workout.
  Results may vary. Don't get your hopes up.
  • This hilariously unsubtle line: "There's a party tonight, and ooh she so excited / tell me who's invited / you, your friends, and my diiiiiiiiiiiiiiick!"
• The Blades of Glory dialogue in "Niggas in Paris" from Watch the Throne. Kanye took this clip and removed all references to "My Humps", resulting in...
  Kanye: ... Got my niggas in Paris, and they goin' gorillas!
  **beat drops out**
  Jon Heder: - I don't even know what that means!
  Will Ferrell: No one knows what it means, but it's provocative! Gets the people going!
  **beat comes back**
• This Mood Whiplash-laden bit from "I Am A God"
  I just talked to Jesus
  He said "What up, Yeezus?"
  I said shit I'm chillin'
  Tryna stack these millions
  • From "Hold My Liquor," off the same album:
  Waking up on your sofa,
  When I park my Range Rover
  Slightly scratch your Corolla—
  Okay, I smashed your Corolla
  • From "Bound 2."
  Hey, you remember where we first met?
  ...okay, I don't remember where we first met.

  • As well as:
  She asked me what I wished for on my wishlist
  Have you ever asked your bitch for other bitches?
  • "On Sight". Just..."On Sight"
  [As] soon as I pull up and park the Benz, we get this bitch shakin' like Parkinson's
  And I know she likes chocolate men, she got more niggas off than Cochran, hah!
  Took her to the 'Bleau◊, she tried to sip the fountain, that's when David Grutman kicked her out, but I got her back in and put my dick in her moooooooouuuuuuuth (Giggles slightly)
• His outburst to TMZ. Although it came off as jerkish, it was still funny.
• His TMZ rap song.
• "Jay is Kweli's favorite rapper, 50 is Eminem's favorite rapper, and...I'm my favorite rapper."
• This iconically awkward line from "Father Stretch My Hands, Pt. 1"
  Now if I fuck this model
  And she just bleached her asshole
  And I get bleach on my T-shirt
  Imma feel like an asshole.
• The very strange poem that Kanye wrote for Frank Ocean's Boys Don't Cry magazine. What's it about? McDonald's.
• This line in "No More Parties in LA", right at the end, tends to catch people off guard:
  And as far as real friends, tell all my cousins I love 'em
  Even the one that stole the laptop, you dirty motherfucker^note Kanye had previously mentioned this same cousin in "Real Friends", but you probably forgot about it on your first listen.
• "Lift Yourself", likely the most pointedly Troll track Kanye has ever released. It was apparently a beat Drake was interested in, but Kanye decided to screw around and release a gibberish track for kicks. For bonus points, Ye sounds like he's trying really hard not to burst out laughing.
• "I Love It". The song by itself is already pretty funny from the lyrics, but the video features both Kanye and Lil Pump dressed in suits reminiscent of character models from Roblox trailing behind a giant Adele Givens. Even more, Lil Pump plays the scenario completely and bizarrely straight while Kanye is having the time of his life goofing off trying to dance in the suit and making incredibly goofy faces, which just makes everything all the more hilarious and weird.
• The artist behind the artwork for My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy reveals why one of the album arts◊ was banned from certain stores. It was Kanye's idea.
• This lyric from his verse in Twista's "Slow Jamz," which he would later cite as the moment he knew he would be famous:
  She got a light-skinned friend look like Michael Jackson
  Got a dark-skinned friend look like Michael Jackson
• His sudden Cathartic Scream at the end of "Follow God."
  I woke up this morning, I said my prayers
  I'm all doing good, I try to talk to my dad,
  Give him some advice, he starts spazzing on me,
  I start spazzing back, he said "That ain't Christlike!"
  I said "ahhhhAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

• "Holla 'we want prenup'!" "We want prenup, yeah!"
• The entire Donda 2 listening party, although largely for the wrong reasons to do with technical problems. The entire concert was plagued with audio glitches through and through, leading to offbeat songs (most notably "Off The Grid", which, at this point, can be called "Off The Beat"), some songs being cut short, and Kanye's response? Throwing his microphone onto the ground. One could hardly blame him.

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