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Funny / Justice League: War

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  • Batman tells GL he's been tracking Superman's flight pattern, giving us this exchange.
    GL: On what, your own satellite?
    [Batman gives him a look]
    GL: I was kidding! You have your own satellite!?
  • Superman's casual and snarky interactions with Batman and GL during their fight.
    So... what can you do?
  • A heckler accused Wonder Woman of being a Destructive Savior and says she dresses like a whore. Wonder Woman responds by lassoing him and making him admit to crossdressing as her. However, instead of mocking him after he admits it makes him feel powerful, she agrees with the sentiment and encourages him to embrace it.
  • Wonder Woman discovers the joys of ice cream.
    Diana: [Beat] Ice cream is wonderful! [takes another lick]
    Hannah: Told you so.
    Diana: [points sword at ice cream vendor] You should be very proud of this achievement.
    Ice-Cream Vendor: ... Um, thanks?
  • When Steve comes to alert her to the invasion.
    Steve: Diana!
    Wonder Woman: Steve! Have you ever tried ice cream?! [points to the vendor with her sword] This cook is truly blessed!
    Steve: You need to come back to the White House.
    Wonder Woman: [huffs, annoyed] You sound like my mother. [keeps licking her ice cream]
  • Hal asks if Bats is "just some guy in a bat costume" and in response, Batman just turns and smirks.
    Hal: Are you freakin' kiddin' me?!
  • Batman and Hal's banter during the President's speech.
    Green Lantern: Costume? This is my uniform.
    Batman: Quiet.
    GL: Oh, you wanna bark orders, after I did the heavy lifting and pulled everyone together?
    Batman: You're referring to when you botched simple directives and Wonder Woman led the charge?
    GL: Cyborg showed you a video?
    Batman: He e-mailed it to me.
    GL: I really hate you, Bats.
  • Flash geeking out over meeting Batman. After Batman compliments Flash on how he's doing a good job in Central City:
    (Flash staring starstruck as Batman bolts off to fight another Parademon)
    Green Lantern: (grumpily) Hey, uh, Barry? You, uh, got a little somethin' on your nose.
    (Flash scowls at Hal)
  • When Superman is pounding the force field bubble containing Green Lantern and Batman all over Metropolis, and the shield starts to crack...
    Batman: Lantern, focus. You stop concentrating and that shield breaks apart.
    GL: [through gritted teeth] Shut up...
  • Once Darkseid shows up, Hal attempts an attack... only to be swatted into a building... and then two Parademons rush in from off-screen to keep on beat Hal as he lays prone on the ground, necessitating his rescue by Barry. Hal tries to attack Darkseid two more times. They're just as successful as the first, and he gets a broken arm for his trouble.
  • While trying to work as a team Hal doesn't actually have a plan to follow so he starts listing Darkseid's powers with his eyebeams. Diana latches onto this mistaking his lack of a plan for thinking the plan is to blind him, with her sword, so he can't do that anymore. Lacking a better plan Hal just goes with that.
  • What Billy Batson says before attacking Darkseid.
    Shazam: Hey Blackheart the Death-Eater or whatever your World of Warcraft name is. Suck on this!
  • After Superman is abducted by the Parademons, Hal tries to go off on his own, and Batman asks him what he's trying to prove.
    Hal: I'm not trying to prove anything, you phenomenal douchebag!
  • After Batman leaves Hal in charge, Billy charges in, trying to show off, going against the plan, and Darkseid promptly starts beating the crap out of him.
    (To Wonder Woman) Get him out of there, his showing off is going to ruin the entire plan. Beat Great, now I'm Batman.
  • Most of the team has Darkseid pinned with an All Your Powers Combined attack, and Flash needs to find something to put out Darkseid's other eye. He zips over to some emergency workers to snag a crowbar.
  • At the end of all the fighting Green Lantern asks Cyborg where Shazam went, when Vic mentioned they're missing playdates predicament selfbiting hilarity ensues.
    GL: Where'd Shazam go?
    Cyborg: He took off, said he had a hot date.
    GL: Right. Who'd go out with that immature hothead?
  • Hal's attempts to lead the team using sports metaphors Wonder Woman doesn't understand and leading them into battle with a cry of "We've got this!", which Barry tells him was weak. Later during the President's speech, Hal tries to play it off to Batman, but Batman knows Hal failed miserably and Wonder Woman had to take over as leader. It turns out Cyborg emailed Batman a copy of video footage he recorded of the fight.
  • Green Lantern's completely uninterested "Oh yeah, and that's Batman." to Flash upon his arrival.
    Flash: Batman's real?!
    Green Latern: Yeah he's over there.
  • Batman and Superman both pulling a I Know Your True Name on each other in a matter of seconds.
  • Green Lantern's first attempt to hit on Wonder Woman. He gets completely cockblocked by Superman.
    • In fact, the look Clark gives Hal just says "Dude don't be weird."
  • When Flash shows up to help him and Batman, Green Lantern exclaims, "Flash, my boy! Good to see you!" and does an awkward and lame fist bump/hand shake on Flash who just stares at him with a "what the hell is this?!" look on his face.
  • YMMV on this one, but watching Darkseid crawl after the Flash at super-speed is kinda hilarious, particularly when you consider it's the fastest Darkseid through the whole movie.
  • When Cyborg tells the assembled heroes the Parademons are terraforming the Earth Batman states that it makes sense.
    GL: How do you figure?
    Batman: Well for one thing, the water's on fire.
  • Hal's overconfidence when he's about to fight Superman.
    Hal: Here's the plan: Green Lantern kicks Superman's ass, TMZ's got the video.
    Gets his ass handed to him in a Curb-Stomp Battle two seconds later.