Despite the bleakness of the situation, the film still manages to have a few of these.
- Drunk Constantine alone is worth the price of admission, with Raven's flat response - on realising that he is who they have to rely on to save the world - is flat.
- When Constantine is attacked by Parademons, he proves perfectly capable of fighting even while drunk...then, disgusted, complains that the price for that bit of magic is that he's now sober again.
- When the heroes are attacked by the League of Shadows, Lady Shiva tries to attack Etrigan only to be grabbed and lifted by her hands. Undaunted, she just starts kicking Etrigan in the face. Etrigan ignores her, but for the next minute or so she keeps doing it.
- Etrigan spends most of his screen time in a combination of boredom and inebriation. Whether lounging around on a League of Shadows bed munching on a turkey leg or generally trolling Constantine, he brings some levity to an otherwise dour story.
- John Constantine and Captain Boomerang hurling insults at each other due to their annoyance of the other's nationality, which concludes in both of them saying "Wanker!" in unison.
- When Damian and Raven go to the infirmary, Cheetah accompanies them. Before leaving, she gives Damian a little smile, as if to say "Go for it, kid."
- Damian just looks annoyed.
- John Constantine spots Harley Quinn hanging around with King Shark, and exclaims "oh, bollocks, it's my ex!". Raven assumes he's talking about Harley. He isn't.
- His response to Raven assuming it's Harley is "Do I look mad?", implying that a giant shark man is a better choice than Harley Quinn. And from the wink that King Shark gives him, he was right.
- In Harley and Lois's MMA fight, Harley gets stunned unconscious with her own set of taser knuckledusters, mumbling "I tawt I taw a Puddy Tat!" on her way to the canvas.
- Harley revealing that she and the Suicide Squad has been raiding Lex's trucks to gain their supplies.
Harley Quinn: We're real Robin Hood types. Rob from the rich, sell to the poor!
Lois Lane: Give to the poor.
Harley Quinn: Huh?
Captain Boomerang: That can't be right...
- Though a rather morbid example of Black Comedy, Harley laughing about how Amanda Waller died of cancer and didn't get her Get Out Of Hell Free Card which spells bad news for her in the afterlife is pretty funny considering how much of a Jerkass she's been throughout her appearances.
- The infiltration of Lexcorp has a few funny moments, such as Harley and Boomerang's disgusted reactions when King Shark clears the bus, Boomerang trying (and failing) to sound American, and Harley happily murdering guards while dancing and singing, "If you're happy and you know it, bash a head!"
- During the Suicide Squad's last stand, Captain Boomerang gets so annoyed with King Shark's Pokémon Speak of "King Shark is a shark" that he quips "And Captain Boomerang is a boomerang!" followed by some swearing. King Shark then reveals that he CAN speak perfectly normally by saying It Has Been an Honor, prompting more swearing from an incredulous Captain Boomerang.
- And then Harley blasts through a paradoom and rises up while covered in blood with a huge grin on her face and screams this:
TOP OF THE WORLD, PUDDIN'!!!
- After Cyborg boom tubes everyone back to Earth and is about to boom tube Apokolips, he has this to say:
- Constantine is brought back to life after getting killed by a Trigon-possessed Superman. His response is, how to say, appropriate for his character.
I cant even be a corpse in peace. Wanking destiny can go bugger itself!
- Before that, when he meets Zatanna in the afterlife, his first question is how the hell she got him into Heaven.
- During the Lois-Harley Cat Fight, amid the bloodthirsty howls of the spectators, Clark's hilariously inappropriate, "Do your best, honey!"