When the League first gets together and has to split up in groups of two to handle threats in different locations, Flash immediately grabs a bewildered Wonder Woman as his partner. Next shot:
Flash: (to Green Lantern) You're no fun!
When Batman is spying on the scientists during the time before the invasion, he has a look of pure bafflement when one of the scientists casually lifts a heavy piece of equipment.
1x04/05 — In Blackest Night
Flash chooses to act as Green Lantern's lawyer, as the planet they're on "solved their lawyer problem a long time ago." He's then told that if Green Lantern is found guilty, his lawyer will be executed too.
Our heroes investigate Felix Faust's home, where Flash accidentally sets off a death-beam scepter, and Batman chastises him for messing with the relics. Quick cut to Superman, Wonder Woman, and J'onn immediately putting some relics back.
Wonder Woman encounters her first shopping mall:
Diana: It's like some kind of temple! Superman: Yes, for those who worship their credit cards.
During the final battle, Lord Hades unleashes an army of the dead to fight the heroes. Jonn simply goes intangible, lets the zombies overzealousness destroy each other, and then casually smacks the last one standing into dust.
1x10/11 — War World
Of all people to start a large chant in an autitorium, Martian Manhunter (wearing a cloak) starts chanting "Superman" like he's in a sporting arena, with the audience soon following. What adds to the funniness is the usual tone he has is being used to project itself.
1x12/13 — The Brave and the Bold
The cold open has an archeologist duo digging up ape fossils in the plains of Africa as one sees the mountain in the background transform into a hi-tech city. A gorilla on a hovercraft flies past being chased by two other gorillas on hovercrafts. One of the two pursuers shouts HUMANS! and they both fly back into the city which transforms back into a mountain before the other archeologist can even see whats happened. For anyone watching who isnt aware of Gorilla City, its hilariously random.
In the beginning, Flash is trying to hit on a couple of girls. After he quickly saves them from a truck that crashes into a diner and leaves to do some superheroing, one of the girls says this to the other:
Girl: And you didn't want to give him our phone number.
Flash and Green Lantern are talking in front of a hot dog stand. GL admonishes Flash for wasting time. Flash's response?
Flash: Relax, it's just a little snack. (draws out two heaping armfuls of hot dogs)
Flash: Let's see, after I caught the gorilla, he told me that... Green Lantern: The gorilla talked to you. Flash: Yeah, right after I stopped his car. Green Lantern: I'm supposed to believe this? Flash: Hey, we've both got a Martian's phone number on our speed dial. I think I deserve the benefit of the doubt here.
A cop offers Flash coffee and asks how he takes it.
Flash: With cream and thirty-seven sugars. (cops stare at him) Really.
1x14/15 — Legends
When Green Lantern, Martian Manhunter, Hawkgirl, and Flash get sucked into the world of an old comic book GL used to read, they're very much fish out of water, since it's a World of Ham. When Tom Turbine makes his entrance, for example, the look on Flash's face is priceless. He takes to it pretty quickly, though; during his fight with Dr. Blizzard, he's pretty much playing pun tennis with him.
Flash attempts to get some cookies. Hawkgirl's response?
Batman: Grundy, what's Luthor paying you for this?
Grundy: Money. Lots of it.
Batman: As much as he's getting? (gestures towards Humanite) [...] Look at all you've had to put up with. You should be getting more.
Ultra-Humanite: More than me? Preposterous!
When Luthor is told that he basically has cancer because of the Kryponite he's always carried around in his pocket...he quickly blames Superman and throws a clipboard confirming his illness to him. The way Superman's looking at him just gives the emoticon of "-_______-".
When first in prison, Luthor yells at Humanite from his cell to lower the volume of his viewing of an opera. Humanite raises the volume, to which we see Luthor's annoyed face.
There's one part:
Superman: (shoves Copperhead up against the wall) Copperhead...when are you gonna get some sense and tell me where Luthor is? Copperhead: (not fazed in the least) Ooh. This must be the part where I get so scared, I spill my guts. Superman: (trying his best to look angry) I'm warning you... Copperhead: (still unimpressed) What're you gonna do, Boy Scout? Short my sheets? Give me a wedgie? (beat) Superman: (releases Copperhead as he turns to the guards, frustrated) Take him back to the holding cell. Copperhead: Hasta la vista. (hisses as the guards lead him out) Flash: ...That went well. Superman: How does Batman do it?
Following the chaos during the League successfully retrieving the Philosopher's Stone from the home of Harvey Hickman, Morgaine le Fay literally explodes with rage and leaves while Harvey (who was magically transformed into a giant worm-like creature, clobbered by Wonder Woman, and changed back after Morgaine Le Fay's departure) faints on his grotto from exhaustion, while an annoyed neighbour berates him for the noise, thinking it's one of his parties gone too wild:
Neighbour: Hey, Hickman! Keep it down! Some of us are trying to get some sleep! (Slams the window to reveal a reflection of Hickman's mansion on fire)
Just as Morgan Le Fay is about to get her hands on the Philosopher's Stone, the heroes ambush her.
Superman: Batman! It's really you! [bear hug] Batman:[deadpan] Am I missing something?
Parts 1 and 2 feature some of the best Batman one-liners around. The producers even joke about this fact during the commentary because they were just on a roll with his character during those episodes. For instance, there's a moment where Bruce and Diana first see the city where the "gods" live and this happens:
Or when he and Wonder Woman have to leap into the Boom Tube to help Orion and Superman fight Darkseid:
Batman: Next time I let Superman take charge, just hit me real hard!
J'onn gets one of his own, while using a captured Braniac drone both as a robo shield and to shoot the others with its own hand blasts:
Batman: "Having fun?"
There's something oddly funny about Superman charging at Brainiac (who's behind a force field), only to have the field bounce him back like a stretched rubber band when he is only a couple meters from reaching the villain. He lands next to Darkseid.
Amazo meets Mercy...and proceeds to hit on her. Apparently, he absorbed more than super-speed from the Flash.
Batman: (slams some bills on the counter) Give me a triple. Now.
In an attempt to stay awake, he turns the radio on to some pop song and punches the Batmobile's already-cracked windshield out for some air. Could he have rolled the window down to save glass? Yes, but not BATMAN!
Even better, it might be a sing-song ad playing. "-hungry? Are you thirsty? Come to Jon's. Dine at Jon's."
Maid of Honor
When a squad of mooks invades the party Bruce and Diana are attending, both of them start preparing for action... but Bruce realizes that Diana has the situation well in hand before he can even start changing into the Batsuit, so he just kicks back to have some hors d'oeuvres and watch the show.
Vandal Savage's casual reply when asked what he's doing in Pt. 2:
Vandal Savage:[while counting off each with his fingers] Destroying the Justice League, building a rail gun, assuming total dominion over the Earth.
Batman charges Savage while brandishing a swivel chair and uttering "You're in my way." in his usual deadpan voice.
Batman fails to prevent Savage's Kill Sat from firing, but does manage to change its target. When Wonder Woman asks where, he gives her a Grin of Audacity and says "Right here."
Hearts and Minds
When Green Lantern is captured and brought before Despero:
GL: Despero, I presume. Whole Crowd: DESPERO IS ALL! GL: With a backup group, no less.
When Despero reveals the flame of Pitar to GL:
GL: You built a bonfire. Am I supposed to be impressed?
The Flash and Kilowog search GL's apartment for his power battery. Flash raids the fridge and offers Kilowog some of GL's ice cream. He eats it, cardboard tub and all. He also snacks on a VHS tape. Both delicacies get the same comment from him.
GL's landlady, armed with a broom, beats the crap out of the Flash for trespassing. Kilowog continues searching the apartment, ignoring this.
Flash: (To the landlady) We'll give you a call if we ever need a replacement for Hawkgirl!
Even funnier when you consider that Flash's Super Speed should make it impossible for her to hit him, yet he never even tries to dodge.
A Better World
When Lex Luthor is arrested, he boasts he'll be out of jail in days. Wonder Woman raises her fist and says, "Not with a broken leg you won't."
When the Justice Lords are fighting Doomsday, a bunch of prisoners are watching on the news, and one says, "Twenty bucks on the ugly guy."
In the mostly dour episode:
The Flash: Without me, your group fell apart. I was the conscience of the group!
When the other heroes worry that Flash has been injured, they decide that he's fine after he tries to convince Wonder Woman to give him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
Smarmy Host Gordon Godfrey utters a weak "Mommy" when he sees the sun being eclipsed.
The end of the episode shows Gordon doing his show in a cramped room with only a handful of bored people in the audience. Gordon (still referring to himself as "the glorious one," and trying to sound on top of the world) then asks viewers to tune in to his new time slot: around 4 a.m., right after the farm report.
At the end when Flash gives up endorsing products, he passes the job off to Mophir.
The Terror Beyond
After Aquaman brings him to Fate's tower, Inza presents Solomon Grundy with some treats. He looks ready to eat, but actually hesitates out of politeness.
Inza: It's okay. Take as many as you want. [Grundy starts pigging out]
Afterwards, Doctor Fate arrives:
Doctor Fate: I am Doctor Fate. Grundy:[panicking, with his mouth full] Girl gave Grundy the cookies!!
Then, after some plot exposition:
Grundy: Too much talking, Grundy bored!
Aquaman's words when he saves Grundy from the military, in light of who and what he's talking to.
Aquaman: If you wish to live, come with me.
Supermans frustrated sigh right before he knocks out a belligerent Aquaman.
Icthultu notices Hawkgirl is Thanagarian (her people worshiped, then banished him) giving us this exchange:
Icthultu: You have the stench of the Thanagarians upon you.
Superman defeating Grodd with a finger flick, and his Oh, Crap! face just before that.
A mook gives the Flash a Pretender Diss when the latter tries dangling him out the window to get him to talk. Unlike Batman, though, Flash actually drops him - but keeps pace by running down the side of the building and asking for details, rescuing the hapless thug at the bottom after he agrees to talk.
The reveal that Giganta use to be a normal gorilla. Shade was hitting on her until this revelation. Not at all helped by the fact that after Grodd reveals this, Shade looks over to Giganta eating a banana and winking at him.
Kalibak: I'm going to grind you into paste! Lobo: Awful brave talk for a dead man. Kalibak: I'm not dead yet. Lobo: You're right. My watch is about ten seconds fast.
And then the boast is backed up.
[not ten seconds later, but close enough] Lobo: Say it! [Beat] Kalibak: ...Uncle. Lobo: I can't hear you! Hawkgirl: He's beaten. Put. The car. Down. Lobo:[tosses it over his shoulder and into a building] I was gonna.
After it's revealed that Superman was sent far into the future.
Superman: How did you get here?
Vandal Savage: The old-fashioned way. I'm immortal.
Savage has become a little...eccentric over thirty millennia.
Superman: You're insane. Vandal Savage: True, but that doesn't mean I'm not good company. Say, you wanna come over to my house? Superman:[stares at him] Vandal Savage: Like you've got something better to do.
The manner in which he asks sounds remarkably like a little kid with a new best friend.
Just after, Savage reveals exactly how he destroyed the world and personally killed the League, there's a tense moment where it seems Superman will try (in vain) to kill him for what he's done. After he decides not to even bother, he asks Savage Now What? Savage's response is just gold:
Vandal Savage:[suddenly cheerful] Lunch?
Later, as Superman is looking over his library while Savage cooks:
Superman: Self-help books? You don't seem the type.
Vandal Savage: I scrounge whatever I can find. Anyway, I've got issues - what with my destroying the Earth and all.
Savage built a whole tower, but Superman still has to sleep on the couch because there's no guest bedroom.
Joker: And since every great suspense show needs a ticking clock, here's mine! (the countdown starts at an arbitrary number of minutes and seconds) Oh, what were you expecting from me? A round number?
Also, the Vegas casinos are emptied...except for one old woman playing the slots;
Joker: Ma'am? Ma'am? Aren't you scared?
Old woman: Of what? This thing's bound to pay off sooner or later.
Joker: Man, I love this town!
That leads to a demented Brick Joke at the very end of the episode. "JACKPOT!"
Just the fact that Joker is doing a play-by-play commentary while the heroes are running all around Vegas. Everything about that is hilarious.
Joker's reaction to seeing Harley Quinn socking Batman in the jaw after she sees Joker being close to Ace.
Joker [surprised]: Have to admit, didn't see that one coming...
Also in that episode:
Joker: "There are twenty five bombs scattered throughout the city, and they're set to go off in..." [puts on glasses and takes an exaggerated look at the timer in the corner of the screen] "Oh dear! That's not a lot of time!"
Also, the line "While they stumble around, trying to find my bomb" just gets you.
Then at the end, Flash stops the last bomb, which is seconds away from exploding. The camera is on him, the clock strikes :01, and he and the bomb disappear. Cue a stunned Joker wondering what the hell just happened. Flash had run the bomb all the way out to the desert, with it exploding in his hands—frame-by-frame, too—in the span of one second.
The Joker's subdued "Huh" after watching the replay of Flash running the last bomb into the desert while it's exploding.
The Royal Flush Gang's intro, more specifically Queen's:
Superman releases his inner child. He still believes in Santa (though given the setting, he may not be wrong), wants to be the one to plug in the Christmas tree, and attempts to peek into his wrapped presents using X-ray vision, only to be foiled by Ma and Pa Kent wrapping them in lead foil. The juxtaposition with his normal, serious self is hilarious.
Ma Kent gives J'onn a sweater as a Christmas present, saying her group always makes extra sweaters just in case. Keeping in mind that J'onn's human form is about as wide as Superman's, J'onn still needs to enhance his bulk in order for the sweater to fit. Nobody else would have possibly fit that sweater.
A little one when J'onn plays Santa for a little girl. He reaches down from the chimney for an Oreo cookie, followed by an "Mmm." Coming from The Spock of the outfit, it's funny.
The Flash hears some explosions going off in a museum and investigates. He finds some sculptures that look mangled and wonders who would do such a thing — Ultra-Humanite then reveals himself, commenting that he hasn't done a thing to those sculptures, they were that ugly to start with.
Ultra-Humanite then explains that he's not robbing the place, he's just outraged at the poor quality of the exhibits.
Flash: Ohhhhhhhhh-kay. I'll just take you back to prison, where you won't have to look at the ugly old sculptures anymore.
Hawk Girl takes Green Lantern to her favorite bar:
GL asks if this is where she goes to relax, Hawk Girl clarifies this is where she goes to celebrate, not relax.
She mentions that only one thing will make it more perfect. GL thinks she means a kiss. She instead buries her mace in the hand of the biggest alien at the table and hands it off to GL. Said alien, after recovering, sees GL holding the mace and proceeds to rearrange his spine.
Followed the rest of the aliens happily joining in on the Bar Fight.
Especially funny is that Flash's dumb smile doesn't go away after Alfred's sarcasm. He just seemed so genuinely proud of himself for figuring out what that dinosaur was.
When the Thanagarians invade Wayne Manor, Alfred tries to fight them, but one of them simply grabs his face and shoves him to the side.
And this bit, as Batman, Martian Manhunter, and Flash are checking out the Thanagarian craft.
Batman: Well? J'onn: I have no idea how to fly this vehicle. Flash:What's this do?(presses a button, blasts a hole in the side of Wayne Manor, while Alfred dives out of the way) Batman:That's. Not. Helping.
Diana: They weren't misunderstood, they thought we were food!
During one fight scene, a soldier pulls the pin on a grenade and tries to lob it, only to be stopped by Dove who simply grabs his arm and says "I wouldn't." The soldier spends about 10 seconds silently going over his options, and then just meekly re-inserts the pin into the grenade. Dove then flicks the pin back into its original shape and thanks the soldier.
This Little Piggy
Circe trying to ham it up with a big villain rant. Zatanna isn't having any of it.
Batman gives Wonder Woman the "It's Not You, It's My Enemies" speech about why they can't date and how his villains would attack her. Wonder Woman...crushes a stone gargoyle head to immediately render the entire point moot.
According to DVD commentary, The Joker was supposed to make a cameo in the episode. He and his minions would have been plotting something when Batman walks by cradling Pig!Wonder Woman in his arms and talking to her. The whole thing causes Joker to throw his arms up in defeat and walk out of there. It's hilarious to imagine.
This is the only episode Bwana Beast featured in, which is kind of sad when you consider some of the dialogue he gets.
Bwana Beast[speaking to pigs]: C'mon, anybody seen her? Newcomer. Metal bracelets. Kinda stuck-up.
The Ferryman won't leave until his toll is paid, and holds out his hand like he's expecting a tip.
Themis: Uh, there is a small service charge.
Crimson Avenger asks an elderly suburbanite if he's seen a pig, and he yells out to his wife that it's for her.
An in-universe example is in the DVD commentary for this episode where the creators have a chuckle over the fact that Bruce is ten times nicer to Diana when she's a pig than when she's her normal self, especially during the scene when he meets with Zatanna and very sweetly pets Pig!Diana and rubs her back. That might be one part Diana would have liked to remember...
It's implied she did remember, which makes it a little funnier.
After the Question reveals that he knows exactly what Supergirl eats late at night (here):
Supergirl: How did yo- What, do you go through my trash?! The Question: Please. I go through everyone's trash.
The Question: [approaching locked glass door] Fell in love again, what am I gonna tell my friends? It just happened. You walked in my door, and now I don't want to be. Alone. No. More. [throws a potted plant through the glass] Oops. I've done it. Told you how I feeeel. Just hope this time that our love is reeeeal...
The Greatest Story Never Told
Most of Skeets' lines, but especially when Booster Gold starts ragging on himself and even Skeets' constant stream of encouraging sycophancy finally gives out: "I got nothin'."
Skeet's instructions on childbirth:
Skeet: "According to my files, we first boil water, then tear up several sheets. Preferably ones we no longer intend to use for bedding..." (Booster shoves him aside).
He then asks what's next after Luthor gets his nose hairs trimmed.
When being confronted by nearly the entire Green Lantern Corps, Amazo reveals that he hadn't destroyed Oa, merely moved it out of his path. Jon Stewart, clearly trying not to scream at the top of his lungs, bites out "could you please put it back?" He does so.
Batman's are bigger than Amanda Waller's. Made more hilarious by Batman's dickish grin while he says it.
As Batman is falling from his plane, completely deadpan.
"Batman to all points. I could use some air support. Since I can't fly. At all." [just seconds before he hits the ground] "Now would be good."
Wake the Dead
Aquaman tries to snap Shayera out of her funk in his own way... by provocation.
On their way to join the battle, Vixen catches Green Lantern in a point of logic as he tries to make sense of the situation.
Green Lantern: Dr. Fate called it. Solomon Grundy's back. Vixen: The zombie guy? A heavy hitter. I read about him in the files. Lantern: Yeah, he's tough, but we can handle him. Funny thing is he's supposed to be dead. Vixen: Aren't all zombies, by definition, dead? Lantern:I, uh...
Superman's reaction to the unexpected arrival of the odd teamup of Shayera, Doctor Fate, AMAZO, and Aquaman (note this is the first time Superman had seen Shayera since her self-exile) during their fight against the reincarnated Solomon Grundy.
[The four of them assemble in front of a clearly confused Superman]
Superman: [Beat] OK. Let's throw a wave of our big guns at him. Me, Fate, and the android.
The Once and Future Thing
John insinuates there might be romance between Bruce and Diana. Bruce shoots it down.
Batman: Diana is a remarkable woman, she's a valued friend. She's...standing Right Behind Me, isn't she? Wonder Woman: But don't let that stop you. Keep digging.
The bit of dialogue leading up to this was funny in its own right when you realize that not only is Batman making small talk willingly, he's teasing Green Lantern about his love life.
David Clinton explains the reason why Tobias Manning kept him alive while he uses his time travel tech to steal technology from the future.
David Clinton: He keeps me here to show him out how to work the stuff he can't figure out for himself. Bat Lash: Which I'd suspect is most of it, what with him being so mule-stupid and all.
Warhawk, seeing Green Lantern at the end of Part I: "Dad?"
Static trolling John over his relationship with Shayera.
Static: Shayera was one cranky pregnant lady. Although, to be fair, if I had laid an egg that size... Warhawk: Hes kidding, Dad.
Hal Jordan is in less than half of one episode, but still manages to get a moment in:
John Stewart: Enid Clinton, we've got— [The past is altered mid-sentence, resulting in Hal Jordan being the Green Lantern] Hal Jordan: —business with your husband. [to everyone else]What? Hal Jordan. Another time shift. I'm up to speed. Carry on. Terry: O-kay, I'm starting to get a migraine.
And then when Hal Jordan changed back to John Stewart:
Static: Make up your mind!
There's also a bit between Batman and Old Man Bruce where present-day Bats decides to go out and find information the more direct way.
Terry: It's not going to work, you don't know your way around here. A lot of things have changed.
Batman: Are criminals still superstitious and cowardly?
Terry: Batman, Bruce Wayne. Bruce Wayne, Batman. Or have you met?
Both Bruce Waynes: Not now!
Terry: Great. What did they used to call it? Stereo?
During Ghoul's interrogation. One has to wonder what exactly Old Bruce did to scare him into talking so badly, worse than being threatened to get dropped off a skyscraper by Batman. In fact, Batman was tasked playing good cop with his future self's bad cop.
Virgil: Wow, Batman playing good cop.
John: Everything's relative.
Plus Ghoul is so scared he confesses everything, including his problems with bed-wetting.
There's an absolutely golden moment where Chronos, having discovered that Chucko was selling information to Batman, drops him back in the age of the dinosaurs. Chucko merely scoffs and declares he can easily defeat the dinosaurs with his weapons. Cue meteor bursting through the clouds.
Wildcat is having trouble with some common thugs, and one of them is watching a fight on his laptop after Wildcat was beaten. The commentary from the laptop fits Black Canary appearing and beating up the thugs quite well. Also counts as a CMoA.
Green Arrow telling Black Canary that he's "seen her around" (and her knowing reaction to that comment) is pretty funny in light of his Distracted by the Sexy reaction to seeing Black Canary in "Initiation."
The Ties That Bind
Flash and the Elongated Man are deep in discussion and bent over what looks like a chessboard, discussing how neither of them is taken seriously by the rest of the League...only for the camera to pan out and reveal that they're actually playing Brawlin' Bots.
Flash: Haha, I bopped your block off!
EM: That's not fair, the green guy's arms are longer!
The scene where Flash first convinces Barda and Mr. Miracle to let him help them. It's especially adorable how he punctuates it all with "Friends?"
Giving Barda the flower was the icing on top.
"Robots! I love smashing robots!"
Baron Vunderbar produces a good one after he has tried 'every device' to make Kalibak his obedient servant.
Baron Vunderbar: Every device except...cake!
Kalibak actually looks tempted for a moment.
The fact that Vunderbar is Arte Johnson reprising his German soldier character from Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In- he even does a shout out to his Running Gag from that show "Ver-r-r-ry interesting... but futile."
Flash and J'onn pick their players for a game of "Brawlin' Bots":
There's a meeting between the Founding Seven discussing Cadmus. Batman mentions that he assigned The Question to gathering information on the organization. This elicits a Collective Groan from the rest.
Flash: Not that kook!
Batman comments "I'll admit, he's wound a bit too tightly." That's coming from Batman.
And right before, when Batman asks what's to stop the Justice League from taking over like the Justice Lords did.
Flash: Me. Those guys went overboard because their Flash died. So as long as you all focus on keeping me alive, that'll never happen here.
Needless to say, the other six aren't amused.
Task Force X
Colonel Flagg pop-quizzing Plastique on their mission:
Rick Flagg: OK, Plastique. You're setting the charge, and Superman walks in the room... Plastique:(understandably startled) You said he wouldn't be there! Rick Flagg: Last minute change in the duty roster. Superman's got the drop on you. What do you do? Plastique: ...Before or after I change my shorts?
After Flagg's team has gotten through Watchtower security.
Deadshot: I thought he was gonna wet himself when you mentioned the Martian. He couldn't let us through fast enough. Plastique: That was nothin'. I almost lost it when this bonehead set off the metal detector. Captain Boomerang: 75 cents is 75 cents. I'm supposed to throw away money?
And, of course, there's Deadshot trolling Plastique by asking Green Lantern if he could get Hawkgirl's autograph for him.
Flash is not a very smooth operator.
Flash: (all League members stare at him after the disastrous meeting between him, Wonder Woman, and Shayera) I had dinner with two women at the same time! Cuz I'm a stud! (accidentally smooshes his hand into his mashed potatoes. He dejectedly sits back down and licks it off his hand)
Hermes is the Messenger of the Gods, you'd think he'd be experienced enough not to screw up which scroll he gives to who.
Wonder Woman: (reading from scroll) "For a good time, call Podenemus"?
Hermes: Wrong scroll. I think I got a shot, it's her cell number.
Just before that, Hermes remarks that the message must be pretty important: "Zeus paid for overnight delivery."
After being tasked with defeating Felix Faust and restoring Hades to the throne of the underworld, Wonder Woman asks why she should care, given that she hates both men. Hermes deadpans, "You mean, besides the 'direct order from the gods' thing?"
When Wonder Woman and Hawkgirl are in Hades, some demons see Hawkgirl's wings, and are instantly hesitant to fight her. She plays this for all it's worth, claiming to be an angel, and scaring the demons away.
Hawkgirl: With any luck, they'll all be that dumb.
The demon Wonder Woman and Shayera captured asking to be released from the lasso.
At the beginning, you have two mooks waiting outside their boss's mansion, and this bit of dialogue comes up:
Cecil: But how come when I make the scones, they don't got that good flavor like yours, Tony? Tony:(smacks Cecil's head) Do I have to tell you again how you gotta add the orange zest, Cecil? You gonna make me give you the recipe again, huh? You're killing me here, Cecil! Killing me!
When Black Canary and Green Arrow are riding on a motorcycle over a train track:
Green Arrow: Are we dead yet?
Black Canary: No.
Green Arrow: (voice getting shakier) Are we dead yet?
Black Canary: Look, if we die, I promise I'll let you know!
Huntress: Wow. Had no idea the Girl Scouts were behind the crop circles.
Question: Few people do.
This one is good not only for the awesome fight scenes, but a couple of hilarious moments from Mr. Comically Serious himself, Batman:
Batman: You were a little hard on the Boy Scout, don't you think? Superman: I thought I was the Boy Scout. Batman: I did too, 'til I met Captain Marvel. Superman: Why are you—why is everyone defending him? Batman: We like him. He's...sunny.
As well as this:
Batman: What did these guys want anyway? Superman: To take over the world. Or rob banks. I forget.
Superman's busy rescuing a plane and is late to the battle at the beginning; the (still-unseen) Captain Marvel flies past him, knocking Supes' cape over and into his face.
Vigilante is ripe with Funny Moments (which should come as no surprise, considering who voices him), but one of his funniest moments is when he nabs the Thanagarians' ship in an attempt to rescue Vixen and Shayera.
Vigilante:Consarned, dang-blasted, horse-thievin', alien control panel which can't nobody work proper![flies beneath Vixen, who is free-falling] I'M COMIN', DARLIN'! YEEEEEEE-HAW!
A little while later, while Vixen and Paran Dul's fight in the back of the ship makes things a bit rocky:
Question's capture, specifically how Luthor manages to outwit him. The Question thinks Luthor running for president will eventually lead to the end of the world as shown in the Justice Lords alternate universe. The Question's solution is killing Luthor before Superman can. The reason this doesn't work? The Question didn't count on how petty Luthor can be.
Luthor: That's right, conspiracy buff. I spent 75 million dollars on a fake presidential campaign, all just to tick Superman off.
Also, when Supes is busy holding up the teleportation platform for repairs he comments "I could do this all day. Not that I want to." The Question approaches — "Something I can help you with?" "I think so, but I assume you don't want to talk about your 'White House weenie roast' in front of a crowd?" Supes promptly drops the platform.
Panic in the Sky
Batman tries to destroy Lex's robot with an exploding batarang. Lex catches it in midair, and deadpans "That... was uncalled for." And then hits him with a tool bench.
Earlier in the conversation, Batman opines that Lex has a photographic memory capable of memorizing Amazos schematics from the previous season. Lex sheepishly responds, Im too modest to boast.
Lex asks a defeated Amanda Waller if she really thought she could beat him all by herself.
When Batman confronts Luthor at LexCorp, and Luthor monologues about his Evil Plan to ascend into godhood and murder Superman and the League. Batman probably gave the best response to any supervillain scheme ever:
Batman: Sorry. Maybe next time. (Throws the batarang at the android)
Another one is that after the remaining League in the Watchtower defeat the Ultimen clones, the power reboots back on and the lights return to the station, prompting cheers ("Yay!"). A second later, the power cuts out again, with widespread groans ("Aww!")
When Lex Luthor takes control of the JL's satellite and fires its main gun at the Earth, the founding Leaguers agree to turn themselves in to the US government as a show of faith. Batman, however, decides to follow a separate lead.
Soldier: Where's Batman? Flash: Running late. The Batmobile, it lost a wheel. The Joker got away. [Beat] That's what I heard.
Divided We Fall
The Flash butts in on Luthor and Brainiac's conversation.
Flash: Hate to interrupt this special live performance of The Thing with Two Heads, but it's time to go to jail now.
Waller: What he said.
Hawkgirl, after a fair bit of expository dialogue between Lexiac and Superman: "Less talking, more hitting!"
The cut to the expression on Terry's face is what really sells it. One little Fascinating Eyebrow says so much.
Hearing Bruce scolding Terry about being out late like some nagging grandparent, delivered in his typical deadpan.
Bruce: Where the devil have you been? [...]You could've called. I made you some soup, but it's cold.
For an added dose of Irony, Terry leaves the soup and says he'll eat after he comes back from patrol. It took over sixty years, but Bruce has found himself on the receiving end of what he always did to Alfred.
When Lex holds the elderly Blackhawk hostage to get away:
Blackhawk: Im sorry. If I was twenty years younger...
Lex: Youd STILL be ancient. Keep quiet.
After stealing the Spear of Destiny for Grodd, Luthor asks if Grodd intends to sell it to the highest bidder or use it for world domination. Grodd says that actually, he's going to use it to decorate his office. Luthor is left speechless at having risked his life just for that, before admitting that it's Actually Pretty Funny.
The opening, set in Japan where Supergirl is beating up a giant mutant turtle, has Stargirl grumbling about the other heroine "stealing her thunder" and getting her shin kicked by a fangirl. Stargirl tries to score some points by pointing out that her stepdad, Stripe, drives a mecha, but the fangirl just scoffs: "Mecha so last year."
The interaction between Stargirl and Warlord as they both look over the ragtag group that's gathered to fight the local tyrant.
"And Black Canary said a buzzsaw arrow was self indulgent."
"While I strongly suggest that you surrender immediately and prepare to be boarded, I really enjoy firing Trident missiles at tiny little subs so the decision's entirely up to you."
J'onn forces Killer Frost to stop an avalanche that is threatening to kill civilians, which she manages to do by exerting her powers to their furthest limits. Afterward, J'onn gently congratulates her on a job well done. KF's response is... not gracious.
Killer Frost: (voice cracking with exhaustion) Kiss my frosted butt!
Flash and Substance
The episode is terrific; not only does it feature the aforementioned Flash and Batman, but also Orion, who's an even bigger case of The Comically Serious than Batman (which is saying something). And the scene where Flash interrogates the Trickster was probably the funniest thing ever on the show. Doubles as a Heartwarming Moment, too.
Flash:[admonishingly] James, you're off your meds, aren't you? Trickster:Better off without 'em. Take 'em if I start feeling down. Flash: You know that's not how the medicine works. You're not well! Trickster: I'm fine! [brightens up] ...You wanna throw some darts? Flash: No. [beat] Listen, James, you're wearing the suit again. Trickster: I am? [looks down at his costume] Well, what do you know...? Flash: Here's the deal, buddy. Tell me where those guys went, and I'll come see you in the hospital. We'll play darts! The soft kind. Trickster:[smiles widely] Okay, they're gonna ambush you at the Flash Museum. Flash: See? That's all we needed! [to Batman and Orion] Come on, we better get over there. Orion: What about your enemy? Flash: Oh, right. Dude, as soon as you finish your drink, turn yourself in. Trickster:[raises mug in salute] Got me again, Flash!
The Trickster is made of CMOF. Like his conversation with the other three Flash Rogues in that episode.
Mirror Master: Here we are, the hardest men in town, and we all have something in common. Trickster:Bilateral symmetry.
The continuation of the conversation:
Waitress: What'll it be, boys? Captain Boomerang: Arnold Palmernote iced tea with lemonade. Trickster: Cherry Cola. Mirror Master: Decaf soy latte. Captain Cold: Milk. (Others stare at him] Captain Cold:[sheepishly] My ulcer's been acting up.
And he says "Milk" like he's hoping if he sounds gruff enough, nobody will notice.
Mirror Master: Boomer, must you always plead poverty?
The following one-sided conversation between Batman and Orion:
Orion: I can't believe you let that buffoon manipulate you. You'd never see me at one of these museum openings.
[Batman gives him a "you just volunteered" stare]
Orion: ...It's not black tie, is it?
Hell, the fact that Orion, a New God and the son of Darkseid, is as intimidated by Batman as everyone else.
Flash: Mirror Master! Mirror Master: You're as quick as ever! Flash: Yeah? Well, you're... You're not really all there! Mirror Master:Oooh! Nice try! If you had another minute, you'd probably think of a decent comeback!
Linda Park: When we come back, I'll try to get with him...Get to him...For an interview...Are we off? Geez. He's a total babe. Like the entire track team at once. I can't believe you're not into him, Marla. Marla:Okay... Now you're off.[Linda slaps a paper on her face in embarrassment]
When Captain Boomerang sends dozens of exploding boomerangs after Flash, Flash tries to to get rid of some of them by catching and throwing them away. Naturally they turn right by and Flash can only Facepalm and say Duh.
The Flash, stuck on a flying, giant, spinning boomerang, to Captain Boomerang, who was watching him on it: "I swear, when I get out of this, I'm gonna find you and hurl all over you!"
When Flash crash lands right in front of Batman and Orion, the casual dialogue between them is amusing. Doubly so because of Ron Perlman's deadpan delivery of Orion's line and the fact he's standing at parade rest:
Orion: Flash... Flash: Hey guys. Orion: You're tied to a very large boomerang.
After both Mirror Master and Captain Boomerang's attempts to kill the Flash fail, the Trickster tells them his overelaborate plan ("Nothing as stupid as a giant boomerang."), all the while Boomer and Mirror master are clearly inconvenienced by the idea of listening to him. Then Captain Cold has a better idea.
Captain Cold: You know what? Taking turns is dumb. Let's just all jump him at the museum.
Trickster: Firstly, I get four hundred cases of fake dog vomit, I grease the bottoms of them, and when The Flash runs into the them, the whole mess slides into a wall of metal spikes! The cases break open, and whats left of The Flash is buried alive in phony barf. And then (cackles) everything explodes!
When the Rogues just ignore him and head off to ambush Flash at the museum, the Trickster tries again.
Trickster: Okay, you don't like the barf? I can make do with fifty thousand rotten eggs and a chainsaw.
Orion punching the head off of a cardboard Flash.
Flash: Dude! That was my last standee. Orion: It...startled me.
When Wonder Woman is turned into a gorilla, her reaction is "Oh come on!"
Several of the non-superpowered League members are fighting a supersoldier (the mutated Gen. Wade Eiling) that keeps demanding that Superman come to fight him. Green Arrow, who has been requesting backup from the Watchtower throughout the whole fight, receives word that reinforcements are on the way. This leads to the following:
Green Arrow:[to Eiling] Well you wanted Superman? Now you got- [two people teleport in] ...the Crimson Avenger and my ex-sidekick. Speedy:[having just teleported in] Ex-partner! Green Arrow: Speedy, we gotta do this now?
After Eiling effortlessly swats the Avenger and starts advancing:
Eiling: You spoiled, rich little twerp! Green Arrow:[while pelting him with arrows, including one stolen from Speedy's quiver] I think he means me. Speedy:[likewise, deadpan] Oh. For a second, I was all mad.
When General Eiling is confronted with his hypocrisy (declaring hes trying to keep the world safe from metahuman by beating up on non-power Leaguers as a hulking monster) by the crowd, J.K. Simmons line read is hilariously casual as if hes just arguing over what to have for dinner.
Eiling: Alright, Ive become what I hate, Ill give you that.
Flash(in Luthor's body): My fellow bad guys. I, Lex Luthor, your leader, will speak now about my, Lex Luthor's, plan. My villainous, villainous plan. Question the plan at your peril! Uh... any questions?
At the beginning of the episode, Sinestro expresses concerns about Luthor's leadership:
Sinestro: After Grodd tried to turn the world into apes, you can imagine how seriously we take something like that. What are you going to do, make everybody bald?
Bizarro has one with this line as he's trying to figure out what's wrong with Lex:
Bizarro: Ever since you plug into monkey's head, you act perfectly sane and rational. Am you Bizarro's mommy?
What nobody at the table realizes is, Bizarro speaks in Bizarro speech, where good is bad and hate is love. If that's applied to what he is saying here he's saying: since the incident Luthor has been acting crazy and irrational, you are not Luthor. Of course Bizarro being the craziest one there they just ignore him.
Flash fielding the "answer" from Bizarro by sincerely responding, "Excellent! Do enlighten us." Tala looks shocked that Lex would even bother to humor the big lug.
"Watch your step, my evil minion. You presume too much! One of these days, you'll go too far."
The episode cements the Superfriends-ish flavor that the final season had for most of its duration, though in a much better way than Hanna-Barbera used to do. The icing on the cake has to go to Luthor, as the Flash, inadvertently discovering Green Lantern's weakness. It must be seen to be believed.
As they start to get along, Supergirl is constantly hitting on Brainiac 5, who mostly reacts with confusion, while Green Arrow is openly shipping them.
Later, Superman asks Green Lantern and Green Arrow: "Now, this boy Kara likes so much...does he have a name?" Cue awkward looks on Green Lantern and Green Arrow's faces.
Mari and Shayera are working out and Mari says that since she's going out of town for a photoshoot, this would be a good time for Shayera to make a move on John Steward. Shayera jokes that she still doesn't quite understand the "customs" of earth, since back on Thangar she'd either beat her rival's face in or poison their water. When Mari leaves, Shayera tosses her a bottle of water. Mari says thanks, then remembers Shayera's joke and wisely chucks the bottle in the trash.
Luthor is commanding the Legion of Doom to build another device. We get this gem:
Lex: Sinestro, don't forget the floor, I want radiation shielding from every direction. Rampage... [Loud shaking noise, cut to Bizarro trying to put a square box into a round plug] ...help Bizarro.
Additional humor comes from the visual pun. Bizarro was literally trying to beat a square peg into a round hole.
Toyman gets surrounded by Parademons. He shoots at them with Nerf gun darts, and as the shots harmlessly bounce off, the Parademons stare in confusion... until they all explode.
Wonder Woman is fighting parademons at the Great Wall of China when a man standing on the wall volunteers to help. Wonder Woman tries to warn him off for his own protection, only to watch him take out two parademons with two solid haymakers. Wonder Woman can only issue a stunned utterance:
Wonder Woman: Hera...
Of course, it then turns out that the volunteer was J'onn.
After Batman manages to dodge Darkseid's Omega Beams, Darkseid openly wonders if Lex Luthor will be as agile. Lex takes one look at Darkseid's glowing eyes and jumps away.
At the very end of it all, the Legion of Doom had just assisted the Justice League to defeat the forces of Apokalips. When the Legion learn they're about to be arrested, Atomic Skull insists they should be compensated for helping them. Batman reluctantly agrees...
One story from the Unlimited comic has Batman visiting Kent Farm for Christmas. Pa Kent, not knowing Batman's Secret Identity, tells him to keep an eye on people like Lex Luthor and Bruce Wayne.
One of the Unlimited comic issues sees Jonah Hex pull a Dirty Harry on a mook. Sort of.
Hex: I know what you're thinkin'. You're thinkin' my ray gun done ran outta rays, so I ditched it. You're thinkin' I've got six bullets in my reg'lar against all that metal and fancy zaps you got, so how can I have a chance? I guess the question you gotta ask yourself is..."Why was I so busy listenin' to Jonah Hex that I didn't hear Bat Lash sneaking up on me?"
(Bat Lash smacks the grunt in the back of the head with a rifle)
In Justice League Beyond 2.0 #3, the League faces a problem they cannot solve: Superman asking for dating tips. The group's Reaction Shot is hilarious enough, but then there are their various suggestions. Superman was so desperate that he even went to Old Man Bruce and the wizard Shazam for advice!
Yeah, Bruce Wayne is whom I wanna go to for advice on my love life...