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Funny / Just A Random Tuesday

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  • Minerva telling Peeves to "get rid of that abomination [Umbridge's cushion]" creatively. Poor choice of words, Minerva...
  • The Reveal that Minerva went on a date with Tom Riddle. It apparently didn't go too well, as she wanted to wring his neck, and fifty years later she wishes she had.
  • After Peeves' stunt with the Leaping Lunch, the students panic.
    Student: Oh God it's You-Know-Who!
    Dumbledore and Harry Potter's word wasn't enough to convince them but a flying pasta sauce left the good students of Hogwarts utterly convinced that Lord Voldemort was after them. Bizarre, it was truly bizarre.
  • Minerva gets lost in the dungeons. Theodore Nott is the first person she meets.
    Minerva did think, fleetingly, that no students should be out of bed so late but she had a great deal of trouble caring. Frankly, [Theodore] could have been a lime green ostrich, sent by the memory of Salazar Slytherin to rid the school of Witch Weekly magazines; so long as it had directions to get out of these damned dungeons.
    • Theodore's description of Hogwarts' Love Dodecahedron. To summarize, Daphne asked Theodore out, but he was going with Pansy Parkinson, then he broke up with Pansy and became interested in Daphne, while Pansy was interested in Draco, who was interested in Daphne, who tried to set Theodore up with Susan Bones... It gets more and more complicated from there.
    Minerva: Thank you for all your help. You've been most, er, illuminating. And whilst I mean this in the most complimentary and grateful way possible, I must regretfully inform you that I am going to try my utmost to repress every single thing you told me this evening.
  • Minerva's sixth-year Hufflepuffs start debating whether or not she could have kittens while in cat form.
    After the Great Kitten Debate of 1996 died down, class went rather smoothly. During the debate it was generally agreed that Minerva could not have kittens. Or that if she did they would have to be fathered by another cat Animagus and that in the unlikely event of that happening the kittens would be super-intelligent, diabolical genius kittens who would take over the Earth with an army of tabbies, which they would control with poisoned cat-nip and mind-controlling feather toys.
    Minerva honestly missed having the thought processes of a fifteen year old on occasions, as it would evidently be a lot more interesting than her own thoughts.
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  • The chain of events that results in Severus having to punish Ginny... for suggesting he should be DADA teacher.
  • Minerva saves Fred from June. He's very grateful.
    They would have made quite an odd sight, Minerva supposed, to anyone who happened to be looking. Fortunately, there were no stores left open on Diagon Alley and so the only person that saw them was George Weasley as he was locking up the store. Minerva really wondered what had to be going through his head as he turned around to see his twin brother on his knees, with his arms wrapped around his old Transfiguration Professor's waist, chanting the phrase "Thank you" over and over and over again. She supposed it would have been an odd enough sight under normal circumstances....
    So really, when she thought about it, she shouldn't have been surprised at George's expression of mildly terrified bewilderment.
    • Shortly after this:
    Fred: [about Minerva] She's brilliant, do you know that? She should be deified. We should build a shrine for her or something.
    George: Er...?
    Fred: She saved me from June.
    George: [to Minerva] I bet you wouldn't have done it if you'd know how, ah, grateful he'd be.


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