Funny / July Anarchy

In Prologue:

• Alex can shout several Bond One-Liner that are quite funny:
  Was your face that ugly before or after I got to you?
  I'm tired, my hair is green and I have a gunsword. Do NOT fuck with me.
  Alex Meda wins. Fatality.
  He didn't suffer long... I'll have to try harder next time.
  While you're down there, why don't you shine my boot?
  Welcome to the real world, Tolkein-freaks! [sic]
  They ought to make a video game out of me...
• The dialog with the stereotypical Texan Dustin Chase has several funny lines:
  • When Alex starts talking to him:
  Dustin Chase: Howdy there, partner! Name's Dustin! Dustin Chase, San Antonio Militia. And this here's my pistol, Lucille. Stay on both our good sides, and you'll do fine.
  Alex Meda: I'm Alex Meda, Valor Legion. And this is my sword... eh.... Well I haven't given it a name yet.
  • At a moment during the dialog, the player has the option to leave with the following line:
  I suddenly feel the urge to watch a Yosemite Sam cartoon. So long, Dustin.
• When meeting fellow Nomad Rhino Gleeson after the beginning of the battle:
  Rhino Gleeson: I've got a longsword and a small shield I only use in emergencies. Now I'll let you have one of them. You'll need all the help you can get up ahead, but I can't be there personally. There has to be a Nomad here on Sgt. Henry's line. We're the last thing stopping the Mythans from sacking San Antonio. What'll it be kid?
  Alex Meda: Never know when I might come up against heavy armor. Give me the GEP gun.
  Rhino Gleeson: Ehh... Alex... What the hell is a GEP gun?
  Alex Meda: Wha... oh sorry, wrong game. What were you saying?
• The dialog with demolition specialist Chief Paolo:
  Chief Paolo: Yeah, this pile of rubble behind me is Tier-Anoch's asshole. The service entrance into the museum area. As you can see, a few orcs climbed that rope over there and tried taking potshots at some of our boys. But some mage got a lucky shot off with a fireball before they could do anything. What's not so lucky, is the explosion collapsed part of the alcove above the service entrance. So now nothin' gets in or out this way.
  Alex Meda: So if we blow that rubble out of the way, I'm as good as in?
  Chief Paolo: Yeah, that could be fun. But I don't have any ordnance on me.
  Alex Meda: No problem. I'll just drag over a few of those explosive barrels that inexplicably seem to be everywhere.
  Chief Paolo: Heh, I like how you think, but that won't work. See, the alcove above this cave is very unstable from the last explosion. Set off another in the wrong spot, and the whole thing will crumble. We're gonna need something powerful, but precise... and I think I know what.
  Alex Meda: A rocket launcher?
  Chief Paolo: No, but again, I like where your head's at. See, I MAY have hidden a little ordnance somewhere around here...
  Alex Meda: What do you mean "hidden"?
  Chief Paolo: As in... I may have been planning to hold onto a few fireworks for my cousin's birthday next week.
  Alex Meda: You were stealing military-grade explosives for a birthday party?
  Chief Paolo: Hey, a boy only turns five once. The bottom line is, I have some plastic explosives that can get you into Tier-Anoch. The only problem is, they're still in my duffel bag with all my other personal affects.
  Alex Meda: Just tell me where it is.
  Chief Paolo: Okay, there's another problem... I must have been a teeny bit inebriated when I hid my bag, because for the life of me I can't remember where I put it. I haven't had much of a chance to look yet, just been trying to get over this hangover the last few hours. But I am sure it's in this sector.
  Alex Meda: You're kidding me. Don't you remember anything of where that bag might be?
  Chief Paolo: Eh, let's see... I remember having to hide the bag real quiet because the lid was heavy as hell. Oh, and for some reason the place smelled like shit. I must have been on something strong that night, cuz that's all I recall.
  Alex Meda: So I need to keep an eye out for a big box in a dirty place. Can't be too hard. Now if only there wasn't an army of bloodthirsty Mythans everywhere.