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Funny / JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: All Star Battle

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  • The matchups in PV 4 are, as follows; Father vs. Daughter, Gangster vs. Delinquent, Avenger vs. Avenger, Wind vs. Flame, Gun vs. Gun, Relarelarela vs. Rerorerorero... Mudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamuda vs. Dorararararararararararararararararararararara...
  • The sheer dissonance one can get from customizing win images and taunts. So you can get things like a winning image of Shigechi grinning happily while the text box has him ominously state he has a bad feeling, or an image of Will A. Zeppeli sneezing while offering to tell his opponent about his life story.
    • For Rohan: Taunt B (Holds pens in front of his face, looking amazed) + "Let's see how this tastes." = Rohan the Extreme Omnivore. Just As Disturbing In Context, since that quote is originally associated with a pose that has him point at his opponent.
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    • And a similar situation for Gappy: Apply his Taunt B vocal ("Delicious!") to his Taunt A animation (pointing fiercely at his enemy.) Cue Gappy pointing at them and shouting "DELICIOUS!" while grinning.
    • And a similar note for Kars: Equip his Taunt A animation with his Taunt D vocal ("Ha ha ha ha ha! You've certainly got guts!") and watch his mouth go from grinning and laughing to dropping his smile in an instant. How very HA HA HA— No. Heck, that line gives a Ha Ha Ha No vibe with every pose except its default, and even then, if you perform it with Ultimate Kars, his mouth actually animates now only to go through the same HA HA HA— No motions.
    • Another, this time for Fugo. Heartfelt voiceover and winquote congratulating his opponent for their efforts, accompanied by a win screen of an enraged Fugo shaking his fist at them and screaming at them.
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    • Zeppeli victory pose C (spitting out Hamon wine projectiles) + "Ah-choo!" = Sneezing wine projectiles.
    • Zeppeli taunt pose B (holding his arms out in a Bring It pose) + "You wouldn't happen to have a corkscrew, would ya?" = Mundane Made Awesome.
  • Baoh's expression rarely changes, which makes for some pretty amusing situations where other characters look like they're freaking out, such as when hit by Giorno's slow-mo punch, or when subjected to some Dramatic Finishes (particularly Philadelphia Coastline's). The only time where he looks relatively surprised is when he finds himself in Reimi's Alley.
  • The sheer fact that, despite being when the Universe is constantly being destroyed and/or reborn, both Funny Valentine (Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap, allowing travel through alternate universes) and Kira, who's brought Hayato with him AND can send poor Pucci back in time can be total pains in Father Pucci's ass. And it is HILARIOUS.
    • One comment sums the Kira part up.
    Pucci: We're in fucking hyperspace... WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GET THE KID??!!
  • The fact that the game says that the character is "Retired" after being knocked out, no matter what finished them off. Especially with some of the Situational Finishers like being disintegrated note , being dragged to the world of dead note  and being crushed inside a garbage trucknote .

Part 1

  • William A. Zeppeli's backwards walking animation. There are no words for how goofy it looks and sounds.
  • One of the English localisation's rather naughty-sounding lines in story mode for Part 1:
    Zeppeli drives his fist deep into Dio, hoping to blast his Hamon energy into him.
  • Zeppeli's Taunt D quote 2:
    Zeppeli: I love the sound of Overdrive in the morning!

Part 2

  • Joseph's counter taunt special. He says "Your next sentence is: <opponent's taunt>". Then the opponent is forced to taunt and his/her "taunting panel" appears, then they realize what Joseph did and their "taunting panel" is changed to their "being taunted panel".
    • Even funnier is how he literally imitates Part 3 DIO's "WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" and Valentine's "DOJYAAA~N!"
    • Made even more funny how he imitates the way Iggy chews his gum. And that the narrator has to helpfully point out that Iggy is shocked.
    • Best of all is how he imitates Baoh's "BARUBARUBARUBARUBARUBARU!", and Baoh being shocked at Joseph's correct guess... despite the fact that Baoh cannot say anything else in his battle form. And, as such, the narrator must convey Baoh's shock for us, as opposed to Baoh gasping in surprise like the other characters.
  • Speaking of Joseph, the Western release of the game does a good job of finding a way to deal with his old "Happy, joy-py, nice to meet you-py!" taunt line, by changing it to a cute little Spoonerism instead: "Damn meased to pleet ya!"
  • Also, Joseph has the fastest backwards running speed. RUN AWAY!
  • When Esidisi dies, his brain pops out of his head.
    • His counter where he starts crying. Silently when the command is input, then when hit he lets out a "HEEEEEEY!" and then whines that "IT'S NOT FAIR!". The opponent gets so shocked he gets a huge drop to his HH Gauge.
  • "Why did it have to come to this? You're tearing me APART, Lisa Lisa!" Yes, Joseph's unique victory quote against Lisa Lisa is a reference to The Room, over half a century before it was even released, and yes, it's freakin' hilarious.

Part 3

  • The fact that Hol Horse's rotten luck persists in the All Star Battle League, losing all three of his fights and being the first to suffer one of the stages' Situation Finishes.
  • Iggy's GHA. Depending on his "outfit", he either (normal) bites the opponent's nose, or (pre-Art Evolution) farts in their face.
    (Normal): Bitch please. I bite your nose, I fart at your face, I eat Tokyo Mew Mews for Breakfast, and have Wedding Peaches for Desert!
    (PAE): Bitch please. I bite your nose, I fart at your face, I wake up in the Morning, not giving a single fuck
    • An Iggy Mirror Match is hilarious. There's just something about two Boston Terriers trying to get the drop on each other.
      • Just as funny is what Giorno's HHA does against the (pre-Art Evolution) Iggy. While the normal has what would happen if you punched a dog in the face, PAE Iggy gets the silliest face where his jaw flaps out!
  • Jotaro has a taunt where he bursts out laughing. And he totally did so in the manga too. This can be so Out of Character it's hilarious for some who haven't read the manga yet.
  • Jean Pierre Polnareff was localized as... Jean Pierre Eiffel. His name is still a musical reference, although the band he's now referencing, Eiffel 65, wouldn't be formed until eight years after his first manga appearance.
  • Polnareff's bewildered reaction to each of Passione (Part 5 protagonists, sans Fugo) greeting him like they know him following by an insistence he doesn't know who they are.
  • Part 3 Joseph's Gratuitous English taunts: "OH MY GOD!", "HOLY SHIT!", and "SON OF A BITCH!" Made all the more amusing in the Japanese version when they're all spelled out in capital English letters.
  • Remember Part 2 Joseph's special ability to sprint in the opposite direction of his opponent? Part 3 Joseph sure does, and still puts that legwork to good use.
  • Avdol's HHA line translates to: "Magician's Red does not forgive you." followed by his trademark "Yes, I AM!" Was subbed overseas as "Who's the man?" which just makes his line oddly Adorkable.
  • And then there's Kakyoin's mirror match quotes.
    p2!Kakyoin: No need to say it twice.

Part 4

  • Josuke's infinite.
    • His GHA. Josuke heals his opponent to full health, then batters them so badly, they're worse off than before. Especially in the case of Johnny. Josuke's heal allows him to stand again, but the ensuing beatdown cripples him once more. Looks like the only thing worse than insulting Josuke's hair is mockingly complimenting it. Here's the link.
    • Everyone has a different reaction to his pompadour hairstyle.
      • Jonathan: he wonders if he can hit that hairstyle with a ripple attack!
      Jonathan: What would my Hamon do to that crazy hair of yours?
      • William A. Zeppeli: Wonders if he's hiding something in his hair.
      Will A. Zeppeli: That's the strangest head I have ever seen! What secrets doth it hold, I wonder?
      • Part 2 Joseph: Claims that Josuke's hair makes his head look big. Particularly funny when you consider they're father and son.
      Joseph: Your hair makes your head look stupid huge, bro!
      • Polnareff: Offers to give Josuke a haircut.
      Polnareff: Shall I trim your hair into something less like cro-magnon, man?
      • Hol Horse: Offers Josuke a hat to cover his pomp.
      Hol Horse: I can lend you a hat if you wanna cover that disaster up!
      • Iggy: being a dog, he insults it, and Josuke SOMEHOW knows he's mocking him!
      Iggy: I'm gonna tear out your hair and fart in your face!
      • Pt. 3 Joseph: he snickers that Josuke's parents must be ashamed of how he styles his hair. Joseph is Josuke's biological father!
      • DIO: he proclaims Josuke's hair looks like cowshit.
      DIO: Your hair's like a pile of cow dung by the side of the road.
      Josuke: Your hair... is not GREAT./Hey, great haircut... NOT.
      Josuke: What the fuck did you say about my hair?!
      • Okuyasu: calls out said pomp as "old". ESPECIALLY in the localisation:
      Okuyasu: Nice haircut! Welcome to like, twenty years ago!
      Giorno: My hair obviously puts yours to shame!
      • Mista: Well...
      Mista: I love your hair! It makes you look like a clown!
      • Jolyne: Her localisation line:
      Johnny: I love your hair! It's the craziest stuff I've ever seen!
      • Gyro: Professes his desire to stomp all over Josuke's pomp.
      Gyro: Your name must be whack-a-mole, because I wanna stomp your silly looking head down!
      Valentine: The first thing I'm going to do in office is outlaw that ridiculous hairstyle!
      Narrator: Baoh has detected the scent of his foe's hairstyle... And he doesn't like it one bit!
  • The last part of Okuyasu's Great Heat Attack. After a painful beatdown with The Hand, Okuyasu gives his opponent a badass glare and a smirk... then a flowerpot comes out of nowhere and whacks him in the face.
  • The All Star Battle League's Final 4: Jotaro Kujo, Dio Brando, Caesar Zeppeli, and... Koichi Hirose. Well, one of those contestants doesn't seem to fit.
  • The localized Story Mode gives us this line: Okuyasu takes Rohan from behind, warning him not to make a move.
  • The Western localization changes Kosaku-Kira's taunt line "I, Yoshikage Kira, have luck on my side!" to the strangely Adorkable "Everything's coming up Kira!"
  • Another Okuyasu gem: His line against Josuke in Story mode when they first meet ("Josuke Higashikata, I, Okuyasu Nijimura, will destroy you with The Hand!") is translated in the localised version as the almost ridiculously hilarious "Josuke Higashikata, you better get ready to talk to the HAND!"
    • Localised!Okuyasu is a goldmine:
    Okuyasu Victory D: I'll take anything you got! Unless it's the clap.
  • Kira's death cry is to scream "NAAAAANNNNNIIII???!!!!" as loud and as long as he can.
    • If he wins against "future self" Kosaku, he'll be annoyed that "Kosaku" is stealing his gimmick.
    Kira: I'll be the one who drops bombs around here, thanks.

Part 5

  • Giorno's HHA when done on Polnareff: His tongue shoots out and stretches up to his right ear! (Which totally happened in the manga, too.)
  • If Fugo wins a round without ending the match, Purple Haze will sometimes do a silly dance while chuckling.
  • Mista, Narancia, and Fugo now have taunts where they break out dancing. The same dance they forced poor Mario Zucchero to watch.
  • Now, we all know that most of the Stands in the game had to be renamed for the English version because copyright law in Japan is radically different than the rest of the world. But Part 5 got hit particularly bad. Sticky Fingers, just to name one, is now Zipper Man. And the best part is that this was apparently Araki's idea.
  • Should two Stands clash, we get an awesome Quick Time Event where the two try to over power each other. Except in Mista's case, where Sex Pistols is too small to go toe-to-toe with the on average human-sized Stands most of the other combatants wield so he instead smashes his regular, human knee into the Stand's fist and then furiously unloads his gun into them. Crosses over with Moment of Awesome.

Part 6

  • In the Western localization, Jolyne's Heart Heat Attack quote is changed from "How many throws (of the ball) can I do in a row? A thousand!" to "How deep can I hit? Balls deep!"
  • Ermes: "Come at me, bro!"

Part 7

  • The fact that Johnny can still say his "I don't feel like dismounting today." taunt when he's not even on his horse.
  • The mostly serious Valentine prefacing his HHA with his comically adorable "DOJYAAA~N" line and a shrug.
  • Valentine's GHA is localized from "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap" to "Filthy Acts, at a Reasonable Price."
    • To add to that, it's clear the localisation team was frustrated about not being able to use the original full name or were knowingly teasing fans who did know the full name, by translating Valentine's generic opening line to "Time to perform some nasty acts at a fair and reasonable price!" Even better is this borderline Mori-esque line in the Jojo Glossary page for D4C:
    No one knows what this mysterious abbreviation means.
    • The best part is that, since the game's soundtrack was untouched, you can hear Valentine say "Dirty deeds done dirt cheap". In English.
  • Another localisation gem: One sentence in SBR's story is written as thus: "Touching Gyro's weapons miraculously grants Johnny the ability to feel movement in his legs again." Look, game, call them what you want but you're not fooling anybody.
  • Pizza Mozzarella, Pizza Mozzarella..."
  • Funny Valentine's localised mirror match dialogue isn't that bad.
    Funny Valentine: Get ready for amber waves of pain!
    Funny Valentine: Hi, me. Meet the real me!

Part 8

  • The fact that, in the game's exclusive story, Jonathan reacts to Jo2uke's perfectly normal question of "Who are you?" with "I don't give my name to scum like you!!" Geez, the hell's your damage, Jonathan? (In the Japanese version, he mistakes him for one of Dio's zombies, a detail the localisation missed out.) In fact, there's something hilarious about every protagonist going hostile on poor Gappy at first sight, but Jonathan's uncharacteristically brutish response is probably the funniest.


  • The tense and threatening "Eccentric Blaze King Esidisi" (the named character's theme) is mostly synthesizer, except for the one guitar part in the center. And what's the guitar playing? "Back in Black", of course!
    • Perhaps even better is that it opens with the same opening guitar riff from "Thunderstruck"
  • Stephen Steel is the "host" for the Campaign mode. Choose to leave it and he goes a little... overboard.
  • Someone hacked the game to let other characters put on the Stone Mask and ascend. Which has the side effects of making them scream random things, altering their models to fit Kars' proportions - Iggy in particular is reminiscent of Pikaman/Longchu/Ganonchu, and Valentine's hair has to be seen to be believed - and often Vocal Dissonance, as Kars' "celebrate my new birth" voice line is unchanged.

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