Funny / JoJo's Bizarre Summer Break

With the story hitting Jorge Joestar levels of craziness, expect lots of funny moments in both Dio's Bizzare Adventure and Jojo's Bizarre Summer Break. Sit back and grab some popcorn since this is gonna be a long list.

Due to the nature of the work, all spoilers are UNMARKED.

Dio's Bizarre Adventure

• Chapter 1 sets off the tone of the story as it introduces our protagonist Dio going down the chariot to meet his new foster family. He is greeted by Jonathan Joestar, who is twice his height and Danny, who is a flaming hellhound.
  Dio: "Hey. He's burning."
  Jonathan: "Don’t worry, he never bites people!"
  Dio: "He's burning you know? Your beloved dog?"
• Then Erina comes in, suddenly steals his first kiss and proudly proclaims it to Jonathan, who proceeded to beat Dio senseless anyway. George stops the fight, and it's revealed that he's wearing a Sailor Moon outfit. Dio doesn't know what to make of the situation.
  Erina: "Jojo... Have you ever kissed me? You haven't, have you? My first kiss wasn't with Jojo! It was with Dio!"
  • And at the end, Dio was able to reach his step-brother's height after seven years only to reveal that Erina has far outgrown them all.
• Chapter 2 has Jonathan trying to introduce Dio to his Hamon master Will Zeppeli, while Dio tries to run away from him thanks to his past experiences with Jonathan's other acquaintances. Jonathan gives him a zoom punch for his troubles.
  Dio: "'Why are you running away' you ask? Of your acquaintances... Not a single one of them is decent Jojo!"
  • Before that Dio recounts his meeting with Speedwagon, who immediately kicks a chandelier to his face.
• Turns out Zeppeli can only speak "Pa Pow" and Jonathan has to translate for him. Zeppeli explains what how Hamon can be useful and Dio is impressed. Zepelli then crushes his arm and punches him with his pinky to demonstrate his skills in Hamon which, unfortunately for Dio, doesn't work for him for some reason. His arm has to be placed in a cast for 3 months. Dio is not amused and refuses to learn anymore.
  Dio: "I don't want to stop being human Jojo! I don't intend to transcend humanity!"
• Jonathan mocks Dio's sense of fashion in chapter 3.
  Jonathan: "Ow, What hurts? your sense of fashion?"
• So Dio is rummaging through Jonathan's desk and finds the stone mask. Sane people would leave it alone but Dio, who cut his finger panels before, curiously put on the mask. He accidentally turns himself to a vampire.
  Jonathan: "Wh-Wh-What do I do? Dio has turned into a vampire! Wow he can stick to the ceiling. He's like a Japanese ninja!"
• So Dio kicks Danny to Jonathan's face, burning his clothes and the mansion in the process. He proceeds to strip himself naked.
• So Dio wakes up stabbed in the gut, the mansion is burning and his father dead. Jonathan recounts how everything happened: Dio is out of his mind and keeps trying to kill Jonathan. Jonathan, the gentleman he is, hesitates to kill his step-brother. But the sight of his father wearing his pocket-watch like a loincloth snapped something inside the well-mannered gentleman, killing him in a fit of rage. He proceeds to carry Dio out of the burning mansion by stabbing him with the statue and carrying both outside. Even Dio doesn't know how to react when he's told of this.
  Jonathan: I kinda... How to put it... Lost it? My Mind? Anyway all of a sudden there was this *sharp stab* sound and I think I probably stabbed dad in a fatal spot.
• Chapter 6 has Jonathan wracking his brain for a thesis subject while ignoring Dio pointing out the weird stuff happening around him. His way of choosing? Shouting Dio's name like he's having a tantrum which Dio dubs as "Dio-Telling". And the subjects he chose are Bruford and Tarkus, which he excitedly narrates to Dio while the latter just wants to go home.
  • Dio has to use a parasol whenever he walks out in the daylight.
• Chapter 7 reveals that Jonathan developed an Irrational Hatred towards his father for wearing his pocketwatch. Canon!Dio would be so proud of Jonathan.
  Jonathan: "As if that piece of trash has any honor at all! Dont you dare speak to me of that name again..."
• Jonathan and Dio takes a shortcut to the Wind Knight's lot, which is a tall cliff. Dio's understandably hesitant even with his vampire powers. Dio reaches the top by walking up the cliff. Jonathan falls and pretty much reenacts the scene where he's falling in the manga, complete with iron spear, only for the part of the cliff he's holding fall off anyway.
  Jonathan: "Goodbye Diooooooo!"
  Dio: "What... Really..."
  • How does he save himself? He whips out his belt and uses it to catch Dio's foot who's barely clinging on the top of the cliff. Poor Dio has to drag both of them out and is a mess after everything.
• Dio can't contain his curiosity and keeps dragging himself into trouble, like being caught in the trap that pulls them to the room of dragon decapitation. Jonathan can free himself and poor Dio has to beg just to be let go. Not learning his lesson, he makes that mistake again when he accidentally revived Tarkus and Bruford.
• Thunder Cross Split attack has no weakness! except when the user can't do it.
  Jonathan: "Flawless in offense and defence! No one has ever defeated this incredible killing technique..."
  *Cut to Dire splitting in midair*
  Jonathan:I really can't do it. That technique... All it has is a cool name"
• A bit of Black Comedy here, but Jonathan being overdramatic after Bruford beheaded him.
  Jonathan: "Ahh, I'm in such a sad state. I'll die drenched in tears... But anyone who saw my corpse wouldn't cry. At most they'd sigh, huh"
• Bruford's honorable death was Played for Laughs here. He reenacts his death scene alone with after seeing Jonathan's head, even with the flowers. Speedwagon thinks he's gross.
• Chapter 12 skips what happened in chapter 11 and heads straight to Jonathan and Dio rushing the latter's thesis. It's revealed that Jonathan dilly-dallied on his thesis after their battle and the end result is them rushing it one day before the deadline. Jonathan keeps making mistakes like writing Bruford's sword name as Pluck and gets so stressed that he mishears Dio's question
  Dio: "What's the minimum number of pages your department requires you to write?"
  Jonathan: "What was that? How many breads have you eaten in your life?".
  • Then he has to run all the way even if there are only 15 minutes left before deadline.
    Speedwagon: "Will he make it?"
    Dio: ... And Jojo can run 100km/h when he's at his best so it's fine. He has plenty of time"
• After Jonathan comes back in that mansion in chapter 13, Dio is very hesitant in telling him what really happened after Tarkus' fight. After Jonathan 'persuades' him to cut the crap, it's revealed that Dio actually has Jonathan's body. When the implications dawned to him, Jonathan didn't take it well (For those who don't know, Dio gave Jonathan George's body).
  Jonathan: "Dio... I just had the most terrifying thought..."
  Dio: "It's okay Jojo! That body is 195 cm tall and 105 kg! Nothing has changed! You're just like you were before!"
• His actual freak out is not shown but it's implied that he's so crazed that everyone have to be evacuated around the mansion. He even says that he's never gonna forgive Dio for that, even injuring himself just to keep from killing him even though Dio has nothing to do with it.
• Dio's graduation speech: "Jojo's heart may be small, but I want to become a man with big aspirations."
• Jonathan and Dio fight like children on Jonathan's wedding party in the boat. Both do petty tricks that irritate the other until they just snap and have a fist fight. Both wrecks the whole place only to run back and abandon ship when Wang Chan sets the ship to explode.
• It take Dire 4 chapters to execute his Thunder Cross Split attack.
• Why is there a coffin in the boat? Jonathan plans to prank Dio with this. It comes in handy in saving their lives.

Jojo's Bizarre Summer Break

• Jotaro Kujo is introduced as a bratty shut-in who doesn't want to go out of his house. That is until Joseph, who is wearing his Tequila disguise, visits him. He agrees quickly on one condition:
  Jotaro: "Sure, as long as you change out of those clothes, Grandpa."
• Joseph forgot to introduce Avdol, which leaves him awkwardly hanging out with the others in their journey.
• Kakyoin declines to join Jotaro invitation since he already visited Egypt a few months ago. Jotaro is very insistent and drags him along anyway. Kakyoin compares him to a hero who always insist on getting his way.
  Joseph: "Hmmm... Is that your friend hanging off your shoulder there? He looks pretty out of it. Is he okay?"
  Jotaro: "No problem. Step on it. We gotta be on the road before he wakes up."
• Kakyoin asks Jotaro what his beef with Dio is and he refuses to answer. He tells him anyway.
  • The reason why Jotaro is pissed at Dio? Dio promised to visit him again, but didnt for almost 10 years.
  Jotaro: It's been like ten years since then. That stupid Dio hasn't come to Japan at all! "Real soon"? Yeah fucking right! Lying bastard!"
• And before that, Jotaro is shown to be a bratty kid to his Uncle Dio and insist that they fly higher even if they have reached a transmission tower and Dio is asking permission to drop down.
• Joseph still is very unlucky with plane rides...
  Joseph: Out of the 299 flights I've ridden, 299 of them have crashed. But I think we'll be fine."
  • And complications that has nothing to do with the crusaders added another one in that list.
• There's a stag beetle (Gray Fly) flying around on the airplane. Jotaro wants to catch it and the others panic since he will bust a hole on the plane. Kakyoin just calmly knock him out from behind and declares that his stand is suited to knock him out, when he just knocked him out with a chop in the neck.
• Polnareff is wickedly posing while taking pictures, which is how the others realized that he is a stand user. He then uses his stand to go up in the sky flat on his back and disappear in the sky. Avdol is not amused when Polnareff accidentally lands on him
  Avdol: "My stand Magician's Red has the power to control flames, But I imagine it would be painful to burn to death. Use that knife to kill yourself."
• Jonathan and DIO never took a long time to realize that the stone mask was replaced with a stuipid looking plastic mask.
• Joseph offers Kakyion his dress when he remarks that he doesn't have any clothes to change with since he was suddenly dragged with them. Meanwhile Jotaro lost himself to the ocean and accidentally fell of the ship.
• Anne saves Jotaro from drowning. He awkwardly tries to cover up his mistake, nobody believes him and Joseph rubs salt to the wound by giving him his dress to change with.
• Thanks to an out-of-control crane, an orangutan (Forever) escaped its cage. Jotaro ignored it after remembering his grandfather's warnings. It's killed by Anne when it tried to peek in the shower.
• Devo the Cursed tried to ambush Polnareff and co. Polnareff just taped the fridge and chucked it in the ocean. And he has to clean up the toilets to pay for it.
• Joseph uses his Hermit Purple like Skype to get in touch with DIO.
• Avdol is revealed to be knowledgeable in Japanese culture.
• DIO asks Vanilla Ice a little blood to test out the mask. Vanilla Ice proceeds to cut off his head. Don't worry, he gets better.
  DIO: "GYAAA! I don't need that much!"
• Jotaro demands that Kakyoin do something funny. After failing to impress him with his cherry trick and origami, he tells a scary story instead. It's revealed that Jotaro easily gets scared and gets freaked out by Kakyoin's doppelganger story. And boy did he get freaked out when he thought he saw his Joseph wearing his clothes.
• Jotaro sings the opening theme for 'Bakushishi Man'^note It's the phrase the mob of beggars says to them in India
• Polnareff and Hol Horse has a Mexican Standoff in the ladies room. Both also laugh like idiots after making pistol puns with Avdol looking at them like they belong in the loony bin. It ends with Hol Horse getting pushed by a rampaging elephant.
• Avdol is hit by a speech bubble in the head after Jotaro called him "ugly" one too many times. Polnareff doesn't help matters.
  Avdol: "Polnareff you dunce! You have no right in criticizing my head!"
• Nena gives Joseph a gift as a gesture of appreciation. The toy proceeds to punch him in the face and cover him and Polnareff in tar.
• Jotaro want to play sumo and almost beats up innocent customers when Kakyoin refuses to play, forcing the latter to play anyway. Jotaro proceeds to insult ZZ, who gets so mad that he chases Jotaro, Kakyoin and Avdol like a looney toon character.
• Anne uses an Indian nude photo to make ZZ stop in his tracks. He faints after seeing the photo.
• After reserving seats for a ride, Jotaro writes down everyone's names save for Avdol which he just drew a doodle of his face. And everyone's name has Q's replacing some characters in their names like Qtaro and Joseph Qstar. Polnareff proceeds to redo everything.
• Steely Dan is posing as a Kebab seller and proceeds to use himself as a bridge with Jotaro standing on him when he insists he's not. After telling why he's down, Jotaro proceeds to give him a beatdown with Star Platinum and fanboys out saying he can't wait for 'Lovers 2'. Dan gives him an autograph as thanks.
• Polnareff thinks that Kakyoin's lost if after a baby appeared in his lap and only Kakyoin can see him. And when he recounts it to Jotaro, Star Platinum shows his real emotions even after he insists its fine.
• Turns out that Joseph's curse doesn't end with real planes only, as their plane ride in the amusement park also went down in flames.
• While the group riding a submarine, High Priestess falls in love with Jotaro and swallows the ride. Everyone panics, with Middler crushing her teeth and Kakyoin making too many coffee drinks.
• Jotaro reveals that he knows Oceanese and proceeds to awkwardly flirt with the High Priestess, who spits out their ride.
• Dio learns that the group visits an amusement park via Mariah's Website/Twitter account.
• When everyone finally meets DIO, Iggy proceeds to chew out Joseph's hair leaving him bald. Though it regrows quickly after a brief Mexican Standoff with DIO. Polnareff is then Iggy's second target.
• Jotaro was separated from the group after he just turned his head away from them. He's found by Oingo and Boingo, with Oingo revealed that he's an Identical Stranger to Jotaro. Jotaro's freaked out after thinking of Kakyoin's story
• N'Doul is a massive troll, tricking the group that he knows where Jotaro is and asking to play ring toss. Then he throws Iggy to poor Jotaro to prevent him from stepping to a bomb. Jotaro only survived the collision thanks to his Hard Head. In a Funny Background Event, Kakyoin's eyes got hit by sand and N'doul washes it off with his stand.
• The group reunites with the others watching Jotaro duking it out with a dog.
• So Jotaro and Dio finally meet, with Dio on top of the stairs. Jotaro excitedly runs up only to trip and roll back downstairs. Kakyoin asks what happened since he just came back and Polnareff replies with this gem:
  Polnareff: "I'll tell you exactly how it went down. I thought Jotaro was climbing up the stairs, but he went down instead!"
• Before entering the mansion, Dio warns Joseph not to crossdress and shows what happens to those who break the rules. After that Telence greets the group by sliding on the floor. Meanwhile Jotaro falls down on a hole made by Vanilla Ice.
• It's revealed that Vanilla Ice has put so many holes in the mansion that it looks like swiss cheese inside.
• Joseph and Avdol go outside to remove his Tequila outfit, only to be caught in a risque position by Mariah who proceeds to take a pic of them and plans to upload it to Twitter.
• Chapter 53 is basically and abridged version of the chapter of Anubis with how quickly it happens.
  Chaka/Khan: "Gyah! This is Anubis!"
• After that, Polnareff gets possessed by Khan just handing him the sword and proceeds to fight Jotaro. Jotaro catches the sword and has to stop moving for hours since he promised Polnareff he won't destroy anything.
• Iggy and Anubis face each other in a Mexican Standoff. Iggy wins.
• Joseph and Avdol chase down Mariah and everyone who sees Joseph calls him a pervert. Joseph doesn't help his case as he proceed to rip out his clothes leaving him naked in the middle of the street. He uses his hamon to cover himself up with metallic objects. Joseph proceeds to charm her into deleting the picture, leaving Avdol not very amused with the insanity.
• Kakyoin sees Jotaro and Polnareff reflected as children in Alessi's mirror:
  Kakyoin: "Is this mirror reflecting their mental ages?"
• After the frightening encounter with Alessi, Kakyoin proceeds to repeat the trip twice with Jotaro and Polnareff, leaving the other two so scared that they're Laughing Mad. Iggy's makikng the same face to mock them.
• Boingo dreams of disfiguring his brother's handsome face one day. Hol Horse is understandably freaked out when he heard it. Before that, Hol Horse encounters him drawing his manga which is full of creepy figures and tries to give a compliment on it.
• Daniel D'Arby introduces his to Jotaro and co. and challenges him with a bet. Jotaro proceeds to wager his soul in order to pet his cat.
  Jotaro: "I want to pet the cat! I bet my soul for it!!!"
• Pet shop admires Iggy very much and follow him anywhere. Iggy wants none of it and is not amused when Pet Shop tries to show him his Bruce Lee impersonation
• Jotaro wins the bet, and loses his soul thanks to the cat's affection anyways.
• Joseph finds out that Straizo is the culprit they are looking for. Dio asks him why is he naked inside the mansion.
• Daniel D'arby accompanies Joseph to the cafe since Avdol is very near his Rage Breaking Point.
  Avdol: "D'arby, you are a cool-headed person. You use calculated action instead of relying on brute force. You truly are a strong person. As for me, I can't remain calm and get easily fired up. So the next time Mr. Joestar strips naked, I'll probably burn him to death."
• Joseph, whose hobby is crossdressing and who walked around naked in daylight, calls Straizo a filthy old geezer for shutting up a woman who wont stop screaming.
  Joseph: "Bastard! I bey your next line will be "If you don't Ill kiss you with my tongue!" right!?"
  Narrator: "Unjust suspicion"
  Joseph: "How dare you make a move on a young lady you filthy old geezer!"
  *shows him wearing a scrunchie*
  Narrator: "Look who's talking."
• Joseph's and Straizo's fight might be the time the comic finally gets serious, but it's also chockful of funny moments like Old Joseph hitting himself with his clackers and Straizo using Joseph's grenade trick.
• Jotaro sneaks in Dio's room and reads his diary with the help of Vanilla Ice. After that he tries to surprise him only for Dio to use the world to thwart that. Though he uses this later against Jonathan by threatening to reveal Dio's meals.
• Jotaro stops his own heart to try to prank Dio after that failed. All it does is allow Kakyoin to drag his almost dead body to the airport. The two have a fight where Kakyoin gives the other a back-breaker and the [[Art Shift art slightly shifts to the Heritage of the Future artstyle."
• Everyone is split up by Straizo's underlings and has to fight for their lives. Amusingly, Dio has to deal with The Sun, which is his biggest weakness. Avdol, Iggy and Vanilla Ice has to work together which is funny considering what happened in canon. Meanwhile Polnareff just finished doing his business in the bathroom and was surprised at the turn of events.
• Avdol finally reaches his Rage Breaking Point thanks to Kenny G.
  *text on the wall*: When you see these scribbles, turn back and you are-"
  Avdol: "What the. When I turn back there's nothing.."
  *text on the wall*: an idiot (lol).
  Avdol: "How Annoying!"
  • Amusingly, Vanilla Ice had the same reaction a few chapters later after Kenny G appeared to escape.
  Vanilla Ice: "How Annoying!"
  • In order to get back at him. Avdol remarks that Kenny G looks might be an alien that's why he had a hard time locating him. But it's only a ruse to let Vanilla Ice sneak up on him.
• Jotaro basically hijacks Senator Phillips' car in order to make it back to the Joestar Mansion. The two then have a Ham-to-Ham Combat wherein they pretty much screams the Navy Seal Copypasta to each other. Jotaro drives like a maniac so much that when he crashed the car he unknowingly activated the Joestar curse, which is all automobile cars that he is on will crash for no reason.
  • Later, he proceeds to throw the senator's body to Arabia Fats in order to knock him out. He then drenches Dio in gasoline in trying to cool him.
• Dio is pretty much useless in his fight with The Sun, especially since he can't do anything on it. He even thinks of the same choices as Polnareff in the manga and goes to a Corner of Woe when he thinks that it's futile.
• Kakyoin accidentally encounters Straizo who figures out that he's a part of the group thanks to Joseph's scent rubbing off him. Kakyoin proceeds to feign ignorance and act like a coward, even screaming that he's dragged there against his will.
  Kakyoin "So you really are Straizo... when will you fight me? I hereby surrender myself."
  *Narration Box* "Kak-you ain't getting me into this mess-in"
• Chapter 89 shows how Kakyoin and Jotaro became friends, where he first sees Jotaro acting like a child and trip himself over the stairs.
• Kakyoin can be very brutal in snarking his dearest friend Jotaro in his flashback:
  Kakyoin:"I drew some shit as well"
  *Shows his drawing of Jotaro*
  Jotaro: "...Hey you. Isn't that me?"
  Kakyoin: "No, it's a shit"
  Jotaro: "You're saying that I'm a shit to you?"
• After their fight and him giving a last ditch effort to stop him, Kakyoin turns his dying message from the manga into a petty grudge against Joseph.
  Kakyoin: "Before I lose consciousness, I shall leave a message to Mr. Joestar just in case. Because of your smell getting to me, Straizo got me done for. This message... Mr. Joestar... Please notice it... Please let it be known... my Grudge to you...
• Joseph is revived thanks to Ceasar's help and proceeds to prank him by pretending to be taken over by Straizo. He answers all the questions correctly, but Caesar punches him in the face anyway and accidentally knocks him out making him miss all the action.
• Dio just cant help his curiosity and finds Straizo as a result. Straizo tries to hit him with a flesh bud but Dio skillfully dodges only to reveal Jotaro following him from behind. It hit's Jotaro's head, but bounces back to the back of Dio's head, turning him into a rampaging psychopathic maniac. Or in other words, just Canon!Dio
  Dio: "Wryyyyy! I bloody hate dogs!"

GioGio's Bizarre Treasure Hunt

• Once again, Abbachio tries to trick Giorno into drinking his urine. It bites him in the ass, though, when Giorno tells Bucciarati that Abbachio pissed himself.
• The Running Gag of Giorno's creatures being comically oversized. It's even how he got hired!
• Narancia getting blown away by a gust of wind after getting shrunk. Especially because it's clear Formaggio didn't think that that would happen.
• When Fugo got apprehended by Man in the Mirror, the only thing he can think about of is how fuzzy Illuso's hair is.
  • Illuso being absolutely fine with Fugo almost killing him with Purple Haze.
• Pesci trying to stop Prosciutto from entering the train to check on Buccellati gang out of impulse. This leads to Bruno and Mista pushing Giorno into the railcar, activating the curse.
  Giorno: (double facepalming) "Just one step in and it's already over. This train's fate has been decided."
• When Melone realized that Giorno (or rather, HARUNO) is sitting beside him, he jumps to the wall and clings for his life.
• When Diavolo finally meets Doppio in his dream, his first instinct is to karate chop him. He woke up before he could land the hit.
• Instead of being chased by Ghiaccio, Giorno and Mista are following him instead. Ghiaccio then tripped and fall face first to the road.
  Mista: "OOF!! He totally went and kissed "Miss Pavement" there! With that speed, it's gotta be a hot damn passionate kiss!"
• When the duo jump into the canal to save Ghiaccio, Giorno gets trapped in the ice he made.
  Giorno: "Kh...! My body is freezing and I can't move! At this rate, I'm going to turn into a magnificent ice statue like Michelangelo's David!"
  Mista: "What!? I can't hear you well! What's this about jello, again!?"
• Jotaro's reason to find Giorno? So he can fulfill his list of rare creatures he want to catch.
  • He initially wanted to send Koichi to help, but his 'elite guards' Rohan and Yukako kept shoving him away from him.
• There are a lot of number 4's scattered in chapter 44. By the time the chapter ends, Mista's soul has already left his body.
• In chapter 49, after Bruno was impaled by what seems to be his own stand, it cuts to the rest of the gang destroying the church's walls with all kinds of tools to find the next hint, since Bruno isn't there to use Sticky Fingers.