Episode 1: Starfall
- After briefly introducing the party, Kit points out that they don't have a great composition and that everyone's going to die, then backtracks because she is very invested in not killing her mom's D&D character.
- The fact that the first thing Maq mentions about Cacophony is her giant bosom is a clear indicator of both their characters.
Kit: Some time today, Mackenzie!
- Maq's entire character description, which includes a very deep-cut tunic, blue hair that changes colour in the light (and might be a cantrip), eyes that change colour, a cape, and a flair for being slightly-dramatic.
- When Alana asks where she could hire mercenaries to help find the remains of the falling stars, Cacophony eagerly declares herself, Aelfgifu, and Jylliana to be the best party around. Jylliana's comment? "Eehh..."
- Cacophony stating that she isn't shopping for supplies because she donated all her money is met with immediate doubt. When asked who she donated to, she gives the appropriately vague response "the poor".Jylliana: The poor?
Jylliana: The poor.
Cacophony: Uh-huh. I've kept exactly twenty gold for myself.
Jylliana: Y'know—you know what institution is great about distributing things to the poor?
Cacophony: I will give exactly five to the temple of Ethla.
Cacophony: Because of the guilt trip I will leave thirty-five more.
Jylliana: Ethla thanks you for your patronage.
- Cacophony dramatically spins to gesture towards the horizon in slow-motion. Everyone else moves at normal speed.
- While buying supplies.Aelfgifu: Jylliana, are you also buying any [healing potions] or are you good with healing spells?
Jylliana: I am the healing potion.
- During the spider fight, Jylliana has a bit of a breakdown.Jylliana: Leave the convent, they said. Go to Stormhaven, they said. Travel the world, they said.
Kit: Silence falls over the battlefield save for Jylliana's angry muttering.
Jylliana: Nobody ever said anything about the giant spiders. You can't convert the giant spiders! You just have to deal with them!
Cacophony: Jylliana my darling?
Cacophony: Do you know why spiders are like toy tops?
Jylliana: Because they never go away? I don't know what we're doing here.
Cacophony: Because they're always spinning, my dear.
Jylliana: *beat* Why did you give me the mental image of spiders again.
Cacophony: I just felt like the moment was there.
Jylliana: Was it?
Cacophony: It was, I do believe it was.
- Followed by Jylliana casting Cure Wounds on Cacophony through the finger she's using to shush her.
- Kit states that the party follows Alana onto the ship. Maq corrects her, saying that Cacophony prances.
Episode 2: The Kestrel
- After Cacophony and Alana discover the ship's captain dead, Cacophony is at a loss to do.Maq: I mostly get up there, look very serious, and flounce around uselessly.
Vicki: I'm having trouble holding "serious" and "flouncing" in my head at the same time.
Maq: It's Cacophony, so flouncing is about as serious as she can get.
- Jylliana shrieks when she finds the body.Aelfgifu: Look at it this way, he's not a spider.
Jylliana: *beat* This is an improvement on my day.
- Maq starts singing "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" while rolling her dice, then continues to sing while Kit tries to set the scene until Annie snaps at her. Then Maq defends herself by claiming it's "Wake Me Up Before the Spiders Show-ow".
- After Jylliana disintegrates her attacker with Wrath of the Storm, the only Post-Mortem One-Liner she can muster is "It is TOO! EARLY!"
Episode 3: Deathspider
- The episode begins immediately after Jylliana yells at the bandits, with everyone trying to calm her down and give her some water for her sore throat. Then she takes a nap, in-character because she's exhausted, out-of-character because Annie wants her spell slots back.Kit: You have successfully intimidated the dudes.
Vicki: Goodbye, dudes!
- After Aelfgifu states that she wants to learn how to deal with the typical person (having been raised mostly on her own in the woods her life), Cacophony replies that at least she can hang out with her.Aelfgifu: Would you say you're fairly typical?
Cacophony: I would say I am fairly atypical. I would say most consider me more annoying than others.
Jylliana: At least she's self-aware.
Cacophony: So you are at least breaching the gauntlet with me here. After me, everybody else will feel very...simple and congenial.
- Trying to fight a harpy.Cacophony: Well, I can start singing and attract its attention. Harpies like singing!
Jylliana: Yes, and you like attention. Great plan.
- The main party doesn't have a name for Alana's gun, so they've taken to calling it "the boom-boom stick".
- After Alana finally calls it a "gun", the other three spend a good three minutes pronouncing the word oddly and trying to wrap their heads around it.
- The girls discover the ship that attacked the Kestrel...and it's shaped like a giant spider. And so are the neogi that crew it. Jylliana promptly loses it. Then Aelfgifu asks if Cacophony can cast a spell to disguise all spiders as something else, but Cacophony can only disguise herself.Jylliana: Then don't turn yourself into a spider. For my sake.
- Cacophony strategizing against the newborn neogi: "I assume babies are not wise".
- After Annie starts bemoaning the amount of spider-ness in their current setting.Kit: I'm setting the scene, Annie! It's the theatre of the mind, Annie!
- Around this point Jylliana, who had been whispering prayers to her goddess earlier, expands to muttering the entire holy book of Ethla to keep from going completely over the edge.
- The last line of the episode after Kit describes the Kestrel returning to Wildspace with the party on board is Jylliana's weak and concerned "aw, fuck".
Episode 4: Into the Void
- Maq describes Cacophony's mourning outfit, which is shockingly subdued (black cloak, mostly black other clothing, and the only glitter on it is on the epaulets). Then Annie points out that she's essentially dressed as General Gothic Lolita.
- "There is no way to accurately show a bunk bed in 2D space."
- Kit losing track of where all the characters are.Kit: Jake* , if you could edit this so I don't sound like a bad GM, that'd be great!
- Jylliana successfully remembers some Sign Language in order to try and communicate with Finn, the deaf cook. His response? "Your accent is terrible."
- Jylliana tries to get some context for being in space from the ward room, but the only literature she can find are trashy space-tabloid magazines.
Jylliana: This looks like a fat man in a tuxedo wearing a plague-doctor mask.
- As she looks through the fashion photos, she finds what Kit describes as "a picture of penguins with the same context as Prince Harry getting engaged". At which point they realize Jylliana may not know what penguins are. She fails an intelligence roll to know and has to figure out what the picture is with absolutely no context.
- The Stinger is Maq spontaneously singing "One Week" by Barenaked Ladies, apparently just so Jake has something to put at the end.
Episode 5: Ghost Ship
- All three players squeeing when they see that Mr. Hurst is represented on Roll 20 by an adorable piggy bank.
- When Kit confirms that the party is on the ships deck, Vicki asks how theyre breathing.Kit: Good question. Spelljammer!
- Cacophony casts Dissonent Whispers on the undead wizard, and claims that the song he hears in his head is "Down, Down, to Goblin Town". Kit then announces that they're being sued by Rankin Bass.
- When she uses it a second time, they hear "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life".
- When Cacophony uses Mantle of Inspiration, Maq describes it as a bishonen getting sakura blossoms raining down around them. Annie snaps at the incorrect pronunciation (it's sakura) and asks if this is Cardcaptors now. Maq says yes.
Episode 6: Port Meridian
- Alana explains that the rings the girls get should probably teleport them back to the ship if theyre about to die while on shore leave. Emphasis on "probably".
- Jylliana's first line is to ask if docking procedures normally take eight weeks.
- After Maq spends another inordinate amount of time describing Cacophony's outfit, Vicki states that the eight-week delay mustve been for Cacophony to change.
- According to Cacophony, the proper thing to do once docking is to find a pub and look for a girl named Brandy. And tell her she might be a fine girl, but your life, your lover, your lady...is space sea.
- The fact that Rio's guest character is a Dohwar, aka a business-penguin in a Hawaiian shirt.
- Instead of shooing off the muggers, Cacophony asks if Grak has recently been married. This distracts the business-penguin, and they get socked in the face.
- Jylliana tries to order Chowder in a bread bowl, then has to describe what a bread bowl is. She gets a bowl of chowder with a chunk of bread floating in the middle. She declares it close enough.
- When Jylliana asks if Grak's gem for their lady-love is a business or romance transaction, Grak asks why it can't be a business-romance.
- Followed by Annie saying...
- The episode ends with the party realizing they could help Grak recover their stolen gem.Jylliana: Maybe you could hire us to find it...
Cacophony: We'll do it for free!
Episode 7: The Vault
- Right off the bat:Aelfgifu: You just introduced me to this thing called getting paid. and now you wanna do it for free?
- Cacophony decides to change into a stealth-version of her outfit to make sure no one sees her. When she does come back she has a black-and-red Psylocke-esque outfit with more stealthy two-inch heels (as opposed to the higher, glittery ones from before). It takes her about an hour.
- When Grak explains how to get to the sewer that their gem was taken to, he says to Cacophony, "And you know the saying: Spider Chateau, do not go," Jylliana can only muster a concerned "excuse me".
- When Jyllana asks how you can get tides on space.Grak: How do you get a big rock in space? It just is. LET'S GO!
- Grak can cast an eldritch blast. He fires it from between Jylliana's legs, which makes her quickly back away.
- For a bonus attack, Grak throws a magic rock and rolls a very high attack. The rock turns into a giant anvil and just splats the suit of armour.
- Aelfgifu manages to take only a little damage from the suit of armours attack because she's wearing good armour and has an AC of 16. Rio is surprised since Grak has the same level. Kit states that, technically, the Hawaiian shirt is also a breastplate.
Maq: She turned her pain into strength!
- Despite this, Aelfgifu plays up the minor wound a lot in the ensuing fight. She rolls two nat twenties, and takes the head off an armour with a cross-slash.
Aelfgifu: Take that, sucker!
Aelfgifu: Better you than Cacophony.
- At the end the wound is determined to be about as dangerous as a paper cut. Jylliana says she could kiss it better.
- Jylliana casts Guiding Bolt at the remaining armour, and Vicki pictures it just barely grazing Cacophony since she almost stabbed Jylliana through the armour. Maq elaborates, stating that Cacophony doesnt move and just lets the bolt light her up form behind while dramatically whipping her hair around.
- While Grak is picking the lock, Jylliana comments on how nimble their big penguin fingers are.Grak: That's what all the ladies say.
*everyone corpses while Annie shrieks in terror*
Annie: It's in my head now!
Rio: Imagine those sausages!
- Cacophony takes 12 bludgeoning damage (while trapped in a rug) and is knocked unconscious.Aelfgifu: That's the quietest she's been in a while.
- Cacophony tries to argue that, while Aelfgifu attacks the outside of the rug, if she's inside, then it counts as flanking.
Episode 8: The Catacombs
- Jylliana gets hung up on Cacophony referring to a singular "octopi".
- Kit sending Annie the information for her new helmet is met by Annie laughing uproariously and making siren noises before the two reveal that Jylliana has obtained the Space Fun Helemt.Annie (struggling through laughter): Sorry it's—it's got "Spock" on the front! So you know Spock's coming! It's an asshole alert!
- Annie reads off the abilities of the helmet, which include revealing invisible objects and giving advantage on saving throughs against gasses and vapours. At the end: "The trade-off is just looking like an asshole."
- Upon placing it on her head (and adjusting the snap-on chin-straps), Cacophony and Aelfgifu rate her assholery a 7.5 and 9 respectively. Upon turning on the spinning gem, Cacophony raises it to an eight.
- When they find a chest in the sewers, Cacophony (still reeling from the rug) wonders aloud what the odds are that it's a monster that wants to eat them.Kit: Y'know, not all inanimate objects—
- Since nobody has lockpicking skills or equipment, Jylliana uses her hammer to smash it open and reveal a pair of gloves...that give a bonus to lockpicking skills.
- While fighting some slime, Cacophony uses Vicious Mockery on them.
Annie: There are no real lines in Flubber! It is simply nonsense!
- She tries it again, but chokes because Maq can't remember any quotes from Flubber.
Maq: Okay! In that case she will mutter simple nonsense, all involving the word "flubber" for some reason, and cast Dissonant Whispers on the thing.
Annie: he puts it on their shoes and then they play basketball real good...Robin Williams is best at basketball...Robin Williams is best at basketball...and he has a robot wife.
- And then Annie begins muttering herself while Maq explains the spell.
- And the spell makes the slime try to flee as fast is it can...which is rather slow, conjuring the image of a terrified oily blob slowly squiggling away from the party as they all watch it awkwardly.
- While healing the party, Jylliana asks Cacophony how she's doing and she replies that she's just below half health.Cacophony: If we were to put things in numbers, I would be at eleven out of twenty five!
Jylliana: You know that's a weirdly specific scale.
Cacophony: What can I say, I'm nothing but weirdly specific.
Episode 9: Shrine Row
- Right at the beginning Cacophony declares she's proficient at everything, checks a door for traps, and rolls a six.Cacophony: Aelfgifu, can you open the door?
Aelfgifu: You want me to help you open this door?
Cacophony: Yes, by which I mean I want you to open this door.
Kit: Back-up trap checker is always the one with the most hit points.
- Cacophony refuses to enter the room after this because she's still unsure, but immediately runs in when Aelfgifu announces that there are wine barrels.
- When the party encounters a single tentacular, beaked creature.Jylliana: Oh my god! Sewer octopodes!
Cacophony: I told you!
- During the battle they try flanking, but because of the close quarters Cacophony has to awkwardly squeeze passed Jylliana to get into position.
- Kit describes the exterior of the "Guiding Star" inn as a bit like a grandmother's cottage, so when she gets to the interior everyone piles on to make it as grandma-y as possible with doilies everywhere and full of Precious Moments figurines—but of things like dragon-centaurs.
- Aelfgifu wants to stay the night, but Cacophony and Jylliana just want to bathe and return to the ship. When Aelfgifu acquiesces:Jylliana: Peer pressure! *beat* On the pier!
- Kit then has Annie take psychic damage. When Annie protests that such never happened to Cacophony, Kit points out that Cacophony's the bard; she expects better from the cleric.
- After they eat a meal from a series of food stalls, Maq asks if there's such a thing as "Space Yelp".Kit: Uh, if by that you mean standing on a crate and yelping then sure.
Episode 10: Return to Stormhaven
- After the Kestrel, Cacophony moves into Aelfgifu's room. Aelfgifu does not get a choice.
- They state that new crew member Kara also brought a cat named Toolbox with her, in order to justify the noises Maq's cat Tesla makes in real life.Maq: He likes to sing the song of his people.
- The group discuss having a podcast where everything happens in real-time, with 48 hours of ambient Star Trek bridge sounds.
- In the middle of ghost ships laying siege to Stormhaven, Cacophony realizes she hadn't described her outfit yet.Kit: You can describe it when we get off he boat! It'll be very dramatic, you can start from where your feet touch the Earth.
- Jylliana tries to buff the party, but missed the check and the spell fizzles due to her remaining doubt. So she awkwardly turns it into an "atta boy" pat.
- Cacophony finally gets to describe her costume. She looks like a sexy Hamburglar.Kit: THIS IS A HALLOWEEN COSTUME!
Maq: It is!
Vickie: Well, discount. Halloween's over.
- In the stinger, Maq comments that her Cacophony voice is getting more like Taako with time. Beat. "Taako Time!"
Episode 11: Miss Kitty, Don't Go That Way!
- Cacophony casting Vicious Mockery.Cacophony: Darling, you're out of your depth!
Maq: That wasn't a pun—nat 20! Hell yeah!
Kit: Holy shit, that was a good pun it turns out!
Maq: Hang on I gotta do a thing.
- Maq's other planning.
Annie: I'm starting to really dread "I gotta do a thing".
Annie: I love this image of "Haha! You can do it. And away"!
- After killing the Draconian, Cacophony uses Bardic Inspiration to help Jylliana, then parkours away.
- Kit compares it to the scene from Xena where she flips off a cliff all the way to a pirate ship.
- Cacophony recovers from paralysis but has to end her turn in a pool of acid, thus taking 1 damage.Cacophony: In the grand scheme of things I will accept that.
Kit: Your shoes are a little ruined.
Cacophony: No! My heels!
- Vicky asks why Annie keeps failing stealth rolls. Annie points out that Jylliana is wearing chain mail.Annie: I go clink clank clink clonk!
- The stinger.Maq: I just accidentally clicked my bio tab and remembered that when I first filed it out I put "orbs of striking purple luscious coconut buttery skin and midnight blue".
Annie: Under eyes, skin, and hair?
Annie: Is there even enough space for that?
Maq: It just all runs together into one block.
Episode 12: The Worst Day of Kit's Life
- The players blame Jylliana's terrible initiative rolls on her losing her faith.
- Cacophony uses Mantle of Inspiration to give everyone another move action.Maq: You can move if you want to.
Maq: You can leave your friends behind, because your friends dont dance.
Annie: There it is! I was restraining myself.
- When an enemy spell caster casts Mirror Image, Annie cries out "Oh no it's Magical Hats!"Annie: Quick, ask it a question only the real spellcasting dude would know.
- When Annie discovers Kit doesn't have to keep track of the real spell caster in the fight because every time they're attacked she rolls a dice, she angrily cries out "Kittington Middle Name Walker"!
Episode 13: Cosmic as Sh*t
- Cacophony's outfit: Imperial Lolita Russian-Chan gone goth.
- Jylliana now has Revivify, so she makes sure to get a diamond to cast it because she doesn't trust Kit's mercy.Kit: Once you can reliably revive people the gloves are off!
- Jylliana tells Ariadne that she's not great at bargaining, missing the grin that flashes across the latter's face.Annie: Listen, I have Intelligence 10.
Annie: Miss Kitty has arms for stocking shelves, hugging, and for slaughter!
- Annie pointing out that Ariadne probably knows people who can come after her if she doesn't pay her back for the diamond. Also the giant mechanical octopus.
- While Aelfgifu waits for the other two to finish their errands, Annie asks if she has any woodland critters she'd like to sing a song with. Cacophony suggests Aelfgifu come with her to meet her family, but then thinks they'd misinterpret what she means by "friend".
- Finn made a chore wheel for the crew. He put a lot of effort into it—it's got sequins!
- While tidying the ship, Aelfgifu comes across Vali reading a steamy romance novel.
Aelfgifu: Well, if there's anything in here...
- She also tries very un-subtly to look through the documents Alana and Jyll were going through, but since Alana rolls a natural 1 on her intelligence check...look, it's been a long day.
Alana: Yep, I'll let you know. Bye.
Aelfgifu: I just wanted to let you know I'm always at your—
Alana slams door shut in Aelfgifu's face
- Jylliana's incredibly shocked reaction to seeing a constellate, a being made of stars that's hundreds of miles wide and looks directly at her is just a murmured "...space".
- Alana explains the various dangers of the Phlogiston, including ghosts.Jylliana: Sorry, ghosts?
Cacophony: Happens sometimes.
Alana: You just get ghosts out in space! Sometimes there are space ghosts.
Jylliana: Do they go from one coast to another?
Episode 14: Rainbow Connection
- The episode's description: "The Assassination of Annie Craton by the Cowards Kit Walker, Maq Weaver, and Vicki Charron."Kit: Happy birthday Annie I got you a cute half-orc.
- "Annie are you still angrily muttering to yourself?"
- Xilwin's dating advice.Xilwin: Lachlan is from Everton, which is very loud. You can talk about how when I'm Cacophony, I'm very loud.
Jylliana: Why are you guys like this?
Xilwin: Because were busybodies.
Kit: My mother everybody!
- Then Aelfgifu tells Jylliana to go after him because none of them have gotten any in the past two weeks.
- Then Jyll abruptly realizes that Lachlan can hear the entire conversation.
- Mr. Hurst is whittling.Mr. Hurst: It's a bird!
Kit, aside: It's not a bird.
- Jyll eventually works up the courage to ask Lachlan what he does for fun.Lachlan: Uh, well there's a couple of ways to have fun on a ship like this. Once I get off shift I can show you.
*Jylliana turns bright red*
Cacophony and Aelfgifu: Oooh!
Lachlan: No no not like that! I—I like playing euchre!
Kit: This has been: Two Idiots Flirting.
Aelfgifu: Oh is that what we're calling it now?
- Jyll tries to excuse herself by saying she needs to "polish her hammer".
- The awkwardness continues.Cacophony: I can play some music during dinner.
Jylliana: That's great, you can play my funeral.
Cacophony: How about some romance music?
Jylliana: No I think a funeral dirge would be great.
- Maq tries to imitate romantic music but ends up singing The Godfather theme.
- Lachlan shows Jylliana how to toss apples just right that they briefly orbit the ship before catching them from the other side...unless they hit somebody like Cacophony.Cacophony: There's one thing I don't normally do and that's take subtle hints. *resumes playing*
Jylliana: Were you aiming for her?
Jylliana: Can I try?
- Another ship is spotted.Annie: Wait. I've got something for this.
Maq: Space fun helmet!
Annie: Wee woo.
- Annie adds that the audience is free to imagine Jylliana wearing the Space Fun Helmet during the entire convo with Lachlan.
- The entire sequence of Aelfgifu and Cacophony trying to pull Jylliana back on board. A series of bad rolls leave the two desperately yanking on the rope and it barely budging. All the while, there's a faint orange glow off in the distance.Annie: Wee woo.
- They manage to enlist the help of Mr. Hurst. He rolls an 18 and Jylliana comes flying back.
- As Vicki bemoans her repeatedly bad rolls and declares herself a weak clueless idiot, the others encourage her by pointing out her combat prowess.Annie: And now you can murder four times in one turn.
Vicki: That's true! I'm a murderous idiot!
- Jylliana is gonna teach everyone Euchre, Lachlan's fav game. Aelfgifu already knows how to play—likely the only thing the old man in the woods taught her.Annie: Jylliana is absolutely no help. Her hand once touched Lachlan's when they were passing cards and she lost her fucking shit. Very quietly.
Episode 15: The Haunted Galleon of Lunitari (The Fallen Jammer pt.1)
- Alan imitates a hamhorn noise, and Jake asks everyone if they want a real one. He's quickly shot down.
- After the bathysphere crashes into the Kestrel, Mr. Hurst can be heard from the wardroom shouting about his house of cards collapsing.
- Alan can't help but describe he impact as a cacophony of sound.
- The first thing Solvin does is ask if his skulls are okay.
- Mara's shocked reaction to Mr. Hurst, and Tuatha's non-reaction.Tuatha: It's just a well-dressed hippo, pick your jaw off the floor.
- Solvin asks if it's too late to just close the door and pretend that none of this happened.
- Tuatha cutting off Mara's introduction to ask where the bathroom is.Mara: I told you to go before we left Tuatha.
Tuatha: No you didn't! We came out of a tomb and you took us into space, do not even pretend you told me to go before we left!
- Cacophony is immediately in love with the extremely revealing outfits Mara gave the Fallen Gods' party—before she even meets them.Cacophony: There's good fashion aboard!
Jylliana: Did everything just get 20% sexier here?
- Tuatha has become very attached to the bathysphere.Tuatha: If there is so much of a scratch on my baby, I swear to your gods—
Mara: There are many of them dear, take your pick.
Flint: *rummages through his bag, pulls out Gideon's book This one?
Tuatha: No, I like that one.
- Cacophony and Mara are immediately horny for each other upon seeing each other.Jylliana: Did a burlesque show crash into here? What the hell?
- Solvin desperately hugs his bag to his shirt, clearly uncomfortable with how sexy his outfit is. Tuatha loves it.Tuatha: See solvin, we would look like fools if we showed up in our own clothes!
Solvin: I would rather look like a fool!
- As Cacophony and Mara flirt, Jylliana's reaction is "oh no there's more of them".
- Turns out the spear that Finn is using as a spitroaster is actually a Dragonlance, an ancient and powerful weapon thought lost. Mara faints upon seeing it, as it's worth all the riches on the planet.Solvin: Oh, that's why I recognized it. *starts making room in his bag*
- Solvin sums up the show's plot.Solvin: We're just putting gods in a bag, it's no big deal.
Jylliana: You're pitting what in a bag?!
- Tuatha tries to show the Kestrel cew the page in Gideon's book where Flint shudders, so Flint tries to tear the page out and eat it. It doesn't work.
- Tuatha tries praying to Mina to see if she knows Ethla.Jake: Do I have to roll?
Alan: No, you just have to genuinely pray to Mina from your heart.
Jake: *deep sigh*
Shannon: Just sing Madonna's "Like a Prayer".
Jake: I don't know that one. *starts muttering the lyrics to "Material Girl"
- Solvin gets so awkward around Mara and Cacophony's flirting that he switches between wanting to hurl himself into the sun and wanting to stuff Mara in the bathysphere and hurl her into the sun.
- Tuatha is commando under her dress because no one wears underwear in space.
- As they approach Lunitari.Annie: That's no moon, that's a goddess.
Kit: You sounded so angry when you said that!
Maq: That's rough, buddy.
- Coming across the titular haunted galleon.Josh: It better not be named Enyo or we're out.
Alan: It has a U-shaped deck.
Jake: We're out!
- As Tuatha begins lusting over Lachlan, Jake asks for the horniest Lachlan art they have. Annie starts singing "Jolene" in her head.
- Jylliana becomes exasperated as she sees Mara and Cacophony returning from their time together below deck. Solvin offers her some teeth to comfort her. He's not sure if they're from Draconians or from humans.Jylliana: I think I'm full up on teeth, but thank you.
Solvin: That sounds fake but okay.
Jylliana: On a scale from one to ten, how horny do you people think space is?
- Further discussion on Mara and Cacophony's intimacy.
Tuatha: Uh, ten?
Solvin: Zero. It's space.
Mara: Anything is horny if you try hard enough.
Cacophony: I agree with Mara.
- Cacophony studies the way Allura's robe billows. Tuatha has other concerns.Tuatha: We're in space, where's that wind coming from?
Solvin: Where's our breathable air coming from?
- With regards to Tuatha's continued Malicious Misnaming:Jylliana: I don't think you've gotten a single name right on the first try aside from Lachlan's.
Tuatha: Well, now you know what's important to me. How big are Yvon's arms? Maybe I'll remember his name better.
Tuatha: Evan, please!
- Shortly thereafter:
Jylliana: Guess he's not that hot.
Tuatha: So you have a brother. Is he—
- Furthermore Yvon, a cleric they meet on Lunitari, has the same name as Solvin's brother. It prompts a discussion about said sibling.
Tuatha: Don't what?
Tuatha: Don't what?
Solvin: You know.
Tuatha: No I don't think I do.
Solvin: Let's go on that boat!
Tuatha: Couldn't you just say what I shouldn't don't?
Yvon: I don't think he wants you to fuck his brother.
Tuatha: I don't...necessarily—
Solvin: It's actually the reverse because I don't want Yvon to do it.
Tuatha: At all or with me specifically?
Solvin: With anyone. *beat* He's unstoppable.
- It's around this part of the episode that the Fallen Gods crew apologize for alienating the entire Jemjammer listener base by being so horny.
- When Mara explains that Lunitari is both a goddess and the moon itself, Flint starts trying to figure out how to fit the moon in a bag.
- Tuatha's head enlarges again.Jylliana: There's a metaphor for big ego in here somewhere.
- Annie noticeably perks up when Alan explains the backstory of Dargaard keep, which is almost entirely "Dragonlance bullshit".
- In the stinger, Maq's cat sneezes. Shannon declares that that's how she's going to leave conversations now: "My cat just sneezed, hold on".
The Fallen Gods 018: Great at Dragons (The Fallen Jammer pt. 2)
- Cacophony interrupts the Narrator to tell the episode's story, claiming to be a far better storyteller than he is.
- They establish that Kit is the GM in this session. They promise not to try and not kill anyone, and Jake hopes to hold them to that because he's their favourite.
Jake: Yeah! Welcome to Krynn, where rule's don't matter!
- Also, Alan pulls up the wild magic table for no reason.
- Aelfgifu has been sick and can't quite remember her species. But when Kit tells Vicki she doesn't need to go into a lot of detail, Aelfgifu just starts reiterating her entire backstory.
- Since they're preparing to fight a dragon, Mara tries to get a hold of the Dragonlance again.Tuatha: Mara, no, get your dirty hands away from that Dragonlance!
Solvin: Wait, is that the thing that's worth a lot of money? Because I agree—
Tuatha: Solvin! Get your dirtier hands away from that Dragonlance!
Solvin: I'm wearing gloves! They're so clean! My hands are. The gloves are filthy.
- As everyone looks at the Dragonlance:Aelfgifu: There's a lot of imagery going on here with everybody touching something.
Mara: And it's kinda phallic shaped?
Tuatha: But when I casually swing around my veiny, throbbing spoon, I get looks.
- While most of the parties are in awe of the power coming off the Dragonlance, Solvin can only feel how expensive it is.
- Everything pauses so that Alan and Maq can describe the outfits Mara and Cacophony's put on before they bang. Naturally, Maq's description goes on for a while, to the point where Jake mistakes a pause for breath as the end.
- As they leave for Dargaard Keep:Jylliana: Well! *claps* Can't wait to die away from home!
* The Fallen Gods party make fun of the Jemjammer party for having three potential healers while they have none have been doing pretty well for themselves.
- After Jylliana has an emotional explanation of her trouble with keeping in contact with Ethla while off-world, Tuatha offers to loan her one of their gods.
- Tuatha's crush on Lachlan rears it's head in the worst possible way, right in front of Jylliana.Tuatha: He's so tall I'd have to go up on him.
Jylliana: *internal screaming*
- Mara explains that Dargaard Keep is the former home of the Death Knight Soth. Everyone agrees he sounds like an angsty fourteen-year-old.
- Debating the effectiveness of dropping the bathysphere into the tower and crushing the cleric there.Jylliana: We are not that lucky.
Flint: You never know until you roll for it.
Alan: That's a T-Shirt we need!
Jylliana: It's a spaceship! It's not a blunt instrument!
- Another plan suggested is flying the ship over the dragon, turning the engines off, falling on it, and then fleeing again.
Solvin: Everything's a blunt instrument when you try hard enough.
Aelfgifu: That sounds eminently reasonable. There must be something wrong with it.
- Solvin finally suggests killing the cleric first and hoping that causes the undead Draconians to die as well.
- After determining that their best chances still involve risking the lives of everyone on board, Alana points out that they should make sure everyone involved is okay with the plan.Cacophony: I'm fine with it. Lachlan!
Cacophony: You heard the conversation, you're in the forecastle.
Lachlan: You're asking me if I'm okay with dying?
Tuatha: You're not gonna die.
Cacophony: You're not going to die, we're going to pull this off! But on the off chance that the five percent happens, are you okay with that?
Lachlan: I mean, people are gonna die if we don't do it, right?
Flint: If there was some kind of gravity slingshot maneuver we could do...\\
Alana: Vali is downstairs.
Cacophony: I'm yelling through the pipes.
Jylliana: Somebody's gotta sign to Finn...
- Kara says that if anything goes wrong she'll just grab Toolbox and leave. Cacophony asks Toolbox's opinion. Kara pauses before reminding her that Toolbox is a cat.
- Jylliana offers to repair Flint's armour. He follows her to her quarters and everyone goes "Oooh!"
- She asks how well Flint can take a hit, and Flint says that he's great and definitely never got his head slammed into a table by a waiter.
- She also points out that using Mending spells without knowing what your doing can, for example, heal your nose wonkily and make you snore like you're drowning in pudding.
- Once she's finished, Jylliana tells Flint to maybe stop saying crude things about Orcs because she now knows all the weak points in his armour. Flint's face goes completely white.
- When Tuatha waxes poetic a bit about the merman they encountered, Cacophony dubs him a "Mermimbo".Cacophony: How come our adventures are never this sexy?
Jylliana: You fill the quota.
- As they fly in, Tuatha has the great idea to use enlarge...on the dragon...to make it easier to hit. Jylliana loses her mind on her, telling her that it would make way more sense to either a) shrink the dragon or b) enlarge the Dragonlance. Any confidence she gained in the Fallen Gods party over the past hour is shot.Solvin: Yeah I usually just hide until they're done.
Jylliana: That sounds like a great idea.
Cacophony: You can't hide, dear, you go "clink clank clonk".
- Josh never looked at what Fighters and Eldritch Knights get when they level up. As such he had no idea about Bonus Attacks, Action Surge, Second Wind...the only thing he was aware of was that he could dual-wield axes. He doesn't even question it until the Jemjammer crew ask why he's only attacking once per turn. He also immediately blames Alan for not telling him about his stuff.
- The Kestrel ("our flammable, beautiful, baby bird") and some of the players catch fire during the dragon fight, and Aelfgifu asks if she can due anything about the fires.Jylliana: I don't have water magic! I do radiant damage, if I can manage that!
Aelfgifu: Then get a bucket!
Vicki: We're on a spaceship and we don't have fire extinguishers?
- Cacophony doesn't mind being on fire because it makes her look cool.
- Kit tells Aelfgifu where to find buckets of sand and water to put the fires out.
Kit: We barely have a gun. What do you want from me?
- Cacophony, still on fire, declares the situation "emberassing". When Kit tells her to take damage, Maq initially contests it because Kit told her she was allowed to make puns since she was the bard. Kit points out the pun is fine, but Cacophony is on fire.
- After healing Flint with a ditty that sounds like a Verizon ringtone, Cacophony uses Vicious Mockery on the undead dragon.Cacophony: Dear, I hope you know you aren't making a single scratch!
Maq: I need it to roll a wisdom saving throw.
Annie: Does that pun connect to anything?
Annie: I don't think that works then...
Maq: Okay, okay, how about "I've gotta say, you're really draggin us down"?
Annie: You've got a bone to pick with it! Come on!
Alan: That's just Power Rangers now.
Kit: It doesn't matter how bad the pun is! It failed!
- As Flint kills the dragon he manages to grab the head and deposit it in Solvin's lap.Solvin: Oh thank you! I'm not marrying you though.
Flint: That's okay. I just don't know what to do with that head.
- The Narrator tries to wrap things up before Cacophony returns, but she did leave him with everyone's twitter handles and email addresses—much to his confusion.
Episode 16: Dargaard Keep (The Fallen Jammer pt.3)
- To keep his skull safe, Solvin clips it into the bathysphere with a seatbelt.
- Kit drops a handout of Tekkaris' notes on Cacophony and Tuatha, and Jake flinches just because it's so long.
- Kit takes over the "Tuatha didn't go to that class" gag by saying she was there, but paid more attention to painting her nails than anything academic.
- Aelfgifu, Mara, and Solvin roll stealth checks. Solvin, with a combination of good rolls and bonuses, gets a 39.Kit: Okay you disappear from the campaign.
Shannon: I have gone to another dimension, goodbye my friends.
Alan: Now we have to figure out how to bring Void into The Fallen Gods.[[labelnote]]From The Chimera Program[[/labelnote]]
Jake: No crossovers, banned.
Shannon: I'm in the blinds watching you, or whatever the hell is happening in Interstellar.
- As the party climbs the staircase they see an Elven woman.Kit: Very beautiful, very dead.
Annie: Very goth.
Shannon: The ultimate goth: dead.
- Tuatha moving after her turn in roll20.Jake: Am I under Flint again?
Kit: You are under Flint again.
Alan: I'm not saying anything.
- The Draconian's turn comes around.Kit: Let me just double check what these guys do...ooh!
Annie: Oh no.
Kit: Who was the biggest pest last turn?
- Since she already used a bonus action on her turn, Cacophony cannot use Healing Word as one as well. But what she can do is do a flip and shove a healing potion into Flint's mouth.
- Jylliana finally reconnects with Ethla and is able to fly back to the tower after the battle with a pair of shining spectral angel wings.Solvin: Cool, does that mean you can heal me now?
The Fallen Gods 019: Split the Party (The Fallen Jammer pt. 4)
- The Lady Tika has to take over for the Narrator after he falls asleep, tuckered out after recounting the very long tale.
- When Jylliana runs to catch a falling Tuatha.Annie: There's something I wanna do.
Alan: Do it.
Annie: I wanna catch her Superman Lois Lane-style.
Jylliana: I've got you.
Tuatha: Then who's got you?
- Jylliana tries to prioritize healing by asking if anyone is going to bleed out in ten minutes, yes or no, right now.Tuatha: Flint a lot of your blood is on the outside.
Flint: I'm fine.
- Then Josh asks what would happen if Flint chugged his three vials of black dragon blood, and everyone quickly tells him he would die.
- Tuatha didn't realize that they fought the dragon and Takaris on the moon and not on Krynn. Except no, it turns out Jake Mason the human man thought that they went back to the moon to fight them. It's a full three minutes of everyone killing themselves laughing while Jake tries to defend himself. After a while Josh also points out he also thought he was on the moon. But at least Shannon was paying attention.Shannon: Solvin knows we're not on the moon.
Annie: At least somebody does!
Kit: How is that the bar we're setting? "Knows we're not on the moon".
Josh: Hi, welcome to the Cool Kids Table. Have you listened to this show?
- Tuatha is so pissed off at everything she's had to go through she threatens to turn the moon into a pine cone.
- The whole thing is played off as Flint and Tuatha failing a spot check and not realizing they're no longer on the moon.
- Tuatha loots a Ring of Flying off of Takaris, but Aelfgifu is able to guilt her into giving it to her since she landed the killing blow.Tuatha: I'm sure my party would get jealous of how cool my flying is anyway.
Flint: I'd actually be cool with it.
Tuatha: Don't rub it in Flint!
- Tuatha stuffs Takaris' dress in her bag while prestidigitating the blood and gore off of it. Something nasty still falls off of it.Solvin: Oh, but I'm gross when I put weird stuff in my bag.
Tuatha: I cleaned this first, you put wet meat in your bag!
Kit: I'm gonna write some Kindle porn called Put Wet Meat in Your Bag.
Shannon: Does it help that it was a tongue?
Kit: Yeah! It really does.
Maq: I've read weirder.
Kit: I think I broke Annie.
Vicki: I'm not a mother tonight, just ignore me!
- As they get into the topic of what it would be called if Chuck Tingle wrote the story, Kit points out that their mother is still present.
- Trying to figure out a pub they can go to, they can only think of the one where Flint got beaten up by a waiter or the when where he saw a ghost and got scared.Flint: There's gotta be somewhere we can go where I haven't been punked on yet...
Tuatha: It's a tradition at this point.
- Alan describes the bar they go to as "where high-end people go to get turnt."
- Tuatha and Solvin leave it as soon as they realize that Mara knows the owners, because they still don't like her and would rather be in a place a little shittier. Shannon suggests one that looks like the "Blow" music video. Mara knows the owners there too.
- Tuatha complains out loud about having too much money and not knowing what to do with it. Captain Bondar suggests paying to repair the hole that she and her party punched in the Kestrel.Tuatha: I'll give you some cash. Be cool, Alayna!
Captain Bondar: To you it's Captain Bondar.
Tuatha: We're not on your ship anymore, you're Alayna now!
Jylliana: I don't think she was ever Alayna, actually.
Jylliana I'm not helping.
*Captain Bondar stares at her blankly*
Tuatha: Let's get you a beer!
- There's a decent bard playing at the pub. Cacophony tries to accompany them, but is so good that she ends up taking over the set and he ends up accompanying her.
- During this Maq takes a look at her instrument proficiencies. Of course she has viol and harmonica, but it turns out she also has bagpipes. And starts using them to play "Wonderwall".
- During the Dance Party Ending, Tuatha ends up dancing with Mr. Hurst.
- Flint somehow manages to ace his performance roll when he tries to dance, and everyone says it's basically dance fighting. Or hip-hop-kido.
- Aelfgifu chooses not to participate in the dancing because Vicki is pretty sure if she tried it'd just be the little kicks (which does cause Annie to clap in delight). So instead she gets drunk and tries to fly away with her new ring.
- Fortunately Kara grabs her and pulls her back into the bar, so she starts dancing and flying. She winds up on the ceiling.
- When Mr. Hurst takes Aelfgifu to bed, Tuatha tells him to throw her to Solvin. He does so, literally, leading her to collide with the elf while he's wine-mom dancing.
- The next morning, hungover Solvin hides under a table while reenacting the fight with the dragon using his skulls as puppets.
- Captain Bondar has heard of the Unity, the Spelljammer that the Fallen Gods crew were on a little bit ago. Since they're pirates, she doesn't want to associate with them. The Fallen Gods crew try to defend themselves by pointing out they definitely didn't do anything to help them, and didn't even want to go through that portal.Solvin: I wanted to go to Hell but no one else wanted to go. It looked fun!
Alan: Alan really wanted you to go to Hell because then he could've been Raestlin Majere.
Kit: Annie really wants me to go to Hell, but for unrelated reasons.
- Cacophony thanks Captain Bondar for not throwing any of them in a box and forcing them to pilot the Spelljammer. Jylliana muses that putting Cacophony in a box every so often would make things a little quieter.
- When Alan asks Shannon what Solvin's brother looks like, she pauses before saying that he kinda looks like Marluxia, which causes the entire table to lose it.
- As they're leaving, Jylliana stops in a bookstore and buys the Dragonlance novels because she likes historical fiction.
- The last exchange between the two parties before they part ways.Tuatha: Hey Lachlan!
Tuatha: Jyll's carrying a real torch for you so you gotta put that out one way or another.
Tuatha: See you later byyyyeeee!
- And as they lift off, Jylliana asks her comrades to just throw her off the side of the ship.
- Just before they leave the atmosphere, Cacophony transforms back into Xilwin by tearing her outfit off and launching her bra off the ship at the Fallen Gods party.
Episode 17: Smutty Book Club
- Cacophony is feeling a little peckish after the events of the crossover, so she heads to the kitchen and tries to throw together a McGriddle. Kit argues that Finn's standards are too high to allow those on board.Cacophony: There's gotta be, like, a freezer of breakfast sandwiches to get people to shut up sometimes.
Cacophony: Anyone mind if I undress while we're here?
- Cacophony is munching on a McGriddle the entire time she's talking with the Captain, even though it's a serious talk about whether to meet with an infamous Pirate Lord to accept a job. Also:
- The Captain describes the Pirate Lord Ridian as someone dramatic who likes to throw parties, causing Cacophony to immediately want to experience him. She also appreciates the irony in the party (who have never heard of him) meeting someone used to their reputation preceding them.
- Jylliana asks the Captain if anyone else knows about the World Eater situation and that the previous captain was investigating it. Then they hear a muffled cough from Cacophony just around the corner.
Jylliana: I don't even have a rank!
- Captain Bondar agrees to tell everyone so that they're all on the same page, then realizes that as Captain she can delegate and tells Jylliana to do it.
Xilwin: Do you think I should arrange in alphabetical order, just general smut books; or should I arrange them by type first? Put weird undead Dracula romances here, and put strange men who have weird mating rituals here (I'm not entirely sure), and then put the lovely Draconian types here, and alphabetical order at that point? Opinions? Thoughts?
- When Jylliana finds Xilwin, she's in the middle of organizing her smutty book collection.
Jylliana: *stunned silence*
- Cacophony, Jylliana, and Vali start a smutty book club.Kit: I so want there to be in among the smut books one about a beautiful, chaste priestess—
Annie: Oh for fuck's sake.
Kit:—and a rugged half-orc—
Annie: Oh for fuck's sake Kit!
Kit:—rugged half-orc that captures her heart!
Maq: You can bet that Cacophony bought at least three of those.
Annie: Aw, fuck. Dammit.
Maq: And for some reason we read those three in a row!
- Cacophony asks Lachlan, directly to his face, how big Half-Orc cock is. He walks away immediately, and Jylliana turns so red steam comes off of her.
- Jylliana gets smacked by a baby Krajen stuck to the hull, and Lachlan tells her to kill it before it gets too big to be a problem. Aelfgifu suddenly appears and coos "Aww, but it's a baby!"
- Jylliana is averse to using a moderately nice handkerchief of Lachlan's to clean Krajen goo off her hammer, worried that he's subtly offering her a token. Then she finds out it's actually one Tuatha gave him while she was drunk, and she starts cleaning the hammer with a little bit more force than necessary.
- Aelfgifu, unsure of what to do during the two weeks to the edge of Krynn Space, is offered to join the Smutty Book Club by Cacophony. Aelfgifu doesn't know what smut is. As such Cacophony has to start her out slow with something vanilla instead of lesbian dragon romances or sexy fish people (which are admittedly more fantastic than educational).Aelfgifu: I can come to you with any questions, right?
Cacophony: Absolutely! And I promise to actually take them seriously.
- The crew get the "Absolutely No Fucking Fire in the Phlogiston" speech again, even though they don't need it. Maq compares it to an airline hostess.Kit: In the event that the ship is on fire, here are the emergency ex—there aren't any, because the ship is on fire!
- Kit refers to the Phlogiston as the Rainbow Connection again, and Annie curses in the distance.
- Xilwin tells Mr. Hurst he should learn how to scam people at cards because he looks so innocent and could easily shark people. Kit points out that he would hippo them.Annie: I wanna see his big, fat hippo hands try and do the shell-game.
Episode 18: YOU Look Like a Dick!
- Xilwin needs a wisdom saving throw to avoid begin posessed by a ghost.Maq: I like those. Those are fine. *rolls die* Nevermind, I got a nat 1. I don't like those.
** Her reaction after the ghost turns her into Cacophony and begins attacking the rest of the crew is "Sweet! Time to murder my friends!"
- Aelfgifu reaction to this.Aelfgifu: What can I do with a possessed Cacophony? I mean, Cacophony alone is a lot to take on, but a possessed one? Oh my god!
Jylliana: Punch her! Punch her and don't feel bad about it!
Aelfgifu: Can you heal her after I kill this possessing being?
Jylliana: I'll give it a shot.
Aelfgifu: "Give it a shot"?!
- Annie is concerned that somebody in the party is going to get killed and doesn't want to blow her Revivify diamond on a ghost attack.
- Maq "helpfully" comments that the last two people to die in her other campaigns also perished due to possessions.
- Jylliana tries and fails "Turn Undead" against the ghost.Jylliana: I'm supposed to be able to do this! Unfortunately I'm a shitty cleric and we'll just have to punch her a lot.
Maq: Your spiritual weapon looks like a dick.
- Then she summons Spiritual Weapon, which has a suggestive appearance on the game board.
Annie: YOU look like a dick!
- After the ghost fails several rolls to hit, Vicki suggests it's because Cacophony is Fighting from the Inside. The response is Sure, Let's Go with That.
- Aelfgifu tries to trick Jylliana into taking hits for her.Aelfgifu: Oh, you saw that, huh?
Jylliana: How long have we known each other?
Aelfgifu: Hey! I lived the law of the jungle! Survival of the fittest! Now get up here.
Jylliana: You lived in a swamp!
- Jylliana tries to get rid of the ghost by telling it to get the fuck out.Jylliana: If I can't turn it the least I can do is yell at it!
- Aelfgifu takes out the ghost.Vicki: You know what I do? I slash and I slash and I take my sword and I spin three hundred and twenty—sixty—whatever!—degrees and I slash it again.
- While everyone seems occupied, Jylliana tries to sneak one of the half-orc smut novels into her quarters for a private reading. She almost gets caught when Cacophony calls out to her, but she manages to finally dip. The next thing the party hears is a book being thrown against a wall.
- The party comes across a world that looks mostly made of gas.Maq: Ominous.
Vicki: It's Jupiter.
Annie: It's ascending.
- Kara comes back with a gilded envelope smelling faintly of cologne. Cacophony notes that if this man was a woman she would seduce him.
Episode 19: The Shopping Episode
- Cacophony immediately calls the reception "Space Prom". She manages to convince Jylliana to join in with the offer of a mani-pedi, and Aelfgifu is basically dragged along against her will.
- She also claims she's capable of being reasonable when it comes to fashion. Jylliana points out she once dressed up as a Hamburglar. Cacophony counters that Jylliana could never pull off such an outfit.
- Outside of the game, the concept of "Space Prom" came up two months prior to this episode's recording. Maq sends Kit a list of dress ideas she had, and judging by the reactions there are a lot. Annie's pretty sure Maq had been preparing ever since the subject came up.
- Cacophony managed to select several dresses for her and her companions to try on, not to see which ones look good on them, but to see what they look like on people and have an interesting fashion show. She specifically tells them that the real dresses that they'll be wearing will be saved for the reveal at the party itself.
- Jylliana tries on a dress that Cacophony picked out for her, and is aghast at how short and skimpy it is.Kit: The skirt goes the opposite direction that most skirts are supposed to.
Jylliana: I look like I'm on fire, but not in a hot way. I look like I'm actually combusting. If we were anywhere near the phlogiston I would be thrown overboard immediately.
- Dress 2.
- AE's first dress has some strange clamshell design around it, and Jylliana describes it as "a day at the beach gone wrong".
Aelfgifu: What's holding this thing up? Hope?
- Dress 2, which has some kind of whooshy, fighting fish look and nothing in the way of straps.
Cacophony: Magic, dear.
- Aelfgifu ends up wanting something akin to her final dress, even though it's incredibly shiny and has very large shoulder pads, because she knows where she could store her short swords and longbow in it. She also asks for part of one of the dresses Cacophony tried on because of the metal breastplate.
- The stinger is Maq pausing the episode in order to delete some of the dress designs she'd saved for the episode. She had so many that her computer was slowing down and running out of memory!
Episode 20: Attempts at Brunch
- The episode's title comes from the fact that seemingly nobody in Port Providence knows what brunch is. Evidently Stormhaven is the only place that's invented it, and it's possibly their only technological innovation.
- Other than the mechanical octopuses.
- The party finds a pub called The Spicy Tuba, where their options on the menu are "food" and "beer". They manage to make do, getting the Tortle bartender to mix the beer with fruit juice and call it a mimosa.
Kara: Don't let him play the tuba.
- The pub gets it's name from an actual tuba that the bartender keeps behind the bar.
Jylliana: Is it spicy?
Kara: It's too spicy.
- Of course, as soon as this is said, Cacophony starts scheming about getting the bartender to play it.
- There are no mani-pedis in this port either. The only options they seem to find are a store called "Potions Potions Potions", or another store called "Stuff".
Jylliana: I'm pretty sure we've walked by this display of racist old-timey figurines before.
- Stuff turns out to be an antique mall, and the further they go in the harder it is for them to find the exit.
Aelfgifu: You need a ranger along all the time!
- They end up needing Aelfgifu's survival abilities to escape the store.
- When Xilwin starts the mani-pedis, she reveals she brought a case full of basically infinite nail polishes.
- To help Jylliana get her mind off of Lachlan, Xilwin shares a story of how she gave a rose to a woman she was attracted to, and the woman mistook it as a favour because she was a gardener.
- Cacophony encourages Jylliana that Lachlan cares for her, because he actively seeks her our to talk to. Unlike Cacophony herself, who he tries his best to avoid at all times.
- Jylliana is concerned because he accepted a token from Tuatha, but Cacophony ensures that he absolutely doesn't know what that is or what it means.
- Cacophony doesn't know how non-elf ages work and has to ask if the 23-year-old Jylliana is an adult.
- Aelfgifu doesn't know how old she is, but the way she phrases it makes Jylliana worried that she'd been adventuring and hanging around in bars with a child.
- Cacophony is 358. Aelfgifu calls her "well preserved". Jylliana calls her a mom.
- Cacophony shows up wearing a sweater for "Jemjammer University". It's the latest in several university clothes she's worn.Jylliana: How many universities have you gone to?
Kara: Are you kidding? She looks like she dropped out of four community colleges.
Jylliana: Except the college of glamour!
Cacophony: It was actually six. I guess technically the sixth one I got kicked out of. Did you know it's illegal to perform on top of the administration building?
- Followed by Annie shouting "Glamour Hooouuuse!"
Episode 21: Space Prom
- Cacophony is wearing an overdramatic goofy dress with layers of twill and spool that make her look like a gigantic cupcake.
- Oh but don't worry, Cacophony hid a second dress underneath the first dress. Annie calls it like a transforming barbie doll.
- Captain Ridian starts to go up the stairs, then turns to a footman and says "where's the carpet?" Then the footman stomps on the stairs and the stairs flip around to reveal a red carpet surface. And in real life, Annie slams her hands on the table.Annie: You magnificent bitch! You did the Hook thing!
- Annie, knowing exactly who her DM is, asks Kit what Captain Ridian is. Kit assures her he's just an average human. Two minutes later she has Jylliana encounter Max the sexy werewolf.
- When Cacophony goes to dance, she tears away her second dress to reveal a third dress.
- The party is summoned to talk to Captain Ridian, and Cacophony happily announces she can now change into her sexy outfit. For those at home keeping score, this is outfit number four. Rather than a dress it's actually a pinstripe suit with a white shirt and suspenders. Somehow this fit underneath her very formfitting third dress.Kit: Oh no, Mackenzie, it's lesbian kryptonite!
- Max tries to follow the party on their way back to the ship, but he critically fails his stealth check and trips over a trash can before falling into them.
Cacophony: Max, what you need to do is put your hand on Jylliana's shoulder and say it very seductively.
- He explains he wanted to suavely tell them about the pirate ambush ahead of them, and Cacophony gives him advice.
Max: Oh, alright. *seductively* There's three bloodthirsty pirates waiting ahead of you on the street to try and rob you.
Cacophony: Now wink.
Cacophony: And then disappear into the shadows. You can recover from this, you just have to always be ready.
Episode 22: The Spicy Tuba
- Max politely saying "excuse me" while he squeezes past the others in the alleyway before he runs to attack the pirates.
- After Aelfgifu pops in and out of reality a few times, they decide her magic ring from Krynn is to blame. When it can't come off, Cacophony claims it's either cursed or she needs butter.
- As Max rests his head in Jylliana's hand long after she's finished healing him, Aelfgifu stands there doing mental math and figuring some stuff out. Cacophony simply yells out "book club!" from a distance.
- As Jylliana boards the ship, she spots Lachlan on deck very studiously not looking at her.Annie *distantly*: Oh my god! *while clapping* Does! It! Never! Stop?!
- Captain Bondar has a mug that says "World's Okayest Captain".
- While talking about Jylliana trying to scrub her makeup off, Kit explains to Annie that most waterproof makeup is oil-based, so Jylliana could use bacon grease to take off her face from last night.Kit: That's why you can wear long-wear lipstick and it'll stay all night, but the moment you start eating bacon it'll melt off.
Annie: What a common experience that I've definitely had.
- A brief talk of Cacophony's walk of shame comes up, but the key points are that 1) Cacophony has no shame and 2) it doesn't matter anyway, she had a fifth outfit on underneath the last one.
- Cacophony points out that Jylliana has gotten herself stuck in a love triangle between herself, Max, and Lachlan. Jylliana is so flustered and desperate to change the topic of conversation that she agrees to pay for Cacophony's brunch for the second day in the row.
- While wondering aloud why nobody on a pirate planet seems to know how to cook seafood, Maq asks if there are any pirates nearby.Kit: Yeah, there is, one who's trying to enjoy his breakfast in peace.
Maq: That's not gonna happen, buddy!
- They ask the pirate if there is a place they can procure fish. The pirate says they can, but they wouldn't be able to eat it, much to their confusion.
Episode 23: Everything's Definitely Fine
- The moment Cacophony asks the bartender to play The Spicy Tuba instrument, everyone in the pub gives out a Big "NO!"
- There is a flamethrower inside the tuba!
- Cacophony's latest hoodie is one she found in the Stuff store that reads "Pirate University".Jylliana: Did you pay for that at least?
- When Captain Ridian says Max will be joining them to Pariah's territory, Jylliana starts letting out a low whimper. Xilwin quickly uses a telepathic link to determine what she's trying to communicate, and sees the flirtatious encounters between her and Max from the past night overplayed with a Madness Mantra of "oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck".
- Rio's new character Arturos is introduced as being hungover and swept away with the trash by Chastity the bartender. When Max tells him he'll be accompanying several beautiful women on an adventure, he's immediately sober.
- Rio is also rather short compared to the rest of the cast.Arturos: How could you do this to me, Universe?
Max: Artie, are you blaming the gods for being short again?
Arturos: You shouldn't be so high!
Max: I can put my shoes down and put my knees in them if that's what you want Artie!
Arturos: You say that but you never commit.
Arturos: Such a cute little muppet.
- Xilwin offers Artie some spare heels so that he's not so short. He tries the gaudy ones, but they're too tall and he gets them stuck between the floorboards.
- Finn is shorter than Artie, and Artie declares him his new best friend.
- Jylliana asks Xilwin to check out a nightclub which might hold answers to Aelfgifu's cursed ring. Unfortunately ,Xilwin is in a winter mood. It makes her cynical and willing to morosely follow any order given. Annie describes it as emo mode.
Maq: How much "oonts" can I hear?
- As they step into Gehenna.
Kit: No "oonts". You do hear a piano, though.
Maq: Oh, this is a lame club.
Episode 24: Tip Well, Especially For Babes
- Club Gehenna's proprietor explains Aelfgifu's situation as different from a classic curse, " not the kind of thing that your average two-bit acolyte in an alleyway would be able to fix." Elsewhere, Jylliana feels vaguely insulted and she doesn't know why.
- While Xilwin has been seeking out answers for Aelfgifu and Jylliana has been supervising Max as he decodes the notes on the World Eater, Arturos has been...learning about houses of cards from Mr. Hurst.Arturos: It's amazing you can do such a thing with such big hands.
Mr. Hurst: Well I try to be gentle. I'm surrounded by small people all the time and it's not nice to hurt them.
Arturos: Oh, I know exactly what you mean.
Kit: He looks like he's about to say something, then the part of the brain that says "no you gotta be nice to people" shuts that off.
- Jylliana is surprised at how overt Arturos' flirting with Xilwin is. Xilwin is surprised that Jylliana was able to spot flirting when she saw it at all.
- Max tries to take a break in the cargo hold, and is met with Xilwin trying to teach herself how to play "House of the Rising Sun" on the Harmonica.
Kit: There are a lot of young lords who must marry in order to maintain control of their estate.
- Maq is quick to remind everyone that the reason Xilwin is having trouble is because she's never played the song before, not because she lacks skill. She is proficient at harmonica, alongside viol and bagpipes.
- Kit adds that the bagpipes will come in handy when they go to a Highlander planet. Which is not based on actual highlanders, but on highlander romance novels.
Rio: And at least one is a sexy werewolf.
Annie: So is there gonna be a planet that's just full of Darcys or what?
Kit: I can arrange it.
- Jylliana wants to buy some armour mending tools, and Kit decides they need to go check how much those cost.Kit (in the distance): See what you're doing Annie! You're making me get the book!
Annie: Wow! I'm sorry! I thought I wanted to live in a fully immersive world!
Kit: Jesus Christ, I can't believe you're making me do this.
Annie: We can do it later! You can just tell me later and we can subtract it!
Kit: Nope! Nope! Gotta do it now!
Annie: Oh my god, we can hand wave this!
Kit: Look at it this way, I wasn't torturing you with hot boys.
- Xilwin grumpily changes into Cacophony. Goth Cacophony. "Cagothony". Her mood is now so bad that she repeats an outfit that everyone's seen before. On the flipside, she's still dramatic enough that she changes into Cacophont solely for the purpose of walking several feet from her room to the forecastle before turning back into Xilwin.
- Max tries to explain the Starwardens as "if you're naughty in space they come get you". He then revises that they're like interstellar park rangers who take you away if you litter in space.
- He also mentions how pirates are the most superstitious group in space. He's managed to extort plenty of money out of others by claiming that they're "haunted". Including Arturos, who was convinced after Max made a few banging noises on his wall.
- Jylliana belatedly realizes that Bondar only delegated the task of telling people about the previous captain's World Eater investigation because she didn't want to have to tell Hurst that the captain kept a secret from him. He's just so nice and so good at guilt tripping.Captain Bondar: If we ever need to interrogate somebody we should just have Mr. Hurst be disappointed in them.
- Arturos' idea of helping with laundry is barging into the room, tell them to move everything a little to the left, and leaving again.
AC: Episode 25: Don't Be Cry
- Arturos tries to communicate with the Delphinids, even though Tritons can only share simple ideas with water-breathing animals (not mammals). It amounts to kissing noises.
Annie: Oh that's bad. *beat* I'm gonna pet it.
- When informed that the Delphinids only barely understand him and he can't understand them, his response is "aw, beans".
- Also, Jylliana thinks they're cute based on the description. She is later corrected.
Kit: It's second edition art, there's room for improvement.
Rio: I like my version better, it was more Lisa Frank.
- Jylliana does spend the entire sequence hoping that the delphinids don't act like normal dolphins. By the end Arturos agrees, but mentions that that manner of dolphin behaviour can be fun at certain parties. Jylliana is, understandably, concerned.
- Jylliana's arachnophobia rears up when Max mentions they're headed to a planet full of dark elves and she starts worrying about the possibility of spider iconography. Max has to talk her down and explain that they're culturally different from the usual drow.
- Max reiterates that he was sent on the mission because he, like the Kestrel crew, is expendable to Captain Ridian. Arturos happily points out that he is often left behind, and Max confirms that the Triton will likely be left behind again.
- Also, Arturos believes every is his friend. All Jylliana can do is sigh heavily.
- As they wander the surface of Vesper, Cacophony wishes someone could quickly paint her portrait in the aesthetic background while she poses. Then she wonders what she could do if there was a way to make many rapid portraits and share them to gain a following.Kit: Oh god, Cacophony is an Insta-thotty.
AC: Episode 26: The White manor
- The titular building is incredibly ostentatious against the surrounding humble fishing village, being made of opulent white marble and not even attempting to blend in. They're that extra.Cacophony: They have my design aesthetic.
Arturos: They have my design aesthetic.
Jylliana: Oh I hate it. You're both like that.
- The repeated stealth failures as the crew try to sneak in.
Jylliana (to Max): I would say we're normally not like this but yes we're normally like this. Sorry.
- The first time everyone rolls high except for Cacophony. Aelgfifu pops in and accidentally shoves Cacophony into the mud, causing her to loudly moan about ruining her white outfit and prestidigitation it clean. An arrow whizzes past them as she argues with Jylliana.
Max: I'm going to die today.
Arturos: Stop running into me!
- The second time, as they try and sneak around the back, Max rolls a one, and another arrow flies right at them. Arturos blames it on Max.
Max: You're so short I can barely see you!
Arturos: That's a lie and you know it!
- This sequence also includes Jylliana calling Max "Fido".
- Arturos' plan is to charm his way into the house.Arturos: Whenever I go into places most people, you know, like me. *beat* At first.
- What's more, this works, mainly because the guards are so unsure at how to respond to a direct request to see the interior that they just go along to see what happens.
- Cacophony is able to repeatedly charm, Enthrall, or Suggest every guard the group come across and gains access to the entire house, including the secret passageway leading to Blackjammer's Sword. Kit has to completely restructure the session because this was not what they had planned. And Rio and Annie lose their minds in the background.Kit: Fucking bards! It's fine, it's all fine. This is why we play D&D you guys. To watch all my fucking plans go out the window. It's fine.
Max: *busy having an existential crisis*
Jylliana: I'm not accustomed to optimism and this bubble could pop at any moment.
- Jylliana is loving this, even though she doesn't know how to deal with a plan going off so easily.
- Maq forgot Blackjammer's name and switches between calling him Blackbeard and Beardjammer.
- The crew try and figure out if the pillow that the sword is laid on is trapped.Arturos: What if I grab it and a bowling ball comes down?
Jylliana: A...what? Bowling ball?
Arturors: I've been near some very troublesome children.
- When something starts attacking the guards off-screen, Cacophony announces that she has a plan.Jylliana: What else can you possibly pull out of your ass this morning?
Cacophony: Almost all my spells are charm spells, I want you to know.
Jylliana: I was pretty sure that sentence was gonna complete "almost all my spells come out of my ass".
Cacophony: That's not a lie!
- While the plan (Hypnotic Pattern) does make things somewhat better, it does also block the party into the alcove while the guards are wholesale slaughtered.
- Kit rolls an intelligence check to see if a guard does something stupid. He does.Maq: He's not throwing away his shot!
Rio: When you're young scrappy and hungry you just have to go for it.
Maq: He should really learn to wait for it, Rio.
Annie: *deep sigh*
- Cacophony shouts encouragement from the sidelines, which Annie compares to a soccer mom on the sidelines drinking a mimosa and calling "you can do it sweetie!"
- In the stinger, Rio sings.Rio: D&D ad thingy! It helps you DM! Control your monkeys! And watch them burn!