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2013 & earlier
- James and Mike playing the Odyssey.
- The Atari Jaguar CD didn't work for The Angry Video Game Nerd, but a couple years later James got a unit in working condition, so he and Mike gave it a try. The best was when they played the Highlander: The Last of the MacLeods game, and were unable to get away from two enemies who kept beating the main character with sticks (James: "I can't get out of this!").Mike: Time ta get beat, bwah! Time ta get beat motherfucker!
- The two observing that the main character is like a one-ponytailed Pippi Longstocking.
- Mario Paint: James and Mike replace various notes in the pre-loaded songs with other instruments, such as a meowing cat. After the song concluded, Mike observed with a big grin on his face, "It's such a happy game, isn't it?"
- The looping animation James created of Mario shoving a spiky shell up Yoshi's ass.
- Taboo the Sixth Sense: "I see shitty games!"
- When the two of them played Pilotwings 64 and dicked around with it immensely.
- Mike says, "touch the balls", in reference to an objective in the game. After a pause, he does an Aside Glance into the camera and smirks, trying hard not to laugh while James is talking.
- At one point, they try to enter a cave to find out what could be inside (In case you're curious, it's actually a star). James flies away from the island in order to get enough room to turn around, but at the same time, he talks about Abott and Castello. He ends up getting sidetracked to the point that the island isn't even visible for a while by the time he turns around.
- During the cannonball stage, they don't even bother to try and hit the targets. They actually try to shoot the guy as far away as possible, preferably into walls. And Mike's exaggerated screaming deserves a mention too.
- Corpse Killer: James's advice for playing the game: Don't press the "C" button, because it will end your game.
- Sonic the Hedgehog (2006). Biggest moment, the game switches character control over to Tails, temporarily breaking James' concentration (he was playing as Sonic a moment ago) and causing him to accidentally drop Tails into the watery abyss and lose his last life. Cue James and Mike encountering the exact same problem pokecapn and his pals encountered way back in 2008: It doesn't autosave thus they're forced to play the game from the very beginning all over again.
- Their reaction to the shopkeeper whose talking animation keeps playing even after his text box only said one thing. James imitating said animation makes it even funnier.
- Making Tails somehow fly through the ground and into the skybox.
- Rocky (PS2): James picks Mickey, and Mike picks Rocky Balboa. Rocky knocks Mickey out soon after the fight begins, disappointing James.James: Is that it?!
Mike: You can't do anything if you're dead, dude.
James: So wait, does he really suck that much?
Mike: I would hope- I would think so!
James: Well I thought he'd be awesome!
Mike: He's fuckin', like, why would he be awesome?
James: Well I thought he'd be like Yoda or something.
Mike: Yoda's, like, science fiction or whatever; Mickey's just, like, an old man.
James: Well why'd they put him in the game if he sucks that bad?
Mike: Well, 'cause it's funny. (both laugh)
Mike: It should be, like, one hit, he should be dead!
- Then the two do a match of Mickey vs. Ivan Drago, just for the sheer ridiculousness of it.
- In Contra, when James drops this accidental innuendo: "Let me be a little more aggressive since I'm on the top."
- In Universal Studios Theme Park Adventure, the two are confused why they can't get on rides when there are too many people. Later, James and Mike are underwhelmed by the Waterworld exhibit, which is just the finale of the stage show that lasts about five seconds and the only thing you can control is where you sit in the audience. Mike admits: "Well, at least we got to look at that instead of having to stand in a line." James starts laughing at how ridiculous Mike's statement is: "Who would ever think you'd say that when you're playing a game, like- "We might have to stand in a line!""
Mike: I thought something better was gonna happen than that.
- After beating the Jaws ride, Mike is underwhelmed by how it ends: Jaws just swims away.
James: You thought the kid was gonna go, "Smile, you son of a bitch!"?
- James and Mike played the unreleased Super Mario's Wacky Worlds on CDi, and since there is no goal post (not to mention many of the levels don't even work, or are only one screen), the duo have to reset the game every time they "finish" a level. After a number of times doing this, James and Mike look visibly exasperated. This moment perfectly encapsulates the entire video.
- After getting tired of having to get up repeatedly, James gets out a long stick that the two use to reset the game from the couch. Mike, taking a Southern accent, tells James, "Get that stick, bwah!"
- At one point, Mike deadpans about the stick, "You'd have more fun sticking that up your ass than playing this."
- A minor one, but when Mike tries to play the level "Sewer", he says in a nasal voice, "Sewer Surfin'."
- When playing the Action Max console, the discussion briefly went to Full House, and Mike asked James if he could sing the theme song. Mike proceeded to do the first couple verses. He quickly noted what an odd juxtaposition it was to be singing that over gameplay footage of a haunted house.
- Anticipation: James, Mike, and Bootsy laughing incredulously at how many of the items that the game draws are weapons.
Mike: "Remember the time Lloyd Kaufman shit over there?" (laughs)
- Mike saying, "Remember when Lloyd Kaufman vomited over there?", a reference to the AVGN episode Toxic Crusaders. James clarified that he vomited, and Lloyd took a shit.
James: I never thought you'd be able to say that. (clarifying) I mean, not that he really shat.
- Oh boy, Super Off Road...
Mike: It's better than Ivan... whatever the...
- James' controller doesn't work too well due to tech problems with their extension cables, so they have to dust off James' childhood NES to try again.
- When the first race begins, the car sprites' small size and relatively small color palette make James mistake his car for the grey car, when it's actually the blue car stuck all the way back at the start of the race.
- Mike eventually gives up because Pat the NES Punk keeps winning, so he decides to troll Pat and James for the rest of the video. This isn't helped by the fact that the later courses have very confusing layouts, which causes more mayhem as James tries to follow Mike, unaware that the latter is actually fucking around.
- The fun continues into the very next video, where they play RC Pro AM 2. Pat brings up Super Off-Road and Mike, half-facetious and half-serious, tells him to shut the fuck up about that game. And they also have a hypothetical discussion of Ivan Stewart eating out Mike's ass, causing all three of them to burst into hysterics.
James: Ivan Shithead.
Mike: (chuckles) Whatever the fuck that stupid thing's called.
Pat: I don't like you guys taking a shot at Ivan 'Ironman' Stewart.
Mike: Fuck him. He can eat my asshole. (James laughs)
Pat: Y'know, he might be such a nice guy, he might actually do that for you. He's probably 75 by now...
Mike: (laughing while talking) A 75-year old man is gonna eat my asshole. How did the video turn into this?!
Pat: Hey, I'm just sayin', he might be open to it. I don't know what his social situation is.
James: I don't know anything about the guy, so who knows?
Pat: He's probably a very nice guy.
Mike: Yeah, he's probably this nice, just...
James: That's... that's way too nice. If you're gonna be like...
Pat: Well it depends on how you look at it. Y'know, some people might think it's too nice, but they'll be like, "That's real sweet of you to do that."
Mike: (in old man voice) Hey you don't need to wipe that ass. I'll eat it for ya.
Pat: I didn't say- I didn't say "dirty". See, that, that reveals way too much about Mike. (Mike laughs) We didn't say "dirty" ass, we just said ass. There's dirty ass and clean ass.
Mike: Why does everything turn into ass and shit? It's always...
Pat: You guys can answer that for me, tell ya the truth.
Mike: I guess I brought it up.
Pat: You brought up ass and eating it, so I mean...
(everyone breaks down)
James: You play shit, you're gonna end up talkin' about shit.
- On an unrelated topic, Mike mentioning how there's a game called Butt on the Ouya.
- While playing Mario Chase on Nintendo Land, Mike notices the face-cam feature, and screws himself over. At first, both of them question why the Wii U would have such a feature, but by the next round, they have so much fun with it that they don't care.
- Bootsy casually beating Back to the Future Part III for Genesis. The shocked look on James and Mike's faces after he beats level 1 (which The Angry Video Game Nerd got stuck on) is priceless.
- The video on Jaws Unleashed, which mostly consists of James, Mike, and Pat the NES Punk shouting "YEAH!!!!" and "OHHHH!!!" (and variants thereof) while Jaws eats people and wrecks boats.James: Jaws is comin' for you, motherfucker!
James: I love seals, but come on, Jaws has gotta eat!
- Later, when Pat and Mike pleading James not to have Jaws eat some harmless seals on land:
- The Sonic the Hedgehog Genesis games, which sounds like they'll just be playing the first four Sonic games. Turns out, they're ROM hack cartridges, one of which is Sonic Megamix, another is a hacked Streets of Rage 3 game with Sonic in it and another involves Sonic.exe. James and Mike's reaction to the Sonic.exe hack, the I AM GOD Jump Scare popup and the bloody Green Hill zone sells it.(James and Mike start up Sonic 1)
James: Love the music in this game.
Mike: It's so classic...
(The title screen changes to Sonic.exe with the Green Hill Zone backdrop changed into hell)
James: What the fuck...
(They start playing the game)
Mike: Did you see that? There was, like, blood coming out his eyes...
James: No, no, I didn't see that. No.
- Batman on NES. Near the end, Mike finds himself in deep shit, faced with very tough enemies to defeat, no weapons to attack them with, and one HP left. James advises him to run for it, which he does, screaming all the way, and he makes it. However, in his excitement, he throws the controller to James, not realizing there's a boss. James only manages to pause right as the boss is about to hit Batman, with no way to avoid it. Fortunately, they had one last guy, and James manages to beat the boss anyway.
- James' bizarre stream of consciousness rambling about why the Grim Reaper carries a scythe from Super Ghouls and Ghosts.
- In the same video, they start pondering subjects for pop songs not commonly heard. James suggests waiting for Final Cut Pro to render. "I feel like it'd be a very angry song."
- Mike suggests an angry song about iTunes...which you then listen to in iTunes.
- In Excitebike 64, James shared an anecdote about a time in grade school when he took a field trip to a museum where they had a display of droppings from various animals. James was the only one to get 100% of the answers correct, which caused the guy running the quiz to tell him, "You really know your shit."
- In their playthrough of Mega Man 2, James trying to make words out of the inventory screen's weapon abbreviations: "PHAWBQE" and "FMC123".
- The second part of the Blaster Master playthrough had a tangent about Marmaduke, of all things. It's funnier than it sounds.
- While playing the Friday the 13th NES game, James and Mike realize there's no in-game way to keep track of which cabins have lit fireplaces, so they have to resort to pausing the game and sticking pieces of tape to the television screen.
- In Bomberman for NES, James and Mike bring up how they did a version of this video with Pat the NES Punk instead of JonTron, and mention how Pat kept lying to novice James about how to play the game.James: Are skulls good?
- James and Mike have fun playing the Double Dragon Neo Geo movie-based fighting game...even as it resets on them halfway through (Neo Geo CD technology most likely.)
James: Can you imagine how this sounds in other parts of the house right now? It's like, "Nnnggghh!! Nnnnggh!! Take it, bitch!" (Mike laughs) It's like, "What the fuck's going on down there?!"
- "Burnov. He needs to burn off some fat."
- James and Mike both start grunting and shouting while playing, and eventually James addresses this:
- When James, Mike, Bootsy, and Kyle Justin were playing Krazy Kreatures, the whole discussion about whale penises, dolphin dick dildos, and dildo chess.
- Mike observes that one of the objects in the game looks like Freddy Freaker, and he and James proceed to sing the jingle to the 1-900-490-FREAK commercial.
- Later in the video, Mike and Bootsy don't contribute much to the conversation because they're intensely focused on the game. Bootsy: "I'm so far from reality right now."
- In their playthrough of The Legend of Zelda on the original Famicom, James killed Pols Voices by shouting "FUCK" into the second controller's microphone.
- James and Mike playing Doki Doki Panic on a glitchy Famicom Disk System that occasionally breaks down, and putting up with the eye-raping waterfall background.
- It was uploaded on a Wednesday, but the "James & Mike Bonus" video of Explosive Fighter Patton on the FDS is hilarious. James & Mike are just trying to figure out why the "Flip the disk" message says "INSEFT [sic] TO FUCKING BOX".
Mike: I'm inserting it into the FUCKING box...
- When they finally finish talking about that message and get ready to play the actual game, they follow the game's example and engage in some gratuitous cursing themselves:
James: The FUCKING box, you ASSHOLE.
Mike: [holding up the game for the camera] Here's the game...
James: You fucking shit! Bastard, fucking shit...
Mike: ...I'm gonna insert it into the fucking box.
James: [starts to crack up again and shakes his head]
Mike: Here you go, just listen. There you go, I just inserted it into the FUCKING box.
James: Are you happy, game?
- James, Mike, and special guest star Ryan Schott of Cinemassacre.com play Indiana Jones and the Infernal Machine, and only a few minutes into the video, are bitten by a snake. The three are confused why their health meter keeps dropping, even after they start a new life, and finally Ryan wonders if this is because of the snake bite. So the trio reset the game and try again, this time making doubly sure not to get bit again. And they do good for a while... before being bit again by a different snake.
- In the same video, a game glitch caused Indy to sink through the ground when dying.
- Also in the video, there's a brief cutscene of Indy swinging to a platform with his whip as a sparsely-orchestrated snippet of the Raiders theme plays. Mike and Ryan crack up at it.
- In Total Carnage when Mike goes completely off-topic to share a dream he had as a teen where he invited The Three Stooges to the last day of high school. Keep in mind, this story takes up a good half of the video. He even lampshades how his story is completely separate from the craziness happening on-screen.
- Jackie Chan's Action Kung Fu: James and Mike trying to say "slipperier" and eventually devolving into imitating the gibberish vocals in Star Fox.
- When reviewing Metroid, the topic again gets onto turds, and Mike asks, "What is wrong with us?!"
- The second half of the video is James playing the game solo, since Mike had to duck out. When facing the final boss, James seemed to be channeling his Angry Video Game Nerd character in a couple instances.
- Doug Walker and James play American Gladiators, and both are amused by the Stock Scream when a player falls off the platform in the Joust minigame. This leads Doug to say, "I wanna hear the scream", and immediately notes how saying that makes them sound like psychopaths. Then it cues a slow-motion, lower-pitched replay of Doug saying, "I wanna hear the scream."
- James actually plays a good game for the first time in a while, with Donkey Kong Country. During one level, James makes an off-hand remark about how this level reminds him of dog farts. Mike's utterly baffled, so James explains how one of his memories of playing the game as a kid involved his dog being gassy while he was playing this level.
- Towards the end of Star Wars (Famicom), James talked about a time when he was watching the original Scooby-Doo cartoon with his toddler-aged daughter. One episode that they watched contained Scrappy-Doo, and she started mocking Scrappy's catchphrase of "Puppy power!" with "Poopy power!" instead. He said that he almost corrected her... but then realized that she was making her first poop joke and laughed along with her instead.
- While playing LEGO Star Wars, James and Mike spend most of the video deliberately trying to kill Jar-Jar Binks, leading to James telling a story about one time in college when the two of them were so pissed off about The Phantom Menace that they threw a VHS tape of the film down the stairs, and then put it in the microwave.
- While playing Killing Time, James brought up the BFG from Doom. At the time, he didn't know what it stood for, until he went over to a friend's house and the friend's dad clued him in: "You know what that stands for, doncha? (quietly) Big fucking gun." James was like, "Wow, your dad's cool!"
- Supreme Warrior: Mike causing James to get the giggles by imitating the ineffective kung fu moves featured in the game.
- As they attempt to play a malfunctioning Metroid II: Return of Samus cartridge in a Super Game Boy, James goes off on a tangent about historical film colorization techniques. While he rambles on, Mike tunes him out and uses the Super Game Boy's built in art program to doodle Link flipping off a lightsaber-wielding firebreathing demon.
- Goat Simulator: James has absolutely no idea what's going to happen when they start and the two of them spend the entire video in hysterics.
- Special mention goes to the last three minutes, when James starts a new game with different options enabled and ends up controlling a goat's legs attached to a spiky microwave. Just look at it. And when the thing goes airborne while making Darth Vader-esque hissing noises, the two really lose it.
- James and Mike break out the infamous Power Glove and U-Force. What follows are exercises in frustration and hilarity as they try to play Super Mario Bros., Castlevania, Gauntlet, and as the cherry on the sundae, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.
- Who's Your Daddy: A game where one player is a suicidal baby and the other player is the father trying to keep him out of harm's way. At one point, after the baby has died numerous times:James: Lemme tell ya, it's hard being a dad, but it's not this hard to be a dad!
Mike: Because the baby's not actually trying to kill itself.
James: The baby's not flyin' around the room!
James: Is that what I think it is?!
- Things really get hilarious when Mike's character opens a nightstand drawer and finds a pink rubber dildo.
- Hot off the heels of the AVGN review of Beavis and Butt-Head (Genesis), James and Mike play it on this show Note . Of special mention are two instances where the duo die for seemingly no reason Note , and on the second instance James hits an instant replay and still can't figure it out.
- Wii Car Adapter: The last couple minutes when they actually try it out. Contains hilarious use of miniatures.
- Eternal Champions: The duo make a big point off the top about how hard the stage fatalities are to execute properly, only to get one right on the first try. And then they successfully do subsequent fatalities. After a particularly gruesome one where a character falls down a blade-filled shaft and is repeatedly stripped of flesh until just the skull is left:James: The pit from Mortal Kombat is pussy shit now. THAT's a fucking pit! Mortal Kombat's for pussies! This is a REAL fuckin' game! (tiger growl sound effect)
- Most of Abobo's Big Adventure
Mike: [after getting the beef] Have some beef, bitch! I really hope my girlfriend's not upstairs listening to the conversation. Have some beef, bitch!
- Particularly in the Zelda level:
- When playing Road Runner on NES, Mike once again accidentally says an innuendo when he tells James to "eat the seed". And later, James says "I just ate a lot of fuckin' seed." Cue zoom-in on Mike's grinning face.
- Peter Jackson's King Kong on PS2: Mike getting really excited about Kong snapping a T-rex's neck. Followed by the two emitting a chest-beating roar.
- When playing Dr. Mario, the duo go off on a tangent about The Karate Kid and its similarities to Rocky. This leads to them bringing up Bullet to the Head and that nobody saw it. Then they do Stallone impressions to each other, culminating with a parody of the Rocky line "That's right, it STINKS!": "YOUR movie stinks!"
- The duo play Blue's Journey and are utterly perplexed by the ending, especially since they're not given enough time to read the text. Note
- Dungeons and Dragons: Shadow over Mystara: Mike doing William Shatner as Jack Nicholson in The Shining, then following it up with Pee Wee Herman doing Jack.
- "Sailing" starts out fairly slowly, but when the duo play a different game, "Tell Me Why", it gets significantly funnier, especially when they lose it over the bad jokes on the menu screen.
Mike: So we were thinking of playing Super Metroid but we decided to play this instead.James: This is the worst idea ever. This video is going to be the video that tanks Cinemassacre.
- James and Mike have this exchange during Sailing's lecture about the importance of keeping fire extinguishers on your sailboat:
Mike: Am I dead yet? Can ya kill me?
- Around the end of the episode, Mike eventually loses his calm during the information on cabbages, and is just about done with the "game."
- While playing Super Metroid, James and Mike get into a discussion about actors reprising roles from years before, and start brainstorming. James comes up with The Karate Adult with Ralph Macchio, and Mike comes up with Brent Spiner in Grumpy Old Data.
- While playing A Week with Garfield, Mike has an Ask a Stupid Question... moment where he (seemingly non-sarcastically) asks James if he can think of any bad games that got released on NES.
- For Wario's Woods, James and Mike try to figure out the whole gameplay, since they hadn't played the game beforehand. After a match, James tries to explain how to get a bomb to match up with a tall column of monsters that have the same color, in a similar fashion to Doc Brown, causing Mike to laugh just trying to understand what he's saying.
- The Rocketeer: James and Mike discussing about making a fart album. Just.. the entire part.
- The last few minutes of Haunting Starring Polterguy had Mike putting on a Halloween mask. Mike joked that it was a "Sylvester Stallone mask" but James took it seriously and was baffled why it looked nothing like him, all while Mike laughed himself silly at James's priceless reaction.
- When the duo played Simon's Destiny, Mike told James to check out a room with a secret switch. Said switch activated a giant middle finger, followed by James Rolfe's head saying "That was some turkey! Haha!" James couldn't believe his eyes.James: WHAT?! Did that just happen? Did that SERIOUSLY just happen?! (laughs)
- Their playing of Gremlins 2: The New Batch is interrupted by a "This video is unavailable." After a few seconds, Shitpickle and R.O.B. the Robot pop up and address the viewer. Followed by Hulk Hogan!
- When discussing movie sequels and reboots, James wonders if they're going to make an Air Force Two.
- Amazing Frog. Just, all of it.James: (laughing) Where do you find this stuff?!
- When the duo played Lords of Thunder, they went off on a tangent about Hell and Satan while they're playing a stage with a fire background. Mike thinks it would be cool to be one of "Satan's dudes", hanging out playing poker. (in demonic voice) "YEAH, I'LL BE OVER FRIDAY NIGHT." And then segue into which game system Satan would probably play. James guesses CDi; Mike thinks he would make you watch him play Super Mario Bros. 3.
- My Horse Prince, a particularly infamous mobile game about a young girl who dates Yuuma, a horse with a human Bishōnen face. The part where Yuuma forcefully feeds the girl green onions (to the point where she exclaims, "He's going to kill me!") was enough to break Mike and James.
- Getting Over It was one of those games where the duo had a hard time getting past the first screen, a giant mountain of rocks and trash. More than once, they fell all the way back to the bottom and had to start all over again. Their many reactions are priceless.
- The Rocketeer (SNES) had the duo struggling to finish the first level (an airplane race), being confused as what they were supposed to do. Mike manages to beat it, only for the second level to be exactly the same as the first. Cue the screaming.
- James ran out of time to beat Mega Man X because he had to watch the kids. He resumed fighting the final boss at 4 in the morning, and again at 6 because his youngest started crying on the baby monitor.
- James and Mike try out some unofficial mods for Grand Theft Auto V, including playing as Kermit the Frog, The Pink Panther, Slimer, and a realistic duck.
- When playing Demons to Diamonds on Atari 2600, James and Mike make a bet: loser has to play Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde for 5 minutes. Mike loses and gets through the first level of Jekyll & Hyde with ease before his allotted time is up, but James shuts the NES off before Mike gets the chance to ask him if he wants to try the second level. Mike says it's the fastest he's ever seen James get up to turn off a game.
- Instruments of Chaos Starring Young Indiana Jones: Three moments in particular:
- The two getting the giggles at Indy's death by lightning on a bridge.
- More giggles at Indy flailing while stuck in a hole.
- After Mike does really well on one level, he's knocked all the way down to the bottom of the level by "Dick Tracy".
- The Pagemaster: Even with the help of special guest Macaulay Culkin, James and Mike can't even get past the first level due to a dripping acid glob that kills them instantly. Then a fly buzzes into James' basement and starts distracting them. Mac even references the famous Breaking Bad episode with the fly.
- The duo play the Super Mario World hack "Brutal Super Mario World". Everything is mostly normal until they get to a world boss that looks nothing like traditional Mario bosses (it's actually a re-colored version of Mammon Machine from Chrono Trigger). Mike says in a disturbed tone: "That's not from Mario..."
- Mike touts Batman and Robin (PS1) as one of the best Batman games ever made. James believes him and spends the first few minutes struggling with the controls. After six minutes, Mike finally comes clean that he's just messing with him:James: This is supposed to be good?!
Mike: ...Have you ever done with a video with me before? This is the worst Batman game ever.
James: [...] So why wasn't this on AVGN? This is terrible!
- This part of a crazy course in Super Mario Maker 2 has James speechless.
- Skyblazer: A section of platform hopping requiring incredibly fast timing causes the two lots of pain. After one failed try, Mike screams "FUCK!" abruptly, then immediately realizes it was louder than usual and apologizes. It even spooks James!