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Funny / JAG

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Funny moments from JAG:

  • In the pilot, Harm, who was previously a fighter pilot before becoming a lawyer, naturally ends up Falling into the Cockpit while going for a ride-along on a combat recon mission and his pilot (Captain Boone) is wounded. He radios back to the Seahawk to pass on some vital information to Lieutenant Pike, who only now learns that Harm has had to take control of the jet.
  • The pilot also firmly establishes Bud's chronic case of foot-in-mouth-syndrome, with his constantly finding exactly the wrong thing to say to Lieutenant Pike when it comes to finding her a uniform to wear on the Seahawk, due to her spectacular attributes on a ship with very few female crewmembers. And to think that Public Affairs is supposed to be Bud's job.
    • When him and Sims share a room, he thinks he rented Free Willy, but ended up getting a porn flick called "Free the Willy" instead. The shocked looks on both of their faces seal the deal.
  • Again from the pilot, Lt. Arutti nearly falls to her death due to a mis-step on the Seahawk's flight deck at night, but barely grabs onto a ladder and pulls herself to safety. The look she has just after would be hilarious, and the Mood Whiplash of her immediately being thrown overboard afterwards can be funny in a very bleak sort of way, particularly due to the show's close relationship with Narm and hokey special effects.
  • In first season episode “High Ground”, master sniper Gunnery Sergeant Ray Crockett, who’s gone vigilante (long story), catches the team who are supposed to catch him. He tells over their radio that they better bring body bags out here. The message is taken quite seriously as everyone assumes the Gunny to be Ax-Crazy at this point. However when the chopper returns it turns out that the gunny only took their gear and clothing, as they wear nothing more than body bags.
  • From "Deja Vu", Meg lampshades the sexual tension between Harm and a woman he met at an embassy dinner:
    Harm: We were just talking.
    Meg: Harm, you and I are just talking. You and she were tangoing across the dance floor half-naked, one foot in the nearest bedroom.
    • This was before Meg dropped the bombshell on Harm, letting him know that he was just flirting with the Thai Ambassador's wife.
    • Later on, they need to get some information from a civilian detective who is stonewalling them in their investigation because its in his jurisdiction and not theirs. Meg is on the phone while putting on a red dress explaining to Harm how she is going to try to persuade the cop to help them. Harm guesses that this will involve wearing a dress. She denies this, and goes on to tell Harm how she is going to be so subtle the detective will never know what's happening. Harm, undeterred, asks her if the dress is red.
      • To add insult to injury, the detective sees right through her plan.
  • In "Pilot Error", Harm is attempting to clear the name of his friend, a deceased pilot, when he's blamed for a crash while testing a new auto-navigation system. He decides to fly the same mission, which involved making 5 "traps" (carrier landings) and then flying the auto-nav route. Harm's RIO is less than impressed with his landings.
    (First hard landing)
    Harm: Sorry, I'm a little rusty.
    Lt. McKee: You're not rusty, Lieutenant, you're corroded.
    (Fifth hard landing)
    Lt. McKee: Thank God that's over, you're making me wish I'd joined the Air Force!
    • The same episode has McKee get into an argument with a Marine officer in a bar that leads up to her punching him, more than once. Harm intervenes, and gets slugged by the Marine for his trouble. The next night, McKee is at the same bar with Meg Austin, and runs into the same Marine as before. The Marine then politely apologizes for his behavior the night before and invites her to have a drink with him, which McKee declines.
    McKee: Marines. You know, they're the only species on the planet that will develop a crush on you if you punch them out?
    • Harm compares their investigation to the film Fate is the Hunter, and when the reference falls flat on Meg, Harm explains it to her. Later on, Meg proudly throws the same comparison out to someone else, who also doesn't get it, and explains it to them while Harm looks on incredulously.
  • One episode has Harm firing a submachine gun he loads into the courtroom ceiling. Mac, for her part, goes diving under the table when this happens. When she later claims that Marines don't "duck", Harm asks her what Marines do.
    Mac: They take cover, but they never duck.
    • Related to the above, a number of episodes where a major problem could have been easily solved by calling the judge and asking him to reschedule a hearing were able to Hand Wave that away by pointing out that it was the same judge who was in the courtroom that day, and he still hasn't forgiven Harm for the incident with the gun.
  • There is a Running Gag where Harm is about to look at his watch, only for Mac to immediately tell him what time it is, down to the minute. Without having to look at her own watch. At one point, Harm just gives her a look, and she shrugs it off with "It's a Marine thing." US Marine Corps. Most badass timekeepers around.
  • The Screaming Birth in "Yeah, Baby." Everything seems to go wrong. Harriet goes into labor on a high floor of the building while the elevator doesn't work. She tries to get down the stairs but can't. Harm and Mac get her into the Admiral's office. They get Mick to try to deliver the baby, but he reveals he only delivered sheep down in Australia. They get him out of the room. They get Tiner to try to deliver the baby, but he faints. Finally, enter the most unlikely midwife of all, Chegwidden. He promptly takes over and delivers the baby.
    Chegwidden: Push, Lieutenant! That's an order!
  • When The War on Terror begins two idiots are brought in for dueling. Yes, with sabres. Mac despairs at such an incident during such a serious time and when she tries to understand that pride was at stake (over whose great-great grandfather was right in a Civil War naval engagement) she's told she's not a man. Her almost pitying look and tone make her words priceless.
    "For which I thank God every day."
  • Then there was the time Mac was on a submarine, and the crew thought to use the trash compactor while she slept. her reaction.
    • The sailors go from smiling frat boys (since she was in just her t-shirt and underwear) to terrified recruits the minute she barks "Snap to!" and proceeds to chew them out in a way that would make any Drill Sergeant Nasty proud.
  • "War Cries" takes place at the US Embassy in Peru, where the capital has turned into a powder keg after a Marine sentry shoots and kills a boy at night who he claims opened fire on him first. The Ambassador is a stressed out Lady Drunk who tends to get funnier the longer the episode continues, drinking scotch while on the phone with the State Department trying to get herself out of danger. The head of the Marine embassy guard is a very gruff Sergeant Rock who rubs pretty much everyone the wrong way. As it happens, the Snark-to-Snark Combat between the two is comedy gold in an otherwise very serious episode.
    • At one point, the Ambassador asks what sort of retaliation they can expect after the shooting, and the Gunnery Sergeant suggests a bomb, assassination, [Beat] poisoned drink. The Ambassador (who had just been taking another sip of her scotch, stops, slowly turns towards the Gunny, and hisses at him.
    • Later on, the Ambassador is putting on a Bulletproof Vest, and asks the obvious question:
    Ambassador Bartlett: What if someone aims at my head?
    Gunnery Sgt. Granger: Duck, ma'am.
    • Finally, after the Ambassador's convoy is attacked, and her life saved by the vest and the quick actions of her Marines and the JAG lawyers, the first thing she does upon returning to the Embassy is call the State Department to find out what sort of decoration or award an Ambassador gets for getting shot in the line of duty (she is disappointed to learn that she can't get the Purple Heart because she's not in the military).
  • "Hemlock" is an otherwise fairly serious episode, but one scene midway through has Harm and Krennick conferring when they're informed that Admiral Chegwidden wants to see them. Noting that he's never in this early, the two officers look at each other for a moment before Krennick begins organizing the mess on her desk and Harm produces an electric razor from somewhere to make sure he's clean-shaven.
  • Poor, poor Burpy Bear. He got mind-raped by the CIA all because he recorded sensitive information. And he's just a toy. And poor Bud could say nothing to prevent it, as he was still recovering from a toothache.
  • After Rabb and Mac discuss their baby "arrangement" in "Standards of Conduct," Rabb starts seeing Mac heavily pregnant. Later, he dreams that the entire female staff at JAG, and his ex-girlfriend, all pregnant (and Coates just a day from delivery). Funnier when it is known that Catherine Bell was pregnant at the end of the the season.
  • Lots of yuks in the “JAG-athon” episode! Gunny and Tiner both fall over while trying to beat each other in the race. The admiral grumbles at SECNAV, Mac sets up Harm to be delayed by the Nurse with Good Intentions client he just got off, and ultimately, none of them win the race.
  • In "Adrift Part 2" episode, when Skates finally manages to awake a hypothermic Harm, he asks her 'have we dated?'