- Charlie Day dealing with Danny DeVito's contract.Danny: (hands Charlie a jar of Vaseline) Here, lube up those lips.
- Special mention goes to DeVito's wife, Rhea Perlman, being cool with the idea of Charlie blowing her husband enough to want to film it, and the surprise appearance of Fred Savage, chowing down on pizza, "just here to watch".
- "The Gang Ruins Easter"◊
- This interview with the actors of the McPoyles in which Jimmi Simpson plays a Cloud Cuckoolander version of himself who apparently does business.
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- The Gang Gets Racist: "How's that ASS feel?" (smack)
- Everything Charlie says after agreeing to date a teenage gossip addict in "Underage Drinking: A National Concern", as well as the final shot of Mac showing up stag to the high school dance. (Neither of these are flashbacks.)
- Dee asks Dennis if he's really going to throw away all of his convictions for a chance to get laid at an anti-abortion rally. His response?Dennis (laughs) I don't really have any convictions.
- "Dennis and Dee Go On Welfare": Every scene with Charlie and Mac in the limousine.
Dennis: "Crack..."Dee: "Crack... crack... crack..."
- Frank revealing that due to the events of the episode, he's promoting Charlie to management because he "had a lot of balls stealing my money" while simultaneously giving Mac nothing for the exact same reason and reassigning Dennis and Dee to "Charlie Work" because their unemployment scam led to them becoming crackheads. This leaves Dennis and Dee dumbfounded and weakly muttering their final lines in the episode:
- Basically every scene of Dee (and Charlie, for that matter) when they're jacked up on steroids in "Hundred Dollar Baby." The (arguably) funniest scene occurs when Dee's rival states that she "looks like a Holocaust victim wearing pageant makeup" to which Dee replies "I WILL EAT YOUR BABIES, BITCH!"
Mugger: Nice friends.
- Also the scene where a crackhead mugger threatens the gang and they throw Dee to the ground and run off, completely abandoning her.
- The end of "The Gang Gives Back." As part of court-ordered community service for what they did to the Israeli man who threatened to take their bar, Mac, Dennis and Dee are required to coach dual basketball teams at the local rec center, Dennis coaching one team, Mac and Dee coaching the other. Frank decides to get in on this by betting on the game with his gambling-addicted, chain-smoking Vietnamese friends, but he fixes the game by giving Dennis' star player a bike in exchange for staying out of it. After realization of this disadvantage, Dennis teaches his team to play dirty, and Mac and Dee do the same. Meanwhile, Charlie was court-ordered to join Alcoholics Anonymous, where he meets the Waitress and tries to stalk her there. When he lets out that Dennis is coaching a community basketball team, she attends the game to see him coach. Jealous, Charlie offers to referee the game and shows up drunk out of his mind. The results have to be seen to believed.Charlie: (to the Waitress) Do you see what you've done?!
- At one point, Charlie up and takes the ball, and tries to make a basket... by throwing it directly into the rim of the hoop.
- In "The Gang Runs for Office", when Charlie isn't happy that Dennis decided to just drop out of being a comptroller, especially when he traded his entire "savings" to save Dennis from a smear campaign. His reaction? He takes off one of his shoes, shows it to Dennis, and proceeds to slam the shoe repeatedly against the counter top.
- Dennis reads the campaign speech Charlie wrote, while Charlie mouths the speech in the background:"Hello fellow American. This you should vote me. I leave power. Good. Thank you, thank you. If you vote me, I'm hot." What? "Taxes, they'll be lower... son. The Democratic vote for me is right thing to do Philadelphia, so do."
- Apparently that whole speech was actually improvised by Glenn; Charlie Day barely managed to avoid cracking up.
- Dennis reads the campaign speech Charlie wrote, while Charlie mouths the speech in the background:
- Charlie letting the 'miracle' go to his head in "The Gang Exploits a Miracle." Everything from becoming convinced he might be the Messiah to claiming that he's "gay for God."
- The end of "Charlie Goes America All Over Everybody's Ass." Frank gets sent to the basement of Paddy's to run his gambling operations. After deciding to evacuate everyone from the bar, Dennis and Mac go to the basement to find that Frank has spread his gambling to Russian Roulette. He spins a revolver and gives it to a participant and off screen we hear a gunshot and a thud. The fact that all of Frank's "friends" in that basement are Vietnamese, along with the fact that Frank is wearing a pair of sunglasses with one of the lenses popped out and smoking a cigarette, makes that scene also a Shout-Out to the most famous scene from the end of The Deer Hunter.
- "Dennis and Dee Get a New Dad": When Dennis and Dee tell Frank they have something disturbing to tell him, Frank immediately assumes that they are banging each other.
Mac: This is our chance to get hard!Charlie: I just don't know if this is the best way to get hard.Mac: Of course it is. This is totally hard. Look, you wanna get hard, don't you?Charlie: Oh, I want to get hard. I want to get very, very hard.
- Frank's unforgettable reaction to finding out he's not Dennis and Dee's real father.
- Mac and Charlie agree that guys in prison are hard (read: tough). Thus, they want to find ways to prove how hard they are.
- From "The Gang Finds A Dumpster Baby":Frank: What the hell is that?Mac: It's a baby we found in the dumpster.Frank: Well, put it back, it doesn't belong to you.
- "The Gang Gets Invincible": The football tryouts are relocated, so Frank tells Charlie to pack the van so they can follow the bus. Charlie doesn't want to do it but Frank keeps badgering him until Charlie lets out an aggravated "AAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!" and gets up.
- The Coach. He manages to scream almost every line he's got without being overly hammy, and scares the shit out of the protagonists.
- When the gang goes to football tryouts, Frank and Charlie drop acid. Frank gets trapped in a bathroom and is too high to get out. He sees a woman who tells him to get out through the toilet. Later it's revealed that all of this is in his head and he's just standing in a garbage bin, asking the rest of the Gang how they got into the bathroom.
- "Dennis and Dee's Mom is Dead": Barbara's will is downright hilarious.Lawyer: Frank, if your fat monkey heart is still beating, then congratulations. I want you to know that I hereby leave all of your money to Bruce Mathis, the real father of my children. A handsome man with a beautiful soul and a nicer penis. For my darling son, Dennis, I give you my house, on the sole condition that Frank not be allowed in. Deandra, you get nothing. You were a disappointment and a mistake.
- Ryan stabbing Liam in the arm in "The Gang Gets Held Hostage".Liam: You were supposed to stab one of them!
- The Literal Cliffhanger, which is subverted when Ryan only drops a story and lands on the street without injury.
- The ending, where it's revealed to be a prank, and the McPoyles run screaming in victory on the streets. They're only wearing bathrobes while doing this, mind you.
- The last few minutes of "The Aluminum Monster vs. Fatty Magoo." After Dennis rejects all the other models for his dress, the audience is treated to a scene of a shirtless Dennis putting on lipstick in a mirror and giving himself a motivational speech about how he "hasn't even begun to peak" with "Together Forever" by Rick Astley in the background.
- And then, minutes later, Dennis bursts into Ingrid's office in full drag, complete with what looks like basketballs in his chest, while the rest of the Gang just stares blankly at him and "Together Forever" continues to blast. Cue credits.
- "Frank Sets Sweet Dee on Fire" - the moment where...well, Frank causes Dee to catch fire as she attempts to save a box of kittens, which she proceeds to hurl because she's on fire.
- And, of course, the title card, which is immediately preceded by Frank innocuously asking "How's anybody gonna get hurt?"
- Dennis' entire speech on twinks and bears and other gay slang on "The Gang Sells Out."
- The entire episode of "Sweet Dee is Dating a Retarded Person" is hilarious from start to finish.
Mac: It sounds like a song where a guy breaks into your house and rapes you.Charlie: What, dude? Where are you getting that from? It's just two men sharing the night/It might seem wrong but it's just right/It's just two men sharing each other/It's just two men like loving brothers...
- Charlie playing his "Nightman" song (and being oblivious to the rapey undertones of the lyrics) in "Sweet Dee is Dating a Retarded Person".
Lil' Kev: Just one question, Dee / before you take your bow / This gravy train's leavin', / so who's retarded now?
- The final verses of Lil' Kev's Take That! rap to Dee:
- In "Mac is a Serial Killer", there's a serial killer in the area hunting young, attractive blonde women, and Dee is worried that she might get attacked. Everyone claims that she doesn't fit the profile at all ("You're blonde and a woman, but that's hardly enough"), and it's forgotten about. They suspect Mac is the killer (he's hiding the fact that he's dating a pre-op transgender woman) so they decide to stage an intervention. But they don't want to do it at one of their places (Frank has a chainsaw he's itching to use if Mac gets feisty), so they use the apartment that Dee is supposed to be housesitting for some guy who's obviously in love with her. They go to the apartment, do the intervention, and of course it turns out Mac's not the killer. Charlie goes to see if there's any food in the fridge, and finds the severed heads of young, attractive blonde women. Then the owner comes home. The episode ends with Frank revving up the chainsaw.
- "Pepper Jack love Fraggle Rock!"
- "Dennis Looks Like a Registered Sex Offender": The reaction on Mrs. Mac when Mac says: "You guys haven't seen each other in so long, huh? It's exciting!" Mrs. Mac merely coughs out a puff of smoke.
- To try to differentiate himself from the sex offender that looks like him, Dennis goes to the park and teach the kids about fitness. Dennis (wearing a fake pedostache) takes off his shirt and tells the kids about the proper way to do exercises, which is mistaken for flirting (especially after Dee goes to a group of dads and informs them that she's a social worker trying to rehabilitate sex offenders who were just released from prison and points out that one of her patients is Dennis). The parents are not pleased.
- Dennis and Dee threatening to get the doppelganger sex offender put back in jail by hiring a little boy who's been trained to tell the authorities about all the sexual stuff he does to him (showing him "movies with funny naked people in them", making him taste things he doesn't want to, giving him juice boxes that make him sleepy, etc).
- "The Gang Gets Whacked". Charlie and Dee witness Rickety Cricket upon giving him cocaine. The all-definite proof that drug use can be hilarious.
Jockey: So come on you old son of a gun - And let Buster do a line off your boner.(Beat) Charlie breathes in and walks away without saying a word.
- Frank escalating Dennis's "handsome companion" job: "No more dinners. We're going straight to bangin' from now on." Then when Frank says Dennis can still have his rules about what he'll do for money, Dennis points to the classified ad that Frank made: "NO RULES".
- "Mac and Dennis: Manhunters": When Cricket escapes Mac and Dennis by jumping onto an apartment ladder and heading towards the roof. The two didn't expect that ("Okay, how did his legs just do that?" "I'm not doing that, Dennis.") and give up immediately.
- "The Gang Solves the Gas Crisis": Charlie's increasingly Chaotic Stupid behavior reaches its climax when he reveals he cut the brakes on the Gang's getaway van, because:
- "Mac's Banging the Waitress": When trying to find a hiding spot, Charlie says that laying flat on his bed like a starfish would be the best place, Dennis saying the opposite. When Mac and the Waitress enter, they don't notice the Charlie and Dennis conspicuously on the bed until Mac lifts the cover, revealing the two in an incredibly awkward position.Dennis:Goddammit, Charlie, I knew we shouldn't have done this in the bed! Why'd you have to get on top of me?
- In "America's Next Top Paddy's Billboard Model Contest", Dee tries to make a viral video. Something about the emphasis just perfects Mac's reaction:Mac: Dee, there are a million videos on the Internet. Who gives a shit?
- Frank's statement "Dennis, your mule is shit. I'm no longer turned on by mules."
- "Mac and Charlie Die: Part One": Charlie nonchalantly pulling out his loose teeth.
- Charlie's and Mac's outrageously ridiculous plan to fake their deaths.
- And the pitiful "explosion" that the grenade caused to Dee's car: It just lets a puff of smoke and caused the car to bounce a little, and the horn to briefly honk. Then Mac tries to shoot the gas tank to cause an explosion that way, but keeps missing and uses up all the bullets. So not like the movies where everything's Made of Explodium.
- "Mac and Charlie Die: Part 2" - Frank playing with the Charlie mannequin and Frank imitating Charlie's high whiny voice. And it's heavily implied that, unlike with Dennis trying to find a new roommate, Frank honestly did think that Mac and Charlie were dead.
- Mac and Charlie talk Dee into taking part in their "pretending to be dead" deal, which she does by telling Dennis she's going to jog through the park at night. Dennis actually thought she died.
- The Reveal: at the end of part 1, Mac's dad was seen writing a letter to his son. That letter said he was leaving Mac and Charlie alone by leaving town.
- The entirety of "Who Pooped the Bed?", especially Dee's Freak Out! over poop at an art gallery and Artemis' whodunit-style summation that turns out be as wrong as it is farfetched. Toilet Humor doesn't get much funnier than this.
- The scene where the alleged scientist checks the poop.
- And when the scientist describes the contents of the poop, Frank keeps admitting that the results (newspaper, pieces of a credit card, wolf hair) are inconclusive, grossing out Dennis.
- The scene where the alleged scientist checks the poop.
- "Paddy's Pub: The Worst Bar in Philadelphia": Mac admits that the feeling of getting stabbed in the bar is the kind of atmosphere he's been trying to cultivate.
Dee: I didn't feel like opening up a bottle of wine so I brought you some scotch 'cause I feel like that's what writers should drink.
- The reveal that Charlie's holding a hammer when he, Dennis, and Dee visit the critic who gave their pub a bad review.
- When Dee serves Corman scotch:
Dennis: Hey, some top-shelf scotch.
Corman: Uh, I don't drink scotch.
Dee: Well, you don't have to be a dick about it.
- "Dennis Reynolds: An Erotic Life": Sweet Dee getting dry heaves while attempting stand-up comedy.
Dee: This is cat food, Charlie.
- Sinbad in general.
- Dee spends the night at Charlie's apartment to live in his shoes. He offers her something to eat before bed:
Charlie: Dee, I can't explain it, all right? There's some sort of weird chemical reaction that happens when you combine cat food, beer and glue. It makes you feel, like, extremely sick and tired, then you're able to fall asleep!
Dee: Why would I want to make myself extremely sick and tired?
Charlie: 'Cause there's going to be about fifty cats howling outside that window all night long, and you have no idea how loud fifty cats can be!
Dee: Okay, maybe there wouldn't be cats surrounding your building if you didn't have open cans of cat food everywhere!
Charlie: I have fifty cats howling outside my window because I have 10,000 rats running around my building, Dee, okay?!
Dee: Stop yelling.
Charlie: I'm not an idiot! There's a reason to do the things that- oh! (Charlie's stomach growls right as a cat meows from outside) It's starting right on time. If I were you, I'd start wolfing that shit down.
- Then Frank enters moments later and immediately eats some cat food and goes straight to bed.
- "Sweet Dee Has a Heart Attack": Frank wearing a hospital gown, naked. He loves it lets your ass "breathe".
- Two words: Pepe Silvia.
- "The Gang Cracks the Liberty Bell": Dennis and Mac acting like fops to convince the British that they're on their side...only to be Mistaken for Gay by some guys on the street who tar and feather them. What makes it even funnier is the fact that the guys don't seem to notice them until Dennis instructs Mac to "flourish the pinky." They probably thought that Dennis and Mac were talking about some sort of sex act.
- Mac gets a set of wooden teeth as part of a plan to infiltrate the Founding Fathers, giving him a ridiculous-sounding lisp.
- "The Nightman Cometh" all the way through.
- Dee getting weirded out by the lyrics during her musical number: "Tiny boy, little boy, baby boy, I need you, tiny boy, little boy, want to make love to you, boy..."
- Frank messing up the lyrics "To get into this boy's soul, you've got to pay the troll toll" as "To get into this boy's hole, you've got to pay the troll toll." He does it in rehearsal and during the performance.
- "I WILL SMACK YOUR FACE, OFF OF YOUR FACE!!"
- The part where Mac leaps in bed with Dennis and the lights go out. Dennis says "Dude, do you have a boner?" to which Mac replies "Don't ruin this for me!"
- "The Gang Exploits The Mortgage Crisis" - This one line from Dee in the way she says it:Dee: Ohhh shit, is that a pool?!
- The entirety of "The Gang Hits the Road."
- "The Great Recession": Charlie's creepy Uncle Jack, who has rented out his old room and wants Charlie to share the room with him:Jack: You and me palling around, getting nuts, doing crazy, fun things.
Charlie: I'm not doing any kind of things that you want me to do with you, uncle Jack, you know?
Jack: No, it's, it's stuff that relatives do.
- The opening involving Frank attempting to hang himself. His thick neck prevents him from doing so.
- The gang advising the therapist to bring a gun to Frank's intervention.
- In the same episode, Mac getting grossed out by Frank's noxious belches, gurgling noises, and eventually foaming at the mouth.
- "Oh, whoops, ooh! I dropped... my monster condom that I use for my magnum dong!"
- In "The Waitress Is Getting Married," Dennis and Mac set up a Match.com profile for Charlie, and get some weird answers. Such as: Favorite food: "Milksteak"; favorite hobby: "Magnets"; what are some of your likes: "Ghouls"; what are your dislikes: "People's knees".
Charlie: I'm a full-on rapist.Note You know? Africans, dyslexics, children, that sort of thing.
- The funniest part of the dating profile scene isn't so much Charlie's answers as it is Mac and Dennis's increasingly exasperated responses to Charlie's increasingly absurd answers.
- This leads to Charlie's disastrous date:
- He's also bleeding due to hornet stings and sweating profusely through his shirt, claims he ate an entire block of cheese before arriving, and then admits to his date after botching the philanthropist lie that he's a janitor at a bar. Somehow, she doesn't ditch him, and Charlie meets Dennis and Mac in the bathroom where, due to his shirt being covered in sweat, he asks Dennis to give him his (completely different) shirt. Upon coming back out, Charlie orders milksteak and then stabs at his date's breasts when told to "make a move," which is when she finally leaves.
- Dee stopping her car on a narrow street with cars behind her to invite the waitress and her fiancee to her apartment for a party. She even blames the two for holding up traffic. And when she goes back to her car, she tells the cars behind her: "Oh calm down, dickwads, it wasn't that bad!"
- Mac's letter to Chase Utley in "The World Series Defense". Most of the court is in stitches by the time Dee finishes reading it out loud.
- In "The Gang Wrestles For The Troops", Frank welcoming Ben the soldier (who just got dumped by Dee after she saw him in a wheelchair) home by inviting him to a wrestling match, presenting him with a gift of a pair of jean shorts and awkwardly saluting him to "A Kiss From A Rose" by Seal.
- And then when Dee tries to salvage the situation for her own selfish reasons by revealing herself as the real Desert Rose and serenading Ben with the same song, Rickety Cricket immediately blasts her in the face with a steel chair.
- Mac, Dennis, and Charlie's awkward "Birds of War" eagle routine before the wrestling match.
- I'M THE TRASHMAN!
- "Paddy's Pub: Home of the Original Kitten Mittens": Charlie's "Kitten Mittons" commercial.
- "Mac and Dennis Break Up":
Frank: This place is tits!
- When Mac cleans Charlie and Frank's squalor of an apartment:
- "The Gang Reignites the Rivalry": "I'm cutting off the bottom half of his shower curtain, that way when he takes a shower, everyone will see his junk!"
- To top it all off, the rival that the gang was trying to intimidate into performing in a flip-cup tournament finally caved in after having his house vandalized and his business slandered/wrecked, only for the gang to nonchalantly declare that they were not only completely over the idea of playing flip-cup, they didn't even show up to the tournament because they all forgot the date of the event.
- How does the Gang win the tournament against the frat? By deliberately bombing by having Dee go first. After all, how else were they going to get the frat to drink poison?
- Plus, they start chanting "Flip, Flip, Flip-a-delphia!" while the rivals (and Dee) are vomiting.
- "The Gang Buys a Boat": Dee is stated to dance like the inflatable dancer seen in most used car lots, so naturally, one of these dancers is bought for the boat to prove the point. Later, when the boat goes up in flames, it's still dancing.
- The entire "implications" discussion between Mac and Dennis.
- "Mac and Charlie: White Trash": The part where Dennis makes a break for the pool and is immediately grabbed and thrown onto a table by a security guard. Dee and Frank stop dead in their tracks.
- Charlie telling Mac that he buys burner phones so he can keep calling the waitress without her blocking his number. Mac quickly retorts that doing so is so unbelievably trashy that it could be considered "felon class" trashy.
- The Unreliable Narrator parts of the 2010 Halloween episode "Who Got Dee Pregnant?" - culminating with Dee as an ostrich.
I can't believe it, man. She takes advantage of me. She's like, "Oh, my God, you look so sexy! I'm gonna sex you all up!". I'm like, "You're just my friend! Get your sex off me!". And then she gets all sexy with me, 'cause I've, like, got the sexiest costume in the world on! And I hate it!
- Charlie blubbering about being taken advantage of in Dennis' flashback.
- The four guys visit the McPoyles because they were at the Halloween party and were sober. At one point, Mac admits that he had sex with Margaret, and Liam informs Mac that he still hasn't called Margaret back. Mac refuses to do so, and Liam shouts, "YOU WILL CALL HER!!!!"
- When Dennis looks ill after he thinks he had sex with his own sister, the McPoyles encourage him to vomit. Then when Dennis runs for the toilet, Liam tells him, "Don't flush."
- "Charlie Kelly: King of the Rats": Dee, Dennis, and Mac going through Charlie's dream journal and getting completely confused by the drawings in it: Denim chicken, a bird with teeth, and a worm hat.
- Later on, they try to give Charlie gifts based on his dream journal. The "worm hat" idea proved the hardest to get right due to Ambiguous Syntax, so they make gifts based on three possible interpretations: a hat made out of worms, a hat that makes you look like a worm, and a tiny hat that you could put on a worm.
- "The Gang Gets Stranded in the Woods": "We can't eat the rabbit! He's got Frank's soul!"
- When Dee sets the rabbit free, it's immediately snatched by a bird.
- In "Frank's Pretty Woman," Charlie vomits fake blood all over his date while acting as a Southern billionaire.Charlie: I THINK I'VE BEEN POISONED BY MY CONSTITUENTS!
- "The Gang Goes to the New Jersey Shore": "I'M SORRY, RUM HAM!"
- "Frank Reynolds' Little Beauties" is in a class all by itself.
- Special mention goes to the scene where Frank instructs Charlie to write a song about how he does not "diddle" kids. Mac points out that singing a song of that nature is the fastest way to convince people you're guilty, but Frank doesn't listen and devises a tune:Frank: Do not diddle kids, it's no good diddling kids! Wouldn't do anyone, younger than my daughter—no little kids, gotta be big, bigger than my daughter!
- Frank decides that having a full makeup job is the perfect way to convince everyone he's on the up-and-up. The problem? He gets a mortician to do it, so he looks like a walking corpse (and the mortician himself seems half-alive; at one point he asks Frank if he can go the bathroom to "moisten his mouth"). The Gang argues that it looks bad, but Frank ignores them and describes how when he's dead, he'll be totally fine with people doing all manner of horribly graphic sexual acts on his body...all of which is broadcast over his microphone.
- Special mention goes to the scene where Frank instructs Charlie to write a song about how he does not "diddle" kids. Mac points out that singing a song of that nature is the fastest way to convince people you're guilty, but Frank doesn't listen and devises a tune:
- The entire final scene of "Sweet Dee Gets Audited", where the gang stages a baby funeral (or, as they call it, "The darkest thing they've ever done," though, given the show, it'll get worse), qualifies, from the botched Product Placement of "Wolf Cola" ("It's the right cola...for closure") to the moment where Dennis throws chili powder in Dee's eyes to simulate crying, to the moment where a dead dog found in the alley flops out of the "baby"'s casket.
- Earlier on, Dee only helps Charlie and Mac after they agree to find a baby for her before the auditor arrives. They arrive late, barrelling through the door with a screaming baby that they've kidnapped. It turns out that it wasn't a baby at all and was just a pair of crucifixes in a blanket.
- Reggie getting beaten half to death, shot and arrested in "Frank's Brother" every time he tries to be nice and forgiving and in the last case as he's trying to leave it all behind him and get on with his life.
- "The Storm of the Century": "The Spaniards banged the Mayans, turned them into Mexicans."
- Charlie and Dennis head over to a police sketch artist to find the guy who was rude to them in "The ANTI-Social Network" , but the detective won't let them leave until they clarify what crime had been committed. Charlie says that they got raped, and Dennis immediately has to try and play along. Charlie then proceeds to tell the officers that Dennis got the brunt of it and while Dennis tries to downplay it, Charlie keeps upping the ante, telling him that Dennis' insides were turned into soup and that his dick was bitten off. At one point, Charlie puts his head down because he couldn't stop laughing.
So spread the word to all of your friends! At Paddy's Pub, you're guaranteed to catch a VIRUS!
- Frank's attempt at creating a viral video to advertise Paddy's Pub.
- The entirety of "The Gang Gets Trapped" is the gang avoiding being caught withCatLikeTread. Special mentions goes Frank bashing a voiced teddy bear, and hiding amongst a little girl's stuffed toys, and Charlie barreling into the twins' hiding place by going through the front door and looking into every closet until he found the one they were in.
- "Thunder Gun Express":No surrender, no surrender, no surre—[sees the cops] Oh... shit. I surrender!
- Context: The gang is trying to reach a movie they want to see across town. At one point, Frank is left behind, so he commandeers a boat full of tourists by sneaking aboard and revving up the engine when the real captain steps off (he covers his tracks by claiming to be "Captain" Frank, as "Captain Tom turned out to be a GODDAMN JUNKIE!"). What follows is a bizarre blend of Frank pretending to give a tour ("It's a...big building...made out of brick...I don't know what the hell it is"), recapping past episodes, and describing his hobby of banging whores. Then he abandons the tourists on the side of the river and rushes out while chanting "no surrender, no surrender"—only to discover that the captain called the cops about the stolen boat. Frank immediately gives up.
- In the finale of season 7, the gang go to their high school reunion, and perform "Plan B", an incredibly intricate and awesome dance number that really seems like a Moment of Awesome for the entire gang. Then it reveals that the entire dance was a drunken hallucination in their heads, and all they did was dance drunkenly and yell in front of their entire high school reunion.
- In "Pop-Pop: The Final Solution", Charlie abruptly eating the nasty soup that Frank placed at Heinrich Landgraf's bedside.
Charlie: I can't wait to get that painting back up on my wall. You know what I mean? That's what this is really all about when you think about it.
- Charlie not looking at the big picture when it comes to the Hitler dog painting subplot:
Mac: No, that's not what this is about. This is about ripping open the fabric of historical fact and making a film about it starring Ryan Gosling as Mac.
- "The Gang Recycles Their Trash": Frank and Dee ripping off each others' clothes at the gay politician's office.
Dennis: Yeah, sure, in the 1950s, yeah, you could drive around door to door in a windowless van, and people didn't think they were gonna get raped. Now, th-they will think that.
- This line, when Dennis suggests tweaking Frank's plan:
- Charlie tries to pull the same "cutting the brakes" move that he used in "The Gang Solves the Gas Crisis", but after he shouts "WILDCARD, BITCHES!" and jumps out the back, Dennis, Dee, and Mac reveal they were two steps ahead of him and re-attached the brakes.
- A lot of the arguments used in "Reynolds vs. Reynolds: The Cereal Defense", but especially the entire sequence where Mac tries to explain why evolution is a lie, for the sake of maintaining credibility. Special shout-outs go to the moments when Mac says that many smart people throughout history consistently disproved several of the theories of their intellectual predecessors and consequently made them "look like a bitch!" Note that this last part is complete with dramatically slapping a sticker that reads "Bitch" over pictures of them.
- What makes it funnier that a lot of these theories were disproven with science.
- "The Gang Broke Dee": The ending, where Dee is informed that the whole episode was a ruse and shouts "OH YOU SONS OF BITCHESSSSSS!!!" and starts tearing the place apart. Juxtaposes nicely with Mac, Dennis, Charlie, and Frank celebrating a job well done of getting her out of her depression.
- The 2nd song in "The Gang Tries Desperately to win an Award" when telling the guests to go fuck themselves.
Charlie: There is a spider, spider, spider...(The gang's hopeful looks immediately fall away)Charlie: He's deep in my soul, soul, soul. He's been there for years. He's got a big bite. Now he's ready to fiiiiiiight! For what he loves! I don't need your trophies or your gold, I just wanna tell you all, "go fuck yourselves!"Zee: Ooooh shit!
- The first time Charlie writes a song, the Gang expects it to be one of his usual pieces about "spiders and ghouls and rape", but it's an upbeat, Randy Newman style theme song for the type of innocuous sitcom bar they're trying to be. They still lock him in the basement. After spending the day down there with his muse (huffing paint), Charlie comes up to perform his song for the critics. The Gang expects the middle-of-the-road theme song to smooth things over and make them look likable, until they hear the new song:
- Then the Gang takes it as their cue to start literally spitting on the critics.
- "Mac Day": Mac sets up a stunt on the bridge, and every driver passing by assumes he's going to commit suicide and egg him on."Suicide is badass!"
- The ending of "The Gang Saves the Day". After all that fantasizing about saving the day, they all decide to shoplift some groceries while the cashier is being robbed.
- In the episode, "Flowers for Charlie", Charlie takes a medication that allows his intelligence to increase exponentially to the point where he starts putting together well thought out arguments in response to the gang's initial skepticism, learns Mandarin in an almost inhumanly short period of time, and starts working on an invention which is finally unveiled towards the end of the episode: a machine that allows spiders to talk with cats. As it turns out, the pill Charlie was given was simply a placebo. All the negative side effects he felt were simply imagined, the Mandarin he was supposedly conversing in was nothing more than complete gibberish, and his arrogance skyrocketed to the point where he not only began isolating himself from the gang, but he even fell out of love with the Waitress because he perceived her to be stupider than himself. Naturally, he goes back to being the "normal" Charlie shortly after this is revealed."Our exploration into the effect of environment upon intelligence was, alas, a complete failure." Camera cuts to Charlie
- Charlie's idea of presenting himself as a genius at a lecture? Adopting a British accent and buttoning the cuffs on his incredibly ragged army jacket.
- "The Gang Makes Lethal Weapon 6": The Lethal Weapon 5 video the guys made, especially once Mac and Dennis switch roles halfway through, with Mac clad in blackface and Dennis doing an exaggerated but somewhat on-point impression of Riggs.Dennis: "James Earl Jones has a black face; he's a black man!"Frank: "No, he isn't! When he played Darth Vader and they took the helmet off him, he was white!"
- "The Gang Beats Boggs": Dee is shown passed out on the baggage claim carousel at the airport.
- Near the end of "The Gang Misses the Boat", Dennis is annoyed by Frank stealing his entrance, but has to take a moment anyway to acknowledge that his cheetah costume is actually pretty good.Dennis: What the hell are you doing, man?Frank: I'm stormin' in!Dennis: I was storming i— what are you, a man-cheetah?Frank: Yeah.Dennis: ...Cool.Frank: You like it?Dennis: Yes!
- "The Gang Group Dates". Frank coaches Mac and Charlie on how to seem normal during a date. After going over the list of subjects to avoid (creatine shits, snakes, smells, the Waitress, Jews, cowboys vs. teachers, Dago fishermen, creationism...) He decides they better start at square one, and he'll blow a whistle to "call" the date if they screw up:Frank: Let's keep things simple. Let's just start with our names.Hi, ladies. I'm Frak— Shit! >blows whistle<
- "The Gang Spies Like U.S.". The whole cream pie conversation between Charlie and Mac and Dennis, where Charlie thinks they are literal cream pies, as in the dessert, rather than the porn definition. Just, the whole goddamn thing. Mac's disgusted faces make the whole thing even funnier.
- Dee reveals to the supervisor that she's a Caucasian woman, and whips her hair back, which gets caught in the conveyor belt. Then fish guts is dumped on her face. And then a worker runs over and takes a butcher knife to her hair. All this happens in only a few seconds.
- "Charlie Work". Mac's hilariously meek approach of Dennis, which eventually led to Dennis scratching up Mac's face, as well as a real demonstration of how far his turn as "barely keeping it together psycho" has gone."LOOK AT ME WHEN YOU'RE TALKING TO ME!"
- Dennis wiping the bar and saying "All right, all right, all right..." every time the health inspector comes back into the main bar area.
- Mac's dad is at the risk of being executed, so Mac resolves to save his dad. Cue title card."Mac Kills His Dad"
Dennis: Where are your breasts?Maureen: Oh, they're in my face.
- This episode marks the first time we see Maureen transitioning into a cat.
Emily Ponderosa: He called me too fat to be a slut and he tried to serve me an omelet with cocaine in it.
- The whole scene where Dee, Dennis, and Frank go to talk to Bill's family was pure comedy gold (the family was so hostile and shameless to the point where the Reynolds were in shock).
Mac: Holy shit! Tell us more!Bonnie: Then Luther went in Eduardo's butt for a while.
- Mac and Charlie try interrogating their mothers, and Bonnie ends up revealing everything that happened on the night of the murder.
- "The Gang Goes on a Family Fight": The question on the Family Feud-esque game show is "name an animal we eat but doesn't eat us".Dee: I like to eat cock.
Grant: (nervous) Whoa, no, no, no, no. We can't say... Lisa, are we gonna...?
Dee: You see what I did there? It's a little double entendre type of thing. I was talkin' about chicken, but I said "cock".
Grant: Nightman. Don't know what that is. Just don't know what it is...Dennis: What is happening?!
- Dennis' pathetic meltdown on Family Fight caused by the "wrong answer" buzzer going off around him one too many times.
- Charlie guessing "The Nightman" as something people are of afraid of... and being right.
- Charlie in general having all the right answers seemingly because Strange Minds Think Alike. Turns out, that it was he was the weirdo who answered the survey.
- In "Dee Made A Smut Film", Charlie's one episode obsession with Richard Grieco and the word 'hella'.
- Dennis thinking Fifty Shades Of Grey was written by a man during his pitch to have his erotic memoir adapted to film.
- The Twist Ending from "Frank Falls out the Window." The 8 million dollar check was signed for 2006.
- The Twist Ending of "Mac & Dennis Move to the Suburbs." Frank honors his deal to give them free rent...for the house that drove both of them Axe-Crazy.
- The ending of the same episode. Rather than spend the rest of the year rent-free in the house, Mac and Dennis agree to spend the rest of the year sleeping in a bed with Dee and an old black man.
- Uncle Jack's giant hands in "McPoyle vs. Ponderosa: The Trial of the Century". The ones he's always had.
- This culminates in him duct taping his hands off his wrists after they accidentally fly off. He squeals "Nobody Look!" while he desperately retrieves it.
- Dee storming into the courtroom and declaring the Lawyer is a liar because he's a Jew, only to realize how bad that sounds. Note
- Maureen Ponderosa continuing her transition into a cat. She's now got ears, a tail and glowing green eyes.
- "Charlie Catches a Leprechaun", on Charlie wanting to dye the drinks... with paint.Mac: But why not just use food coloring for the beer?Charlie: Uh, 'cause beer's not a food. When was the last time you ate a beer?Charlie: (doesn't respond)Mac: ...have you been drinking paint?Charlie: ... ... ...no.Mac: Let me see your tongue. (Charlie shows off his green tongue) Oh, my God, dude! Oh, that shit's just disgusting!Charlie: It's not bad.Mac: You... you can't drink paint!Charlie: I know. I hear you, I hear you.Mac: You say that, but I don't think that you're gonna stop!
- When Mac reminds him that they weren't going to try and capture a leprechaun, Charlie goes down into the basement while giving empty half-responses, leaving Mac with "but I hear ya, I hear ya, it's a frustrating thing, it's like the guy doesn't listen to us, man, we try to get through to him..."
- Mac and Charlie wishes for they had a hose to torture their supposed leprechaun. To their surprise, they find one and they conclude that they have three wishes and that they need to be very careful about their next two.Mac: I wish I could live forever!Charlie: What are you doing? I wish you don't!Mac: NO! Why did you do that?Charlie: Why did you that?Mac: Why didn't just say "I wish I could live forever too?"Charlie: And live forever with you?
- On "The Gang Goes to Hell, part 1": After Mac discovers that the two Christians who convinced him to go on the cruise are gay, Mac realizes that he can convert them to be straight. The two Christian men decide to convince Mac that he's in the closet about his true sexuality. Five minutes later:Mac: Well, I'm gay.
Dee: No shit.
Mac: Oh, you guys knew this already?
Dennis: That you were gay?
Frank: From the day we met.
(The Gang agree that they already knew)
- Charlie dressed as Gilligan from Gilligan's Island
- Dee punching the cruise magician (who turns out to be the woman who stole her seat on the deck).
- "The Gang Goes to Hell, Part 2":
Dennis: Yes, Mac, a human pyramid. All right, you and I will be the bottoms.
- The gang gets sucked into an argument about what noise ship engines make, complete with each of them doing ridiculous impressions of what they think the sound is. This goes on for over four hours, at the end of which Dennis remarks that, on the bright side, they've cut their conflict resolution time in half.
- While building a human pyramid to reach the door:
Mac: Why, 'cause I'm gay?!
Dennis: Not because you're gay, dumbass! Because we're the strongest.
Mac: Okay, I'll be a bottom now, but in real life, just to be clear, I'm gonna be a top.
Dennis: Okay, fine, when you're having gay sex, you can be on the top!
- "The Gang Turns Black":
- While The Gang woke up black to everyone but themselves, they try to find out what movie they are living in.
- When Mac finds that his counterpart has no money in his pants, he concludes that the lesson is "black people are poor." When Charlie finds $25 in his pants, he concludes that black people are rich.
- Dennis, Charlie, and Mac try to get into Dennis's car when Dennis doesn't have his keys due to "being in someone else's body." Then the cops show up and arrest them when they talk to them.
- Frank's song about being able to say words like "homie," "bro," "my man," "fo'sho," and of course, the N word.
- Charlie talks about letting him speak to the cops and pulls out a train. The cops shoot him immediately, then they start singing "We Just Learned a Lesson."
- "The Gang Go To A Water Park":
Frank: There are two kinds of AIDS, the needle-based AIDS and the vagina aids. I'm a vagina guy.
- Mac and Dee go on the water slide they used to ride on 20 years ago. Predictably, Mac and Dee get stuck, along with everyone else who rides on the slide.
- At one point, a kid passes out in the slide and the two decide to let him pass through and we (and the lifeguard) watch his limp body sink to the bottom of the pool. Yeah, they just casually killed a kid.
- When Charlie and Frank hear about how a kid could cut through the line because he has leukemia, they pretend that Frank has AIDS.
- In order to really sell Frank's "condition," Charlie gives him some well placed hickeys.
- For whatever reason, Charlie is really intent in making sure everyone thinks Frank got AIDS by being a gay in the 80's, despite Frank saying it isn't.
- Mac and Dee go on the water slide they used to ride on 20 years ago. Predictably, Mac and Dee get stuck, along with everyone else who rides on the slide.
- "Wolf Cola: A Public Relations Nightmare":
- Frank's reaction to his soda being the official drink of not Boca Raton, but Boko Haram.
"Aw, man, I just threw up on my dick!"
- The reason why UFC fighters love Fight Milk? It causes them to shit and puke a lot, making them lose weight.
- The two segments that Frank, Dennis, and Dee go on to defend themselves about Wolf Cola. The first time went south due to Frank saying how Boko Haram is not as bad as Al-Qaeda or ISIS. The second time had Dennis go on a tangent about how he hates dogs and should be able to eat fried dogs if people could eat fried chicken.
- The twitter responses for both segments are also humorous.
- If you watch closely, when Dennis talks about eating dogs and fried dogs, Frank and Dee leave him there while he was talking.
- As it turns out, Fight Milk has a lot of banned substances and is now the target of the news. Dennis states how this is the good part of the 24 hour news channel, until the news reporter states that Fight Milk is made by Frank's Fluids.
- "Hero Or Hate Crime?":
Frank: Well...I suppose...
- Frank has mirrors on his shoes, to look up women's skirts.
- Both times when the arbitrator states on how they will judge or ask the Gang to be civil, they switch arbitrators.
- When asked about what Frank would say to the arbitrator if he was going to save her life:
The Gang besides Charlie: Woah, woah *they criticize Charlie for saying the n word*
Dee: Yeah, what it looks like is that you are fucking yourself with a dildo bike.
- When Mac shows his bike, Dee has this response:
Frank: This is grotesque.
- Frank's reaction:
- "Dennis' Double Life":
Mac: Brian is his name, Dennis is his sex slave name. He's my gimp.
- Dennis has been tricking a woman into thinking his name is actually Brian. Mac slips up at one point and his attempt to cover it up is hilarious.
- Earlier in the episode, when trying to iron out his backstory with the gang, Charlie asks whether or not his alias is left or right-handed. Dennis wants Charlie to focus because it won't come up. The moment he gets a chance to speak, he immediately calls Dennis left-handed.
- When Dennis is executing his plan to trick Mandy into thinking he's died right in front of him, he pretends to get shot by a sniper. The problem is, he starts bleeding before the gunshot.
- Not to mention the acting for that fake shooting; it's so horrendously bad and cringeworthy that it's hilarious.
- "The Gang Solves the Bathroom Problem":
- Frank keeps offering Dennis Unwanted Assistance in the form of outrageously bigoted comments that technically back up Dennis' argument. It comes to a peak when he suggests that, based on the Constitution, white landowners should get a full bathroom and everyone else should get three-fifths of one.
Charlie: You wish you were a bear!
- Charlie attempts to strangle Mac for saying that ghouls don't exist, and the only part that Mac takes issue with is the fact that Charlie called him a twink when he's clearly a bear.
- The guys' Hypocritical Humor in arguing about equality, tolerance, and treating people well while simultaneously telling Dee to shut the fuck up and let the men talk every time she tries to comment.