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Brick Joke: you are clear for landing.
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  • Tony's response for being called as "Da Vinci of our time"?
    "Absolutely ridiculous. I don't paint."
    • Before that, when Everhart had just arrived to interview Tony, Tony didn't look at her before Happy Hogan told him "She's cute". It looks like it's already Hogan's duty to check up on an unknown or new girl who chases Tony for anything so Tony can decide whether he would greet the girl or not.
  • Discussing Pepper's birthday:
    Tony: I don't like it when you have plans.
    Pepper: I'm allowed to have plans on my birthday.
    Tony: Your birthday?
    Pepper: Yes.
    Tony: I knew that... already?
    Pepper: Yeah, it's strange, isn't it? It's just the same day as last year.
  • Before all hell breaks loose, Tony's conversation with the soldiers in the Jeep.
    "I don't want to see this on your MySpace Page. Please, no gang signs... No, throw it up, I'm kidding."
    "Yeah peace, I love peace! I'd be out of a job with peace..."
    • Also at the beginning:
      Soldier: Is it true that you went twelve-for-twelve with last year's Maxim cover models?
      Tony Stark: That is an excellent question. Yes and no. March and I had a scheduling conflict but fortunately the Christmas cover was twins.
  • Also also at the beginning:
    Tony: I'm sorry, this is the Funvee. The Humdrumvee is over there.
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    • The Brick Joke is that when Tony is reunited with Rhodey, haggard, injured and near complete exhaustion, Rhodey's first words are, "How was the funvee?"
      • Given how close the two are, and that this is exactly the kind of thing Tony would say in the situation, he chuckles, finding it Actually Pretty Funny.
  • During Tony's escape from the Afghanistan caves, he gets his gauntlet jammed in a rock face when trying to take out a soldier. Another one sees an opportunity for a Boom, Headshot!. He walks right up beside Tony for point blank aiming and... the bullet ricochets off Tony's helmet, and back into the gunman's head.
    • And Tony turns around as if to say 'What was that? A twig?'
    • Just before the escape some of the guards demand to know what Tony and Yinsen are doing. Despite the tense situation, or perhaps because of it, this exchange stands out.
      Tony: [hears the guards yelling] Say something!
      Yinsen: He's speaking Hungarian. I don't know Hungarian!
      • And the best is that not only the guard is actually yelling in (grammatically incorrect) Hungarian but in the movie's Hungarian dub, the guard is speaking Polish instead!
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    • One part in his escape, the terrorists barricade the door leaving one of their men behind. Said man is screaming and knocking and begging to be let out as Tony advances on him slowly.
    • Tony's escape ends with him literally rocketing out of the exploding terrorist camp, only for the rocket boots to crap out mid-flight. He survives the landing unharmed, and is left half-buried in the sand.
    Tony: [dazed and shaking off pieces of the suit] Not bad.
  • Pepper talking with the reporter who Tony slept with and subsequently dumped.
    Christine Everheart: Even after all this time, Tony still has you picking up the dry-cleaning.
    Pepper Potts: I do anything and everything Mr. Stark requires... including occasionally taking out the trash. Will that be all?
    • Also this scene:
      Pepper: I actually don't think that you could tie your shoes without me.
      Tony: I'd make it a week.
      Pepper: Oh really? What's your social security number?
      [long pause]
      Tony: ...five.
  • As Tony enters the first press conference, Obadiah Stane asks him if he has another cheeseburger, since he wanted it to look like he was glad Tony was back, just for the camera's sake. Even funnier, Tony says it's his last one, then pulls another out of his suit pocket and starts munching.
    • The simple fact that the first thing he wanted upon returning was "an American cheeseburger". He also wanted to hold a press conference, but "cheeseburger first".
  • Tony's various attempts at learning how to work his suit.
    • He starts off with foot thrusters at 10% capacity, which causes him to blast off like he'd been shot out of a cannon, then slamming into the ceiling of his garage. Then he gets doused in fire extinguisher by Dummy.
      Tony: Okay, let's start things off nice and easy, see if 10 percent thrust capacity achieves lift. In three... two... one...
      [WHAM!]
    • Then there's the bit just after that where he's designing the stabilizers.
      Pepper: I thought you said you were done making weapons.
      Tony: It isn't. This is a flight stabilizer. It's completely harmless..
      [The stabilizer shoots a blast of energy that knocks him onto his back]
      Tony: [off-screen] I didn't expect that.
    • Before starting the tests with the stabilizers, he chews out Dummy.
      Tony Stark: If you douse me again and I'm not on fire, I'm donating you to a city college.
    • Flying with stabilizers (and the thrust capacity at 2.5%) goes a lot better than during the first test, but still not exactly well. Tony can barely control his movements, leading him to drift out of the testing area, nearly crashing into his own car(s) and sending papers flying everywhere as he hovers over his desk. All the while making increasingly panicked noises.
      Tony: Okay, this is where I don't wanna be!
      • When he sees Dummy gearing up to spray him again after he lands, he responds exactly like a parent seeing their toddler trying to stick an insect in their mouth.
        Tony: NO, AH AH AH AH!
  • Tony in the Mark II suit turning off the repulsors, then falling through the roof, piano, and one of his cars. Cue Dummy dousing him with fire extinguisher.
  • The great unsung comedy moment of the movie, due entirely to Robert Downey Jr.'s brilliant deadpan delivery:
    Party Girl: Hey, Tony, remember me?
    Tony: Sure don't.
    • The best part is that he doesn't even stop walking or turn to look at her as he says it.
  • When Tony shows up at the party and he thinks he sees Hugh Hefner and pats him on the back, only for "Hef" to turn around and be Stan Lee.
  • Tony's reaction to Pepper seeing him being peeled out of the Mark III armor.
    • And when Pepper walks in and asks, all of the machines who've been helping Tony in peeled out the armor abruptly stops moving as if saying "Oh shit, we've been found out!"
    • Better yet, the dialogue between Tony and JARVIS while they're trying (off-screen) to remove the former's suit.
      JARVIS: Well, it is a tight fit, sir...
      Tony: Ow!
      JARVIS: Sir, the more you struggle, the more this is going to hurt.
      Tony: Be gentle, this is my first time.
  • Two words: "Icing problem?"
    • "Might wanna look into it." *clonk*
  • A brief moment during the final fight scene. Tony's just started getting out of his suit, thinking that he's won and he can take it off, when Stane appears behind him. He turns and lifts his hand to deliver a repulsor blast... only to find that he's already taken the armored glove off of it and his hand is bare. He actually turns his palm to stare incredulously at it for a second before getting slammed in the face.
  • "TONY STARK WAS ABLE TO BUILD THIS IN A CAVE! WITH A BOX OF SCRAPS!" "Well I'm sorry... but I'm not Tony Stark."
    Youtuber #1: His tie jumped when he started yelling.
    Youtuber #2: The tie was in his way and paid the price.
    • Some fanons tend to change the scientist's response to a Comically Missing the Point variant: "Well, I'm sorry, I don't have a cave with a box of scraps."
    • The scientist is also Ralphie from A Christmas Story.
    • What makes this infinitely better is that the scientist returns in a pivotal role for Spider-Man: Far From Home, meaning that this guy is the only character to have appeared in the very first film of the MCU, and then got Put on a Bus all the way until the very end of the Thanos Myth Arc. There's a Brick Joke, and then there's a Brick Character!
  • Whiplash 1, the magnificently deadpan F-22 pilot.
    Whiplash 1: Ballroom, this is Whiplash 1, I've got the bogey in my sights.
    Rhodes: Whiplash 1, what is it?
    Whiplash 1: I've got no idea.
  • The little exchange between Coulson and Pepper while they infiltrate Sector 16.
    Pepper: Oh, what is that, some kind of device to pick the lock?
    Coulson: You might want to step back...
    • Pepper then turns around and covers her ears in expectation of a huge bang, only for the lock to blow in a small "poof."
    • Also before that, when he took the device from his teammates, Coulson does it without even looking at said teammate or any other guys there as if to show they're already used to doing this. After that, Coulson and other agents turn their back from the door while waiting for the device to "explode". During that time, their expressions are just like... they usually are.
  • A dying Tony has just failed to grab the prototype Arc Reactor that Pepper saved and had monogrammed, and is lying there, beaten... until Dummy casually lowers it into frame. Doubles as a CMOH.
    Tony: Good boy...
  • The scene where Pepper swaps out Tony's Arc Reactor for the upgraded model. Particularly this line:
    Tony: Oh, it's nothing. I'm just going into cardiac arrest because you yanked it out like a trout-
    Pepper: What!? I thought you said it was safe!
  • Towards the climax of the film, Tony rushes to where Pepper is in his armor, since Obadiah is there and is about to start wreaking havoc. Rhodey, left behind, looks at a spare armor for an instant and considers taking it into battle himself.
    Rhodey: Next time, baby.
  • Tony Stark suggests excusing the collision between the Iron Man suit and an aircraft as a training exercise.
    Tony: Training exercise. Isn't that the usual B.S.?
    Rhodey: It's not that simple. [Gilligan Cut] An unfortunate training exercise involving an F-22 Raptor occurred yesterday. I am pleased to report that the pilot was not injured...
  • At the end of the film, just before the press conference, Tony and Pepper finally talk about their Almost Kiss at the party. Pepper at first seems bashful about it, making sure that he's talking about the night where they danced and went up on the roof and he went to get her a drink...and never came back, leaving her up there alone. Especially funny is how the swelling romantic music just immediately stops cold.
    Pepper: Is that the night you're talking about?
    Tony: (sheepish) Mm-hm.


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