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Funny / Intelligence (2014)

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Episode 1 - Pilot

  • Gabriel is blindsided by a kidnapper's henchman and loses his gun while trying to get himself and Doctor Cassidy to safety. After brawling with said henchman for a bit, Gabriel is thrown back towards Cassidy who is sitting on the sidelines with Gabriel's stolen gun.
    Doctor Cassidy: Would this help?

Episode 2 - Red X

  • Riley reveals that she's now living in the apartment across from Gabriel:
    Riley: We call this proximity overlook.
    Gabriel: Yeah well, the rest of the world calls it stalking.
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  • Lillian Strand is impatient with the speed of counterattacking:
    Nelson: You don't just flip a switch. We first need to submit an emergency interruption claim to the national communications system...
    Lillian: Hack it. If it's faster.
    Nelson: I love it when you talk dirty.
  • Doctor Cassidy and his son/assistant Nelson are removing the Red X balls from the stomach of a dead terrorist. Nelson is not happy about doing an autopsy while wearing a bomb suit.
    Doctor Cassidy: You're always saying we should do more things together.
    Nelson: I meant catch a movie, or a ballgame.

Episode 3 - Mei Chen Returns

  • Dr. Cassidy acting like Walter from Fringe.
  • When Gabriel is getting hacked, Riley snaps him out of it.
    Gabriel: Did you just punch me?
    Riley: ...Nope.

Episode 4 - Secrets of the Secret Service

  • On the airplane:
    Riley: Secret Service has been read-in on the extraction, but obviously they're not cleared for Clockwork.
    Gabriel: So I shouldn't do anything too...chippy?
    Riley: (sarcastically) "Chippy"?
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Episode 6 - Patient Zero

  • Riley has just come into Gabriel's apartment:
    Riley: No viable threats in the area, and I checked the car for tampering.
    Gabriel: You need a hobby.
    Riley: I have one, thank you. Dim mak — pressure points, martial arts. With one hand, I can bring you to your knees.
    (beat)
    Riley: You're disgusting.
  • The Casual Danger Dialog between Gabriel and Riley in Austin after being engaged by General Carter's black ops agents:
    Gabriel: Do you know how emasculating that is when you tackle me like that?
    Riley: Are you saying you feel like a girl?
    Gabriel: That's not what I'm saying!
    Riley: 'Cause you look pretty today.
  • Nelson and the gyrocopter.

Episode 8 - Delta Force

  • The Reveal that Gabriel, who has the most advanced piece of tech in the world in his brain, was allergic to technology before the chip. It was so bad he could barely use e-mail and needed help to get his porn off his hard drive.
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Episode 9 - Athens

  • Nelson and the printer:
    Nelson: But please, don't treat me this way. Nobody else around here is gonna rub that sweet, sweet oil all over your smelly platens — nobody.
    (Slams lid)
    Gabriel: You two have a fight?
    Nelson: We're supposed to make hard copies of our TR-9 reports every week. It's the only time we ever use paper in this place.
  • At the end of the episode, the printer is now behaving, and Nelson proudly holds up the page with an "I'm out!"
  • Lillian's response when asked, during a security audit, what happens if a CYBERCOM agent looses their ID- which are incredibly advanced biometric scans of their hands.
    Lillian: Agent Jameson. Lets do a hand count today. Make sure everyone has two.
    Jameson: Hand count. Two per. Yes, ma'am.
  • Dr. Cassidy tells Gabriel, who's suffering from sensory overload because he's forgotten how to control the chip, to focus on Riley and bring up her personnel file. (John Billingsley's studiously straight face sells it.)
    Gabriel: (to Riley) You were arrested for public nudity and possession of a controlled substance?
    Riley: (confused as all get-out) That ... never happened.
    Cassidy: Well done, Gabriel, but you seem to have accessed my file.

Episode 10 - Cain and Gabriel

  • The conversation between Riley and Gabriel on the airplane. Gabriel is annoyed that Lillian is in his seat, and uses this analogy.
    Gabriel: She's sitting in my seat.
    Riley: Well, I guess you should have saved your seat with your purse.
    Gabriel: It's a ritual, Riley — like mojo. Like not changing your socks when you're on a winning streak.
    Riley: Please tell me you've changed your socks today.
  • And then a few minutes later Lillian tells him he can have his seat back.
  • Both Dr. Cassidy and Nelson attempting to have a heart-to-heart with Gabriel about possible effects of the chip on his emotions.
    Nelson: Have you been experincing any mood swings lately? Crying fits?
    Gabriel: Crying fits? No.
    Nelson: Well, your amygdala is telling me a whole different story.
    Dr. Cassidy: Gabriel, you know you're safe in here.

Episode 11 - The Grey Hat

  • Nelson being just a touch fanboyish over the hacks done by Cortez, the hacker.

Episode 12 - Event Horizon

  • Gabriel trying to get Riley to leave to save her career after she drove the getaway car. Her Duh, stupid. face and Gabriel's responding expression are particularly cute.
  • Riley and Gabriel arguing over whether or not to steal a nondescript station wagon/minivan.
    Gabriel: When we're finally found and arrested, you want everybody to know we stole a minivan? Can't we find a Mustang or something?
  • Shen Cassidy trying to explain how modern video cameras work, which involves explaining how they convert individual photons into electrical pulses. You can literally see everybody's brain bending as he gets more wrapped up in his explanations. They ask him again to explain to make it simpler and their expressions literally become more confused as he yells there is no way to make it any simpler and they all just move on.
  • Lillian, Jameson, and both Dr. Cassidys discussing their treasonous act of hiding Gabriel...over milkshakes. Especially Lillian's face as she finally gives in to order one. The funny continues over everyone's Seriously? expression as the younger Dr. Cassidy slurps his right in the middle of someone's sentence.
  • Nelson asking Gabriel for the details on how he got to entrap Mei Chen. When Shen looks at him, he says that he needs the info For Science!.
  • Lillian and Leland arguing over the former's insistence to tell her about "The Flood" plan VEVAK has planned.
    Leland: It's the Loch Ness monster, Bigfoot, alien abductions. It's a legend, like any other, whispered in dark, smoky rooms by old spooks.
    Lillian: (Lillian stares at him)
    Leland: I guess we're in a dark, smoky room with an old spook.

Episode 13 - Being Human

  • Every scene between Gabriel and his mother. It's especially funny because they are so much alike that it's like Gabriel actually having to put up with all the crap that he pulls on Riley all the time.
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