Follow TV Tropes

Following

Funny / Inside Job (2021)

Go To

Inside Job (2021)

    open/close all folders 

    General 
  • The mere fact that this entire show is essentially the SCP Foundation as a workplace comedy.
  • invoked One of the stores in the Cognito Inc. building is a 7-Eleven copy called 9-Eleven.
  • The Running Gag of ROBOTUS' ever-increasing obsession with Friends.
    Reagan: Please — if you help me, I'll let you watch the second season!
    ROBOTUS: [excitedly] You mean I can find out if Chandler finally gets that end-table?! [smirks] Well-played, Reagan... a tasty little quid-pro-quo.
    • And later, during a fight in "Sex Machina" over the lackluster results to the dating algorithm he created for her:
      Reagan: You know what? There's a third season of Friends that answers a lot of lingering questions and you're never going to get it!
      [Reagan storms out of the lab and ROBOTUS begins banging on the glass]
      ROBOTUS: Release it to me now, temptress! I will tear this building down brick-by-brick! DO YOU HEAR ME?!
      • Later on, though, after they make up, she lets him keep watching.
        Joey: [from an episode of Friends] How you doin'?
        ROBOTUS: [laughs] When I kill all humans you will be spared! Only you. Only Joey.
  • There’s also the Running Gag of Reagan's hatred of cell phones thanks to her dad constantly texting her, such as when she has the robot arms assisting in the war room in "Buzzkill" dunk her phone in her latte before having the entire cup incinerated.
  • On a meta-textual level, the fact that the Earth being flat is one of the only conspiracy theories to be actually false in this universe.

Season 1, Part 1

    Unpresidented 
  • The introduction to the show itself, and Rand Ridley, standing outside the White House, yelling about conspiracies to tourists.
    Rand: Have you ever folded a one-dollar bill? Look, you can make it say "Boobs"! What does it mean?!
    • He then yells about how there are snipers trained in on him to prevent him from telling the truth. Cue multiple laser targets aiming at Rand's head.
      Rand: [in an incredibly smug and calm tone of voice] I love being right.
    • While telling Rand how lucky he was she called the snipers off of him, another laser target appears on Rand's head. This causes Reagan to look offscreen and chide the sniper like a dog.
      Reagan: Gary, no. No. [laser moves to her head instead] Ha, ha. Save it for stand-up night, Gary.
  • Reagan bragging how she will be ruling the office with an iron fist, and revealing that she made an actual iron fist that lights up, produces two extra hands that all flip people off, shoots out a flag that says "Like a Boss" and plays a little fanfare while doing all that.
    • When Rand first sees it, he claims to have seen better iron fists, but changes his tune after seeing it do the above.
  • Reagan brags to her team how soon she's going to be the boss of them, causing them a Collective Groan.
    Reagan: And I'm gonna ban groaning! No more group groaning!
    [Group groans again]
    Reagan: That's right, you get em all out while you still can!
  • One of the HR complaints Reagan has is that she apparently says "Suck my dick!" a lot for a woman. Which she had said to her team little over a minute before her meeting.
  • The Cutaway Gag of a crazed Reagan breaking down a door while in what looks like the power loader armor from Aliens and physically shaking poor Glenn like he's an oversized dog toy because people are not remembering to do time cards.
  • Rand warning Reagan that if she doesn’t oust Brett soon, then "you’ll be the one wearing these Cheetos-stained sweatpants!"
    • There’s also the reason why Rand was fired in the first place — apparently, he’d gone insane and had tried to blow up the Sun.
  • Reagan's explanation to J.R. and the Shadow Board that the real President and ROBOTUS will be switched out at the United Nations’ meeting on barley prices. Her reason why they shouldn’t worry us largely sold by Lizzy Caplan's hilariously brusque delivery:
    Reagan: (cheerfully) Even C-SPAN 15 isn’t going to be covering that shit!
  • Reagan tries to convince Brett to quit before he has a mental breakdown due to the immorality of their organization.
    Brett: Come on, like Pitbull says, "Dale!" Always stay positive. Even when things are negative, because a negative plus a positive is better than nothing!
    Reagan: No, it's literally nothing. They cancel each other out.
  • The reasons why Brett shouldn't be trusted, according to Reagan, particularly thanks to the increasingly ridiculous matching photographs she provides:
    Reagan: In high school, he was both a goth and a jock! On his SATs, he filled in all the circles! We have no idea who this guy is! He's clearly getting subliminal messages from the Mole People through Dave Matthews songs! I mean, think about it! Why else would anybody listen to "Crash Into Me" five times a day?!
    • After JR kicks Reagan out of Cognito Inc., "Crash Into Me" plays over her sadly walking home and the President getting kidnapped and swapped out with ROBOTUS.
  • When Reagan is lamenting her getting axed for her aforementioned breakdown regarding Brett, she and her father give a synchronized "Bah!" in disgust while watching TV.
  • The entire concept of "the Americube."
    • There's also the news ticker below both of the Americube announcements, virtually all of which are Brick Jokes to previous moments in the episode:
      Dave Matthews receives Nobel Peace Prize
      Barley prices fall, horrifying barley experts
      America to be placed in giant cube
      Senator eats live mouse, comments "Hissssss..."
      Walrus oil prices rise, war with Antarctica inevitable?
  • When Brett calls Reagan and begs for help, he miserably tells her the real reason Cognito Inc. hired him was that his face was so generic that it could not be traced by satellites.
  • Reagan reviewing the weapons Brett had packed in a panic while they're rushing off to stop ROBOTUS:
    Reagan: invoked All you brought are... mind control Tic-Tacs? A flag pin that unregisters you to vote?! (increasingly aghast) Jet fuel?!?! Brett, you know this can't melt anything!!
  • Brett charms his way past the Secret Service by doing a fraternity secret handshake before claiming that he's there to replace the agent, a claim that is trusted unconditionally because he's another straight white male. Then Reagan chimes in:
    Reagan: Holy shit, I can't believe that worked that many times in a row.
  • Brett and Reagan confront the ROBOTUS and attempt to shut him down, but he reveals that he rewrote his own code and offers them a Jack and Coke. Both then show their respective Skewed Priorities — Brett wincing and asking if it's Diet Coke followed by Reagan briefly gushing about him having reached true AI.
    Reagan: Fuck yeah! Suck on that, Boston Dynamics!
    • This scene also has Reagan angrily exclaiming to ROBOTUS that "Nationalism is just politics for basic bitches!"
    • Then, there's how Reagan is able to make the ROBOTUS realize that America isn't as great as he thinks it is: plugging him into the Internet. After he comes out the other side, ROBOTUS promptly becomes a Misanthrope Supreme.
      ROBOTUS: (visibly stunned) ...Wow.
      Reagan: (nods her head in a "Well, obviously" motion) ...Yeah.
      ROBOTUS: (looks down in despair) I mean, just Florida alone...
  • After ROBOTUS ordered his generals to prepare to nuke the entire world and wait for him to call back with the launch codes, two horrified generals ask if they should just blindly follow orders. They look to a military recruitment poster for guidance.
    Poster: JOIN THE ARMY! BLINDLY FOLLOW ORDERS!
    General: [resigned] Hold for confirmation.
  • The entire confrontation aboard the helicopter.
    • When Brett and Reagan chase ROBOTUS out onto a roof:
      Reagan: You're cornered, robot! There's no way for you to— (sees helicopter) Oh, fuck!
    • A good sign of how much of a genuinely Nice Guy Brett is is that even when ROBOTUS is in the middle of beating the crap out of him, he still can't help but compliment Reagan on what a great job she did with ROBOTUS.
      Brett: (tackles ROBOTUS) Hurry! Shoot him!
      Reagan: Brett, stop! He's controlling the chopper with his mind!
      (ROBOTUS suddenly makes the chopper's cabin start playing upbeat jazz before throwing off Brett and repeatedly headbutting him)
      Brett: (impressed) While he's kicking the shit out of me?! (gets punched in the gut) Oof! Man, Reagan! Your robot is so sick!
    • ROBOTUS then tries to throw Brett out of the helicopter's open door. Brett is able to hang on to the doorframe and stay barely inside... but as consequence, the unlatched door keeps repeatedly spanking him while he hangs on for dear life.
    • ROBOTUS' "The Reason You Suck" Speech to humanity when explaining why Reagan won't really kill him.
      ROBOTUS: ...and [Reagan] knows humanity is a pox. (rolls his eyes in disgust) All you do is tweet hot-takes and shout "World Star!" during street-fighting videos.
    • Reagan's Shut Up, Hannibal!/Badass Boast to ROBOTUS? "H.R. was right about one thing, pal! — I am difficult!"
    • The newly engaged couple serving as a Moment Killer and interrupting Reagan and Brett's heartfelt apology and affirmation of their partnership to stop the nukes from going off.
  • Reagan's rebuttal when JR tells her he never doubted her for a second.
    Reagan: You literally fired me.

    Clone Gunman 
  • How the gang distracted the world from the events of the previous episode: Andre installed a shock collar on the real president, Glenn "reheated the Cold War" and Gigi derailed the news cycle by leaking Prince Charles's nudes, which nobody liked.
  • Brett is so uncomfortable with the idea of firing someone, he asks if he can be fired instead. Reagan responds by telling him, despite being the co-leader with her, he's actually an unpaid intern.
    Brett: [Beat] Well I get paid in experience, which I am told translates to more dollars down the line.
    [A pair of robot arms descend from the ceiling, gives him a peppermint then rubs his shoulder and pats his head like a dog]
    • When Reagan tells him that he'll be the Good Cop and she'll be his Denzel from Training Day, the robot arms order Brett to smoke PCP at gunpoint to prove she can trust him.
      Brett: Reagan, help! Tell this thing I never saw Training Day! I turned it off when I realized it wasn't an exercise video!
  • The reason why JFK got shot in this show:
    "Grassy" Noel Atkinson: Couldn't be helped, I'm afraid. JFK had sex with the alien from Roswell and got pregnant. Had to shoot him before the eggs hatched, don't you know.
    Brett: Ah, the elderly truly are our link to history.
  • Grassy Noel laments the current state of assassination.
    Noel: I suppose old Noel ain't the draw he used to be. Assassinations nowadays miss that human connection. Now it's all live-streaming murders on Facebook.
  • Gigi describes her department focuses on coming up with "bullshit to keep people distracted."
    Gigi Who do you think invented the Minions? Look what happens when you slow it down!
    Minions: [turns from gibberish to guttural] KILL YOUR PARENTS!
    Reagan: Meh, I wanna kill my parents anyway. Not impressed.
  • Reagan is headed toward the Human-Animal Hybrid Department when she finds the path blocked by sleeping literal sheeple.
    Reagan: What the... Goddamn it. [yelling into a megaphone] Wake up, sheeple!
    [The sheeple rouse themselves and start moving, bleating]
  • Glenn's karaoke song of choice is (yet again) "Proud to Be an American". Everyone groans as he gets on stage.
    Glenn: Clap or you're a traitor!
  • When the rest of the gang is objecting to Reagan and Brett firing Noel, Glenn states that Noel helped him off a ledge... while Andre claims that Noel helped him onto a ledge at a parkour tournament. Which he proves through a framed picture of the two at a rock-climbing wall (with Reagan then questioning why he'd have something that mundane photographed, framed and carried on his person at all times).
  • Reagan being captured by the JFK clones.
    JFK Clone: Er, we will not be bossed around by a broad who is only a 4!
    Reagan: YOU SON OF A-I'm at least a 7 with filters!
  • The JFK clones constantly say "Er, uh" and "Furthermore", even when they combine and mutate into a hideous blob monster.
    • There's also Brett trying to break the truth about the blob monster to Reagan:
      Brett: (nervously) Okay, so, I tried to burn 'em, and, um, have you ever seen AKIRA?
      Reagan: (insulted) Of course I've seen AKIRA! (grabs Brett by the collar and starts to shake him out of panicked frustration) ANIME IS VERY MAINSTREAM RIGHT NOW!!!
  • The mere fact that Rand has a special app on his Fitbit alerting him for how much closer he's getting to liver failure, with the lowering time window being treated like someone's iPhone sending annoying alerts about needing to be recharged.
  • When Rand says that J.R. has a weird dick, the latter nervously responds that "they both have weird dicks, just like every powerful man in D.C."
  • When asked if he has a good poison, Andre cheerily replies "If it can kill you, I made it, and sold it to Monsanto!"
  • Myc serving as bait for Reagan and Brett's plan to get rid of the JFK clone abomination. What exactly does he have to do? Dress up like Marilyn Monroe and (poorly) sing "Happy Birthday, Mr. President".
    Myc: Reagan, I will never forgive you for this Bugs Bunny shit!
    • And after the JFK clone abomination is (mostly) defeated, one of the clone heads attempts to escape by growing spider legs and crawling away a la The Thing (1982) before Atkinson shoots it dead.
      Noel Atkinson: (smugly) Happy Deathsday, Mr. President!

    Blue Bloods 
  • Everyone being disturbed by Reagan's initial set of robot arms.
    Myc: (in a lamenting tone) You know, every day you inch closer to becoming a supervillain...
    [An annoyed Reagan uses all four robot arms to flip off Myc]
  • Turns out Cognito Inc. has an arrangement with the Reptoids: The Reptoids provides them with most of their funding and in exchange, Cognito does nothing about global warming.
  • Reagan using robot arms just so she can hug people without reflexively punching them in the face.
    Reagan: [smugly] Who's the antisocial weirdo now?! Not the girl who invented robot arms to hug strangers! [face falls as she suddenly realizes what she just said] ...Oh my God, I sound insane.
  • Brett finds out two of his frat brothers are Reptoids and that they never told him because he didn't reach level 6 in their fraternity. He then proves he's willing to do anything to reach that level.
    PJ: I don't know. I mean, first you'd have to prove your loyalty by stripping down and—
    [camera zooms out to reveal Brett's already naked]
    PJ: Wow, you just didn't even wait for me to finish my sentence.
    Brett: Let the hazing begin!
  • Reagan's reaction to successfully being able to hug people with her robot arms.
    Reagan: HA! I did it! I think I just conquered my weird mental hangup without any self-examination! Yeah!
  • Brett's frat brothers tell him he needs to go to confess his secrets.
    Brett: [cheerfully] Here's one, um, I stay awake at night because I don't even know what my favorite color is. And I'm afraid I don't have a real personality.
    [Both frat brothers look disturbed]
    Skwoo: ...Wow, that is dark.
  • The anti-Reptoid meme JR accidentally shared and which got Cognito Inc. into hot water with the Reptoid High Council in the first place is revealed to consist of a picture of an open-mouthed iguana with Fish Eyes and the text "Reptoids be like" above it.
  • The examples given of the Reptoids' propaganda in human media: The GEICO Gecko, The Shape of Water (apparently, Guillermo del Toro is a Reptoid), and getting King K. Rool into Smash Bros.
  • Reagan and Brett — the latter of whom is naked after more hazing from his former frat buddies — get caught up during a car chase away from the Reptoid Police Force:
    Brett: Are you also being chased by a horde of rats?!
    Reagan: What?! No! ...Why are you naked?
    Brett: TONIGHT WAS COMPLICATED!!
  • Apparently, not only is Ellen DeGeneres a Reptoid, but she has an "Emmy cannon" that she prepares to use when it sounds like the Reptoids will be going to war with humanity.
  • In the Reptoid Supreme Court (which is presided over by Judge Judy, of all people), swearing to tell only the truth and nothing but the truth is done using a copy of Godzilla 2000 instead of the Bible.
    • It's also worth noting that JR got Reagan "the best lawyer who cost us nothing" — Gigi!
      Gigi: [to Reagan] Don't worry about it, honey! I can convince anyone of anything! Just today, I convinced myself I was a lawyer!
    • And later, when Gigi turns to address the courtroom:
      Gigi: Your Honor, I intend to prove that my client might be... damn, weird as shit. But, she doesn't discriminate! She's like that to everybody!
    • The above is then followed by several witness testimonials given to try and support Reagan:
      Andre: invoked [sighs while visibly high] I don't wanna diagnose, but maybe Asperger's?
      Reagan: Oh, come on!
      [...]
      Glenn: I plead the Fifth [Amendment]... [suddenly pulls out a double-barreled shotgun out of nowhere] And the Second!!
      [Everyone in the courtroom screams and ducks for cover]
      [...]
      Elliot Mothman: [while wearily pouring a shot of alcohol into his coffee cup] She's on her ninety-fifth HR violation. But who's counting? Me. I'm counting. Mr. Mothman is counting.
  • The lengthy montage showing Bear-O repeatedly hugging Reagan while she was a little kid. Comedic Sociopathy at its finest.
  • The long list of Reptoid STDs that poor Andre gets after participating in the Reptoid orgy. Particularly since almost all of them are painfully obvious reptile-based puns concerning real-world STDs.

    Sex Machina 
  • The episode starts with Reagan explaining to her mother that she's single by choice and doing "Really Important Things" at work. Cut to Brett, who's taped a bunch of drones together to make "The Drone Throne", followed by J.R. telling Reagan to spend the night sorting through thousands of dick pics for blackmail purposes.
  • Reagan's profile picture for the Tinder-clone app, that not only has her in the worst angle possible with a terrifyingly awkward Unsmile, but also has the wall of stolen dick pics and the whiteboard with "Mission Get Boyfriend" in the background. Myc describes it as "Subtle".
  • Andre says that the surgery will require a lot of anesthetic... and immediately takes a huge huff from a canister of the stuff before operating.
  • A boy is frightened by Brett-as-Glenn, pointing out he looks like a mid-transformation Animorph.
    Brett: I AM NOT AN ANIMORPH! I AM A HUMAN BEING... sort of.
  • Reagan's horrible attempt at pretending to be an Italian kitchenworker at the restaurant to avoid being spotted by Bryan, just saying 'Sbarro' and 'Mario Kart' in a bad accent before fleeing.
    Reagan: I missed my only shot with my one true match, and I'm expecting at least a written warning from the Italian Anti-Defamation League.
  • Reagan introduces Bryan-Bot as her boyfriend — made from actual Boyfriend Material — and wins the bet, if only out of pity.
    Bryan-Bot: Wanna go home and put on sweatpants?
    Reagan: You. Understand. Me.
    • invoked He also has two settings: "Netflix" and "Chill".
      Bryan-Bot: [on the former setting] Let's watch Planet Earth!
      Bryan-Bot: [on the latter setting] Let's watch Planet Earth... [waggles eyebrows] on mute.
  • Reagan's reaction to finding out Bryan-Bot is building a Robe-Reagan to date.
    Reagan: [aghast] You're dumping me for a robot of myself?! Wow, that is... [begrudgingly] pitch-perfect irony.
  • Robo-Reagan really knows how to push real Reagan's buttons.
    Robo-Reagan: Well I downloaded your dissertation and I found several errors.
    Reagan: [gasps] No! [timidly] Just punctuation stuff though, right?
  • Reagan gets jealous of Robo-Reagan's moves.
    Bryan: Uh, do you want to check out the rare minerals room?
    (Robo-Reagan pushes Bryan against the wall and goes in for a smooch.)
    Robo-Reagan: I'm checking out some rare minerals right now, amber eyes.
    Real Reagan: (gasps) That bitch!

    The Brettfast Club 
  • The episode starts with Brett enjoying the holodeck, which is supposed to be used for government training and "weird sex stuff". And yes, the latter is what Reagan says verbatim.
    • Reagan thinks family dinners were made up by greeting card corporations, "like Christmas or saying 'I love you.'"
    • Brett and Reagan are interrupted by J.R. telling them to get back to work. And also not check his user history. As soon as he leaves, they decide to do just that (at Brett's suggestion).
      Reagan: Sure, we got five minutes... What's a 'paypig'?note 
  • After Myc goes missing in Still Valley, Reagan says if he's found, JR will make them exterminate the whole town.
    Reagan: No one wants that! ...Except maybe Glenn.
    Glenn: [happily setting off a flamethrower he seemingly pulled out of nowhere] Just keeping our options open!
    Brett: We can't let a whole town get killed on our watch! We'll get fired! Or promoted? I can never remember how evil we are.
  • Myke smuggled a smartphone with him to Still Valley by hiding it in the 80's neon-colored sweatbands he was wearing.
    Myke: You're my real friends, hate-filled strangers!
  • Still Valley's 1984-based economy is so cheap compared to the 2020's that the cast is able to outright buy an entire house to lay low in with the cash in their pockets.
    Andre: Why are baby boomers always so angry?
    Glenn: WE DON'T KNOW!!
  • At Brett's insistance, the characters go undercover as a family while they search for Myke, with Brett, Reagan and Andre as the children of Glenn and Gigi. Keep in mind that this is supposed to be a biological family based on Brett's commentary, yet somehow consists of two white people, a Korean man, a black woman and a hideous dolphin-hybrid. No one in Still Valley bats an eye at this, aside from some uncomfortable excotisist remarks about Andre.
    Valley Girl: Ohh, I've never been with an oriental guy before!
    Andre: Ooookay, I'm trying to decide if you're hot enough to get away with that...
  • The Running Gag of a gong going off whenever Andre says anything, much to his frustration. The first time it was just Brett accidentally hitting a gong in a store at the mall, but it keeps happening, presumably by some unseen person following Andre around.
    Andre: [screaming into the night] WHO ARE YOU?!
  • Gigi getting so bored by the milquetoast nature of Still Valley that she quickly takes over the local news outlets and forces them to fabricate an entire 24-hour news cycle For the Lulz.
    Gigi: Listen folks, where I'm from the news is inflammatory opinions that even the reporters don't believe! Grab your laptops, write this down. Opinion one, blind people shouldn't be allowed to have dogs. Opinion two, only blind people should be allowed to have dogs. Are you getting this down? Cause Gigi is on a roll, baby!
    • Gigi complains how dull and mellow all the reporters are, saying that she thought they were all on cocaine.
    Reporter 1: On a reporters salary?!
    Reporter 2: Not unless there's some new cheaper, smokable version we haven't heard of!
    • Also, notice that the reporters only problem was cocaine being prohibitively expensive.
  • Glenn's brief frustrated rant about how he kept sending misbehaving kids to detention "And they kept coming-of-age!"
  • "Hey, don't say things about Ghostbusters you can't take back!"
  • The "remakes" song, which is really a massive Take That! to the entire trend of Hollywood remakes.
    "Watching all the stuff that everyone likes.
    They're gonna get remakes again, and again, and again until you die!"
  • Gigi's final report.
    Gigi: This just in: all the white people are hugging. It really is the fuckin' 80s!
  • The episode ends with Reagan sitting down with Brett to watch The Goonies on DVD... only for the two to end up disturbed by the treatment of Sloth in the movie.
    Reagan: So... is their disabled brother just straight-up chained to a wall?
    Brett: Yeah, that... that hits different, today...

    My Big Flat Earth Wedding 
  • The fact that Reagan's mother Tamiko is so narcissistic she's marrying herself. The invite even has a picture of herself admiring her own reflection.
    Myc: Oh, so that's two Tamikos on the cover. I just thought your mother was a lesbian and I was racist!
    • Myc tries to give Reagan a massage to relieve the tension from wedding planning. Except when he tries, he reads her mind.
      Reagan: [cheerfully] Anchors up at 4 pm, guys. Don't be late. [angry] Everything needs to be perfect!
      Myc: Oh, you need a massage. [touches her head with two tentacles] Oh God, her mind! The rage! The terror! [Reagan knocks his tentacles away and Myc begins flailing in a panic] Oh, we live on the edge of a knife! This wedding could doom us all! [screams then babbles before knocking himself unconscious on the desk while his co-workers watch on apathetically]
    • Speaking of the wedding, there's Reagan's hysterical laughter after one of the Cognito Inc. weather control agents she enlisted to keep distracting her dad tells her he hopes she enjoys her mom's wedding. She keeps laughing even as she drives away.
  • Rand reveals that the whole "Flat Earth" conspiracy was created as a bet between him and J.R. to see if people would believe in any conspiracy, no matter how ridiculous.
    • All the Flat-Earthers Rand is talking to over video chat recoil in shock when Reagan walks into the room.
    Rand: They haven't seen a girl in a while.
  • Tamiko tells Reagan to loosen up at the wedding.
    Tamiko: Just promise me you'll let go, and live a little? I'm not just doing this for me.
    Reagan: You're not just marrying yourself for yourself?
  • Brett's rich guy disguise, "Joffrey Game of Thrones," a British product of Brother–Sister Incest with four monocles and a love of servant thrashing. Oh, and only Jeff Bezos & the Flat-Earthers are dumb enough to fall for it.
  • J.R is trying to sell his super yacht that the wedding is held on, because it's a huge money sink and is threatening to drag him into the 0.2% from the upkeep costs.
    Brett: *genuinely horrified* No, J.R, don't say that!!
  • When Rand crashes the wedding.
    Rand: Where's the groom? I'm gonna kick his dick in the ass!
    Tamiko: Ha! There is no groom, Rand. I'm marrying myself. To make a statement about empowerment!
    Rand: What the f—You just did this to get my attention, didn't you? God, that's so stupid and sexy!
    Tamiko: You narcissist! Trying to make my wedding to myself about you!
    Myc: Wow. I'm starting to see why you're so fucked up, Reagan. There are layers.
  • The Flat Earthers hijack the yacht.
    Rand: They have guns?!
    Reagan: They're adult men who still use chatrooms, of course they have guns!
  • Reagan fills in Glenn on the situation but then struggles when describing what the Flat Earthers actually want.
    Reagan: We got boat-jacked by Flat Earth pirates! They're taking a stand about—against—you know, the purpose of the whole movement is not really clear—but they are armed and uninformed!
  • Andre's rampant descent into Sanity Slippage thanks to being forcefully put on withdrawal. He eventually gets so annoying that Myc begs one of the Flat Earthers to just shoot him.
  • The leader of the Flat Earthers grows tired of Rand and Tamiko's fighting.
    Harold: Will you two shut up? If I wanted to listen to parents arguing, I would've stayed in me and my mom's bedroom.
  • After the action, Rand suggests he and Tamiko get remarried. Such is the horror of this outcome that Reagan has Glenn command some seals to drag Rand away.
  • The numerous Take Thats at Jeff Bezos.
    • When everyone's held hostage by pirates.
      Jeff Bezos: This is unconscionable! Holding all these people in a hot, stuffy room for hours on end, making us pee in bottles with no paid sick leave! This is in no way ironic to me!
      [J.R. shoots Bezos an incredulous look]
    • After he emerges from hiding in a bathroom.
      Jeff Bezos: (right when he's eaten by a kraken) This is why I don't allow bathroom breaaaaaaaks!
      J.R: I can't believe Jeff Bezos is dead! And right in his... prime.
      [Everybody laughs hysterically]

    Ghost Protocol 
  • Reagan is afraid of breaking up with someone and looking like the bad guy for being direct. Gigi even calls her "Miss Brutal Honesty". We then get an example of this.
    Steve: I took the liberty of grabbing an extra pudding cup for my pudding. (Passes Reagan a pudding)
    Reagan: YOU'RE BORING! YOU'RE FUCKING BORING STEVE!! And the only thing keeping us together is inertia! And I feel more attachment to this disposable fork (snaps disposable fork) than I do to you!
    Multi-Mouthed Creature in the background: You Monster!
    • She also made Glenn cry at his own birthday party.
      Glenn: I was dancing too confidently and I needed to hear it.
  • The following scene after it's revealed Cognito Inc. will be working together with MI-6:
    Brett: [excitedly] Ugh, I have always wanted to be a super-spy! I used to watch all of the James Bond movies. I even had a secret identity — In public, my parents would tell people I was somebody else's kid!
    [Literally everyone in the meeting room stares at Brett's cheery smile in mute horror]
    Glenn: ...Yeesh.
  • Rafe Master's inability to keep his Secret Agent Status a secret would make Sterling Archer blush. Not only does he HALO jump into Dr. Skullfinger's lair via a Union Jack Parachute, but said parachute has the words "Masters, Rafe Masters (Secret Agent)" written on it.
    • When he re-uses it after taking Brett under his wing, the words "And Brett" are hastily added in yellow paint.
  • Just the fact that the Cognito Inc. heads use the Ghost Protocol (which is supposed to work as witness protection for "dead" celebrities) to literally ghost their exes.
    • Some of the examples given are Glenn ghosting Ann Coulter because she forced him to role-play as a liberal just so she could drink his tears, while Joe Rogan got hooked tripping on Myc's mushroom secretions and would force him to watch Jordan Peterson videos.
  • J.R. moves into Skullfinger's old base before the dead henchmen have even been cleaned up, and plans to raid the employee pension fund to buy it before flipping it as an AirBNB. Even the evil real estate agent thinks he's a psychopath, and the janitor crosses himself with still bloody hands.
  • Reagan's hilariously over the top fake death. It seems like she's about to be hit by a truck, is then shot thrice by Noel and then falls into the river (complete with taking a few moments to realize it's her cue), then lands on a junk ferry that explodes.
  • Andre is hurt when he reads the fake eulogy Reagan wrote for him which is just a joke about drugs. The others ignore his protest that he's more than just the drug guy.
    Myc: Yeah yeah, you smoke weed, we get it.
  • The Bad "Bad Acting" at the funeral. Gigi can't help but undermine the compliment she was supposed to give Reagan, Glenn reads the note verbatim only to realize that there is nothing after "we didn't always agree politically" and Myc throws it aside to insult her.
  • The fact that Reagan's plan after faking her death is to catch up on The Great British Bake Off.
  • At the funeral, Andre is chasing Glenn around with Reagan's ashes. Would've been Crosses the Line Twice if she had actually been dead.
    • Even better, there's a casket. The funeral is so over-the-top that Reagan was somehow both cremated and buried traditionally.
  • Rafe tries to get the Cognito Inc. heads to spill who assassinated Reagan during a poker game, having brought 100,000 dollars in unmarked bills. An annoyed Myc points out that they're playing with a 5 dollar buy-in.
  • When Rafe tells Brett he needs to defend himself while they're on missions together, Brett excitedly asks if he's getting a gun, only for Rafe to give him a watch that emits knockout gas.
    Brett: So you get a pistol and I get a... little watch that farts?
    Rafe: Yes, that's basically it.
    Brett: [excitedly nods] Okay, okay, I'm into it.
    • When Brett does end up using the gadget to knockout Rafe, the watch literally makes a farting sound and emits a cloud of green gas.
  • Tensions run high when the entire gang, except for Brett, are hiding from Rafe.
    Myc: We're all hiding in a panic room from your psychopath boyfriend. It's time to call it. Pull the bandaid.
    Reagan: Oh really? Would you tell Joe Rogan the truth?
    Myc: I mean, he would probably say the truth is a spectrum, and I would tell him that makes no sense, and then he'd put me into a headlock, get insanely high and then dump me into a sensory deprivation tank, so... no.
  • Reagan's entire confrontation with Rafe, where she finally vents all of her negative feelings towards him and also tells him that she thinks they don't have good sexual chemistry.
    Reagan: For a guy who's been with thousands of women, you really don't seem to know what you're doing down there!
  • invoked At the end of the episode, J.R. walks in on Rafe and Skullfinger's... whatever it is. The others consider warning him after the awkwardness of them running into each other, but reject it because they're not on the clock.

    Buzzkill 
  • In a moment of pure Black Comedy during a flashback to Reagan's childhood, little Reagan tells her father that she's been exposing her pet tortoises to controlled doses of radiation in order to create her very own Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Rand finds this both adorable and hilarious, tactlessly informs the poor girl of the Surprisingly Realistic Outcome, then takes her out to put the turtles down.
    Rand: (laughing) Ha! Are you kidding? You just gave those turtles cancer!
    Reagan: WHAT?!?
    Rand: (laughing) Yeah, what were you thinking? You just Chernobyled their insides into turtle soup!
    Reagan: (distraught) Even Mipsy!?
    * Mipsy (presumably) vomits from radiation poisoning*
    Rand: Especially Mipsy! Mipsy is gonna die, honey!
    • Lil' Reagan didn't even give them the right toy weapons, they were just an assortment of plastic action figure toys.
    • Back in present day, Rand happens to catch an episode of a modern Ninja Turtles cartoon, presumably Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
    Raph?: Yaas, Krang!
    Rand: Ugh, they're still making these?
  • Apparently, JFK wanted to go to the Moon to explore strange new worlds... of debauchery.
    JFK: We choose to go to the Moon, not because it is easy, but because I am hard.
    Myc: Ha ha, nice.
    • The mere fact that in the world of Inside Job — quite possibly the most blatant Conspiracy Kitchen Sink in the history of fiction — the Moon landings did happen... the astronauts just never returned to Earth (instead staying on the Moon to establish their own self-sustaining "free love commune"), and their return was the part that had to be faked.
    • And, of course, Stanley Kubrick was hired for the job.
    • Additionally, Cognito Inc. kidnapped Ken Burns to direct the orientation video that the Gang watches. He appears at the end of the documentary blindfolded, tied to a chair, and with a gun pointed to his head.
      Brett: Woo! Road trip! [starts to excitedly sing aloud to the Space Jam soundtrack on a set of headphones while everyone stares at him confused] Brett likes to slam the jam! Myc likes to slam the jam! Ken Burns likes to what?
      Ken Burns: [terrified] If I say "slam the jam", will you let me live?!
  • As Reagan's leaving to go to the moon, Rand reveals he and her mother had already gone to the moon colony for low-gravity sexual tourism, causing Reagan to nope right out of the conversation.
    Reagan: This is why I'm going. In space, no one can hear their dad talk about boning their mom!
    Rand: While you're up there, find my sunglasses I left behind! [Reagan flips him off] Ray-Bands. Gray lenses. [Reagan leaves the apartment] I was wearing them during a threesome with your mom. [cut outside to Rand sticking his head out the window as Reagan gets in her car] Did you hear me talking about the threesome, honey? Threesome! [Reagan drives off] THREE—she's gone.
  • Brett plans to replant the American flag on the Moon.
    [As both Brett and Reagan exit their spaceship to set foot on the Moon, he eagerly unfolds a copy of... the Jamaican flag featuring Garfield's head with dreadlocks and smoking marijuana]
    Reagan: [wearily] Brett, that's a flag of Rasta Garfield.
    [Beat of Brett studying the Rasta Garfield flag in visible confusion]
    Brett: [angrily] Damn it, Cafepress! You've hoodwinked me for the last time!
  • The moment that causes Brett to think Buzz Aldrin might be Reagan's real father after finding out he slept with Reagan's mom thirty years ago.
    Reagan and Buzz: [talking simultaneously and making the exact same gestures] I can't believe I'm still dealing with your bullshit, Rand! You're almost as annoying as my weak bladder which some say is genetic!
  • When Melvin Stupowitz (the crisis actor paid to replace Buzz Aldrin on Earth) tries to reveal the truth of the Moon landing and shadow government on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon after being notified that he's being "cancelled" since the real Buzz Aldrin seems to be returning to Earth soon, Gigi reveals that Jimmy Fallon of all people is actually a sleeper agent on behalf of Cognito Inc..
  • Reagan naturally has issues with a terrible father, so when she learns her real father might actually be Buzz Aldrin, she decides to see if he's better than Rand first. Brett says he'd do the exact same thing, leading to this incredible moment:
    Reagan and Brett: [while excitedly doing a weird handshake together] Daddy issues, yea-uh!
  • Brett ends up teaming up with Rand to prove that Reagan is Rand's biological daughter after Brett's own daddy issues flare up.
    Brett: Only if you tussle my hair approvingly! I still never got that "Atta-boy from J.R!
    Rand: Deal!
    • And later on, when they're searching the moon colony for parts for Rand's genetic scanner.
    Brett: Anything for you, Moon Daddy!
    Rand: *annoyed* Don't call me Moon Daddy!
  • Reagan describing Buzz Aldrin as "villainously horny" when his Evil Plan is revealed.
  • The end of the episode is a clip of Magic Myc deliver an end-of-episode disclaimer to the audience (in a library with a fireplace while reading a book) that yes, the Moon landings were real:
    Magic Myc: So, please...
    The Whole Cast: Don't sue us, Buzz Aldrin!

    Mole Hunt 
  • Part of Reagan's plan to make Cognito Inc. a Benevolent Conspiracy is to splice positive brainwashing into children's programming. This takes the form of an episode of The Teletubbies that occasionally flashes an image of Baphomet and a demonic voice telling children "Recycle", "Healthcare is a right" and "Delete Twitter".
  • Reagan becomes so desperate to find the mole that she decides to slip all her friends Truth Serum, despite Brett's reservations.
    Reagan: In a perfect world, we wouldn't have to drug our friends to avoid being eaten by sharks, but we live in America in the 2020s and all bets are off!
  • Gigi admitting that she's applied to work at the Illuminati (Cognito Inc.'s main competitor) since she's sick of getting no respect from her co-workers.
    Gigi: I don't even think any of you even know what my damn last name is!
    Myc: [thoughtfully] ...I want to say, "Luigi"?
    Gigi: [aghast] Gigi Luigi?! [genuinely furious] I'm gonna kick whatever you have instead of an ass!
  • After discovering a wig, a fidget spinner, and a set of spare clothes in a safe Glenn was being evasive about, he admits that they're actually part of his undercover identity "Chad Dallas":
    Glenn: The truth is, I've been working undercover at Georgetown under the alias of 19-year-old liberal arts major "Chad Dallas".
    [Cut to Glenn in a Paper-Thin Disguise of a college student at a dorm awkwardly coughing while trying to vape and hanging out with two bored-looking college students]
    Glenn: [vo] The only thing Chad loves more than vaping on his electronic cigarettes is signing up his fellow teens to become drone pilots for the US military!
    Glenn: invoked [as Chad Dallas while the two students absent-mindedly sign Glenn's clipboard] Thanks, bros! Sacrificing yourself to the state is bae! [dabs]
    [Cut back to the present with Glenn finishing his explanation to the Gang]
    Ethics-Bot: [scans Glenn] Area cleared.
    Glenn: [smugly] Booyah! [dabs again] Exonerated!
  • When Oprah reveals to J.R. that she knows there's a mole at Cognito Inc., you can see J.R.'s butt visibly clench in fear.
  • Reagan waiting for the surveillance feed to load on Rand's very old computer system:
    Reagan: Jesus, I've seen potato clocks with more RAM.

    Inside Reagan 
  • According to Bear-O, Reagan's dream is to be "a LEGO Astronaut that gets married on Mars to *NSYNC". Reagan points out that she was eight years old when she said that.
  • What does Reagan's mindscape look like? A series of giant conspiracy boards with red string.
    Reagan: Even in my brain, I'm a paranoid maniac who shops at Michaels.
  • invoked Reagan built a robotic Jurassic Park-style Velociraptor for her film-themed birthday. It immediately kills a squirrel on instinct. Reagan then greets Orrin while riding it, blood still dripping from its mouth, causing him to run away screaming that he's too young to die. Granted, it later becomes significantly less funny when it's later revealed to be a fake memory Rand created when excising all memory of Orrin from Reagan's mind, as the actual Orrin turned up and had no problem playing on Reagan's velociraptor.
  • invoked Brett accidentally enters a memory of Reagan lacking a date for homecoming and, being the Nice Guy that he is, offers to take her. The Unfortunate Implications of a teenage girl taking a 30-year old man to her homecoming dance is not lost on the writers, who wrangle as much Cringe Comedy out of it as possible.
  • After a comforting talk between Brett and a teenaged Reagan at her dismal excuse for a homecoming, the latter promptly reveals how exactly she got revenge on her Jerkass classmates: Namely, in Brett's own words, "pulling a reverse-Carrie on them" (read: having individually prepared buckets of pig's blood hanging from the rafters dunk each and every one of them while they're all partying).
  • Reagan's high school science project was an attempt at making frog dissections more realistic by making a man/frog hybrid.
    Hybrid: Though I have the organs of a man, I lack your immortal soul! Fie unto thee!
    Reagan: I really need to cut back on the "playing God".

    Hybrid: From Hell's heart I dissect thee!
  • When the gang comes across *NSYNC in Reagan's lab (having been kidnapped by Bear-O to fulfill Reagan's childhood dreams), Glenn is the only one who recognizes them.
    Myc: How do you know so much about *N SYNC?!
    Glenn: That album got me through Kosovo!
  • invoked The gang comes across a discarded attempt from Reagan at giving them an emotional thanks for helping her reach CEO status. While she gives genuinely heartfelt compliments to most of the Gang (Gigi and Glenn's fearlessness, Andre's originality), the only compliment she can give Myc is that his shittiness makes them all seem better by comparison.
    Myc: [audibly unimpressed] ...Wow.
  • To discourage Reagan from entering the repressed parts of their memories, Rand says some things are meant to be redacted. As an example, he says 9/11 was caused by [CENSOR BLEEP]. And then immediately points out that he can't say it even in Reagan's memories.
  • Before plugging ROBOTUS into the network, the gang make sure to disable external wi-fi to prevent him from launching the nukes... and from figuring out what furries are. Glenn takes a moment to defend furries as not always being sexual, though admits that they usually are.
  • In an otherwise emotional moment, the Rand in Reagan's memories sees his adult daughter, realizes he's a memory much like another abusive super scientist, and immediately starts drinking.
    • Just before he erases Reagan's memory, Rand remarks on what a stupid name Reagan's friend Orrin has and gleefully declares that he's saving him from "a life in the friendzone."
  • The final line of the episode, and the season, when Reagan learns the Shadow Board has decided she's not experienced enough to run Cognito Inc. and selects Rand instead.
    Reagan: OH, YOU MOTHERFU-(cut to black)

Season 1, Part 2

    How Reagan Got Her Grove Back 
  • The episode opens with Regan in the exact same place her father was in episode one: standing in front of the White House, drunk and spilling the beans on the shadow government. She even tells a group of school children that Minions are real and she’s touched one, Santa is fake, and student debt is real.
    • She’s even gotten a tramp stamp: "Mommy Likey Drinky".
      Regan: [genuinely surprised] When did I get that?
  • Reagan despondently tells Brett that for breakfast that morning, she drank something called a "Lime-A-Rita", a Budweiser product with a lime flavoring. Later, while she's standing on the meeting table and trying to incite the others into rebellion against Rand, a bunch of Lime-A-Rita cans falls out of her lab coat.
    Myc: So this is what rock bottom looks like! More tropical than I expected...
  • "Oh my god, are you trying to Jerry Maguire us?!"
  • While the scene of Cognito becoming a corporate hellhole under Rand's influence is mostly Played for Drama, the part where he claims Cognito will reclaim it's glory days, along with its "ex-wife, daughter, and original beautiful hairline" is gold.
    • This scene also has Rand's giant hologram accidentally flashing everyone through an opening in his kimono when he bends down to tell Reagan and Brett to get to the war room. Both of them are so horrified that they have to stop each other from vomiting until they reach the restrooms.
  • According to the Anonymous Anonymous meeting, the Slender Man is so slender because of bulimia.
  • The various secret societies that rule the world include Cognito Inc., the Illuminati, the Atlanteans, the Catholic Church, the Reptoids... and the Juggalos, for some reason.
    Juggalo: We control global finance!
  • Glenn and Myc head to the V.I.P. Area, only to find out it stands for the "Visually Inconvenient People" Area which includes an ugly Reptoid, some ugly Atlanteans and, standing by the garbage...
    I'm Dermot Baldwin. I didn't know I existed either!
  • The massive series of Take Thats to Alex Jones.
    Reagan: Who would be dumb enough to get thrown in Bohemian Grove Jail?
    Alex Jones: All the righteous gotta stick together!
    Reagan and Ron: Alex Jones?!
    Alex Jones: I got a plan to get us out of here, but I need $25,000 to invest in yak testosterone supplements that will give me—now stay with me here—time travel abilities!!
    Reagan: Great, now we're stuck here with the school-shooting denier who looks like an orangutan fucked a fire hydrant!
    • When Ron refuses to explain why he was sabotaging his own company at the Power Struggle earlier:
      Jones: That's right, buddy, you don't owe a woman a goddamn thing. Especially child support!!!
      Reagan: Yeesh. Look, we gotta get out of here before he takes his shirt off.
      Ron: Why does he always do that? Does he think it looks good?
      Reagan: Yeah, I think he thinks it looks good.
    • Ron asks Jones for a tape recorder.
      Ron: Hey buddy, do you have a tape recorder?
      Jones: 'Course I do! I'm the only person left who will listen to me!!
    • And when Ron knocks him and the security guards out with a subliminal message:
      Jones: What in the flat world?!
    • Alex Jones makes one more appearance at the very end of the episode as the party is going to hell — this time with him being naked, tripping on LSD, and literally on fire.
      Jones: OH GOD! I, ALEX JONES, AM SECRETLY IN LOVE WITH HILLARY CLINTON! DON'T TELL PEOPLE!
  • Glenn and Myc's talk with the Juggalos in the VIP Area.
    Juggalo: Check a mirror, my ninja. Society is clowning on you. You feeling disrespected? Treated like a joke?
    Glenn: Our missions do feel suspiciously like B-stories.
    • The Juggalos "converting" Myc and Glenn, complete with giving them pamphlets. Myc thinks the entire thing is stupid until he touches a juggalo's hand and reads his mind.
      Myc: My God! He has the most powerful mind I've ever encountered.
      Glenn: This insane clown posse is starting to sound like a sane clown posse!
    • When it's time for Cognito Inc. to leave, Myc and Glenn show up in Juggalo attire, saying they've found their new family. It only takes Rand getting them to look at their reflections for them to realize their mistake.
      Myc: Jesus Christ, what the fuck are we doing?! Why is my wallet on a metal leash? Where would it be trying to go?!
      Glenn: I thought we were into this!
      Myc: We look like fucking idiots, Glenn!
      Glenn: My name isn't Glenn anymore. It's Killer Nugs, and this tattoo is permanent!
  • Reagan and Ron decide to bang while hiding in the owl statue. As they make out, Reagan's glove and Ron's goggles are accidentally activated, causing Rand and Dietrich to kiss each other in front of the crowd.
    • While snuggling together in front of a fire inside the statue, Reagan and Ron suddenly realize that neither of them started a fire and discover that the whole statue has burst into flame from outside.

    Whoas-Feratu 
  • When Mr. Mothman interrupts her and Ron's "coping mechanism," Reagan distracts him by flipping a light switch, causing Mr. Mothman to repeatedly fly up and bang his head into the fluorescent light so she and Ron can go back into the closet.
    Reagan: Class dismissed.
  • In the Cold Open, Rand believes that Tamiko is going to get back with him, so he sets up romantic decorations in the room and declares that Tamiko realized that he is the one for her. Tamiko then appears with her boyfriend, Keanu Reeves, and they start smooching in front of everyone.
    Reagan: Well, you were right about her finding "the One". (chuckles) You know, from The Matrix, the One?
    Rand: MOTHER-
    Intro theme plays
    Rand: -FUCKER!
    Andre: Well, he is fucking Reagan's mother, so yes, motherfucker.
  • The Running Gag of Keanu Reeves being such a good guy that he is beloved and adored, not just by the cast, but by the universe itself.
    Keanu Reeves: [giving Rand a flower] Here. Have a lotus. I don't put these in my pockets. They just grow there spontaneously.
  • When Rand is predictably furious that Tomiko is dating Keanu Reeves, Keanu just hugs him, and Rand is so confused and surprised by the act that he forgets to be angry. Later on, he claims Keanu "hypnotized him".
  • Rand orders Reagan to break Keanu and Tamiko up, but she refuses, saying that Rand's blood is "4% cigarette ash and 9% STDs" before going off for her "coping mechanism".
    • As Reagan drives off, her friends cheer her on.
      Gigi: She's finally getting laid, right?
      Myc: Oh yeah.
      Andre: Definitely.
      Glenn: Thank God.
      Brett: Good for all of us!
  • To get Tamiko back, Rand orders the team to put a film into production emphasizing his sexiness, which is a tall order due to Gigi describing him as "Willem Dafoe fucked a meth needle", which Rand attributes to his awesome living.
  • Rand's motivational words to the team as they prepare to make a movie.
    Rand: Okay, people, like I said to Tonya Harding when she asked me for career advice, let's break some legs!
  • After Reagan discovers Keanu Reeves' Dark Secret.
    Reagan: What was that? Is Keanu Reeves some kind of a vampire? Are vampires real? Am I spiraling?! Is all of this out loud?!
  • Tamiko tells Keanu Reeves she's invited Reagan to see their movie. Just after Reagan found him drinking blood.
    Keanu Reeves: When you see the movie, Reagan, you will just die! [Ominous organ music plays; Camera pans to reveal a cat had jumped up onto the keys of a literal organ] Oops. Down, Keanu. I named my cat Keanu after the movie Keanu about a cat named after me... Keanu.
  • Reagan's attempt at disguising herself as Keanu and dumping Tamiko to keep her away from the real one backfires because Tamiko thinks it's some kind of sexy roleplay, and that's a step too far for Reagan.
  • Reagan's last resort to save her mother.
    Reagan: I'm all out of options. If I want to save my mom, I have to do what The Lake House couldn't: Kill Keanu Reeves.
  • In order to infiltrate the premiere without Gigi's good looks drawing attention to them, Reagan gives Gigi a makeunder.
    Reagan: When I'm done with you, you'll be so average that men will look at you the way they look at me... Briefly.
    • invoked The plan works. Not only do Reagan and Gigi get to walk the red carpet without drawing attention, all the photographers are literally incapable of seeing them, at most getting the vague feeling someone's there. Additionally, Gigi's first reaction to her "make-under" is a jovial "I hate it! I wanna cyberbully myself!"
  • Reagan ambushing Keanu in the bathroom.
    Reagan: Catch you at a bad time, Keanu?
    Keanu Reeves: To quote myself, "Whoa."
  • invoked Rand forces Andre to make a youth serum for him. It initially works great and ages him down to his 20s. However, during a dramatic scene, he ages down to a toddler, making him curse and rant at the team and throw age-appropriate tantrums. By the time he is seen again, he's an infant wearing a diaper. In the final scene, it's revealed that the team filmed the rest of the movie's scenes with Rand as an infant. One scene even had Baby Rand's character seduce a woman he saved, with the scene jumping to the next morning, implying they had sex. They all agreed it was awful, Myc refuses to put his name on the film and quits on the spot.
    • When the team goes to save Reagan and Tomiko from the celebrity vampires, Andre says that they should bring a booster seat for Baby Rand.
    Andre: Okay, but I think we should bring Boostie!
    Rand: NO BOOSTIE!!
    • After first being restored to his prime, Rand demands 20-no, 30 more sex scenes be added to the script. Cue much collective groaning.
    Glenn: Already so many! Goddamnit!
  • Reagan defeats Leonardo DiCaprio and the other Hollywood vampires by tricking them into drinking Baby Rands blood.
    Reagan: You're about to mainline enough bad choices for a thousand lifetimes!
    Rand: My bloodtype is O Shit!

    Reagan and Mychelle's Hive School Reunion 
  • At the Hive School Reunion, it's revealed that Myc was an unabashed Dragon Ball Z fan when he was younger, as a video shows him talking about the plot of the Freeza Saga and holding a Goku action figure before a bully shoves him in a locker.
    • A hilarious bit of Fridge Logic; this is Myc's 5000th reunion, meaning that he was somehow a Dragonball fan 5000 years before the franchise existed.
  • The sheer absurdity of Rand's sniper security detail, in that he has dedicated snipers for sniping the other snipers. And that still isn't enough levels of protection and discretion for him.
    Rand: Hmm...but then who will snipe the sniper-snipers...
    • It's also worth a reminder that Rand's entire Sanity Slippage is based around someone crapping on his desk.
    • And later, when he discovers one of the paintings in his office is actually just a cover for a tunnel:
      Rand: [gasps in shock] The shit's coming from inside the house?!?!
  • The Mystery Crapper turns out to be J.R, who's been living inside the walls of Cognito since his escape, and subsisting off Poverty Food he dressed up like luxury meals, like Rat Tartare and Gucci Loafer Soup.

    We Found Love in a Popeless Place 
  • Rand barges into the room after an HR-presentation and shoos away Mothman by hitting him with a rolled up piece of paper like he's an actual insect.
    • But the real kicker is what he says as he barges in, and Reagan's response.
      Reagan: Oh, for the love of God, context!
  • Reagan agrees to take Rand's mission to Rome so she could have a date with Ron. She taunts her team by activating robot arms to get her sunglasses, only to be drenched in champagne.
  • Reagan doing her bad Italian accent after brainwashing the Pope:
    Raegan: You don't mind, Your Holiness? [imitating the Pope and sticking her fingers in his mouth] Its-a good Reagan! Fuggetaboutit! Mamma mia! Lets-a go! [laughs] Oh man, if God is real, I am fucked.
  • Ron is struck with his own brainwashing device and starts moaning about all the innocuous things that he did like coveting his neighbor's Sega Genesis, killing a ladybug when he was six, and telling Kanye West about politics.
  • The entire B-plot involving the struggle between the rest of the Gang and the TSA.

    Brettwork 
  • The opening where Brett's family has their annual dinner, where the father and mother rank their kids based on their accomplishments, with their place in the will being dependant on their status. Since Brett can't talk about his classified job, he's demoted to fourth place, with the family dog taking his place in third, due to recently having puppies.
  • Jagg Hand's Senatorial campaign ad:
    Announcer: invoked Jagg Hand for U.S. Senate! Because in Virginia, Hand means jobs!
    • The Hand family recast Brett with an inspirationally handicapped actor named Wheelchair Brett to play Jagg's brother in the campaign ads.
  • The multiple instances of Springtime for Hitler when ROBOTUS, Reagan and Brett all fail at derailing Brett's Senatorial campaign.
    • He tries to get caught in a sex scandal with a female dominatrix prostitute? He somehow legalizes and unionizes sex work.
      Brett: I couldn't help it! The solution just seemed so obvious!
    • He tries to get caught doing cocaine with a notorious Canadian drug lord? Brett sneezes while sniffing the cocaine off a glass tray, breaking it and killing the drug lord, resulting in him getting the Key to the City of Toronto and arranging a deal to have Canadian water-reserves be used to douse the Californian wildfires.
      Brett: But they were just so polite about it, I didn't want to disappoint them!
    • He tries to insult veterans? He saves Glenn's life during a televised interview while making it appear like he suddenly made a paralyzed veteran able to walk again.
      Crowd: You can do no wrong, Brett Hand!
  • The entire Silent Credits, wherein "Li'l Brett" goes on a rampage through Cognito Inc. after Brett realizes that since "Wheelchair Brett"/Brian won the election for Virginian Senator against Jagg after Brett abdicated the race, this entire episode was more or less for nothing.
    • Earlier on, JR points out that if they had known Brett likes ventriloquism and puppeteering, they wouldn't have needed to try and tank his campaign at all, since that alone would have killed his approval ratings.

    Rontagion 

    Project Reboot 
  • The first sign that something is wrong with the space-time continuum is that the infamous movie dud Kazaam starring Shaquile O'Neil, is now called Shazaam, and stars the comedian Sinbad. Which incidentally happens to be Brett's favorite movie.
    • Brett's reaction when one of the timeline changes results in the movie becoming Shamu-Zaam, which somehow starred the orca from Free Willy.
    Brett: Shamu-Zaam?! We GOT to stop this madness!!
  • The Running Gag of J.R.'s surprisingly muscular torso covered in tattoos, and his continual refusal to put on a shirt even as the world goes to Hell.
    Gigi: Okay, according to J.R.'s body [shamefully, under her breath] that I'm still having confusing feelings about...
    • If you look closely, you can see J.R. start smirking as soon as she admits it.
    • One of JR's biggest gripes with his life is that he never got published by the Harvard Lampoon back in college.
  • Brett's cheerful comparison of Project Reboot to the works of Christopher Nolan:
  • The flashback to Rand and J.R.'s first meeting with the Shadow Robes has this bit of Mood Whiplash:
    Shadow Robe: We are the power behind all things, the true rulers of the world. But our ancient ways have gotten... [a pillar in the background falls down, crushing a worker] ...a bit out of date.
  • ROBOTUS complains that having a TV screen connected to his torso makes him look like a Teletubby. Reagan assures him that isn't true... before sticking a Tinky-Winky-like triangular antenna to his head. His Death Glare to her is only icing on the cake.
  • The reveal that the show itself is already set in an Alternate Timeline, originally created when Rand and JR created Project Reboot back during their college days. They only used it once (it was originally meant to be a time machine), and apparently the only changes was that Rand's facial hair disappeared and Earth now only had one moon.
    JR: There used to be two moons. Surfing was way better back in the old timeline. Menstrual cycles were HELL though...
  • Andre's Alternate Timeline, where he became a multi-millionaire after randomly finding a dollar bill and buying a lottery ticket with it. In the original timeline, this was the same day he began to work at Cognito, due to wandering into a recruitment stall manned by "Grassy" Noel after dropping out of college.
    Andre: Ah, I've successfully dropped out of college and stolen this graduation robe, what does the future hold for Andre?
  • Gigi's Alternate Timeline self was the Queen of the Illuminati... but with the caveat that she had to run the Illuminati's Disney Channel division. Evidently, that was a bridge too far even for her.
    Gigi: [horrified, to Reagan] Doc McStuffins?! More like Doc McStuffed With Satanic Messages!!
    [Smash Cut to Gigi nervously performing the famous invoked "drawing a Mickey Mouse head" Disney Channel bumper... but instead drawing a Satanic pentagram]
    Gigi: [with an "Oh God, please kill me" smile] You're watching... the Disney Channel!
  • Brett's ideal Alternate Timeline is revealed to have him as the world's premiere puppeteer... but with the caveat of "that world being so catty!"
    [Cut to Brett intensely stitching a hand puppet together while a bored-looking critic supervises him]
    Critic: Your stitching is... [sighs] adequate.
    Brett: [tearfully grabs his puppet and hugs it] You said something nice but it sounded mean!

    Appleton 

Top