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- In the first issue, Harley offers Batman a pink cupcake, and says there were two. She challenges him to guess what happened to the other cupcake.Batman: You ate one.
- Issue #2: The Helmet of Fate holds untold power. And several sucker arrows at the back, courtesy of Connor Lance-Queen, to poor Kent Nelson's exasperation.Doctor Fate: Dinah Lance. Oliver. Please ask your son to stop shooting me in the head.
Oliver: (seeing a half-dozen arrows on the back of the helmet) Hmm. Good grouping.
- Fate says that Dinah "was meant to die." Cue a Canary Cry slamming him outside the cabin and a special arrow cutting through his hand. He then explains he only meant Dinah was meant to die but he saved her.Dinah: Well why didn't you just open with that?Oliver: Seriously, you'd have one less hole in you if you just tried speaking like a normal person.
- Calendar Man begs Evil!Batman not to kill him... because it's his birthday.
- "The most secure location on the planet" is Batman-speak for "there's a really well-wrapped Christmas present under the tree". So says Harley Quinn. Killer Croc asks out of curiosity what Batman would get for Christmas:Harley: Sadness. In black.
- Dinah's proposal to Alt!Oliver Queen is a Heartwarming Moment, but there's still some chuckles to be had. The awkwardness leads Ollie to ask Batman to do "that thing where people turn around and he just disappears". So Batman does exactly that. "Seriously, how the hell does he do that?"
- This leads Connor to ask what's going on. "Your dad and I are getting married." His response?
- In issue #6, Green Arrow explains to Harley that he's not their universe's Ollie, so he has no idea about their relationship in this one. Harley states that in this universe, she had an affair with him. Cue a mass Big "WHAT?!" from Ollie, Dinah and Batgirl. Harley chuckles and reveals she was just kidding. She adds that she did hang out with Ollie (platonically) in The Quiver. Cue another puzzled Ollie; when Harley explains she and the other Ollie renamed the Arrow Cave "the Quiver", Ollie looks nonplussed for a moment, then smiles and admits that it was a better name for his lair.
- In issue #8:
- Connor tells Bats that his dad told him that Batman was the best in the world at moping.
- Damian snarking I'm Standing Right Here when Bruce muses about how angry Damian is. Bruce retorts that glaring at Alfred isn't helping.
- In issue #13:Ted:note I know this is supposed to be a secret, but Batman gave me the head's up that you were getting married. So I... I missed the first one. Me an' the Justice Society were fighting a lava monster in another dimension.
Dinah: Yeah, those interdimensional lava monsters have no appreciation for important life events.
- Ted admits he's not up for "feelings stuff" so asks if there's time to spar. Cue Dinah walking down the aisle with hair askew, one eye black and dress torn. Oliver just takes it in stride.
- This exchange:Jefferson: Do you understand your role, Connor?
Connor: I'm the ring bearer, Mr. Pierce.
Oliver: Yes, and what do you do?
Connor: I bear the ring.
Oliver: You wait outside, and when the music starts playing, what do you do?
Connor: I take the ring...
Connor: ... AND I THROW IT INTO THE FIERY PIT OF MOUNT DOOM!
Oliver: (to Bruce, as Jefferson guffaws) Did you put him up to that?
- In issue #16
- Luke McDunnagh, the son of Plastic Man, tries to hide from Batman. He fails miserably, despite his flawless Voluntary Shapeshifting, thanks to Batman being, well, Batman.Batman: You're the armchair against the wall.Luke: (transforms back to normal) No. No. No. AGHH!(Luke escapes around a corner while Batman slowly follows him.)Batman: You're the trash can.Luke: (sprouts legs and runs away)AGHH!Batman: You're the rug.Luke: (showing his mouth) GAH!Luke: (revealing his head) How the hell are you doing that? I'm trying to play hide-and-seek with Batman. What did I think would happen?
- Luke McDunnagh, the son of Plastic Man, tries to hide from Batman. He fails miserably, despite his flawless Voluntary Shapeshifting, thanks to Batman being, well, Batman.
- In Issue 42, Orca walks into a room full of supervillains and announces she's pregnant to the father: Killer Croc. Deadshot does a Spit Take, and Captain Boomerang and Man-Bat look horrified/confused.
- Later on, Deadshot begins to ask the father several questions about the baby. The fathers reaction is to smash Floyd into the wall.
- Next issue, the expecting parents kiss. Which wouldve been sweet, if not for Deadshot and Captain Boomerangs reactions.Deadshot: That is so messed up.
- In Issue #51, we get this:
- Bruce Wayne: My security system at Wayne Manor has been affected. It has several fail-safes. This shouldn't happen.Michael Carter: Um... have you tried turning it on and off again?Bruce:It's a little more complicated than that.(Bruce speaks into his receiver)Bruce:Have you tried turning it on and off again?
- Issue 63...well, I guess a Green Lantern's power is limited only to the imagination...so if you want to conjure an enormous penis and smack the enemy with it...sure, why not?
- Green lantern Lobo: Beware my power...GREEN LANTERN'S ***!
- Supergirl vs. BatmanSupergirl: Hard to tell, but you look grumpy.
Batman: Kryptonians give me headaches.
Supergirl: You're in for a doozy.
- Atrocitus vs. Supergirl
- Supergirl vs. AtrocitusSupergirl: You gonna spit up on me, Atrocitus?
Atrocitus: Irritating female...
Supergirl: Y'know who else does that? Babies!
- Bane vs. Harley QuinnBane: I will destroy you with one hand.
Harley Quinn: What's the other one gonna be doing?
Bane: Silence, clown!
- Blue Beetle vs. Harley QuinnBlue Beetle: Shall we duel, Your Highness?
Harley Quinn: How about slaps and tickles at ten paces?!
Blue Beetle: Just my luck... freak of nature...
- Harley Quinn vs. Wonder WomanHarley Quinn: How's it feel being the villain?
Wonder Woman: You're the villain, Quinn.
Harley Quinn: The lady's crazier than I am!
- Supergirl vs. SupergirlSupergirl 1: Do I actually have a sister?!
Supergirl 2: Pfft, as if.
Supergirl 1: How dare you get my hopes up!
- Supergirl vs. SupergirlSupergirl 1: Kara Zor-El?
Supergirl 2: Who wants to know?
Supergirl 1: Kara Zor-El.
- Supergirl vs. SupergirlSupergirl 1: What's your deal?
Supergirl 2: I'm Supergirl! You playing dress-up?
Supergirl 1: More like...beat-em-up!
- Blue Beetle vs. BatmanBlue Beetle: It's Beetle versus Bat!
Batman: Bats eat beetles.
Blue Beetle: ...that escalated quickly.
- Atrocitus vs. Blue BeetleAtrocitus: You are a bug, Blue Beetle...
Blue Beetle: Whatever you say, cat lady!
Atrocitus: DEX-STARR SHALL GNAW ON YOUR BONES!
- Superman vs. Blue BeetleSuperman: Are you sure about this?
Blue Beetle: Nope! But I'm here.
Superman: I'll give you points for honesty.
- Green Arrow vs. FirestormGreen Arrow: So, has Bruce ever sat you down for... the talk?
Firestorm: How young do you think I am?
Green Arrow: Not that talk, Firestorm.
- Green Arrow vs. CatwomanGreen Arrow: Aww nuts, I forgot my spray bottle!
Catwoman: [rolls eyes] Hilarious, Ollie.
Green Arrow: [smirks] I know.
- Blue Beetle vs. Supergirl
- Captain Cold vs. Dr. FateCaptain Cold: Doctor.
Dr. Fate: Captain.
Captain Cold: Just need a priest and we can walk into a bar.
- This one is particularly funny if the fight starts in the Ace o' Clubs bar.
- Doctor Fate vs. Captain Cold
- Batman vs Poison IvyPoison Ivy: Selina's billionaire sugar daddy.
Batman: Green with jealousy?
Poison Ivy: Don't flatter yourself.
- Even funnier when it's noticed that Batman doesn't deny this accusation at all.
- Green Arrow vs. BrainiacGreen Arrow: Why are all the aliens I meet despots?!
Brainiac: Earth's leaders are little different.
Green Arrow: ...got me there.
- Gorilla Grodd vs. The FlashGrodd: Hold still, puny hero.
Flash: Sorry. Restless leg syndrome.
Grodd: I'll tear them from your hips!
- The Flash vs. Gorilla GroddFlash: Like the threads?
Grodd: Your costume's ridiculous.
Flash: At least I'm wearing pants!
- Green Lantern vs. Green ArrowGreen Lantern: Billionaire social justice warrior...
Green Arrow: I'll take that as a compliment!
Green Lantern: [scoff] You and your bleeding heart...
- Green Arrow Vs. Green LanternGreen Arrow: Green Arrow's got this...
Green Lantern: Stealing my favorite catchphrase?!
Green Arrow: Whatcha gonna do about it chum?
- Joker vs. Robin
- Joker vs. ScarecrowJoker: I just love these Arkham reunions!
Scarecrow: I spiked your punch.
Joker: Naughty naughty, Scarecrow!
- Bane vs. Green LanternBane: I thought you supported the Regime?
Green Lantern: A hundred percent Team Batman now!
Bane: My least favorite team.
- Superman vs Green ArrowSuperman: This won't be a fair fight.
Green Arrow: Seems only sporting I give you a chance.
Superman: That was actually kind of funny.
- The Joker vs. Darkseid
- Harley Quinn vs. Harley QuinnHarley Quinn 1: Hey, good lookin'!
Harley Quinn 2: Whatcha got cookin'?
Harley Quinn 1: A knuckle buster parfait!
- Captain Cold vs. Green ArrowCaptain Cold: Move, Arrow, and I'll blast ya!
Green Arrow: Why's it gotta be a cold gun?
Captain Cold: "Captain Tropical" doesn't roll off the tongue.
- The Flash vs. Wonder WomanFlash: Hitting me won't be easy!
Wonder Woman: You're only the fastest man alive, Barry.
Flash: ...I see what you did there.
- Harley Quinn vs. Green ArrowHarley Quinn: Ollie! I quiver with joy!
Green Arrow: Archery puns, really?
Harley Quinn: Don't be so cross...bow.
- Harley Quinn vs. AquamanHarley Quinn:: Docs now say fish remember faces.
Aquaman: I'll never forget yours!
Harley Quinn: [gasp] It's true!
- Black Canary vs. Harley QuinnBlack Canary: You said "girl's night out", Harley.
Harley Quinn: Well, we're out, ain't we?
Black Canary: This isn't what's meant by "doing shots".
- Batman vs. The JokerBatman: We're not doing this anymore, Joker.
Joker: You're breaking up with me?
Batman: I'm breaking you.
- Batman vs. The JokerBatman: You're supposed to be dead.
Joker: Maybe we're both dead, Bats!
Batman: Then this would be Hell.
- Green Arrow vs. The FlashGreen Arrow: My earth's Flash would like a word.
The Flash: I can imagine what that word is...
Green Arrow: I'd tell you, but this is a family show.
- Captain Cold vs. The Flash
- Captain Cold vs. FirestormCaptain Cold: Fire 'n' ice...
Firestorm: Heh, a played-out theme, don'tcha think?
Captain Cold: Got a soft spot for the classics.
- Captain Cold vs. Harley QuinnCaptain Cold: Back off, Harley.
Harley: Aye-aye, Cap'n! Heard ya had a cold anyway...
Captain Cold: (in a mockingly sweet tone) If anyone's sick, precious, it's you!
- Batman vs. Harley QuinnBatman: Dinah said you woke up screaming for Joker.
Harley: ...yeah, that dream was really Not Safe for Work.
Batman: Should I be concerned?
- Harley Quinn vs. Batman
- Harley Quinn vs. Batman (again)Harley: Ya ever gonna trust me 100%?
Batman: I don't trust anyone that much.
Harley: Fine! I'll settle for 80.
- Harley Quinn vs. Cheetah
- The Joker vs. CyborgJoker: Boop beep dop boop boop!
Cyborg: ...what are you doing?
Joker: That's robot for "you're dead"!
- The Joker vs. AtrocitusJoker: What's big, red, and ugly all over?
Atrocitus: DON'T SAY IT!
Joker: ...so you've heard it already.
- The Joker vs. DeadshotJoker: Guns, guns, guns...where's the art?
Deadshot: I don't get paid extra for creativity.
- The Joker vs. Green Arrow
- The Joker vs. Captain ColdCaptain Cold: I'm pretty funny too, y'know.
Joker: Let's hear what you got!
Captain Cold: I'm more into physical comedy.
- The Joker vs. ScarecrowJoker: I guess we are somewhat alike.
Scarecrow: We're both agents of chaos.
Joker: But I'm the pretty one!
- The Joker vs. Blue Beetle
- Supergirl vs. Gorilla GroddSupergirl: Got something for you, Grodd.
Gorilla Grodd: How bad can it be?
Supergirl: You'll believe a gorilla can fly!
- Cyborg vs. ScarecrowCyborg: What's your deal, anyway?
Scarecrow: I create fear and disruption.
Cyborg: Online, we call that "trolling".
- Green Lantern vs. ScarecrowGreen Lantern: Ugh, between you and Sinestro, I can't sleep.
Scarecrow: I know what keeps you awake...
Green Lantern: Yeah, too much coffee and dumb villain banter.
- Scarecrow vs. Poison IvyScarecrow: Rejecting your own people?
Poison Ivy: For being botanophobes.
Scarecrow: ...Said the anthropophobe...
- Firestorm vs. ScarecrowFirestorm: How about a little fire, Scarecrow?!
Scarecrow: A film reference?!
Firestorm: ...Next time, Professor, I'll do the trash-talking./I'll send you over the rainbow...
- Green Arrow vs. SupermanGreen Arrow: Shouldn't have messed with Dinah.
Superman: She scares me more than you, Oliver.
Green Arrow: ...Some days she scares me too.
- Harley Quinn vs. Mr. FreezeHarley: Can you make me a pony?
Mr. Freeze: It will make the twilight sparkle.
Harley: [laughter] I was hoping you'd say that.
Harley Quinn: Can you make me a pony?
- The same line vs. Green Lantern:
Green Lantern: How about a straightjacket?
Harley Quinn: I got plenty of those at home!
- Harley Quinn vs. Mr. FreezeHarley: One snow cone, please!
Mr. Freeze: You dare mock my suffering?!
Harley: Just tryin' to break the ice.
- Black Canary vs. Black CanaryBlack Canary 1: Ollie couldn't handle two of us.
Black Canary 2: He'd like to think he could.
Black Canary 1: All men do.
- Green Lantern vs. RobinGreen Lantern: I'd rather deal with your boss, kid.
Robin: I'm nobody's sidekick, Jordan.
Green Lantern: Spoken like a true sidekick.
- Green Lantern vs. Robin (again)Green Lantern: Know your role, Junior.
Robin: Time you showed me some respect!
Green Lantern: Okay then, Mister Junior.
- Black Canary vs. Green ArrowGreen Arrow: What now, pretty bird?
Black Canary: You haven't been a good boy.
Green Arrow: Ooooh... My Safe Word is "Arrowcave".
- Black Canary vs. Green ArrowBlack Canary: (seductively) Now you're gonna get it.
Green Arrow: I think I have a crush on you.
Black Canary: You can't flatter your way outta this.
- Black Canary vs. Green ArrowBlack Canary: You booked Connor's sitter, yeah?
Green Arrow: I thought you were booking the sitter?
Black Canary: Now you're really gonna get hurt...
- Power Girl vs. Captain Cold:
- Power Girl vs. Brainiac:Power Girl: You blew up Krypton!
Brainiac: What is your point of origin?
Power Girl: Krypton!
- Superman vs. Harley Quinn:
- Jay Garrick vs. Reverse-FlashJay Garrick: Do you enjoy hurting people?
Reverse-Flash: I take pride in a job well done.
Jay Garrick: Find a new line of work, friend.
- Mister Freeze vs. Reverse-Flash
- Reverse-Flash vs. Reverse-FlashReverse-Flash: Who're you?
Professor Zoom: I'm Professor Zoom, and I'll-
Reverse-Flash: Sorry, lost me at "Professor Zoom".
- Superman vs. John Stewart
- Deadshot vs. John Stewart
- Superman vs. SupermanSuperman 1: Tell me something only I would know.
Superman 2: Two words: beef bourguignon.
Superman 1: (genuinely flabbergasted) ...That's impossible!
- John Stewart vs. Power GirlJohn Stewart: Are you...uh...y'know...?
Power Girl: Ugh. Single? Yes, and happily so.
John Stewart: I was going to say "Kryptonian".
- Darkseid Vs Green ArrowGreen Arrow: You sure this is your smartest play?
Darkseid: There are no errors in Darkseid's judgement.
Green Arrow: That's okay, stupidity should be painful.
- Harley Quinn vs. Reverse-FlashHarley Quinn: You got a funny name?
Reverse-Flash: I won't dignify that with a response.
Harley Quinn: Clearly, you're emotional about it...
- Reverse-Flash vs. DarkseidReverse-Flash: Your future isn't too bright, Darkseid.
Darkseid: What are you saying, worm?
Reverse-Flash: That an apocalypse awaits Apokolips!
- Cyborg vs. Green ArrowGreen Arrow: Victor, I can't open my pickle jar.
Cyborg: Try more pushups.
Green Arrow: I'll share 'em with you!
- Blue Beetle vs. Green ArrowGreen Arrow: Going down, bug boy!
Blue Beetle: Really? That's all you got?
Green Arrow: It's an off day for me.
- Jay Garrick vs. Jay GarrickJay Garrick 2: It's tough enough being in the future.
Jay Garrick 1: I know. Now there's two of us.
Jay Garrick 2: Just thinking about it makes my head spin!
- Jay Garrick vs. Jay GarrickJay Garrick 1: You can't fool me, Thinker!
Jay Garrick 2: I'm you, not your arch-villain!
Jay Garrick 1: That's exactly what you'd want me to think!
- Black Canary vs. FirestormBlack Canary: It's a look, I'll give you that.
Firestorm: Says the woman who fights in fishnets.
Black Canary: I don't hear my fans complaining./I'd like to see you pull off fishnets.
- Mister Freeze vs. Blue BeetleMister Freeze: Demonstrate the Scarab's recuperative methodology.
Blue Beetle: Might as well be speaking Greek, brah.
Mister Freeze: Show me how it heals your wounds.
- Blue Beetle vs. Mister Freeze
- Mister Freeze vs. Robin
- Captain Cold vs. Mister Freeze:Captain Cold: The Rogues never liked you.
Mr. Freeze: Because I am the true master of cold.
Captain Cold: How about I freeze your head?
- Captain Cold vs. Blue Beetle
- Blue Beetle vs. The FlashBlue Beetle: Slowin' down, old-timer?
The Flash: Careful, I'll photobomb your selfies!
Blue Beetle: ...not cool, man.
- Robin vs. DeadshotRobin: I just had a great idea.
Deadshot: Put your hands up and surrender?
Robin: No, heh. I'm gonna shoot you with your own guns.
- Blue Beetle vs. ScarecrowBlue Beetle: So, you really full of straw?
Scarecrow: No, something much worse.
Blue Beetle: Better not be glitter.
- Harley Quinn vs. Swamp ThingHarley: Why do I always get the big guys?
Swamp Thing: Because you have a big mouth.
Harley Quinn: Leave the humor to me, pal!
- Harley Quinn vs. Swamp ThingSwamp Thing: Of course I'm angry, Harleen.
Harley: I didn't think it would hurt you...
Swamp Thing: You blew my head off!
- Harley Quinn vs. SupermanHarley: You ain't so tough, Superman.
Superman: What gives you that idea?
Harley Quinn: Alfred knocked your freakin' ass out!
- Harley Quinn vs. Black AdamHarley Quinn: Ah, Lightning Lad!
Black Adam: You dare mock me, child?
Harley: "You dare mock me, child?"
- Black Adam vs. JokerBlack Adam: I'll turn your laughter into screams.
Joker: Oh, promise, Adam?
Black Adam: (gritted teeth) I give you my solemn vow.
- Darkseid vs. AtrocitusDarkseid: I am Lord of Apokolips!
Atrocitus: You are nothing to a Red Lantern!
Darkseid: On your knees, fool!
- Darkseid vs. AquamanDarkseid: Submit, Aquaman, or die.
Aquaman: Should I be intimidated?
Darkseid: If you have but one shred of intelligence.
- Darkseid vs. BrainiacDarkseid: How will you survive my Omega Beams?
Brainiac: Your power cannot touch me.
Darkseid: Challenge accepted.
- Darkseid vs DeadshotDeadshot: Any last words?
Darkseid: Shoot yourself and spare me the trouble.
Deadshot: I'm not taking requests.
- The Joker vs. The Flash
- The Joker vs. Captain Cold
- Harley Quinn vs. FirestormHarley Quinn: Hey, you've got a campfire on your head.
Firestorm: We're not here to sing kumbaya.
Harley Quinn: If I want s'mores, I'm getting them!
- Blue Beetle vs. AquamanBlue Beetle: The Scarab says you talk to fish.
Aquaman: That's a gross oversimplification.
Blue Beetle: But it sure fits easy on a bumper sticker.
- Captain Cold vs BatmanCaptain Cold: A new ice age is coming.
Batman: You need a new catchphrase.
Captain Cold: You don't have to be a jerk about it.
- Cheetah vs. CatwomanCheetah: Mine are real, Catwoman.
Catwoman: We better be talking about claws.
Cheetah: And they are spectacular!
- Vixen vs. John StewartVixen: (accusingly) Long time, no talk, John.
John Stewart: (embarrassed) Uhhh, I meant to call you, Mari.
Vixen: I'm not the type who waits by the phone!
- John Stewart vs. VixenJohn Stewart: I'm still the same John you knew.
Vixen: So you're definitely losing this fight!
John Stewart: Oh, you're gonna do me like that now?!
- Vixen vs. GridVixen: I almost feel sorry for you, Grid.
Grid: Why do you feel sorry?
Vixen: You don't know you're about to be recycled!
- Vixen vs. Jay Garrick
- Jay Garrick vs. Vixen
- Jay Garrick vs Gorilla GroddGarrick: You must be Gorilla Grodd.
Grodd: I'll suck the marrow from your bones.
Garrick: Yep... Fits Barry's description to a T.
- Firestorm vs Jay GarrickFirestorm: Welcome to the bonfire.
Garrick: If I'd known, I'd have brought hot dogs.
Firestorm: I'll toast you like a marshmallow.
- Gorilla Grodd vs. Green LanternGorilla Grodd: It was you who imprisoned me!
Green Lantern: Still angry with me?
Gorilla Grodd: Not for much longer.
- Gorilla Grodd vs. Harley Quinn
- Harley Quinn vs BrainiacHarley: You've got a funny name.
Brainiac: Brainiac inspires humor?
Harley: Whoops, thought it was Brain Freeze!
- The Joker vs. Brainiac
- The Joker vs. Brainiac (again)Joker: It's a Brainiac whack-attack!
Brainiac: Your mind is human... yet not.
Joker: It's called insanity, try it sometime!
- Captain Cold vs. DeadshotCaptain Cold: C'mon, Deadass!
Deadshot: Watch how you talk to me!
Captain Cold: Oh, I'm all done talking...
- Deadshot vs. Captain ColdDeadshot: Cold...you're not leaving here alive.
Captain Cold: When did I get on your bad side?
Deadshot: When the check cleared.
- Deadshot vs. Bane
- Deadshot vs. Bane (again)Deadshot: ¡Hola, amigo!
Bane: Do not butcher my language!
Deadshot: Fine, I'll just butcher you.
- Deadshot vs. CyborgDeadshot: Hello, robot.
Cyborg: I'm a cyborg, hence the name.
Deadshot: I'll sell your organs and your spare parts.
- Blue Beetle vs. Green LanternBlue Beetle: Hal Jordan?! No way!
Green Lantern: You a Green Lantern fan?
Blue Beetle: Not after your heel-turn, bro!
- Green Lantern vs. Blue Beetle
- Blue Beetle vs. BrainiacBlue Beetle: Blue Beetle, coming at you!
Brainiac: You are of no interest to me.
Blue Beetle: ...I think I'm interesting. / ...says every girl at school...
- Deadshot vs. Deadshot
- Deadshot vs. Gorilla GroddDeadshot: Who taught you to speak?
Grodd: No one taught me, fool!
Deadshot: Maybe someone could teach you to shut up!
- Deadshot vs. Wonder WomanDeadshot: Are you just gonna deflect the bullets?
Wonder Woman: Finding out might kill you.
Deadshot: (nonchalantly) Eh, I'll try anything once.
- Deadshot vs. Swamp ThingSwamp Thing: I knew I smelt gunpowder.
Deadshot: (genuinely surprised) You got a nose in there?!!
Swamp Thing: I also have fists.
- Deadshot vs. Swamp ThingSwamp Thing: Bullets will not be enough.
Deadshot: I'll switch to explosive rounds.
Swamp Thing: That could be... inconvenient.
- Green Lantern vs Swamp ThingGreen Lantern: I fly, you don't. I win.
Swamp Thing: I can grow wings, Lantern.
Green Lantern: Okay, now it's a contest.
- Cyborg vs. Brainiac
- Harley Quinn vs. BrainiacHarley: Where am I on that scale o' yours?
Brainiac: At best, a 4th level intellect.
Harley: Only three spots to Number One!
- Blue Beetle vs. BrainiacBrainiac: You are nothing without the Scarab.
Blue Beetle: My mom would disagree.
Brainiac: Mothers lack objectivity.note
- Batman vs. BatmanBatman 1: Wearing my cowl? You're asking for it!
Batman 2: From you?
Batman 1: From every goon who wants to kill me!
- Poison Ivy vs. Harley QuinnPoison Ivy: *sigh* What am I gonna do with you?
Harley Quinn: Let me go? Join my team? Marry me?!
Poison Ivy: None of the above, sweetie.
- Poison Ivy vs. BanePoison Ivy: You smell like a gym locker.
Bane: Perhaps I should rub you all over me!
Poison Ivy: You would find it a nauseating way to die.
- Poison Ivy vs. Green LanternPoison Ivy: You're part of the problem.
Green Lantern: Come on, Ivy, I recycle!
Poison Ivy: Not when you burn jet fuel!
- Poison Ivy vs. Captain ColdPoison Ivy: Captain Cold.
Captain Cold: I'm surprised you don't dig me, Ivy.
Poison Ivy: You're right! Kiss me.
- Poison Ivy vs. BrainiacPoison Ivy: My pheromones don't work on you.
Brainiac: Carnal pleasures do not interest me.
Poison Ivy: That's both sad and pathetic.
- Even funnier when you consider that, in her Arcade ending, she does manage to seduce him.
- Captain Cold vs. SupermanCaptain Cold: Finally, a shot at the big guy.
Superman: Be careful what you wish for...
Captain Cold: Just a chance to freeze your ass.
- Gorilla Grodd vs. Blue BeetleGrodd: Batman sends a boy to tame me?
Blue Beetle: Think I can handle a big, dumb monkey.
Grodd: ...There were three errors in that statement!
- Joker vs. Gorilla GroddJoker: Nice monkey.
Gorilla Grodd: I'M AN APE, CLOWN!
Joker: Like it matters.
- Firestorm vs. SupermanFirestorm: These flames aren't just for show!
Superman: I've stood on the sun, Firestorm.
Firestorm: That is seriously freaking cool!
- Catwoman vs. Harley Quinn:Catwoman: Nice outfit.
Harley: Yours is just... alright.
Catwoman: Take that back.
- Power Girl vs. SupergirlPower Girl: How many friggin' Earths are there?!
Supergirl: Should we form a support group or something?
Power Girl: I don't even know where to start.
- Brainiac vs. Darkseid
- The Joker vs. Red Hood
- The Joker vs. Red Hood
- Red Hood vs. The JokerRed Hood: Joker...you son of a bitch.
Joker: Here to haunt your every dream!
Red Hood: I ain't afraid of no ghost!
- Red Hood vs. Blue BeetleRed Hood: You might actually beat me, Jamie.
Blue Beetle: You really think so?
Red Hood: HELL NO! You're dead meat!
- Red Hood vs. Captain ColdRed Hood: Nice gun, Leonard.
Captain Cold: Right back at ya.
Red Hood: We gonna be friends now?
- Black Canary vs. VixenVixen: We've got two things in common, Dinah.
Black Canary: Good looks, quick wit, and a killer right hook.
Vixen: Make that three things.
- Gorilla Grodd vs. FlashGorilla Grodd: Enjoy ruling the world?
Flash: I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
Gorilla Grodd: As yours, I'm disappointed.
- Captain Cold vs. CatwomanCaptain Cold: Heard you like dangerous men.
Catwoman: Capes are cooler than... parkas...
Captain Cold: I'm practical, sweetheart.
- Catwoman vs. Robin
- Red Hood vs. DeadshotRed Hood: Ready to duel with the devil?
Deadshot: Take your shot. Make it count.
Red Hood: One shot? But I brought all these bullets.
- Red Hood vs. Doctor FateRed Hood: Ra's Al Ghul saved my life!
Doctor Fate: Ra's Al Ghul defied fate.
Red Hood: I don't see the downside.
- Infact, considering how everything he says is absurdly profound, all of Doctor Fate's intros could make it to this page.
- Aquaman vs. JokerAquaman: I hoped never again to see your face.
Joker: But my smile brightens any room!
Aquaman: I'll be fine in the dark!
- Green Arrow vs. Poison IvyGreen Arrow: I'm growing tomatoes. Got any tips?
Poison Ivy: Choke on them.
Green Arrow: No salsa for you!
- Aquaman vs. Green ArrowAquaman: So Grodd's gone from your head?
Green Arrow: You'll know if I start monkeying around.
Aquaman: Yes, he's gone.
- Green Arrow vs. Green Arrow?Green Arrow: Arrow Cave is not a stupid name.?Green Arrow: It's called the Quiver now.?Green Arrow: That...actually makes sense.
- Red Hood vs. CheetahRed Hood: The hell do you think you're doing?
Cheetah: I go where the hunt takes me!
Red Hood: You're going into a woodchipper!
- Red Hood vs. FirestormRed Hood: Bruce says you're something special.
Firestorm: I can go nuclear in seconds!
Red Hood: Lots of people can do that.
- Red Hood vs. Harley QuinnRed Hood: Call me the Red Hood.
Harley Quinn: Put 'em up, Robin Hood!
Red Hood: Know what? Just call me Jason.
- Joker vs. Green Arrow (Again)Green Arrow: There's a rule about fighting circus freaks.
Joker: Do tell, Green Arrow...
Green Arrow: Always go for the juggler.
- What sells this one is he then grins like an idiot and laughs at his own pun.
- The altered Latin American Spanish translation of this joke also deserves some mentioning:Green Arrow: ¿Sabes como ganarle a un malabarista? (Do you know how to beat a juggler?)
Joker: Dime Green Arrow. (Do tell, Green Arrow.)
Green Arrow: Apúntale a las pelotas. (Aim for his balls.)
- Red Hood vs. The FlashRed Hood: You still represent the Regime?
The Flash: Relax, I'm on your side.
Red Hood: Never tell the man with a gun to relax!
- Red Hood vs. Jay GarrickRed Hood: I don't think I've ever met a bigger goody-two-shoes.
Jay Garrick: I'm about to land one on your posterior.
Red Hood: Good luck with that, Garrick.
- Red Hood vs. Red HoodRed Hood 1: Ahh, the smell of gunpowder...
Red Hood 2: You can't smell with a hood on.
Red Hood 1: Upgrade your gear, poser!
- Brainiac vs Captain ColdBrainiac: Your weapon is trifling.
Captain Cold: Then I'll just punch you in the face.
Brainiac: Even less effective.
- Aquaman vs. FirestormAquaman: Looks like you could use some water.
Firestorm: I'm just here for the big fish.
Aquaman: Batman must be so proud...
- Black Canary vs. AquamanBlack Canary: You were a jerk to Bruce.
Aquaman: You will address me as royalty!
Black Canary: You were a jerk to Bruce, your highness.
- Cyborg vs. Sub-Zero
- Green Arrow vs. Sub-Zero
- Sub-Zero vs. Green ArrowSub-Zero: I come from a clan of assassins.
Green Arrow: There's a prescription for that, y'know!
Sub-Zero: I would not mock a Lin Kuei...
- Power Girl vs. Sub-ZeroPower Girl: Sell your ice cream somewhere else.
Sub-Zero: This realm must prepare for Kombat.
Power Girl: I said beat it, Frosty!
- Sub-Zero vs. Cheetah
- Sub-Zero vs. Poison IvySub-Zero: I offer one chance to surrender.
Poison Ivy: I'll curl your toes~!
Sub-Zero: Your invitation is not compelling.
- Starfire vs. Darkseid
- Bizarro vs. BizarroBizarro 1: ONLY TWO BIZARRO ALLOWED!
Bizarro 2: ME DISAGREE WITH YOU!
Bizarro 1: YOU WILL STAY!
- Bizarro vs. Red HoodBizarro: YOUR HEAD AM LIKE RED BALLOON.
Red Hood: ...lemme guess, you wanna pop it...
Bizarro: THAT AM TERRIBLE IDEA!
- What makes this quote even funnier is the huge grin Bizarro has when saying it.
- Reverse-Flash vs. BizarroReverse-Flash: You call what you're doing "good"?
Bizarro: ME FIGHT FOR LIES, INJUSTICE, AMERICAN WAY!
Reverse-Flash: Gonna be hard if you don't exist.
- Bizarro vs. Reverse-FlashBizarro: Why be Bizarro's best enemy?
Reverse-Flash: Isn't that a question for Superman?
Bizarro: WHY YOU BE SO POLITE?
- Blue Beetle vs. BizarroBlue Beetle: Don't go picking a fight with the Scarab.
Bizarro: BIZARRO CANNOT WIN!
Blue Beetle: I am hopelessly confused.
- Blue Beetle vs. BizarroBlue Beetle: Wow! Meeting you is just so cool!
Bizarro: YOU NO COMPLIMENT BIZARRO!
Blue Beetle: ...that escalated quickly.
- Bizarro vs. Power GirlBizarro: (confused) Supergirl am have new haircut?
Power Girl: (imitating Bizarro) No. Me am Power Girl.
Bizarro: SUPERGIRL NOT TRICK BIZARRO!
- Flash vs. BizarroFlash: I'm not sure I get your question.
Bizzaro: BIZZARO NO GIVE QUESTION. ASK STATEMENT.
Flash: Walked right into that one, didn't I?
- Bizarro vs. Darkseid
- Bizarro vs. StarfireBizarro: Why hairy lady behind Bizarro?
Starfire: The Titans can help you, Bizarro.
Bizarro: You help Bizarro, BIZARRO HELP YOU!
- Dr. Fate vs. DeadshotDr. Fate: Mercenaries are the hounds of duty.
Deadshot: English, please?
Dr. Fate: You are disposable.
- Flash vs. Power GirlFlash: I'm the fastest man alive!
Power Girl: I've heard better lines at the Ace o' Clubs.
Flash: Couldn't you be intimidated? Just this once?
- Blue Beetle vs. Poison IvyBlue Beetle: Sorry, Ms. Ivy. I have to fight you.
Poison Ivy: Thought we'd get to know each other~.
Blue Beetle: I know, but it's like... Batman's orders.
- Flash vs. CatwomanFlash: Ten bucks says the whip won't touch me.
Catwoman: Make it twenty.
Flash: You're on, Selina!
- Starfire vs. Swamp ThingStarfire: You used to be a friend to the Titans!
Swamp Thing: I have changed my mind.
Starfire: ...yet another symptom of climate change...
- Power Girl vs. StarfirePower Girl: So you're... "Tasamanian".
Starfire: It is pronounced "Tamaranian".
Power Girl: Tama...ugh. Let's get this over with.
- Starfire vs. Harley QuinnStarfire: Help me understand your fighting style.
Harley Quinn: What style?!
Stafire: OH! Now I get it!
- Captain Cold vs. StarfireCaptain Cold: I like what I'm seeing!
Starfire: That's what the boys usually say.
Captain Cold: Don't kill the messenger, lady...
- Starfire vs. Cyborg has some strange Foe Yay:Starfire: Titans Together!
Cyborg: Careful you don't strain yourself.
Starfire: I observe proper stretching technique.
- Starfire vs. Cyborg:Starfire: Good to see you, Victor.
Cyborg: Need some "tech support"?
Starfire: I need some warm up exercise.
- Cyborg vs. StarfireCyborg: Let's spar a little.
Starfire: After I win, wanna get pizza?
Cyborg: Oh, that's how it's gonna be, huh?
- Starfire vs. Jay GarrickStarfire: Stop babysitting me, Jay!
Jay Garrick: (warmly) I can be a bit old fashioned.
Starfire: This princess fights her own battles!
- Jay Garrick vs. StarfireJay Garrick: I don't know what to make of you.
Starfire: (almost laughing) Are you blushing, Jay Garrick?
Jay Garrick: My heart belongs to Joan, miss!
- Harley Quinn vs. Red HoodHarley Quinn: You'll make a great chewie for Bud and Lou!
Red Hood: Where's the Bat-Hound when I need him?
Harley Quinn: Don't worry. their teeth are RAZOR SHARP!
- Red Hood vs. Poison IvyRed Hood: Waiting on your next victim, Ivy?
Poison Ivy: Looking for a hot date~.
Red Hood: You just found him.
- Starfire vs. Reverse-Flash
- Starfire vs. Green ArrowStarfire: Ever had a really bad sunburn?
Green Arrow: Spent a year stranded on a desert island.
Starfire: (cheerily) This'll be a lot like that!
- Starfire vs. BizarroStarfire: Um...does Bizarro want a cookie?
Bizarro: BIZZARO NO SMELL COOKIES ON YOU!
Starfire: Figured you would have super smell...
- Green Lantern vs. Black CanaryHal: Here to yell at me, Dinah?
Black Canary: Damn right, I am.
Hal: Ring, give me earplugs: stat!
- Cheetah vs. Harley Quinn
- Batman vs. Red HoodBatman: You're blind to what you've become.
Red Hood: It's nice to know you care, Bruce.
Batman: Your attitude's still intact.
- Red Hood vs. BatmanRed Hood: Last warning. Back off.
Batman: Plan to disappoint me again?
Red Hood: That's just for starters.
- Harley Quinn vs. ScarecrowHarley Quinn: Outta my way, potato sack!
Scarecrow: I don't fear you.
Harley Quinn: I'll mash your potato-y head!
- Catwoman vs. Brainiac
- Catwoman vs. RobinCatwoman: Annoying little snot.
Robin: You hate me because Batman still loves my mother.
Catwoman: Or because you say things like that.
- Black Canary vs. Brainiac
- Joker vs. Gorilla GroddJoker: Harley, your pet got out.
Grodd: I am no one's pet.
Joker: Back in your cage, monkey!
- Red Hood vs. CheetahRed Hood: Finally, some big game!
Cheetah: The huntress becomes hunted.
Red Hood: So many ways to skin this one.
- Dr. Fate vs. Harley QuinnDr. Fate: Your past is dark.
Harley Quinn: But my future's bright?
Dr. Fate: You have no future.
- Firestorm vs. Green ArrowFirestorm: Is it true you've got an Arrowcave?
Green Arrow: It's called "The Quiver" now.
Firestorm: Better, but still lame.
- Deadshot vs. Harley QuinnDeadshot: Got a fever for some Deadshot?
Harley Quinn: More like Dead-miss.
Deadshot: The only "dead miss" around here is you.
- Black Manta vs. GridGrid: Your form is horribly misshaped.
Black Manta: It's a helmet, you idiot.
Grid: It will not be enough to save you.
- Black Manta vs. CheetahCheetah: Finally, a worthy quarry.
Black Manta: Finally, a new rug.
Cheetah: My claws will cut you down!
- Harley Quinn vs. Joker
- Joker vs. Harley QuinnJoker: What shall we do after this?
Harley Quinn: Dunno. Circus, maybe?
Joker: My dear, we are the circus.
- Flash vs. Green ArrowFlash: You promised you wouldn't tell her, Ollie.
Green Arrow: Sorry, Barry. She beat it out of me.
Flash: Last time I say anything about Dinah's costume.
- Vixen vs. Black LightningVixen: So, are you also a new Justice Leaguer?
Black Lightning: Assuming we both pass the test.
Vixen: I'm not just a costume with a catchy name!
- Deadshot vs. Green ArrowDeadshot: Run. Make it interesting.
Green Arrow: I really don't like being told what to do.
Deadshot: (sighs) Let's get this over with.
- Blue Beetle vs. AtrocitusBlue Beetle: Maybe give that rage a siesta?
Atrocitus: Be silent, boy.
Blue Beetle: I'll take that as a "no."
- Red Hood vs. Green LanternRed Hood: That ring got anything special for me?
Green Lantern: How 'bout a straightjacket?
Red Hood: I'm not crazy, Hal. I'm enlightened.
- Hellboy vs. CyborgCyborg: The Regime won't take "no" for an answer.
Hellboy: How 'bout "screw you"?
Cyborg: That was your last chance.
- Hellboy vs. BatmanHellboy: That costume supposed to scare me?
Batman: What do you think?
Hellboy: That you're kidding yourself.
- Hellboy vs. Bane
- Hellboy vs. BaneHellboy: ...this is Goddamn pointless.
Bane: I am second to no man!
Hellboy: Against me? Isn't worth crap.
- Hellboy vs. AtrocitusHellboy: Finally! A giant monster for me to fight.
Atrocitus: Be silent, boy!
Hellboy: The name's Hellboy... dumbass.
- Hellboy vs. Captain ColdHellboy: You're why I woke up today?
Cold: Yeah. Got a problem with that?
Hellboy: I should have slept in.
- Hellboy vs. BizarroHellboy: I'm okay with not doing this, your call.
Bizarro: BIZARRO CANNOT WIN!
Hellboy: (sigh) What a load of crap...
- Hellboy vs. StarfireHellboy: Are we really doing this?
Starfire: After I win, you wanna get pizza?
Hellboy: Best offer I've heard all day!
- Jay Garrick vs. HellboyJay Garrick: You enjoy hurting people?
Hellboy: Judging the book by its cover, pal.
Jay Garrick: (embarrassed, to self) Way to put your foot in it, Jay.
- Hellboy vs. Jay GarrickHellboy: You ever meet The Lobster?
Jay Garrick: Ah, someone who knows his history!
Hellboy: History? I fought alongside the guy's ghost!
- Hellboy vs. Harley QuinnHellboy: What do you have in mind, lady?
Harley Quinn: How about slaps and tickles at ten paces?
Hellboy: Not the answer I was expecting.
- Harley Quinn vs. HellboyHarley Quinn: You've got a funny name!
Hellboy: Makes sense if you know the story.
Harley Quinn: To thine own self be you, I say.
- Hellboy vs. Red HoodHellboy: Your deal is what, exactly?
Red Hood: I'm the cure for a sick, sad world.
Hellboy: (sighing) If I had a nickel for every time I heard that.
- Red Hood vs. HellboyRed Hood: Ready to duel with the Devil?
Hellboy: Right back at ya, guy.
Red Hood: Let's see if you bleed.
- Hellboy vs. Hellboy
- Hellboy vs. Hellboy
- Hellboy vs. Blue BeetleHellboy: Y'now, fighting kids isn't my thing...
Blue Beetle: Hey, I'm old enough to drive!
Hellboy: Well, in that case, let's do this!
- Hellboy vs. Black Canary
- Black Manta vs. The AtomBlack Manta: Ray Palmer is already dead.
The Atom: You can't prove that. No one has.
Black Manta: Maybe I've got his corpse in my pocket.
- The Atom vs. Sub-ZeroThe Atom: Have I wandered onto a movie set?
Sub-Zero: This fight is all too real, Ryan Choi.
The Atom: Not good when the ninjas know your name...
- The Atom vs. VixenThe Atom: It's like we're Jacqui and Takeda.
Vixen: What are you talking about, Ryan?
The Atom: Play more fighting games, Mari.
- Bizarro vs. The AtomBizarro: You am part man, part ant?
The Atom: Just a Ph.D. candidate with a quantum biobelt.
Bizarro: Bizarro not like big words!
- The Atom vs. Power Girl
- Red Hood vs. The AtomRed Hood: I feel an urge to crush your dreams.
The Atom: Ever thought about seeing a therapist?
Red Hood: This is my therapy.
- The Atom vs. HellboyThe Atom: You ever been swallowed alive?
Hellboy: More times than I can count. You?
The Atom: I have, and it was fascinating!
- Jay Garrick vs. The Atom
- Black Lightning vs. The AtomBlack Lightning: Why are we fighting, Atom?
The Atom: I'm here in the name of science!
Black Lightning: Research? (chuckles) Nice.
- The Atom vs. HellboyThe Atom: I fought mice bigger than you.
Hellboy: That's crap and you know it.
The Atom: They had better table manners than you, too.
- Robin vs. FirestormRobin: Do you know what I had to listen to every day in jail?
Firestorm: The weeping angel on your shoulder?
Robin: No, you arguing with that stupid professor.
- Firestorm vs. RobinFirestorm: Mommy ever tell you not to touch a hot stove?
Robin: She forced me to grip hot coals barehanded.
Firestorm: (winces) Jeez, kid...
- Green Lantern vs. The Atom:
- The Atom vs. The Atom
- The Atom vs. The Atom
- Enchantress vs. Sub-ZeroJune: If you can kill me, please do it!
Sub-Zero: You are choosing to suffer...
Enchantress: Oh, trust me, Sub-Zero: June has no choice.
- Enchantress vs. CyborgJune: Your technology won't stop Enchantress!
Cyborg: It's the man that should worry you.
Enchantress: In my experience, men are easy.
- Enchantress vs. CatwomanJune: What are you trying to prove, Selena?
Catwoman: Everyone deserves a second chance.
Enchantress: Ugh! Since when are you so sentimental?
- Enchantress vs. Green LanternJune: Fighting magic isn't your bag, Hal.
Green Lantern: Green Lantern stands his ground!
Enchantress: Enchantress challenges you, you sniveling worm!
- Enchantress vs. BatmanJune: I tried to be honest with you, Batman!
Batman: You left out some important details.
Enchantress: Ohohoh, she didn't...I did.
- Enchantress vs. Gorilla GroddJune: Like what you see, Grodd?
Grodd: It cannot be!
Enchantress: Go to hell, you dirty ape.
- Blue Beetle vs. EnchantressBlue Beetle: What smells like burning eggs?
Enchantress: Fire, brimstone, and your burning corpse.
Blue Beetle: ...that escalated quickly.
- Firestorm vs. EnchantressFirestorm: These flames aren't just for show.
Enchantress: Want to see a trick?
- Black Canary vs. EnchantressBlack Canary: Another girl's always a good thing.
Enchantress: This "other girl" wants to eat your soul.
Black Canary: You're gonna go home hungry!
- Enchantress vs. HellboyJune: You've never met a hag like this.
Hellboy: Hags, witches, you're all the same to me.
Enchantress: There's no witch like Enchantress.
- Hellboy vs. EnchantressHellboy: You can't tell, but I'm blushing right now.
Enchantress: Don't be so modest, Anung-un-Rama.
Hellboy: (startled) How do you know my Goddamn name?
- Hellboy vs. Enchantress
- Enchantress vs. Red HoodJune: She can smell death on you.
Red Hood: Must be a resurrection thing.
Enchantress: Come on, Jason. Let me under that hood.
- Enchantress vs. SupermanJune: I can't help it. She has to be let out.
Superman: But you'll hurt innocent people!
Enchantress: Since when has that been a problem for you?
- Enchantress vs. EnchantressJune: My Enchantress went toe-to-toe with Superman.
Enchantress 2: But she was no match for Maxwell Lord.
Enchantress 1: Are you another of his mind games?
- Enchantress vs. EnchantressJune: Great. Now there's two of you.
Enchantress 1: Give me the Herne-Ramsgate Cauldron.
Enchantress 2: Please. You know I don't share.
- Enchantress vs. EnchantressJune: Son of a... this can't be happening!
Enchantress 2: Watch your tongue, mortal!
Enchantress 1: Why? Sisters can speak freely.
- Harley Quinn vs. Enchantress:Harley Quinn: You know, married couples start lookin' alike.
Enchantress: June's my possession, not my bride.
Harley Quinn: Learn to take a compliment, sweetie!
- Enchantress vs. Harley Quinn:June: I'd... rather forget the Squad.
Harley Quinn: Awww, but I miss out little chats.
Enchantress: Well, I don't miss a thing, Harley.
- Harley Quinn vs. Enchantress:
- Enchantress vs. The Joker:June: Enchantress, Enchantress, Enchantress!
The Joker: Could you be any more melodramatic?
Enchantress: June can't, but I Goddamn well can!
- Raphael vs. Batman
- Batman vs. LeonardoBatman: I know exactly how to beat you.
Leonardo: You've fought Ninja Turtles Batman?
Batman: I'm full of surprises.
- Adding to the humor, Batman actually had fought the Turtles in a crossover comic the prior year.
- Leonardo vs. LeonardoLeo 1: I'm hallucinating you, right?
Leo 2: Won't know until you fight me, dude.
Leo 1: I gotta lay off Mikey's garlic fudge pizza...
- Raphael vs. The JokerRaph: Lookin' for trouble? 'Cause y'found it!
Joker: I'll put the "fun" in your funeral!
Raph: I'm a New Yorker, I can take it!
- Raphael vs. SupermanRaph: New York pizzas the best! Am I right?
Superman: Two words, beef bourguignon.
Raph: You really have lost your mind.
- Hellboy vs. DonatelloHellboy: Can't say I've met a ninja turtle...
Donny: Hope you're not turtle-phobic, Hellboy!
Hellboy: Nah, my problem's with frogs.
- Michelangelo vs. StarfireMikey: Okay, Starfire, let's do this!
Starfire: After I win, you wanna get pizza?
Mikey: After I win, you're buying pizza!
- Michelangelo vs. BaneMikey: Now you look tough, amigo.
Bane: Don't butcher my language!
- Raphael vs. MichelangeloRaph: You ate the last ice cream bar!
Mikey: It was Donnie. Blame him, not me.
Raph: The wrapper's still stuck to your shell.
- Raphael vs. The AtomRaphael: New York pizza beats Gotham pizza.
Atom: My expert opinion is you're exaggerating.
Raphael: Don't need Donnie to know your facts are bad.
- Raphael vs. Mr. FreezeRaph: New York pizza's the best, am I right?
Mr. Freeze: Quite possibly.
- Reverse-Flash vs. DonatelloReverse-Flash: I'm the fastest man alive!
Donny: Got any facts to back that up?
Reverse-Flash: If anyone's faster, I'll kill 'em!
- Donatello vs. BizarroDonny: You're clinically proven to be pure evil...
Bizarro: ME FIGHT FOR LIES, INJUSTICE, AMERICAN WAY!
Donny: At least you accept the science.
- Raphael vs. Supergirl
- Donnatello vs. FirestormDonny: So, you're two minds in one body?
Firestorm: One of us, a Nobel Prize winner!
Donny: I cannot possibly be more jealous!
- Leonardo vs. Raphael
- Green Lantern vs Harley
- Harley Quinn vs BaneHarley Quinn: Jaime promised me ring girls...
Bane: Surely, he was pulling your leg.
Harley Quinn: Least there's an announcer.
- Catwoman Vs. Harley Quinn
- Harley Quinn Vs. CatwomanHarley Quinn: Bats says you'll be my mentor!
Catwoman: Remind me to ask him for a raise.
Harley Quinn: Wait... you get paid?!
- Flash Vs. Green ArrowFlash: Any side effects from Grodd's mind control?
Green Arrow: My head's filled with blood-soaked bananas.
Flash: Let's try shaking them loose.
- Jay Garrick Vs. Blue BeetleJay Garrick: So you're the new Blue Beetle.
Blue Beetle: My reputation precedes me!
Jay Garrick: Let's see if you live up to Dan Garrett's legacy.note
- Blue Beetle Vs. Poison IvyBlue Beetle: Well, hello beautiful!
Poison Ivy: Flattery might spare your life.
Blue Beetle: I can live with that!
- Brainiac VS. Power Girl
- Atrocitus vs. SupergirlAtrocitus: THIS IS FOR CALLING ME A BABY!
Supergirl: Wow, need a diaper change?
- Atrocitus vs. Aquaman; Arthur really has too much fun lampshading Atrocitus' CatchphraseAtrocitus: My rage is unending!
Aquaman: Enough with the rage! (four of their Clash interactions start with some paraphase of the first line, and Arthur gives the same response each time)
Atrocitus: My rage consumes you!
Aquaman: Yes, yes, rage!
Atrocitus: Your rage runs deep!
Aquaman: You like using that word, don't you?
- Batman vs. Atrocitus (doubles as a Shout-Out to The LEGO Movie, as well as Blackest Night.)Atrocitus: You'd be a perfect Red Lantern!
Batman: I only come in black!
- Batman vs. JokerBatman: You're definitely a headache!/I'm ending this nightmare.
- Black Canary vs. BrainiacBlack Canary: Gonna shove my fist up your-
Brainiac: Humans are obsessed with scatology!
- Black Canary vs. Green ArrowBlack Canary: I can go all night.
Green Arrow: Promise!?
- Black Canary vs. JokerBlack Canary: Gonna shove my fist up your-
Joker: It could use a polish!
- Blue Beetle vs. AtrocitusBlue Beetle: Who names their cat "Dex-Starr"?
Atrocitus: YOU'LL NOT RIDICULE ME AGAIN!
- Blue Beetle vs FlashBeetle: Am I fast, or are you slow?
Flash: It's a little of both.
- Catwoman vs. Gorilla Grodd
- Cyborg vs. SupergirlCyborg: Friend request denied!
Supergirl: Ugh, I'm heartbroken.
- Darkseid vs. Harley QuinnDarkseid: Why should Darkseid fear you?
Harley: YOU SINGED MY PIGTAILS!
- Darkseid vs. JokerDarkseid: Darkseid laughs as you perish.Joker: Thank you.
- Deadshot vs. BatmanDeadshot: My shots are getting closer!
Batman: But you're still missing.
- Doctor Fate vs. Green Arrow
- Doctor Fate vs Captain ColdDoctor Fate: You are but a man with a gun!
Captain Cold: Not what my bank account says!
- Alternatively:Supergirl: Crime doesn't pay!
Captain Cold: Not what my bank account says!
- Firestorm vs. The FlashFirestorm: You familiar with the laws of physics?
The Flash: I've broken them all, so... Yeah!
- Flash vs Blue BeetleFlash: I can see why Bruce likes you.
Beetle: He does? He really does!?
- The Flash vs Poison IvyFlash: See? Fastest man alive!
Poison Ivy: Then hurry up and die.
- Green Arrow vs Captain ColdGreen Arrow: It's a pleasure to kick your ass.
Captain Cold: Feeling's mutual!
- Green Arrow vs. Green ArrowGreen Arrow: Can't tell which of us is evil!
Green Arrow: I know! We've both got beards!
- Green Lantern(Hal Jordan) vs Green Lantern(John Stewart)Hal: I'm the real Green Lantern!
John: Very funny, Hal!
- Harley vs. AquamanHarley: You kiss like a fish, too?!
Aquaman: Enough with the fish metaphors.../Only Mera knows!
- Harley vs Atrocitus
- Harley vs BaneHarley: (imitating Bane) I'll break wind!Bane: Don't you dare!
- Harley Quinn vs Black CanaryHarley: You know, Lucy could take on Connor.Black Canary: The kids are not going to fight, Harley!
- Harley Quinn vs Captain ColdHarley Quinn: Could ya' make me a snow cone?
Captain Cold: Try asking Mr. Freeze.
Harley Quinn: Could ya make me a snow cone?
- Becomes a Brick Joke with Harley Quinn vs Mr. Freeze
Mr. Freeze: Did Snart tell you to ask me that?
- Harley vs. CatwomanHarley: I love you~
Catwoman: Then quit yanking my tail!
- Harley vs. DeadshotHarley: Stop tryin' to kill me, will ya?!
Deadshot: Nah, I'll keep shooting.
- Harley vs. FlashHarley: Hah! Bet you sonic boom when you fart!
- Harley vs. Green LanternHarley: Green means GO!
Green Lantern: My fist means STOP!
- Harley vs. Poison Ivy
- Harley vs. Swamp Thing
- Joker vs AquamanJoker: You'll be delicious, battered and fried.Aquaman: Enough with the fish metaphors!
- Joker vs. Black Adam
- Joker vs. BrainiacJoker: You're taking the fun out of it!
Brainiac: The advantage of a 12th level intellect.
- Joker vs. Cyborg
- Joker vs. Firestorm
- Joker vs. Green ArrowJoker: You've got no sense of humor!Green Arrow: Hello, boxing glove arrow?
- Joker vs. Green LanternJoker: Look! Sinestro's behind you!Green Lantern: Not falling for that one./Never heard that one before.
- Joker vs. Red Hood
- Joker vs ScarecrowJoker: More gas, please!Scarecrow: You've had enough./Stop having fun!
- Poison Ivy vs. Supergirl
- Red Hood vs the Joker:Red Hood: Scum like you deserve to die!
- Reverse-Flash vs Jay GarrickReverse-Flash: I'll destroy your future!
Garrick: That would be incredibly impolite!
- Robin vs. DeadshotRobin: Who'd put a hit on me!?
Deadshot: Anyone who's ever met you.
- Robin vs. Red Hood
- Gives the same response in a Mirror Match, when the other Red Hood snarls, "Scum like you deserve to die!"
- Scarecrow vs. DeadshotScarecrow: Scream in terror!
Deadshot: Actually, that might be cathartic.
- Scarecrow vs. JokerScarecrow: You couldn't beat Batman!
Joker: Best you'll give him is a hangover!
- Scarecrow vs. RobinScarecrow: Daddy fights better than you!
Robin: Shut up, Scarecrow!
- Scarecrow vs SupermanScarecrow: Confess your fears!
Superman: I'm afraid for your safety.
- Supergirl vs. AtrocitusSupergirl: Ready for naptime, baby?
Atrocitus: YOU'LL NOT RIDICULE ME AGAIN!
- Superman vs. BaneSuperman: I'll break you, Bane.
Bane: That is my line.
- Superman vs. BatmanSuperman: I'm sorry, Bruce.
Batman: I'm not "dead" yet!
- Wonder Woman vs. Harley QuinnWonder Woman: Say goodnight, Harley.
Harley Quinn: Goodnight, Harley!
- Sub-Zero vs. The JokerSub-Zero: You fight without honor!
Joker: Because this Joker's wild!
- Robin vs. Harley QuinnDamian: How's this gonna end?
Harley Quinn: I'm a doctor, not a fortune teller!
- Scarecrow vs. Green LanternScarecrow: Crashing... just like your father!
Hal: Forget scared, I'm angry!
- Firestorm vs. RobinFirestorm: What do you think you're doing?
Robin: Thrashing two of you at once.
- Atrocitus vs. BizarroAtrocitus: I can feel your fury...
Bizarro: BIZARRO LOVE YOU!
- Bane vs. BatmanBane: How is your back?
Batman: Never better.
- Swamp Thing vs. Poison IvySwamp Thing: There can only be one guardian.
Poison Ivy: Then hurry up and die.
- Scarecrow vs. Black MantaScarecrow: The Trench are behind you!
Black Manta: Choke on a harpoon!
- The Atom vs. Robin
- Atrocitus vs. HellboyAtrocitus: Let your rage flow!
Hellboy: (almost sighing) I'm so over this crap.
- Aquaman vs. HellboyAquaman: Should I summon the shark?
Hellboy: Shove it up your ass!
- When Green Arrow and Black Canary are planning their fight with Bane:
- Unsurprisingly, Green Arrow is full of these. If he faces off against Catwoman in Gorilla City:Catwoman: You have no idea what you're doing!Green Arrow: Sure, I do! I'm in Gorilla City, fighting against a cat suit lady. This is one for the bucket list.
- If Green Arrow faces against Bane, he fires an arrow that Bane catches and snaps in half. Without blinking, Ollie snarks "That was my favorite arrow"
- Later, if Black Canary faces off against Gorilla Grodd:
- After their first look at Supergirl, Blue Beetle exclaims, in Spanish, that she's out of their league. Firestorm's response?Firestorm: She's not out of our league! What happened to your confidence?!Blue Beetle: Kryptonians. Happened.
- Firestorm's assurance that he finished the fight by burying Wonder Woman under 10 feet of steel, leading to the latter bursting free in three seconds.
- In the cutscene before starting ch 7 when Superman and Batman are the only two in the room after their groups plan on how to evacuate the cities before attacking Brainiac, Superman removes the tarp covering the top of the table showing that they were using the old Justice League table. What's Batman's response to being called out on this?Batman (As casual as he can get): Hm. Forgot that was there.
- Poison Ivy blatantly implying that Cyborg's lost something... important below the waist.
- If you pick Catwoman to fight the brainwashed Harley, Cyborg gets tossed around by Ivy off-screen.Cyborg: (to Selina) Your girlfriend's a real man-eater!
- When Harley falls unconscious after being hit by Ivy's pheromones, Catwoman's concerned while Cyborg just shrugs indifferently.
- When Captain Cold and Reverse-Flash attack Wonder Woman, Reverse-Flash punches her up a bit before striking a cocky pose beside Captain Cold, who then fires a freeze blast. Wonder Woman easily deflects the attack with her bracers, ricocheting and freezing Reverse-Flash, still in the cocky pose.Captain Cold: (smiling) Nice rope-a-dope.
- When Brainiac hands the heroes a stinging defeat and seemingly kills Superman, he beams down a message noting their infighting. Hal quips "Did you call in just to gloat?"
- Just a few seconds after Batman and Superman reminiscence over happier days, Superman kills the moment by sucker-punching Batman.
- While Superman is trying to control Brainiac's ship, the Coluan notices this upon regaining consciousness and proceeds to wail on Batman. His Villainous Breakdown sounds more like a collector getting upset at someone for messing with, well, their collection than anything else.Brainiac: My ship! You will not destroy my collection!
- Cyborg is tasked by Batman to take Catwoman and Harley Quinn to Arkham Asylum to reach a secret passage to the Batcave known as the Underground, much to his astonishment.Cyborg: (to Selina) I'm taking you two to Arkham Asylum?Harley Quinn: (blows bubblegum) ...Promise it won't be awkward or nothin'. (flashes an inappropriate grin)
- Supergirl is also seen awkwardly smiling at Harley Quinn's response in the background.
- You can see her suppress a grin when Harley tells Cyborg, "You try ta teleport in, instead of boom, you go splat!"
- Supergirl is also seen awkwardly smiling at Harley Quinn's response in the background.
- The voice Jeffrey Combs uses for Brainiac makes it sound like either Weyoum Took a Level in Badass or Ratchet underwent a FaceHeel Turn.
- The Metropolis transition from the Ace o' Clubs bar to Memorial Station. After being punched through a wall, the opponent rolls into the path of a speeding van. The funny part is that, regardless of who is being is hit - a well-trained human, a nigh-invulnerable Kryptonian, a psychic gorilla, or anything else - they get launched into the air at a 50-degree angle, hard and fast enough to smash through part of a building before leaving a big dent in the Station proper. And the van keeps going, too!
- The Ace o' Clubs is pretty funny in and of itself, when you think of it. There could be metahumans, supercriminals, aliens, intelligent apes and physical gods duking it out on the bar floor, and the bartender is still serving two loyal customers who just don't seem to care all that much, even when it's happening during the midst of an Alien Invasion. Given that they live in Metropolis, one can sympathize.
- The drunkard in the middle of the bar can be picked up and thrown at your opponent as a stage interaction.
- Aquaman's Super Move being used in the Ace o' Clubs, with the bartender and the patrons completely nonchalant that the whole place has suddenly filled with seawater and there are marine creatures swimming around.
- One of the stage transitions has a bit of a blink-and-you-miss it moment when the opponent flies through a cinema screen displaying dancing anthropomorphic snacks.
- Superman's super is funny for the last bit: the Face Palm Of Doom. For a brief moment (or if you pause at the right time), there's a deliciously awkward scene of the opponent flailed out into a stop with a nonchalant Superman's hand in their face. It's a pose that strips away any sense of menace or intimidation from the opponent, if only for a second.
- Supergirl's outro is absolutely hilarious for just one reason: When she leaves the stage by flying upward, she gives the smuggest smile she can muster.
- Supergirl's "sweep" is blowing hard on a combatant's feet, tripping them up. This is especially hilarious if it's the knockout blow, making it seem like a casual Finger Poke of Doom.
- The Flash's super is the craziest one so far. After hitting the opponent with a dash that has them spinning, he grabs and takes the opponent back through time to smash the Sphinx's nose with them (when it was getting built) and then back again to smack a T-Rex in the face with them, and then back to the present to smack the opponent with him/herself (from earlier when the super started) while still spinning. The Flash's past self then grabs the opponent's past self and zips away with them to presumably do all this "again".
- In the player select screen, when the chosen fighters exchange blows, it then slows down for the player to choose a stage. But with Flash (and as a result, Reverse-Flash), he goes into Bullet Time mode and laughs at his opponent at (from his and the player's perspective) normal speed.
- Brainiac's ship has the power to shoot you when you're inside Brainiac's ship.
- Upon realizing that all of Scarecrow's battles are actually Fear Gas hallucinations, one realizes that while we're seeing a Humanoid Abomination and his opponent trading blows, in reality, what's actually happening is a weedy doctor in a burlap mask is hitting his opponent over the head with a small sickle and the gas canister.
- This GameStop trailer for Darkseid. Deadshot, Poison Ivy, and Bane all go to battle Darkseid...only for it to sink in just who they're challenging. They all find an excuse to get the hell out of there.Deadshot: I'm gonna need a bigger gun.
Poison Ivy: Uh, I gotta water my begonias.
Bane: I forgot, it's leg day.
- Supergirl's Supermove is completely awesome... but against the likes of the Joker or Harley Quinn? It becomes hilarious.
- There's something funny about the fact that Poison Ivy's supermove, which involves attacking her opponent with a giant man-eating plant, is named "FEED ME".
- Captain Cold's ladder mode ending.Going after the Regime was one thing, but destroy the planet for Brainiac? You really thought I'd go through with it, Grodd? Really?! F*** YOU!
- Even the subtitles have fun with it. "[BLEEP] you!"
- Darkseid's Badass Back part of his Super Move — i.e., a God of Evil essentially making a basketball shot without looking.
- You remember how in Gods Among Us, Solomon Grundy had a combo called Wants Pants Too? Brainiac has some Decent Pants for gear.
- On the subject of Gear, Harley will pantomime firing her guns whenever you give her a new pair at the customization menu.
- One of Red Hood's attacks is so awesome that it's hilarious. It involves getting ready to shoot the opponent, only to realize he's out of ammo. So Red Hood chucks his gun at their head, the force of which ejects the empty magazine, catches the gun, reloads it, then shoots them. All in the span of about 4 or 5 seconds.
- Most of Scarecrow's lines are Hilariousin Hindsight when you consider who voices him.
Scarecrow bargained with Trigon for the power to kill his victims in their nightmares. Knock out Scarecrow to break Trigons spell.
- Even more Actor Allusion comes in the form of a Multiverse planet with him as the boss:
- After depleting Supergirl's first healthbar, The Flash sometimes quips "Who's up for a crossover?"
- One of Red Hood's quotes after taking out his opponent's first health bar is him making a reference to A Death in the Family in the most vindictive way possible:Red Hood: Should I kill you? Let's take a vote!
- On the topic of funny 2nd round quotes, Superman unintentionally gets one. If you fight Batman and get him down to his last bar, Superman gets into his iconic pose. His quote? "I'm not going back to prison".
- While most characters have two 2nd round animations, Raiden has a third one he uses less frequently, and is a Call-Back to Mortal Kombat IIKIDD THUNDER!!!
- Everything said by Bizzaro is completely confusing and hilarious at the same time.
- One of Joker's gear abilities allows him to open up his normally pretty brutal Super with the same animation he used when he started his Injustice 1 Super. This means replacing the exploding canister of Joker gas with a Pie in the Face. It even stays on the opponent's face at the start of the super!
- The ever-growing "WTF Clash Quotes" series of short videos, where a Youtuber by the name of SMGxPrincess edits various clash quotes together, resulting in some rather... interesting, but nonetheless hilarious exchanges.Green Arrow: You really need to get laid.
Sub-Zero: Of that, I am painfully aware.
- One of Joker's random mid-fight quotes against Gorilla Grodd has him say "Eat that, Banana Boy!"
- Also, one of his mid-fight quotes against Bane has him ask "¿Donde está la biblioteca?"note completely out of the blue.
- The description for "The Scream Queen" multiverse is deeply amusing, not just for the Shout-Out, but for its mission statement essentially being "Captain Cold is confused, kick his ass for it!""Captain Cold of Earth 1013 is under the illusion that you and he served together on some "legendary time-traveling task force." He has the wrong Canary. Knock some sense into him."
- In Gorilla City, apparently it's possible for both of you to get hit into the elephant simultaneously
- The Fighter Pack 3 trailer is a gutbuster in and of itself, purely because of the sheer boldness of having Atom and Enchantress's face-off be interrupted not by Spawn, not by Rorschach, but the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
- Also, please take a moment to consider that as of this game, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles have technically crossed over with Mortal Kombat. Which gets even funnier when you remember that they actually started out as dark, violent characters.
- Their intro is just as funny. After the brothers drop in, Michelangelo claims dibs on "the magic lady". When Leonardo tells him that they fight as a team, Raphael shakes his head and rolls his eyes while Donatello gives him this "Really, Mikey?" look.
- Due to his main powers, much of Atom's gameplay is as hysterical as it is inventive:
- For his crouching animation, all he does is maintain his normal standing position as his model shrinks a few inches. This continues even when "crouch"-blocking.
- His character trait lets him shrink to the size of a glowing dot, able to completely avoid most damage. His introduction trailer gets in on this, with Joker whiffing his attacks as Atom continues to beat him up, even raising his arms as if to say "Are you serious!?"
- His throw has him shrink, jump inside his enemy's head through their ear, and seemingly force them to punch themselves in the face, knocking them out before he jumps back out.
- The titles of moves in most other characters' move lists are generally simple, but descriptive or cool-sounding, but most of Atom's moves are goofy science puns, with gems like "Take a Cell-Fie", "Ion You", "Micro Aggression", "Up and Atom", and "Mass-Sive Slam".
- If Atom knocks off his opponent's first health bar while shrunk using his character power, he will taunt the opponent by bouncing up and down with a comically high-pitched laugh.
- One of The Atom's mid-fight comments may be, "That's for stepping on me earlier!"
- A confused Bizarro may ask if The Atom is "part-man, part-ant." Ryan is amused.
- The victory animation for the Turtles has them brandishing an entire box of pizza out of nowhere and taking an indulgent whiff before grabbing a slice and throwing it at the camera, where it splatters against the screen. It slides off to reveal them in the midst of a bite, raising the crust skyward with the most satisfied grin on their face. There's a definite Narm Charm if they start making yummy "Mmmm mmm mmm" noises.
- And their defeat animation has the Turtle popping their legs, arms and head into their shell.
- What's even funnier is that during the livestream with the developers of the game, they admitted to actually using Mocap on a real pizza and throwing it at the camera before a developer ate it.
- Another defeat animation involves the Turtle suffering a Konami arcade-style knockout, complete with on-and-off flashing, dizzy stars over their head, and appropriate sound effects.
- One of the knockdown victory animations may have one of the other three Turtles joined by Mikey where they briefly dance together to the Techno Turtle beat.
- Batman may make his Attack Its Weak Point comment mid-match when fighting a turtle, making it sound like he's figuring out a way to get around their shells.
- The TMNT's Ladder Mode ending details how they got to the Injustice universe, but aside from the fact they're all constantly interrupting each other, it reveals Harley laced some pizza they ate with nanites that boosted their strength and durability to Kryptonian levels and allowed them to kick the asses of Krang and Shredder when they got back! Even better is the other three all groaning in reaction to Mikeys bad joke.
- Enchantress can be Black Comedy gold, partly due to her psychotic overprotectiveness of June, and partly due to giving exactly zero fucks about anyone she fights.June: We're both going to regret this.
Darkseid: I am your new god, woman.
Enchantress: No one talks to June that way but me!
June: I know a thing or two about magic.
Black Adam: A mere mortal challenges me?
Enchantress: Enchantress challenges you, you sniveling worm!
- Sometimes, the intro quotes combined with random in-fight dialogue can lead to hilarity. Such as:Supergirl: They say you helped the Joker.
Harley: I ain't the same person I was then!
Supergirl: I wasn't born yesterday.
Supergirl: (opens with combo, knocks Harley on her ass) Now, apologize!note