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  • The Scrat vs. Scratte rivalry
    • When Scrat first encounters Scratte for the first time Lou Rawls' You'll Never Find starts playing as Scrat gazes smitten with her...followed by a Record Needle Scratch as soon as he sees her holding his acorn.
    • The look on Scrat’s face when Scratte reveals (while they’re both falling from a tremendous height) that she’s a flying squirrel, as he continues to fall, nonverbally screams cheating wretch!
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  • When Sid shows Manny & Ellie the eggs
    Sid: I'd like to present Egbert, Shelley and Yoko.
    Manny: Sid, whatever you're doin', it's a bad idea.
    Sid: Shh. My kids'll hear you.
    Manny: They're not your kids, Sid. Take 'em back. You're not meant to be a parent.
    Sid: Why not?
    Manny: First sign: stealing someone else's eggs. Second sign: one of them almost became an omelet.
    Ellie: Sid, somebody's probably worried sick looking for them.
    Sid: No! They were underground in ice! If it wasn't for me, they'd be...eggcicles
    Manny: Sid, I know what you're going through. You're gonna have a family too someday. You're gonna meet a nice girl with...uh...low standards, no real options, or sense of smell...
    (Sid scowls, offended by Manny's words)
    Ellie: What Manny means to say is—
    Sid: No, no, I get it! I'll take them back. You have your family, and I'm better off alone...by myself. (puts the eggs in a sled, starts to slide away) A fortress of solitude in the ice! Forever! A lone, lonely loner! (begins to leave)
    Manny: That's a lot of aloneness.
    Sid: PRECISELY!
  • This gem:
    Sid: I see somebody else who has a bun in the oven!
    Pudgy Beaver: Oh! I'M NOT PREGNANT! [whacks Sid on the head with a stick]
    Sid: Ouch! That's too bad. You'd make a wonderful mother!
    [gets hit again]
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    • What's better is that Sid is in 100% Sincerity Mode towards the rude fat beaver.
  • Sid trying to milk a sleeping ox for the dino babies.
    Sid: ♪Hush, you mean vicious animal. I'm your baby, and this is my... milk♪ (pulls something that makes the ox wake up with a disgruntled face; cut to Sid being chased by the angry ox) AAAAH!! I THOUGHT YOU WERE A FEMALE!!!
  • When Sid demands the baby dino to spit out the kid he just swallowed
    Sid: Spit him out.
    Baby Dino: Uh-uh.
    Sid: If you don't spit out Little Johnny, we're leaving the playground this instant! One... two... Don't make me say "three"! (Baby Dino spits out a Gastornis chick) There we are. A picture of health.
    Aardvark Mom: That's not Little Johnny!
    Sid: Well, better than nothing.
    Gastornis Mom: (scooping up the chick) Madison!
    • Then when Manny arrives, the baby dino promptly spits out Johnny, looking very dazed.
  • When Crash and Eddie encounter the trashed playground.
    Crash: This place is totaled!
    Eddie: And we didn't wreck it!
    Crash: Gee, we're losing our touch, bro.
  • "Nobody move a muscle." (one mole-hog runs away screaming)
  • The Herd tracks down Momma Dino to the entrance to the underground world.
    Manny: Sid must be down there.
    Crash: Well, he's dead.
    Eddie: Real shame.
    Crash: He will be missed.
    (the two opossums start to walk off, but Ellie stops them with her trunk)
    Ellie: Oh, no no no no. Not so fast.
    Manny: Hey, Ellie. This is where I draw the line. You, Crash, and Eddie back to the village.
    Ellie: Yeah. That's gonna happen.
    Manny: Ellie! You saw that thing! This is gonna be dangerous!
    Ellie: Talk to the trunk.
    Manny: Oh, great. After we save Sid, I'm gonna kill him.
    Crash: Ladies first.
    Eddie: Age before beauty.
    Crash: No pain, no gain.
    Eddie: What pain?
    Crash: This! (pushes Eddie into the hole, only to be dragged along by Eddie's tail)
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  • When going to rescue Sid, Manny and Ellie try to think of codenames for the baby coming, and Manny suggests "Peaches", and his response to comparing peaches and Ellie is hilarious.
    Manny: Oh, we need a code word. Yeah, something that says, "the baby's coming."
    Ellie: [thinks a moment] How about, "AAAH! The baby's coming!" How's that?
    Manny: Nah, too long. We need something short and punchy, like, uh... "peaches"!
    Ellie: Peaches?
    Manny: I love peaches. They're sweet and round and fuzzy, just like you.
    Ellie: You think I'm round?
    Manny: Uh... Round is good. Round is foxy!
  • This exchange between Manny and Diego whilst they are trapped inside a carnivorous plant.
    Diego: I feel…tingly.
    Manny: (rolls eyes) Don't say that when you're pressed up against me!
    Diego: Not THAT kind of tingly!
    • "For the record, I blame you for this!"
  • Pretty much anything said or done by Buck.
    • To start off, when Buck makes his debut, swinging on a vine like an action hero until it snaps and sends him flying, everyone gives him a WTF? reaction. Even the dinosaurs.
    • Especially him using a rock like a cell phone.
      Buck: Hello? No...no, I can't talk right now. Yeah, I'm trying to recover a dead sloth. Heh heh. (sticks his tooth-knife into a tree and gives the "one minute" sign) No, they're following me! I know! They think I'm crazy. Okay...we're going into the Chasm of Death. I'm gonna lose ya...Yeah, I love you too. Alright, goodbye. Goodbye. (throws the rock away and grabs his knife) Okay, follow me!
      Manny: (to Diego) That's you in three weeks.
    • And especially his argument with three skulls.
      "Skull 1": They'll never survive. It's dangerous by day.
      "Skull 2":: But it's even worse at night.
      "Skull 1": And plus, their guide is a lunatic!
      Buck: What?!
      "Skull 2": You mean Buck? Oh, he's whacko!
      Buck: I am not!
      "Skull 1": Totally bonkers!
      "Skull 3": And his feet smell.
      Buck: SHUT UP!
      "Skull 3": You shut up!
      Buck: Why, you little—! (starts "strangling" the skull, dropping the other two skulls)
      Manny: He's strangling his own foot. Shouldn't we get moving?
      "Skull 3: What? And give Rudy a midnight snack? Not likely!
      Buck: The skull's right. Take the load off, mammals. We'll camp here. Now, who's hungry?
      "Skull 3": I am!
      Buck: You don't need the calories!
    • Buck overhears Manny's concerns about not being a good friend to Sid and chimes in with this glorious comment.
    Buck: Better friend, are you pluckin' my whiskers? You risked your life, your mate and your baby to save your buddy! Not the best husband or father... but a darn good friend!
    • His theories about what happened between Sid and Momma Dino.
      "Dinosaur attacks Sid. Sid fights back with piece of broccoli, leaving dinosaur a vegetable."
      "Sid was eating broccoli. Dinosaur eats Sid. Dinosaur steps on broccoli, leaving broccoli a vegetable."
    • In response to above theories, Manny has something important to ask:
      Manny: Buck, when exactly did you lose your mind?
      Buck: Three months ago. I woke up one morning married to a pineapple. (extreme close-up on Buck's face) An ugly pineapple. (sighs lovingly) But I loved her.
  • The Chasm of Death scene with these lines from Manny, Crash, Eddie, and Diego when they get affected by the fumes, which seem to be a mix of helium/laughing gas.
    Manny: (helium voice) You know what's funny, though? We're trying to save Sid, and now we're all gonna die! (He, Diego, Crash, and Eddie laugh.)
    Eddie: (helium voice) And I don't even like Sid!
    Crash: (helium voice) Who does? He's an idiot!
    (they all laugh again)
    Diego: (helium voice) Thanks for getting me into this mess. It's the most fun I've had in years!
    Manny: Thank you for deserting the herd! That was totally super!
    (Diego looks at Manny in confusion, before they all begin laughing again)
    • And then Buck gets caught in the fumes as well...
      Buck: Don't you see?! (helium voice) WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!
      (everyone looks at Buck; then they all laugh, including Buck)
  • Sid intends on raising the baby T. rex as vegetarians, and he objects to Momma trying to feed them a seemingly-dead Archaeopteryx, especially when it turns out to be still alive and jumps onto his arms in panic.
    Sid: No, no, no! We do not eat live animals, period! (Sid walks to the edge of a cliff. The Archaeopteryx realizes what he's gonna do and starts frantically trying to free itself from his grasp) Now, go! Fly! Be free! (tosses the Archaeopteryx off, only for the proto-bird to plummet down) ...little flightless bird. (a pterosaur snatches the falling Archaeopteryx, eating it in one bite) My bad.
    • The smug look Momma Dino gives Sid when she's proven right that her/their babies need meat, it oozes "I told you so"...
  • Scrat, Scratte, and the Nutty Tango.
  • When Ellie goes into labor:
    Crash: Can you try to hold it in?!
    Ellie: (offscreen, irritated) Can someone slap him for me?!?
    (Eddie does exactly that)
    Eddie: (dusting his hands) Done and done.
    (Crash scowls at his brother and tackles him)
  • That pterodactyl. "I don't wanna panic anybody, but WHO'S FLYING THIS THING?!"
    • Particularly the Mid Air Repair.
      Buck: ''(while giving the pterodactyl mouth to mouth) Tastes like fish.
  • At the climax during the final battle with Rudy, Diego passes by the same Ankylosaurus that attacked him and the others earlier, whimpering in utter fear behind a bush.
    Diego: Wuss!
  • Diego fighting Guanlongs while Ellie is in labor.
    Diego: Whoo! My paws are burning, baby! They're burnin'! I got tip toe. Tippy toe! Tippy toe!
    Ellie: Excuse me, twinkle-toes! Givin' birth here!
    Diego: Sorry. You okay?
    Ellie: Am I okay?! Do you know anything about childbirth?!
    Diego: Uh... no, not really. But Manny's coming.
    Ellie: Diego, I'm scared. Can I please hold your paw?
    Diego: Yeah, of course...
    (Ellie grabs Diego's paw with her trunk and starts squeezing it real hard)
    Diego: (pained) Just...go...with...the pain!
    Ellie: (suddenly lets go of Diego's paw) AAAAH!
    Diego: It's just a contraction.
    Ellie: No. AAAAH! (points to a Guanlong stalking behind Diego)
    • One scene switch later...
      Ellie: You can do it! Push! Push!
      Diego: [in a pose that looks like a woman's giving birth] I can't do it!
      Ellie: Just one more big push!
      Diego: You have no idea what I'm going through! (cut to a shot where it's revealed Diego is pushing the Guanlongs with a log) Okay, forget I said that.
  • After Peaches is born:
    Sid: It's a boy!
    Diego: That's its tail.
    Sid: It's a girl!

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