The movie stars Robin Williams, Dustin Hoffman, and Bob Hoskins — it's a given that each scene gets funnier the more of them are present for it.
- Jack's drawing of a plane crash with him and his family wearing parachutes — except Peter, who's just falling to the shark-infested ocean.
- The picture freaks Peter out, which didn't help him one bit when the plane is experiencing turbulence.Moira: You're not gonna die without a phone and fax machine.
Peter: I'm halfway there! I've got the phone in the briefcase!
Moira: Talk to him! - Maggie showed Peter the picture, pleased with Jack's drawing, not realizing the context.
- The picture freaks Peter out, which didn't help him one bit when the plane is experiencing turbulence.
- Tootles slamming the door in front of the Banning family because he's so excited to find that "It's snowing!" when he opens it.
- Jack laughs, then starts choking on his gum. Peter pats him on the back.
- This all happens immediately after Peter calls England "the land of good manners."
- Then Liza enthusiastically greets the family - and by enthusiastically we mean she grabs Jack by his scarf and yanks him into a hug that doubles as a chokehold. While talking to Peter, you can see Jack trying to get her to loosen her grip.
- Peter's Paper-Thin Disguise of a pirate costume, complete with an eyepatch over his glasses.
- "Don't try to stop me this time, Smee. Don't try to stop me this time, Smee, don't you dare try to stop me this time, Smee try to stop me. Smee, you'd better get up off your arse. Get over here, Smee! Stop me! THIS IS NOT A JOKE! I'M COMMITTING SUICIDE!"
- This wasn't the first time Hook attempted to commit suicide.Smee: Oh, not again.
- The novelization of the film not only makes it clear that this has happened before, but it's a game to them; Hook is so bored without Peter that he fakes suicide attempts for some excitement.Hook: Even this isn't as much fun as it used to be.
- This wasn't the first time Hook attempted to commit suicide.
- During the baseball game, one of the pirates attempts steal to second base.Pirate: He's stealing second!(gunshot)
- The musket ball seems to travel straight through Smee to hit the player stealing second. Smee spends a few seconds trying to figure out how that happened.
- The implication is that the catcher fires at Smee, but, because Neverland works on Magic and Smee isn't his target, it passes straight through him and hits his intended target.
- After all of which, Hook only calls them out on the above because "they're playing by Master Jack's rules." Apparently getting shot for rules infractions is standard procedure in Neverland Pirate Baseball.Hook: Very violent sport, isn't it, baseball?
- Say it with us now. Three, two, one... "MY — JACK!!!"
- "My Jack?"
- "RUN HOME JACK! RUN HOME JACK!"
- The musket ball seems to travel straight through Smee to hit the player stealing second. Smee spends a few seconds trying to figure out how that happened.
- When Tinkerbell finds Peter after so many years and began flitting about around his head. Peter tried to swat at her with a rolled up newspaper, then to his shock, Tinkerbell actually snatches the newspaper and began smacking him with it.Peter: (beat) Firefly from hell!
- What makes the above quote even funnier in a meta sense is that a number of different sources state that Julia Roberts was....less than pleasant to work with during production of the film. Their nickname for her? Tinkerhell
- As the final battle begins to turn for the Lost Boys, Hook yells "Smee, do something intelligent!" Cue Smee fleeing into Hook's bedroom and starting to loot the place.
- When he first enters the cabin, he spends several seconds running in circles around a table, panicking.Smee: Smee. Smee. What About Smee? Smee! Smee! Smee. Smee. What about Smee? (stops in place, looking confused) Smee's me. What about ME?!
- Hook's look when the Lost Boys turn out with a makeshift egg shooter is somewhere between "Oh, god, now I remember why I hate them..." and "What the hell is this?!"
- When he first enters the cabin, he spends several seconds running in circles around a table, panicking.
- "I've been shot!"
- Rufio and Peter, Volleying Insults.Peter: Nearsighted gynecologist.
- Especially funny at the end, where Rufio runs out of insults and devolves to screaming, "MAN! ST-STUPID, STUPID MAN!"
- The first insult that leaves Rufio staggered? "Substitute chemistry teacher."
- And then it all degenerates into an equally-hilarious food fight.
- Peter's attempt at diplomacy with Rufio doesn't go very well.Peter: I want to speak to a grownup!
Rufio: All grownups are pirates!
Peter: Excuse me?
Rufio: We kill pirates.
Peter: I'm not a pirate. It so happens I am a lawyer.
(Beat, Rufio raises his sword)
Rufio: Kill the lawyer! (Lost Boys echo the cry)
Peter: I'm not that kind of lawyer... (runs)- Except as Wendy made quite clear earlier, he actually is that kind of lawyer.
- "I WANT MY WAR!"
- Followed by this absolutely hilarious zinger.Hook: Gentlemen, I'm afraid I've decided... To cancel the war.
- Cue the pirates all letting out a groan of disappointment.
- Followed by this absolutely hilarious zinger.
- Peter blowing his cover when he first sees his children; none of the pirates even react, clearly expecting a different kind of entrance from their mortal nemesis only to be met by this buffoonish old man completely out of nowhere.
- What really sells it though is Hook's completely blank, baffled stare as he watches this unfold. It's pure "WTF?" at its finest.
- Peter's inability to grasp the fantastical nature of Neverland, seeming to think it's some kind of elaborate theme park and utterly failing to grasp the weight of his situation even after his unlikely encounter with Tinkerbell or even as Hook is repeatedly threatening him and his children. It's not until he meets the Lost Boys that he finally seems to get a grip on things.
- A good example of this is when a bunch of pirates attempt to steal his shoes, and it's not until they draw their cutlasses that he realizes it's a good time to panic.Peter: Well I think you can get them at Armani.
- A good example of this is when a bunch of pirates attempt to steal his shoes, and it's not until they draw their cutlasses that he realizes it's a good time to panic.
- Just after Peter is first revealed to Hook, the Captain tells him to draw his weapon for a duel. At this, Peter draws a chequebook to bribe him, only for Hook to promptly shoot the chequebook, hitting a pirate behind Peter.
- Made funnier by the fact that Peter and the other pirates turn to watch the shot pirate slowly fall backwards.
- Peter is trying to climb up to save his kids. Time for a Call-Back...Peter: Somebody give me a hand.Hook: I already have.Pirates: Oooooohh!
- Maggie yelling at Hook towards the end.Maggie: You need a mother very, very badly!
- Peter's rant trying to justify Tinkerbell flying in and talking to him, likely all a Throw It In! by Robin Williams on the spot.
- This dialogue:Tootles: *scrounging around on the floor* Lost, lost, lost...Peter: Lost what?Tootles: *looks up, dejectedly* I've lost my marbles.
- Peter sighs. Before they went inside, he told his kids to respect the elders, and Tootles isn't helping his case.
- And it becomes a Brick Joke when it turns out he was a lost boy, and really did leave his marbles behind in Neverland.
- Smee tries on one of them fancy words he's heard the Captain use.Smee: I've just 'ad an apostrophe.Hook: I think you mean "epiphany."Smee: Lightning 'as just struck my brain.Hook: That must have hurt.
- This exchange:Pirate: (as he and Peter cross swords) Wait... ain't you - ?Peter: Peter Pan.
- And this (as Peter is trying his best to pass as a pirate):Peter: AARGH!Pirate: AARGH you!Peter: NOT BAD! YOU?Pirate: NOT BAD!Peter: ALL RIGHT!
- And this (as Peter is trying his best to pass as a pirate):
- Tinkerbell breaking character as she pretends to be dying to get Peter onboard. "Louder, Peter!"
- "Not being on this slingshot! That would make me very HAAAAPPPPYYYYYYYYY!!!!""He's going up! He's going up!""HE'S COMING DOWN!"(Peter crashes into the deep mud hole)
- Let's not forget about the dinner prayer...Rufio: Everybody say Grace.Peter: Bless us, O lord -Lost Boys: GRACE! (everyone but Peter then pigs outnote )
- Followed by:Tinkerbell: Eat!Peter: Eat what?! There's no food! Gandhi ate more than this!
- Followed by:
- Hook's "classroom" scene, when Maggie tells Hook that her parents love her very much.Hook: Love? Smee, isn't that the, uh—Smee: The 'L word'?*both shudder in horror*
- Also, Maggie's offense at being flunked.
- Glenn Close's memorable Large Ham cameo as a pirate who gets a morbid consequence for questioning Hook behind his back.Hook: You. You bet against me bringing Pan back here, didn't you?
Gutless: [straight-faced] No.
Hook: Ah, tell your captain the truth.
Gutless: [suddenly sobbing]
Hook: [sad face] Oh, say it. Say it.
Gutless: I did.
Hook: [sad face] Yes, you made a boo-boo.
Gutless: I deed...
Hook: [normal face] The boo box.
Gutless: NOT THAT! NOT THE BOO BOX! NOOOOO!!! - "What is this, some Lord of the Flies preschool?!"
- Peter de-pants Rufio in front of the Lost Boys while flying.
- Thudbutt sitting on the bench, causing all the Lost Boys to slide towards him.Don't crowd me!
- This one moment that was clearly ad-libbed by Robin Williams:Peter: Thank you... Nigel? Norman?Driver: Neville, sir.Peter: "Neville". What is that, English? (Cracks up)
- When Peter removes Hook's hat, his wig goes flying off. While Hook being revealed as a balding, white-haired old man would normally be a shocker, what makes it funny is the hat and wig landing on Too Small's head.
- Rufio draws a line on the ground with his sword and tells the Lost Boys to cross to his side if they don't believe Peter is actually the Pan. The first person to cross? Peter himself. Tinkerbell grabs him by the suspenders and drags him back to the other side of the line.Tinkerbell: You are embarrassing me! (snaps the suspenders)
- Robin Williams Large Ham way of saying he doesn't believe in fairies. And than his response afterwards."Good god, I think I killed it."
- There's admittedly something kinda funny about Peter's Big "SHUT UP!" moment, as Robin Williams can make pretty much anything funny.
- At one point during the Never-Feast, Peter starts mimicking the "eating" methods of the Lost Boys. One such example includes one boy eating something in a fashion similar to Bugs Bunny in Super-Rabbit. Peter repeats the "nibbling" method, but without "holding" his food, as if it was "floating" in front of him.
- It's Neverland. One has to wonder: was it actually floating?
