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Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure
The Princess Bride
- The Princess Bride (aka Adventure Time)
- The narrator reminds the viewer that the story is basically a book read by a grandfather to his grandson, and thus the dialogues from the characters probably sound way less impressive to the boy than they do to the viewer. To make his point clear, the trailer then cuts to several scenes from the movie, with the dialogue dubbed over with the Narrator's imitation of Peter Falk's voice.
Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory
- Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (aka Saw, for Kids)
- The narrator trying to pronounce Roald Dahl's name, before giving up and calling him "Creepy Dr. Seuss."
- The entire Gene Wilder segment. All of it.Narrator: The late Gene Wilder shines as Willy Wonka, the Howard Hughes of diabetes. He isn't just a reclusive nutcase; he's also a master of sarcasm...
Mrs. Gloop: Don't just stand there; do something!
Willy Wonka: Help. Police. Murder.
Narrator: ...crazy eyes, and very likely a serial killer.
Willy Wonka: Two naughty, nasty little children gone. Three good, sweet little children left.
[The scene's colors briefly become inverted as scary music begins to play, while the Narrator shifts from his kid-friendly voice to his normal voice]
Narrator: Watch as he turns a factory tour into a deadly game, where only the generous survive while the impure are disfigured in accordance with their sins, and a cult of tiny orange monsters dispose of the bodies. Don't believe me? There's no seat on the boat for Augustus Gloop.
[Zoom in on Wonka's boat, which only has four pairs of seats instead of five]
Narrator: Wonka knew what he was doing, man. He knew.
- Michael Bolton appears to sing songs about the film.♫ You'll fall in, burn your skin
In a world of safety violations
My factory has no health regulations
We don't really brew candy right
We just toss some shoes into it
Every surface, someone's chewed it
Our chocolate river is mixed with sewage... ♫
- The song about the Oompa-Loompas references how, in the first edition, they were black.
- Starring: Johnny Depth (Willy Wonka), Joe Biden His Time (Grandpa Joe), When Senpai Notices You (Charlie), The Lollipop Guild (the Oompa-Loompas), 90's Alt Rock Band (Veruca Salt), What Obesity Used To Look Like (Augustus Gloop), and America (Mike Teevee, when he pretends to shoot Wonka, causing the latter to keel over).
- Shrek (aka Swamp Thing)
- It is pointed out that Shrek was going to be voiced by the late Chris Farley (while playing some surviving audios of Farley's dialogue) before being replaced by "that one voice Mike Myers does".Fat Bastard: I got a crap on deck that can choke a donkey!
[Donkey recoils with fear]
- The narrator saying that Donkey is "sadly, more famous than Eddie Murphy these days".
- The narrator pointing out the implications of Farquaad getting eaten at the end.Narrator: [while showing the film's Dance Party Ending] Wait, so who's running the government now? You just started a coup! Why are you dancing in a swamp?!
- Their parody of "All-Star", the Ear Worm theme song of the film.♫ Smash Mouth, they got Shrek rich
Did the soundtrack, got paid
Smash Mouth, stuck in your head
Every time it gets played
And if you think we're unfair
Go support them at your county fair... ♫
- Starring: Chris Fartley (Shrek), Beverly Hills Clop (Donkey), Bi-Shrektual (Fiona), Mini-Mean (Farquaad), Mother of Donkeys (Dragon), and Creepy Animation Errors (a blooper reel of such).
- The Stinger involving the narrator watching the "Shrek is love, Shrek is life" video, much to his horror,Narrator: Oh no! No-no-no-no-no-no-no! Shrek is not love! Shrek is not life! Ugh, who likes this dreck?!
- It is pointed out that Shrek was going to be voiced by the late Chris Farley (while playing some surviving audios of Farley's dialogue) before being replaced by "that one voice Mike Myers does".
- John Wick (aka A Dog's Purpose)
- The Narrator referencing the other famous character played by Alfie Allen (Iosef):
- The Narrator also realizing "Wow, this movie is like 80 percent headshots."
- And noting that the movie is pretty much like Call of Duty on the easiest difficulty. Cut to John Wick unlocking "Baba Yaga Achievement" by killing a mook with a car bomb.
- Batman Begins (aka How Bruce Wayne Got His Groove Back)
- The narrator's Retroactive Recognition moment when he realizes that the kid Batman saves is Jack Gleeson AKA King Joffrey.
- The Stinger, in which he adds to Ra's al Ghul's monologue about the League of Shadows causing many world catastrophes.Ra's al Ghul: The League of Shadows has been a check against human corruption for thousands of years. We sacked Rome, loaded trade ships with plague rats. Burned London to the ground.
Narrator: [imitating Liam Neeson, continuing his statement] [We] cancelled Firefly, made Crash win Best Picture, discovered Justin Bieber, made Harambe a meme...
The Oscars (2017)
- Arrival (aka Squid Words)Narrator: From Denise Ville-new-ve (Denis Villeneuve), comes Amy Adams' second movie this year about trying to relate to an alien no one gets along with, that will have audiences trying to wrap their minds about what they just saw... because they're pretty sure the part about the Chinese guy makes absolutely no sense.
- Lion (aka If You Say You've Seen This, You're Probably Lyin')Narrator: From first-time director Garth Davis, comes the film about the kid who goes to India with Nicole Kidman, I think, and finds a lion or something? Oh right, it's the one with Dev Patel! I hear it's really good, but honestly, I've only seen the trailer. They've got to stop releasing all the Oscar movies at the same time!
- Hell or High Water (aka Hell, It's a High Honor Just to be Nominated)Narrator: Return to West Texas for that one grizzled cowboy voice Jeff Bridges does, for a film that's so entertaining, straight-forward, and unpretentious... it has no chance of actually winning Best Picture.
- Hidden Figures (aka Diary of a Math Black Woman)Narrator: Witness the incredible untold story of the hidden contributions black women made to the space program, whose brillance was no match for the stubborn prejudice of the times, but don't worry, it won't make white people feel too bad about themselves. See? Kevin Costner is one of the good ones!
- Manchester by the Sea (aka Manchesta by the Feckin' Sea)Narrator: From the writer of The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle (Wait, really?), comes the exact opposite of that, as you take a non-stop grief train to Sadsville, led by a hard-drinking irritable Boston man living in the shadow of his more sucessful older brother. Gee, I wonder how Casey Affleck managed to get into character. [shows Ben Affleck driving a car, with Casey literally in the back seat]
- Moonlight (aka All of the Oscar Things)Narrator: Follow along on the poetic unfolding of a life, beautifully directed by Barry Jenkins, as this young [tick], black [tick], gay man [tick], struggles to escape from poverty [tick] and drug addiction [tick], told across three decades [tick], based on a play [tick], based on the life story of its author [tick]. So yeah, I'd say it's nominated for an Oscar.
- Made even funnier by the movie actually ending up winning an Oscar, the Oscar for Best Picture.
- Fences (aka Actors)Narrator: Watch what's clearly a stage play Denzel Washington decided to film, because aside from a garbage truck at the beginning, they're just talking in a house the entire time, as these actors bravely explore how much acting you can fit into one movie, featuring loud acting, nuanced acting, and snot acting. [shows a scene of Viola Davis' character crying so much that snot starts running out from Davis' nose]
- Hacksaw Ridge (aka War and Pieces)Narrator: Enjoy the brief window of time before Mel Gibson burns his bridge to Hollywood again, as he follows up the Jesus movie he filled with blood and gore, with another story about a historical pacifist filled with blood a gore. [shows two soldiers getting disintegrated in a firefight] Was that necessary? [gags]
- La La Land (aka Hollywood Hand Job)Narrator: Experience a gorgeous ode to the musicals of cinema's past, that earned nominations for Best Picture, Best Actor, Best Actress, Best Director, Best Cinematography (Sure), Best Screenplay (Really?), Best Song (Oh, okay, I get that one), Best Sound Mixing ([scoffs] Fine), Best Song (Again? Come on, did nobody watch Sing Street?), Best Costume Design? What the—? They're just wearing clothes! [shows the characters wearing plain clothes] Man, the Academy just can't resist a movie about how special movies are, can they?
- In the Starring section, since Honest Trailers bets "there will be a million speeches about Trump at the Oscars, we though we'd give him equal time to respond," followed by impersonator Brock Baker reading the Starring section as Trump:"Donald Trump": Starring: The highly overrated Meryl Streep (in Florence Foster Jenkins), Mar-A-Lago Ali (Mahershala Ali in Moonlight), Bad Hombres (the protagonists of Hell or High Water), Potential Terrorist (Sunny Pawar as young Saroo Brierley in Lion), Immigrants (the aliens from Arrival), A 6 at best (Emma Stone in La La Land), Eh, 7 (Janelle Monáe in Hidden Figures), 8 (Natalie Portman as Jackie Kennedy in Jackie), Now that's a real American, thank you for your service in the Braveheart War (Mel Gibson), That's Spider-Man, I know that one. We're both from Queens. Smart Kid. (Andrew Garfield in Hacksaw Ridge), O.J. Simpson. Great Guy. Great Golfer. (O.J. Simpson in O.J.: Made in America), Alternative Facts (a poster of Hidden Figures), Sad! (several sad scenes from Manchester by the Sea and Fences)
Narrator: Thanks for stopping by, Mr. President.
"Donald Trump": Fake views! You have fake views! More like "Not Honest Trailers." Low energy.
- In The Stinger:
- Doctor Strange (2016) (aka Stranger Things)
- At the beginning:
- The narrator's way of admitting that Benedict Cumberbatch can't pull off a Fake American accent:Narrator: You cringed when he tried to do a Southern accent [...] You weren't sure if he was serious when he attempted a Boston one [...] Now, Benedict Cumberbatch will sound like an Englishman, pretending to be German, pretending to be an American, in a feature-length tribute to Hans Gruber's accent in Die Hard when he gets caught by Bruce Willis?
Hans Gruber: "Please God, no you're one of them aren't you?"
Strange: "You care so much! Don't you?"
Narrator: Benny, buddy, your natural voice is perfect. Use it!
- The narrator praises the Cloak of Levitation (a sentient Badass Cape) for having more personality than any of the humans, and wishes that it could team up with Aladdin's Magic Carpet.
- The narrator laments that the movie loses a lot of its grandeur when viewed on a laptop, because losing the ability to admire the Visual Effects of Awesome on a huge 3D screen draws attention to the fact that most of the dialogue consists of "medical mumbo-jumbo...with a heaping side order of magic mumbo-jumbo."Narrator: Wingardium Levio-suck me sideways, this is unnecessary! Just shoot laser beams out of your wand and be done with it!
- The narrator's Alternate Aesop Interpretation teaches, "Don't text and drive, because you might end up turning into a wizard."
- Moana (aka Pacific Swim)
- The Bait-and-Switch opening.Narrator: Are you ready for a new kind of Disney movie, full of strong female characters, no forced romantic subplots, and a celebration of Polynesian culture? Then you'll love...Lilo & Stitch.
Maui: Dude, not see that coming.
Narrator: And probably also Moana.
- The narrator notes that Polynesian culture has received the "honor" of having their traditions commodified by Disney, and the video cuts to a picture of a kid wearing a Maui costume on the Disney Store website.
- The "Where You Are" parody, referred to as "The 'They're Really into Coconuts' Song", has Tui tell Moana that due to everyone's obsession with coconuts, she'll marry one at age 13. Naturally, the number ends with Moana singing to the other villagers, "You all are freaks!"
- Starring: Nemo (Moana), Choking the Chicken (Heihei held from his neck by a Kakamora), David Glowie (Tamatoa) Shy Guys (The Kakamora), and Boy, Troy Polamalu Really Let Himself Go (Maui).
- The Stinger believes that, with Rapunzel's "demon hair", Elsa's ice powers and Moana's "waterbending", Disney is building up a princess Avengers movie. He even squees at this thought.
- The Bait-and-Switch opening.
Beauty and the Beast (1991)
- Beauty and the Beast (aka Saved by the Belle)
- "Watch love bloom between Belle and Prince...Him. They never do say his name do they?"note
- In the "Belle" parody, the townspeople declare Belle to be "the first millennial".
- The "Something There" parodyI guess he's rich, and sometimes kind
But he looks like a wooly mammoth's shaved behind
I do love dogs, but I'm not sure
That a dog-man is someone I think I could pork
- The "Be Our Guest" parody, in which the enchanted objects shed light on their horrific existence.Go ahead, stuff your face
We are both stuck here in this place
We got here with no idea
We'd turn into an IKEA
There's no breaks, there's no pay
And we're trapped in here all day
Just because my boss was a dick
I become a French candlestick?
None of us deserved it
Our poor friend, the toilet,
That guy used to be a restaurant maitre d
Now for the ten years passed, he only sees Beast's ass
I must confess, we are oppressed
Get snapped in half if we protest
We're so stressed and depressed
Let us rest!
- Starring: Le CrossFit Bro (Gaston), I Pity LeFou (LeFou), Furry Guy in a Little Coat (Beast), Must Love Dogs (Belle), This French Guy's on Fire (Lumiere), It's Always 4:35 Somewhere (Cogsworth), Tea, She Poured (Mrs. Potts), and This Young Boy in an Old Man's Mouth (Maurice drinking out of Chip).
- In The Stinger:Human!Chip: Do I still have to sleep in the cupboard?
Narrator: [laughs] You have 20 brothers and sisters. So yeah, you probably do.
Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers: The Movie
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
- Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (aka He Brought a Zoo)
- "So come along on a story that works well enough on its own, but isn't that promising as an intro to a franchise, because while the whole world loved growing up with Harry Potter, we all know what happens when Johnny Depp plays a pale weirdo, and no one ever needs to see that again."Willy Wonka: Good morning, sunshine! The Earth says hello!
[Stunned Silence from Charlie and Grandpa Joe]
- Starring: Eddie Redmayne Talks To Animals (Newt Scamander), The Pillsbury O-Face (Jacob Kowalski), True Auror Season 2 (Percival Graves), Boremione (Tina Goldstein), DTF Scott Fitzgerald (Queenie Goldstein), We Need To Talk About Credence (Credence Barebone), Avada Kadeppra (Grindelwald), and Aaahh!!! Fake Monsters (the various creatures).
- The Stinger:Newt: [during the attempt to catch the Occamy] Roach in teapot.
Narrator: Gee, if only there were a magic spell that could help you out in this situation!
[cut to Harry using "Accio", which sends the Triwizard Cup portkey towards Harry to teleport back home] note
- "So come along on a story that works well enough on its own, but isn't that promising as an intro to a franchise, because while the whole world loved growing up with Harry Potter, we all know what happens when Johnny Depp plays a pale weirdo, and no one ever needs to see that again."
The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift
- The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift (aka Car Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Shift)note
- The Narrator doesn't like Sean.Narrator: Strap in as [the rest of the characters] all take a backseat to Sean, a 24 year old that looks like a 34 year old playing a 17 year old, who against all odds is the worst actor in a franchise with Vin Diesel in it.
- Sean's character arc in the film is described as him "[struggling] to overcome the same weakness as Derek Zoolander".Derek: Can't turn left.
[cut to a montage of Sean losing control of his car and crashing every time he tries to turn left]
Derek: I'm not an ambiturner.
- "And struggles to deliver lines that don't sound like a badly programmed Southern robot."Narrator: [shows a screenshot from Sean's actor's iMDB page that says that he doesn't have "any formal acting lessons."] No need to tell us you're not a trained actor on your iMDB page, man. We can tell.
- Sean's character arc in the film is described as him "[struggling] to overcome the same weakness as Derek Zoolander".
- Zachary Ty Bryan's character is credited as *grunting noise*.
- The Narrator doesn't like Sean.
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story
- Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (aka Suicide Squad: An Unnecessary Star Wars Story)
- When showing the request comments at the start, the Narrator is frustrated that they all spelled "Rogue" as "Rouge". He then says the title with the wrong spelling.
- When recounting events from previous Star Wars movies, the Narrator pronounces "remember" as "memba".
- "Meet an all-new gang of rebels you, uh...How do I put this? Shouldn't get too attached to."
- The Narrator says that the One-Scene Wonder with Darth Vader involves an aging James Earl Jones trying to give us a new iconic scene.
- Contrasting the Vader hallway rampage in this film and the Vader versus Obi-Wan duel from A New Hope.Narrator: (Over footage of Vader and Obi-Wan slowly swinging their lightsabers) BOO! Do more tricks!
- In The Stinger:
The Social Network
- The Social Network (aka Site Club)
- The Narrator noticing that movie's premise is basically millionaires suing each other for more money.
- The Narrator's description of Mark Zuckerberg:
- After describing the other main characters, Eduardo Saverin (Andrew Garfield), Sean Parker (Justin Timberlake) and the Winklevoss twinsnote (Armie Hammer), the Narrator sums up the movie as:
- All in all, they still think that it's a really good movie, which leads the Narrator to say:Narrator: Man, I wish they'd make another Facebook movie. ...is a sentence I never thought I'd say in this lifetime.
- Starring: Jesse Eisenberg As Himself (Mark Zuckerberg), Andrew Garfield, the Brazilian Jew? (Eduardo Saverin), Tim from Jurassic Park (Dustin Moskovitz), The Cloned Ranger (the Winklevoss twins), A Single Shade of Grey (Amelia Ritter), ♫ He's a Dick Who Knows DOS ♫ (Sean Parker), and All the Laptops Who Gave Their Lives So David Fincher Could Get the Perfect Shot (the many laptops used in the scene in which Eduardo smashes Mark's laptop)
La La Land
- The beginning:Narrator: From the filmmaker behind the movie about the jazz guy who likes jazz so much he ends up alone, comes a movie about a guy who likes jazz so much he ends up alone. Man, what did jazz do to Damien Chazelle?
- The Narrator's take on the movie's love story:Narrator: ... in this tale of passion, love, and ditching all that nonsense when your career takes off; as two ambitious people follow their Hollywood dreams, until the romance almost gets in the way. Phew! Dodged that bullet! You two almost had to compromise!
- The Narrator's description of how Los Angeles is portrayed:Narrator: Journey to a fantasy version of Los Angeles, where the landmarks are never crowded, no one takes their phones out before jumping in the pool, and gridlock is just a chance to free a jazz quartet from human traffickers. [refering to the band that appears on the back of a truck during "Another Day of Sun"] Don't start playing! Now's your chance! Run!
- "Meet Sebastian and Mia. She loves acting and wants to be an actress. He loves jazz and wants to be a... uh... jazz-isist?"
- When the Narrator mentions that Sebastian and Mia "completely disregard anything that isn't them," the list of things that follows includes "the 14 people on this email exchange she didn't BCC", a nod to the many jokes made about Mia not using BCC in her email about her one woman show.
- The Narrator says that the film "proves it's easier to teach a world-class singer [John Legend] how to act, than two world-class actors how to sing."Narrator: As Ryan and Emma's relationship radiates with effortless chemistry, and their dancing radiates with the general lack of effort. C'mon J. K., throw a cymbal at their heads! They're rushing! They're dragging! They're... [shows Mia breakdancing] ...doing whatever that is!
- Well, there was no way to avoid it. Near the end of the trailer, the Narrator realizes and announces there was... a mistake.Narrator: Guys, guys! Ugh, I'm sorry. No. There... there's been a huge mistake. I... Moonlight, you are this week's Honest Trailer! This is not a joke guys! Moonlight, this is your Honest Trailer!
- Sure enough, the trailer does a Halfway Plot Switch and the Narrator has to rush to end with a Honest Trailer for Moonlight (aka Big Trouble in Little Chiron) instead by using the melody of La La Land's "Another Day of Sun" to explain the film:♫ I think about that night
I got a sandy handy
from my friend in the moonlight
Mahershala Ali taught me to swim
and to be good
Helped me grow up
the way I shoud
This ain't Boyhood
And though I grew up to deal drugs
My childhood friends
still gives me hugs
My cultural identity's
a complex topic
It's not easy
being black or gay
Or having a mom who's on
(And a dead dad)
It's a good true story
(That's one good reason)
(That's another reason)
Those are the reasons Moonlight won! ♫
- There's something hilarious about the fact that this time, the "Starring" section is an honest-to-goodness actual roll call for the actors of Moonlight, "who would have been thanked had that guy from Price Waterhouse Cooper not been too busy taking selfies to keep track of the envelope."
- In The Stinger:Narrator: You know, it's frustrating that these two great movies will always be stuck together. Wait... we're not helping are we?
Fifty Shades Darker
- Fifty Shades Darker (aka Fifty Fifty Chance I Don't Make It Through the Next One)
- Epic Voice Guy lamenting that, much like in the first film, the kinky sex scenes from the book weren't in the film.Narrator: That is not why I wore an overcoat to the theater! Epic Voice Guy doesn't want vanilla, he wants Rocky Road!
- Lampshading the unintentional creepiness of Anastasia and Christian's relationship by bluntly describing her as a "future murder victim", and him as a "walking red flag".
- "The only thing less sexy than these sex scenes is how much these two seem like they actually hate each other in real life." Cut to a clip from an interview with the movie's stars where they look awkward, uncomfortable, and downright unhappy to be there.Narrator: Ugh. That's the look of two people regretting a paycheck.
- Like with the Fifty Shades of Grey trailer, in the "Starring" section we get another list of lines from the book that did not make it into the film (and yep, the "Crazy in Love" parody is back), culminating in:Narrator: "My mouth drops open. 'Kinky f*ckery?,' I squeak. 'Kinky f*ckery.' 'I can't believe you said that. I like your 'kinky f*ckery.'" At least no one was dumb enough to let that phrase in the movie.
Anastasia: I was being romantic and then you just go and distract me with your kinky f*ckery.
Narrator: Oh, come on!
- Epic Voice Guy lamenting that, much like in the first film, the kinky sex scenes from the book weren't in the film.
- Aliens (aka Aliens: Yep, That Actually Sums It Up Pretty Good)
Apone: There's some juicy colony girls that we have to rescue from their virginity! *loud laugh*
- Summing up James Cameron's vision for the movie as "Make. It. PLURAL." And then pronouncing the title as "Aliensssssssss" (the video's unchanged though).
- Pointing out that the Space Marines "can be pretty creepy sometimes", with our first shot of Drake to emphasise, before diving right into uncomfortable territory:
Narrator: uhh... but hey, that big gun's pretty sweet!
- More of this trope than Heartwarming is the memorial to Bill Paxton - a montage of all of Hudson's Freak Out! moments.
- "Together they'll take on the most dangerous monsters in the galaxy... Corporate Middle Managers. [...] And also some Xenomorphs."
- Starring: The Talented Ellen Ripley, Hey Hicksy You So Fine (Hicks), The Garbage Pale Kid (Newt), Mad About You (Burke), I'm The Pax-Man (beebababadobop) (Hudson), C-Creepy-O (Bishop), My Favourite Twitch Channel (one space Marine's Jitter Cam), YAS KWEEN (the Alien Queen), and The Most Badass Moment in Sci-Fi History:
- Logan (aka The Last of Us)note
- The Narrator's first clue that this movie would be doing Something Completely Different from the previous film in the series? That they didn't put "X-Men" or "Wolverine" in the title.Narrator: You're getting some big cojones these days Fox, and I like it!
- The Narrator understands the reveal in this film that there's X-Men comics in the films' universe as that "the X-Men have been screwed out of their comic book royalties."
- "[Ride] along with Wolverine. Once, he was a hero. Now, he's one of those Uber drivers you cancel because it looks like he's going to murder you." (Smash Cut to Logan attacking the carjackers in the opening scene)
- The Narrator enlists "all new villains" that Wolverine has to face against, only for them to turn out to be ailments and signs of old age like "bloody coughing fits", "fading eye sight", "alcoholism", "claw pus" (puss in the openings from where his claws come out from), "suicidal depression", "Mel Gibson facial hair" and the "constant urge to nap".
- The reveal that Professor X is in an even worse state than Wolverine pushes the Narrator into the Despair Event Horizon.
- The Narrator's realization that the plot of the film consists on the relatively straightforward task to "drive [Laura] to The Lost Boys' clubhouse in North Dakota" actually confuses the Narrator, as at this point he apparently has become used to more complicated things.Narrator: Wait, I thought that all X-Men movies had to cram in the Phoenix Saga, or time travel to recast someone. I mean, whose side is Mystique even on in this movie? They don't even bust through a fence after someone says "Hold on!" [shows Wolverine trying to bust through a fence with his limo after saying "Hold on!" and getting stuck] That never happens!
- The Narrator can't help but notice something:
- The Narrator describes Gabriela, Laura's guardian as "the best cellphone documentary maker, ever."Narrator: There's like, fifty different shots in this thing. I mean, check out the audio quality. What'd she do? Read a voiceover booth?
Gabriela: They [the X-23 kids] could not be controlled.
Narrator: Who's even holding the camera? Man, iMovie must be sick in the future.
- By the time the Narrator reaches Wolverine's death scene, he declares that the film is too hard to make fun of, so he decides to call for some help (which still leaves us with Epic Voice Guy going through his cellphone contacts while showing Wolverine's funeral), which means that, oh yeah, Ryan Reynolds came back to cameo as Deadpool (2016)!Deadpool: Yello!
Narrator: Hey, Deadpool, buddy! It's Honest Trailers!
Narrator: Hahaha! Good one!
Deadpool: No, seriously. Who is this? I have you saved as "Fat Betsy, don't pick up." Not sure why I picked up.
Narrator: So, we're live right now in the middle of our 200th Honest Trailer for Logan, and we were having troubles. Hoping we could call you for something edgy or mean to say? Hmmm?
Deadpool: Are you high? I'm not gonna sh*t on Logan. That film is a f*cking masterpiece. And if Jackman doesn't get an Oscar nom, I'm setting every VHS copy of Crash on fire!
Narrator: You're not threatened by another R-rated superhero movie? Full of violence and cursing? Where the hero lives with a senior? And has a kickass girl sidekick? Huh?
Deadpool: Oh. You. Motherf*ckers! You're not gonna bait me into this! I do the baiting around here, mister! I do not endorse this weak attempt to take down the Jackman just to goose your views. It's not my fault YouTube keeps unsuscribing people without telling them. But I do endorse James Mangold to do Old Man Deadpool in 2038. Oh, man! How good would that be? Just ninety minutes of Cable and I changing each other's... space diapers.
Narrator: That sounds... terrible.
Deadpool: And what would you know, Fat Betsy? This is exactly why I don't take your calls anymore. Good day sir.
Narrator: Oh wait! Please let me be in Deadpool 2— [end call] Awww!
- Starring: Logan's Run (Logan), The Nutty Professor (Charles), Snikt Girl (Laura), Young Man Logan (X-24), Steam Punk Colonel Sanders (Pierce), Mex-Men: First Class (the X-23 kids), and... Yelling (montage of many characters in the film shouting).
- In The Stinger:
- The Narrator's first clue that this movie would be doing Something Completely Different from the previous film in the series? That they didn't put "X-Men" or "Wolverine" in the title.
- Catwoman (aka Hello Shi**y)
- The Narrator introduces the film as "the solemn reminder that no matter what happens with the new Wonder Woman, the bar for female-lead superhero movies is really, really low."
- The trailer shows a montage of cuts during a fight scene, talling 37, but what really makes it is that every cut is marked by a meow.
- The Narrator notes that the film actually came out just one year before Batman Begins, but feels more like "the Spiritual Sequel to Batman & Robin."Batgirl: [from footage of Batman & Robin] Chicks like you give women a bad name.
[shows Patience Phillips scurrying away]
- The Narrator's fake-out at the "Meet [X]" part:Narrator: Meet Selina Kyle. Haha, just kidding! This movie has nothing to do with the source material. Meet some random lady named Patience Phillips...
- The Narrator thinks that Sharon Stone's role in the film gave her the chance "to vent some of her personal frustrations with Hollywood."Laurel Hedare (Sharon Stone's character): I was everything they wanted me to be, and then I turned 40 and they threw me away.
- The Narrator notes that in the film Catwoman must battle, in his words: "Moisturizer. Eeevil mosturizer."Narrator: [The antagonists release] a product that's a class-action lawsuit waiting to happen.
Laurel Hedare: You stop using it, and your face desintegrates!
Narrator: You know, I'm pretty sure that product gets recalled without Catwoman doing anything. She could literally sit her own movie out and nothing would change.
- The Narrator just calls Sharon Stone's character "Cosmetics executive Sharon Stone".
- At one point the trailer descends into a manic, merciless rant:Narrator: So look out boys, cos this ain't the superhero movie for you. And step back girls, cos it's not for you either. Or you, Batman fans. Or you, person with eyes and ears. This is a movie made for no one, about nothing, that never should have existed, whose only positive contribution to the world was Halle Berry's Razzie speech:
Halle: [from archive footage] Thank you for putting me in this piece of sh*t godawful movie!
Narrator: At least she's a good sport about it. Now just apologize for that Toad line, and we're good.
- Starring: Puss in Boots (Catwoman), The Bratt in the Cat (Tom Lone), Basuck Instinct (Laurel Hedare), Mugatu (George Hedare), and The Lion King (the scene of the cats reviving Patience Phillips into Catwoman).
- In The Stinger:Narrator: Hey, it's not like Marvel was doing much better at this point either.
[cut to the uncomfortably long scene of Elektra audibly twirling her sais while bed sheets swirl around her]
Cars and Cars 2
- Cars (aka Toys) and Cars 2 (aka Money)
- "From the studio who brought you Ratatouille, WALLE and Up, comes the movie that paid for all of them..."
- The whole reason they deliberately do two titles here - the Narrator realises there's not that much to nitpick in the first movie, so they decide to skip to the sequel.
- When they switch to Cars 2, they re-start the Honest Trailer, only this time, they replace the "the movie that paid for all of them" part with "a tedious cash-grab dumpster fire that's Pixar's worst movie by a long shot".
- The narrator maybe doesn't like neither that Mater became a Spotlight-Stealing Squad in Cars 2, nor Mater's voice actor Larry the Cable Guy. Maybe.Narrator: You remeber Lightning, Sally, and the rest of the gang at Radiator Springs. But forget about them, 'cause it's Mater's time to shine! Spend way too long with this annoying Southern truck, played by non-Southern comedian Daniel Whitney [shows a clip from Whitney's pre-Larry the Cable Guy career], who pretends to be a dumb hick named Larry the Cable Guy, who pretends to be this buck-toothed truck version of Larry the Cable Guy.
Narrator: It's like a turducken of fake idiots pretending to be even bigger fake idiots!
- The first half has the Narrator about to go into a rant about all the existential questions that the world of Cars brings up, but forgets it upon skipping to Cars 2... and then goes back into it again, reaching all the disturbing depths that he would have gone into anyways, and then staying there for way too long.Narrator: I mean, do they even have tomatoes in Cars world? I guess they must eat food 'cause they have those giant tongues, but it seems like all they do is just drink gas. Unless gas is their blood, except Mater mistakes wasabi for ice cream, which means they have ice cream. But the cows in this universe are tractors, so do they, like, milk the tractors? Does your car model determine your species? Your class? Your ethnicity? And do cop cars have to be cops, or can a race car be a janitor if he wants to? And how are cars born? This car has a mom...
Bernoulli: My mamma is right here! [cut to an '50s racer with a shawl in the stands]
Narrator: What's the difference between boy and girl cars? Do cars have sex? How? Are headlights boobs? And how do cars die? If they keep replacing their parts, are they like immortal? There's a car Pope, so is there Car-tholicism? What kind of car was Jesus? Sarge was a veteran so there were car wars. Was he in Car-nam? What kind of car was Hitler? Is the engine the brain or the heart? What's the difference between a doctor and a mechanic? If they open their door, do all their guts fall out? And why do they have door handles in a world with no humans driving them?! Except this car (Celine Dephare) has eyes in her headlights, and a steering wheel and seats. Oh geez, they did kill us all! They just evolved, and covered it all up! DAMN YOU DIRTY BRAKES, DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!!!
Narrator: Oh wow, we really sidetracked there. Where was I again?
- And for anyone hoping to take in their best known Running Gag, it ends on a Feghoot:Narrator: Starring: Cars!
- In The Stinger:Announcer: A hundred and ninenty-nine laps and baby it all comes down to this!
Narrator: Man, NASCAR is really boring.
Beauty and the Beast (2017)
- Beauty and the Beast (2017) (aka Rebooty and the Beast)
- The Stinger:Narrator: [in kid-friendly voice] Yay, the Royal Prince is back! But wait, if Gaston has a musket, then this takes place either right before or right after The French Revolution.
[cut to Lumiere slamming down a cleaver to cut a corn cob, an action that clearly resembles a guillotine]
Narrator: [back to his normal voice] Uh-oh.
- The Stinger:
Power Rangers (2017)
- Power Rangers (2017) (aka Krispy Kremey Power Rangers)
- "From the studio that could really use a new franchise now that Divergent crashed and burned onto TV,note comes the reboot that asks: 'What if we took the Power Rangers... seriously?!' Uh-oh."
- The narrator adresses the Adaptational Angst Upgrade of the Rangers head-first early:Narrator: Man, I wished they'd keep the focus off of the giant robot action and more on the Rangers' family issues - What's Trini gonna say to her parents? Is Zack's mom gonna be okay? And what timeline am I living in where these are the questions I have about the Power Rangers?
- Describing the Rangers as having so much attitude that it's like adults pulled random traits out of a hat:Narrator: Death metal yoga lesbian (Trini), cliff-diving cheerleader sexter (Kim), trailer park Asian wildcard hobo (Zack), autistic Black country music loving hacker? (Billy), and the... uh... guy who... doesn't want to play football (Jason).
- The editing making it look like the Rangers and Alpha are annoyed with Zordon's Info Dumping.
- Rita Repulsa reminds the narrator of somebody else.Narrator: Together the Rangers will battle Rita Repulsa, a fresh new take on Austin Powers' Goldmember.
[shows several scenes of Rita saying that she wants gold]
Goldmember: I love gooold!
- The narrator eventually adresses the mastadon in the living room of all the Krispy Kreme mentions.Narrator: [Rita's] got a plan to destroy the world, and it all centers around the most blatant Product Placement in movie history.
[shows the many references to Krispy Kreme, concluding with a shot of Rita stopping to take a bite out of a donut]
Narrator: Mmm... I could really got for some Dunkin' (Donuts) right now.
- The narrator points out how badly the final battle trashed Angel Grove.Narrator: Why are you cheering!? Your town is in ruins!
- Starring: Varsity Reds (Jason), Pinky in the Plane (Kimberly), Zack in Black (Zack), Really? The First Gay Superhero in a Movie? Wow (Trini), Bill Shy the Science Guy (Billy), Lady Loki (Rita Repulsa), Walter Whitecrawler (Zordon), Silly Putties (the Putty Patrollers), And Angel Grove's Hottest Club is AI-YI-YI!! It's Got Everything: Floating Heads, Morphing Grids, and 5 Teenagers with Attitude (Alpha).
- The Stinger talking about a certain ranger's color and name.
Despicable Me and Despicable Me 2
The Amazing Spider-Man 2
- The Amazing Spider Man 2 (aka Spider-Man 2: Electro Boogaloo)
- The Call-Back to the time Honest Trailers and CinemaSins exchanged places for this movie.Narrator: Wait, didn't CinemaSins already do this one? [ding]
- Noting how the movie was filled with underwhelming action scenes, trailer scenes with no real payoff in the actual movie, being too obviously desperate to create a cinematic universe and having an overabundance of subplots, all mistakes that one of the movie's writers, Alex Kurtzman, apparently didn't learn from when he directed The Mummy (2017).Narrator: Seriously? How does that happen?!
- Starring: Old Tom Holland (Peter Parker), Awww Snap (Gwen Stacy), Mr. Burns (Norman Osborn), Dane DeHaangendaaz (Harry Osborn), Dr. Manhattan (Electro), and Tobey Maguire (kid dressed up like Spider-Man from the ending).note
- The Call-Back to the time Honest Trailers and CinemaSins exchanged places for this movie.
The Fate of the Furious
- The Fate of the Furious (aka Car Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jetta)
- The beginning:Narrator: After Fast Five turned the street racing franchise into a globe-trotting action blockbuster, and Fast 6 and 7 coasted off its momentum, the newest combination of F-words and numbers is here, and they're still huffing up the fifth one's fumes: Fate of the Furious. Wow, these are getting really forced.
- The Narrator states that the film "really overestimates how much you remember from the last three":Frank "Mr. Nobody" Petty: Oh yeah, brother Owen! Who could forget him, huh?
Narrator: I did.
Dominic Toretto: ...Elena?
Narrator: Uh... who's that, though?
Ramsey: He's also linked to someone I'd like to forget. [a picture of Mose Jakande from Furious 7 is shown]
Narrator: Wait, Djimon Hounsou was in these? Look, I came here for cars and butts in no particular order. Don't overthink this, guys.
- The Narrator apparently thinks that he's witnessing the birth of a new bromance in the series:Narrator: Join Tyrese, Ludacris, Kurt Russell, and other characters that you refer to by their actors' names, as they fade into the background of a buddy action comedy starring Jason Statham and The Rock — two metahumans on opposite sides of the law responsible for Every. Cool. Scene in the movie, and struggle not to give in to their raw animal lust for each other.
Deckard Shaw: [as romantic music is dubbed in] All show and no go!
Luke Hobbs: Oh, I got plenty of go!
Narrator: I am so in for this spinoff!
- Pretty much the entirety of the Narrator's description of Charlize Theron's character:Narrator: She's Cipher, a hacker who should really fire her assistant.
Charlize Theron: [speaking behind the scenes] My assistant actually came off with the hair; she just kind of out of nowhere said, "You should do dreadlocks."
Narrator: When she's not talking to her computer screen...
[shows her doing exactly that]
[shows her also doing that]
Narrator: [also whispering] Hey Charlize, you're better than this.
- The Narrator finally gets around tackling the elephant in the room of the infamous (alleged) feud between The Rock and Vin Diesel:Narrator: Ratchet up the egos as The Rock and Vin Diesel almost share screen time, as they sort of cross paths in voiceover, in the distant background [shows Vin Diesel in the distant background, with his back to the camera, in one of The Rock's scenes], or in edits that make it seem like Vin wasn't the candy-ass male co-star The Rock called out on Instagram [shows The Rock's Instagram post in which he made the claim] Come on guys, squash the beef! You have so much in common! Like... uh... like you both... uh... hate sleeves! [sad sigh] Oh well, we'll always have Brazil.
- The Narrator notes that the franchise keeps on going, despite multiple setbacks:Narrator: So enjoy the latest installment of the franchise that's still chugging along, no matter how much the co-stars hate each other, how much the women are sidelined [shows an article about how Michelle Rodriguez is threatening to leave the franchise if it doesn't 'show some love to women'], or how clearly they're trying to fill Paul Walker's shoes with this dingus [shows Eric Reisner/"Little Nobody"]. Just turn your brain off, and watch the cars go boom, because they're counting on you to never ask for anything more. Do you guys want to see Tyrese fight a spaceship for the next one or not?
- The "Starring" section this time is composed of "the following car puns just as tire-d as this franchise is becoming":Narrator: Vehicle Identification Number Diesel (Vin Diesel/Dominic Toretto), Blastin' Martin (Jason Statham/Deckard Shaw), Planes, Dwaynes, and Automobiles (Dwayne Johnson/Luke Hobbs), Letty or Unletty (Michelle Rodriguez/Letty Ortiz), Tire Race Driftson (Tyrese Gibson/Roman Pearce), Ludaclutch (Ludacris/Tej Parker), Car-Lease Theron (Charlize Theron/Cipher), Kurb Russell (Kurt Russell/Frank "Mr. Nobody" Petty), Helen Rear View Mirren (Helen Mirren/Magdalene Shaw), and New Paul's Drag Race (Scott Eastwood/Eric "Little Nobody" Reisner).
- In The Stinger, the mention in the trailer that Michelle Rodriguez was threatening to leave the franchise becomes a Brick Joke when it shows an Instagram video of her with Vin Diesel:Narrator: Michelle, are you OK? Are you held against your will? Blow a kiss if you want us to call the police.
[she does just that]
Narrator: OK, I'm calling the cops!
- The beginning:
- Memento (aka Artsy Backwards Movie)
Ghost in the Shell
- Ghost in the Shell (aka Bicentennial Woman)
- The beginning:
- Memories about the last time there was a Hollywood adaptation of a famous Japanese anime surface again.Narrator: because as Dragonball Evolution taught American film executives: If at first you don't succeed, blame the reviews and learn nothing from your mistakes. [shows an interview with one of the film's executives saying that "clearly the reviews didn't help"]
- The Narrator's description of the Major:Narrator: You've seen Scarlett Johansson as a special ops soldier, an enhanced human, a stoic outsider, a sexy robot voice, and a white girl feeling out of place in Asia. Now, she'll combine them all as the Major, an enhanced special ops sexy robot stoic outsider white girl who feels out of place in Asia.
- The Narrator saying that the Major's only one weakness is "getting snuck upon by dudes with Tasers."Narrator: [after a montage of the Major getting hit with Tasers] You know, for all the gadgets, maybe invest in a rear camera.
- The Narrator's description of how the studio handed the movie's casting controversy:Narrator: Watch as the studio avoids a whitewashing controversy by showing off how multicultural their version of Hong Kong is, and explaining that Major's body is a robot shell for someone else's brain
Dr. Ouelet: We made you a new body, a synthetic shell. But your ghost is still in here.
Narrator: which alright, I'll buy. Then cringe in disbelief as the studio manages to ruin their own solution by revealing that yep, she was full-blown Japanese all along.
Batou: What's your name?
The Major: Motoko.
Narrator: Way to double-down, gang. You just tried to put out a dumpster fire with a much larger, easily avoidable dumpster fire.
- The Narrator considers that Beat Takeshi speaking only Japanese in the film was him being "smart enough to know this movie wasn't worth speaking English for."
- Of course the Narrator has something to say about the Major's infamous Sensual Spandex:Narrator: in a cat and mouse game of shifting loyalties that will have you wondering: Can you see her bewbs or not? I I can't tell And I definitely don't care about what else is going on; this movie is really boring.
- The Narrator believes that after this movie and Dragonball Evolution, it's best that Hollywood leave the live-action anime remakes to the Japanese at this point...and then he changes his mind when he sees a clip of Attack on Titan (2015).
- Starring: Turning Japanese, Oh Yes I'm Turning Japanese, I Really Think So (The Major), Cable (Batou), Beat Takeshi, Beat Beat Takeshi (Aramaki), Palpatine (Kuze), Business in the Front, Party in the Back (Togusa [and his mullet]), Holy Crap, Is That Top Dolla? (Dr. Osmund), and Literal Whitewashing (the white liquid that covered the Major's body when it was built).
- In The Stinger:Ishikawa: Cyber liver. It can save enough for a while. Now it's last call every night.
Narrator: Uh, guys, your friend's an alcoholic.
Point Break (1991)
Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 2
- Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (aka Dad Rock: The Movie)
- The Narrator getting annoyed by scenes of characters laughing uproariously at jokes that weren't all that funny.
- "Get ready for an episode of My Two Dads In Spaaaaaaace!"
- The Narrator points out that the tragic character of Drax has become a "dumb sex freak".Narrator: Look, you have a good thing going with Drax. Don't take it too far and Urkel your best character!
Drax: Ow, my nipples!
- Starring: Arthur Meme (a close-up of Peter's clenched fist), Han Brolo (Peter/Star-Lord), Greena: Warrior Princess (Gamora), Big Blue Beetleborg (Nebula), Drax Shepard (Drax), I Am Merch (Baby Groot), Star Fox, Do A Barrel Roll! (Rocket), Whistle While You Merc (Yondu), Mantis Toboggan (Mantis), Ego the Slutty Planet (Ego), and Ready Player One (Peter fighting Ego with a giant Pac-Man made of rocks).
- In The Stinger:Narrator: Uh oh, the Zune is from the early-2000's. I don't think Star-Lord's gonna be happy when he finds out what happened to rock-and-roll.
["Last Resort" by Papa Roach starts to play]
Kong: Skull Island
- Kong: Skull Island (aka Everything Kong With Skull Island in 120 Minutes Or Less)
- The film's director, Jordan Vogt-Roberts, showing up with his own Honest Trailer script for the narrator to read, while also Adam Westing his controversy with CinemaSins.
- Vogt-Roberts going off on a rant about complaints that the movie has too many helicopters in it.Narrator: [reading from Vogt-Roberts' own script] But it is not, I repeat, not a problem that there are Too. Many. Helicopters. [off script] Wait, what?
Vogt-Roberts: Look, everybody thinks that there's some issue where there's more helicopters in the sky than there are on the boat and then Kong takes down an infinite amount of them. Guess what? You're wrong. In the shot in the movie, when the camera goes arond the boat, you see the back of the boat. And guess what's in the back of the boat? [knocks down a King Kong figurine] F*cking helicopters! What's inside of the boat? More helicopters! What's the boat f*cking made out of? F*cking helicopters! You know why? [picks up a King Kong Funko Pop! figurine] Cause you want to see Kong, like the toy has, grabbing a f*cking helicopter! You want to pay $15 not to see him f*cking use the helicopter like a f*cking baseball bat?! The helicopter math made f*cking sense!
The Mummy (2017)
- The Mummy (2017) (aka Tom Cruise Runs From Sand (Featuring the Mummy))
- When describing the plot of the movie, noting the only way to stop Ahmanet involves resurrecting the god of death, pairing a dagger with a powerful gem, and killing the host before they complete a ritual, he suddenly stops himself to say that "shit like this" is why nobody goes to the movies anymore.
- The Narrator scoffing at the notion of Universal being able to "actually do something scary and original with a horror movie", while different films are shown doing the same thing and receiving big box office returns.
- Starring: Indiana Phones It In (Nick Morton), An American Rip-Off In London (Vail's Spirit Advisor form), Doctor Lady, M.D. (Jenny Halsey), Findin' Monsters, Findin' Monsters, Fighting Round the World (Dr. Henry Jekyll), a waste of a perfectly good Courtney B. Vance (Colonel Greenway), ♫ This is Thriller, Thriller Night ♫ (Princess Ahmanet), a swarm of spiders, a swarm of rats, a swarm of birds, a swarm of terrible reviews, and Brendan Fraser (shown over a black screen with the words "FOOTAGE NOT FOUND").Narrator: Awww, how hard would it have been to throw the guy a cameo? Where is he these days?
- Wonder Woman (aka A Justice League of Her Own)
- The intro:Narrator: From the studio known for confusing length with depth, complexity with intelligence and self-absorbed downers with heroism, the DCEU pulls off its biggest success yet by... not doing those things.
- The Narrator noting that the film's message of female empowerment might come off as a bit flawed:Narrator: [The film] had a powerful message for girls: Save the world, look flawless while doing it, be a literal god, and men might begrudgingly half-tolerate your presence. [half-hearted] Woohoo! Progress...
- Calling out that the Amazons are built-up to be the perfect warriors, yet they are still cut down by German teens with bolt-action rifles.Narrator: Hmmm... maybe send out a scout once every 500 years, or at least deploy some of your invisible jets. I know you have them.
- The Narrator describing Diana as "the hero the DCEU doesn't deserve, but sure as hell needs right now!"
- The Narrator tries to honestly (pun not intended) list Diana's qualities but, well, old habits die hard (complete with a Take That! to James Cameron's comments about the film):Narrator: She's optimistic, confident, iron-willed, vulnerable, uncompromising, and just so hot! I could say that, right? I-I mean, I don't want to come off like James Cameron, cuz it's definitely not the only thing that she's got going for, but damn!
- The Narrator's description of Chris Pine, "one of the bankable Hollywood Chrises":Narrator: Chris Pine surprises and delights in a performance that gives him first lead in the great Hollywood Chris-off, but he's more than just eye candy: He's Diana's emotional support, a voice of caution, and a love interest in constant need of rescue. Hey! They gave him the role women always have to play against the male superheroes, didn't they? I see what you did there!
- The villains and some of the implications the movie leaves do not sit well with the Narrator:Narrator: In a film with two grounded, complex leads, cringe at villains pulled from a different, much campier film.
Dr. Poison: [after gassing some soldiers] But the mask won't help!
General Ludendorff: They don't know that.
[they both do a honest-to-God Evil Laugh]
Narrator: That seems to forget the Germans in World War I were not the Nazis...
Steve Trevor: We are the good guys, and those are the bad guys.
Narrator: ...seriously expect us to buy this human milk thistle [shows Sir Patrick Morgan] as the God of War, and implies that Wonder Woman kept her head down for Hitler and Stalin, but did suit up the moment Lex Luthor made a Ninja Turtle. ...You know what? I'm sorry for even bringing BvS into this. Let's just let this one stand on its own.
- In the end, the Narrator seems to end up finding An Aesop about the film:Narrator: So get ready for a film about balancing the good and bad in all of us that contains good and bad within itself. [...] Is it an inspirational, well-made film that finally gives women a superhero to be proud of? Yes. Does it end with a lightning hands mustache man yelling videogame-level dialogue?
Diana: ...and I believe in love.
Ares: THEN... I! WILL! DESTROOOY YOOOUUU!!!
Narrator: Also yes.
- Starring: Amazon Prime (Diana/Wonder Woman), Want to Touch the Piney (Steve Trevor), Also the Queen in Gladiator (Hippolyta), Princess Cut-Her-Up (Antiope), Oooh, Party Boy (General Ludendorff inhaling smoke), *Embarrassed British Noises* (Sir Patrick Morgan/Ares), A Drunk Scotsman (Charlie), A Sneaky Frenchman (Sameer), A Wise Old Indian Guide (Chief Napi), Who Are These Guys, the Howlin' Stereotypes? (the previous three together), Pam Beasley—I Mean, Dawn Tinsley (Etta Candy), The Phantom of the Operanote (Doctor Poison), and Snyder-Vision (several action scenes in slow motion).
- In The Stinger:Charlie: Maybe you're better off without me, yeah.
Diana: No Charlie, who would sing for us?
Narrator: Um... your friend clearly has PTSD. Leave him go home!
- The intro:
Star Trek: The Next Generation
- Star Trek: The Next Generation (aka Star Trek: The New Class)
- The Narrator introduces the series as "the spin-off that gave rise to the ultimate nerd question: Kirk or Picard."
- When the Narrator describes the series as one where the protagonists "fight with their words, not with their fists":Picard: I hereby formally request third-party arbitration of our dispute.
Alien: You have the right.
Picard: Furthermore, pursuant to subsection...
Narrator: Oh man being civilized is boring.
- The Narrator refers to the USS Enterprise from this series as "an awkward hybrid between of cutting-edge space battleship and a Marriott convention center."
- The Narrator's description of the cast:Narrator: Counsellor Troi, an empath who can always tell when someone's lying. Except when she can't.
Riker: What do you think?
Troi: It's hard to tell.
Troi: I sense nothing!
Picard: What is it?
Troi: I don't know. Something... [shrugs]
Narrator: Geordi LaForge, a blind engineer who's here to say tech words;
LaForge: A cosmic string emanates a characteristic set of subspace frequencies as atomic particles decay along its event horizon...
Narrator: Worf, a warrior who never runs out of Klingon fun facts; [shows a montage of him saying things Klingons do or don't do] Lieutenant Commander Data, an android who drops being an android into conversations like your friend who just became a vegan;
Man: Why do you have yellow eyes?
Data: I am an android.
Woman: You're not human!
Data: I am an android.
Kid: You sound like you don't want to be an android.
Data: I am an android.
Narrator: Will Riker, the horniest first officer in the fleet, who's never met a woman, hologram, co-worker, amnesia-stricken crew member or genderless androgynous alien he didn't want to bone; Dr. Crusher, who's... just kind of there most of the time; her son Wesley, whose genius is only matched only by his skill at irritating people;
Wesley: I know this may finish me as an acting ensign...
Picard: Shut up, Wesley!
Wesley: I don't think this is my style.
Guinan: Shut up, kid.
Wesley: May I point out...
Dr. Crusher: Shut up, Wesley!
Wesley: Everybody needs somebody...
Narrator: And Captain Jean-Luc Picard, the most British Frenchman in the galaxy.
Picard: [to a vending machine] Tea Earl Grey. Hot.
Picard: Excellent tea. G'day.
Narrator: Watch world-class actor Patrick Stewart remain fully commited to his dialogue, even when the writers clearly fell asleep on their keyboards. [shows a montage of Picard speaking indecipherable gibberish]
- The Narrator's description of the alien races introduced in the series:Narrator: ...the Ferengi, literal buttheads with serious need of a dental plan; Q, an omnipotent trickster with a serious mancrush on Captain Picard;
Q: [to Picard while they're both lying on a bed] "Morning, darling."
Narrator: And the Kardashians, omnipresent leather-skin tyrants bent on galactic domination. I'm sorry, what's that? Oh, sorry: And the Cardassians, omnipresent leather-skin tyrants bent on galactic domination. Eh, not sure which one I prefer.
- The Narrator's description on how the series tackled social issues:Narrator: Journey to a sci-fi utopia, where poverty, racism, and war are things of the past; and forget the original Star Trek's miniskirt boys club...
Captain Christopher Pike:note [to Number One]note "She does a good job, all right, it's just that I'm not used to having a woman on the bridge."
Narrator: ...because on this Enterprise: The Future. Is. Woke.
Worf: Klingons appreciate strong women.
Riker: We no longer enslave animals for food purposes.
Data: I have decided to allow my child to choose its own sex and appereance.
Narrator: At least most of the time.
[shows a stereotypical African tribe]
Narrator: Okay. Well, at least things are better, right? I mean, the ladies aren't stereotypical anymore!
Troi: I never met a chocolate I didn't like.
Narrator: Dammit Troi!
- The Narrator refering to some of the episodes that "they wish you would forget":Narrator: Like the time the gang met Mark Twain...
Guinan: Shame on you, Mr. Clemmens, shame.
Narrator: ...the one where Captain Picard turns into a kid...
Kid!Picard: I need to see him now! Now now now now now now now!!!
Narrator: ...and the episode where Dr. Crusher inherits a lamp that contains a space ghost...
Old Guy: Don't lit that candle!
Dr. Crusher: Why not?
Old Guy: It'll bring the ghost!
Narrator: ...who she porks until it reanimates her grandmother's corpse and attacks her friends.
Space Ghost!Dr. Crusher's Grandmother: Beverly, it's alright.
Dr. Crusher: You're not Nana... Nana's dead!
Narrator: Uh... are we sure this is as good as we remember?
- Starring: Original Series Cameos (appearances by Spock, McCoy, Scotty, and Sarek), Data, Interrupted (montage of Data doing exposition before being interrupted), Death Fake-Outs (montage of series regulars being declared dead), Doppelgängers, Picard Meme Faces (the scenes of Picard that originated the "Facepalm" and "Why the F*%k!" macros), That One Lightning Effect (montage of scenes featuring the same similar lightning effect), Palm Punches, Acting! (montage a scene of Patrick Stewart's acting, ending with "Anyway, I'm not much of an actor"), The Picard Maneuver (montage of Picard adjusting his uniform), The Riker Maneuver (montage of Riker's saddle-like way of sitting), Concerts (montage of musical acts), Lots and Lots of Concerts (montage of musical acts), Seriously, So Many Concerts, (a clip of Picard rubbing his head, surrounded by a montage of musical acts), and Worf Getting His Ass Kicked (montage of... well, guess).
- In The Stinger:Narrator: But seriously, go back and watch the episode with Dr. Crusher bones a space ghost. It's just- it's- it's amazing.
- Blade Runner (aka RoboCop?)
- Starring: Definitely Shoots First (Rick Deckard), Billy Idol (Roy Batty), Finkle is Einhorn! Einhorn is Finkle! (Rachael), Littering, Coptain Adama (Gaff), William Ain't Macy (Sebastian), 4 Eyes — Err, No Eyes (Tyrell), Sex Machina (Pris), and Los Angeles Two Years from Now (the dystopian, polluted 2019 Los Angeles depicted in the film) ("Huh, kind of nailed that one").
The Emoji Movie
- The Emoji Movie (aka 💩 (read as "Poop! *fart noise*")
- The Narrator suggesting Sir Patrick Stewart's main motivation to voice the Poop Eemoji:Narrator: Prove that you can give a man talent, awards, and a knighthood, but it's nothing compared to the power of a paycheck.
- Twice during the trailer, the narrator realizes he might be getting too honest, and quickly throws in a poop joke from the movie to lighten the mood.
- Instead of listing the cast or characters during the starring section, the trailer reads some of the reviews the movie got.
- The Narrator suggesting Sir Patrick Stewart's main motivation to voice the Poop Eemoji:
The Santa Clause
- The Santa Clause (aka The Santa Curse)
Return of the Jedi
- Return of the Jedi (aka Star Wars III: Episode VI of IX (Possibly XII))
- After the Narrator mentions the Ewoks: "Just a word of advice to Daisy Ridley: If you see Lucas talking to the wardrobe department, run."
- After seeing the scene of the party in Jabba's Palace added in the Special Edition, the narrator gets fed up enough with the movie to officially become a Trekkie, only to change his mind about that as well when seeing the scene from Star Trek V: The Final Frontier where the evil entity claiming to be God attacks Kirk after Kirk asks "What does God need with a starship?".
- Jumanji (aka The Jungle Book: The Game: The Movie)
- What does the narrator consider the scariest part of the movie? That the producers cast Robin Williams, but didn't give him anything funny to say.
- The rather poorly rendered (especially by today's standards) CGI monkeys are credited as "Andy Serkis's Worst Work"
Honest Game Trailers
The Last Guardian
Final Fantasy XV
Resident Evil 7: BioHazard
X-Men Origins: Wolverine
Kingdom Hearts 2.8
Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Mass Effect: Andromeda
Shadow of Mordor
Guardians of the Galaxy: The Telltale Series
- PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds (aka Someguywhocares' Hunger Royale)
- The Epic Voice Guy revealing the winning strategy: Hiding in a corner until everyone else kills each other.
- After dying 40 times, he gets a loot box, and he eagerly opens it. It's a Red Shirt, to his frustration.
Friday the 13th
- The Friday the 13th Honest Game Trailer it's possibly the least requested video, at only one request.Narrator: [after a single request pops up] Uh... you got it, one guy.
Ark: Survival Evolved
Spyro the Dragon
- Mega Man (aka Astro Boy)
- This episode has the longest "Starring" list of any Honest Trailer, since they list off every single Robot Master from the Mega Man (Classic) series!
- Mega Man 1: note
- Mega Man 2: note
- Mega Man 3: note
- Mega Man 4: note
- Mega Man 5: note
- Mega Man 6: note
- Mega Man 7: note
- Mega Man 8: note
- Mega Man 9: note
- Mega Man 10: note
- Danganronpa (aka Despair Meets World)
- Epic Voice Guy on the series:
- Upon realizing all the atrocities in the game are performed by a homicidal Teddy Bear, he is horrified to realize it's Five Nights at Freddy's all over again.
- The names for the cast members. All of them are pretty clever, but some of them really cross the line twice: "I Can't Beleive It's Not Mondo", "Hammer Head", "Fake Gamer Grill", "Guy Friedied."
- At one point the narrator asks how New Danganronpa V3 can be any weirder than 2, only for his question to immediately be answered by seeing K1-B0, a robot. He then says he feels stupid for asking.
Marvel vs. Capcom
Pokémon Sun and Moon
- In keeping with the 1930's-style aesthetic of the game, the narration is done by a guy who sounds like an old-timey radio announcer. And every one of his lines is hilarious."...then crushes their spirits with gameplay that's harder than a petrified nutsack! Where's that smile now, little Timmy? Why, it's in the garbage! With your platforming skills!""Each dastardly villain morphs into forms more ridiculous than the last, until you inevitably perish and find out that you aren't even halfway done! But keep at it: suffering builds character! And also keeps your video game from being two hours long!""Then lose again anyway, because you're an embarrassment to your family and country.""And remember: if you cry, the communists win!""Drink deep from the sense of accomplishment you feel, when you've finally mastered its cartoony challenge and can safely say you've mastered Cuphead. ...Excuse me? What's that, you say? There's a hard mode? Go f*** yourself!""Did you know there's an unlockable black-and-white mode? All you need to do is beat every run-and-gun mode without firing a shot. Sounds about as much fun as going down a slide made of cheesegraters!"
Shadow of War
South Park: The Fractured But Whole
Super Mario Odyssey
Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus
Call of Duty: WW2
Star Wars Battlefront 2
Five Nights at Freddy's: Pizzeria Simulator
- The narrator once again getting upset at having to do yet another trailer for a Five Nights game.Narrator: (reacting to comments asking him to do the game) No! No! NO! Not another one! When is this ever gonna end?! (more comments appear) Ugh! Fine!
Honest Anime Trailers
Attack on Titan
- Attack on Titan (aka Saved by the Wall)
- "Enter a dystopia where the world is ravaged by huge dickless nudists as soldiers fight to protect humanity by sacrificing life and limb - literally."
- Eren being described as the "punching bag protagonist". Cue a rapid-fire montage of Eren getting his ass kicked by other people.
Sword Art Online
- Sword Art Online (aka Harem Online)
- Bleach (aka Clorox)
- Naruto (aka Teenage Human Ninja Ninjas)
- Regarding Naruto's relationship with Sasuke:Narrator: Witness the greatest bromance of all time, as Naruto tries to bring his friend Sasuke back home despite the fact that he ran away, defected to another country, subjected himself to evil experiments, also beats Naruto to death, keeps saying that he's not going home, tried to kill his friends, tried to kill Naruto, again, tried to destroy his country, tried to kill all the world leaders, and did I mention that he tried to kill Naruto? Because he tries that a lot.
- As a bonus, the clip that is accompanying the narrator stating that Sasuke always tries to kill Naruto? A sped up version of Sasuke relentlessly beating Naruto's face to a bloody pulp.
- Starring: Therapy No Jutsu (Naruto), Fall Out Boy (Sasuke), She-Hulk (Sakura), Plagiarism Ninja (Kakashi), Best Nii-San (Itachi), My Brand (Hinata), Snake Gobbler (Orochimaru), Pervert Frogger (Jiraiya), Japanese Two-Face (Obito), Tina Turner (Madara), and these other guys that you see once or twice... sometimes.
- The Stinger:Narrator: So... Naruto saves the world by turning into a harem of sexy men? Stay weird, Japan!
- Regarding Naruto's relationship with Sasuke:
One Punch Man
- One-Punch Man (aka Premature Eradication Man)
Hunter × Hunter
- Hunter × Hunter (aka Random × Crap)
- Tokyo Ghoul (aka Tokyo Edgelords)