WARNING: Spoilers are unmarked.
1x02 - Eye of the Beholder
1x03 - The Road to Calydon
1x04 - The Festival of Dionysus
- Hercules' Distracted by the Sexy during his arm-wrestling match with Atalanta. Atalanta then quips that he's "as much a man as he is a god."
1x06 - As Darkness Falls
1x07 - Pride Comes Before a Brawl
1x08 - The March to Freedom
- When Hercules goes to the marketplace for Alcmene, a pig keeps brushing up against his leg. When Herc gently keeps trying to kick the pig away, the off-screen owner tells him to knock it off and rushes him. Without missing a beat, Hercules flips the guy on his back and nonchalantly says, "Hello, Iolaus."
- When Iolaus tries to shake Oi-Lan's hand, she flips him.Iolaus: [to Hercules] It's bad enough when you flip me.
1x09 - The Warrior Princess
1x10 - Gladiator
1x11 - The Vanishing Dead
1x12 - The Gauntlet
1x13 - Unchained Heart
- The sheer look of Oh, Crap! on Autolycus's face when he realizes it's Hercules he's dealing with.
2x02 - All That Glitters
2x03 - What's in a Name?
- Poor Iolaus. Locked up in a dungeon with nothing to eat. He makes many attempts to get some of the guards' food, but is constantly thwarted, even by the dogs.
2x04 - Siege at Naxos
2x05 - Outcast
2x06 - Under the Broken Sky
2x07 - The Mother of All Monsters
2x08 - The Other Side
2x09 - The Fire Down Below
2x10 - Cast a Giant Shadow
2x11 - Highway to Hades
2x12 - The Sword of Veracity
- After using the Sword of Veracity (a sword that forces a person to tell the truth) to save a friend, Hercules and Iolaus head out to return the sword. Iolaus still has a hard time believing such an ordinary-looking sword could be so powerful...until it causes a bad case of Brutal Honesty at the end.Older Woman: You wanna know what I do with those fruitcakes you bake every year? I feed'em to the goats.Younger Woman: Yeah? Well, I only put up with you 'cause you're married to my brother. I never liked you anyway.
2x13 - The Enforcer
2x14 - Once a Hero
2x15 - Heedless Hearts
2x16 - Let the Games Begin
- Atalanta doing an Effortless Amazonian Lift on Herc as a surprise greeting.
2x17 - The Apple
- The episode starts with Hercules sleeping on the beach, but he is awakened by Iolaus who has invented a new sport— surfing! Hercules doubts that riding a piece of wood on a wave will catch on and become popular. Then at the end of the episode, Hercules and Iolaus see some kids surfing.Iolaus: Itll never be popular. Really.
- Hercules use the golden apple to distract Aphrodite (rather, "Aphrodite~!") at a pivotal moment near the climax; Sorbo's delivery is hilarious.
2x18 - Promises
2x19 - King for a Day
2x20 - Protean Challenge
2x21 - The Wedding of Alcmene
2x22 - The Power
2x23 - Centaur Mentor Journey
2x24 - The Cave of Echoes
3x02 - Doomsday
3x03 - Love Takes a Holiday
3x04 - Mummy Dearest
3x05 - Not Fade Away
3x06 - Monster Child in the Promised Land
3x07 - The Green-Eyed Monster
3x08 - Prince Hercules
3x09 - A Star to Guide Them
3x10 - The Lady and the Dragon
3x11 - Long Live the King
3x12 - Surprise
3x13 - Encounter
3x14 - When a Man Loves a Woman
3x15 - Judgment Day
3x16 - The Lost City
3x17 - Les Contemptibles
- Jean-Pierre (Iolaus) clumsily taking off his cloak as he holds up Francois (Salmoneus) in his introductory scene, followed immediately by Robert (Hercules) swinging in, hitting Jean-Pierre, and holding up Francois.
- Jean-Pierre then berates Robert, hitting him numerous times as Robert yells in reply. His French accent makes it funnier.
- Jean-Pierre briefly misinterpreting Robert's efforts to alert him to Francois drawing his sword.
- Francois curb-stomping Jean-Pierre and Robert. If you imagine it as Salmoneus curb-stopping Hercules and Iolaus, it becomes even funnier.
- Francois punching Jean-Pierre and sending him falling to the ground as the latter attempts to rush him is utterly hysterical.
- Robert and Jean-Pierre's "Who?" in reply to Francois mentioning "Hercule."
- Robert picking his nose as Francois relates the tale of Hercules.
- Robert and Jean-Pierre taking off after hitting some French soldiers.
- Robert, Jean-Pierre, and Francois hiding in a chest and moving it across the floor.
3x18 - Reign of Terror
3x19 - The End of the Beginning
- Autolycus's subplot has several, as he teams up with and gets irritated by his younger self.
- His younger self mocking him as "Mr. Goody Two-Shoes!"Autolycus: [punching him out] I ain't that good.
- "I know this is a huge shock, Hercules, but at one time I was actually obnoxious."
- His younger self mocking him as "Mr. Goody Two-Shoes!"
3x20 - War Bride
3x21 - A Rock and a Hard Place
3x22 - Atlantis
4x02 - Hero's Heart
4x03 - Regrets...I've Had a Few
4x04 - Web of Desire
4x05 - Stranger in a Strange World
- Ares showing Iolaus 2 to Hercules as he laughs.
- Iolaus 2 generally goofing off as Ares and a perplexed Hercules watch.
- Ares tells Herc: "He starts to mime, he's a dead man." Cue Iolaus 2 miming, which prompts Ares to advance on him until Hercules stops him.
- Hercules pulling a Stealth Hi/Bye on Iolaus 2 in Ares's temple with a flat "Hi."
- When Iolaus mentions Alcmene to The Sovereign, The Sovereign yells "SHE ABANDONED ME!!!" and throws a temper tantrum.
- The petulant way The Sovereign drops Iolaus, whom he was threatening, as he consents to an audience with Aphrodite 2.
- The Sovereign backhanding Iolaus after he comments that Aphrodite 2 is all covered up.
- Iolaus's surprise that Aphrodite 2 is a shy Proper Lady.
- Xena 2 being The Ditz throughout the episode.
- As The Sovereign and Xena 2 engage in some Destructo-Nookie, Iolaus comments "Their foreplay is gonna get me killed!"
- Apparently, in the Alternate Universe, Hera is the Goddess of Music.
- On that note, Cupid is the God of War. Ares 2 refers to him as "that maniac" and shudders at the thought of him as he talks with Iolaus.
- Fridge Brilliance kicks in when you realize: Cupid's actor Karl Urban plays another part on Hercules and Xena: Julius Caesar. Who is - you guessed it - a warmonger! So imagining Cupid as a maniac war god might not be that far-fetched...
- On that note, Cupid is the God of War. Ares 2 refers to him as "that maniac" and shudders at the thought of him as he talks with Iolaus.
- Iolaus trying to amuse The Sovereign to prevent prisoners from being executed. Ares 2 and Aphrodite 2 are amused by Iolaus's antics and jokes. The Sovereign and Xena 2? Not so much.
- Xena 2's pouty face as she complains to The Sovereign about him deciding to not execute the prisoners.
- Ares's very childish "He always liked the two of you better than me!" to Hercules and Aphrodite before going "I'm outta here!" and teleporting away.
- Aphrodite putting a blonde wig on Ares's head as part of a concerted effort to draw out the God of War.
- Xena 2 switching the bride doll with a doll of herself on the wedding cake.
- As Ares 2 officiates The Sovereign and Aphrodite 2's wedding, he pleads for someone to voice objections to the union. When one man steps up, the guards draw their swords and aim it at his neck. The Sovereign then comments "No objections."
- Xena 2 and Aphrodite 2's Cat Fight, which involves the two women taking turns smashing the other's head into the wedding cake.
- After Xena 2 uses her shoe much in the same way her normal counterpart uses her chakram (which is, in and of itself, a CMOF), she comments that she has more skill than she thought, then decides to make a break for it.
- The Reveal that the Executioner is Gabrielle 2, who demands to know "Where's that Trojan elephant that did this to me?"
- Hercules and Ares striking each other at the same time, sending themselves skidding across the ground.
- After Zeus opens another dimensional portal, Hercules thanks Ares for his help and runs for the portal, while Ares stays on the ground and bewilderingly asks "I helped him?"
- The Sovereign's narmy Big "NO!" as he's trapped between dimensions.
- Ares saying he hates happy endings before teleporting away with Aphrodite.
- The look on Iolaus's face when Hercules asks him if he'd look better with a beard.
4x06 - Two Men and a Baby
4x07 - Prodigal Sister
4x08 - ...And Fancy Free
4x09 - If I Had a Hammer...
- Atalanta shutting Salmoneus up with a punch to the chest as Sal is talking about her physical prowess.
4x10 - Hercules on Trial
4x11 - Medea Culpa
4x12 - Men in Pink
- Samoneus. Autolcyus. Together. Hilarity Ensues does not even begin to cover it.
- When they first meet, Autolocyus introduces himself as Samoneous goes "who?"Samoneus: Oh! The King of Thieves! Well, it's an honor to be robbed by you, sir!Autolycus: Think nothing of it my good man.
- Blamed for the murder of a king, Salmoneus resists Autolycus's Disguised in Drag plan and says they're innocent.Autolycus: Oh, sure, they'll believe that. You were holding the knife, and I'm the King of Thieves. If we're lucky, they'll only kill us once.
- The two manage to hide in a fruit market with watermelons as helmets. It works.
- The two in drag performing for a women's club. Words cannot do justice.
4x13 - Armageddon Now, Part 1
- Ares and Strife's Evil Cannot Comprehend Good moment:Hercules: Don't you have any scruples?Strife: Eh?Ares: Any what?
- Ares going "Oh, the horror!" as Hercules destroys the weapons the God of War tried to give to King Tyndareus.
- Ares then gripes it took Hephaestus months to make those weapons, to which Herc replies Hephaestus needs a new hobby, like "knitting." Herc's mocking smile makes it better.
- Ares nodding insistently at Strife, twice, to attack Hercules.
- Strife yelling and doing fighting moves at Hercules, who simply punches him and sends him flying backwards into Ares's arms.
- Ares then remarks "And the day started so well" and drops Strife.
- After Strife points out Callisto isn't one of them, Ares very dryly tells him "Shut up, Strife" and backhands him.
- And when Strife tries to tell Ares that Callisto is playing him, BOTH Ares and Callisto tell him "Shut up, Strife!" and send him flying backwards with streams of fire.
- The Sovereign's extremely narmy cry of "DISAPPOINTED!" after Ares steals the Hind's Blood medallion.
- Ares knocking Strife on his head when he again tries to interfere between him and Callisto.
- The Sovereign falling flat on his face after being exposed to the Greek equivalent of knockout gas.
- And Iolaus briefly falling asleep.
4x14 - Armageddon Now, Part 2
- In the Alternate Timeline, Iolaus finds Ares and tries to get his help against Xena, only for Ares to passionately comment about how Xena's name excites him, then asks Iolaus in a conversational tone why he'd want to stop her.
- Hercules's "Surprise!" to Callisto after he escapes from the world between worlds. Also an awesome moment.
- The Sovereign's "Very DISAPPOINTED!" after the portal to the real world closes, followed by him grumbling "I really hate him."
4x15 - Yes, Virginia, There is a Hercules
- When Rob Tapert wakes from a nightmare wearing a blindfold, he worries that he's gone blind, then prays to God, saying he'll sing in the shower instead.
- Rob's response to Eric Gruendemann after learning about the earthquake: "I'm a producer. I don't feel anything."
- Liz Friedman's introduction includes a shot of a photo of Rob with knifes embedded into it.
- Jerry Patrick Brown's entrance involves him going berserk during a game of paintball.Jerry: Paintball ain't just a game, soldier. It's a metaphor for life! It's survival of the fittest. Search and destroy. Kill or be killed. These are a few of my favorite things.
- When Liz calls him, Jerry asks Liz if she's on a secure line.
- Paul Robert Coyle coming onto a casino worker (and failing), then thinking the person who's calling him is a debt collector.
- He then tries to come onto Liz over the phone, only for Liz to abruptly hang up on him.
- During Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci's introduction, they're both seen clutching stuffed dolls while sleeping.
- The Reveal that Alex and Bob are living together inside a closet in Renaissance Pictures' conference room.
- Liz blowing on Paul's house of cards at the conference table.
- Jerry checking the conference room for bugs. When Liz tells him the room isn't bugged:Jerry: That... (points at Liz) ...is exactly what they want you to think. (goes to check a vase)
- When Rob barges into the room, Jerry tries to block the door or something, only to end up getting hit in the face.
- Paul fretting over Kevin Sorbo going missing:Paul: No star, no show! No show, no paycheck! No paycheck, no kneecaps! I got debts!
- This lovely exchange:Jerry: Back in Korea, we had a saying: "You never leave a man behind."Liz: When were you in Korea?Jerry: I was there for the Olympics, missy! It was hell.
- "Davey, I'm gonna give you one last chance to prove you're not a moron."
- Rob muttering his suspicion that Davey is a dope fiend after the latter eagerly leaves to complete his task.
- When Liz suggests an episode that focuses on a strong woman, Rob tells her they can't afford Margaret Thatcher.
- As Alex points out that, without a good guy to fight, Ares wouldn't have anything to do, we get treated to a scene of Ares and Callisto doing RockPaperScissors, complete with whooshing noises. Ares loses and storms off, calling Callisto "Dumb blonde!" and Callisto childishly yelling back "Hey!"
- The male production crew humming the show's theme in the bathroom.
- Melissa Blake's over-the-top reaction after receiving word that B.S. Hollinsfoffer, the head of the studio, is on his way to the office.
- Paul frets that Hollinsoffer is gonna fire them, Jerry wields his knife and says "Bring him on, baby!", and Liz tells them both to shut up.
- Hollinsfoffer's reply to Melissa: "Say, you're a pretty good liar. Are you an executive?"
- This lovely nugget:Hollinsfoffer: Weekends are for Communists!Liz: Look what happened to them.
- Paul wussing out and tearfully admitting to Hollinsfoffer that Kevin Sorbo is missing.
- Hollinsfoffer then pushes Paul off of him, and Paul hits his head on the conference table before falling to the floor.
- Hollinsfoffer and Rob's slapping match, followed by both men slapping Alex when he tries to get them to calm down. Alex then stumbles backward into Jerry, who pushes him away. Alex's glasses fall off and he ends up accidentally groping Liz's breasts. Liz then decks him in the face, sending him falling over the conference table.
- After Paul pitches the idea of trapping Hercules in a vortex and The Sovereign wreaking havoc in order to compensate for Hercules's absence, Liz calls him an idiot and points out that Kevin Sorbo also played The Sovereign. Cue Paul bursting into tears.
- The male production crew going ga-ga over Beth Hymson, the casting director who implies she's sleeping with her hunky gardener Johnny Pinko ("You should see the size of his weed whacker!").
- The production crew correctly guessing Johnny Pinko's question to them: "What's my motivation?"
- Alex and Bob scooch closer to Beth, who gives them a look, prompting them to scooch away.
- Johnny Pinko's over-the-top audition for Hercules.
- Other actors who audition include a Sean Connery-esque actor, a ventriloquist, a mime, and an Elvis Impersonator.
- Thus snarks Liz afterward:Liz: Well, if we ever make a show called Rejects, we'll know where to look.
- Thus snarks Liz afterward:
- Rob proving how much of a Dirty Coward he is by challenging Jerry to a throw-down...and then grabbing Liz, holding her in front of him, and saying Jerry will have to go through her.
- Paul then bets ten bucks on Liz for the first round.
- Davey calling the studio while trying to outrun a stampede of bulls in Spain.
- Liz punching Paul when he hugs her as he freaks out.
- When Paul comes to and asks what happened:Liz: Aftershock. You slipped and fell on my fist.
- When Paul comes to and asks what happened:
- As Melissa prepares to cut Rob's hair, she glances from the scissors to Liz, who mouths at her "Not now."
- Melissa accidentally cutting off some of Rob's hair, and everyone's amused reactions to it.
- Apparently, Beth tried to get Don Knotts to replace Sorbo as Hercules.
- After Alex and Bob pitch their idea for "Chimpules":Rob: You guys sit there like vegetables for six months and the first idea you come up with is "Chimpules?!"Alex: Well, we were saving it for the right time.Hollinsfoffer: How the fu(bleep) did they get these jobs?!
- During the climatic brawl among the production staff, Liz bites Jerry's crotch, and Jerry lets out a high-pitched "Damn!"
- The very reason Ares manipulated everything so the show would get canceled: So he could watch Millennium in peace.
- The Reveal that Hercules was actually starring As Himself under the name Kevin Sorbo.
4x17 - One Fowl Day
- Discord as a giant chicken prompts arguably the definitive version of the old joke ever.Barnabus: Why did the chicken cross the road?Autolycus: To kill us all!
4x18 - My Fair Cupcake
4x19 - War Wounds
4x20 - Twilight
4x21 - Top God
- During his and Young!Hercules's fight with Ariadne's harassers, Young!Jason sticks his banana into his foe's mouth and tells him "Enjoy the rest!" before striking him.
- When Apollo mentions that Hercules' name comes up a lot whenever Zeus and Hera talk, Young!Hercules gives Young!Jason a "I told you so" wink.
- Zeus asking Young!Hercules if there's something wrong with his hearing after Hercules asks if he's Zeus.
- Young!Herc insists to Zeus that Apollo said it was okay for him to have ambrosia. The King of the Gods gives a perfect annoyed dad response: "I don't care what he said!"
4x22 - Reunions
- A Brought Down to Normal Zeus takes refuge in a bar and immediately turns on the charm for a blonde patron. This annoys her boyfriend, but later, all three of them are drunkenly singing tavern songs.
- Also good is Hera's reaction. She's enraged that Zeus wound up in the arms of "a bimbo" and is having the time of his life.Hera: He's supposed to be suffering—driving himself crazy because once he was somebody!
Ares: Y'know, maybe it might just come to him how miserable he is without you.
- Also good is Hera's reaction. She's enraged that Zeus wound up in the arms of "a bimbo" and is having the time of his life.
- Nebula fighting off some guys while Hercules and Iolaus just shrug and sit down until she calls for their help.
5x02 - Descent
5x03 - Resurrection
5x04 - Genies and Grecians and Geeks, Oh My
5x05 - Render Unto Caesar
5x06 - Norse By Norsevest
5x07 - Somewhere Over the Rainbow Bridge
5x08 - Darkness Rising
- This is possibly an example of Black Comedy, but Dahak makes it clear to Nebula that he doesn't take rejection well. At all.Dahak: NO! IT'S NOT OVER UNTIL I SAY IT'S OVER!
- Dahak, in Iolaus's body, greeting Hercules with "Boo!"
- After Hercules declares to Dahak that he isn't staying, Dahak pretends to sob how he came back from the dead just to see Hercules.
- As Dahak exposits to Hercules how he was able to enter the world despite Herc's efforts to stop him, he obviously causes creepy organ music to play in the background as he mockingly relates his tale.
- He ends the story by singing "The end!", then considers for a moment before remarking "Or maybe it's only the beginning."
- And of course how he begins his story: "It's the story of a time long ago..."
- During the climatic fight, Dahak whistles at some bladed weapons as he telekinetically hurls them at Hercules.
- Herc's Pre-Asskicking One-Liner after Dahak mimics his voice: "Not bad, but your delivery lacked a certain punch!"
5x09 - For Those of You Just Joining Us
- Rob's meeting with Hollinsfoffer at the start.
- After they watch a clip of Hercules, Iolaus, and Autolycus facing a giant chicken.Hollinsfoffer: Let me get this straight, Tapert...Hercules versus a chicken?
Rob: You know, that's not fair. It was a giant chicken.
- Hollinsfoffer jabbing a cattle prod into Rob's foot, which is propped up on his desk.
- "Oh, come on, B.S. You know me better than that. I never cared about quality."
- This nugget:Hollinsfoffer: What is it with you and animals, anyway?
Rob: (concerned) Why, what have you heard?
- "I want action! I want romance! I wanna see Salmoneus in more episodes!"
- Hollinsfoffer then orders Rob and his crew to come up with a new script by the end of the week or Rob will be selling cotton candy at an amusement park dressed as Woody Woodpecker, followed by Hollinsfoffer doing a Woody Woodpecker laugh.
- Rob challenges Hollinsfoffer, calling him "spinach beard." Cut to Rob being thrown through the doors of Hollinsfoffer's office.
- After they watch a clip of Hercules, Iolaus, and Autolycus facing a giant chicken.
- Liz going "Damn!" after Rob replies nothing's broken after being thrown out of Hollinsfoffer's office.
- This brief but lovely exchange:Rob: Hollinsfoffer wants a bunch of new story ideas by end of week, or it's fade out on me.
Melissa: What's the bad news?
- The scene where Hercules, posing as Kevin Sorbo, is driving along, when Ares suddenly appears in the car with him, holding a Hercules action figure:Ares: (high-pitched voice) Oh my god, it's Kevin Sorbo! (bites the action figure's head off) Oh, oh, Momma! Momma! Oh, oh! (tosses the figure out of the car) Oh, the humanity!
- Before Ares shows up, Hercules is whistling the show's theme tune.
- As Hercules drives and Ares mentions "those cheesy, blue-screen effects", the background changes, showing old-time scenes involving a Tyrannosaurus rex, horse-racing, and fighting soldiers.
- For bigger laughs, the horse-racing is seen behind Hercules while the soldiers scene is shown behind Ares.
- Ares hits the bottom of Motive Decay, as he reveals what he wants from his do-gooder brother: "Merchandising rights."
- The resigned self-awareness in Ares's voice as he says that line makes it funnier; it's like he's saying "Yeah, I know my motives suck, but what else am I gonna do?"
- Hercules eventually boots Ares out of the car ("This is where you get off"), and Ares is heard cursing at Herc.
- Paul is nervous about the retreat:Paul: I just got a call. They told us to pack our bags. They're shipping us out, aren't they? Why, Jerry?! Why?!
Rob: Because we've all gotta learn to work together, to be creative in a crunch, to boost overall morale. By the way, Paul, your last script sucked.
Paul: (dropping to his knees) I'll change my ways! I promise! I'll only drink when I'm awake! I'll tip all the showgirls!
- The looks on Paul and Jerry's faces after Rob announces they're going on a corporate retreat.
- Everyone dresses in outdoorsy clothes...except Liz, who retains her black suit.
- Sunny Day's introduction.Sunny Day: Well, howdy y'all, y'all. Welcome to Camp Wannachuck, where every day, you'll see a sunny day. 'Cause that's my name: Sunny Day.
Liz: Pray for rain.
- Everyone, but especially Paul, freaking out upon meeting Norma Bates, complete with Psycho-style music.
- "Eeny, meeny, miny...DIE!"
- The "trust exercise" that has the rest of the production crew withdraw their arms as Rob falls to the ground.
- Rob's shoes squeaking as he turns around on the table.
- After Rob hits the ground and falls unconscious, Paul steals Rob's wallet as he checks to see if he's all right. And he does this in plain sight of everyone else. Who make no move to stop him.
- This:Jerry: Is he dead?
Liz: Don't tease me.
- Iolaus's "cheesy death montage" scene. First is spontaneous combustion, then being eaten by a lizard and, finally, "the old fashioned ACME way."Iolaus: One of those days...
- When Hercules arrives, Jerry shoots up from his seat, salutes, and barks "Ten-hut!"
- Hercules pitching how to kill off Iolaus with dignity, recapping "Faith." After the clips are done, we cut back to a bawling production crew.
- Melissa telling Paul that having a conversation with him is like being in a coma without the advantages.
- As Norma looks creepily at the camera after supposedly poisoning the soup, lightning flashes...even though it's sunny outside.
- Hercules "accidentally" breaking the dining table to prevent the crew from eating Sunny Day's poisoned soup.
- After Jerry enthusiastically answers Sunny Day's question ("A true sign of character is knowing when to say, 'The buck stops here.' Which one of our illustrious presidents had that very motto on his desk?" "I know it. I know it! Our 33rd president, and a great American, Mr. Harry S. Truman!"), Liz remarks "I think they dropped the bomb in the wrong place."
- Paul freaking out in the sweat lodge, saying he can't breathe and asking Melissa to give him "mouth-to-mouth," prompting Melissa to knock him out.
- As Jerry comments on how there's nothing scarier than seeing Paul's backside, Paul farts.
- Everyone wears a towel in the sweat lodge...except Liz, who retains her black business suit.
- Rob's idea of Hercules getting in touch with his spiritual side: A clip of Hercules, his long hair tied in a ponytail, standing on someone's doorstep holding a flower and asking, in a very effeminate voice, for a donation to "the Church of Soul and Consciousness," only for said someone to slam the door in his face ("Get lost!").
- Rob considering Hercules's thoughtful answer, accompanied by the sound of wheels turning, until Hercules goes "Never mind."
- Rob's idea of "Hercules in Ireland": Hercules dressed in a kilt and playing the bagpipes, while a leprechaun dances at his feet.Rob: Sometimes, I'm so brilliant, it's frightening!
Melissa: Well, ya got it half-right.
- "Look, everyone, it's Mel Torme!"
- Norma Bates again startling the production crew right after Rob tells everyone they're going to stay "even if it kills us."
- Liz just gives Norma a small smile and strokes her own hair.
- Sunny Day then shows up and chides Norma for leaving the house.Sunny Day: Norma, honey, you know the rules. In the closet by sundown. Now, get.
- Sunny Day then tells the gang that Norma hasn't been the same since Ginger Spice left the group. This news takes Jerry by surprise.Jerry: Dear God in Heaven, say it ain't so!
- After Jerry points out that Hercules's pitch doesn't account for the villain in the end and Hercules replies he left that open to build up the villain's next appearance, Paul cackles at Jerry, who backhands him.
- Everyone huddling behind Hercules as they try to figure out the answer to Hercules's question. Liz doesn't even join them; she just steps into a corner by herself.
- The buzzer sound effect that's heard when Rob gives the wrong answer: "Falafel."
- Jerry doing karate moves as the cave starts to collapse.
- The flashback of Hercules coming across Sunny Day, revealed to be Hollinsfoffer, singing "Figaro" in a deep voice.
- How Hercules figured out Sunny Day is Hollinsfoffer: Norma Bates simply slipped him a note in the sweat lodge.
- Hollinsfoffer growling at Norma after she handcuffs him roughly.
- Hercules making a chatting motion as Hollinsfoffer rants about his Evil Plan.
- When Ares zaps into the cave:Rob: Oh...Liz: My...Jerry: (happily) God...Melissa: Of...Paul: War! (passes out)
- "You haven't heard the last of me! Wherever there's television, there'll always be B.S.!"
- Ares pulling an I Always Wanted to Say That on Hollinsfoffer by telling him "You will never work in this town again!"
- Jerry expressing it's "kinda comforting" that the God of War is real.
5x10 - Let There Be Light
- Dahak's response to Hercules overturning a table in one of his temples.Dahak: The maid doesn't come until tomorrow.
- Dahak's religious gathering strongly resembles something one would see in a Western-world Christian church, complete with organ music and a lively choir. Dahak even speaks with a Southern accent as he preaches to his congregation.
- Hercules's greeting to Dahak during his Big Damn Heroes moment:Hercules: Hi, Dahak. Now it's your turn to pray.
- Herc's Bond One-Liner to Dahak as he prepares to use the mystical gem against him:Hercules: Oh, lighten up!
- Ares's failed attempt to attack Nebula and Morrigan.Ares: (as his zap pops out) Oh, great.Nebula: Don't worry. Happens to all men sooner or later.
- Ares hurting his ankle after he jumps down from his perch, then hiding behind a statue of himself.
- Nebula then asking him "You are Ares, right?"
- After a bunch of Dahak's followers burst into the temple:Nebula: I've heard of religious conviction, but this is ridiculous.
- As Ares flees with Nebula and Morrigan, he takes a moment to turn back and tell his pursuers "You're all on my list!", prompting Nebula to grab and pull him away with her.
- Ares laughing as Nebula and Morrigan wisely haul ass away from Dahak's worshipers after he turns them on the two women.
5x12 - Sky High
5x13 - Stranger and Stranger
- When Hercules finds the Sovereign out cold with a nasty bruise on his head and his blood on a large rock.Hercules: Ah. Now I know why I have headache.
- Iolaus 2 freaking out after learning the original Iolaus is dead.
- Iolaus 2 tells Hercules he wound up in the netherworld through a portal and that the Sovereign doesn't know about it.Iolaus 2: (whispers) I told him (the Sovereign) I didn't know how I got in here.
Hercules: And he believed you?
Iolaus 2: Yeah.
Hercules: (groans) Maybe I'm not as smart as I think I am.
- Iolaus 2 refuses to go with Hercules, then The Sovereign begins to stir and he changes his mind.
- Ares 2 checking himself out in a mirror and asking "Does this outfit make my butt look big?"
- Nebula 2 dissolving into tears and complaining that no one "likes me for me!"
- Nebula 2 welcoming Hercules (posing as The Sovereign) and flirting with him a bit...then punching him, demanding to know where he's been and grousing about his absence as she pushes him repeatedly.Nebula 2: Where have you been?! Every day without you has been an eternity, every eternity an infinity, every infinity—Hercules: Hey! I get your point!
- She then executes a Groin Attack on Hercules, complete with a cartoonish squeak and Herc going "Hello!" with the funniest stunned expression on his face.
- When Nebula lets go of Hercules's...goods, another squeak is heard.
- She then executes a Groin Attack on Hercules, complete with a cartoonish squeak and Herc going "Hello!" with the funniest stunned expression on his face.
- Hercules tossing Falafel out of the window to maintain his guise as The Sovereign.
- Hercules ending up in a suggestive position on a statue after Nebula 2 pushes him across the room.
- Everyone else vacating the room the moment Nebula 2 breaks out her whip.
- Nebula 2 hissing at Iolaus 2 as she's escorted away by guards.
- Ares 2, observing Ares and Nebula 2 arguing, asking "Why can't we all get along?" as he sheds a Single Tear.
- Nebula 2's over-the-top grief after Ares informs her that the real Sovereign is dead, as well as Ares's disgusted assumption that she cares for "that clown." Followed by this:Nebula 2: No! I just thought I was gonna get lucky tonight!
- Hercules asks Ares 2 to distract the original Ares. Ares 2 tries to point out that he's a "lover, not a fighter." But when put on the spot, this inspires him to use his talent by getting Nebula 2 to fall for Ares...hard. It's safe to say that Ares is pretty distracted.
- As Nebula 2 and Ares start to get it on (complete with grunts and cat sounds), Ares 2's initial joy turns to revulsion and he turns away, saying "I can't bear to look"...but then glances back.
- Ares' reaction when he learns what his double has done.Ares: You! I owe you for this!
- Ares 2 yelping like a girl and teleporting away when Ares throws a vase at him.
- Hercules punching Ares and sending him flying in and out through various doors.
- Hercules commenting that Nebula 2 would look better in a jail cell.
5x14 - Just Passing Through
- (In a flashback) Hercules uses Iolaus as a barbell for exercise .
- Hercules tells Iolaus to do 500 sit-ups while he goes out for a morning jog. Iolaus instead goes back to sleep, but when he hears Hercules approaching, he wakes up and pretends to just have finished his sit-ups. Hercules, of course, doesn't buy it. Iolaus claims that he did dream about exercising.Hercules: And I am sure you're in tiptop condition...In your dreams.
- After Iolaus tries to amuse Hercules with a lame Hydra joke:
- Hercules ricochets a rock into the water (even predicts how it'll land in the water before throwing it). When it's Iolaus' turn, the rock bounces off a tree and hits him in the head.
- Hercules and Iolaus 2 arrives at Falafel's stand. Before Hercules could warn him about Falafel's food, Iolaus 2 eats some of it and immediately spits it out.Iolaus 2: In my world, Falafel is the Sovereign's chef. People come running from miles around to taste his food.Hercules: Well, here, they run for miles to avoid it.
- Neither Hercules or Iolaus have ever played a musical instrument before. When Iolaus attempts to play a lute he purchased for the first time, he plays it rather poorly. Hercules, however, played it flawlessly, having the lute sound like an electric guitar. Alas, this gets him chased by a mob of fan girls.
- The panther statue comes to life and starts attacking Hercules, Iolaus, and Autolycus. After noticing the panther liked the sound coming from the lute, Hercules performed a soft song (with Iolaus and Autolycus also singing) to soothe the panther. Unfortunately, a string on the lute quickly broke, causing Hercules to glare at Iolaus.Iolaus: What do you expect? I only paid two dinars for it.
5x15 - Greece is Burning
5x16 - We'll Always Have Cyprus
5x17 - The Academy
5x18 - Love on the Rocks
5x19 - Once Upon a Future King
5x20 - Fade Out
- How Hercules sees through Deimos's old man disguise.Deimos: How'd you know?
Hercules: Your annoying laugh.
[Deimos begins laughing uncontrollably]
Hercules: That wasn't a compliment!
5x21 - My Best Girl's Wedding
- After his dream of Iolaus, Hercules utters to himself, "No more stewed possum for me."
- After he has another vision of Iolaus, Herc goes, "Definitely no more stewed possum for me."
- Hercules's un-enthused response after Ares zaps in:Hercules: Oh, goody, now my day is complete.
- After Hercules announces his intentions to stop a brewing war and heads off, we get this reply from the God of War with all the sarcastic petulance of a recalcitrant teenager:Ares: Well, that's new.
- After the two armies start fighting, Ares appears in the midst of the hostilities and looks around at the soldiers in awe ("I had this battle scheduled for next week!") before proceeding to excitedly cheer them on. You'd think he was a high-school gym teacher egging students on.
- Hercules briefly suspecting Iolaus isn't Iolaus, and Iolaus's efforts to convince him he is the genuine article.
- Ares's gleeful entrance before Hercules and Iolaus.
- Ares asking Iolaus, "Aren't you dead?", followed by Iolaus feigning gasping in pain as Hercules suggests "Why don't you go be annoying someplace else?"
- The breakout of a war causes Ares so much joy that he blows up a cow for the fun of it.Hercules: (in the funniest "WTF?" tone of voice ever) That was a cow.
Ares: Udder destruction.
- Hercules says he has no time to bother with Ares because Michael is threatening to end the world.Ares: You're bluffing.
Hercules: Okay, I'm bluffing. See ya.
(Hercules and Iolaus begin walking off)
Iolaus: Boy, poor Ares. Have to work it out for himself.
Hercules: I guess so, but in a way, I envy him.
Iolaus: Envy him?
Hercules: Sure. I mean, ignorance is bliss.
Ares: I hate when they do that. (throws lightning into the sky and immediately gets hit with a dead bird)
- Hercules says he has no time to bother with Ares because Michael is threatening to end the world.
- This exchange:Hercules: War.Iolaus: What is it good for?Hercules: Absolutely nothing.
- As Ares goes about how he's going to get violent with whoever is "taking the food out of my soldiers' mouths":Iolaus: Where did you get all of this hostility?Hercules: He was born that way. It's sad, really.
- Hercules's completely unconcerned "Oh, boy" as Ares issues his A God Am I declaration.
- Thus says Ares after he and his henchmen pop in before Michael and two of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse:Ares: Boys, it's time to crack open a barrel of whoop-ass!
- Made better with Michael stoically staring back at the God of War before turning to the two Horsemen and calmly ordering them to destroy Ares and his boys.
- And the two Horsemen take down Ares's men in about less than a minute. Curb-Stomp Battle does not begin to describe it.
- Ares's expression as he looks down at what's left of his men, followed by their weapons pathetically clanging to the ground. Then he puts on a brave face and goes, "So that's how you wanna play it, huh?"
- Ares hurls an energy blast at War, who deflects it with his shield, resulting in Ares getting hit by his own blast and sent flying backwards. After he lands on the ground, he looks pitifully at War and goes "Et tu, War?"
- "KISS MY AX!"
- Followed by Michael simply catching said ax and Ares being sent flying a great distance away by the Horsemen's combined might.
- After Ares lands near Hercules and Iolaus, he remarks he's getting really angry...then collapses. Hercules gives a mild shrug.
- Iolaus acting as though he's a student caught doing something wrong by a schoolteacher as Michael calls him out for warning Hercules about the coming Reckoning.
- Ares's Grudging "Thank You" to Hercules.
6x02 - Love, Amazon Style
- As a Continuity Nod, Iolaus off-handedly asks Hercules if he knows what happened to Salmoneus. Herc quickly says "Yeah, he got arrested for tax fraud" and they go on with the episode.
6x03 - Rebel With a Cause
6x04 - Darkness Visible
6x05 - Hercules, Tramps & Thieves
- It turns out Salmoneus got into some other off-screen legal trouble. As Hercules says, "That massage parlor bust was a real drag."
6x06 - City of the Dead
- Iolaus spends the episode being a massive Egyptologist (as Hercules puts it). He repeatedly annoys Herc with various facts about Egypt.
6x07 - A Wicked Good Time
- The coven tries to get Iolaus out of the way with a spell making him hopelessly in love with Lilith. She's weirded out by his overtures and tries to keep her distance, which she interprets as cheating on him. He goes crazy with jealousy, but it's still played strictly for comedy.Iolaus: Herc, great, you're back. Break the door down, will ya? I gotta kill Lilith. She's cheating on me.
- They get rid of him by saying they've been planning a surprise party for him. Hercules suggests Iolaus go get some ice by going to the top of a nearby mountain. It's not until the very end that Hercules remembers this and sets out to find him. We then see Iolaus as the spell breaks: up an icy mountain and no clue how he got there.
6x08 - Full Circle
- Hercules and Iolaus find a village under attack by a rather goofy-looking monster conjured by Evander. The monster, at one point, breathes bubbles after it originally spewed flames.
- After Herc and Iolaus wake up to find Evander missing, Ares greets them by calling them "The two stooges."
- Herc and Iolaus's doomsday scenario conversation:Iolaus: Well, if you're so fed up with the gods, why don't we let them just destroy Olympus?Hercules: Remember my theory about the seasons?Iolaus: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The sun revolves around the Earth. What's that got to do with Olympus?Hercules: Well, Olympus is supported by a pillar that runs right into the center of the Earth. If Atlas manages to break the pillar, Olympus will come crashing down.Iolaus: So?Hercules: So if Olympus falls, it'll hit the ground with the force of a comet.Iolaus: A what?Hercules: A comet. I'll explain later. Olympus will knock the Earth right out of its orbit.Iolaus: Wait. So if the Earth gets knocked too close to the sun—Hercules: We'll fry.Iolaus: And if it goes too far—Hercules: We'll freeze.Iolaus: (beat) Why are you wasting time explaining this to me?! Come on! (heads off)
- Ares affectionately saying "I love you, Mom" after watching Hera do something.
- At the end, Ares appears to Hercules and Iolaus to gripe about Zeus and Hera getting back together.Ares: I hope you're happy! Because of you, Hera and Zeus are gonna get back together again!Hercules: And this upsets you. Unbelievable.Ares: Because everything I ever learned about hate and greed and envy and spite, I learned from Hera! (looks up at the sky) ARE THERE NO MORE HEROES?!
- Followed by Herc taunting Ares by telling him he still has him and Iolaus, followed by the two of them making absolutely goofy smiles, prompting the God of War to vomit in disgust.
- Ares then tries to threaten his demigod brother, only for Hercules and Iolaus to cut him off by mimicking him.Ares: You mark my words—Hercules: "You'll pay for this, Hercules."Iolaus: "We'll meet again, little brother."Hercules: "You're on my list, Hercules!"
- The whole thing ends with Ares heading off, sniffling, before he disappears.
- Then Herc notes "I think we hurt his feelings."
- Iolaus then reminds Hercules he said he'd retire after this adventure. Hercules shrugs and says "Well, I guess we're retired." The two then awkwardly sit on some rocks for a few seconds before Hercules asks if Iolaus wants to come out of retirement.
- Any scene where Salmoneus shows up, or even gets mentioned, can split your sides.