Cris: You see. They said I was a fraud. A charlatan. A nothing. But I...am a miracle.
He also creepily introduces you to passive mode, telling you that he likes to "watch" and that you are always welcome to join him in "the greatest pleasure on Earth."
The fact that the game will challenge you to do mundane things like use voice chat to either sing in the shower or scream on a rollercoaster to earn experience. This is bound to raise an eyebrow with other players or ellict some annoyed reactions, but that's probably the point.
Trevor's introduction to the Player character. Is he pissed that you're rampaging around Sandy Shores, murdering his client base left and right? Nope. Is he pissed that you may or may not have crashed a vehicle into and/or shot up his trailer on a whim? Nuh-uh. Is he pissed that you're building a weapons/drug smuggling empire practically in his backyard and potentially edging T.P.I. out of business? Not even a little. No, what he's pissed about is the fact that you began all this misadventures...and didn't even have the common courtesy to say hi to him in the process.
Once again, a female Player character gets an extra funny bit of dialogue — Trevor's annoyance with her becomes less about not contacting him, and more about the fact she didn't send him a picture of her breasts as a greeting.
In Prison Break, the online player pushes the other player out of the prison bus and then pushes him/her again once he/she's out of it, making him/her turn around and give a "What the hell, man?" look.
All cutscenes where Trevor appears. Even the Online player characters, who are known for not having any emotions, fear him during them.
If you play on the team that has to steal the Casco in the Prison Break setup, Station, prepare to have a quick chuckle on your online character getting all cheery on seeing the luxury car. What makes it funny is how he/she shows no emotion for a large chunk of the game and seeing him/her get all excited like that is quite surprising. Even more so considering the player that is driving will gleefully jump and slide across the hood to get to the driver's seat.
Some of the post-mission cutscenes in Online occasionally have the employer reacting to the player with awkward silence. Trevor, however...
(Trevor walks out of his trailer to check on the player's delivered vehicle) Trevor: Yeah, just leave it there... (The player looks back at the vehicle, then back at Trevor) Trevor: God, and I thought I was weird!
This also happens sometimes when completing a mission for Ron:
Trevor: Ron, go out and talk to that creepy friend of yours that doesn't speak!
The aftermath of the "Series A" heist. All has gone well, you've gotten paid and left Trevor to his own devices...and he promptly gets busted by the feds, being forced to ditch all his ill-gotten product and swim for his life. We pick up later with him banging his head bloody against a tree and weeping like a lunatic. With an oddly fitting action figure of Impotent Rage next to him.
Lamar's meaningless speech about "breaking eggs" and eggs in general in the aftermath of "Funeral Party", leaving all four members of the job absolutely confused in their attempts to understand the significance of his speech.
The fact that there's an update called Cunning Stunts...in a GTA game laden with innuendo and double entendres left and right, one can't help but switch the first letters of the two sentences with eachother for an entirely new meaning.
The Cheburek has visual modification options that installs bodykits made out of cardboard into the vehicle. The kicker? Compared to the hefty prices of other visual modifications, these are all cost $100 each.
The Gunrunning update recreates the hilarious "three-point turn" scene from Austin Powers as Agent 14 is trying to navigate through the corridors of the bunker the player just bought.
One subset of decorations available for purchase in the Master Penthouse is a bust of a bald man, with the left half seemingly splitting apart into cubes. Each Palette Swap of this bust is named "Uhh", "Ehh" and "Hmm".
Some of the art you can purchase for your penthouse are genuinely funny. For example, a dabbing statue.
The contact missions that come from owning a penthouse in the "Diamond Casino & Resort" plotline are full of these:
Tao Cheng literally comes flying in like a plane, true to form, and his first words to the player?
"I'm totally fucked like a melon!"
The player having a completely blank look as Tao goes up to hug them for buying the Penthouse.
Tao's translator tries to play off Tao's high as stress, and Agatha isn't having any of it.
Tao Cheng and his translator training with Brucie Kibbutz to prepare to fight the Duggans beginning in the Diamond Casino & Resort plotline's mission, "Play to Win"; needless to say, the training is quite useless and it's just shameless self-promotion on Kibbutz' part and Agatha is just left astounded and unamused.
To make it even funnier, Tao's translator is in his underwear the entire time.
The entire Diamond Casino Heist, which is a sequel to the Diamond Casino & Resort update, has a couple of these:
The heist itself is funny in an ironic way; you pay millions to buy a penthouse that the owners are desperate to sell off, only to have that casino sold off to the Duggans in the previous update...and now you're robbing that same casino, as if you're practically reimbursing yourself while still owning that same penthouse.
Keep in mind that this is before Cayo Perico was released, so Thornton Duggan was essentially a Butt-Monkey for robbers before El Rubio.
There is a prep mission where you have to loot a keycard from a dead valet whose body is at the morgue, and Lester tells you that valets always have accidents. On it's own, it may seem a bit morbid... Until you realize that you have probably killed the valet at the door at least once, and may very well be a serial valet killer, which is a fine example of Leaning on the Fourth Wall.
Related to the valet, one can see a poster inside the Casino during the heist that holds a "fundraiser" for the valet (who is named Felipe). Seems Rockstar knows all too well about the players' sociopathic tendencies towards that poor valet.
Another Casino NPC that might be up there with the valet in terms on terrible fates falling on them is the vault guard. When you enter the vault using the Gruppe Sechs disguise without alerting the guards in Big Con, he gets knocked out by one of your team, and when you are leaving, you overhear that his coworkers placed a laxative in his coffee.
The reveal by Ron in the intro to the "Smuggler's Run" Arc that after the events of the main game, Trevor reformed and has become a life-style coach. Trevor.
Players can apply itasha-themed liveries depicting either Princess Robot Bubblegum or Shiny Wasabi Kitty on select few vehicles. These vehicles range from tuner cars such as the Sultan RS and the Futo, somewhat unusual cars like the Scramjet, and of all things, the Volatol, a delta-wing strategic bomber jet. Yes, you can apply a livery decipting a scantily-clad anime woman into a massive bomber jet.
Also in the San Andreas Mercenaries introduces the F-160 Raiju, an stealth fighter jet that can also can apply itasha-themed liveries to it.
One of the new Open Wheel tracks introduced in the Los Santos Summer Special is "Morningwood Glory". Appropriately enough, the track itself vaguely resembles a penis.
Pavel's dialogues when residing inside the Kosatka or scoping out Cayo Perico can bring a chuckle or two for players who are busy setting up the heist. One quote in partcular is a wall-leaningjab to the infamous Oppressor Mk2 griefers running rampant on public lobbies.
Pavel: Have you ever tried shooting the missiles at the people on the flying bikes? Great sport here in America.
Many of Pavel's anecdotes are rife with out-of-context Noodle Incidents one can wonder how did he do to get into the mess. And as well as with his (fictional) Russian sayings.
Pavel: As we say in Russia, you can be accurate, or you can shit your pants. Not both.
One of the approaches the player can take to get inside El Rubio's compound is to get the passcode for one of the side doors...the cutscene shows the player punching in the code, getting rejected, and then finally hitting the keypad out of visible frustration which makes it work and unlock the side door.
The cutscene that plays when completing the Cayo Perico heist for the first time sees the player giving the stolen files from El Rubio back to Miguel Madrazo. However, upon inspection of the files, a horrified Miguel throws them into a nearby fire. It may seem like a "Shaggy Dog" Story because all the effort took into retrieving the files may felt anticlimatic, but the final shot of the cutscene reveals that those files are actually a photo of Trevor and Patricia together, both in the nude, giving the entire heist one hell of a Twist Ending.
El Rubio:[after being robbed more than once]What the fuck is this!? Is there a fuckin' welcome sign over my vault? Find the fucking thief!
The fact that Sessanta is in a relationship with DJ Moodyman of all people; the fact that they're introduced getting ready to make out in the player's autoshop and they interrupt them really just shows how corny but amusing the entire in-game romance is.
In the Drug Recipes contract in the Los Santos Tuners update, a confused Moodyman remarks upon Patricia's doting nature as a host and genuinely wonders if she's okay or not.
DJ Moodyman:She trying to make me lemonade, and shit. I think she fucked up.
Franklin and Lamar notice Chop acting strange and unresponsive in front of them. Tension builds up as both of them worry that he might be dying of old age already, until Mood Whiplash happens when Lamar finds out that Chop just got high from eating their weed. Doubly hilarious with Franklin's line being "What the fuck did I tell you about eating weed?", implying that this wasn't even the first time it happened, and Chop being carried out by his legs afterward.
For the Online portion of the game, during the month of September of 2022, there was a soda wars in-game between eCola (the game's version of Coca-Cola) and Sprunk (the game's version of Sprite). However, due to someone looking at the in-game texture for an eCola can, it's revealed that Sprunk owns the eCola, meaning that the in-game "soda war" was manufactured and the soda company just played the Online players.
For Nightclub owners, the Criminal Enterprises now allows you to toss out unruly guests who are either too aggressive, too drunk, or too nosy for their own good. A cutscene with Marcel and the player follows tossing out the customer followed with a yelp from the ejectee after hitting the ground. It's almost like GTA's homage to a certain show where someone's always getting tossed out the door.
Anytime the Fooliganz shout their gang's warcry.
Budonkadonk!
The mission "Uncontrolled Substance" from the Los Santos Drug Wars. It starts off as what appears to be a fun little beer party to initiate the player...only, it was actually acid they drank, and it goes all downhill from there. Remember the trip Michael had when Jimmy drugged his drink? Exactly like it. From an Interface Screw, to a visit to the afterlife of the Epsilonists (which hasn't been seen since the first time the player inevitably died)...it's definetly an unforgettable experience. Instead of the normal "Mission: Passed" scene, you get "Trip: Survived".
The mission "This is an Intervention" has Labrat taking a lot of acid and warning the player to not move or they will die. Dax notices Labrat is still out there and is more annoyed than scared, getting a rocket launcher and threatening to blow him up if he doesn't move, which Labrat does after Dax fires the rocket launcher. Luchadora hears this and gets annoyed as well, implying this wasn't the first time an RPG was used indoors.
He later tries to stop Friedlander's guards from abducting Labrat by firing the RPG at their SUV, with Labrat inside.
"BDKD" has you flying and crashing into the cargo hold of a plane to stop Friedlander, and this time your character presses the button to close the hold.
After completing BDKD, your character partied with the Fooligans and wakes up naked on top of Mount Chiliad.
If you are feeling a little dickish, try flying an Oppressor Mk. II near a lower-level player who is trying to do a business delivery. The sheer terror of it will often make the other player crash their vehicle left and right trying to get away from you, even if you have no intention of actually griefing them.
, he shows up with a rose, asks for sex, and fumbles around trying to talk her into a relationship. Fem!Player is clearly unamused.