Funny / Goof Troop

A cartoon with Goofy as the main character is GUARANTEED to have several hilarious moments.

Episodes 1 - 26

• Most moments with Goofy end up being these.
  • Lampshading Gravity Is a Harsh Mistress in "All the Goof That's Fit to Print": "This wouldn't be a problem if it weren't for gravity."
  • Any time he tries to read a manual or follow some sort of instructions.
  • Comically Missing the Point or being Too Dumb to Fool when talking to Pete.
• In the pilot episode once Goofy and Max's house is finished^note They were staying at Pete's house temporarily..:
  Pete: This is the way we dump the Goofs, dump the Goofs, dump the Goofs! This is the way we dump the Goofs, da-da da-da da-da da!
  • From the same episode, Pete's meltdown when he discovers a scratch in his boat, which ends with him screaming very loudly with an astronomic zoom-out from the neighborhood out to space.
• In "Axed By Addition", this line is said to Pete after he drove on the sidewalk: "Hold it, bub! I'm giving you a ticket for jaydriving."
  • The scene where Pete, mistakenly thinking P.J. is really sick, realized he's a bad father and tells about all the things he did to P.J. to a man in the hospital from mundane to incredibly ridiculous. The man is visibly creeped out by all this. What makes this even funnier is that Pete acts like the ridiculously mundane things are the most heinous crimes of all.
    Pete: I even made him use a handkerchief!
  • The scene where Max rigs P.J. up to a machine that force-feeds him brownies if he gets a math question right but throws eggs in his face if he guesses incorrectly ("Get it wrong and the yolk's on you!"). The next morning, Pete asks P.J. if he wants chocolate for breakfast and P.J. freaks out, clawing at the walls to try to get away.
• "You Camp Take It with You" has this line from Peg when Chainsaw tries to eat an entire steak: "Peter, that's much too big a bite for puppy."
  • For the bulk of the episode, Max and PJ are dragged along on a trip into the wilderness with their fathers - Goofy and Pete, two cartoon characters who, throughout their various incarnations, have always been lightning rods for Amusing Injuries. It's every bit as chaotic as you would expect it to be. The two families have a race to the campgrounds, where Goofy actually puts Max in charge of driving so he can prevent them from losing their camper. Goofy trying to collect some firewood goes horribly wrong, thanks to his short-sightedness, and he winds up being flattened by a huge boulder. There’s also a running gag where various accidents keep forcing Pete to jump off a cliff into a river. Max and PJ stand awkwardly to the side the whole time, watching their parents repeatedly hurt themselves.
    Pete: (chuckles) I guess I showed those wasps I knew how to handle them.
    PJ: You did?
  • When Goofy and Pete come to the conclusion that their sons have been kidnapped by bears, their first reaction is to completely freak out - shaking each other wildly and babbling complete nonsense in fear - before Pete decides that they need to arm themselves with guns. Lots and lots of guns. Luckily, he brought an oversized arsenal with him. Pete is just about to grab some ammo, so they can storm the forest and find the boys, when Goofy causes a bear trap to snap shut on his backside, at which point Pete runs around screaming and tramples Goofy onto the ground. Pete nearly runs off the cliff again, but Goofy manages to catch him in time. Pete thanks him, and then Goofy immediately lets him drop so he can accept his gratitude.
  • After taking the brunt of Goofy-related slapstick for about the dozenth time in one episode, Pete finally gets fed up with it and decides to use Goofy as the live-bait in his bear trap. While the bear is busy chasing down Pete (who's just as big of a bumbler as Goofy, by the way), Goofy tries to wiggle himself loose, only to fall right down into the bear trap. What follows is one of the most high-pitched examples of his famous Goofy holler that you'll find in the series, as he shoots a couple dozen feet into the air.
• Pete becomes a laugh riot in "Close Encounters of The Weird Mime", such as when he mistakes a news crew for alien invaders, so he fires a flare gun at them while shouting "Take this, Mr. Spock!!".
  • The second time he fires at them the flare bounces off the sattellite dish and back at him, causing him to run back to the house shouting "Death rays!! DEATH RAYS!!".
  • Not to mention Goofy's antics as the titular "Weird Mime".
• In "O, R-V, I N-V U", Pete, along with Goofy, Max, and his family, are about to ride off to Las Vegas in his new RV to enter it in a contest. However, there are a few delays.
  Pete: Head'em up, move 'em out!
  (Pete blows the horn)
  Everyone: Yaay! Whoo!
  (The RV drives off, but seconds later, it returns. Peg runs into her house, then returns, carrying her purse.)
  Peg: Forgot it. Sorry.
  Pete: Okay, here we go!
  Everyone: Yaay!
  (The RV drives off, but quickly returns again. This time, PJ runs into his house and returns.)
  PJ: (carrying papers) Sorry.
  Pete: (less enthusiastic) Here we go.
  Everyone: Yaay!
  (The RV drives off, but returns again. This time, Goofy runs into his house.)
  Goofy: (returns) Left the cat in the dryer! Ah-hyuck!
  Pete: (angrily) Here... we... go!
  Everyone: (less cheery) Yay. Yay.
  (The RV drives off, but returns again. This time, Pistol runs into her house to use the bathroom, then she returns.)
  Pistol: All set!
  Pete: THAT'S IT, YA HEAR?! WE AREN'T STOPPING AGAIN FOR ANTHING, SEE?!!
  (The RV drives off, but suddenly gets a flat tire.)
  Pete: (facepalms frustratedly) Oooooh!
• In "Slightly Dinghy", Max's attempt to sweet-talk PJ around to his latest dodgy plan leads to this exchange:
  Max: Aw, Peej. Fishing with your dad. What could be more fun?
  PJ: Eating glass.
  • At one point, Max fakes a fight between himself and PJ as a distraction to get both of their fathers arguing.
    Max: (pouring on the waterworks) Is not! Dad, PJ said Pete’s a better fisherman than you!
    Pete: (frowns at Goofy) Say, what do you mean, letting your kid hit my kid just for telling the truth about your lame self?!
  • Throughout the episode, Max's obsession with unearthing buried treasure is maintained as a running gag long enough that it Crosses the Line Twice. Even when the gang is sailing through a fierce storm, or dangling off a precarious perch towards their doom, or being chased by what they think is a man-eating shark, Max is still single-mindedly focused on reeling in his pirate booty (to PJ's horror). He really, really wanted that money.
  • Not one to be outdone, Pete actually runs inside the shark's mouth to try to get the chest, hoping he can use the money to replace the fishing boat he lost.
  • Once he's done with the adults, the episode's antagonist turns his attention towards the kids. Max and PJ's screaming, bugged-eyed expressions when the mechanical shark starts speeding towards them are priceless.
• In "Cabana Fever," Pete is asleep only to wake up by Goofy touching him.
  Pete: What are you doing?!
  Goofy: Trimming your toe nails!
  Pete: [beat] Why on earth would you be TRIMMING MY TOE NAILS?
  Goofy: 'Cause I was done cutting your hair!
• In "Where's Smoke, There's Goof", Pete calls Max and PJ over to teach them how to grill a barbecue. PJ points out that he's putting way too much charcoal on the grill, but Pete insists that it will be fine. Then Pete gets distracted talking to some visiting firemen and PJ tries to warn him that the grill is getting seriously overheated, but his dad once again gives him the brush-off. At which point, PJ wisely decides to stop wasting his time, grabs Max and gets out of Dodge before the boys can be blown up.
  • And when it does...
    Fire Chief: Call the fire department!
    Pete: You ARE the fire department!
  • Now that they're honorary firemen, Goofy insists that he and Max stop and rescue a window-washer who is not in danger in any way - and then this happens:
    Goofy: (from down below) Hang on, buddy! We'll be right with you!
    Window washer: Huh? What’s that dude doing?
    Goofy: (holding out a trampoline) Okay mister, you can jump now!
    Max: Pop, I really don't think he wants to jump.
    Goofy: Hey, you up there! We have to get to a fire!
    Window washer: (misunderstanding) A FIRE?! BOMB’S AWAY!
    He dives off his platform and free-falls towards the Goofs.
    Goofy: He's jumping! Get under him, Maxy!
    The man bounces off their trampoline, straight into an open manhole.
    Window washer: GNARLY! (a loud splash follows as he lands in the sewers)
    Goofy: Don't worry about thanking us! We've got to get on our way!
  • While his building is going up in flames around him, Mr. Huge tries to comfort his pet goldfish that he refuses to abandon.
    Mr. Huge: Don't worry, Atlas! You're safe as long as I'm around! (he glances at the flames licking at a nearby window and whimpers) But don't start any long term projects!
  • Everything about Goofy and Max bumbling their way through the climax. At one point, in a desperate attempt to save his father, Max drives their fire engine inside Mr. Huge's building, up a staircase and straight through the roof to catch Goofy. They keep sailing up for another few minutes, until gravity finally takes hold on them and the fire engine comes crashing back down into the building.
• In "Hot Air", Max straps himself to a kite and has PJ fly it across the yard so he can experience flying, which quickly starts to go wrong.
  Max: Attaboy, Peej! Up! Up!
  Max gasps when he sees the tree coming up dead ahead.
  Max: (screaming) UP, PJ!!! UP!!! UP!!!
  • At his used car lot, Pete has a series of mishaps filming his new commercial.
    Pete: Friends, if you're fishing for a bargain, I guarantee that if you come down to buy an RV from old Pete, I'll eat a slug to make you a deal for a new home on wheels! Mmm, yummy.
    Director: Cut! That's a print.
    Pete: (guffaws) Ha, those suckers at home think I'm eating real slugs.
    Director: But Pete, those are real slugs.
    Pete gags and quickly runs to guzzle down as much water from a jug as possible.
    Pete: (belches and tosses the jug aside) I love show business.
  • Pete tries to incorporate a bunch of different animals into his commercial, all of which turn against him. Things come to a head when Pete lets his director talk him into doing a risky stunt where he’s tied to a plane, with a surprise pilot.
    Pete: Say, this isn't dangerous, is it?
    Director: (grinning) You'll be fine. Coco's a great pilot!
    Pete: (alarmed) Coco?! THE GORILLA IS GONNA FLY THE PLANE?!
    Director: Don't worry. He hasn't crashed one in days.
    Pete: (disturbed) Days?!
    Director: Take it away, banana breath!
    Pete screams out in fear as he's dragged into the sky.
  • Meanwhile, Goofy and Max are plummeting towards the earth in a hot air balloon that's just been deflated, and Max is understandably freaking out.
    Goofy: Max, what's happening?! Where are we going?!
    Max: (panicking) DOWN!!! DOWN!!! WE'RE GOING DOWN!!!
  • As soon as the plane stunt starts to go wrong because of Goofy and Max dropping in, Coco bails out of the plane with a parachute and leaves Pete hanging.
    Pete: Where’s he going?!! Is this in the script?!!
  • Pete is shocked when Pistol suddenly appears to save the day.
    Pete: Pistol, what are you doing?! Little bitsy girls can't fly!
    Pistol: (laughs) Oh, don't be so silly, daddy. I'm not flying, I'm landing.
    Pete: Oh, landing. Well that's different. (he blinks) LANDING?!
    Goofy and Pete scream their heads off as they race towards the ground.
  • When it's all over, Pete is not happy in the slightest when his director gives him one last surprise.
    Director: (exuberantly) Stupendous! Colossal! Brilliant! It'll be the greatest commercial ever made!
    Pete: (grins) Well, at least my commercial's gonna clean up.
    Director: Now, enough rehearsing! Let's do a take with the camera running!
    Pete: That's a good—(furiously) What?!!! Rehearsal?!!! Why you little- I'm gonna punch you so hard your mama’s gonna get a black eye! Come here, you! Get back here! (he gives chase to the terrified man, making him run for the hills)
• In "Take Me Out Of The Ball Game", Max and PJ are pressured into learning how to play baseball by their fathers, who are projecting their old childhood issues onto them way too much. The boys try to get out of it by faking some muscle injuries, which backfires horribly when Goofy and Pete promise to get them back into good health. The cut to the next scene reveals the two dads practically torturing these poor boys. Pete is giving PJ a massage that’s way too rough for an eleven year old, kneading him like dough, while Goofy has Max hooked up to some sort of contraption that makes Max’s body bend in ways that it was never designed to. The kids hightail it out of that as fast as they can.
  • Peg calls Goofy and Pete out on being too suffocating - having become incredibly anxious and overly doting at the peak of their madness - so she forces them to stay home and give their sons some space. As they watch the boys leave, the two dads start to get emotional about how quickly Max and PJ are growing up and utter one of the most silly, self-absorbed lines you’ll find in this series together.
    Pete: Aw, just think, our boys!
    Goofy: In our uniforms!
    Pete: Trying out for our old team!
    The two men hug each other and start bawling together uncontrollably.
  • In the climatic ball game, Goofy and Pete decide their boys can’t play because they’ve hit a bad slump (still unaware that they never even made the team because of how terrible they were), so they decide to put on their uniforms and play for them on the field. The second-hand cringe of two men in their forties competing against a bunch of middle-schoolers is palpable, both in-universe and for the audience. The fact that Goofy and Pete are still just as terrible at playing ball as they were thirty years ago (which is what finally tips the coach off to their identities) is just the icing on the cringe cake.
  • At the end of the day, Goofy and Pete have learned nothing from this experience, as usual, and are already planning to push their kids to get into football. Max and PJ actually break the fourth wall to get out of Dodge as fast as they can, before their crazy parents can put them through another ordeal.
• A scene from "Wrecks, Lies and Videotape" parodying A Christmas Carol where Goofy shows Pete that in the future, Max will take over his business, become a Corrupt Corporate Executive like him and treat Peg like a slave, paying her 3 cents an hour. Pete is outraged because that's two less cents than he usually pays his own mother!
• In "Leader Of The Pack", Max and PJ are banned from eating at their favorite burger joint by bullying Greaser Delinquents, and PJ tries to help Max feel better about it.
  PJ: Come on, man, there are other burgers to conquer.
  Max: (glumly) Yeah, I guess.
  PJ: (grinning) Of course, none so 'melt-in-your-mouth' juicy. None so rich with double-thick cheese. None so-
  Max: (crossly) Put a cork in it, PJ.
  • Later, Max is very grumpy when he's told his cousin Debbie will be coming to visit.
    Max: No, it's not bad enough I got to be a dweeb, now I've gotta give my room to one!
    PJ: Um, do I get the feeling you don't dig this babe?
    Max: Bingo, big boy. Check it out. (he fishes out an old photo)
    PJ: Let me see that, it can't- Whoa! Oh, man, ew! That's your cousin Debbie?!
    Max: You got it, and you can have it.
    PJ: Who's the little dweeb?
    Max: (flatly) That's me, PJ.
    PJ: Oh, sorry, man.
  • When Max decides to recruit Debbie as part of his plan to get some burgers, he winds up hitting PJ in the face with a door, which leaves his feline friend feeling quite dazed when he steps forward to greet Debbie.
    Max: Oh, where are my manners? Heh, Deb, this is my buddy, PJ. Peej, Debbie.
    Debbie: PJ.
    PJ: (squinting) Dweebie. Funny, you don't look like you're into torture.
  • The Duke, being a complete creep, has no problem ditching his current girlfriend to try to harass Debbie - by ejecting her out of his car into a dumpster. When the Duke himself is ejected out of his car into the same dumpster, his ex-girlfriend doesn't waste any time getting her revenge by shoving a tray full of burgers into his face.
  • The Duke, desperate to impress Debbie, lets Max talk him into wearing all sorts of ridiculous clothes - including oversized baby's clothes. And when Max and the Duke have their skateboard race for rights to the Pharaohs' turf later, for whatever reason, the Duke is still wearing them. There was nothing in their agreement that said he couldn’t change back into his usual clothes, but he just chose not to because... reasons.
  • When Max emerges victorious in their race, he promises to treat everyone in the burger joint, only to realize he doesn't have enough money for that - so he decides to dish out a little more karma.
    Max: Pharaohs, your leader's here! Double Behemoths for everybody, on—! (he pauses and counts his pocket change) One, two, three, four- Them!
    Max points at the Duke’s flunkies, who look at each other with dread among the cheering crowd.
• "Inspector Goofy": Any scene where Pete's training of Goofy as inspector backfires, who writes countless tickets. In one scene, he inspects Pete's bedroom:
  Goofy: Not enough stripes on your pinstripe suit! (...) This here part of the bed doesn't have enough spring in the box spring! (...) Not enough holes in your Swiss cheese! Too many holes in your belt! Well Petey, looks like you're violating every code in the book, and then some.
  • Culminates with Goofy giving tickets to the mayor and shutting down city hall:
    Goofy: Operating a camera in a month with an "R" in it, huh? Not enough towels in the washroom! Chewing gum under the chair! Too much waiting in the waiting room! No seal on the state seal! Too many digits in 911! Yep, looks like I'm gonna have to shut down city hall.
  • P.J. offers to sell Pistol to the circus to get money. Pete initially objects, but then reconsiders: "How much money are we talkin'?"
• In "Shake, Rattle & Goof", Max and PJ decide to live out their dreams of becoming rock stars and film a music video that is filled to the brim with Stylistic Suck. Highlights include PJ scatting away until he accidentally backs up into a pool, or PJ using a hairdryer to blow wind through Max's hair, which Goofy catches on film when he decides to pan out.
  • Later on, the boys decide to go on tour as 'The Goof Troop', with Pete as their manager and Goofy as their roadie. However, they have to contend with their record producer, a man who can actually give Pete competition when it comes to being money-hungry, who exploits them for every penny they have. When they spend the night in a shady, rundown motel, Max and PJ try to make small talk and convince themselves that they're having a fun time, while simultaneously admitting that they wouldn't mind having some sheets on their empty beds. What makes this awkward predicament even funnier is the immediate reveal that Goofy and Pete had exactly one blanket between them on their own bed, and neither one of their parents felt inclined to share. The following morning, Max presses their producer for some answers and he gets a rather stark reply.
    Max: Colonel, why are we staying at a hotel when we’re only four blocks from home?
    Colonel: Well, I can’t make any money if you live at home.
    Max: Wut?
  • By the end of the second act, when the supposed glitz and glamour of show business has worn off remarkably fast, most of the gang collectively agree that this tour was a horrible mistake - except for Goofy, who's loving every minute of it.
    Goofy: Rock and roll forever!
    Max, Pete and PJ: (flatly and miserably) Rock and roll forever...
    Max: (moaning) We have to get out of this.
  • Thanks to an untimely case of stage fright, Max and PJ wind up trapped inside a magician's trunk just before they're due to perform in front of hundreds of people, and only a few minutes later, they discover that if they don't perform and turn a profit, the Colonel will actually foreclose on their houses. So with time running out and tensions running high, Max starts to get testy.
    PJ: Max, you know we've got to do this concert! Our dads need us!
    Max: I know, I know! But how do we get out of these things?!
    PJ: I don’t think we're supposed to get in them in the first place!
    Max: (crossly) If you're not gonna say something helpful, PJ, THEN KEEP IT BUTTONED!
  • By the episode's coda, most of the Goof Troop gang is relieved that their ordeal is finally over and that they've managed to get out from under the Colonel's thumb - except for Goofy. Goofy admits that he hasn't had enough of the spotlight yet and that he'd like to go back and sign a new deal as a solo act - becoming a super flamboyant, one-man band. Pete, Max and PJ have a "No. Just… No" Reaction to that idea: they share a knowing look, smirk, and then haul Goofy away from the premises by force, ignoring all his protests.
• In "Terminal Pete", the titular feline has this to say about his prospects:
  Pete: You know, Goof, it's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't wanna be there when it happens.
  • At home, Pete decides to vent to himself and the audience about his predicament.
    Pete: Nipped in the bud, that's where life's nipped me - right in the bud! What's the world gonna do without sweet, amiable me?
    Chainsaw leaps onto his leg.
    Pete: (annoyed) Beat it, ya mutt! Can't you see I'm being profound!
    Chainsaw quickly scampers off.
    Pete: (grumbling) That dumb dog really got my gopher beating that time. Now, where was I? Oh yes. Sweet and amiable me. Loved by one and all for my funny disposition!
  • Peg lets Pete use her vacuum cleaner when he volunteers to tidy the house for her, and immediately regrets it when he lets it get out of control and winds up sucking up all the furniture in the living room.
    Peg: (with faux sweetness) Thank you so much for your help, dear.
    Pete: (grinning nervously) You’re welcome, pumpkin-fish.
    Peg: Now, why don’t you go help someone else? IN AUSTRALIA!!!
  • While Pete is trying to get his affairs in order, he decides to give all his power tools away to Goofy so he can put them to good use, and piles them all in Goofy's arms at once.
    Goofy: (touched) Garwsh, Pete, I don’t know what to say.
    Pete: Oh, think nothing of it, neighbor. All I ask is that you love them like I did.
    Goofy: (tearfully) I'll love em like they was family-
    Goofy immediately trips over a stray wire and drops every last one of them on the floor with a loud crash.
    Pete: (sighs) If I wasn't gonna die, he would be.
  • Later, Goofy and Pete decide to have a heart-to-heart talk about Pete's near future.
    Goofy: I think you should tell 'em, Petey.
    Pete: Naw, just a lot of sloppy goodbyes that way. It's time to go seek my density while I'm still kicking.
    Goofy: (surprised) Your density, garwsh.
    Pete: Ever since I was a little spud, I always wanted to be a Hollywood stuntman, but I was too scared- I mean, smart to try it. But now's my chance to do something spiffy with what I've got left.
    Goofy: (chuckles) Yeah, you ran out of good smarts a long time ago.
    Pete: (smiles) Thanks, Goof.
• In "Waste Makes Haste", the Goofs and the Petes once again have a family feud over which of them can collect the most garbage to recycle: resulting in them having a drag race in the middle of town, fighting over garbage cans like wild animals, and tossing trash back and forth across the fence dividing their yards. Compared to other episodes of this nature, Max and PJ do at least seem to be enjoying themselves, and are eagerly cheering their fathers' manchild antics on the entire time.
  Max: Attaboy, pop! Right out of the park!
  PJ: Come on, dad! Strike this bum-! Uh, Mr. G, sir, out!
  • This twisted little father-daughter exchange, when a visitor knocks on the Pete family’s door late in the evening:
    Pete: (standing up) Close your ears, my little bottle brush, daddy’s gonna yell.
    Pistol: (grins excitedly) Oh goody!
  • During a ceasefire the following morning, this exchange happens between the Goofs and the Petes:
    Pete: Well, I want to apologize for being so greedy, and mean, and, well, y'know...
    PJ (to Max): He says he's sorry!
    Max (to Goofy): He says he's sorry for being himself, pop!
  • At the episode’s end, it’s PJ (who knows his father better than anyone) who catches Pete’s little slip of the tongue, bragging to himself about all the reward money he’ll be getting soon. Max is not happy to discover Pete had been holding out on them all day, Goofy is blissfully oblivious as usual, and PJ is completely furious, glaring daggers at the camera (i.e. Pete) the whole time. It's quite an assortment of reactions in one shot.

Episodes 27 - 52

• In "Hallow-Weenies", Pete drags Max, PJ and Goofy down to Spoonerville's local haunted house, to prove to them that ghosts aren't real.
  Goofy: Gosh, the place looks haunted to me!
  Pete: (frowns) Stifle it, Goof.
  Goofy: Well, it could be.
  Pete: Okay, you jellyfish, we’re gonna put your ghost story to bed.
  PJ: (trepidatiously) Uh, why don’t you check it out, dad? Okay, we'll, um, we'll...
  Max: Stand guard outside!
  Pete: (smirks sarcastically) Good idea! Me and Goof will give the place the once over while you "protect us".
  • Later, Max and PJ start to panic when their parents predictably bite off more than they can chew.
    Max: We’ve gotta save ‘em, Peej!
    PJ: (terrified) Why?!
    Max frowns at him disapprovingly.
    PJ: ...Okay.
  • During the climax, Max and PJ try to lure a ghost out of a mounted moose head, so they can spring their trap.
    Max: (enticingly) Say 'Ahh', and you'll get a lollipop!
    The Ghost: (pokes his head out excitedly) Grape or cherry?
    Max and PJ immediately suck him up inside a vacuum cleaner.
  • The ghosts subject Goofy and Pete to endless slapstick to amuse themselves on Halloween, but Pete gets it slightly worse than Goofy - partly because he was the biggest non-believer, and partly because he's The Chew Toy of the series. When Max and PJ capture them, Pete doesn't waste any time trying to kick them off the premises, only to discover they literally can't leave. It turns out the ghosts were musicians who died in the house before they could perform a gig, and their unfinished business is keeping them from moving on. The kids come up with the idea of having them perform for an audience now and the ghosts agree to it, except they would need permission from the building's owner first. To Pete's utter horror, he realizes that would be him. In the following scene, Pete can barely contain how much he can't stand them all - speaking in a flat, clipped monotone the whole time - but he does what he has to to get rid of them.
  • At one point, the ghosts dress Goofy and Pete as ballerinas.
    Max and PJ: How...embarrassing.
  • After that, Pete and the ghosts are playing cards. One ghost declares "Old Maid!" and Pete gets dressed as an old woman.
    Pete: Lousy card games!
• At the start of "Major Goof", Max and PJ are having a water gun fight with PJ's uncle Bob, learning military tactics, when the general decides to use Pete as cover. The boys immediately start spraying Pete in the face with water, before the general pulls the rug out from under Pete, PJ and Max. Pete tries to give them all a scolding, but he never has a chance to among the chaos.
  • Meanwhile, Goofy tries to fix the plumbing in his kitchen sink, with the show's narrator guiding him through it, and as you would expect, it quickly turns into a disaster.
    Goofy: (laughs) This is a cinch!
    The whole kitchen starts to shake and rumble, like an earthquake is coming.
    Goofy: (gulps) Uh-oh.
    Narrator: But whatever you do, don't forget to shut off the water!
    Goofy screams his head off in fear as the whole kitchen starts to flood with water.
  • When the general takes Max, PJ and Goofy along on his 'top secret mission', he has this chat with the boys.
    Max: Exactly where are we going?
    PJ: (grins excitedly) Yeah, and what are we gonna do?
    Bob: I can't tell you that now. Suffice to say, the world will be a better place when we're through.
    Max: (his eyes lighting up) Radical! We're gonna hug trees!
    PJ: (his grins widens) Cool!
  • When the general takes them all to a military base, Goofy is put through rigorous army training, and we're given a montage of Goofy trying and failing to pass all his tests - including the lanky canine trying to get a running start so he can swing over a narrow but deep canyon with a rope. Unfortunately for him, the rope hasn't been tied properly, so Goofy winds up screaming at the top of his lungs as he plunges down into the canyon and lands face-first on the ground.
  • Goofy and PJ's savage streaks show up again when Pete decides to come forward about his weekly deception.
    Max: What's your dad talking about?
    PJ: (shrugs) Hey, I'm his kid, not his interpreter.
    Pete: Well, I'll tell you what I'm talking about. Peg wanted me to make old General Over-The-Hill here feel useful, and it was driving me nutso, see!
    Goofy: (glances at the audience) Not as long of a drive as you might suppose.
    Pete: So I convinced old red, white and blue blood here that he was needed elsewhere! He thought I was from military intelligence!
    PJ: Now that's a pretty scary concept.
• This exchange from "A Goof of the People".
  Toxic Waste Monster: Dada?
  Mr. Sludge: No, I am not your Dada!
  Melvin: There is a bit of a family resemblance, sir.
  Mr. Sludge: (points to Goofy) He is your Dada!
• Peg, in "Goof Under My Roof": "Well, isn't this a sight: Two grown men rolling around in the trash."
• At the beginning of "Goodbye, Mr. Goofy", Pete comes over Goofy's house with many of his belongings.
  Pete: Hello, neighbor. Just thought I'd drop by to drop off a few of your things... and tell ya TO KEEP YOUR OWN JUNK IN YOUR OWN HOUSE! (starts throwing all of Goofy's things at him) LIKE THIS, FOR INSTANCE! THIS AND THESE AND THOSE! AND THAT! AND DON'T FORGET THAT! AND THEN THERE'S THIS STUPID THING! AND LAST AND LEAST THIS!
  • At the ending, where Goofy finds his missing mortgage money after Pete gives him an assload of his own money in a desperate attempt to get him out of his house, causing Pete to snap and give Goofy everything he owns as he descents into madness over Goofy's mortgage money not turning up until after the fact.
  Goofy: Would you looky here! It's my mortgage money! All four hundred dollars!
  Pete: Yuck! Well, maybe you'll need more! Why take chances?
  Pete starts throwing handfuls of cash out of his wallet.
  Pete: Here's another hundred! Ooh, the one got too close... take an extra fifty! NAH, just take the whole wallet!
  Pete then starts giving Goofy literally everything he has.
  Pete: ...and this ring! And here's my car keys! And my I-talian shoes, and some credit cards! Ooh, ooh, wait a- wait, what about the shirt off my back?
  Pete rips his shirt open and starts dancing like a buffoon.
  Pete: ...and an I-O-U and a U-O-Me, E-I-E-I-O! With a blank check here and a blank check there, I'm gonna strangle you right now, come on! Hahaha!.
• In "Lethal Goofin", when PJ manages to defeat local bully Tooth by accident, the other kids on the street voice their approval, including one kid named Melvin who immediately tries to kiss up to him, and PJ is not impressed.
  Pistol: PJ beat the bully! PJ beat the bully! PJ beat the bully!
  PJ: (eyes widening in shock) I… what?!
  Pistol: My big brother's a bully-bumper! Cheer him or fear him, folks!
  PJ: Cut it out, Pistol! I didn't beat up anybody!
  Max: (smirking) I beg to differ, pal.
  PJ: But I didn't mean to do it, man! I- (Melvin suddenly grabs hold of his sleeve)
  Melvin: Oh, oh, I just want to go on record as being more than willing to both cheer you and fear you, sir. PJ, sir, sir.
  PJ: (frowning) Oh, Melvin, get a grip.
  • Later, Max tries to convince Douglas Twinkmeyer to let them join the school's safety patrol.
    Douglas: I'm not so sure you two are safety material. I mean, the force is made up by Spoonerville school's finest. The few, the proud, the-
    Melvin: (stepping inside his office) Hiya, chief!
    Max's narration: Hmm, one look at that line-up of macho men told me they were no match for any bully. Hey, they were afraid of-
    Melvin: (gasps) Look, the kid with the deadly rump!
    PJ: (glances behind himself self-consciously) Deadly?
  • Douglas Twinkmeyer as an eleven year old mob boss, striking fear into the hearts of his lackeys, is a pretty amusing sight.
    Tooth: (cowering in fear) We've got a little problem, boss. It's those new Safeties!
    Nails: (stammering) Yeah, the Bumpinators!
    Douglas: (outraged) Bumpinators?! You two are the biggest, toughest bullies in this school, and you can’t handle a few rookie Safeties?!
  • The interrogation scene, where Nails is made to identify his boss by being forced to look at PJ shaking his butt.
    Max: Who's Mr. Big?
    Nails: (stammering) Okay, okay, I'll tell you. Just please ask him to sit down.
  • After the boys are set up in a sting-operation gone wrong, Douglas immediately fires them.
    Douglas: You two are a disgrace to this force! You don't deserve to wear these badges!
    Max: (panicking) No! No! You're not gonna-!
    Max's narration: He did. It looked like he enjoyed it too.
    Douglas cackles gleefully as he smashes Max and PJ’s badges into oblivion with a mallet.
  • When the boys confront Douglas and his goons during the climax, we’re treated to a bit of Hypocritical Humor from Max.
    Max: You disgust me, Twinkie!
    Douglas: (feigns shock) That's a cheap shot, mister.
    Max: (standing next to a very angry PJ) What kind of spineless wimp hides behind somebody else's brawn?! Get em', Peej!
• "Frankengoof"
  • When our main characters get their first look at Frankengoof's monster, Goofy immediately cringes at how ugly he thinks it is, when the monster in question looks almost exactly like Pete. Make of those implications what you will.
  • The angry mob mistake a disguised Pete for Frankengoof's monster. When Pete tries to explain that he's not a monster, but a used car salesman, the leader of the mob quips that there isn't much difference.
  • At one point, PJ gives the angry mob surprisingly violent tips about how they can hunt down the monster even better than they already are, which, considering the monster's true identity, is quite ironic.
  • This exchange when Igor and the kids discover Pete dressed as Frankengoof's monster.
    Igor: I'm afraid that's your dear, sweet Daddykins!
    Pistol: Daddy's the monster? Cool!
  • By the episode's end, the cast return home. However, they accidentally brought Frankengoof's Monster home with them, but they don't seem to mind as he's much more pleasant to be around than Pete. Meanwhile, Pete is left at Frankengoof's castle being forced to be housekeeper as he tries in vain to explain he's really Pete.
• In "And Baby Makes Three", when Peg ponders what she would buy for the family if she was rich enough to own a mansion:
  Peg: ...and for Pete, a boat, a really big boat...
  Peter: Muffin, have you seen my lugnuts?
  Peg:...the Titanic.
• In "The Incredible Bulk", Pete is annoyed that Goofy's eating all his food. Peg tells him there's fresh fruit in the crisper and he responds, "I want something that's bad for me."
• "Mrs. Spoonverville" has this surprisingly savage (but not inaccurate) exchange between the two dads.
  Pete: Goofy, are you trying to make me look bad in front of the wife?
  Goofy: Oh no, Petey. You was doing just fine by yourself.
• When "Big City Blues" starts, Max and PJ are bored out of their minds, lazing around in the front yard, when a pajama-clad Pete decides to talk to them.
  Pete: What are you spuds up to?
  PJ: (dully) We're resting, sir.
  Max: (sighs) The fast life of the suburbs has aged us before our times.
  Pete: Well, it just isn't right for kids to be sitting around. You have to prepare to grow up and do manly-type stuff - like me!
  Max: (smirks sarcastically) Oh, should we go put our pajamas back on?
  Pete: No, you're dressed fine, it's your altitude that you have to work on.
  • Pete doesn't take it well when he and Goofy find out their respective sons left for downtown on their own.
    Goofy and Pete: DOWNTOWN?!!!!
    Pete: But there's weirdos downtown! And killer bees! And people wearing neo-postmodern fashions! And croco-gators in the sewers! And all sorts of icky stuff like that! When I get hold of the spud that gave them the idea to go downtown, I'll pulverize 'im.
    Goofy: (reading the note left by the boys) They say it was your idea, Pete, so they thought it would be okey-dokey.
    Pete: Oh. Never mind that now! We gotta save our sons from civilization! (he leaves for downtown, dragging Goofy along with him)
  • Goofy is pretty candid about the details when he and Pete flag down a cab in the city to look for their sons.
    Pete: Get us downtown and make it snappy!
    Goofy: Don't mind him, he's a little upset because he let our kids go downtown alone.
    Pete: (frowns and pulls Goofy into the cab) Get in here, big mouth!
  • Pete's earlier freakout is given a callback when Goofy and Pete witness Max and PJ racing down a hill in an out of control grocery cart, pursued by their homeless friend Buster, without any context.
    Goofy: Petey, you're a genius!
    Pete: Never mind that now, that weirdo's after the boys! (he grabs hold of Goofy and gives chase)
  • At the episode's end, Pete is completely and utterly lost as all the episode's various conflicts and plot threads wrap themselves up quite nicely, without him ever having the slightest idea about what actually happened with the boys in the city that day. Even Goofy gets onboard and rolls with Max and PJ's sudden desire to help the homeless a lot more quickly and smoothly than he does. Eventually, Pete decides to just give up and go back to the bed.
• At the start of "Rally Round The Goof", Goofy is cleaning the sign on Pete's car lot when a distracted Pete takes away the ladder, leaving Goofy hanging. After dangling for a minute, Goofy finally manages to get Pete's attention, just in time for the screaming canine to fall on top of him.
  • Afraid of his bad luck, Pete tries to find a way to back out of the upcoming Spoonerville road rally while still saving face to his rival, Earl, and the car salesman does not buy it in the slightest.
    Pete: Save the lame stuff for your TV commercials and state your business.
    Earl: Aww, I thought maybe you'd want to make a small sideways wager on the outcome of the Spoonerville 500 is all.
    Pete: Well... matter of fact, I'm not entering this year. I, uh... got an ingrown toenail disorder on my pedal foot and my liverwurst's getting worse, and I can't sit in a car for more than ten minutes at a time, yeah.
    Earl: (smirking) That's what I thought. You're nothing but a big, yellow-bellied, hot-house chicken.
    Pete: Well, that too, but.. Wait, what did you call me?!
  • There's actually several episodes of Goof Troop devoted to Pete competing against his fellow car salesmen for bragging rights. The idea that there's this whole network of sleazy car salesmen in Spoonerville who have nothing better to do with their time except rub their success in each other's faces is so petty and immature that it's funny in and of itself.
  • The entire scene of Pete being conned by a hyperactive, opportunistic fortuneteller.
    Zelderina: I know answer!
    Pete: But I haven’t even asked the question-
    Zelderina: Money is root of all evil, it drains your luck dry. Let Zelderina absorb all of Mr. Pete's bad luck! Give me your money!
    Pete: You've got it, I… What?!
    Zelderina: Yes, money, yes! Give to Zelderina! Give me your bad luck! Do it now!
    Pete scowls at her but eventually, reluctantly complies.
    Zelderina: There, how do you feel?
    Pete: Um, broke?
    Zelderina: Good, healing has begun.
  • By the day of the big race, Pete's family has well and truly caught onto his new superstitious obsessions, and considering Pete has never hesitated to needle other people about their fears in the past, Peg and the kids clearly decide to have some fun with him.
    Peg: (sweetly) Why, there’s your car, Peter. And look, they made you number thirteen.
    Pete: Thirteen, huh?
    PJ: (smirking) Only fourteen more minutes, dad. Nope, make that thirteen.
    Pete: Thirteen?
    Pistol: Yep, race starts at 1:00, that’s 13:00 naval time!
    Pete: It is?!
    Max: We’ll be rooting for you! Up there in row thirteen!
    Pete: You-you will?!
    Peg: (smirks) No, but you don’t mind, do you? Because you’re not superstitious, are you?
    Pete: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, nope.
• In "Where There's a Will, There's a Goof", a super paranoid Pete tries to convince Goofy to leave home with him so they won't be hunted down.
  Goofy: I couldn't sleep, Petey, knowing I'm a wanted criminal. You and I have to talk. Hey, what are you doing?
  Pete: (whispering) I'm going on the run, underground, on the lam, see? And you're coming with me!
  Goofy: You want me to come with you? It'll be just like one of those on-the-road buddy movies!
  Pete: Yeah, it'll be worth it to make sure you keep your yap shut up about me!
  Goofy: Thanks, Pete. You won't regret this!
  Goofy immediately trips and falls over onto the pavement with a crash.
  Pete: (sighs) I already do.
  • Later, Goofy is mistaken for someone else and is to be bestowed an inheritance along with his brother, whilst Pete is overhearing it.
    Pete: Do I really want to pretend to be that dipstick's brother for mere monetary compensation? You bet your earlobes I do!
  • Even later, when Pete is going on a rant, complaining about the latest predicament he’s brought upon himself, Goofy and Peg do not miss an opportunity to cut him down to size.
    Pete: I've had all I can take! The sooner we get rid of those troublemakers, the better! I don't know why we ever got into this mess in the first place!
    Goofy and Peg: (plainly and unanimously) You wanted money.
    Pete: All right, all right, all right. I'm not perfect you know. ...But I’m close.
    Peg: (deadpan) About as close as left is to right.
    Goofy chuckles in agreement.
    Pete: (frowns) I heard that.
  • In the third act, Goofy and Pete meet their doppelgangers, who look exactly like them but with their personalities flipped. Goofy’s super aggressive doppelganger chews out Pete for putting their inheritance in jeopardy and threatens him to fix it or else, which leaves Pete feeling deeply unnerved by the whole encounter. What really sells this scene is the surrealness of Bill Farmer and Jim Cummings mimicking each other's characters while still maintaining Goofy and Pete's usual voices.
• When "Gymnaseum" starts, Pete is being even more rude and inconsiderate to his friends and family than usual, and as a result, they're all fed up with his self-absorption - even Goofy. When he tries to back out of his promise to take them all skiing, they immediately set him straight by pelting him with snowballs.
  • Pete is embarrassed to discover he's stuck in his recliner, having grown fat from overeating recently, so the others devise a way to set him free. Peg decides to have Goofy pull him loose with his car, which Pete points out could go wrong for a variety of reasons, but since everyone is already annoyed with him, they're all a bit too eager to push forward with the idea. Instead of separating the two, Goofy's car winds up dragging the chair and a screaming Pete out of the house and down into the street, for who knows how long. Thank goodness for Toon Physics.
  • Peg realizes that Pete's jealousy of his rival, Tan Roadster, trying to steal her away from him is one of the only sure-fire things that will motivate Pete to get into shape, so she decides to (rather deviously) fan the flames a bit. Like when Pete walks in to discover a whole room full of roses Tan sent her.
    Peg: (smiling sweetly) Oh, hello Peter.
    Pete: I'm gonna whip Tan's money coated hide!
    Peg: Oh Petey, Tan can't buy my heart with chocolate and roses.
    Pete: (laughs nervously) Of course he can't.
    Peg: However, a convertible in candy-apple red...
  • Goofy tries to help Pete by taking him to the gym, and we're given a training montage of Pete trying and failing to get into shape by hurting himself in various ways - like bouncing on the gym's trampoline so much, he bounces clear through the ceiling, or getting his jump rope tangled up with Goofy's because they both got carried away.
    Pete: I really hate this.
  • During the winter games, Peg seductively says "See you at the finish line." Pete and Tan both say "Alright" in unison and then growl at each other.

Episodes 53 - 79

• Pete trying to go on a diet by eating six powerbars in one sitting which Peg calls "snacking between snacks" and then when he is called out on this by Peg who tells him he should only eat one per meal, he responds: "Well, then you better get cooking. I've eaten a half dozen of these; that's six meals!"
• In "Buddy Building", Pete tries to lose a few pounds by exercising in the garage, and he enlists Max and PJ's help to set up. The results of his training montage are pretty cringe, thanks to Pete tripping over the dumbbells, stubbornly refusing to read the instructions on the equipment and biting off more than he chew, and finally bringing the whole garage down on himself out of some weird attempt to make himself a corset.
  • While they're at the beach, a teenage delinquent named Leech decides to bully PJ, so he and Max try to stand up for themselves - the keyword being 'try'.
    Leech: (sneering) Sorry Tumble-Tub.
    PJ: (scowling) Hey, give it back, man!
    Leech: Hmm, no.
    PJ: Well, you may have my frisbee, but I still have my visor!
    Leech promptly steals his visor off his head.
    PJ: (frowns) Okay, you may have my visor, shirt, shoes and watch, but I still have- Umm…
    Max: (steps up) Me! I'll handle this! That's what best buds are for!
    Leech grabs them, throws a rope around them, and ties them both to a tree before they can blink.
    Max: (gulps) Don't worry, Peej! I'll get us out of this... somehow!
  • Max and PJ's classmate, Cooper, decides to introduce PJ to weightlifting, and the two boys immediately hit it off. Max, feeling a bit jealous and left out, tries way too hard to impress them, and as a result, his clumsiness causes him to make a complete fool of himself.
    Cooper: Now, when you use the punching bag-
    Max: (impatiently) Eh, this thing's a cinch! (Max punches it) Oww! (the punching bag swings back around and hits Max square in the face, knocking him over)
  • When Goofy, Max, Pete, PJ, Harold and Cooper decide to team up so they can find Ronald Streudelnossher, they all decide to wear dark burglar clothes so they can sneak around town stealthily. But when they track the man down by following the trail of things that fell out of his clown car, they all decide to put on clown clothes for literally no reason.
• In "Dr. Horatio's Magic Orchestra", when Goofy, Peg, PJ and Pistol confront Pete about stealing Goofy's magic band, Pete, of course, tries to deny it. He almost manages to convince them that he's innocent, until the trunk of instruments that he pushed out of a plane earlier comes crashing through the ceiling and flattens him onto the floor in front of everyone. Laser-Guided Karma at its finest.
  • When Goofy and Peg are giving Pete a heated chewing out afterwards, Goofy decides to lay down some straight facts.
    Peg: This is the lowest you've ever stooped!
    Goofy: Now Peg, you're not being fair!
    Pete: Thanks, Goofer-
    Goofy: Petey's stooped much lower than this! Hundreds of times! Thousands of times!
    PJ: Yeah, remember the incident with the hairless monkey?
    Goofy: Yeah, I remember that.
    Pete: I thought we agreed never to bring that up again!
  • After Pete finally comes clean about his deeply rooted complex, Peg pats him on the back and tries to cheer him up.
    Peg: (smiling) Petums, you've finally admitted your problem after all these years. Do you realize what this means?
    Pete: (hopefully) That I'm cured?
    Peg: No. Now you have to confront your fear, face-to-face.
    Pete: (anxiously) I do?
• In "Goofs Of A Feather", Pete is planning to go hunting, without letting the rest of his family know. When PJ and Pistol spot all the ridiculously over-the-top weapons Pete is having delivered onto their lawn, he suddenly appears behind them and blinds them with his arms to keep them from seeing anything, before sending them on their way.
  • Goofy is rather suspicious when Pete tries to butter him up and rope him into his plans.
    Goofy: Birds? I didn’t know you liked birds, Pete.
    Pete: Why, I love them! (he smirks discreetly to the audience) Especially when they're stuffed and sitting on my mantle.
  • Pete tries to get Goofy to come with him on his hunting trip so he can use Goofy's bird-calling skills but of course, Goofy doesn't realize Pete's talking about him.
    Goofy: Oh...how about Fred?
    Pete: Who's Fred?
    Goofy: I don't know. Back to thinkin'.
  • Goofy unleashes his inner ham when he's mourning the duck Pete apparently shot, causing Pete to slowly have a Heel Realization.
    Goofy: (tearing up) Garwsh, Pete, it's a little mama ducky, and her little baby duckies! What's gonna happen to 'em now that their daddy ducky's erased from the blackboard of life?! (he starts bawling hysterically) Who's gonna feed 'em and care for 'em? How are they gonna get by?! The bank will probably foreclose on 'em! They'll lose the car, the house and everything! (his howling grows louder) I can barely stand it!!!
    Pete: (frowning) Goof, they're ducks.
    Goofy: (wailing) And they're all alone!!! Out here in the cold, cruel world with nobody to watch over 'em!
    Pete: (uneasily and guiltily) Now, look Goofer, this happens all the time. It's not like he's the first duck to be sent to the taxidermitologist... I mean, it's not like I did something wrong-
    Pete yelps as he suddenly gets struck by lightning, proving him wrong.
    Pete: (stammering) Then again, I guess I... maybe I could... that is... they can... (the Tears of Remorse finally set in as little tiny ducklings surround him) Aww, the poor little duckies can come stay with me!!!
  • Pete meets his match in this episode, when he messes with the wrong duck clan. There's something inherently funny about the fact that Pete, the biggest schemer and con artist in the show, gets outsmarted by ducks for most of this episode when they decide to take advantage of his guilty conscience and make themselves at home in his home. Pretty soon, the ducks have completely taken over and have Pete waiting on them, hand on foot. He also nearly sees through their leader's Paper-Thin Disguise a few times.
    Pete: (frowning) Say, you look familiar.
    Head duck: (grinning impishly) Who, me?
    Pete: (suspiciously) Don't I know you from someplace?
    Head duck: (shaking his head) Uh-uh, no way, uh-uh.
    Pete: (unsatisfied) I never forget a beak. You sure we never met?
    Head duck: (grins innocently) Sorry.
  • When Pete finally discovers the duck he 'killed' is still alive, his duck rival challenges him to a game of cards to settle things between them - and he's willing to go all in with the stakes.
    Pete: What is it that you want?!
    The duck gestures all around them, all around Pete's house.
    Pete: (alarmed) You want... everything?!
    Head duck: (snaps his fingers) Bingo.
  • Later, Peg and Pete have this exchange, once the ducks are finally gone and Pete has reclaimed his home.
    Peg: Well, I hope you've learned a lesson from all of this, Pete.
    Pete: Oh, I have, snookums, I have. (he chuckles darkly) Next time, I'm using a bigger gun.
• In "Goof Fellas", Goofy takes another jab at Pete when he's fantasizing about how much fun he’ll have on his vacation without Goofy around.
  Pete: I'm gonna kick back, relax, and put some meat on these bones!
  Goofy: (smiles and pokes Pete's belly) Yeah, you've got to have some bones in there somewhere.
  Pete scowls and very clearly thinks about firing back, before he decides to change the subject.
  • Pete completely freaks out when his usual boasting on TV, about saving Goofy from mobsters, comes back to bite him in the backside.
    Goofy: Mr. Big? Is he any kin to that there feller on the FBI's top ten most fearful criminals list?
    Inspector: One and the same. We believe he's put contracts out on both of you.
    Goofy: Contracts, huh? Pete, we better get us a good lawyer to help us negotiate.
    Pete: (panicking) Contracts?! But-but I didn't see a thing! I wasn't even there! The Goof saw it all! Me, I've got a small case of malaria in my pupil artery! Quick, how many fingers am I holding up?! Four?! See, I wasn't even close! I can't even see the head in front of my face! (he backs up into his television, turning it on)
    Pete on TV: (grinning boastfully) It was all me, Honest Pete of Honest Pete's Used Cars, who saved that poor soul from his unsightly demise!
    Pete closes his eyes and hangs his head in defeat.
  • In general, Pete's predicament throughout the episode, which is practically tailor-made to be his worst nightmare. Murderous gangsters want him dead so he's forced to go into the witness protection program; the men in charge pair him up with Goofy for convenience, his most favorite person who he'll be spending a lot of alone time with now; their so-called safe house is located on the same street as their usual residence, which hardly inspires confidence; and finally, the two men keep drawing attention to themselves by accident. Pete is already not a patient man, and this whole episode is basically an endurance test for how long he can last without snapping.
  • At one point, Pete growls this really emo line at Goofy, that would make Squidward Tentacles proud.
    Goofy: (smiling) It sure is nice, spending all this quality time together, huh, Pete?
    Pete: (scowling) Do you lie awake at night, thinking of new ways to make me miserable?
  • When Goofy and Pete wind up at the mobsters' headquarters, they pull off an elaborate façade to escape - pretending to be gangsters and snuffing out themselves - which almost works, until Goofy decides to blow their identities to the don, right at the last second. At which point, Goofy and Pete resort to an old classic - running for their lives.
• Goofy is on top form throughout "The Good, the Bad, and The Goofy", with loads of great lines like these:
  • "If there's one thing I don't like about falling off a roof, it's the pain involved."
  • "Pete's a swell kinda guy, once you get past his personality."
  • "Good thing I took knot-tying classes in school... just too bad I failed 'em."
  • "I'll tell you where I live, you can rob me, but I'll never, ever tell you where my next door neighbor Pete lives!"
  • At one point, Goofy gets distracted filling up his car at a gas station, when he realizes he forgot to return the transmission he took out of two crooks' car and races after them, ripping the gas pump out of the ground in the process. The entire gas station blows up behind him, which doesn’t seem to faze Goofy in the slightest.
  • Goofy's sheer destructive might is given a callback later, at the episode's end. Peg puts Goofy in charge of lighting her furnace, which a paranoid Pete has just enough time to freak out over, before Goofy blows up the Pete family's entire house, with them still inside it.
• The premise of "Peg O' The Jungle" is similar to the climax of "Wrecks, Lies & Videotape" - the main cast working together to con Pete - except it's stretched out over an entire episode and it is golden. Peg wants to teach Pete a lesson about taking her for granted as his wife, and by this point in the series, Peg, Goofy, Max, PJ and Pistol all know Pete's lazy, cheapskate personality well enough to manipulate him every step of the way. Pete is made to squirm in all sorts of ways during his desperate bid to please Peg, like having to eat baked octopus, having to parachute out of a plane when he's terrified of heights (and when he's too scared to make the jump, Goofy straight-up kicks him out of the plane), having to compete against his doppelgangers (who are pretty obviously the rest of the gang in disguise), and finally having to brave the various dangers of the jungle to get Peg a proper anniversary present.
  • The kids have a pretty good laugh about the ruse when it's all over.
    PJ: (giggling) Oh man, wouldn't dad croak if he knew he spent his vacation on the wrong side of the resort?
    Pistol: (chuckling) And got captured by his own kids?
    Max: (snickering) And paid for the whole set-up with his own credit card?
  • During the coda, the kids admit that they're kind of hoping for a chance to do a repeat performance down the line.
    Peg: Aww, the best anniversary ever.
    Pete: (holding her hand) But not the last. I'm never forgetting my little pumpkin's big day ever again.
    PJ: (whispering with a grin) But just in case he does, where do you wanna go next year? Hey, how about the Himalayas?
    Pistol: (smiling) No, Europe!
    Max: (excitedly) Skiing!
    PJ: (eagerly) Africa!
    Pistol: (giggling) Goonieland!
    Max: (grinning) Scuba diving!
    PJ: (boldly) Australia!
• The entirety of "To Catch a Goof":
  • Peg makes a bet with Pete that he can't go a day without eating anything, and before she leaves, she makes sure to pat him down for any food he might have hidden in his clothes. She finds plenty - including a jar of library paste that Pete claims he's had since he was in kindergarten.
  • After a few hours, a ravenous Pete is trying to hold out out of willpower, but he's cracking under pressure and undergoing another round of Sanity Slippage. He hallucinates that all the food in the kitchen is calling out to him, encouraging him to eat them, which causes him to freak out in front of PJ and Pistol.
    Chocolate cake: (seductively) Pete? Oh Pete? We're here for you, Pete.
    Ice cream tub: (tantalizingly) Don't forget the ice cream.
    Chip bag: Potato chips... Potato chips...
    Pete: WILLPOWER!!!!
  • Desperate for a snack, Pete sneaks inside Goofy's kitchen and makes himself a multi-decker sandwich. Goofy, who's been learning martial arts for self-defense, dressed up as a ninja and attacks Pete, thinking he was the burglar. The police come and arrest them both, mistaking Pete as the burglar and Goofy as his accomplice.
    Pete: But it was only a sandwich!
  • While they're in jail, Goofy and Pete lay into each other.
    Goofy: (scowling) My own neighbor, a burglar, caught red-handed with his own wife's jewelry!
    Pete: (dumbfounded) But I only took a sandwich!
    Goofy: (gasps accusingly) You were swiping food from the mouths of your own family?!
    Pete: (glaring) No, it was YOUR SANDWICH!!!
    Goofy (outraged) What?! You're not satisfied burglaring your kin, you gotta prey on your neighbors too?!!
    Pete: (defensively) BUT I WAS STARVING!!!
    Goofy: (his expression shifts sympathetically) Oh, Petey, why didn't you tell me? I didn't know. Poverty drove you to it, huh?
    Pete: Poverty drove me to- You simple-headed gerkin! THE REAL BURGLAR GOT AWAY AND THEY BUSTED US BY MISTAKE!!!
    Goofy: (finally getting it) You mean you're innocent?
    Pete: BINGO!!!
    • Before that, they were given a meal in their cell. Pete was ecstatic, but Goofy throws it back, announcing they're going on a hunger strike until they're set free - at which point, Pete finally breaks down and starts crying.
  • After the real burglar was caught, Pete can't take it anymore and runs to the fridge, only to get punched in the face by a booby trap.
• "Maximum Insecurity" ends with Peg yet again yelling at Pete for his faults. Pete just shoots a crooked grin at Goofy and fondly says "I love that woman."
• PJ has a pretty odd reaction in "Great Egg-Spectations", when he spots the giant egg Max wanted to show him.
  PJ: (excitedly) "Dude! A giant albino M&M!"
  • This exchange happens, when Goofy walks in on PJ sitting on the egg, like Max asked him to.
    Goofy: Hi, PJ.
    PJ gapes in absolute horror, before quickly pulling a sheet over his legs.
    PJ: (stammering) Oh, uh, hi, sir! Max will be back in a second!
    Goofy: Whatcha doing there?
    PJ: (smiling anxiously) Oh, well, I'm just... seeing how hot I can make my knees, you know?
    Goofy: (grinning) Yup, I remember when I used to do that! Well, so long!
  • For once, PJ decides to check out just as Max's predicament is starting to escalate, and Max does not take it well.
    PJ: (slipping out the door) Good luck, Max!
    Max: (frowning) You rat!
  • At one point, Max floods the basement with water to give Bubbles plenty of room to swim around. Goofy heads downstairs to put his socks in the dryer, while his nose is planted in a book, and in typical Goofy fashion, manages to completely miss everything that's wrong - he only wonders why his socks are still wet after he's done.
• In "Pistolgeist", Pistol decides to ask PJ to play with her with some pretty poor timing, causing him to lose a video game right when he and Max were on the last level. What follows is a classic Rob Paulsen meltdown.
  Pistol: (grinning) So, what do you say, my old bro of mine?
  PJ: Do you realize you just flushed eight months of intensive training down the commode?!
  Pistol: (sadly) You don't want to be my buddy either, do you?
  PJ: (groans) Oh, Pistol. I've read you that book 42,800 times! You ought to have it memorized by now!
  Pistol: You never read me the last chapter.
  PJ: BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS FALL ASLEEP BEFORE THE LAST CHAPTER!!!
  • After encouraging Pistol to play with her imaginary friend to keep her busy, Max and PJ are shocked when the whole house starts to shake, with a ton of noise coming from Pistol’s room.
    PJ: What's going on?!
    Pete: (from downstairs) PJ, turn down that video game!
    Max: Little sister revenge!
    The two boys start knocking on Pistol's door angrily.
    Max: Hey Pistol!
    PJ: Come on! Pipe down, man!
    Max: You're giving me a headache!
    Pete: DON'T TRY TO PIN IT ON HER! SHE DOESN'T HAVE A VIDEO GAME!
  • Pete and Peg's chat when they're washing the dishes.
    Pete: How about those two kids, huh? Two pals in a pod, birds of a feather. They take after their dad.
    Peg, who is still standing right next to him, frowns.
    Pete: (grins sheepishly) And their momsy.
• At the start of "Goofin' Up The Social Ladder", Peg is annoyed by how her husband and her two kids have their eyes glued to the TV screen, watching a super classy annual belching competition. It's one of the few times you see Pete and his kids think on the same wavelength about something, and it's on the last thing you’d expect.
  Peg: (exasperated) Oh don’t tell me, we’re watching Goon Town Gladiators again?!
  Pete: It's Gross-A-Rama 2, Peggums!
  Pistol: It's the mighty Ralph, mommy!
  PJ: Yeah, he's going for his fifth straight international belching title, mom!
  Pete: You're just in time, sweet roll. He's going to melt the windshield of a semi in fifty feet!
  Peg: (flatly) Oh, lucky me.
  Pete: (grins excitedly) He did it! He did it! He did it!
  PJ: What a belch, bud!
  Pistol: (grinning) Look, the referee's gonna faint again!
  • While Peg is usually quick to be skeptical of other people's foolish antics, she decides to put together her own Zany Scheme with Goofy for a change, so she can rub elbows with high society and win a bet she made with Pete about turning her family into a class act. In true Goof Troop fashion, everything that can go wrong immediately does go wrong - like Peg being accosted by two dogs who live on the property she’s trespassing on. They give her a quick nip on the backside when she gets stuck between a fence ("Never underestimate the power of a woman who refuses to admit she needs to lose weight"), and at one point, manage to steal the dress she’s wearing off her.
  • To get Peg what she needs for her ruse, Goofy and Pete straight-up steal a mansion set from a movie that’s being produced, dragging it off the lot with Goofy’s car.
    Actor: Hey, what do you think you’re doing?!
    Pete: (smarmily) We have to move the set, lady!
  • Peg tries to get her friends and family trained, so they'll be on their best behavior when company comes by. The show's narrator tries to guide them through the steps with his usual instructions, which Peg apparently has little patience for when she breaks the fourth wall.
    Narrator: The how-tos of etiquette. Nothing shows refinement and delicacy of sentiment quite like-
    Peg: (annoyed) Hey, we haven't got all day!
    Narrator: Sorry.
  • Peg is horrified when her planned luncheon winds up being burnt to a crisp in the oven, while Pete (who's been enjoying watching this plan crash and burn from the start) is simply amused.
    Pete: (chuckles) I hope high society likes charred food the way us common folk do!
  • Similar to "Take Me Out Of The Ball Game", the last act is when the web of lies gets escalated to a whole other level of absurdity. Peg agrees to play tennis with Mrs. Willoughby over the weekend, as long as she brings two additional players. Peg doesn’t have any close female friends on hand, and the main cast of Goof Troop is primarily dudes, so she decides to bring Goofy and Pete in drag - and they pass as women about as well as you would expect them to. The fact that they didn't even buy proper wigs and just decided to wear mop heads just makes it even better.
  • Anyone who's familiar with these sorts of sitcom plots would expect Goofy and Pete to slip up and be exposed as men at some point, but it never happens. Instead, Peg gets what she wanted - Mrs. Willoughby's friendship and acceptance - and the woman invites her and her friends over for another fun hobby, learning how to dance ballet. Pete, already knowing where those plans are heading, checks right out of them and runs for the hills, with Peg chasing him down as the end credits roll.
• "From Air to Eternity" has this exchange, which stands out as one of the few jokes in an episode that was rather dramatic even for a PJ episode:
  Max: What could go wrong?
  PJ: Let me count the ways. One: everything! That's it, I'm done!
• In the Christmas Episode, the two families are taking refuge in a cave during a storm until suddenly a bear shows up, threatening them all. Peg, jumping to her family's defense, walks up to him and tells him to buzz off and find his own cave to sleep in. Until PJ nervously walks up and tells her that they are in his cave, immediately taking the wind out of her sails.
  • Also from that same episode, the zonked out face Pete makes after he gets clonked on the head by Goofy's skis.
  • Pete's line "I'm gonna spend the holidays in the emergency room" after Peg insists that Goofy and Max stay with them.
  • When the wild bear confronts the gang for the third time, cornering them in his cave, it doesn't take long for Pete to start blubbering with fear.
    Pete: I'm too handsome to die! (grabs Goofy) Here, take him!
  • The delightfully absurd climax, where Goofy, Max, Pete, PJ, Peg and Pistol placate the bear with a silly dance Goofy and Max made up when Max was younger. This solution to their problem comes right out of nowhere, and it's funny to watch precisely because it would be very out-of-character for at least half of the cast to do this, if their lives weren't at stake at the moment.

---