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Funny / Goldfinger

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The Film

  • "Shocking. Positively shocking."
  • As the drug shipment Bond rigged with explosives blows up, everyone panics while Bond just calmly smokes his cigarette.
  • Bond's visit to Q is light-hearted as ever as Bond winds up Q something terrible.
    • As Q is proudly showing off the tracking radar in the Aston Martin:
    Bond: Ingenious. And useful, too. Allows a man to stop off for a quick one en route.
    Q: (exasperated) It has not been perfected after years of patient research entirely for that purpose, 007.
    • The famous ejector seat exchange:
    Bond: Ejector seat? You're joking!
    Q: I never joke about my work, 007.
    • Q tells Bond he won't keep him more than an hour, which Bond doesn't look happy about.
  • Bond meets Goldfinger for a game of golf. Despite the seriousness of the situation there are some moments:
    • When Goldfinger, in the middle of lining up a putt, figures out that Bond didn't just want to play golf, Bond drops the bar of gold on the green in front of him. Goldfinger is so dazzled by it that he misses his shot.
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    • When Bond and his caddy realise that Goldfinger is cheating by having Oddjob drop a new ball from easy-to-play lie, Bond finds and swipes Goldfinger's real ball, a Slazenger 1, and swaps it for a Slazenger 7 in his hand. Under the strict rules that Goldfinger insisted on, Goldfinger loses the last hole and therefore the match for playing the wrong ball. Goldfinger is furious, Bond is pleased, and the caddy can barely contain his glee.
  • In Switzerland, Bond forces Tilly Masterson's car off the road with the Ben Hur-style tyre shredder on his car. After her car comes to a crashing stop, Bond then jumps out of his car full of concern for her and wonders how the damage happened.
  • Goldfinger first puts Bond in a cell with the standard one inept guard. He naturally escapes, but is recaptured, and the next time we see him, the camera pulls back to reveal there are now several armed guards inside the cell with him, so many that they're not even bothering to close the door.
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  • Bond's first escape from his prison cell, where he trolls the guard into opening the cell door through sheer weirdness.
  • Felix goes to Goldfinger's ranch to check on Bond, only to find Bond walking towards the barn with Pussy Galore. Felix grins and says, "That's my James!"
  • A quick one, but if you look closely, you can see some of the gangsters playing with the model cars on Goldfinger's model of Ft. Knox.
  • The Time Bomb getting stopped at 007 seconds.
    • Particularly, Bond panics looking at the myriad of moving parts and wires, completely unsure of what to do. He grabs a cluster of wires and starts to just yank before the bomb technician pushes him out of the way and simply flicks the off switch.
    Bond: (nonchalantly) What kept you?
  • At one point, Pussy Galore sends a stewardess to keep an eye on Bond while he's in the bathroom in case he tries anything. Bond messes with her by blocking the peep holes to the bathroom, culminating with him spraying shaving cream on one hidden behind the mirror.
    • Right before that, while he's putting shaving cream on his face, he winks in the mirror.
  • In Bond's fight with Oddjob he managed to land a square hit right on his chin only for Oddjob to cock his head to the side and grin as if he's thinking "seriously?"
    • Similarly, Oddjob's Nonchalant Dodge when Bond tries to use his hat against him. It's such an Epic Fail for Bond and Oddjob's smug smile is icing on the cake.
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    • The entire fight can be summed up as Oddjob happily tossing Bond around the vaults like a frisbee.
    • Likewise Bond's You Have GOT to Be Kidding Me! expression as Oddjob takes all his blows with a smile.
  • Who could forget this classic line from the villain? The thing most parodies leave out - and that sells the line in the film - is just how jovial and nonchalant he is about it.
    Bond: Do you expect me to talk?
    Goldfinger: No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die!
  • Or this line:
    Pussy Galore: My name is Pussy Galore.
    Bond: (with a look that screams "Now I've heard everything") I must be dreaming.
    • Rumor has it the line was originally "I know, but what's your name?", but even the censors who let the name itself through balked at that one.
  • Viewers today may laugh at the moment when Bond smacks Dink's ass near the beginning.

The Novel

  • Bond continues grumbling about American-made cars.
    Bond: *On Felix's Studillac* It's time you graduated out of the Kiddicar class and bought yourself an express carriage.
    • Felix's response is to speed through a green light so he can beat it before it goes red. Bond then grumpily notes that Felix's Pinkerton card will be slapped down by the traffic cops.
  • On their first meeting, Goldfinger, who is pretending to be deaf, addresses Bond as Mr. Bomb.
  • The aftermath of Auric Goldfinger meeting with the gangsters over Operation: Grand Slam and the holdouts backing out.
    Goldfinger: Gentlemen and madam. I have received bad news. Our friend Mr Helmut Springer has met with an accident. He fell down the stairs. Death was instantaneous.
    Mr. Ring: Ho, ho! And what does that Slappy Hapgood, his torpedo, have to say about it?
    Goldfinger: Alas, Mr Hapgood also fell down the stairs and has succumbed to his injuries.
    Mr. Solo: (in awe) Mister, you better get those stairs fixed before me and my friend Giulio come to use them.
    Goldfinger: (with a straight face) The fault has been located. Repairs will be put in hand at once.

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