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As a Moments subpage, all spoilers are unmarked as per policy. You Have Been Warned.

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    Season 1 
  • In the pilot episode when Rachel says "There is nothing ironic about show choir!"
  • Rachel asking Emma if she's ever liked somebody so much that she wanted to lock herself up in her room and cry to sad music, followed by Emma's "no", a brief shot of Will, and a cut to Emma locked in her car while it's raining, crying and singing along to "All By Myself". Granted it was in a car and not a room...
  • "I'm pretty sure my cat's been reading my diary."
  • Josh Groban telling Sandy to lay off.
  • Josh Groban hitting on Will's mom. Specifically the face he makes when she says she's drunk and "not making very good decisions".
  • Quinn at the Celibacy Club meeting: (completely straight-faced) "If the balloon pops, the sound makes the angels cry."
  • Puck saying "I had sex with your mom. No, seriously: I cleaned your pool, and then I had sex with her... on your bed. Nice Star Wars sheets."
  • The entire football team doing the dance from Beyonce's "Single Ladies." In uniform and pads. In the middle of the game. And doing it WELL.
  • Puck, after a dream about Rachel: "When I woke up, I knew it was a message from God. Rachel was a hot Jew and the Good Lord wanted me to get into her pants."
  • The glee club on Sudafed.
    • Especially Finn's real life :D face while singing.
  • Kurt: "They [the other male members of the Glee club] rejected my offer to do their hair in cornrows, and all my ideas were derided as too costly because they involved a variety of exotic bird feathers."
  • Finn: "Then I came up with the best baby name of all time: DRIZZLE."
  • Will: "Ken, your commitment to football is about as long as your shorts."
  • Artie: "I wanna be very clear... I still have the use of my penis."
  • Sue: "In fact, I like minorities so much that I'm thinking of moving to California to become one!"
  • Sue: "Think this is hard? Try living with hepatitis, that's hard."
  • "That was the most offensive thing I have seen in 20 years of teaching, and that includes an elementary school production of Hair."
  • Sue's "Dear Journal..."
  • Sue: "I will go to the animal shelter and get you a kitty cat. I will let you fall in love with that kitty cat. And then on some dark, cold night, I will steal away into your home, and punch you in the face."
  • Puck's cheesy grin during "Proud Mary" at the end of Episode 9.
  • In Acafellas, when the new choreographer hired by the club proceeds to insult Rachel's appearance, Finn's height, and Kurt's clothes and kicks out Mercedes for her weight and Artie for not being able to walk, Rachel tells him, "You're fired. And I'm taller than you."
  • Rachel and Artie in Wheels:
    Rachel: "We didn't think Artie would take it personally."
    Artie: "Well, you're irritating most of the time, but don't take that personally."
  • Puck's fake crying when he goes to Sandy with his "disability."
    • "The doctor said the shark severed my spine!"
      • "And this is why I never go to the aquarium!"
  • Sue: "You think that's hard? Try auditioning for Baywatch and being told that 'We're going in a different direction.' That was hard!"
  • From Wheels:
    Santana: Brittany, you're supposed to be in your wheelchair.
    Brittany: I lost it.
    • Also, another Brittany moment from Wheels:
      Kurt: Everyone raise your right hand.
      (Brittany raises her left hand)
      Kurt: Your right hand, Brittany.
      (Brittany continues with her left hand until Santana actually shows her which is which.)
      Brittany: Oh. Sorry.
    • Also, this example of Bread Eggs Squick Milk.
      Finn: Yeah Mr. Schue. Kids are busier than when you went here. We've got homework and football and teen pregnancy, lunch.
  • Finn's face when Kurt slaps him on the ass during "Push it."
    • Hell, the entire routine can be seen as this, from the over-the-top sexiness and the audience's different reactions.
    • Especially Sue's reaction is hilarious.
    • Plus Emma grooving in her seat and Figgins' happy swaying and toe tapping.
  • Drunk Kurt: "Oh Bambi. I cried so hard when those hunters shot your mommy..."
    • The fact that he's saying this to Jayma Mays is just golden.
  • From, shockingly, Ballads:
    Mr. Schue: Does anybody know what a ballad is?
    Brittany: *Knowledgeable voice* A male duck.
    • Give Brit-Brit points for that one, she came close.
  • And later from the same episode:
    Mr. Schue: I want you to all pick a song out of this hat.
    Brittany: I bet the duck is in the hat.
  • Also from Ballads:
    Kurt: I could totally sing this song with Finn, but screw him if thinks he's taking the Diana Ross part from me.
  • Yet again in Ballads, when Kurt tells Finn that Finn's father had a weapon when charging onto the field (comparable to Finn going to dinner with Quinn's parents and telling them about her being pregnant) and Finn goes, "You think I should bring a gun?"
  • The terrifying twist on "Endless Love" as sung by Mr. Schue and Rachel, complete with voiced-over thoughts of various characters regarding the song and/or the singers and Puck's completely non-sequitur thoughts about his going commando.
    • Puck:
      "I LOVE the days when I don't wear underwear... Full commando..."
    • Artie's reaction to Will and Rachel singing "Endless Love".
  • Also from Ballads:
    Kurt: (talking about Finn) I don't know why I find his stupidity charming, Finn steals a peek at Brittany's test. I mean, he's cheating off a girl who thinks the square root of 4 is rainbows.
  • Finn's kung fu moves as he tries to psych himself up in the Fabrays' bathroom.
  • After Susie calls the Schuesters in flashback:
    Terri: (to Susie Pepper on the phone) "Listen, you little psycho, this is Will's wife. And if I don't get enough sleep, my anti-depressants won't work, and then I'll go crazy, and I'LL KILL YOU."
  • Susie Pepper trying to commit suicide by using the world's hottest pepper. Crosses the Line Twice? You bet!
  • Everyone is taking a name out of a hat. It is Tina's turn, and she takes... Other Asian. Mike's irritated look on his face afterwards is what sells it.
  • Finn telling Quinn's parents that she's pregnant through the song "You're Having My Baby".
  • Kurt's "call me" gesture at Finn and Finn's reaction during "Lean On Me".
  • From Wheels:
    Sue: As soon as a cheerleader rolls herself out in a wheelchair, she becomes decidedly less effective at cheering people up!
  • Sue again:
    "Glee Club... Every time I try to destroy that clutch of scab-eating mouth-breathers it only comes back stronger, like some kind of sexually ambiguous horror movie villain."
  • From Throwdown:
    Sue: (talking to Will) I don't trust a man with curly hair. I can't help but picture little birds laying sulfurous eggs in there, and it disgusts me.
  • Sue's Corner:
    Sue: I, for one, think intimacy has no place in a marriage. Walked in on my parents once and it was like seeing two walruses wrestling.
  • Yet again, Sue.
    "I am going to create an environment so toxic no one will want to be part of that club. Like the time I sold my house to a nice young couple and salted the earth in the backyard so that nothing could grow there for 100 years. Know why I did that? Because they tried to get me to pay their closing costs."
  • Puck, about how Finn will react if Puck and Quinn decide to raise the baby together:
    "Sure he'd be pissed at first, but once he realized he didn't have to deal with this anymore, he'd bake me a damn cake!"
  • Finn, to Rachel about her Unnecessary Makeover:
    "I'm gonna say this as nicely as I possibly can, but you look like a... sad clown hooker."
  • Kendra, after Quinn says she wants to keep the baby:
    Kendra: I'm gonna have her babysit my kids. Five minutes alone with those little mongrels and she'll have her tubes tied!
  • The deaf glee club member blatantly signing "They look like they're crazy..." to their friend during New Directions performance of "Crazy In Love/Hair."
  • Puck:
    Are you questioning my badass-ness? Have you seen my guns??
  • The montage of photos that were taken as a result of Rachel joining as many clubs as possible, no matter how ill-suited for her they may be, just so she can be in as many photos as possible. It starts out mild, with stuff like Speech Club and Mock United Nations Club, but eventually ends up in stuff like Muslim Students Clubnote  and Black Students Union. What really seals this as a crowning moment of funny though is the totally deadpan/irritated looks she gets from everyone else in the more egregious photos.
    • The Black Students Union one is even funnier if you recall that the pilot episode briefly mentioned that Rachel was adopted by two gay men, who both artificially inseminated the same woman so they wouldn't know for sure who was the biological father. One of them is black. The fact that Rachel looks whitenote  just adds to the humor.
  • Later in the episode she suggests that she and Kurt start a GayLesbAll.
    Kurt: A what?
    Rachel: A Gay-Lesbian-Alliance!
    *Kurt immediately leaves*
  • Brittany and Santana:
    Santana: Sex is not dating.
    Brittany: If it were, Santana and I would be dating.
  • Sue in Sectionals:
    Sue: I'm reasonably confident you'll be adding revenge to the long list of things you're no good at, right next to being married, running a high school glee club and finding a hairstyle that doesn't look like a lesbian.
    ''(a bit later)
    Sue: Get ready for the ride of your life, Will Schuester. You're about to board the Sue Sylvester Express. Destination horror!
  • Burt's reaction to Kurt coming out (also a Heartwarming Moments):
    "I've known since you were three. All you wanted for your birthday was a pair of sensible heels."
  • Principal Figgins on the YouTube video Sue was blackmailing him with:
    Figgins: Oh Sue, I put it on YouTube myself, and it only got two hits! Let me break it down for you, nobody cares!
    Figgins: NO! NOT THE CHILDREN!
  • The what-do-you-say-when-you-answer-the-phone opening to Mr. Schue's speech completely backfiring.
    Mr. Schue: What do you say when you answer the phone?
    Mercedes: What up?
    Artie: Who dis be?
    Kurt: (very matter-of-factly) No, she's dead, this is her son.
    Mr. Schue: Okay. Alexander Graham Bell, the inventor of the telephone, liked to say "Ahoy!" [rest of speech]
  • From Hell-O:
    Brittany: "Did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks?"
  • Sue, during her Vogue video (Made by Kurt and Mercedes): "Will Schuester, I hate you!"
    • Kurt's face immediately after.
  • Brittany: "Sometimes I forget my middle name."
  • Emma telling Will (deadpan serious) how she plans to do the nasty with him Friday night.
  • Sue claiming Madonna's album True Blue was released on her sixth birthday.
    Mercedes: ... Wouldn't that make you, like, thirty?
    Sue: Twenty nine.
  • Jesse St. James: "Just come out so we can talk... Or sing about it."
  • Kurt in episode 16 : "And I had splenda for breakfast!"
  • The Glee club performing Can't Touch This to improve their reputations... and getting shut down by the librarian, who thought it was "cute" and wanted them to perform it at her church.
  • Mr. Schue interrogating the glee club kids about the Glist and Kurt pointing out that Schue is obviously watching way too many Law And Order reruns.
  • The "Run, Joey, Run" video.
  • Will is introducing Jesse to the Glee Club:
    Brittany: Mr. Schue, is he your son?
  • Bryan Ryan (Neil Patrick Harris) and Sue deciding to have "angry sex" after their debate over which department should get school funding.
    Bryan: You know I'm still cutting half your funding.
    Sue: You win some, you lose some.
    • Made extra funny when you realize that both actors in the scene are gay.
  • Will finding out that the one girl that Bryan Ryan (Neil Patrick Harris) wanted Terri but she was "the one who got away" for him. Complete with Spit Take and Will telling Bryan about his marriage and divorce.
  • The girls and Kurt temporarily becoming demonically possessed performing Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance".
    • Special mention goes to Kurt's little "'Cause I'm a freak, baby!"
  • Tina's vampire speech to Figgins.
  • The Guys performing "Shout It Out Loud" in full KISS makeup and costume, especially Puck's "whore lips".
  • From Laryngitis:
    Rachel: [Without my voice,] I'm just this spoiled, annoying only child.
    Finn: Don't say that; there's so many awesome things about you.
    Rachel: Like?
    Finn: ...Look, he's not gonna say you'll never sing again.
  • Will seducing Sue. In all its cheesy glory.
  • Rachel calling out the piano player to sing a duet with her mother, commenting, "He's always just...around."
  • Will trying to come up with an excuse for why Rachel has to sit in the back seat:
    Will: I'm just... concerned for your safety.
    Rachel: [charmed] Really?
    Will: Um... No. Not really.
  • Quinn giving birth in the middle of "Bohemian Rhapsody," complete with her lines sometimes meshing with the lyrics. More specifically (since a lot of that was other kinds of Emotional Torque), her screaming "YOUSUCKYOUSUCKYOUSUCK!" at Puck during a particularly nasty contraction.
  • Finn looking down at his nametag to check if the store has been renamed "Losers 'n' Things".
  • Sue in Journey:
    "I have to be honest, Will. I'm having a really difficult time hearing anything you have to say today because your hair looks like a briar patch. I keep expecting racist animated Disney characters to pop up and start singing songs about 'livin' on the Bayou!'"
  • Will in Journey, and the fact that it takes Finn a moment to get it.
    Will: "We have got something that other groups don't!"
    Everyone: "What?"
    Will: "Finn's dancing!"
  • Run Joey Run. YMMV on if the song is as horrible as they say but the performances, Puck's and Rachel's especially are so overblown it's impossible not to laugh. Bonus points as Rachel spends the whole video with a melodramatically wide-eyed expression which has to be seen to be disbelieved.
  • Rachel: "I'm like Tinkerbell, Finn. I need applause to LIVE!"
  • Sue: "I spend large chunks of each day picturing you choking on food. And I recently contacted an exotic animal dealer because I had a very satisfying dream that the two of us went to a zoo and I shoved your face into one of those pink inflamed monkey butts that weeps lymph."
  • Kurt's expression and silent 'Oh my god' during "Bust a Move" when Will is trying to get him to dance at about 'the girl is stacked'. No, scratch that. Everything Kurt does during that song is hilarious. He picks up a tambourine and plays it by himself in the corner at one point.
    • Not to mention Brittany twerking directly at him at the end of the song.
  • At the end of "Theatricality" when they're all walking away from the camera, Kurt reaches out and touches Finn's costume. Finn reaches over to feel Kurt's... and Kurt scoots away shaking his head.
    • Hell, Finn showing up in that costume was a laugh riot.
      Kurt: Oh... my god.
  • Terri: "This is where our daughter or gay son will sleep."
  • Kurt in Vitamin D:
    Kurt: I don't understand how lightning is in competition with an above-ground swimming pool.
    Will: ...Just go with it.
  • Kurt: "Aaand, we have a jumper."
  • Will: "I have in my hand a Spanish quiz in which one of your Cheerios misspelled her name & answered every question with a drawing of a sombrero!"
    • No points for guessing which Cheerio that was.
  • You have to look SO hard to get this one, but in Throwdown, when Sue recruits her "Sue's Kids", Artie is hilariously clinging to Mercedes in the background. It loses something in the writing.
    • Specifically, Sue identifies "her" kids as Santana, Wheels, Gay Kid, Asian, Other Asian, Aretha and Shaft. Insulting, yes, but made funny by Kurt's look of suppressed panic at "gay kid" and Tina and Mike's momentary confusion over which one of them is "Asian".
  • Just the idea of a mashup of "I Could Have Danced All Night" and "The Thong Song"
  • Also from "Mash-Up," after Kurt's self-slushee Taking the Bullet, "Someone get me to a day spa! STAT!" And the Glee girls immediately take him into the ladies room to help him out.
  • Kurt's facial expressions/weeping over the hood of his "Baby" while Mercedes sings "Bust Your Windows" with the Cheerios doing her backup dancing.
  • Mercedes interrupting the club's rendition of "You're The One That I Want":
    Mercedes: Aw, HELL to the naw! Listen, I ain't up for this background singing nonsense. I'm Beyonce, I ain't no Kelly Rowland.
  • The whole scene where Santana's propositioning Finn, especially the way her tone goes from seductive to annoyed in about three seconds as she almost immediately loses her patience with him, and her reasoning behind it.
    Santana: [berating] Look, Finn, it's high time you lost "the Big V." Everything about you screams "virgin!" You're as sexy as a Cabbage Patch Doll. It's exhausting to look at you. [alluring] So c'mon, Finn. Let's do the deed. It'll be great for my image, and Sue will promote me to head cheerleader. It's a win-win.
    Finn: But what's in it for me?
    Santana: I don't know, you...get to have sex, and make Rachel jealous? I meant for me. It's a win-win for me.
  • Kurt squirming and glaring indignantly whenever anyone touches him in the first few episodes, best of all when Rachel drags her hand through his hair and over his face during "You're The One That I Want." First he raises one eyebrow as she touches his hair, attempts to kill Rachel with his eyes after the face bit, and he can be seen trying to fix his hair as he sings (still glaring) for about ten seconds afterward.
  • Kurt's consistent pride and indignance (at pretty much everything) throughout the entire show.
    • when Kurt's about to be thrown into the dumpster again in Showmance:
      Kurt: (glaring at all of them) One day you all will work for me.
    • This becomes even better when you know that it was ad-libbed. Oh yes. Worship the Colfer.
    • The fact that the football players are willing to hold Kurt's jacket and bag while he gets thrown in the dumpster.
  • Burt's speech to Kurt about Brittany. It's more his delivery than anything. You just get the feeling that he was given the same speech about respect and protection when he was around Kurt's age but that, ever since Kurt turned three, he thought he'd never have to give it to his own son, causing his awkward fumbling. Of course, this goes hand-in-hand with a Heartwarming Moment where he tells Kurt that his son can be whoever he wants to be but that, when Kurt figures out who that person is, Burt would like to know him.
  • From "The Power of Madonna". Brittany giving a totally wrong explanation as to what a misogynist is.
  • The Ominous Latin Chanting ("O Fortuna", to be exact) all through Throwdown.
  • "Well, call the Vatican! We've got ourselves another immaculate conception!"
  • The Lady Gaga discussion at the beginning of Theatricality:
    Rachel: I rooted through the dumpsters behind the Carmel auditorium and I found 18 empty boxes of Christmas lights!
    Tina: Oh, no!
    Rachel: Which lead me to Joelle Fabrics. I asked them about red Chantilly lace. They were sold out!
    Mercedes: Oh, sweet Jesus!
    Kurt: Oh, my!
    Will: What?
    Kurt: They're doing Gaga.
    Mercedes: That's it, it's over.
    Rachel: Exactly!
    Kurt: We should have guessed it. They're going for full-out theatricality, they know it's the easiest way to beat us. Damn them!
    Puck: What's up with this Gaga dude? He just, like, dresses weird, right? Like Bowie?
    Kurt: Lady Gaga is a woman! She's only the biggest pop act to come along in decades. She's boundary-pushing; the most theatrical performer of our generation. And she changes her look faster than Brit changes sexual partners.
    Brittany: It's true.
  • Puck going on and on to Mercedes about why Super Mario Bros. 3 is the greatest video game ever.
  • In "Laryngitis", Rachel's performance of "The Climb" and Kurt's "Pink Houses". Made even better by the club's WTF expressions, especially Brittany's enjoyment of both.
  • Sue's little pep talk to Kurt in "Layringitis". She sure is great at bringing people up...
    Sue: You see, that's the problem with your generation. You're obsessed with labels. So you like show tunes! Doesn't mean you're gay. It just means you're awful. You know, there's only one person in this world who can tell you what you are.
    Kurt: Me.
  • The Unwed Mothers Coalitions' "baby bump" choreography in "Funk."

    Season 2 
  • Sunshine and Rachel have a vocal catfight (although Sunshine is under the impression it's just for fun) to Lady GaGa and Beyonce's "Telephone" in the girl's bathroom. Sue walks in on them, promptly yells "SHUT UP!", looks at them like they're crazy, and walks out without saying another word. Doubles as an Awesome moment.
  • After Sunshine explains she doesn't understand Rachel (due to her having headphones in) Rachel assumes she can't speak English.
    Join glee club it is fun. Swaying in background can be fun.
  • The Asian Camp flashback scene, showcasing how Tina and Mike started dating. Basically, while singing "Getting to Know You" to some Asian children, Tina becomes so mesmerized by Mike's impressive abs while he's dancing around, that the moment he approaches her they start kissing. Right then and there, in front of the children. While one kid snaps a picture of them with his cellphone.
  • Quinn and Santana's fight in the hallway. Complete with Brittany!
    Brittany: Stop the violence.
  • Puck telling Sam he has a big mouth and then asking how many tennis balls he can fit into it.
    Sam: I don't know, I've never had any balls in my mouth. Have you?
  • The club's complete lack of surprise when Will breaks the news that Puck's been sent to jail.
  • "Britney/Brittany" has SO many. Santana telling Carl he could "drill [her] whenever", a pamphlet that reads "There's hair down THERE?!", a David After Dentist reference by Rachel...
    • Santana flirting with Carl becomes even funnier after finding out she's gay, how it was just her trying too hard.
    • There's also Jacob Ben Israel and the AV President's mental "orgasm" during Glee's "Toxic" number at the Homecoming assembly (AKA the biggest clothed orgy in TV history).
    • Also the butt sweat stain. Squicky... but Sue's fixation on it made it hilarious.
  • Just about every word out of Brittany's mouth in "Britney/Brittany". Besides her amazing speech revealing her full name (Brittany S. Pierce) as the reason she doesn't want to sing Britney songs, there's also this little gem from the end of the episode:
    Rachel: ... and I realized that I was crushing you in my hands, like a little baby bird...
    Brittany: Wait, Finn can fly?
    Kurt: ...really?
  • Santana bitching out Carl just to get anesthetized in "Britney/Brittany":
    "Look, my dad is a doctor. A real doctor, not a 'tooth doctor'. He like, went to college or something. But the point is, I have a killer health care plan that pays for everything. So get up in my grill, because Britts and I want to get our anesthesia on!"
    • Doubles as Hilarious in Hindsight, as this was the moment most Gleeks figured out Santana was in love with Brittany.
  • "Britney/Brittany" had the incredibly pathetic Facebook group to get the glee club to perform Britney Spears at an assembly.
  • [When Kurt is asked why he's an atheist, and that you can't prove there's no God.
    Kurt: You also can't prove that there isn't a dwarf living on a teapot on the dark side of the moon that reads romance novels and shoots lightning out of its boobs, but it seems pretty unlikely doesn't it?
    Brittany: Is God an evil dwarf?
  • "Duets": Rachel's and Finn's singing "With You I'm Born Again" while dressed as schoolgirl and priest. The expression on Finn's face was utterly goofy. The rest of the Glee cast' faces were priceless.
    • Mike starts clapping, and Tina stops him. And Quinn tells Rachel and Finn that she wanted to punch them both.
    • Since they intentionally did the song poorly in order to throw the competition to Sam and Quinn, they then have to act shocked and surprised that nobody liked the piece.
    • Brittany, out of the blue, deciding she wants to date Artie.
      Brittany: So, I just want you to know I'm really into you.
      Artie: ........Okay. Sorry, I'm...just a little confused. You've never even made eye contact with me.
      Brittany: I know. For a while, I thought you were a robot.
      [cut to Tina and Mike arguing, then back]
      Artie: So, let me get this straight. You want to be my girlfriend, like the idea of...wheeling me around?
      Brittany: I just really want to get you in a stroller.
      [Artie smiles like this appeals to him]
    • "Give me some chocolate or I will cut you." That had to cross SOME kind of line, but damn if it wasn't funny.
    • And speaking of Sue, her little spiel on Halloween.
    • And of course, because no episode is complete without Brittany:
      Kurt: So what are you gonna be for Halloween this year?
      Brittany: I'm going as a peanut allergy.
    • Emma and Will's reaction to Carl's way early entrance in Rocky Horror Glee Show.
      • Via motorcycle through the wall. Three guesses what song Stamos sung.
  • From "Never Been Kissed":
    • "STAY AWAY FROM MY WOMAN. >:(" Mike is saying this to Beiste.
    • "I've never actually almost killed a civil servant before."
    • Rachel's cry of "Spiiieees!"
    • Brittany massaging Artie's leg at Breadstix and then wondering why she's getting no reaction.
    • Blaine after he and Kurt confront Karofsky: "Well, he's not coming out anytime soon."
    • When the boys describe Beiste as being hard on the outside but soft and fluffy on the inside, Sam's response is "Like a chocolate turtle." Finn's response - "Totally, you're nougaty!" What really sells it is the look of "I'm surrounded by crazy people" on Kurt's face.
  • "The Substitute":
    • Holly's recollection of Cameo, an unruly former student of hers. "Tricks? You some kind of magician substitute? I'm a Christian, and that devil magic stuff OFFENDS ME!" (rushes Holly and punches her lights out)
    • Rachel getting rushed by Santana when she tries to sub for Will. Santana's held back by the others, but her yelling in really ghetto Spanish makes Rachel scream.
    • "Oh my gosh, I open my mouth and a little purse falls out!" (Mercedes imagines Kurt saying that after he and Blaine have conversation consisting entirely of "Gay gay gay-gay gay gay")
      • Not to mention the little "How did that get in there?" and Mercedes' hilarious "WTF" face.
    • Will in a nutshell:
      Puck: Mr. Schue, can we do that new Cee-Lo song?
      Will: Mm, no. Come on, guys, there's gotta be a Journey song we haven't done yet!
      • And then later:
        Rachel: Mr. Schuester, I want to do more of an upbeat, glamorous song with a good dance beat.
        Will: No, but I have good news. I found a Journey song we haven't done yet!
    • Rachel's conversation with Holly
      Rachel: Hello Miss Holiday. I'd like you to know that I have a very severe bruise on my right buttocks from your game of gangsta rap musical chairs. I'll be going on record with the school nurse later today.
      Holly: Rachel, you suck.
      • It's her facial expression that sells it.
    • Will trying to go on teaching while sick, only to turn to the kids to find they have somehow regressed into 5-year-olds. Cutest hallucination ever.
      Child!Mike: I just wanna dance.
      • Will decides to go see the nurse. "But first, I feel like I should get you guys a sitter."
    • Beiste reprimanding the team about spraying athlete's foot medicine in teammates' eyes. Sue comes in, they argue (sorta), then Sue walks off. Beiste sprays said medicine in the air in Sue's general direction then, seeming to realize what she did, turns back to the team and just points to the medicine and goes "No."
    • Holly Holiday teaching the Spanish class:
      Cuantos veces Lindsay Lohan estuvo in rehab? Cinco veces!
    • From Kurt's English class:
      Brett, the kid next to Kurt: Are you smoking anything? 'cause this is trippy!
      Kurt: You smell homeless, Brett. Homeless.
    • "Everyone work on your bipolar rants!"
    • The club trying to fool Holly:
      Holly: Let's start with some introductions. My name is Holly Holliday, what's yours? Go!
      Puck: I'm Finn Hudson, I'm quarterback in the football team.
      Santana: I'm Rachel Berry, his loud, loud girlfriend.
      Brittany: I'm Mike Chang.
      Mike: *nods*
    • When Santana is posing as Rachel, you can see Rachel behind her trying not to laugh.
    • Will talking about his love of Singin' in the Rain:
      Will: When I'm sick there's only one thing that makes me feel good.
      Artie: (wisely) Gin and juice...
      Will: *confused face*
  • Emma's office's pamphlets are sort of a stealth Running Gag. She has some really unnerving ones, such as "Help! I'm In Love With My Step Dad!"
  • “...Which is why I just prefer to think of the homeless as outdoorsy. So shine on urban campers. You smell like adventure.”
    • Brittany asking Tina why Artie just lays there when they make out...
    • Kurt's response as to Finn asking if having a flock of doves at their parents wedding will make things "messy". "That's why we're going to feed the doves glitter, Finn." Finn thinks this is a great idea, which makes it better.
      • Later in the same scene: "I've been planning weddings since I was two. My Power Rangers got married and divorced in so many different combinations they were like Fleetwood Mac."
    • The things that Sue is most passionate about: Extreme Taxidermy, Tantric Yelling, Poking the Elderly with hidden pins.
      • Then she does it to her mom later on!
    • Sue's proposed nicknames for Kurt: Gelfing, Porcelain or Tickle Me Doughface.
      • Sue's reaction to Kurt not picking Tickle Me Doughface.
  • Brittany moving the meatball with her nose in "Duets" is both this and a Tear Jerker considering she wanted to share a Spaghetti Kiss with Artie.
  • Brittany's admitting to "adultery" in Special Education. "I thought it meant being stupid. Like being a dolt."
    • Also, the circumstances behind that. She was at motocross practice. As in, motorized dirt bikes. This from a girl that forgets her middle name.
    • "If we lose, we should throw possums at them."
  • Pretty much anything done by Puck in "Special Education"
    • Puck: Buddha! Allah! Satan! Help me!
  • In "Special Education", as the Glee Club argues and fights before performing, we are treated to a shot of Sixth Ranger Lauren calmly eating pretzels.
    Lauren: Best. Greenroom. Ever.
  • During Rachel and Finn's couples therapy.
    Rachel: As a therapist, would it be productive if I slapped him?
    Emma: I'm not really a therapist. You could...storm out?
  • Sue randomly throwing twigs at Mercedes in a flashback, and calling the state department as Tina to get her name legally changed to Tina Cohen-Chang-Loser.
  • "Sue The Grinch." Literally.
    • Brittany and "Santa" have an incredible Heartwarming Moment together... and then:
      "Santa": ... and she put being husky to good use.
      Brittany: ... was her name Ricki Lake?
    • Also, Brittany's little anecdote about the mice in her stocking. "Their Christmas gift to each other was rabies."
    • Mike wants "Channing Tatum to stop being in stuff" for Christmas.
      • Sam wants "Chapstick, like, a lot of Chapstick."
      • The entire scene was hilarious, specially because it sounded what young children could say.
    • Will is trying to come up with a present to Sue for Christmas. 1) A Robot Dog. Thinks for a bit and then writes down 2) A SOUL, gives up and fling away the pad.
    • Becky being The Dragon and dutifully picking up the phone Will tosses on the floor when he storms out. Sue can only temper her zeal with a "At ease, Becky." Best Dragon Ever.
    • When Brittany and Sue the Grinch meet up. The scene from the book is duplicated word-for-word. And Brittany's hairstyle and innocence... let's just say that Cindy Lou Who lives.
    • Kurt to Will as he comes to Dalton: "Are you looking to teach some place where pencils aren't primarily used as weapons?"
  • This exchange between Kurt and Rachel at the end of "Duets":
    Rachel: I think that you and I are a little more similar than you think.
    Kurt: That's a terrible thing to say. *sprays his hair*
  • This little gem from "Never Been Kissed":
    Mr. Schue: I'm not throwing out the baby with the bathwater here-
    Brittany: I did that once.
  • In "The Sue Sylvester Shuffle", Sue is bored of standard cheerleading routines, and plans to fire Brittany out of a canon during their next performance.
    Sue: I need this! This level of risk and danger makes me feel alive again!
    Figgins: But the risk and danger isn't to you!
  • From Furt, Finn's face when Kurt says that he has a trunkful of wedding magazines hidden under his bed
  • From "The Sue Sylvester Shuffle" when Sue announces her plan to launch Brittany from a human cannon.
    Brittany: I don't want to die yet, at least not until One Tree Hill gets canceled.
  • Kurt in the same episode: "Blaine and I both love football. Well, Blaine loves football. I love scarves."
  • When the football team is forced to join glee, the previously never seen or even mentioned McKinley Hockey Team who come out of nowhere to slushie the football players...and they all have Patrick Kane mullets.
    • They were seen in season one. In fact, in Karofsky's first appearance he is on the hockey team.
  • Blaine serenading Breadstix patrons with "Silly Love Songs". as he looks at Santana, who has had no romantic luck at all today, he sings the line "Sometimes it doesn't come at all". The look on her face is priceless.
    • The little "sorry" shrug he gives her is just the cherry on top too.
    • Seems a little harsher in hindsight as of "Sexy."
  • While Puck attempts to serenade Lauren with "Fat Bottomed Girls," Rachel looks confused, Mercedes looks happy for Lauren, and Santana merely has a look of absolute outrage that he's singing to Lauren while she is alone on Valentine's Day.
  • Santana vs. Lauren.
    Santana (after having her ass handed to her): That's how we do it in Lima Heights.
    Beiste (after peeling Santana off the floor and carrying her over her shoulder): Let's get you to the nurse...
    • Then Puck AFTER the fight... (sigh). Never change Noah. Never change:
  • Tina breaking down while singing 'My Funny Valentine' to Mike, the look on his face is hilarious.
  • Kurt gets so mad during "When I Get You Alone" that he just stands there grumpily. And when Blaine gets close to him he puts on an overly saccharine smile, only to switch back to his frown hilariously as soon as Blaine leaves.
    • Also, Blaine sliding up to the register holding a pair of socks.
    • There's also Kurt's face after Blaine sings the "keep your toys in the drawer tonight" line.
      • Jeremiah's face during that line is pretty hilarious too.
    • The abrupt scene change when the number ends. It goes from all the (many) Warblers helping Blaine loudly serenade his crush, dancing around the store and making a big spectacle of themselves to a shot of Blaine outside, worriedly asking Kurt "Was it too much?"
  • Blaine's attitude change towards Valentine's Day after getting rejected by the GAP guy.
    "It's puppy love. It's adorable." to:
    "Don't they have anything without these stupid little hearts? Gross."
  • Puck's confession about how terrible Juvie was: "People with no families, people who look at you like you're a dog they can't wait to kick the crap out of... and they kept taking my waffles."
  • All the guys having to constantly flick their hair out of their eyes after getting Justin Bieber hairstyles.
    • Especially Finn, as his hair isn't actually long enough to warrant the hair flicking, yet he does it anyway.
  • Puck's hoodie with the built-in Bieber fringe. It looks adorably ridiculous.
  • The girls faces when the boys came in the choir room with their Justin Bieber hairstyles. Tina's face was like "WTF", while Lauren does a Jaw Drop.
  • When the show suddenly jumps to Lauren fighting stage fright by imagining everyone in their underwear, it happens rather suddenly. Everybody in their underwear is hilarious: Will is wearing a vest with his undies, Sue's dressed like a dominatrix complete with a mask and whip, and Finn wears a Power Rangers T-Shirt; Mike and Sam are both shirtless, Rachel's underwear is in flannel, Santana's is in cheetah print, and Puck's wearing Star Wars briefs.
    • After Artie receives a Marshmallow Hell from Lauren, it's like he couldn't decide if he should feel disgusted or not.
    • Mercedes' face after Lauren pushes Tina at the end of her performance was priceless.
  • Sam getting his geek on with Santana. The resulting exchange even more so:
    Sam: *clearly pleased with himself* That's my James Earl Jones impression.
    Santana: First of all, that is a offensive. He shot Martin Luther King!
  • Sue: (to Katie Couric) "I hate you, Diane Sawyer."
  • (sheepish) "She kind of rocked my world."
  • Rachel's headband song.
  • The entirety of Blame It On The Alcohol
    • Specifically Finn's explanation to Rachel of the different drunk girl archetypes. Santana is the Hysterical Woman, Quinn & Lauren get angry at Puck, Mercedes & Tina laugh uncontrollably, Brittany turns into a stripper and Rachel becomes needy.
    • As well as drunk Blaine:
      Kurt: (to Finn) I'm still trying to impress Blaine. Can't get too sloppy. *looks over at Blaine flailing about wildly* Clearly he doesn't have the same concern.
      Blaine: (also to Finn) It is so cool that you and Kurt are brothers! I mean, brothers! Like, whoa! You're sooo tall.
    • Will's drunk dialing message.
    • Burt's immediate reaction upon finding Blaine in Kurt's bed.
      • Even funnier is Kurt's innocent expression of "What? What are you looking at me like that for?" as he casually moisturizes.
    • Rachel's immediate reaction after kissing Blaine:
      "Your face...tastes awesome."
    • When Schue calls out the kids for using alcohol before a performance:
      Quinn: Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black?
      Brittany (to Mercedes): That's so racist!
    • "Tik and also Tok by Ke -dollar sign- Ha.
    • "Hair of the dog that done bit yo' ass." Oh, Artie
    • Figgins had asked the glee club to perform at the anti alcohol assembly, and they decide to perform "Tik Tok" by Ke$ha. Rachel gives them a weird mixture of things she founds in her dads' liquor cabinet and cough syrup. The number goes pretty well until Brittany pukes all over Rachel towards the end of the song. Then everyone starts throwing up.
      • Also Brittany's line after throwing up the alcohol and cough syrup drink on Rachel: "Everybody drink responsibly."
    • When Kurt comes over to Rachel's to see how her date with Blaine went they sit to talk on the stage and there's a bra in the background.
    • Mr. Schue marking papers, giving them all A+ and giving comments like Nice Try and a smiley face.
    • Blaine's reaction to Rachel kissing him at the end of the episode
    Blaine: I'm definitely gay
  • Tina finding out about Brittany and Artie. Bonus points for Quinn's awkward expression since she's caught in the middle of this conversation.
    Tina: So you and Artie are officially dating now?
    Brittany: Deal with it. When you guys fooled around, did he ever like just lied there?
  • Brittany explains to the glee club that she knows she's pregnant because a stork is building a nest outside her window, so it's obviously bringing her baby. When they cut to Rachel's reaction shot, her look of incredulity is priceless.
    • Everyone's look in that scene is hilarious.
    • What makes this scene even funnier is Sam's expression. As opposed to the shocked reactions of the other Glee members, he just simply smiled amusedly like he's used to Brittany's outlandish statements. Remember he just joined Glee in S2 and doesn't know Brit as long as the rest of them.
  • Emma's fear of the hose monster. Well, pretty much anything done by Emma in this episode.
    • ESPECIALLY when she decides to sing "Afternoon Delight" as the song for celibacy.
  • Kurt sticking his fingers in his ears and going "lalalala" when Burt announces that it's time for The Talk.
    • Also:
    Kurt: I've tried watching those movies, but I just get horribly depressed and I think about how they were all kids once, and they all have mothers and god, what would their mothers think, and why would you get that tattoo there?!
  • Holly Holiday and the cucumbers.
    Finn: Wait, cucumbers can give you AIDS?
    • Then
    Holly: Apparently my cucumber demonstration made it impossible to watch Veggie Tales the same way ever again. I personally thought it made watching that show hilarious.
  • Blaine meeting Sue for the first time. Particularly since he doesn't actually have any lines in that scene. The way his facial expression slowly changes from politely confused to an open-mouthed gape of horror is hilarious.
  • When Holly mentions that having sex with someone means that you are having sex with everyone that that person have had sex with, Brittany gets the greatest Oh, Crap!-face ever.
  • When Brittany thinks she's pregnant and Santana promises not to tell anyone. In a matter of seconds, the news have reached Artie:
    Brittany: Please don't tell anyone, okay? Especially Artie. (walks away)
    Santana: Yeah, sure. Your secret's safe with... (to Tina) Oh my god, Brittany's pregnant!
    Tina: (to Puck) Oh my god, Brittany's pregnant!
    Puck: It was only a matter of time.
    Lauren: For what?
    Puck: Brittany to get pregnant.
    Lauren: (to Artie) Congratulations!
    Artie: For what?
    Lauren: Oh, you didn't hear? Your girlfriend's preggo. You're gonna be a baby daddy!
    Cue the Reaction Shot of Artie's less than pleased face.
  • "Big Ass Heart," Puck's original song. In its entirety. Especially:
    "When they go shopping, it gets its own damn cart."
    • As well as the opener:
    "It's called Big Ass... Heart."
  • In "Original Song," Finn saying "Whoa. Scary Quinn. Okay."
    • "Trouty Mouth" which Santana sings to Sam which goes into deep detail into how much his mouth is like several fish mouths. Sam is not happy. Double points for the fact that Naya Rivera has an incredible voice, so the juxtaposition is what sells it.
      • When Santana says she wrote a second verse of it and Sam raises the sign he wrote for Mercedes' song ("Hell No")
      • Also from that scene, Mike's timing for answering Sam was just hilarious.
    Santana: I wrote this for Sam, it's called "Trouty Mouth".
    [Camera zooms in on Sam]
    Sam: Wait, what's it called?
    Mike: [Leans into his close-up] Trouty Mouth.
  • Brittany saying that her favorite song is "My Headband," the song that Rachel wrote.
  • Sue punching out the presenter when Aural Intensity lost in "Original Song".
  • "My husband is verbally abusive, and I have been drinking since noon."
  • Kurt's annoyed expressions during "Misery."
    • Especially the one right at the start that screams "Bitch, you did not just throw paper on me!"
  • After Blaine proposes his duet idea to the Warblers:
    Blaine: Pavarotti's voice was silenced by death, and I don't want to silence anyone else's voices—Pavarotti would roll over in his tiny, tiny little grave.
    Kurt: The placement of which has yet to be determined.
  • Blaine's idea about a costume change for Regionals: Red ties with blue piping instead of blue ties with red piping. Everyone's outraged reactions are just hilarious.
    Random Warbler: This is a kangaroo court!
  • Every single one of Kurt's expressions in "Sexy" was absolutely hilarious. From his growly faces during "Animal" to his quiet horror as Burt gives him The Talk.
    • When Kurt is trying to be sexy in "Animal," Blaine is giving him the best "WTF?" faces.
    • Not to mention that, when Kurt tries again in his bedroom mirror and it doesn't work he says "How am I supposed to be sexy when I have all the sexual experience and knowledge of a baby penguin?"
  • Santana's hilarious over-the-top-lust after Dentist Carl. She was trying too hard.
  • Dustin's entire conversation with Holly. Especially his comments about Will's hands in "A Night of Neglect".
  • Santana's Badass Boast towards Karofsky.
    Santana: First of all, anything you do became my business when you decided to toss that slushie up in my grill.
    Karofsky: I think I can take a couple of queers and a girl.
    Santana: Ha. See here's what's gonna go down. Two choices: You stay here and I crack one of your nuts—right or left, that's your choice—or you walk away and live to be a douchebag another day. Oh, and also? I have razor blades hidden in my hair. Mm-hm. Tons, just all up in there.
    • Made even funnier by the fact that she pulls out the razor blade cell phone from her hair after Karofsky leaves.
  • Blaine's "dapper shove" against Karofsky. It was hilariously ineffective.
  • What may be the most ridiculous use of Chekhov's Gun in existence: Hermaphrodite Nazi Sympathizers. The goofy grins on Brittany and Artie's faces are priceless.
  • From "Born This Way":
    • When Santana describes Finn's nipples as "pyramid shaped", despite having already seen them, Sam still reaches out to cop a feel, only to have Finn bat his hand away.
    • Emma reveals her shirt representing her embracing her own flaw of being... ginger.
    • Santana's shirt simply says "Bitch". And Brittany giving her a shirt that says "Lebanese" not as a joke, but because she thought that was actually the correct term.
    Santana: Brittany, I'm Hispanic! (looks at the shirt again) ...Wait, was that supposed to say "lesbian?"
    Brittany: That is what it says, right?
    • Will's shirt says "Butt Chin".
    • Puck's shirt says "I'm with stupid" with an arrow pointing at his penis.
    • "I've gotta gay. Go. I've gotta go." No Santana, you were right the first time.
      • The look on Blaine's face after her mix-up is also a mixture of hilarious and adorable.
    • Santana's entire monologue as she forms a dastardly scheme to get back Brittany. But the best one was her saying: "Holy crap, I'm a closet lesbian AND a judgmental bitch, which means one thing: I have awesome gaydar."
      • "The only 'straight' I am is straight up bitch."
    • Sam's t-shirt said "Trouty mouth"
    • The giant goofy smile on Finn's face right before he clocks Rachel.
  • Blaine's over-the-top and almost grotesque sad face at the end of "Somewhere Only We Know", which is so hugely Narm that it becomes extremely funny.
  • From "Rumours": "Oh, how I've missed your insanity!"
    • Brittany; "Don't look at me like that. Just because I'm doing this interview doesn't mean I'm not still mad at you. I know you started smoking again. She's talking to her cat, Lord Tubbington. The cat's name is LORD TUBBINGTON.
      • Previously on Fondue For Two, Tina using her appearance to cheerfully refute that rumour about Asian men. Doubles as a Moment of Awesome for Mike.
    • Santana (about Brad the piano player): "He's just furniture. [turns to Brad] No offense." [Brad shrugs]
    • Sue disguised as Ann Coulter.
      Random woman: Ohio loves you, Ann Coulter!
      • Trumped by Sue dressed as David Bowie.
      • Trumped even more that the disguise change from Bowie to Coulter takes all of six seconds, which a confused Terri lampshades.
    • Also, Sue drinking the cocoa powder she ordered dressed as Bowie to try to imitate his eccentricities.
  • A combination of this and Heartwarming Moments. Mike whispers in Kurt's ear during the end of Rumours, and Kurt promptly takes Sam's guitar, which Sam is currently playing, straight out of his hands, causing a confused, affronted look in Sam. However, before Sam can react beyond that look, Puck and Mike pick him up and hoist him onto their shoulders.
  • After all of Santana's Gayngst, this bit of dialogue was hysterical:
    Finn: "What Prom-Queen Candidate is spending a whole lot of time in her closet?" That is garbage, Quinn is claustrophobic.
    Rachel: [Without missing a beat or giving a shit] No, that's Santana. Read the next one.
  • Quinn wants to be prom queen because they live 5 years longer than normal people. It's because they smile a lot and everyone knows smiling helps fight disease.
  • "Prom Queen" is full of funny moments and awesome one-liners:
    • Sue's "interrogating" Artie in "Prom Queen," complete with dental kit, which ends with this piece of dialogue:
    Sue: I'm trying to interrogate you and you just told me the one thing you always wanted. You are the worst POW ever. John McCain is rolling over in his grave."
    • Jesse saying he doesn't know what a recession is, only that we're in one... and Rachel saying that "he's so smart". Jesse is actually rife with these now, the most prominent being:
    "I just assumed it'd be like at Carmel where the school would get some Asian kid to take Math, English and Scientific for me."
    • At first, Quinn slapping Rachel seems pretty horrifying. Then Rachel says she's glad it "adds to the drama".
    • "Do I smell like a golf course?"
    • It was in the middle of a rather heart-breaking montage, but come on!
    Santana: Just because I hate everyone doesn't mean that they have to hate me too!
    • The boys hamming it up singing "Friday." Also doubles as Moment of Awesome; they managed to make "Friday" good.'
      • If you watch closely during "Friday", you can see Santana trying to restrain herself from getting bitchy when another girl walks by wearing the exact same dress as her.
    • Finn's liking of Kurt's prom ensemble? "Dude, that rocks, it's like gay Braveheart." It was a funny and Heartwarming Moment from Finn, it was hilarious and adorable in a supportive brother way.
    • Kurt: "Eat your heart out Kate Middleton!"
    • Lauren regarding her yellow prom dress attempt: "I look like a lemon meringue pie." Brittany's response? "I think you look delicious." So very Brittany.
    • Kurt: "Go with God, Satan. Santana!
    • Santana Lopez and David Karofsky's walkie-talkie conversation.
    Dave: Everything looks good. No gay protests or rainbow flags being lit on fire down this way.
    Santana: Are you finished talking?
    Dave: ... Yeah?
    Santana: When you're finished talking, you should say 'over'!
    Dave: Sorry. No burning Liberace mannequins. Over!
    • And afterward Santana is so busy announcing her intention to protect every student that she fails to stop a girl from sideswiping Kurt.
    Santana: Did she...?
    Kurt: I'm walking away from you now.
    • At the beginning of 'Isn't She Lovely'
    Kurt: A prom proposal! (excited clap)
    • And in the middle:
    Mercedes: (to Kurt) ... I thought this song was about a baby...?
    • Santana proposing to protect Kurt at prom:
    Santana: So, Kurt, I think that you need a full security detail, which the Bully Whips and I would be more than happy to provide you with. You know, like the Hell's Angels when the Rolling Stones performed at Altamont Speedway, I think that went off without a hitch.
  • "Funeral":
    • Kurt: "Jesse St. James totally Jesse St. Sucks."
      • And later:
    Kurt [about Rachel and Jesse]: Correction. You had feelings for him. He made breakfast on your head.
    Jesse [To Finn]: You kinda sing and dance like a zombie who has to poop.
    • When Jesse thanks Santana for auditioning, she snaps at him and wonders why that's all he has to say when he was scribbling on his notepad the whole time. We then get a shot of his notepad, where there's a doodle of a cat.
    • The entirety of Kurt's dance and body movements during "Some People". Made even funnier for better or for worse by the fact that Chris Colfer (Kurt's actor) himself choreographed it.
    • While Rachel is singing "My Man", there's this really random, cheesy, slow-motion cut-away shot of Finn just smiling into the camera for what seems like a good 7 or so seconds.
  • Lauren and Santana's entire (INCREDIBLY one sided) fight. Complete with Santana being dragged away from a somewhat bored Lauren, still screaming and clawing for round two. She is a feisty one!
    Brittany: Stop the violence!
  • From the Glee Live 2011 tour. The beginning skit... Chris Colfer, Darren Criss, and Heather Morris just shine.
    Kurt: Brittany. Are you flirting with my man?
    Brittany: ...Oops.
    • —>Blaine: I've always wanted to do something that the warblers never ever let me do.
    Kurt: (looks up from where he's been sitting on the floor) Wear another blazer?
    • And they've only gotten funnier as time goes on. Chris has admitted on Twitter that he writes the skits and he's trying to make Darren crack. They've escalated to puns on most of the cities/arenas, Oprah Winfrey impressions, pet names, Kurt and Blaine's first adopted child being named Toronto, Kurt's former exotic dancer name being Ontario...if Darren doesn't crack, fandom probably will!
  • "New York":
    • Rachel saying that the person she bought tickets to Cats charged her credit card by swiping it through his butt-crack.
    • "Does this voodoo doll look enough like Rachel Berry?"
    • Brittany's original song, "My Cup." The full version is even better, where the opening lines are basically all Accidental Innuendos.
      • Everyone else's reactions, especially Santana and Mercedes.
    • Will confirming ND's reservation at the hotel.
    Receptionist: It's gonna be tough fitting twelve kids into two rooms.
    Will: Yeah, I'll just split them by gender.
    Receptionist: Wait, are you here for the show-choir competition? Because the other groups split by sexual orientation.
    • What makes this even funnier is that's exactly what happens.
    • Except in hindsight maybe Santana and Brittany should've had different rooms. Then again, it wouldn't have mattered.
    • The guys convincing Finn to ask Rachel out.
    Puck: It's New York, man. It's the city of love.
    Sam: (mouth full of food): I thought that was Paris.
    • In the same conversation, Sam says that if he was in love with a girl and he wasn't homeless, he'd totally go for it.
    • Rachel hears someone throwing up in the bathroom, and immediately assumes it's Santana.
    • Rachel: "All we need now is a group of street singers to serenade or something." Pan to Puck, Sam, Artie, and Mike, who happen to be standing right next to them, and start singing "Bella Notte."
      • What seals the deal is that even when Rachel leaves and Finn is left standing there, dejected, they still feel the need to finish the song.
    • Santana tells Quinn that she and Brittany can cheer her up. Quinn responds that "she isn't that interested in that".
    • The a cappella version of "Yeah." The song itself is Awesome Music, but it's so funny in the show because of how incredibly ironic it is; they're all in these angelic, pure-looking white dresses, grinding and rapping.
      • It's also funny because they all look about forty.
    • Puck and Lauren, after less than ten minute in the hotel, trying to access Happy Hour.
    Puck: I'll have a Manhattan. *Lauren nods*
    Barista: Do you even know what's in a Manhattan?
    Puck: Yeah. Me. For the first time, so I'm gonna celebrate with a cocktail.
    • Right before the CMOH that is "For Good," Kurt and Rachel break into a stage and get noticed by a guard. He sees right through their flimsy excuses.
    Kurt and Rachel: ...Ohio.
    Guard: You have fifteen minutes. (walks away)
    • Santana's going off on Rachel in Gratuitous Spanish in the hotel after their loss while being held back by Quinn, Mike and Sam - translated
    Listen, I'm from Lima Heights Adjacent, and I'm proud. You know what goes down in Lima Heights Adjacent? Bad things!
    • Made funnier by the fact that it's called 'Lima Heights Adjacent', which means it's opposite Lima Heights, thus in the more middle class area. Made evident in 'Britney/Brittany' when Santana says her father is a doctor.
    • One of the top 10 show choirs: The Waffletoots.
    • And no love for the end of Dustin and Will's talk?
    Dustin Goolsby: You're tearing up. People are starting to stare. I bet they think I just broke up with you.
    • Dustin's line to Will:
    Dustin Goolsby: (after Will says he loves his glee kids) They're hideous. At least my kids are attractive. Yours look like they haven't been baked properly.
  • In "Original Song," during Kurt and Blaine's duet at Regionals, look at Puck. He's nearly in tears and seems genuinely moved. Doubles as Heartwarming Moments.
    • Hell, look at Puck during any performance in the latter half of season 2. Each and every single time, he looks moved to tears.
    • Also from "Original Song" - The Warblers unequivocally declaring that There Can Never Be Any Duets Ever No Way No How, only to hear that Blaine wants to duet with Kurt, and immediately doing a one-eighty so fast it makes viewers' heads spin. Complete with Wes smirking as he bangs his gavel. Clearly, the Warblers know what's up.

    Season 3 
  • Quinn quits the Glee Club and gets a punk makeover...and immediately starts hanging out with Bizarro Universe versions of Mercedes, Lauren, and Rachel.
    Rachel: Hello, Quinn. Hello...skanks.
  • Puck's Oh, Crap! in the moments before a food fight starts. "Oh god, no."
  • What does Beiste bring to lunch? An entire chicken.
    • That's a Running Gag that started back in season 2.
    • Yes, but now it's been lampshaded. When Will asks her if she eats a whole chicken every day, she replies that she eats one every meal.
  • Emma finally learns what being turned on feels like.
  • Kurt and Rachel's reaction to seeing a crowd of people exactly like them.
  • Sugar going off on Will in the hall when he tells her she can't join the club.
    Sugar: I worked that song like a hooker pole.
    • Hell, anything Sugar does in this episode. Her song especially, but also her introduction.
    Sugar: I have self-diagnosed Asperger's Syndrome, which means I can say pretty much anything I want.
  • Emma assuming that Kurt and Rachel are dating and pointing out it's the only combination the club hasn't tried. Before handing Kurt a pamphlet entitled Me and My Hag!
  • Brittany has this amazing cross-eyed face in You Can't Stop the Beat that has to be seen to be believed.
  • The Cheerios during Blaine's rendition of "It's Not Unusual". it starts innocent enough, but towards the end you see Santana distracting Blaine so the others can pour lighter fluid on the piano. Quinn flicks a cigarette and boom.
  • Brittany proudly stating that the capital of Ohio is "O," and Will.I.Am is the president.
  • The Unicorn posters. They're
    Santana (to Kurt): These are toned down. Originally, the unicorn was riding you.
  • One of the Skanks threatening to stab a girl with what looks like a plastic spork.
  • Ginger supremacists. Just... Ginger-freaking-supremacists.
    Will: Has anyone told you you're a little bit racist?
  • Burt's Brutal Honesty regarding Kurt's masculinity:
    "You're gay. And not like Rock Hudson gay. I mean really gay. You sing like Diana Ross, and you dress like you own a magical chocolate factory."
  • Kurt's simply magnificent faces when Rory starts hitting high notes.
  • Blaine's facial expressions whenever he sings are hilarious.
  • "She's kind of like Rain Man with boobs."
  • "ANGRY"
  • "Go back to Mexico!" Most of the bullying towards Rory was horrific, but to think someone was stupid enough to mistake an Irish kid for Mexican...
    • At least they managed to correct themselves by the end of the episode.
    Jock: Say U2 is overrated!
    Rory: Never!
  • "Pot O' Gold"'s "How Sue C's It" has such gems as:
    Sue: "If we want to pacify our future Chinese overlords"
    Sue: "2004 dollars, Ohio! That's a years salary for a public school's Math teacher, wasted!"
  • One of Lima's funeral homes is a crematorium, and they double as a pizza parlor.
  • From "The First Time"
    • Artie saying Brittany called him the wrong name during and after sex.
      • Calling him the wrong name alone isn't what makes it funny. Calling him the wrong name four times is.
      • And three guesses what that wrong name is.
    • Santana saying Finn is terrible in bed, describing it as "like being smothered by a sweaty out of breath sack of potatoes that someone soaked in body spray."
    • Drag Queen Wednesday. That is all.
      • Blaine: "It doesn't look very scandalous." Kurt: "Au contraire! Just look at all these... glamorous drag queens. Look, there's Cher, and Tina Turner and... Is that Lucy or Reba?" Blaine: ...That is Ginger from Gilligan's Island."
    • Brittany lost her virginity at summer camp. Alien Invasion.
  • From "Mash Off": Santana telling Rachel that her mustache is thicker than a Middle Eastern dictator's.
    • Puck saying a reason he and the sub teacher should get together is that he's hot and she's hot.
    • Also him standing by his locker so he can catch Shelby's eye, then booking it across the school and throwing a nerd out of the way to stand by his locker so he can catch her eye again. Her reaction is nothing short of Flat "What".
    • Though Santana's insults are undoubtedly cruel, most of them are also bloody hilarious.
    • Sue's political ads.
    • "You're skinny, like all the crops on your family's farm died!"
    • The entirety of Hot for Teacher.
    • How Brittany's reception during her campaign speech changed instantly when she pledged to go topless on Thursday. Ecstatic cheering from everyone. What you missed though was Santana then threatening to go Lima Heights Adjacent on the entire school.
  • From "I Kissed A Girl":
    Kurt: If I want to win I'll have to pull a JFK.
    Rachel: You're going to shoot Brittany?!
    • A Funny Background Event when Finn finishes singing "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun": Finn has just finished singing and Santana is crying. It's a very sweet emotional moment. In the back row, Sugar grabs Mercedes around the neck and Mercedes' response is an eye-rolling WTF?
    • Puck writing in "Ross Perot" also qualifies.
    • "Student Council Elections" and "REAL ELECTION". Also, contrast the length of the queues.
  • From "Hold On To Sixteen": Finn, upon seeing Sam, as a stripper, on stage in just boxers. "That's an image I'm never gonna be able to get out of my mind."
    • Rachel's reaction is better. "Give me a dollar."
    • "I didn't know Backdraft was a musical."
    • "Red Solo Cup." Kurt's facial expressions are hilarious. Especially when he looks at Blaine and mouths "What wrong with you?!"
    • "You smell like Craigslist." 'Nuff said.
    • Also this brilliant exchange:
    ""Kurt"": I don't like the way you talk to my boyfriend, I don't like your smirky little meerkat face, I don't like your obnoxious CW hair. I'm on to you.' becomes Hilarious in Hindsight when you consider where Sebastian's actor ended up.
    • And Santana's long and incredibly creative list of Trouty Mouth jokes directly after the song.
    • She kept said list in a little notebook in case Sam ever came back. Also doubles as a Heartwarming Moment when you realize that she probably made the list because she hoped that Sam would return.
    • Santana saying that even she felt something stirring in her "lady loins" when she saw Sam.
    • Mike tells his dad that he missed the application deadlines for the dance colleges. Tina then tells him that she already sent them all in just in case his dad changed his mind. Though she kinda had to forge his signature.
    • Finn finds Blaine giving a rather thorough beat down to a punching bag. Blaine explains that, due to his bullying he took up boxing. Not funny. The funny part - "I also started the Dalton branch of fight club. Which I obviously can't talk about."
    • Slightly meta, but this review of the episode, told entirely from the perspective of Michael Chang Sr.
  • "It's not Christmas without Chewbacca!"
    • The dream itself is pants-wettingly hilarious.
    • "Mike Chang and Tina Cohen-Chang, no relation!"
  • The Glee Holiday Spectacular. Every. Last. Part. Special mention goes to the frequent mugging, Kurt and Blaine's unusual euphemisms for "boyfriend", the Laugh Track, the Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness, the acting, the "jokes" and all of the references about The Star Wars Holiday Special (including Finn and Puck as characters eerily reminiscent of Luke Skywalker and Han Solo).
    • You can just tell that Chris Colfer and Darren Criss are desperately trying not to laugh at Kurt's (overre-)acting, from forgetting to turn on the oven to going "Christmas is cancelled!" over being outbid on a necklace.
  • Finn's gift to Rachel is a pig which is sent to a family in Africa, so they can fatten it up and eat it.
    Rachel: You got me a dead pig for Christmas?
    Finn: It's not dead yet. They have to fatten it up first.
  • Rachel knows Finn doesn't know what to get her for Christmas, leading to this exchange:
    Finn: Who told you?! Was it Kurt?
    Rachel: No!
    Kurt [breezing past]: Yes.
  • In the Christmas episode the meeting where Sue is asking Artie, Kurt and Blaine to get New Directions to sing to the homeless. Blaine's facial expressions especially were hilarious.
  • "Yes/No": Sam and Finn's discussion about synchronized swimming. Sam: "Swimming is sexy!" Finn: (muttering) "Not if its synchronized!"
    • Roz to Sam: "I've never seen big lips like yours on a white guy and one of your nipples is higher than the other!" *Sam crosses arms over chest*
    • Becky's voiceover voice is Dame Helen Mirren.
    • And Becky apparently sexting Artie.
    • Burt, Finn, Carole and Will talking about Finn's plan to enlist in the army.
    Burt: You know what I want. I'm gonna need someone to take over the shop, while I'm in DC, and if I let your brother do it, he'll have all the grease monkeys wearing white dinner jackets. [Will hides a smile, and Finn cracks up laughing.]
    • "Screw this, I'm getting a whole cheesecake." *Kurt raises his hand and clicks his fingers*
      • And then, to Rachel, "Make that two cheesecakes." *Kurt clicks his fingers again*
    • Sue's congratulatory "I have been bested; I'll just have to call David Boreanaz," speech after Coach Beiste reveals that she and Cooter eloped.
    • The kids try to guess the weeks assignment by sounding out the letters as Schue writes them on the board. "!" "Question mark!"
    • Artie rolling his wheelchair into the pool. Funnier than it sounds.
  • "I taped this to my under-boob. If Kurt had taped it to his junk, we never would've heard the end of it. We'd have had a week of songs about it."
    • Let's all be honest here: just the word "under-boob" was hilariously unexpected.
  • Every time someone asked Sue "with whose vagina?". It was mean, but damn, it was unexpected.
    "Sue, you can't have no baby. You are old as a hill. You won't give birth to no child, you gonna give birth to a grandchild. You gonna get in them stirrups, and you gonna push and push, and a full grown adult is gonna pop out with a briefcase and a job, talking on a cell phone. [...] What you need to do is wake up and smell the menopause. You are done as coach, and all the hormones in Thailand can't change the fact that you are done as a woman. What you need to do is start praying that you give birth to a child that likes to eat sand, because that's all that's coming out those old wrinkly boobs."
    • Will's Spanish speaking abilities.
      • Will- "Where are you all gonna be in 30 years?" Rachel and Kurt- "Broadway! Twinsies." What's funny is that when they say "twinsies", they sound so bored.
    • The entire club's reaction to David. Especially Puck, who looks back and forth during David and Santana's performance of "La Isla Bonita", as if he can't figure out who to ogle.
      • It looked like Puck was high and the laser beams were tripping him out.
      • What about when he asked if he could perform before "Sexy and I Know It"? And the way Kurt said "Oh God, yes please," and then during the performance, Kurt tries to be all prim and proper before he eventually just lets it all out and joins the others.
      • This little part: Rachel: Cutest. Sugar: Smile. Artie: Ever (realizes what he just said.)
    • Emma's pamphlets to help Mercedes and Sam: "So You're a Two-Timing Ho" and "So You're Dating a Two-Timing Ho".
    • 'Please Don't Hog My Fiance's Nog.' That is all.
    • Santana's reaction to seeing Brittany and Mike run across the stage dressed as bulls during Mr. Schue's flamboyant performance is gold.
    • There's also Artie and Sugar's obvious enjoyment during the whole performance and then there's everybody else's different reactions.
  • Heart: Rory and Artie one-upping each other to win over Sugar. Also Sugar hiding presents under everybody's seats. Everybody's.
    Sugar: Except you, Artie. Your chair moves so your surprise is in the [wastebasket/potted plant] over there
    • Puck with chocolate all over his face: "I found mine ten minutes ago."
    • Brittany and Santana's almost kiss scene, when Figgins appears out of no where and yells "TEEN LESBIAAAAAANS."
      • It's short, but when Santana is complaining about the lack of complaints regarding Finn and Rachel kissing, it gives a brief short of her with a look of pure disgust.
      • Also, Figgins' comment immediately afterward:
    Figgins: Believe me, I'd much rather see you and Santana kiss than the so-called Finchel.
    • Love Shack. The Chewing the Scenery from EVERY SINGLE CAST MEMBER is simply epic.
    • In the same number, Blaine offers Kurt the mic, and he refuses, only to pull out his own microphone.
    • Every scene in the Berry household. The cherry on top is Rachel's routine.
    • Rory realizes that he'll have to compete with Artie over Sugar.
    Rory: This is a four-leaf clover. I'm going to give it to you, because you need all the luck you can get.
    Kurt: Do you people just carry those around?
    • The God Squad's discussion on 'Is Gay Okay?' turns into one of these pretty quickly. For one thing, Sam wastes no time in pointing out the elephant in the room.
    Sam: Well, three out of four of us are in Glee club, which means we kinda sing to gay people every day.
    • And then later:
    Mercedes: One in ten people is gay, which means one of the disciples was probably gay. I think it's Simon, because it's the gayest sounding name.
    Quinn: Jesus never said anything about gay people. It's a fact.
    Sam: Maybe he didn't want to hurt Simon's feelings.
  • It might turn out to be less funny later, but Nick's line of, "That's- exactly what it looked liked," is funny due to his utter sarcasm in the face of Dave's complete lack of subtlety.
  • The reveal that Lord Tubbington is addicted to Ecstasy.
  • The Berrys and Hudson-Hummels discussing how the Finn-Rachel wedding is a terrible idea. And their plans to stop it.
    Carole: And once he puts his mind to something, there is no getting him off of it.
    Hiram: Same with Rachel. At this point, even Patti LuPone herself couldn't talk her out of marrying Finn.
    Leroy: Barbra could.
    Hiram: Maybe Barbra...
    Burt: Who's Barbra?
    Carole: Streisand.
    Hiram: But, since Babs is probably shopping in her private underground mall right now (you know she has her own mall?) Here's what we're gonna do. When the justice of the peace says "Does anybody here object?"
    Burt: Yeah, hell yeah! I do!
    Hiram: We all say "We do!" with feeeeeeeling. Burt, you will run interference with Finn. Carole, you will distract the Justice of the Peace with your feminine wiles. I will hustle Rachel out the side door and into our waiting car where you, Leroy, will drive (I don't drive) straight to Broadway. And if that doesn't start to get our baby girl back on her career track, I don't know what will. Are we agreed?
    • And later.
    Burt: If you're gonna do something, do it now.
    Hiram: New plan. I'm gonna fake an epileptic seizure.
    Leroy: You're not an epileptic.
    Hiram: That's why I'm gonna fake it.
    • BTW, to add to the hilarity, Hiram and Leroy? Jeff Goldblum & Brian Stokes Mitchell.
  • Brad the piano player's silent fist pump when Sue throws Mercedes' phone away and smashes it.
    • Cooper's Acting "Master Class". ALL OF IT. Blaine's increasing exasperation makes it just that much better.
      • "I'm sorry, are you talking to me? I couldn't tell, because you're not POINTING AND SHOUTING!" (paraphrased).
  • Kurt's reaction to the first appearance of Cooper Anderson.
  • In "Saturday Night Glee-ver", Brittany releases a a sex tape of her an Santana, which is kinda funny and kinda creepy. Except she spiced it up by adding clips of Lord Tubbington doing household chores, which makes it hilarious.
    • And Sue talking about her own sex tape.
    My goodness, sex tapes are a dime a dozen these days. I myself made a sex tape with Oliver North. It wasn't very popular, probably because we released it on Betamax.
    • A special nod goes to the Narmtastic disco performances and truly cringe-worthy falsettos, too.
  • In "Dance With Somebody", Kurt and Blaine's conversation in Emma's office. It turns out Kurt has been slipping bronzer in Blaine's lotion, because he'd "look better with a little color." Only, it turns out Blaine only uses the lotion on his hands, and "It looks weird when a person just has tan hands, Kurt!"
    • Another Funny Moment from Kurt and Blaine's couple therapy. When Kurt defends himself, saying that he already told Blaine how he felt through song, Emma discreetly tucks away one of her special pamphlets: "Say Sorry With A Song."
    • The fact that the 'therapy session' starts out with this conversation basically sets the comedic tone for all of the above:
    Blaine: Are you... qualified... for that [couples counseling]?
    Emma: Well, not really... (offhandedly) or... at all... but Sam and Mercedes came to talk to me and you know I - I think they found it pretty helpful.
    Blaine: ...Yeah... I'm - I'm pretty sure they broke up...
    Emma: Gosh, they seem like such a good fit too, right?
    • Brittany feels bad about Quinn not being able to dance with her during "I Wanna Dance With Somebody"
    Brittany: And Quinn, you're still dancing in my dreams. And you can also fly and breath fire.
    • Before the aforementioned couples' therapy with Emma, Blaine publicly chews out Kurt when he finds out about Chandler and Kurt's texts. His method of humiliation? Singing "It's Not Right, But It's Okay," in front of the entire Glee club. As the song begins, the camera switches between Blaine singing, Kurt defending his actions with an 'I-can't-believe-you're-doing-this' face, and the various other glee club members' expressions, ranging from Mike's plain incredulous face to Will's '...Oh God more teenage drama' face. The conflict between Kurt and Blaine aside, it becomes hard to tell what the writers want us to laugh at more; Blaine and Kurt's over-the-top ways of dealing with their fight, or everyone else's expressions in the background.
  • "Choke": Kurt's So Bad, It's Good performance of "Music Of The Night"
    • To elaborate: While Kurt has a gorgeous voice, he fails completely at conveying the smoldering, dangerous, seductive sexuality that is the hallmark of the stage Phantom. It's just so utterly campy and corny it becomes delightful.
      • And poor Tina, his Christine, keeps having to follow him around the stage looking like a robot because he keeps moving around!
      • It's an hilariously overdone parody of Sarah Brightman's infamously affect-less Christine.
    • Rory and Artie get headaches after "The Rain in Spain" due to excessive head banging.
    • Finn's drawing of a bush that looks like a bear.
    Blaine: Am I hiding behind a bear?
    Finn: It's not a bear, it's a bush.
    Blaine: It looks like a bear.
    Rory: Maybe it's a shrub.
    • Kurt thinking of ways to make his performance better, including singing in German and performing in the nude. He also considers adding more candles to the stage.
    Blaine: Oh God, no. No more candles.
  • Roz and Sue. Just Roz and Sue.
    • Roz's nicknames for Brittany, Tina, Mercedes, Sugar and Santana are particularly hilarious.
    Roz: Shannon, write these names down as placeholders: Hat Rack, Asian Horror Movie, Little Oprah, Rojo Caliente, Salsa Caliente.
  • "What're you looking at, Jar Jar Binks?"
    • The Prom theme: Dinosaurs. Brittany was inspired by the new girl Joe, who reminds her of a cavewoman.
    • Mike geeking out seeing all of the dinosaurs.
    • Blaine without hair gel, and everybody's reaction to it.
  • Finn as Kurt and Puck as Blaine in "Props", which even includes them cuddling and holding hands.
    • Also in "Props", after Santana, Brittany, and Mercedes find out that Coach Beiste is still with her abusive husband they confront her in the teachers lounge. When a teacher tries to stop them from coming in, what does Santana say as a retort? It's a hate crime because she and Brittany are lesbians and Mercedes is black. There's just something about Santana's bluntness that makes the line oddly funny.
    • Everything about that bit. Artie as Santana and Mercedes as Brittany, etc.
    "I can't attend practice. I have to bail Lord Tubbington out of jail because he pawned my iPod for drugs."
    • Brittany summing up her role as Mercedes with one simple word of agreement.
    • The flashback of Kurt and Blaine going as Snooki and The Situation for Halloween, complete with the spray-tan.
  • Burt Hummel, Congressman, mechanic, and general awesome dude's graduation present to his son. He explains that he felt like, after his first wife died, their relationship was a bit on stumbling blocks because he didn't know how to relate to his son - until he saw Kurt doing the Single Ladies dance. Cue Brittany and Tina coming out and backing him up to do the number just like they'd done for Kurt. Also counts as a massive Heartwarming Moment.
  • Mercedes jokes that they should just lock the choir room doors and stay there forever.
    Brittany: We could use the wastebasket for a toilet. And we can eat Joe because she's been here the shortest and we know her the least.
  • Another great Lord Tubbington moment:
    Brittany: I'm not talking to you. I know you joined a gang. (LT is wearing a leather jacket and cap).
  • Blaine's (and oftentimes Burt Hummel's also) reactions to... just about everything. At most times, these seem to be the only two characters who are aware that they're on the crazy train with the McKinley students and all their antics. Blaine seems to take it all in semi-amused stride, with occasional "THIS IS NOT NORMAL." moments, while Burt is in constant disbelief.
  • A background CMOF happens during 'Goodbye', in the scene where Mr. Schuester and Finn talk in his office. When Mr. Schue admits to planting weed in Finn's locker the first day, the camera briefly zooms in on his notice board, where there's an article reading, "Priority #1- Help the Kids."

    Season 4 
  • The competition for The New Rachel, with Brittany, Blaine, Tina, and Wade fighting over the lines to 'Call me Maybe', shoving each other out of the way, and Blaine changing his final pose about three times in the space of a second.
    • And then Blaine wins, prompting this response from Brittany.
    Brittany: I had a song in my heart Blaine Warbler, and now that song is dead. And soon the corpse of my dead heart song is going to smell.
  • Sue's daughter Robin, whose name reminds her of "spring, new beginnings, and [her] favorite dead BeeGee".
  • Unique's reaction to being slushied: "Unique's eyes...They are on Fire!" (all done in her sassy voice)
  • "Now I know how Jesus feels in his house at the North Pole."
  • Also from 'Britney 2.0':
    Blaine: Brittany...who are you talking to?
    Brittany: I thought I was doing a voiceover.
  • Setenta sized coffee: 70 oz of expresso.
  • Puck's Badass Boast to Jake was pretty hilarious punctuated by, "I had my first threesome at seven and I once punched out a police horse!"
  • "Separation of power!!!"
    • Blaine inserting a rant about Brittany not letting him use his hair gel at the prom into his speech for class president as if that were the first step to the end of democracy was a hilarious little tie in to his comment back in the prom episode that hair-care-product-usage is a constitutionally protected right.
      • "It leads to burning books, which probably leads to burning people."
    • A super hero sidekick appreciation club exists at McKinley apparently. Cue Blaine jumping around in a knockoff Robin suit. (The fact that the club exists and yet Glee club is still bottom of the social pecking order might also be considered one.)
      • The club later becomes the focus of "Dynamic Duets" four episodes later. It was a beautiful site.
  • Kurt's reaction to Finn walking into the kitchen in "The Break-Up":
    Kurt: I'm gonna take this down to the park and watch drug deals go down.
    • Left Behind club. That is all. And, during the discussion of the rapture during the club.
    Marley: Aren't you half Jewish?
    Jake: Yeah?
    Marley: So would you ascend into the heavens half as fast?
    • Also during the left behind club, while Kitty is speaking, we get a brief shot of Joe, who just looks spectacularly unimpressed.
    • When Finn returned to McKinley, his old friends are extremely happy to see him, but newbies Jake and Marley are not so impressed:
    Jake: Do you know who that is? (Marley shrugs)
  • In "The Role You Were Born To Play", Sue's "The Reason You Suck" Speech to Marley and Unique.
    • Kitty is not happy with her role:
    Kitty: Patty Simcox?! Patty Simcox?!?! Who the Hell is Patty Simcox?! I don't understand why this happened, I prayed really hard.
    Joe: Maybe God's busy helping people with cancer.
    Blaine nods in agreement.
    Kitty: Shut up, Avatar.
    • Sam wants to be Kenickie in Grease because he was hit by car door in real life and wants to recreate the experience.
    • Ryder gets a bad grade on a test.
    Ryder: Again?! I don't do anything but study! I haven't even seen The Dark Knight Rises yet.
    Teacher: Oh, it was good. Bane was hard to understand but so evil.
    • Figgins initially believes that Unique is biologically female.
    Figgins: Unique Adams is nothing more than a buxom young woman who's got it going on in all the right places. She's a brick house!
  • In "Glease", Will announces that he's taking a sabbatical to fight for the arts in Washington, and is therefore leaving the club.
    Sugar: But who's gonna drive the bus?!
    Marley: ...he died?
  • "Dynamic Duets": Finn in a sweater vest...that is all.
    • The plot of the episode was the kids dressing as superheroes. The entire episode is a CMOF.
    Sugar: *serious* I'm Sweet 'n' Spicy. *happy* And my power is money!
    • Kitty seemingly pulling a whip out from Joe's dreads. He doesn't seem to be aware how it got there in the first place.
    • Hunter Clarington, new captain of the Warblers, is "not even remotely bi-curious." Which gives the implication that the same cannot be said for the rest of the team.
      • His introduction itself: the cat, the Evil Laugh, making the Warblers act like minions.
    • Finn breaking the tip off of the dry erase pen.
    • The club gives Finn a utility belt filled with things to help him be their new coach. One of the items inside is a Barbie doll head.
    Brittany: That's from me. You're welcome.
  • From "Thanksgiving", when Brody shows Rachel how to butter a turkey in a manner similar to Ghost (1990)
    Kurt: Well, if you two are finished using that [turkey] for a courtship ritual...
  • Ryder explains to Jake that he learns by figuring out the basics of something and doing it 500 times before he gets it right.
    Jake: So did you screw 500 apple pies before you had sex?
    Ryder: That's exactly what happened, but I wore a condom so that I didn't make a bunch of apple fritters.
  • Santana getting cut off right before saying "handjob" in reference to Finn's dancing.
  • Blaine's subtle "we're doing this?" expression during the prayer circle.
  • Swan Song, Brad HATES those kids!
    • Brad speaking is hilarious as it is.
    • And the fact that they finally lampshade how he's supposed to know whatever song the kids are thinking of.
  • Calling out the Brittana bloggers.
  • Sam has a freaking Chapstick rack in his locker. Had to pause to laugh.
  • Joe: "I joined the Inter-Faith Paintball League, where Christians, Jews and Muslims can shoot at each other safely."
  • Terri and Artie's interaction in Glee, Actually.
    Artie: That's a doll.
    Terri: He's too drunk to notice.
  • Burt and Blaine betting on how long Kurt can pretend to watch basketball with them on Christmas Day.
    • Kurt lasts 20 seconds.
  • This bit from Glee, Actually:
    Millie: I want to thank you for what you did for Marley and me.
    Sue: I don't know what you're talking about. I had nothing to do with that film.
  • Sue's completely spot-on guess of what Marley's thanking would involve:
    Millie: Would you come with me? Marley wanted to say thank-you too.
    Sue: Does this involve the Glee Club singing a Christmas song in the auditorium with snow falling on an elaborate winter scene?
    • Millie's sheepish "Well..." expression and Sue's "Oh God, not another one" expression right after that.
  • In "Sadie Hawkins", Tina's love song going completely over Blaine's head. Completed by his slowly dawning horrified expression when she flat-out says his name.
    • Her song montage included Blaine sneaking behind the serving counter in the lunchroom to give Sam and Tina bigger portions (and throwing his hands up with the biggest 'I didn't do anything' expression when the lunch lady returns to shoo him) and Tina checking out his ass in math class.
  • As the girls start asking the guys out for the dance, Ryder is basically silently stalked by Neckbrace Cheerio. It must've worked, though, since they're at the dance together.
  • Puck's entire speech to Kitty is pretty much the writers giving the censors the double-bird.
  • "Baby Got Back" performed as a show choir ballad was absolutely hysterical.
  • Hunter's temper tantrum at the Lima Bean caused by his 'roid rage.
    Hunter: What the hell is this? Did you put Splenda in my latte? (throwing stuff around) You're a barista! You don't think!
    Sam: Here comes the biscotti throw.
    Hunter: (still throwing things) You need to remember like six things, and one of them is that the sugar comes in the brown packets, and the Splenda is in the yellow! I freaking hate Splenda! It tastes like- like pencils! Why are you putting pencils IN MY LATTE?!
  • In "Naked", Kurt's entire reaction to Brody walking around the apartment naked. From his facial expressions to "He is sitting his bare ass on my vintage flea market chair!"
    • During Jake's performance of "Let Me Love You" Kitty looks bored out of her mind.
    • The news report stating that the Warblers' win has been revoked due to their steroid usage.
    Reporter: Mr. Clarington, what do you have to say about the steroid allegations?
    Hunter: I look forward to my day in court. Until then, I have no comment.
    Another reporter: Uh, what about the report that you look way too old to still be in high school?
  • In "Diva", there's a brief shot of Finn pouring sugar into his coffee without even looking to see how much.
    • It's a funny call back to his first sip of coffee after becoming head of the glee club. Apparently he thinks pumping it full of sugar will now make it bearable.
    • Sue offered Santana her position for after she dies. Santana states that it won't be too long "pretty soon [she'll] start putting ricin in [Sue's] protein shakes".
    • Rachel tells Kurt to audition for Fanny Brice with complete seriousness.
    • When Tina is given the "Diva Award" and confetti is sprayed in celebration, you can see Kitty in the background, clearly annoyed that most of the confetti is ending up on her.
    • Sue lampshades the plot-hole of how frequently the graduates show up.
      Sue: What is with you glee club ex-pats? Don't you have jobs? You have to have some source of income so you can pay the staff of scientists who service your teleporters that you all clearly own since you're constantly showing up here!
      • Granted, Santana is more understandable than the others, since Louisville is closer to Lima compared to New York, Massachusetts, LA, and wherever Mike's school is, and she has her mom's nest egg to pay for the trips.
    • "There are a lot of badass Asian divas out there. Lucy Liu, Bai Li, BD Wong..."
  • "Did you vapo-rape my ex-boyfriend?"
    • Marley to Ryder as he nervously taps his foot against the ground.
    Marley: Okay, what is going on with you? Did you get more of those 11-hour energy shots? Because there's a reason they're illegal in Canada.
    Ryder (quickly): Nothing's going on, what could be going on, it's history class. *smiles*
  • "Girls (and Boys) on Film"
    • Sugar is an absolute goldmine in this episode.
    Sugar: We should do The Artist so we don't have to sing!
    Sugar (later): I hope they mash-up Batdance with Howard the Duck!
    • When Will tells the kids they'll be doing movie songs:
    Kitty: (to Marley) You don't get dibs on 'Les Mis' just because you are the poster.
    • Finn and Artie convince Emma's parents to give up her location by posing as members of an anti-ginger bullying club. Complete with wigs.
      • Even funnier when you that Emma's parents clearly don't recognize Finn with the copper wig despite that Finn was the best man at their daughter's wedding.
      • And Gingers are supposed to smell like copper.
      • Maybe they had a bunch of pennies in their pockets?
    • Santana announces that the first thing she did after moving into Kurt and Rachel's apartment was root through every pocket and drawer. Because she was bored. Bonus for the audience seeing just how thorough and messy her search was, and yet nobody even knew it had happened until she told them.
    • There's also her epic takedown of Brody, which contains several great lines.
    • Kitty's idea of an apology was priceless:
    Kitty: I have a confession to make. For the past six months I've said behind your back and in front of your face that you're poor and fat and mousey and boring and that you dress like Zack Galifianakis. I apologize.
    • This exchange:
    Jake: I am singing your favorite song from your favorite romantic movie.
    Marley: (jokingly) The Hunger Games?
    • "I felt like a gay horror movie was unfolding before my eyes."
  • From "Feud", after Kurt and Rachel evict Santana from the apartment and she gathers up her things and leaves.
    Rachel: Pretty sure she just took my comforter.
    Kurt: Bitch stole my pillow.
    • Sue's Nicki Minaj impression. All of it.
  • "Guilty Pleasures"
    • Kurt buys a pillow shaped like an arm and half a torso to help himself sleep. Later he buys ones for Santana and Rachel, and gives Santana's a sex-change.
    • After telling Blaine that he's fine with his gay crush, Sam hugs the other boy.
    Blaine: Oh, yeah, they're breath mints actually. You want one?
    Sam: Yeah, sure, thanks.
    • And Tina's "exploits" with Blaine seem to have spread around the school...
    Tina: Mr. Schue is out with the flu this week.
    Sam: Hey, just curious, are you gonna go over to his house and straddle him while he's passed out, rub some ointment on his chest?
    Tina: That was a phase.
    Artie: I applaud your courage, especially in such a Spice-phobic time! Especially you, Kitty. Actually, I don't think I've ever seen you so... So...
    Kitty: (gives him a flirty smile) So...?
    Artie: (obviously flustered) ...happy, to be part of the team.
    • In several Freeze-Frame Bonus moments during "Wannabe", the drummer is rolling his eyes during the entire song.
  • "Shooting Star"
    • Ryder and Jake are guessing who is catfishing Ryder, and Jake guesses Brad the piano player. Y'know, the guy whose only words that ever came out of his mouth were how much he actually hates the Glee kids.
    • Will sets up a profile for coach Beiste on a dating site, and the first person to message her is... Ken Tanaka, her predecessor from Season 1.
  • "Sweet Dreams"
    • Tina literally can't remember if she's still in the Cheerios or not.
    • Becky continues her streak of breaking xylophones. They seem to magically appear in Becky's way when she's angry.
    • Blaine tries to explain to Mr. Schuester that the New Directions have gotten together to come up with a new setlist.
    Will: (in a coolly dangerous voice) Why would you do that?
    Cue Unique taking out one of her fake breasts and offering it to Blaine
    Unique: Ooooh, you might need some woman parts to help you sell that.
  • "Lights Out"
    • Roz Washington. Just... Roz Washington.
    Roz: And that is why you've all signed up with Dr. Fong to get a couple of those fatty ribs removed for flexibility!
    • And again, to Becky:
    Roz: Maybe the fact that you grew from an itty-bitty fetus into a full-size adult in less than a calendar year has made you cocky, Robin Sylvester, but around here, we like our protein shakes to taste like human food and not some crazy peanut butter stem cell sauce that you cooked up on your Island of Dr. Moreau!
    • Anything and everything about the speech she makes Blaine and Becky repeat. Especially Blaine's "WTF" face as he does it.
  • "Wonder-ful":
    • Mercedes talking to Jake about harnessing his full potential:
    Mercedes: Look, Jesus wrote in the Bible somewhere, "Do not hide your light under a bushel." You gotta let it shine. Are you gonna argue with our Lord and Savior Jesus?
    Jake: I mean, I'm Jewish...
    Mercedes: That's okay, so was he!
  • "All or Nothing":
    • Brittany returns from her appointment at MIT with a serious Diva attitude and starts bashing on every member of the Glee club. It's either a CMOF or really, really disturbing (or a little bit of both.)
      • The entire MIT plotline, especially if you have seen Brittany's ditzier moments.
    • Sam calls Santana. Her response?
    Santana: Did hell just freeze over or did you just white chocolate butt-dial me?
    Brittany: Welcome back to Fondue For Two. Tonight’s guests are two sworn enemies, who became friends, then became enemies again, then became friends again, then enemies and then everybody stopped caring.
    • The identity of the celebrity father of Sue's baby is revealed:
    Sue: And just in case you're wondering, Michael Bolton is a fantastic lover. We did it all night, Will. We did it every which way.
    • A mix between a CMOH and this, during Brittany's farewell speech to the New Directions.
    Brittany: Mike Chang, Blaine, and Jim, you all are like my brothers.
    Joe: (teary eyed) My name is Joe.
    • Additionally, she keeps up her streak of referring to Unique as Mercedes, and Unique doesn't even care anymore.

    Season 5 
  • "Love, Love, Love"
    • Several kids quipping about the lives of The Beatles, except for Unique.
    Unique: I don't know too much about The Beatles, I'm a little on the black side.
    • Blaine holds a meeting with Ryder, Sam, and Jake about helping cheer up Tina. The other three boys get distracted talking about the delicious cakes she was eating.
    • Followed soon after by the four of them posing as Paul, Ringo, George, and "half-black" John Lennon - complete with spot-on accents and the girls squeeing over them dressed as 60s teenagers.
    • Kitty complaining about the school year never ending.
    • The moments after we're introduced to the new Alpha Bitch Bree.
    Artie: She seems nice.
    Kitty: She's a stone cold bitch and she's out to destroy me.
    Artie: Oh.
    • When the New Directions kids and the Vocal Adrenaline run in to the Haverbrook School's choir practice during "Help!" one of the kids turns to one of his friends and deadpan snarks "Oh, great, it's those McKinley nerds again!"
  • "Tina In The Sky With Diamonds":
    • When Artie gets nominated for Prom King, you can briefly see a "how did this happen?" look on his face.
    • Kitty gets nominated for Queen. Her response:
    Kitty: But I'm a sophomore.
    • Though Sue explains that all proms this year have been merged into a giant, mutant, "Brundleprom".
    • Tina begins a solo of "Revolution". During the middle of it, the bell rings and the entire class gets up to leave, cutting the solo short.
    Tina: Really?
    • Sue gives Will an extremely long-winded, extremely hilarious explanation of why she is making the whole school get vaccinated. Among other things, it involves a documentary she saw about FDR and the fact that Mercedes just visited Lima after being in Los Angeles, which has just experienced an outbreak of meningitis.
    • When campaign posters are put up supporting Kitty for Prom Queen, the Glee club angrily confronts her, reminding her that she agreed to support Tina. Despite her denials of this, no one believes her, not even Artie. She has this to say about it:
    Kitty: Why does no one believe me? *Beat* Oh right, habitual liar.
    Santana: I want yeast in my bagel. Not in my muffin. *laughing with bagel*
    • It's then followed up by her producers paying her entirely in Yeast-i-stat. And later her male manager at the diner stealing a box of it.
    • Bree's incredibly long and vicious speech about how Kitty needs to run for prom queen this year lest another glee member wins again, complete with seamless transitions between her normal bitchy tone and a cute bubbly voice meant to emulate Kitty.
    • Bree's speech is in itself a parody (almost) word for word of the Rabid Sorority girl letter.
    • Sue naming the nominees for Prom Queen.
    Sue: Neckbrace Cheerio, Asian Number One, Kitty I-Forget-Your-Last-Name, and…some other chick.
    • Sue's disbelief that Bree is a cheerio, stating that she's sure she would've remembered a black girl on the team since "we don't see many of those".
      • Everything Sue says during this speech melds Funny, Awesome, Heartwarming — She wants Bree to go after New Directions because she thinks that having adversity to overcome will bring out the best in them. — and Refuge in Audacity "Chocolate Cheerio," anyone?
  • "The Quarterback". Yes, even this episode provided some moments of levity.
    • Kurt and Sue plant a memorial tree for Finn, but it's stolen the next day by Puck. Later, he and Beiste are having a heart to heart and it comes out that he stole the tree.
    Beiste: You gotta promise to put the tree back
    Puck: I didn't take the tree. *Beat* Fine, I took the tree. It was a garbage tree though, it wasn't big enough.
    Beiste: ...they grow, you know?
    • Also from Puck and Beiste, when he lashes out in the locker room and knock over a trolley.
    Beiste: Y'know, Finn would've kicked over one of my chairs.
    Puck: That was his specialty.
    • Not to mention the quote under Finn's memorial portrait.
    The show must go... all over the place... or something.
  • "A Katy or a Gaga" is pretty much a living, breathing crowning moment of funny
    • Merely the sight of the guys trying to pull of Lady Gaga's outfits from Applause. It works for some, but for others it's hilariously awkward.
    • Tina, Kitty, and Unique try to bring Gaga's theatrical aspects into their performance of a Katy song, which involves plans to steal live tigers from the zoo. Later:
    Unique: I tried to break into the Lima Zoo to get us live tigers but - PLOT TWIST! Lima doesn't have a zoo! Why did we think it did?!
    • Really the whole episode can be summed up in one quote:
    Kitty: We are a bunch of Gagas trying to out-Katy the Katys who just did a Gaga song featuring Marley as Katy!
    • Bree's caution-tape Gaga outfit as an attempt to mess with the club, and Sue's flabbergasted reaction to it. They then go on to preemptively lampshade how ridiculous it is that the entire club will be referring to themselves as "Katys" and "Gagas" throughout the whole week.
    • Sam gets mad at Marley for not wearing her Gaga costume during the performance because she wasn't comfortable with it.
      Sam: Well get over yourself! You think I’m just comfortable up here with no shirt on?
      Marley: Uh, yeah. You probably are.
    • Unique's take down of Bree, including calling her a "penis-flytrap".
    • The new rival show choir is Throat Explosion. And apparently they're great enough to elicit a Big "NO!" from Tina.
    • When Sam and Penny are talking about the mainstream stuff they like.
      Penny: I still like the Jonas Brothers/
      Sam: Me too! And the Biebs!
      Penny: No.
    • Jake dressed up like a Cats reject.
      Jake: Seriously, I look like a gay ThunderCat
    • When Kurt meets Elliot at the diner he works at, they start talking and Elliot mentions he's going to college in the city, leading to Kurt asking about it.
      Kurt: Do you go to NYADA too?"
      Elliot: No, NYU. I... didn't get into NYADA.
      Kurt: ...what?
  • "The End of Twerk"
    • Sue very bluntly telling Will about Blurred Lines: "You know that song is about date rape, don't you?"
    • Most of the twerking, whether they were successes or failures.
    • Will decides to throw a Sue Sylvester-style temper tantrum, which gets Becky riled up enough to destroy another xylophone.
    • Sue telling Will she installed a unisex bathroom for Unique to use... only to be revealed it's a port-a-potty bolted down to the floor in the choir room. Unique says she feels like she's in a nightmare, and then Tina walks out of it:
    Blaine: [disgusted] Tina! How could you?
    Tina: What? It's convenient. Jeez, get your priorities straight.
    • And later:
    Will: Unique doesn't need to use the port-a-potty.
    Tina: There's nothing wrong with the port-a-potty! [gets into it]
  • "Puppet Master"
    • Blaine arriving in glee club before everyone else:
    Brad:You're early.
    Blaine: Gaah! Brad! Jeez, you scared the crap outta me! Next time warn me when you talk!
    • And then Brad starts talking about his online gambling addiction and his house getting foreclosed, but Blaine ignores it and bitches about the club not respecting his ideas.
    • Blaine singing "You're My Best Friend" while the title of the episode is taken to its logical conclusion.
  • "Previously Unaired Christmas"
    Blaine:(starts singing) Joy to the world—
    Everyone else: SHUT UP, BLAINE!
    Kitty: Virgin in the house, bitches!
    • The whole 'Love Child' performance done specifically to make Kitty mad enough to take the part of Mary. They definitely nailed it.
    • Kitty's vicious joke about Marley's virginity, only made better by Marley's terrible attempt at a comeback:
    Kitty: To think nobody's tickled inside your musty mildew granny panties except for the family of crickets that nest in there...
    Marley: wear a smaller bra than me.
    • Santana's gig as Mrs. Claus. She's so humongously inappropriate with her comments to the kids asking for presents, it becomes hilarious. From telling a kid he needs to lose weight, to rejecting another one because he looked Jewish... And then there's this gem:
    Santana (kid just asked for a toy laptop): Why don't we just get you an I-Pad? You can't even get porn on whatever you asked me for. (cue Rachel and Kurt's horrified faces)
    • Santana as a Christmas elf is priceless as well. Right after Rachel complains that her Christmas elf costume makes her look like a candy stripper, Santana comes out with an even raunchier one:
    Santana: You think they'll let us keep these? I'm loving this look on me. Lord of the bling.
    • And later:
    Santana: Playing a slutty elf is exhausting.
  • "Frenemies"
    • While seeing Tina and Artie fight, this little exchange is brilliant:
    Tina: I read online that college admission boards think that high school prom queens are self-centered attention whores.
    Artie: Exactly.
    • And just after the conclusion (both Tina and Artie deciding to resign the title of the valedictorian to another) has a chance to become a Heartwarming Moment, they learn that the title will be given to the third student in their class... Blaine Anderson. They're both absolutely pissed, and even Blaine himself feels a little uncomfortable, stating that sometimes he feels like those things are just being handed to him. Which is made even better by Reality Subtext (even Blaine's actor, Darren Criss once stated that Blaine's given too much focus in his opinion).
  • Blaine’s absurd, disgusted look upon discovering Sam and Tina making out.
  • “I turned down bumper bowling with Kitty and Artie, and you know how much I love bumper bowling.”
  • Becky walks in on Will and Emma.
    Sue: I am disturbed on every level... and Becky has been scarred for life.
    • —>Emma: Will and I are trying to conceive a child.
    Sue: Oh God, why??!!
  • Tina crying in the fetal position.
  • "100": Brittany commenting how irresponsible Rachel is, seeing how she's busy with NYADA, "Funny Girl" and working at the diner, yet she comes to visit her old Glee Club for a week.
  • "New Directions":
    • A few of the Glee Club members are cleaning up the choir room. This exchange ensues:
    Unique: Kitty, if we see each other in the halls, will you say hello?
    Kitty: Of course. Someone's gotta tell you your shoes don't match your purse.
    Unique: Cheerio please, my shoes always match.
  • "Bash": Blaine reading goodnight stories to Sam, specifically, Star Wars fanfiction.
  • "Tested":
    • Sam tearing a strip out of Artie over him not wearing condoms.
    Sam: That is completely irresponsible! You have to wear one every time!
    Blaine: Stop yelling. I'm sure he feels bad enough.
    Sam: No, Blaine, this isn't okay. Artie needs to be slut-shamed. I'm slut-shaming you, Artie!
    Kurt: You're lucky you just got chlamydia. I mean, you could've caught something that can't be cured.
    Blaine: Yeah, you could've gotten somebody pregnant. Did you think about that?
    Sam: Slut! Slut-shame!
    • Kurt and Blaine's faces when Sam suggests an all boys abstinence club. Nope, they are not on board with that. And considering the number of jokes that have been made about their very active sex life recently, it's not surprising.
    • Blaine's "United Nations of Food" monologue, right from the very first sentence:
    Blaine: I couldn't agree with you more, Happy Tourist Family...(goes on a long monologue about all the awesome food in New York)
  • "Opening Night":
    • Rachel's nightmare, mainly, her hilarious performance of "Lovefool".

    Season 6 
  • In "Loser Like Me", Kurt's mental breakdown when he meets Blaine again and discovers that not only Blaine is seeing someone, but that the guy in question is Karofsky. Though, do note that only the first half is funny. When Kurt retreats to the bathroom, it becomes something else entirely.
    Kurt: (thinking, while faking being fine with the situation) This is a living nightmare. Oh, I'm gonna be sick, I'm gonna throw up, and when did Blaine start liking bears?!
  • In "Homecoming", Mason and Madison being totally oblivious to their Incest Subtext. Not to mention that when Santana realizes they're more Adorkable than the sexy cheerleaders she was hoping for her reaction is "Oh no, no no, I think I've made a mistake".
    Quinn: I will be taking these. *takes a plate full of muffins from before some students who look from outraged to heartbroken in response* Yeah.
    Sam: Yeah. And you know what? Quinn once had sex with a Latina lesbian. Ooh! Learned that in Glee club!
    • When the Warblers discuss whether to admit Jane into the Warblers, one of them argues that having a girl on the team would cause too much sexual tension. Blaine is surprised that they're not all gay, and even moreso when they all sassily declare to have girlfriends. What's more, the one who brings up the argument is credited as "Super Gay Warbler".
  • In "Jagged Little Tapestry", Roderick is a little thrown off by Santana's proposal to Brittany. When he asks what's going on, Puck casually tells him to just go with it.
    • Sue (to Spencer): "It's like you're Batman. Except you're gay. *Beat* So, it's like you're Batman.
    • She also tries to bribe Spencer into being a Sixth Ranger Traitor by offering him a custom-made fleshlight.
    • Brittany was asked by Blaine and Karofsky to decorate their new apartment. Being Brittany, it is entirely tie-dye and rainbows.
    Blaine: Wait, where's the bed?
    Brittany: I had it removed because when I pictured the two of you having sex I imagined a U-Haul mounting a moped.
    Karofsky: *nods in agreement*
    • Rachel's face during Santana's epic rant to Kurt is fantastic.
  • "The Hurt Locker":
    • When Kurt briefly goes missing, Rachel calls the police to file a report. As soon as she mentions her name, the conversation quickly devolves into an argument about her terrible TV show.
    • If you aren't a fan of Klaine, Sue being turned into what is obviously a Take That! to the shippers during "The Hurt Locker" is hilarious.
      • To explain, she has a Klaine shrine and even has a video montage of their scenes together (explaining that she has cameras everywhere). Even Becky is freaked out.
    Becky: This looks like a dream sequence! How could you film that?
    • After the invitational, Kitty gives the new kids a speech about how they beat the two best show choirs in the state, which ends with her saying that she will probably make fun of all of them, but she doesn't want to hear them mocking what they do as a group.
      Kitty: Listen up, noobs. We just went up against the two best show choirs in the state. They were full of seniors who have been working together for years. They thought they were gonna come into our house and push us around, but now they all went home, feeling like their willies are two inches shorter. Now, I expect to make fun of all of you at some point, fat kid, gay boy, creepy incest twins, other girl. But I never want to hear any of you disparaging the things that we do as a team.
      • When she calls Mason and Madison the creepy incest twins, Mason actually just nods and makes a yeah, that's fair face.
  • In "What the World Needs Now", Brittany brings Santana's Abuela on Fondue For Two in an attempt to try and get the two relatives to reconcile secretly. The theme song is redone in Spanish and the shows title is changed to "Queso Por Dos", picked up by Univision for an extra two seasons.
    • And her whole plan to win Abuela over, starting with inviting herself to her house and watching telenovelas with her... which worked perfectly.
  • The scene where Brittany, Sue and even Santana try to get Kurt and Blaine to get married alongside them. Special mentions go to;
    Blaine: *after Brittany's speech* I still don't get what you're taking about, though.
    Kurt: *stunned* Yes you do, just think about it.
    • A few lines later;
    Kurt: Look this is all very... romantic, and-and sweet and... a little weird...
  • Vocal Adrenaline's unimpressed reactions to Will's Rousing Speech: "Are you bipolar?"
  • Sugar happily opening her arms to welcome a dance partner during the Brittana and Klaine wedding, only to being left alone... hugging the air and starting dancing by herself with the expression clearly saying "I don't give a shit".
  • "The Rise and Fall of Sue Sylvester":
    • After being exposed by Geraldo Rivera as a pathological liar, Sue comes out with this:
    Sue: You know, when I graduated from the Sorbonne, I was recruited by every single one of Wall Street's top investment banks. Halliburton wanted me for their COO. One time, a very drunk Boris Yeltsin called to tell me that if I wanted Russia, he would just give it to me.
    • Sue once again goes after Will:
    Sue: You've crossed me for the last time, Will Schuester!
    Will: Do you have any idea how many times you’ve said that?!
    • We finally get to see what it looks like outside of the Imagine Spot musical numbers. Suffice to say, the sight of Will and Sue in tight leather pants and hair metal wigs performing "The Final Countdown" would have been hilarious by itself. However, it's juxtaposed with the two of them having an intense air-guitar battle while Brad the pianist dramatically plays the pipe organ in reality. It's possibly the most hilarious moment in the series, topped only by the looks on the glee club's faces when they run in and witness it firsthand.
    Rachel: Oh, my god, they've gone crazy.
    Kurt: We can't let this happen to us.
    • During choreography rehearsal with the Warblers and New Directions, Skylar the Warbler leader criticizes Will's move choices.
    Skylar: There is zero chance of beating Vocal Adrenaline with rudimentary moves like "Mother may I...point to you".
    Madison (offended): I love that move.
    Mason: It's. Awesome.
    Will: Thank you.
  • "2009":
    • During Kurt's audition, Will is making notes, and one is "gay?" He quickly crosses out the question mark, which is funny considering Kurt wasn't even out yet.
    • Matt, the glee club member from the first season that had two lines total before moving away, has a cameo and a line and is completely ignored by Mercedes.
  • While Sue is singing 'The Winner Takes It All' to Will in the finale...
    Does it feel the same
    When she calls your name?
    (whispers sensually to Will's ear): ...Butt-chin!
  • Sue and Will are chatting:
    Will: Anything that ever really matters in life, I learnt in that glee club.
    Sue looks at him with pure, repugnant disgust
  • Sue traps Kurt and Blaine in an elevator and pumps hormone gases in an effort to make them kiss.
    Blaine: I want to get out of here. It's so hot.
    Sue Puppet: YES!!
    Blaine: Not sexually hot.