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Funny / Ghostbusters II

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"I didn't know you had your license!"
While the sequel is considered slightly inferior to the original, it does have plenty of humorous moments.

WARNING: Spoilers are unmarked.

  • Ray and Winston singing and dancing to the over-privileged nine-year-olds in the beginning.
    Ray and Winston: [singing] If there's something strange in the neighborhood, who you gonna call?
    Kids: [yelling] He-Man! [chanting] He-Man! He-Man!...
    Ray and Winston: [trailing off] And it don't look good...
  • How Egon describes how Peter's been since the first movie to Dana.
    Egon: He was borderline for a while, then he crossed the border.
  • "Let's see what happens when we take away the puppy."
  • Peter's guests on World of the Psychic are there to give their psychic predictions for when the world will end. The first guest takes his prediction seriously enough to have written a book about it, and given that he's dated it as New Year's Eve of this very year (that is, 1989), he has clearly sensed Vigo's imminent resurrection. The second is clearly only famous because the tall tale she created to cover up an extramarital affair snowballed out of control. Peter puts all his attention on the woman, missing the real psychic right under his nose just like he did early in the first movie.
    • Peter's confrontation with Hardemeyer immediately after.
      Peter: You know, I'm a voter! Aren't you supposed to lie to me and kiss my butt?
  • Our peek into Egon's childhood: "We had part of a Slinky, but I straightened it."
  • Louis' re-introduction:
    Louis: I think you guys are making a big mistake. I mostly do mostly tax law and some probate stuff occasionally. I got my law degree in night school.
    Ray: Well, that's fine, Louis. We got arrested at night. [Head Desk]
  • Louis's very helpful defense during the courtroom scene.
    Louis: Your Honor, ladies and gentleman of the... of the audience, I don't think it's fair to call my clients frauds. Okay, so the blackout was a big problem for everybody, okay? I was stuck in an elevator for two hours and I had to make the whole time. But I don't blame them. Because one time, I turned into a dog and they helped me. Thank you.
    • Judge Wexler's reaction is priceless.
      • As is Egon's:
        Egon: Very good, Louis. Short, but pointless.
  • When the sample of mood slime starts reacting to Wexler's ranting, the boys are understandably worried and try to warn him. When that fails, they casually duck under their table in preparation for the inevitable explosion, something that the judge doesn't even seem to notice!
  • After the Scolari brothers are on the loose:
    Wexler: [grabbing Ray] You've gotta do something! Help me!
    Ray: Don't talk to me; talk to my attorney.
    Louis: And that's me! My clients are still under a judicial mistrangement order! That blue thing I got from her! They could be exposing themselves!
    Peter: And you don't want us exposing ourselves!
    • Egon's initial reaction is pretty sweet, too:
      Wexler: You gotta do something!
      Egon: Why don't you just tell them you don't believe in ghosts?
    • After the Scolari Brothers have grabbed the prosecutor:
      Peter: You're next, bubbles.
    • Plus, when the Scoleri brothers appear, the first thing out of Ray's mouth (as the 'Busters and Louis hide under their table) is an excited "Wow!"
  • The power-up sequence:
    Peter: Do...
    Ray: Re...
    Egon: Egon! [smiles]
  • At the end of Peter, Ray, and Egon's fight with the Scoleri brothers, when they activate the trap while heroic music is playing in the background, the way the music ends with the skinny brother getting sucked in with his glowing eyes bulging out wide before the trap's lid quickly shuts closed makes it look like a funny cartoon sequence ending with funny cartoon music.
  • During the Ghostbusters' "We're Back!" montage, we see Louis' first encounter with Slimer. He walks in on Slimer chowing down as usual (on his lunch), there is a Beat as both look at each other, then both quickly run/float away, Louis tripping over a couch in so doing.
    • The jogger ghost they catch presses his fingers on his neck to check his pulse. A ghost...a dead checking his pulse.
      • Better yet, he keeps probing at his neck even as he runs into the trap, as if he can't find the pulse he's searching for yet is stumped as to why.
    • During the montage, the Stylistic Suck commercial featuring the Busters, Louis, and Janine (with Bad "Bad Acting" from the latter two). It's debatable whether Hardemeyer's Head Desk is from either A: seeing the Ghostbusters are back, or B: the sheer cheesiness of the ad (evidently they hadn't improved from the ad in the first film).
  • The entire scene where Egon and Ray show Peter and Winston the effects of the mood slime, especially the dancing toaster.
    Ray: We sing to it, talk to it, say... supportive, nurturing things to it.
    Peter: You're not sleeping with it, are you, Ray?
    [Ray shakes his head; Egon hangs his head in embarrassment]
    Peter: Oh, you...
    Winston: It's always the quiet ones.
    Peter: You hound!
    • Egon's insults to the slime sample during his and Ray's demonstration.
      Egon: You're nothing but an unstable short-chain molecule!
      Egon: You have a WEAK electro-chemical bond!
      • Made even funnier as the slime bubbles. No insult is too complicated for it to understand.
    • After the toaster's dance, Peter grabs and hugs the toaster, cooing they'll make a mint with goo-toasters. Winston reminds him that the thing could eat someone's hand the first time they get mad. Peter scoffs at this, proposing a simple warning label, then pretends the toaster is eating his hand. In retaliation, Ray grabs Peter from behind and yells "GET HIM!" while Egon and Winston proceed to do just that. It's also heartwarming.
  • The scene in the museum.
    Peter: You're probably feeling what Vigo's feeling... Carpathian kitten loss. He's missed his kitten. We'll just put one here by the castle.
  • This exchange between Peter and Dana, regarding Oscar.
    Dana: It's so late, I really gotta put him down.
    Peter: May I?
    Dana: If you want to.
    Peter: [points at Oscar and sneers] You're short, your belly-button sticks out too far, and you're a terrible burden on your poor mother.
    Oscar: [stares, clueless]
    • And then Peter wiggles his finger back and forth.
  • The discussion of Vigo's Rasputinian Death:
    Ray: He was poisoned, stabbed, shot, hung, stretched, disemboweled, drawn and quartered.
    Peter: [Beat] Ouch.
    Winston: So I guess he wasn't too popular at the end, huh?
  • This exchange between Peter and Janosz:
    Peter: Say, Johnny, where the hell are you from?
    Janosz: Uh, de Upper Vest Side...
  • Janine's one-sided phone conversations when business starts picking up:
    Janine: I'm sorry, but they can't get to you until after the new year. [...] Well, then just don't go in there!
  • Roger Ebert stated that the only line he laughed at was Peter saying he brought some Laura Antonelli films for Oscar to watch. Note that Antonelli (1941-2015) was an Italian actress, primarily famous for appearing in sex comedies and dramas involving the sexual awakening of repressed women.
  • Louis tells Oscar the story of Snow White in tax lingo.
  • Ray, Egon, and Winston showing up at the restaurant in their slime-covered underwear to tell Peter what they found.
    Peter: Boys, boys, you are scaring the straights, okay? Is there any way we can do this tomorrow?
  • A doorman, played by Bobby Brown, asks Egon and Ray if they had an extra Proton Pack for his little brother.
    Egon: The Proton Pack is not a toy.
    Ray: I guess he's right.
  • Ray attempts to be diplomatic to the Mayor of New York.
    Ray: And I'd like to say that almost fifty percent of us voted for you in the last election.
  • Vigo doing his Badass Boast on New Year's Eve...and Janosz being bored out of his skull. He even mouths along with some of his dark master's lines.
  • When the Ghostbusters are committed:
    Ray: As I explained before, we think the spirit of a seventeenth-century Moldavian tyrant is alive and well in a painting at the Manhattan Museum of Art.
    Psychiatrist: Uh-huh, and are there any other paintings in the museum with bad spirits in them?
    Egon: You're wasting valuable time. He's drawing strength from a psychomagnotheric slime flow that's been collecting under the city.
    Psychiatrist: Yes, tell me about the slime.
    Winston: It's very potent stuff. We made a toaster dance with it. And a bathtub tried to eat his friend's baby.
    Psychiatrist: A bathtub?
    Peter: Don't look at me. I think these people are completely nuts.
  • Janosz tries to convince Dana that Vigo possessing Oscar is a good thing.
    Janosz: There are many perks to being the mother of a living god...
    • Also the fact that he tries to convince her by promising her, among other things, free parking.
  • "He says the Titanic just arrived!"
    Dockworker: [staring in disbelief, then almost shrugging as the ghostly passengers debark] Well... better late than never!
    • We see him again after the 'Busters animate the Statue of Liberty and are taking her to Manhattan.
  • The Mayor before he fires Hardemeyer:
    Lenny: Jack, I spent an hour last night in my bedroom, talking to Fiorello LaGuardia, and he's been dead for forty years. Now where are the Ghostbusters?
  • After Louis suits up and goes outside:
    Louis: Boy, this equipment's heavy...
    • Which (along with Peter griping during the courtroom scene, "I always hated this part of the business") is a bit of Leaning on the Fourth Wall. After the cast complained that the proton packs from the first movie were too heavy, they only used those ones for close-ups and used fiberglass replicas for wide shots and the like.
    • Later on, Louis is en route to the museum when a bus pulls up. The door opens...and Slimer is in the driver's seat, beckoning him in.
      Louis: Oh, it's you. Okay, but I didn't know you had your license.
  • While piloting the Statue of Liberty:
    Egon: We're running out of time, Ray, it's almost midnight. Can't you make her go any faster?
    Ray: I'm afraid the vibrations will shake her to pieces. We should have padded her feet.
    Egon: I don't think they make Nikes in her size, Ray.
    Peter: Hey, she's tough. She's a harbor chick!
    [Statue's foot squashes a police cruiser]
    Ray: Sorry! My fault!
    • Deleted Scene while in the Statue of Liberty:
      Ray: We'll stay to the right of the channel, go ashore at Battery, go up the Westside Highway to 57th fly up 9 across the park at 65.
      Peter: What?! No, no, no, no... you want to go up FDR to 4-2, slide over to 5 and jump up 5.
      Ray: Up 5? We can't go up 5! It's one-way going the wrong way!
      Peter: Ray, we're walking a 150-foot national monument through Manhattan. You think we should worry about a traffic ticket?
    • Venkman trying out the sound system inside the Statue of Liberty: "Hey, how many of you people out here are a national monument? Raise your hand, please."
  • Janosz trying a bit self-aggrandizement:
    Janosz: Soon, it will be midnight, and the city will be mine and Vigo's. [Beat] Well, mainly Vigo's.
  • Peter's flippant speech to Vigo:
    Peter: Not so fast, Vigo! Hey, Vigo! Yeah, you. The bimbo with the baby. Anybody tell you the big shoulder look is out? You know, I have met some dumb blondes in my life, but you take the taco, pal! Only a Carpathian would come back to life NOW and choose New York! Tasty pick, BONEHEAD! If you had brain one in that HUGE melon on top of your neck, you would be living the sweet life out in Southern California's BEAUTIFUL San Fernando Valley!
    • Genius Bonus in that the San Fernando Valley is most well-known for being the center of the American porn industry.
  • "Ray... we'd like to shoot the monster. Could you move, please?"
    • Just before that: "Viggy, Viggy, Viggy... you have been a bad monkey!"
  • Vigo's attempt at intimidation after possessing Ray, and the subsequent reaction:
    Vigo: Now I, Ray and Vigo, shall rule the Earth! Begone, you pitiful half-men!
    Peter: Now! [commence blasting]
  • Janosz's line after being hosed:
    Janosz: Vy am I drippings vith goo?