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Funny / Ghost Recon Wildlands

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  • One mission in the game requires you to use the drone to spy on a politician who is being serviced by a prostitute for blackmail purposes. While eavesdropping on the two of them, one of the ghosts will comment "this is too kinky even for Bowman."
    • The politician's deep, dark secret he confesses to the prostitute to turn her on he stole a cat's leg. An artificial leg at that. The prostitute's completely perplexed reaction makes it.
  • One of the Operation Kingslayer files you come across in Pucara is a recording of DJ Perico having an epic Is This Thing Still On? moment where he starts cursing out all of the major cartel buchons and even El Sueno himself on-air. It ends when Perico is told he's getting a phone call from the boss.
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  • One mission has you wrecking a casino used by the Cartel, and this is said after the mission is completed:
    Nomad: VIPs have bugged out. Building is wrecked.
    Holt: The Sapper Daddy is pleased with our offering.
  • The reaction Nomad has to Carzita attempting to bribe him during his interrogation, which can slip into awesome status too:
    Nomad: I don't give a fuck about money, Carzita. I work for the U.S Government. We spend billions of dollars on hand sanitizer alone. Pork barrels, fuckface!
  • Bowman's video briefings on the Santa Blanca's bosses often has some funny moments, from Bowman's Deadpan Snarker routine, to some pretty hefty doses of Black Comedy. Some highlights:
  • Bowman plus El Chido in general are always good for a laugh. The way she squees during and after her meeting with him once the Ghosts dragged him through her door is so out of character even for her snarky self that the player cracking up is almost a given.
    • The fact that she manages to combine fangirling over his music with an implied threat. It takes him a few moments to process what she meant when she talked about which of his songs they'd play at his funeral.
  • While Perico's radio broadcasts on Santa Blanca Radio can get pretty annoying, there are some funny moments to be had for first-time listeners. For instance, hosting a contest where the tenth listener gets a brand new... low-rider bicycle! The winner of that particular contest goes on a rant about how stupid a contest this is and hangs up. Perico's response is to just restart the contest like nothing's happened.
    • A particularly outstanding bit of early Black Comedy comes from him running a PSA on not betraying Santa Blanca, which includes audio of a traitor being tortured to death. Perico then immediately and cheerfully announces a call-in contest to win the dead mans gold watch.
    • You can also hear Perico do a piece on how weapon safety is important and should be practices by the cartel members to avoid shooting their best friends in the face. If you have completed his story arc, you will find the entire thing a bit disingenuous to say the least.
  • One mission has you pursue and capture El Cardenal. However, it can play out in such a way that when you finally encourage his surrender, he'll halt, kneel, and place his hands on his head, unresistant... in the middle of a busy highway. Whereupon a car will come around the next corner and cream him, costing you the mission. In the words of Yahtzee Croshaw, unhelpful, but fucking funny.
  • A lot of the idle chatter between the Ghosts is utterly hilarious:
    Nomad: You know the headquarters is going to have us piss in a cup as soon as we get back
    Team Mate: But the altitude! (Taking a deep breath between each word) It's getting hard to breath.
    Nomad: Shut up.
    • This one comes up in several conversations, where the Ghosts discuss various other, non-drug related uses for coca.
  • Upon killing the Predator, the players has to escape the selfdestruct blast. On solo, only you are required to escape. Your AI teammates will ALWAYS get caught on the blast- almost as a way to give you a laugh for completing a hard mission.


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