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Funny / Garfield and Friends

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  • Garfield’s snark is the stuff of legend.
  • The show STARTS with one of these, the very first Quickie in the first episode revolves around Garfield making fun of Odie for the gaudy dog sweater Jon put on him for their walk. We then cut to outside, where we see that Jon has, for some reason, dressed Garfield up in a Little Boy Blue-style sailor boys' suit.
    Garfield: Maybe lightning will strike me and end this humiliation.
  • "Peace and Quiet" is full of them.
    • Jon wakes up one morning to discover that Garfield has been watching TV all night and basically become comatose from the lack of sleep.
    Jon: I feel like such an unworthy parent!
    • Oh, and what was he watching all night? A 14-hour documentary about coathangers.
    TV: And that concludes our 14-hour documentary, "Your Friend the Coat Hanger". Tune in next week for our 16-hour investigative report: "Cotton Swabs: A Blessing or a Curse?"
    • Garfield spends the whole episode trying to get rid of Binky the Clown, who thinks its the house of an elderly client he's supposed to sing a birthday song for, and he just does NOT get the hint. Garfield eventually resorts to dressing up as the old lady just to get rid of him. When he finally lies down to sleep, Jon and Odie arrive back home and reveals that they hired Binky to sing for GARFIELD'S birthday! Driven to near-insanity, Garfield flees the house, running for miles through the city, fields and mountains, until he finally reaches a desolate mountaintop, with no one around. Or so he thinks...
    Binky: I thought you'd never get here! Ohhhhhh HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, WHOOP-DE-DOO, WHOOP-DE-DO!
  • The second-ever Garfield Quickie. Garfield sees a spider on the windowsill and slams the window down, hoping to squash it. The spider jumps off before the window comes down on him. Garfield shatters the glass from the window, then the window falls out of its frame. Then, the wall collapses. Finally, the roof caves down on Garfield. Much to Garfield's dismay, the spider is still alive.
  • The entirety of Binky Gets Cancelled. The best part would be the mention of how Binky tried to get into politics, only to learn that Washington has enough clowns as it was.
    • The ending is especially hilarious. Garfield and Jon laze around in hammocks sipping lemonade while Binky is stuck cleaning up the suds that spewed out of the dishwasher when he remodeled Jon's house.
  • From the second one (Binky Gets Cancelled Again!): "MAH SHOW IS VERY EDUCATIONAL!"
    Boss: And what exactly does your show teach people? (Gets hit with a pie) I mean besides that.
    • BUDEAH BEARS? (The way Binky pronounced Buddy Bears)
    • Later on Binky tries to find work elsewhere. He tried hosting wrestling matches but he was so loud that wrestlers couldn't study their scripts and tied him up. Then he tries working at a library which works out as well as you'd think for Binky.
    Garfield: (After Binky is tossed out of the library) That job lasted a good eight minutes.
  • Nighty Nightmare: Random alien: "But of course, you will be Thanksgiving dinner for the entire planet of Clarion! And there will be plenty left for sandwiches the next day!"
  • The "Sam the Cat" cartoon featured in the episode "The Cartoon Cat Conspiracy". "Oh no! It's the STUPID DOG! Can we get rid of this STUUPID DOG?"
  • The "Bungee Buddy" quickie, particularly this little bit of banter at the end:
    Jon: Garfield, what in the world do you think you're doing!?
    Garfield: Why, being your bungee buddy you silly neener head!~ neener neener! *SMOOCH!*
  • In the episode "Nothing to Sneeze At", after Garfield and Jon got kicked out of the movie theater for bothering the audience, the usher opened the entrance with Jon's gaudy plaid coat and yelled, "And take your coat! It's scaring folks!"
  • From one quickie:
    Jon (after seeing Garfield leave a puddle by his bed, not knowing it was just Odie's drool): "Garfield! Bad!"
  • At the ending of "Good Cat, Bad Cat", 'Angel' Jon tells regular Jon, that Garfield's "Loyal and Devoted and he always does the right thing,-eventually".
    • Also this exchange in the same episode
    Garfield: "Now you've turned me into a liar, do you know what happens to liars"?
    Devil Garfield: "Yeah, they get jobs doing the weather."
  • In "Basket Brawl" the episode was about a basketball themed game of Jon and the others packing a picnic lunch without Garfield eating all the food first and the mice were the audience, sports host and cheerleaders. Everyone bounces the food like basketballs the goal for Jon's team is the picnic basket, Garfield's goal is his own mouth.
    Chick: You devoured an entire picnic. You've got to be proud.
    Garfield: I am, Chick. Real, proud. And I also like to say, this is probably the dumbest episode, we've done all season.
  • In "Rainy Day Dreams", when Garfield got a female home insurance saleslady, wet from cold rain water, before she took her hot shower, she said, "You know, Jon, with that cat around, you really need insurance."
  • In episode 33, in a quickie, Jon was trying to relax sitting in his soft chair with a bowl of popcorn, watching TV, then Garfield just came and did everything at speed, changing the channel, eating all the popcorn, putting the bowl on Jon's head, scratching the chair, then dancing away, facing you.
  • In "Skyway Robbery", Garfield, Jon and Odie are in a life or death situation in a plane (they got to learn to land it or they'll crash). They're in panic and their controller over the phone is a nonchalant big, fat guy, calmly eating spaghetti and meatballs while telling them how to land the plane.
    Controller: Pull back on the caneloni, and ease up on your veal parmesean.
    Garfield: Flying is easy when they tell you in a way that make sense.
  • In "Odie The Amazing" Odie accidentally conjures up a camel in the living room with his wand, then Garfield wakes up and does his morning routine while saying "Everyday it's the same routine, I get up, I walk under the camel, I go to the kitchen, walk back under the camel and, wait a minute let's see, I get up I walk under the camel, go into the kitchen walk back under the camel, UNDER THE CAMEL!?".
  • Video Airlines: The Kung Fu Creatures on the Rampage Running Gag.
    • "You! You're not Sylvia! You're one of the Kung Fu Creatures on the Rampage! 3!"
  • "Mistakes Will Happen" is really funny. Some memorable parts including the following:
  • Jon's scream in this quickie. It must be seen to be believed.
    Jon: Garfield, what in the world do you think you're doing?!?
    Garfield: Why, being your bungee buddy, you silly neener-head! Neener, neener!
  • In "The Genuine Article": Gabriel: Oh yeah, I'm real worried,talk about a bad hair day!
    Fake Jon: Gabriel, what did I tell you would I would do the next time I caught you kicking Ollie off the table?
    Gabriel: Make me watch all my favorite TV shows until I can't stand it any longer?"
    • Also, the "Gabriel and Friends" part.
      Garfield: He's got my merchandising!
  • The ending of "Change of Mind": "Oh, you're stealing my scary stuff idea too! Now I'm gonna sue you and Nermal both! And I'm gonna sue the guy who produces this show too, and also the Buddy Bears, and..."-(cut to quickie)
  • When Jon throws money like in the fantasy sequence he had at the end of "Magic, Monsters and Manicotti".
  • In "Knights And Daze", when Garfield thinks only dumb people watch the sport that Jon was going to compete in.
  • "Canned Laughter" has plenty.
    Garfield: Boy, they have machines now that do everything but dance the Can-Can! (he and Odie see a machine doing the Can-Can) Boy, they have machines now that do everything!
  • Every single line from the philosopher in "The Feline Philosopher" is hilarious, particularly "Or because you get 83 channels and they're all showing an infomercial for an automatic raisin machine?"
  • In "Housebreak Hotel", Garfield and Odie are left at what is supposed to be a luxurious pet hotel, only for Garfield to find himself locked in a tiny cage in a dark, prison-like room. He immediately starts kicking up a fuss:
    Hotel Owner: Quiet, cat, or we'll stick you in a worse room!
    Garfield: There's a worse room than this?! How? Is it on fire?
    • Later Garfield is eating a disgusting gray glop for dinner with another cat.
    Garfield: Hey careful, some of that is getting into your mouth. I'm going to complain, what's the worst they can do to me?
    Hotel Owner: Eat your dinner, cat!
    Garfield: I refuse to eat this! Wow, that's the first time I've ever said that!
  • Pretty much the entire episode "All About Odie". A few examples:
    • Garfield using a pie chart, made with actual pie, to represent Odie. Two tiny pieces of the pie represent Odie's brain and common sense, respectively, and the rest of the whole pie represents Odie's tongue.
    • This question below:
    Garfield: Before we move on with the lecture, are there any questions?
    Man in audience: Yeah, is wrestling fixed?
    Garfield: I should've asked, "Are there any intelligent questions?"
    • Garfield talking about Odie chasing cars, particularly the exchange below:
    Man in audience: What does Odie do with a car when he catches one?
    Garfield: He buries it in the backyard.
    (audience laughs at him)
    Garfield: What're you laughing at? Don't you believe me?
    Woman in audience: Nah, we don't believe you!
    Garfield: I can't believe my ears!
    Audience: (in unison) We can't believe your face!
    Garfield: Hey! I did not come here to be insulted!
    Man in audience: Oh, where do you usually go?
  • In "Forget Me Not", after losing his memory, Garfield chases after the bully, insisting that he take his lasagna, in a very sweet, soft-spoken way.
  • Garfield drives off an alien invasion (wherein the aliens are disguised as ventriloquist dummies) with termites and then delivers this gem.
    Garfield: "Well, Odie, I saved the world again. But do you think I'll ever get credit for it?"
  • The entirety of "Top Ten", featuring Top Ten List on subjects such as "Why Jon's Dates Fail" and "Garfield's Most Hated Foods".
  • From "Garfield Goes Hawaiian": "Polly does impressions!"
    • "Oh not another tap-dancing, knitting octopus act!"
    • Jon ends up winning the silly pet talent show because Garfield refused to perform and Jon tried to coach him through it by actually doing the act himself (hula dancing).
  • In "Mystic Manor":
    Jon: Well, guys, how would you like to experience something reaaaalllll scary?
    Garfield: Mmm... Jon's gonna sing.
    Jon: Something soooooo spooky, you'll never get over it?
    Garfield: He's gonna sing and dance.
    (Odie covers his ears and whimpers)
  • Garfield translates Escrow, a real estate agent in "Unreal Estate" :
    Garfield: Real estate people uses special language. I'll translate for you
    Escrow: Quinn's starter home price move...
    Garfield: It's a dump and it is falling into quicksand.
    Escrow: Magnificent view...
    Garfield: It's about to fall off the edge of a cliff
    Escrow: Needs TLC...
    Garfield: Needs Toilets , Lights and Ceiling
    Escrow: Indoor Pool
    Garfield: 5 feet of water in the basement
    Escrow: Charming fix-her-up requires some restoration
    Garfield: Mostly on fire.
  • In "Cabin Fever":
    • Garfield quickly succumbing to starvation and cabin fever while snowed in at the cabin, despite only being in there for about an afternoon.
    • Jon rushing out of the grocery store when the clerk tells him about an upcoming blizzard, only to rush back in when he remembers he forgot to pay for the groceries.
    Jon: Heh, you'd probably like me to pay for these, huh?
    Grocer: Might be nice.
    Garfield: THAT hungry I'm not.
  • The ending to "Video Victim", where Jon has a nightmare about the vacuum cleaner.
  • From "How to be Funny":
    Garfield: Now in all of comedy, what is the most important thi—
    Guy in Audience: Timing!
    Garfield: Ahem. I said, in all of comedy—
    Guy in Audience: Timing!
    Garfield: Ahem again. I said, in all of comedy, what is the most important thing?
    Guy in Audience: ....Timing?
    Garfield: Correct!
  • Pretty much the entirety of "Monday Madness", too. Special mention include the sudden morning polka Garfield performs, and the fake trailer for Monday Madness.
  • In "Dread Giveaway", Nermal dreams that Garfield hosts an infomercial advertising the opportunity for the first caller to own Nermal (and later Odie too). The reason for they want to give him away? Simple:
    Because we don't want him!
    • Garfield's nightmare at the end when he dreams of being stuck with a buttload of Nermals who he can't get rid of no matter what offer he makes to the people watching at home.
  • Binky Goes Bad:
    Garfield: Today's episode features Binky the Clown, so turn up the volume kids.
    • During the court case at the beginning of the episode, Garfield does what he does best: eat food!
    Police Officer: All rise!
    [Everybody but Garfield rises, who eats some popcorn, then rises.]
  • In "Annoying Things", as a dog promises to beat Garfield up if he says anything bad about dogs...
    Dog: Read my lips!
  • Jon and Garfield warping their side of the story in "Twice Told Tale":
    Garfield: (Jon's version) I haven't had anything to eat in ten minutes! I demand food now!
    Garfield: (Garfield's version) Oh, I haven't had anything to eat in a day or two but hey, it's all right.

    Jon: (Jon's version) Here it is. Soft, frozen yogurt. Oh, I do so hope it pleases you.
    Jon: (Garfield's version) Here it is. Soft, frozen yogurt. That's all you're getting.

    Jon: (Jon's version) You know, if we made yogurt at home, I could save a lot of money and give it to the poor and needy.
    Jon: (Garfield's version) You know, if we made yogurt at home, I could save a lot of money and spend it on selfish things.

    Jon: I had to add just the right ingredients so the yogurt would be just right for Garfield.
    Garfield: Jon didn't know how to make yogurt so he just threw anything he had lying around into the pot.
  • The "Screaming With Binky" Quickies. All of them.
    • There's one where Binky's victim is one of the show's animators. The last scene shows Garfield and Binky drawn all scribbly as a result. Garfield goes "I hope you're happy."
  • When a woman chases Garfield around and swings a broom at him, he tells her, "You should be riding that thing instead of swinging it!"
  • In "The Big Talker", Jon is given the opportunity to defend Garfield to an obnoxious talk show host who hates cats. While on the show, the host then grills him about if he even has a purpose and then finally asks if Garfield's even cute...which then prompts him to do normal cute cat antics like playing with a ball of yawn and in a random cardboard box. One Beat from Jon later, he then replies No. This angers the cat, who then says "Jon didn't tell me that he was going to tell the truth!"
  • The ending of "It Must Be True", where Garfield's final fact given is that dogs do not have brains, only to realize to his horror that the studio audience is full of dogs who are justifiably pissed at Garfield for what he just said and repeating the claim that what he just said is true since he said so on television. As the dogs prepare to attack Garfield, the orange cat desperately tries to cover his ass by spewing more lies that he hopes will convince the dogs to spare him.
  • "Guaranteed Trouble"
    • The episode begins with Jon, Garfield and Odie attending a funeral for their old TV set.
    • After the new TV Jon buys from Madman Murray gets busted, Jon tries to get it fixed, but Madman Murray refuses and points out that there is very small print on Jon's warranty card, which requires the use of an observatory's telescope in order to read.
    Jon: "This warranty not valid Monday through Friday or on weekends, not valid in any month with a vowel in its name and not valid if TV owner was born after the year 1863." What kind of warranty is this?
    Madman Murray: From my point of view, it's great!
    • After finally getting the TV fixed by taking it to Japan (and Garfield coercing the factory employee to get it fixed by dressing as a ninja), it then turns out that the TV has everyone on it speaking in Japanese. Garfield, Jon and Odie then decide that they'll just eat teriyaki chicken in front of the set until they learn the language.
  • The "My chair!" Quickie where Garfield and Jon fight over a chair.
    Garfield: MMMMY CHAIR!
  • In "Well Fed Feline Jon is arrested for not feeding Garfield. During his trial we get this exchange:
    Judge: Bring in this Arbuckle, the one accused of not feeding his cat.
    (Garfield walks over to the Judge)
    Judge: Are you Arbuckle's cat?
    Garfield: Yeah. (Nods)
  • "Close Encounters Of The Garfield Kind" has some funny moments:
    • The over the top made-for-TV sci-fi film Garfield, Jon and Odie are watching at the beginning:
    • This exchange between Jon and Garfield:
    Jon: "In the movies, extraterrestrials are always monsters or creepy things. This one is kind of cute!"
    Garfield (after being smacked by the alien with a random piece of food): "And if he gets any cuter, I'm sending him to Abu Dhabi."
    • Also, the ending, where Jon receives his monthly phone bill:
    Jon: "I can't pay this!!! Why are my long distance calls being measured in light years?!?!?!?"
    Garfield: "Hmmmm, your cute little extraterrestrial must have phoned home."

    U.S. Acres 
  • "Wanted: Wade!":
    • "HEY ORSON! IS THIS YOUR PAPER UNDER THE SOFA?", due to the way Wade says the last word, and because he pointed his middle finger at the tag for a few seconds.
    • Wade singing "Bedtime's every night at nine" on key, but then going off key during the musical sequence.
    • Two of the signs in the musical sequence read "No John Wayne Impersonations" and "No Yogurt".
    • Wade imagines himself in court (for tearing the tag off the mattress), with Orson as a judge:
    Orson: I sentence you to 9999 years in prison!
    Wade: Whew! At least I didn't get life.
    • The cellmates' reaction to Wade ripping the tag off a pillow.
    First criminal: I've robbed 50 banks and 60 gas stations.
    Second criminal: Yeah? Well, I robbed 70 banks, see, and 90 gas stations. And I stole the Klopman Diamond. What Are You in For?
    Wade: Uh, I tore a tag off a pillow.
    (The criminals run for the bars and scream for help.)
    • Orson, Wade, and Roy panicking and breaking down the wall of Roy's house and running away after hearing a police officer ordering them to come out with their hands up. Turns out it's only Booker imitating a police officer. Sheldon asks him if he thinks that was very nice and Booker replies, "Oh, c'mon. What harm can it do?" Then we cut away to Orson, Wade, and Roy still running like hell.
  • In episode 3, "Banana Nose", Wade expresses how heartbroken he was about Roy's departure:
    Orson: (reading Roy's letter) Dear everyone, I thought I had friends here. I guess I was wrong. Don't worry, you'll never see my banana nose here, again. Goodbye. Signed Roy parentheses, Banana Nose.
    • Of course Wade then felt ashamed about it, once Orson pointed it out.
    • Also, "Me be a pirate!", because it sounds like Engrish.
  • Episode 4, "Shell Shocked Sheldon". Roy and Wade repeatedly fighting if Roy was out or safe.
    Roy: SAFE!
    Wade: OUT!
    Roy: SAFE!
    Wade: OUT!
    Roy: SAFE!
    • And we see them again fighting about the same thing and through night fall.
    • At the end of Orson's song about helping Sheldon to hatch:
      Orson: (singing)...I wonder what you will look like? I wonder what you will be? We'll finally put a face with your name...maybe you'll look like me.
      Sheldon: Are you trying to scare me?! (Orson frowns)
    • Back to Roy and Wade, still having the 'Out/safe' fight. Fortunately, they aren't stupid enough to overlook that the fox went past them with the kidnapped Sheldon, like the fox might've thought.
    • When the gang are behind the bushes, near the fox, to rescue Sheldon:
      Wade: (whispers) Out.
      Roy: (whispers) Safe.
      Wade: (whispers) Out.
      Roy: (whispers) Safe.
    • When Sheldon is saved.
      Orson: (to Sheldon) ... but don't worry, you're safe.
      Wade: OUT!
      Roy: SAFE!
      Wade: OUT!
      Roy: SAFE!
      Wade: OUT!
      Roy: SAFE!
      Wade: OUT!
    • In the morning, when Sheldon is hatching:
      Wade: He's almost out!
      Roy: SAFE!
      Wade: OUT!
      Roy: SAFE!
      Wade: OUT!
      Roy: SAFE!
      Wade: OUUUUT!
    • Also, when Orson first appears as Power Pig to his friends:
    Orson: Come! We shall rescue Sheldon!
    (Wade, Roy, and Booker fall to the floor laughing uncontrollably)
    Orson: Correction: We shall rescue Sheldon... after certain people stop laughing!
    • The group later finds the fox about to cook Sheldon. Orson tries to come up with a plan, but Roy quickly figures out an easier way to save Sheldon.
    Roy: (brings Orson to the fox) All right, tell him who you are.
    Orson: I'm... Power Pig, defender of the defenseless.
    Fox: (laughs) Power Pig!
    (The fox falls to ground, laughing hysterically, allowing the others to save Sheldon)
  • In "Wade: You're Afraid", when Roy manage to break Wade of his hypnotization by closing the book (literally) on Wade's head. He also did in the comic strip, thought slightly differently.
  • In "The Bad Sport", in a quickie when Roy tried to help Wade stand up to Lanolin. This was also a strip.
    • The new game rule about making Arnold Schwarzenegger out of coleslaw. Like the "Wanted: Wade" example, the way he says the celebrity's name is funny, and it's not often you hear celebrity jokes in Garfield and Friends.
    • All of the new rules Roy comes up with and Wade somehow managing to find a live Hippo.
  • In "The Worm Turns", Roy pranking Wade by inflating his inner tube. This was also in the strip. Wade thinks everything and everyone else shrunk. Then Roy comes with Wade's hugely inflated tube and tells Wade to pay attention to things and think before he acts... just as he unplugs Wade's tube and goes flying in the air like an deflating balloon.
  • In "Return of Power Pig", even though Wade was sincerely upset, when he thought Roy was decapitated, he said this line, "Oh No! Roy's head! And he hadn't even used it yet!" Followed by Roy walking to Wade, frowning at him and Wade realizing Roy's alive and heard him, grinning sheepishly at him.
  • In "Short Story", when Orson's mean brothers trapped the heroes in the silo, after being stuck in there for less then a minute:
    Roy: (walking over to Wade) Wade, it's too soon for that kind of theatrics.
    Wade: I was just getting an early start.
    • Earlier, Orson tries to stop his brothers from stealing the crops. The moment they see him (as Power Pig) they fall out laughing.
  • In "National Tapioca Pudding Day", it was more likely the principle of not getting a present, but it was still very funny:
    Roy: (seeing Wade walking near him with a present) Present for me, Wade?
    Wade: (walks past him) Oh, no, no. No. This is for my good and truly friend, Orson.
    Roy: (jealous) Oh...The pig gets a present and I don't? (walks away) Well, see if I care. (marching back in Wade's direction) Of course I care.
  • In "Shy Fly Guy", when Wade and Fred Duck meet for the first time...despite being related.
    Fred Duck: Hi, Cousin! Fred Duck! Awful glad to meet you! Nice place you got here! How's tricks?!
    Wade: Who are you?...
    • Orson stuck in an unstoppable tractor.
    Orson: I HAD to refill the gas tank!
    (The others running after the tractor, trying to rescue Orson)
    Bo: We're coming to save you, Orson!
    Roy: Yeah! As if we really know what to do!
  • In the episode "The Impractical Joker":
    Roy: Hey, Wade, do you know what's red and green and covered with fur and has eight legs?
    Wade: Uh, no what?
    Roy: I don't know either, but there's one on your shoulder.
    Wade: AHHH! Oh, get it off! Get it off!
    • When Roy gets fired:
    Sheldon: We could do worse.
    Wade: How?
    Booker: Like that friend of yours, Wade. That duck that came by last year.
    Wade: Oh, Fred Duck. Yeah, he was annoying.
    • When Roy got his job back:
    Roy: (trying to sound sincere) Sheldon, I'm sorry I said you were so dull, you could put coffee to sleep. (trying not to laugh) And Booker, I'm sorry I said you were so short, Show White could give you hand-me-downs. (again, trying not to laugh) And Wade, I'm sorry I said (giggles)...I said you were so cowardly you (laughs) ought to borrow a spine! (laughing) And-and Lanolin, I- (can't go on and leaves, laughing. Lanolin and the chicks are not amused)
    Wade: (wearily) Nice to have Roy back, isn't it?... (The others glare at Wade, while he smiles sheepishly.)
  • In the episode "Grabbity", when Roy was disguise as a TV news reporter, pranking Wade:
    Roy: This just in: The law of grabbity has been repealed.
    Wade: WHAT?!
    Roy: You heard me. Today, a bunch of very important people, who can do anything they want to, repealed the law of grabbity. They also repealed the law of the jungle, the law of diminishing returns, the law of supply and demand and several rules of thumb.
  • In "Scrambled Eggs" when Roy pranked Wade with sneezing powder in his sleep.
  • In "Fortune Kooky" Roy with his Paper-Thin Disguise as a fortune teller, pranking Wade:
    Roy: (to Wade) Ah, web footed one, I am Swami Bugwanna, mystic seer of the future. Would you like to hear your fortune?
    Wade: Yes, oh please, Swami, sir.
    Roy: Then let me read a fortune cookie. (takes one from Wade's picnic basket, eats the cookie and reads the fortune) You will be caught in a rainstorm and then pummeled and harmed, by a wild ape who wants to tap dance in potato salad.
    Wade: That is the most ridiculous fortune I've ever heard, Swami. (Wade conveniently has his head turned as Roy puts a hose up a tree near Wade and turns the hose on) It's a beautiful sunny day. (water from the hose pours down on him) It's, it's raining!
    Roy: (in an ape suit) Can I dance in your potato salad?
    Wade: (gives the basket to Roy) Take it! I'm too young to be pummeled and harmed! (runs off)
    • "You will lose all your feathers during a total eclipse on Arbor day while listening to The Marine Corps Band playing "Home on the Range" and watching a badminton match between two guys named Ichabod."
  • In "Goody-Go-Round", a cute and funny scene when Lanolin when rolling on the rolling pin while holding two pies:
    Orson: (heroic voice) Don't worry, Lanolin! I'll save you! (runs to the shed, came back out as "Power Pig") Power Pig to the rescue!
    Lanolin: Oh, now I'm really in trouble. (both crash into each other)
    • When Orson has a What the Hell, Hero? moment when he asks why everyone's fighting. Instead of letting them answer, he goes and insult them through song...including Sheldon, who wasn't even involved in the fight. It's their response at the end which makes it funny:
      Orson: (singing)...Booker's not a half-pint. He's at least a pint, my friend. Roy's more than a feather duster but not as smart as a pig. Lanolin's not obnoxious. It's just that her mouth is so big. Bo, you're better than a cotton swab, even if you are a nerd. Wade's not a coward except for the fact that he's afraid of a cottage cheese curd. Sheldon's not a rotten egg. Maybe just soft-boiled. Let's take back everything we said and not let our friendship be spoiled.
      Lanolin, Bo, Booker, Roy, Wade: (angry) AND WE DON'T MEAN TO CALL YOU FAT!!
    • The ending: Wade pulls a prank on Roy by giving him the really hot chewing gum (that was originally Roy's). What was ironic was that Roy was ready to point out that it wasn't fair that everyone got that they want but Wade. Then fire and smoke came out of his mouth and he ran off screaming.
      Wade: Yep. Everybody got what they wanted... or what they deserved.
  • In "Double Oh Orson", in the casino diner, how all the enemies (off screen) try to hit Double Oh Orson with thrown weapons but miss, including trying to place a poison pill in his drink but with bad timing.
    • Also, Lanolin's accent is funny. However, after she says "Follow me, Double Oh Orson!" she snaps out of it for some reason and talks in her normal voice.
    • Double Oh Bo appearing to be frozen in a block of ice.
    • All the "license to kill" puns, like Double Oh Orson pouring a soda and overflowing his cup (license to spill), and the scene of Bo being frozen in ice, a "license to chill".
  • In "Show Stoppers", Orson, in the talent show fails to wow the audience with his jokes so he announced he'll do a little dance:
    Roy: (in the audience) Oh, don't. My earthquake insurance isn't paid up.
    Orson: I am not fat! I have a body of a superb athlete!
    Roy: Well, give it back. You're getting it all stretched out of shape.
    Orson: (trying to whisper to Roy) Roy, aren't you supposed to be selling tickets at the door?
    Roy: What? And miss my chance to heckle you, Pignose? I'm on a roll.
    Orson: (angry) Well, in that case, I won't dance. (The audience cheered for that, with Orson getting more angry turned 'big and growling monster like' which shut them up.)
    • Booker's and Sheldon's act:
    Booker: Hey, Sheldon, what do you get when you cross a lasagna-loving cat with a bunch of zany farm animals?
    Sheldon: You get picked up for another season.[note 
    • When Orson's brother threw lots of vegetables at him on stage:
    Roy: (to Wade both behind the stage) How's it going?
    Wade: Well, either he's bombing or he's doing a great impression of a salad bar.
  • In "Rooster Revenge" at the end when Roy thought he pulled a huge prank on Orson, then he thought it was the Ranger. Trying to describe the look on his face doesn't do that joke justice. Then it's revealed that it was really Lanolin in disguise as the Ranger.
  • In "First Aid Wade", in Wade's dream, the end of Orson's song, "...He'd never hurt you on purpose, but Roy here might." With Doctor Roy looking at Wade... Now all that's missing is Doctor Roy saying to Wade, "Relax...I'm a Doctor."
    Orson: Wait a minute. You're not a surgeon, Roy.
    (Doctor) Roy: I operated on a man just yesterday.
    Orson: For what?
    Roy: For 900 dollars.
    Roy: 900 dollars.
    Orson: No, I mean what did you remove?!
    Roy: (playing with a ball and paddle) The 900 dollars.
    Orson: No! What was his complaint?!
    Orson and Roy: The 900 dollars.
    Orson: OK Roy, you carve.
    • This exchange:
      Doctor Roy: Let's operate on the Duck. (to Wade) OK, we're taking out your tonsils.
      Wade: I don't need my tonsils taken out! (runs away)
      Roy: Hey, I've never lost a patient and I don't aim to start now! (runs after Wade, which leads to the Scooby-Dooby Doors.)
  • In "Mud Sweet Mud", Wade was raking the leaves and made a couple of large piles. Roy planned to jump on one of the piles... only to end getting hit/flattened by a blouder size rock hiding under a pile of leaves. With Wade remaining calmly humming and raking the leaves. Makes you wonder if Wade planned that, on purpose?
  • In "Origin of Power Pig", when Wade was explaining to himself that he worries too much and that there's no danger while failing to notice Orson's mean brothers' Paper-Thin Disguise as a hen and a tree (one of them was just holding two branches).
  • In "Barn of Fear" when the gang stayed in a spooky abandoned barn for the night.
    Wade: Do you hear anything?
    Roy: Why? Do you?
    Wade: Nope.
    Roy: Hold it. Do you realize what we all sound like?
    Wade: What?
    Roy: We sound like you.
    Wade: Oh. That bad.
    • When one of Orson's brothers, Wart, disguised as a ghost, had Roy and Wade cornered and asked 'Who will be the first to go?', this was these two wonderful, dear friends' reactions:
    Wade: (pushing Roy ahead) You go first!
    Roy: (pushing Wade ahead) No, you.
    (This goes on for several more seconds)
    Wade:...After you.
    Wade: You.
    Roy: First.
    Wade: Second!
    Roy: Third!
  • In "Swine Trek", when Lanolin was trying to make a sick Orson more comfortable in bed by covering him up with the blanket and fluffing his pillow....she did it too roughly and hilarity ensued.
  • This part from "Nothing to Be Afraid of":
    Roy: Wade! Giant lobsters from outer space are stalking us all with drawn butter!
    Wade: Oh! I've been worried about that! Help! Oh, help! (runs off) Giant lobsters from outer space! Major crustacean alert! Help me!
    Roy: (laughs) This is the fourteenth time I've done this to him today. I love it.
  • "Hogcules II", There's far too many to list, but here's a few examples like when Roy and Wade were fighting again (this time about the grain mess).
    Wade: It's not my fault. Roy did it. Let him clean it up.
    Roy: You opened the door, Wade.
    Wade: You tricked me! It's your fault.
    Roy: You were stupid enough to let me trick you. You should get the blame.
    Wade: You are the tricker, I am the trickee!
    Roy: Don't try to duck out of this, Haha!
    Wade: Cheap shot, rooster!
    • It was also very funny how in Orson's dream, Roy and Wade were a two-headed giant(Wade's inner tube head even had a Roy head next to him to interact with).
      Wade: You tricked me!
      Roy: You were stupid enough to let me trick you!
      Wade: (arguing about the bird bath) You said we were going to play pool. Instead, we come back with a 'swimming' pool.
      Roy: I want to go swimming.
      Wade: I hate the water!
    • At the end, when Roy and Wade were cleaning up the grain, one looking at the other and cleaning up faster to not let the other look better.
  • In "Little Red Riding Egg", Roy kept messing up his role/lines (as the wolf) to the point where they had to make many takes.
    Bo: Little Red Riding Egg, take...oh, I have no idea, man.
    • Wade (as the "helpless" Grandma) didn't hesitate giving the fox (who Wade thought was Roy as the wolf) a couple injuries (stepping on his foot). Then Roy (bound and gagged from the fox) warning Wade, it's a fox.
  • Roy being offended at "chicken jokes" during the musical number in the episode "Hamelot".
  • In "Flop Goes The Weasel", when Wade (not Roy) is hanging out with the chickens. Made more funnier when Roy saw this and was like 'WHAT THE HECK?!'
    Roy: You? Brave? You used to put on a parachute to stand on tiptoe.
    Wade: You are just jealous of my courage.
    Roy: Your courage? Ha! I laugh in your face. Ha! Haha! This is me laughing in your face.
    Wade: You cannot laugh in the face of someone truly heroic as I am!
    • Booker sets up a Box-and-Stick Trap to catch a worm. Roy and Sheldon think no one could possibly be stupid enough to fall for that, but then the bell goes off. Booker opens the trap and out comes Odie. Booker tells him he's in the wrong cartoon, so a dejected Odie leaves.
      Orson: [entering] Guys, someone's on the farm who shouldn't be here.
      Roy: We saw him: a cameo guest star.
    • Wade is boasting of his brave heroism against the Weasel and keeps interrupting Bo before he can say anything. When Booker and Sheldon get him to go after the Weasel again, Bo is left alone in the barn.
      Bo: Man, I wish I had a line in this episode.
  • In "Peanut-Brained Rooster":
    Roy: (dressed as a cowboy, running torwards Wade) Quick, Wyatt Earp! The James Boys are robbing the stagecoach!
    Wade: The haa...are robbing what??
    Roy: The James Boys! I'll try to head them off at the pass. You go get the posse. (takes Wade's bag of peanuts) Let me have the bag of peanuts.
    Wade: Right, I'll get the posse! You get the peanuts and I'll get the posse! (runs away) Help, help! The James Boys are robbing the stagecoach!... (marching back in realization) Wait a minute, I'm not Wyatt Earp.
    Roy: (laughs) What an oxymoron.
    Wade: (runs back towards Roy, takes the peanuts back) Hold on Rooster! You take me for the fool that I am! These are my personal peanuts.
    Roy: (kneeling, begging) Please let me have just one peanut. Please, please pleaeese?
    Wade: No one can eat just one peanut.
    Wade: ...Here you go, Roy. Uno peanuto. (Roy eats one peanut then leaves) Gee, I didn't think he could do it.
    • Roy couldn't have just one and quickly went back to Wade who shared it with the other farm animals.
      Roy: (runs back to Wade, begging) Wade, you were right, I was wrong! Let me have another peanut, please! Pretty, please! Please, please please! (Wade gives him the peanut bag) It's empty!
      Wade: I must've given Booker the last one. Sorry, Roy.
    • Later on, being deprived of peanuts and looking for them drove Roy to Sanity Slippage. And when he was looking for some peanuts in the haystack and gotten a long splinter stuck in his wing, he was yelling out certain words. We couldn't hear him but the fourth wall put a sign in front of him, saying censored which meant he was swearing.
  • "Deja vu, the sensation that you are doing something you have done before."
  • Episode 40, in the quickie with Roy's Lemonade Stand:
    Roy: Step right up. All the lemonade you can drink for a dime!
    Wade: (giving him the dime) Here you are, good merchant, a dime.
    Roy: (gives him a glass of lemonade) Here you go, Ducko.
    Wade: (drinks the whole glass) More lemonade, please.
    Roy: That will be another dime.
    Wade: Your sign says 'All you can drink for a dime.'
    Roy: Well, that's all you can drink for a dime. (laughs as Wade walks away mad.)
    • It gets funnier when Orson's mean brothers give Roy a dime and make him slave away, making all the lemonade they can drink.
    • From that same episode: the scene where Roy alerts Orson that "The chickens is missing!!" Orson then calls Roy out on his bad grammar by lecturing him on proper English, and Roy angrily proclaims, "Oh great! The weasel has the chickens, and you're teaching grammar!" Wade arrives, and then they all start speaking in butchered English (including Orson).
    • Wade's song about the merits of being fear-driven was also pretty funny, especially with all the added visual aids.
      I bet that you think you could never get hurt
      By a box of raisins or a flannel shirt!
  • In "Cock-A-Doodle Duel", Wade's reaction of Roy quitting and moving away. "Oh, that's awful! That's terrible! Can I have his room?" He asked the same thing in "Banana Nose".
    • Also, Roy's failed attempts at one-upping Plato. Right down to picking trees instead of flowers.
  • In the episode 42 quickie with Wade looking at himself in the mirror in disgust:
    Wade: (running to Roy) Roy, quick. look in the mirror and tell me what you see.
    Roy: (confused) ....My face.
    Wade: Thank Heavens. I thought it was mine. Yucko, icky, yeesh!
    Roy: ....
  • In "Much Ado about Lanolin", when Lanolin (Lanolina) appeared:
    Booker: Is that the real Lanolin or the imaginary Lanolin?
    Sheldon: She's not yelling. Must be the uh, the imaginary Lanolin.
    • The Running Gag of Wade showing up and lampooning speeches from the wrong Shakespeare plays.
  • In "Read Alert", Orson gets carried away with his imagination when he reads books. It was so funny when lots of stuff happened to both Roy and Wade, like running away from a giant, a Tyrannosaurus rex, an alien ship blasting rays at the two. It was one of those 'Roy and Wade go though heck and back' scenes. Luckily Roy manages to stop this by giving Orson a coloring book.
    • When the T. rex shows up, Wade starts stammering in horror before he runs off and comes back with a camera to take a picture of the T. rex. Roy stares at the picture and then looks up to see said T. rex, then he starts to get scared as he looks back at the photo and then back at the T. rex. Cue Roy doing an Eye Pop, a Jaw Drop, and stammering and gibbering in horror, which actually weirds out the T. rex. Wade's response is gold:
    Wade: Yes, that's about what I said.
    Roy: (as he and Wade get into racing positions) On your mark, get set, go! (fires a pistol and he and Wade take off)
  • In "Quack to the Future", where the gang ended up going back through time all the way to an earlier Garfield cartoon.
  • In "Mystery Guest", everybody (except Orson) was so stupid not to realize that the Mystery Guest was Garfield. Not even Jon Arbuckle was able to figure out who this guest was. It's also funny when Orson's brothers keep guessing who it is even after the reveal. Plenty of shout-outs abound.
  • In "Rainy Day Robot", the robot randomly calling items to fall from the sky whenever they are mentioned.
  • In "The Legal Eagle", Roy (as a Deputy) arresting the other animals and then to Wade:
    Roy: Doing a double-take without a permit! That's a 593.
    Wade: (running off) HELP! Rooster with a badge! Help!
    Roy: (appearing out of the waller) Hey, there's a 9-mile-per-hour speed limit passing a hog waller. (Wade hides in the scarecrow. Roy's also in the scarecrow.) Exceeding legal maximum occupancy of a scarecrow. That's a 240. (Wade excapes out of the scarecrow and hides in a pumpkin. Roy comes out of the water) Impersonating a hubbard squash. That's a 666!
    Wade: (head pops out of the pumpkin)'' I give up! Take me in! Lock me up and throw away the key!
    • Orson trying to talk some sense into Deputy Roy:
      Bo: (in jail) Orson will do it! Orson will get us out of here, man.
      Lanolin: (also in jail) You really think so Bo?
      (Orson is thrown in jail behind them, in a striped jail suit)
      Bo: (blunt) No.
    • Once everybody learned the rules in "Farm Laws" book was outdated since 1889, making the laws invalid:
      Orson: Who started all this anyway! (everybody glares at Orson) Oh...That's right.
  • From "The Wolf Who Cried Boy": "Or we'll make sure the farmer's wife gets a new feather duster-YOU!" for two reasons: One, the whole fate for Roy is funny and second, Lanolin is making derp eyes while saying this.
    • The scene where Wade hides in a water-pipe. The way he looks is funny, and also, he mispronounces the word "wolf".
  • The whole episode of "Who Done It?". Three dog brothers (named Who, What, and Where) are hired, and their names cause great confusion among the characters.
    Roy: Hi, you must be one of the new workers. What is your name?
    What: That's right.
    Roy: What is right?
    What: Yep. What is my name.
    Roy: That's what I asked. What is your name?
    What: That's right.
    Roy: Tell me your name.
    What: What.
    Roy: Tell me your name.
    What: What.
    Roy: Aah! What is your name?!
    What: Now you got it.
    • Then later, with Orson:
    Roy: Orson, tell me the name of the new worker in the tool shed.
    Orson: What.
    Roy: Tell me the name of the new worker in the tool shed.
    Orson: What.
    Roy: (annoyed) Who is the guy in the tool shed?
    Orson: No, Who is fixing the roof.
    Roy: (looks at Orson's list) I don't care about the roof. Where is the name of the guy in the shed?
    Orson: (takes back his list) No, Where is the name of the guy plowing the field.
    Roy: Who's plowing the field?
    Orson: No, Who's fixing the roof.
    (Roy is losing his mind when Wade suddenly appears)
    Wade: Orson, what is the name of the guy fixing the roof?
    Orson: No, What is the name of the guy cleaning the tool shed.
    Wade: Who's cleaning the tool shed?!
    Orson: No, Who's fixing the roof.
    Roy: Who is the guy plowing the field?
    Orson: No, Who is fixing the roof. Where is the guy plowing the field.
    Roy: How should I know? What is his name?
    Orson: No, What is the name of the brother cleaning the shed.
    Wade: Whose brother?
    Orson: Of course!
    Roy: Orson, who is fixing the roof? What is the name of the guy cleaning the shed? And where is the other brother?
    Orson: You finally got it.
    • Then when Orson's brothers run into them:
    Who: We can't let you steal those apples.
    Mort: Oh, a wise guy, huh? I wanna know your name.
    Who: Who.
    Mort: Your name, pal.
    Who: Who.
    Who: (points to his brother) No, What is his name.
    Mort: I want to know your name.
    Who: Who.
    • Continuing with Orson's brothers:
    Gort: Tell me that guy's name.
    What: Where.
    Gort: The guy standing next to you.
    What: Where.
    Gort: WHAT IS HIS NAME?!?!?
    What: No, What is my name.
    (Gort does a Jaw Drop)
    • Still with Orson's brothers:
    Wart: What is your name?
    Where: No, What is my older brother.
    Wart: Who is your older brother?
    Where: No, Who is my younger brother.
    • At the end, after Orson's brothers are gone and the mixup has been cleared:
    Who: Say, you think you could find another job?
    What: It's for our sister.
    Roy: Tell me her name.
    Brothers: Why.
    Roy: Because I wanna know.
    Brothers: Why.
    Roy: Just tell me her name.
    Brothers: Why.
    Roy: Oh, forget it!
    Brothers: Oh, he's our uncle!
  • In "Temp Trouble", there are a lot of these.
    • As usual for a Roy and Wade interacting episode, a lot of moments were funny, including:
    Roy: How many times have I been proven untrustworthy?
    Wade: I don't know, what show number is this?
    • Roy becoming naked after getting scared by a jack in the box.
    • When Roy tries to do the creamed corn prank, Aloysius approaches him, leading Roy to respond by calling him "pork belly". Aloysius is not pleased.
      Aloysius: Making fun of my waistline? That's not right!
    • Aloysius quarreling with a goat, telling it not to lick glue off a can.
    • "It's Saturday morning. Do you know where your children are?"
    • The part with Aloysius' mom at the end is funny if you actually low-pitch the audio by -12 percent. Why? She was voiced by Kevin Meaney himself! And it isn't the only time he would voice a girl.
    • The impersonations of Aloysius at the end.
  • In "The Discount of Monte Cristo", after Aloysius tells that animators get paid 100 dollars per week, a sound that sounds like he pooped or farted plays.
    Aloysius: I fired them!"
    • Orson, Roy and Wade doing a Take That! at Aloysius by doing a play where he is stranded on an island with nothing.
    • In the Spanish version, during the scene where Orson is fed up with Aloysius, Orson yells "Basta!" and Aloysius cries.
    • Aloysius randomly showing up on a boat when Edmond is taken to prison and listing various costs before yelling "Location permit!".
  • In Kiddie Korner, the U.S. Acres regulars try to find a nursery rhyme to perform that won't offend Aloysius's sensibilities:
    Roy: Boy, this is the most violent episode we've ever done!
    Orson: All these rhymes have death and people falling down and breaking their crowns!
    • We also have this line by Aloysius Pig: "This is a cartoon show, NOT Masterpiece Theater!"
    • Da-Dum... The Network!
      • The Da-Dum sound coming on while Orson reads Aloysius Pig's card, since it sounded like he said a curse word.
      • Roy and Aloysius' argument after the latter claims that Georgie Porgie has "anti-social behavior".
    • Aloysius poking Orson with his hat.
    • In the Spanish version of this episode: "La pequena Lou, se sento en su poo". This means "The Little Lou sat in his poo" in English. It's funny when you think about it!
    • Aloysius being shown programming the fall schedule.
    • Aloysius' chase scene at the end.
  • Roy and Wade continuously amending the ending to Rumpelstiltskin in "The Name Game".
    Roy: But before the duck-son could say the name, a hurricane came up!
    Orson: A hurricane!?
    Roy: Yes, a hurricane. And it blew the duck away, so he couldn't take his VCR back.
    Wade: Uno momento! Then, a spaceship came by! And it rescued the handsome duck and flew him back to reclaim his VCR.
    Roy: But the rooster was determined to get it back with the aid of his trained dinosaurs!
    Orson: Trained dinosaurs? Where did the trained dinosaurs come from?
    Roy: Same place all those ninjas came from.
    Wade: But then the Third Marine Division landed with their Anti-Trained Dinosaur Squadron.
    Roy: But the Mole People were too smart for the Marines!
  • Here are a few lines from 'Snow Wade and the 77 Dwarves, Part 1'.
    • —>(Imaginary)Lanolin: (as the evil Queen) Mirror, act like Honest Abe, and tell me who's the most fabulous babe?!
    • The "No, I'm (adjective)!" running gag with the 77 Dwarves.
    • Cloe: Yeah! That Wicked Queen is very dumb! (Queen Lanolin peeks out from behind the tree Orson, Booker, Sheldon, and Cloe pass.)
    • Queen Lanolin (staring at the audience): If you want anything done in this world, you gotta do it yourself!
    • "No, Departing's right over here. Oh, he left." This is funny because the dwarf sounded like he said "laughed" instead of "left".
      • Made funnier in the Spanish version, where it sounds like he is saying "Soufflé" instead of "Su fue", or "He left".
    • Old Hag Lanolin: "Poison apple, my dear?" Snow Wade: "Oh, I'll try anything that's free!" Snow Wade: (as he is about to die) "Uh oh, I'm doomed...." Doomed: "No, I'm Doomed." (Snow Wade dies)
  • And here are some from Snow Wade's second part:
    • The beginning where Bo was just calmly walking by, then he sees Orson chasing Roy, with Roy yelling, "No! I will not kiss Wade!", and Bo's expression was like, Um..What??
    • "I knew this was a girl's story!"
    • Anytime Queen Lanolin said "NO!" to Snow Wade.
    • As anticlimactic as it was, the fact that they resolve the story and defeat the Evil Queen just by saying "And they lived happily ever after".
  • "Uncle Roy To The Rescue"
    • The part where the weasel threatens to eat the audience.
    • The reveal that Roy is reading cue cards held by Booker during his date.
  • Here are some from The Midnight Ride of Paul Revere's Duck:
    • When Roy cries when he receives only one piece of fanmail and we see Bo driving a whole truck of fanmail meant for Wade Duck.
    • When Paul Revere's Duck gets creeped out by a roach.
    • "The Yiddish are coming!"
    • When Wade gets scared of "imitating reality" at the end of the episode.
  • In "Winter Wonderland", to try to snap Orson out of the summer fantasy sequence he is having, the weasel turns on the radio and plays a weather broadcast, making Orson look scared.
    • The ending, when they leave the weasel stranded in the water, and they tell him it was all a fantasy, leaving him cold.
  • In "Holiday Happening", when Roy calls Wade a "fruit-face" after he asks why everyone is throwing pies at him.
    • The chase scene near the end:
    Roy: Just look at the good side of it, duck, your face will be lemon-fresh!
    • Roy's reaction to being punished.
  • Anytime Sheldon yells "BORING!" in response to a story.
  • In "A Mildly Mental Mix-Up", when on the game show, Roy responds incorrectly to the question "Who is the main character of Garfield and Friends" by saying that he is. This is funny because he still got it correct, although that we all know the main character of the show is Garfield.
  • From the episode "Much Ado About Orson", sorry, I meant "A Little Time Off":
    • Lanolin: "I'm sitting on an orange crate in the middle of the barnyard junk heap with four jerks."
    • Wade's "Wild Blue Yonder song", because he sang off sync with the music and forgot the lyrics at the end.
    • Lanolin attacking the weasel as a cowgirl.
  • In "Orson's Diner", Orson tells Roy that if Roy asks for something they can't make, than he will get free food for a month. The first two attempts fail. Then Roy does a long and ridiculous request...
    Roy: I'd like an alligator-cheese sandwich made with cheese from an alligator named Cynthia, I want it with lettuce grown in Northern Bolivia and picked on Memorial Day, I want it served on rye bread with exactly 71 caraway seeds per slice, and I want a pickle in the shape of Muncie, Indiana. note 
    Orson: Very good. One #8!
    • Another moment comes at the end when Wade and Orson decide they can't bring themselves to off an escaped circus elephant in order to fill Roy's order for an elephant foot sandwich with mustard, but since they have the elephant anyway...
    Orson: Well, Roy, you win. We can't fill your order for an elephant foot sandwich with mustard, so you get meals for a month.
    Roy: Hah! I knew it! Didn't have any elephant back there, huh?
    Orson: Oh, we have plenty of elephant.
    (Roy wigs out as Orson brings the elephant out from the back)
    Orson: We're just out of mustard.
    (Roy passes out)
  • "The Incredibly Stupid Swamp Monster" is one of the funniest U.S. Acres segments, with all of its lampshade hangings and take thats. These include potshots at Hanna-Barbera and Ren and Stimpy, Roy and Wade looking at the title card to confirm what the episode is about, and the ending where Roy is still in the bag the weasel put him in earlier in the episode and proceeds to try to hop to a new show.
  • In the beginning of "Big Bad Buddy Bird", Wade comes panicking that it's National Don't Mention Meat Or Someone Will Hit You With a Banana Cream Pie Day.
    Roy: What? You mean I'll get hit with a banana cream pie if I mention, oh say, prime rib? (a pie hits him) That's a lot of baloney! (another pie hits him) Who do I complain to? I have a real beef! (a third pie hits him)
    Roy: I have too much at stake! (a fourth pie hits him) I said stake. S-T-A-K-E. Not steak, S-T-E-A-K. (a fifth pie hits him)
    Roy: I don't care if people think I'm a ham. (a sixth pie hits him)
    (After Roy has quit the show)
    Wade: Roy's quit for good? Oh, now we are in a stew! (Hit with a pie)
    Orson: Wade, that's what you get for being so frank. (Hit with a pie)
  • Viewers of the UK series "Rainbow" will get a bonus laugh at the end of "The Bad Sport" when Wade identifies his hippopotamus as George.