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Funny / Garfield

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In general:

  • Whenever the talking scale speaks to Garfield.
  • Anything involving the TV.
  • Several jokes involving coffee, such as when it is too weak or too strong.
  • Garfield's very loud burps are never not funny.
  • Whenever Jon answers the phone only to find out that Garfield has been causing trouble.
  • Almost any gag involving the Spluts. One particularly impressive one is coupled with Medium Awareness.
  • Many of Jon's pick-up lines, with the crowner being, "Excuse me, I have healthy gums."
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  • Whenever Jon has trouble setting up Christmas decorations (such as lights and the tree).
  • Anything involving the refrigerator and the mutated abominations that come out of it.

Specific examples:

  • One comic has the refrigerator light burn out, and Garfield, thinking it was never bright enough anyway, replaces it with a HUGE Bulb. Soon, Jon is headed for the fridge looking for a midnight snack. The final panel has light shooting out of every window and the chimney and Jon yelling for Garfield.
  • Jon's jaw falling to the floor upon seeing what Garfield has done to his chair.
  • Garfield apparently robbed a bank thinking it was a bakery. Jon's reaction is what makes it.
  • Jon asks Garfield if he's ready to eat, which for some reason causes Garfield to get really upset at Jon. The over-the-top delivery of the last line is what makes the strip.
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  • Garfield watching a cheesy romantic movie that consists entirely of "John! Marsha!" for 4 panels straight. he changes the channel and facepalms when he gets "George! Shirley!"
  • Two different successful attempts at randomness, both involving vines: one coming out of nowhere inside the house, and another being used to rescue Garfield from a ginormous bowl of oatmeal.
  • Garfield trying out a whole bunch of exotic bird calls. While it initially appears nothing happened, which gives Garfield the line "Maybe I 'nicked' when I should have 'greeeebeled,'" there's a whole bunch of exotic birds standing right behind him.
  • In one strip, Garfield begs Jon for some of his dinner. Jon tells him to knock it off, saying he can have any food that falls on the floor. Garfield promptly tilts the table, causing all the food on it to fall off.
    Jon: I hate you.
    Garfield: I can live with that.
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  • A scene with Garfield watching TV: "The court calls Gouda May Freegenweegenswallodribbenfraxenlaxenismabittle to the stand. Be seated, Mrs. Freegenweegenswallodribbenfraxenlaxenismabittle. Please state your name." Cue Face Palm in the third panel.
  • Garfield's "I hate..." series of strips which lasted six days in February 1987.
    Garfield: [awakened by a loud ringing, he begins furiously smashing something just off panel] I hate alarm clocks. [pan out to reveal that the alarm clock is intact and that Garfield has unknowingly smashed the telephone instead]
    Garfield: [trying to jump on a spider] I hate spiders! [crashes through the floorboards, missing the spider] I hate hating spiders.
    Garfield: [after taking a bite of a doughnut from a plate left on the table] I hate wax doughnuts.
    Garfield: [while reaching for a doughnut, his chair collapses, smacking him in the face and throwing him to the floor] I hate folding chairs.
    Garfield: [after a gust of wind splatters him against a window] I hate windy days.
    Garfield: [unable to get comfortable in bed, he collapses the foot of the bed with his feet] I hate leg cramps.
  • When Garfield's jealousy of Liz reaches new heights...
    Jon: [on the phone] Liz, I think Garfield's jealous of you.
    [Garfield enters wearing a bathrobe, house slippers, and hair curlers]
    Garfield: You're talking to that woman again, aren't you?!
    Jon: [deadpan] Liz, I know Garfield's jealous of you.
  • Jon explaining a double date to his brother:
    Doc Boy: What's a double date?
    Jon: That's when you and I go on a date together.
    Doc Boy: Gee, it seems like it would be more fun if some girls came along.
  • The TV plays the "Piece of Dangling String" show. Garfield swats at the string after a beat.
  • In one Sunday strip, Garfield gets a phone call telling him he can get a grand prize if he answers two questions: what is the sound a cat makes, and what is the sound a dog makes? Garfield answers the first one correctly, but the second one... he messes that one up deliberately.
    • DUHHHHHHH...
    Garfield: I doubt if I was eligible anyway.
    • An earlier comic has Garfield winning a new house by correctly answering "What sound does a Felis domesticus (house cat) make?" He does this by meowing into the phone, but then the announcer asks for his name and address. In the next panel, Garfield has fainted, and the announcer is asking, "And how do you spell your name, Mr. Aaarrrgghh?"
    • In a contrast to the above, Garfield angry at a TV station, and depressed when Reality Ensues to his attempt to "give them a piece of my mind".
  • When Garfield wakes up one morning and Jon decides to go jogging...Garfield falls right back to sleep.
    • A later strip has Jon waking Garfield up at five in the morning to go jogging... then promptly yawns and falls asleep next to him in his jogging clothes. "I knew that nonsense wouldn't last long."
    • Another strip has Jon waking Garfield at 4 AM to watch the sunrise. Garfield's response?
  • A comic shows Garfield using the Puppy-Dog Eyes trick on Liz to get some cookies... but just then, it backfires, making Garfield give his food to her and head over to Jon. The former's response?
    Garfield: She's good.
  • Jon is talking on the phone to a woman and sees Garfield swiping his steak dinner. His reaction is to shout "YOU FAT GREEDY PIG! I OUGHTA SHAVE YOU BALD AND PUT YOU OUT IN THE COLD!" The woman on the phone assumes that Jon is talking to her and hangs up.
  • One comic gives us Garfield using an ironing board as a surf board in the shower stall, resulting in a very startled Jon as his cat shoots out of the stall on a huge wave shouting "COWABUNGA!" when he opens the door.
    Jon: Why can't you bat at a piece of string like other cats?!
  • Another example of TV-viewing:
    TV voice: It's the "Binky the Clown Show"!
    TV voice: Today is "Health Day," kids! Let's see who's at the door...
    TV voice: Why, it's "Petey," the bloated tick!
    Garfield: That is one ugly puppet.
  • Garfield is served dinner:
    Jon: Oh, come on, Garfield. The cat food isn't that bad.
    Garfield: Then let's see how YOU like it! [shoves some of the food into Jon's mouth]
    Jon: Mmm, good.
    Garfield: YOU LIE!
  • Jon refusing to understand love stories don't have car chases.
    Liz: This is a great love story.
    Jon: Are there car chases?
    Liz: It's a love story.
    Jon: Do they go over cliffs?
    Liz: It's a love story.
    Jon: Do the cars explode?
    Jon: Cool!
    Garfield: Turn it up!
  • Garfield tells Jon that he has never thanked Jon for all he has done, and that he doesn't plan to.
  • Garfield uses willpower to resist eating a hamburger. He cries "Wah!" and Jon says, "I'm beginning to worry about Garfield."
  • Garfield lets Jon have the last of the ice cream. He replaced it with lard.
  • This exchange with Irma:
    Irma: Hon, you didn't eat your vegetables.
    Jon: What are you going to do, call my mother?
    Irma: I believe I will.
    Jon: [Stuffing the veggies into his mouth] Look, I'm eating 'em! I'm eating 'em!
    Garfield: Tell her he ate his dessert first!
  • Jon becomes a mime, and flirts with a lady mime, whose jealous boyfriend beats him up. In the last panel, Jon emits a tiny, "Ow..." and Garfield scolds him with, "Ah ah ah! You're not supposed to talk!"
  • The strip involving Garfield finding a giant hamburger, only for the hamburger to tell him that Garfield is dreaming. Garfield responds that he assumed as such and leaves. Cue Garfield then leaping back into frame, bearing claws and fangs, yelling "NEVER ASSUME!"
  • Garfield flushes the alarm clock down the toilet before Jon walks into the bathroom. "The toilet is ringing! What should I do?" "Take a message."
  • Jon decides to go to the beach, but is shocked when Garfield inflates a pool toy and he doesn't see it happening.
  • In one Sunday, Jon fashions a suit out of Sunday newspaper comics, which he thinks will help him pick up chicks. He finds a lady jogger, but before he can say anything, it begins to rain. A lot. When it clears, Jon's been reduced to his underwear.
    Woman: Your punchline is showing.
    Garfield: Now that's funny.
  • "I couldn't decide what shirt to wear... So I put all of them on".
  • Some time after they started dating, Liz joins Jon on a trip to the beach. Jon's mind nearly breaks when he first sees Liz in a bikini. Even funnier is the way Odie tips up his shades in a double-take.
  • Garfield becomes fed up with Jon's snoring and shoves a pillow in his mouth.
    Jon: GAHHHHFEE!!!
    Garfield: Oh, pipe down and gimme your pillow.
  • Garfield hears some strange noises at night.
    Garfield: The wind, the house settling...
    Jon: Wha?!... HOOP! YAAAAH!!
    Garfield: Jon getting up and stepping on Odie.
  • Another strip has Garfield naming all the peaceful sounds of the night... then he hears them all at once, prompting an Aside Glance. Much later on, the strip gets a Call-Back when Garfield complains about not getting enough sleep.
  • Garfield and Jon's hot pepper eating contest. Jon wins by way of Garfield giving in to a Peruvian death pepper...but feels no satisfaction due to Garfield having incinerated Jon with his breath. Four panels from this comic currently serve as the page image for Pyrrhic Victory.
  • One comic has Garfield and Jon celebrate National Drama Day, where they completely flip out over the smallest things like burnt toast, the fridge light bulb going out, and running out of floss. They finally calm down...only for Garfield to calmly say that Jon's car is on fire.
  • While they're out for a walk, Jon asks Garfield where he'd like to eat. Garfield chooses "Ernie's Eat Till You Explode Restaurant".
    Garfield: Let's just say I have a good feeling about it.
  • Garfield struggles with a way-too-big Christmas sweater. Jon and Odie find it hilarious. Garfield's response is to force THEM into the sweater.
  • On Jon's advice, Garfield takes a long, hard look at himself.
    Jon: I said...
    Garfield: (grinning at his reflection like an idiot) Hang on.
  • This strip has Liz telling Jon to throw out a shirt that he's wearing... that doesn't fit him anymore. Jon protests, then begs Garfield to help him out. Garfield's response?
    Garfield: (poking Jon in the stomach) Beep.
    • And in the NEXT strip we see a now bare-chested Jon telling Garfield that Liz just doesn't understand how a guy FEELS about his favorite shirt. Then he asks Garfield if HE understands. Garfield's response?
    Garfield: (poking Jon in the stomach again) Beep.
  • A foot of snow fell... concentrated on a very small area. Specifically, a bored-looking Jon's head.
    Garfield: (to the audience) Figures.
  • Jon gets Garfield a matching suit.
    Garfield: (walking away) It wasn't easy, but it did fit up his nose.
    Jon: NARFIELD!
  • Most kids love building forts and throwing snowballs. Garfield and Odie, meanwhile, are out for world domination.
  • Here we see Jon, Garfield and Odie decorating the Christmas tree. All that's left is to put the star on top. Then Jon screams at the top of his lungs and asks, "What happened to the top of the tree?!" The answer: a mouse chopped it off for his OWN Christmas tree.
  • This strip. All of it.
    (Garfield offers Jon some food out of a box)
    Jon: (eats it) Why, thank you, Garfield. (reads the box) DOG FOOD?! QUICK! GIMME SOMETHING TO DRINK!
    Jon: (after drinking it) HOT SAUCE! I'M BURNING UP!
    (Garfield brings him the fish bowl, which Jon drinks water from)
    (Garfield offers Jon some anchovies, which Jon eats)
    Garfield: (to the reader) This could go on for days.
  • This strip consists entirely of Jon blathering on to an extremely bored Garfield about his days on the farm. His yammering is translated for the first few panels as "Blah blah blah blah blah..." Garfield hallucinates him as a pig, an alien, a rooster, and a bunny.
  • "Enough with the hair dryer wars!"
    • Speaking of strips involving hair dyers, there's this strip, which consists of Garfield and Odie using hair dryers on Jon. The hairstyles they give him are funny enough on their own, but what really makes it is that the whole time Jon just stares at the audience with a bored expression on his face.
  • Someone calls Jon to say, "I won't go out with you!"
    Jon: I wonder who that was?
    Garfield: (Smacks forehead) Rejected by wrong numbers!
  • The first housefly of Spring is looking for a welcome:
    Housefly: I was hoping for something a little more FESTIVE!
    Garfield: [throwing confetti while still wearing a deadpan expression] Huzzah.
    Housefly: I hate you!
  • Jon's parents come for a visit and the father attempts to use a modern sink. Jon's panic and the father's triumphant look in the last panel are what really make it.
  • Jon warns Garfield not to lay a hand on his pie. Garfield enacts Exact Words and slams his face into it.
    • Speaking of strips involving Exact Words and pie, here Jon tells Garfield not to hit him in the face with the pie that he is holding. The result: "PIE DOWN THE PANTS!"
  • During a power outage Jon asks Garfield to use his "cat instincts" to lead them to the basement. Come sunrise, he's somehow led them up a tree.
  • Eating Garfield's food gets Nermal literally thrown out. The nonchalance on Garfield's face is hilarious.
  • In this strip Garfield and Odie drive Jon insane by eating his food behind his back.
  • This strip has Irma answering that the diner's special for today is "Chicken Surprise", which Jon orders two for himself and Garfield. Cue Irma putting on a chicken mask and yelling "Surprise! Surprise!"
    Jon: (whispering to Garfield) You distract her. I'll call the hospital.
    Garfield: Got it.
  • The traditional "Family Around the Hearth." Followed by the traditional "Flaming Socks Dance."
  • Jon discovers that Garfield has drawn a mustache on a framed photo of him and angrily tells him to fix it. Garfield complies... and promptly draws an identical mustache on Jon's face.
  • All of Jon's socks have holes in them? Sounds like a job for the Masked Avengers!
  • Jon can't find his bag of chocolate-covered coffee beans. Garfield zings across for a panel.
  • Garfield asks Jim Davis if laziness is contagious, all while the art of the strip gets rougher and rougher. Jim's signature is even accompanied by a "Right!"
  • Jon discovers that Ellen has no feelings toward him at all.
    Jon: How about pity?
    Garfield: I thought hitting bottom would make a louder noise.
  • The first Christmas Eve strip. Santa drops by to bring presents for Jon, Lyman and Odie. He then stalls for a bit before coming to Garfield, because he was the "only kid in the world to ask for 20 pounds of lasagna."
  • The logo box to this strip. Garfield has his name written across two large stockings with Santa giving an Aside Glance.
  • This strip. Garfield watches as a UFO lands in front of him, and then two snowman aliens emerge and demand that he surrender. The fact that the entire time Garfield has a bored expression on his face (he's not at all surprised by the UFO or the aliens) is already hilarious, but it gets even better - the snowman aliens realize that it's the middle of summer and promptly melt.
    Garfield: Who schedules your invasions?
    Snowman Alien: (now a puddle) Oh, shut up.

For 2004 Live-Action film

  • Garfield trying several attempts to wake Jon up.
    Garfield: Oh, Sleeping Beauty, wake up! You can stop dreaming about me because I'm here. (pulls the covers off) Now just wake up. You've got work to do. You're not just my owner, you're my primary caregiver!
    Jon: Not now, Garfield. (rolls over, his arm squeezes Garfield's neck)
    Garfield: Ack! Cut the sweet stuff! Easy now! (pulls his head free then saunters off Jon's bed) Trying to cuddle with me, huh? Trying to avoid your duties, huh? Well, that just ain't gonna fly! Isn't gonna work for me! (climbs up a stack of books to get to the top of a cabinet just across from Jon's bed) See, I'm getting my exercise doing my job. Just one quick CANNONBALL! (leaps off the cabinet and onto Jon's stomach; Jon coughs) Morning!
    Jon: GARFIELD!
  • Jon takes Odie on his date with Liz, leaving Garfield behind. Garfield begins chasing Liz's pick-up truck and manages to climb onto the bed. Then the traffic light turns red and Liz puts the brakes on, sending Garfield smacking into the back window, while Jon and Liz take no notice of him.
    Garfield: [muffled] Oh, my poor nose...
  • Meta-example: Bill Murray took the script because he thought it was by Joel Coen yet it was really by Joel Cohen (one of the writers of Toy Story)

For A Tale of Two Kitties:

  • Upon coming up to Buckingham Palace, Garfield tries to get a rise out of a traditional British Royal Guard but was unsuccessful. Then Odie did the "Ugly American Thing", resulting in the guard chasing him and Garfield.
    Garfield: The British are coming! The British are coming! (To Odie) Well, you made him crack, anyway.
  • Garfield getting stuck in the model of Carlysle castle.
    Garfield: Does this castle make my butt look a little too big?

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