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  • Soren ends a conversation in Chapter 23 between himself, Ike and Aimee by saying "Ikey-poo!" with Ike going, "Hey, wait a minute!". The audience would likely be just as baffled as they slowly realize the fact that Soren just made a joke. Teasing Ike.
    • This is right after an already rather comical scene; just imagining a terrified Ike running from the rabid fangirl that is Aimee and into Soren’s tent, probably hiding under a desk or something, is pretty hilarious in it of itself. Since it was apparently silly enough for even Soren to tease Ike, one has to imagine it was quite a sight.
  • Soren's advice on how to keep Volke in check:
    Soren: I believe this will be a good opportunity. We will almost certainly have need of this man's talents. He is a dubious character at best, but at least we know his motives: everything begins and ends with gold. He'll be easy to control.
    Ike: Soren, he's standing right there.
    Soren: I don't think he minds.
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  • Gatrie and Shinon's first support conversation.
    Gatrie: But every time I spend money, you give me a hard time!
    Shinon: I do? How?
    Gatrie: What about the other day, when I bought the Ultimate Shield?!
    Shinon: Gatrie, that was a castle gate. Hey, did you ever give that back? That guard thought you were a thief.
    Gatrie: And remember the SpeedBring 4000? That secret elixir that boosts speed just by sprinkling it over your body—
    Shinon: You mean that putrid snake oil? You dumped the whole bottle on your head without smelling it first.
    Gatrie: But that wonderful little potion worked! I DID move faster!
    Shinon: You moved faster because thirty stray dogs were chasing you.
    Gatrie: See! You're giving me a hard time again!
  • In Gatrie's supports with Marcia, he challenges Ike to a fight so he can impress Marcia. It ends as well for Gatrie as one would expect.
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  • Shinon's conversation with Ike before Chapter 23. He's absolutely WASTED.
  • Pretty much everything Bastian says sounds like it came out of a Shakespeare play.
    Bastian: Commander, you are tired and unaware
    of how your body doth cry out for rest.
    If it would please you, I was of a mind
    to partake in a sweet and soothing draught.
    A beverage warm, and pleasant to the lips.
  • Kieran, the ultra-Keet. It works well in contrast to the calmer Oscar.
    Oscar: Hi, Kieran. How are you?
    Kieran: What the... Oscar! How I loathe that name! Don't give me such pleasant greetings! I care not for them!
    Oscar: What did I do now?
    Kieran: Oh ho! Don't tell me you've forgotten our second year of enlistment! The year we completed horsemanship? There was a final race to end the year... My beloved horse and I were flawless, but you beat us by the smallest of margins!
    Oscar: Huh? Oh, are you talking about that race you challenged me to? Yeah, that was fun... But I thought the distance between us was at least three lengths—
    Kieran: Ha! LIAR! Deceitful, lying, squinty coward! That was the very moment I marked you as my archrival! Don't pretend not to care!
    Oscar: Uh...wow. I had no idea—
    Kieran: But why!? I must know why you left the Crimean knighthood without a word of explanation! I devoted myself to training with my horse! I worked day and night so I could best my archrival... And thanks to my extreme devotion... I didn't realize you were gone until six months later! Delinquent! Reneger!
    Oscar: Wait a sec... Kieran. How is that my fault?
    • Kieran is in Large Ham mode even long before that: when you first meet him. Open his jail cell and use Oscar to talk to him. You won't regret it.
      Oscar: You're from Crimea, right? Come on—we're here to rescue you. We've opened your cell. Now's the time to escape.
      Kieran: Ah! It's you! I could never forget that squint! Knights of Crimea, twelfth regiment...your name is Oscar!
      Oscar: And you're... Wait a moment...You're Kieran, right?
      Kieran: That is correct! I am Kieran...The same Kieran who has sworn himself to be your eternal rival!
      Oscar: Uh...Right...Kieran...So...how've you been? You look good.
      Kieran: As always, your manner is listless and inappropriate. It befits one who would call me foe! You were discharged three years ago...What are you doing here now? Aha! Could it be...You dastard! You've turned your coat and gone over to Daein, haven't you? Rarrrrr! What despicable, contemptible behavior! Unforgivable! Have you no shame? You were my one true rival! Where has your pride gone?
      Oscar: The mercenary company I'm attached to serves under the command of the princess of Crimea! We came here to free any Crimean prisoners.
      Kieran: The princess of Crimea?!? You're not part of the royal guard! How do you know about the princess?
      Oscar: Well, like I said, the princess is our employer and—
      Kieran: Aha! So that's your scheme, is it? You hope to distinguish yourself by meritorious service and gain the glory that is rightfully mine! Admit it!
      Oscar: Look, my duty is...
      Kieran: Blast you! Curse your name! Curse the name of Oscar and all who call him kin! I will never let you surpass me! Princess! I'm coming! Kieran will be forever at your side!
      Oscar: Whoa...He's even more excitable than I remember. Hard to believe he's actually a decent knight...
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    • Kieran's Supports with Rhys are largely about Kieran's high energy and hot blood getting him injured and Rhys showing concern while caring for Kieran. Their A-support ends with Kieran promising to take it easy. One second later:
      Kieran: ...Ooooh, look! A bear!
      Rhys: No, Kieran! NOOOOOOOOOOO!
  • Pretty much anything involving Oliver. He acts about as obsessively bishonen as Yumichika...never mind the fact that he's a delusional gonk.
  • The entire recruitment conversation for Largo is one long CMOF. It starts with Largo bragging about how he's a "world-class berserker" and asking to see the general (not expecting it to be someone as puny as Ike). After lampshading how familiar this sounds (re: Calill's recruitment), Ike tries to hire him, and Largo initially laughs it off until Calill interjects and asks General Ike if he's going to hire Largo.
    Calill: You know, he's a world-class—
    Ike: Berserker. So I've heard.
  • Ike has some pretty great Deadpan Snarker moments towards various bosses:
    Danomill: Oh, yes… Excellent. What a defiant stare you have. You’re exactly the type of prisoner I long for. I will watch as hope fades from your eyes and revel as despair clouds your vision. It will be transcendent.
    Ike: …Don’t count on it.

    Gromell: You knew we were here, but still you charged our positions? I’ll teach you to regret your impudence!
    Ike: Sorry, but at this point, I don’t think you’re in a position to teach me anything.

    Bertram: …Perissssh…Perissssh…
    Ike: So you’re Bertram, are you? Sorry, but I can’t perish right now.
  • The boss of the penultimate chapter of Path of Radiance has some pretty good lines.
    Heddwyn: [vs Ike] That one… He has the look of a commander. If I can only hit him… Well, here goes nothing!
    Heddwyn: [vs Hawk Laguz] Is that a Feral One? Or is it an enemy…? I can’t tell the difference! I’ll attack it just in case.
  • Naesala gets a good one if you summon him to the final battle after Ashnard goes One-Winged Angel (Hard mode only).
    Naesala: ...Yeah, yeah, I'm here... What's everyone so worked up abou—Holy goddess above!!! Is that thing...King Daein? H-he's a monster! Wait... You want me to fight THAT? Are you insane?! I think you've got the wrong bird! Blast... This is going to get worse before it gets better...
  • When Ike's team gets on a ship to set sail for Begnion, Ike seeks out Volke to ask why he never shows up for any company meals after his sister expresses worry that Volke must be starving to death, since she never sees him eat. When Volke says that he doesn't like crowds and points out that Ike never had a problem with it when they were on land, Ike replies:
    Ike: Okay, listen: Land? Big. Ship? Small. It's not the same!
  • Volke has exactly one support partner in FE9: Bastian. From the first line of their C support, you know this is going to be good.
    Volke: You there, in the bushes. You have until the count of five to show yourself before I start throwing sharp objects. One...two...four...
  • Black Comedy at its finest, from the boss of chapter 22.
    Schaeffer: ...Gwaar... Haaaarr... Haaaaaa... Shoulda brought... more priests... Or some... babies... Dang...
  • Shinon's half-assed congratulations to Ike during the ending:
    Shinon: ... Bah. I suppose you want some kind of congratulations now, right? Too bad. You're a snot-nosed whelp and I'm still better than you. Don't ever forget that.
  • Tanith admitted to having her poor cooking take out some of Begnion's finest generals to Oscar.
  • Mia believing her "white-clad rival" is the sickly Rhys, and tries to teach him swordplay and horseriding. She completely ignores the possibility of two other white-clad sword users, one of whom is a mounted unit: Elincia and Lucia.
  • Ike, being charming as usual, bluntly telling Sigrun that Mist is bored walking around the Begnion castle. Mist immediately calls him out, but he just shrugs it off.
  • Mist will shove Boyd three spaces away before the final part of Chapter 17. Keep in mind, she's half his size at the time and could possibly be on a horse.
  • Although Greil's death is a Tear Jerker, there's some Black Comedy to be had in that, when taking the Fire Emblem franchise's weapon triangle into account, he was destined to die, since he challenged the Black Knight, a sword wielder, with an axe, which is weak against swords.
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