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Funny / Finding Nemo

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"Bad Squishy!"

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  • Dory speaking "whale." It actually works.
    • And when the whale is swimming farther away:
      Dory: (in whalespeak) Come baa-aaa-aaa-ack-ack...
    • The different dialects were pure gold.
      Dory: Didn't it sound a little like orca?
      Marlin: It doesn’t sound like orca, it sounds like nothing I’ve ever heard before!
    • Relax, whales don't eat fish, they eat krill.
      School of Krill: [Swimming past very quickly] Swim away!
      Dory: Oh look! Krill!
    • "Wow, I wish I could speak whale." (said by Dory herself after Marlin learns a bit of whale).
    • Marlin tells Dory she sounds sick during some of her attempts at dialects.
  • The little song she keeps singing, which goes "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, what do we do we swim, swim, swim..."
  • When the water starts draining in the whale's mouth:
    Marlin: Oh, no! The water's going down! It's going down!
    Dory: Really? You sure?
    Marlin: Look! Already, it's half-empty!
    Dory: Uh, I'd say it's half-full.
    • This gem from Marlin. Made even funnier by the fact that he's bouncing on the whale's tongue.
      Marlin: HOW DO I TASTE, MOBY!??? DO I TASTE GOOD!!???
  • When Dory tries go get information from a crabby crab. Doubles as a Moment of Awesome:
    Crab: Yeah, I saw him, Bluey, but I'm not telling you where he went, and there's no way you're gonna make me!
    Dory gives a Death Glare
    Cuts to Dory holding the crab out of water for the seagulls to see)
    Seagull: Mine?
    Other Seagulls: Mine! Mine!
    Crab: AHH! All right! I'll talk! I'll talk!
  • You can actually hear the "Why me?" in Marlin's tone during this scene:
    Dory: See, I suffer from short-term memory loss.
    Marlin: Short. Term. Memory loss... I don't believe this.
    Dory: Yeah, I forget things almost instantly. It runs in my family... at least, I think it does... hm, where are they? [pause] Can I help you?
  • Dory meets a small jellyfish and says, "I shall call him Squishy and he shall be mine and he shall be my Squishy. Come here, Squishy!". Then, when he stings her, she starts scolding him like a human might scold a pet.
  • The scene when Marlin and Dory enter the dark part of the ocean:
    Marlin: Dory, do you see anything?
    Dory: Ahhhh! Something's got me!
    Marlin: That was me; I'm sorry.
    Dory: (gasp) Who's that?!
    Marlin: "Who's that?" Who could it be? It's me!
    Dory: Are...are you my conscience?
    Marlin: ...Yeah, yeah, I'm your conscience. We haven't spoken for a while. How are you?
    Dory: Mmm, can't complain.
    Marlin: Eh, good. Now, Dory, I want you to tell you see anything?
    Dory: I see a...I see a light.
    Marlin: A light?
    Dory: Yeah, over there. Hey conscience, am I dead?
  • When Marlin and Dory are looking for a way to escape from the submarine, Dory sees some writing and says, "Hey, look. 'Es-ca-pay'. I wonder what that means? That's funny, it's spelled just like the word 'escape.'"
  • When Marlin and Dory are singing a victory song about how the anglerfish won't eat them, Dory says, "No eating here tonight; you on a DIIIIIET!"
  • Dory talking in her sleep.
    "Are you going to eat that?... Careful with that hammer... sea monkey has my money...Yes, I'm a natural blue..."
  • Dory singing completely happily, "Just keep swimming...just keep swimming" when she's stuck in the net with the other fish who are swimming down and repeatedly saying, "KEEP SWIMMING!"
  • In a moment that is otherwise pure Nightmare Fuel, Marlin goes from crowing, "The clownfish is the winner!" to Oh, Crap! when he realizes Dory didn't make it out of the jellyfish forest. He swims as fast as he can back into it to find her, and finds her in the tentacled embrace of one. Grabbing her away, Marlin tries to find a way out— and Dory, barely conscious, murmurs about their game, "Am I ''disqualified?"''
    • And when he introduces the game, she says, "Pick me!" as if there were anyone else Marlin could pick and when Marlin tells Dory not to touch the tentacles, she says, "Something about tentacles, got it!".
  • Marlin refuses to let Dory ask a whale for directions to Sydney out of fear that it will eat them. It does, but they get better.
    Marlin: Okay, now it's my turn. I'm thinking of something dark and mysterious. It's a fish we don't know! And if we ask it directions, it could ingest us and spit out our bones!
    Marlin: I don't want to play the gender card right now. You wanna play a card? Let's play the "let's not die" card.
  • While they're trying to escape from Bruce, Bruce is slamming against a door they went through and Dory calls out, "Who is it? ... Sorry, you're gonna have to come back later! We're trying to escape!"
  • As Marlin starts to tell the story about Nemo getting kidnapped to the baby turtles, Dory joins them in gasping and gathering around intensely to hear it.
    "No. Way."
  • When the moon fish are doing charades, she guesses a clam when they make an octopus. There's also this exchange.
    Moonfish: (make a lobster Where's the butter?
    Dory: It's on the tip of my tongue.
  • Dory calling Nemo different names by accident. She calls him Harpo, Chico, Fabio, Elmo, and Bingo.
  • Dory says that not letting anything happen to Nemo is a weird thing to promise, because it wouldn't be much fun for Nemo not having anything happen to him.
  • Dory finally meeting Nemo.
    Dory: I'm Dory.
    Nemo: I'm Nemo.
    Dory: Nemo? (beat) That's a nice name.

     Everything else 
  • When Nemo's friends see the boat, they think it's called a "butt", which leads to them saying things like "I'M GONNA TOUCH THE BUTT!!!"
    Marlin: Are you listening to me?!? Don't touch the boa-
    Nemo: (touches the boat)
    Marlin: NEMO!!!
    Tad: He touched the butt!
  • Or how about...
    Peach: It's morning everyone! Today's the day! The sun is shining, the tank is clean, and we are getting outta- [gasp] The tank is clean. THE TANK IS CLEA-A-A-AN!!
  • "Curse you Aquascum!!!" (Gurgle says this after finding that said filter has been installed because he was getting dirty despite being Terrified of Germs for nothing).
  • After Nemo gets his nickname, the others say, "SHARKBAIT, HOO HA HA" every time Gill says the name. Eventually, Gill gets bored of it and says, "Enough with the sharkbait.", to which Gurgle awkwardly says, "SHARKBAIT! HOO... ba-ba-doo."
  • When Dory tells Marlin to duck, he responds with "That's not a Duck!, it's a— PELICAN!!"
  • Bloat: IF... you are able to swim through... the RING... of FIRE!!! (dead silence) Turn on the ring of fire. The ring of fire! You said you could do it—
    Jacques: Oh, sorry! (turns on the volcano)
    Bloat: THERINGOFFIRE!!!!!!
    • Considering that the "ring of fire" is simply the bubbles from a fish tank underwater volcano, the sheer deadly seriousness with which everyone approaches Nemo's initiation ceremony makes the scene both surprisingly tense and utterly hilarious:
      Peach: Isn't there another way?! He's just a boy!
    • Bubbles gets attracted by the bubbles in the ring, and Deb slaps him with her leaf.
    • Gurgle has trouble pronouncing the "Ha-hoo-wah-hee-ha-ho-ho-ho" chant.
  • Turtles are funny.
    • Their version of high-fiving.
      Crush: OK, gimme some fin. (he and Squirt slap flippers) Noggin. (they bump heads) Dude.
    • Crush calls Marlin "Jelly Man" (which Squirt starts calling him too), Dory "Little Blue" and Squirt "Offspring".
    • Marlin asks Crush how he knows when his kids are ready to "fly solo". He replies that he isn't sure, but "when they know, you know, y'know?".
    • Squirt and his siblings ask Marlin if he's funny, where his shell is, and if his stripes come off.
    • Crush recaps the jellyfish incident by describing everyone as being "like, whoa!" said with different intonations.
  • Deb introducing Nemo to her twin sister Flo (actually her reflection in the glass tank).
  • The very very very end of the closing credits, when the little green fish from the Sharks' meeting EATS the angler fish!
  • Gurgle's Delayed Reaction when he learns that Nemo is from the ocean. Also his Establishing Character Moment.
    Gurgle: So, where ya from?
    Nemo: I'm from the ocean.
    Gurgle: Ah, the ocean...THE OCEAN! AAAAAAHHHHHH!!! He hasn't been decontaminated yet!
  • During Darla's visit to the dentist when everything's going nuts, and the reaction of the people in the waiting room. The dentist says, "All the animals have gone mad!" and then bumps his head on a scope.
  • When Nemo's classmates are sharing things about themselves, Tad says, "I'M OBNOXIOUS!" in a voice which sounds like he's boasting.
  • Mr. Ray, the overly-cheerful kindergarten teacher who is just a tad too into the material, singing constantly, even to the parents. During the fight between Marlin and Nemo, the mood is ruined for the audience when Mr. Ray tries to get the other children not to look!
    "THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE'S nothin' to see here! Gather! Uh... over there!"
    • None of the children in his classroom ever take him up on his offer to, "Come on, sing with me!" (Although they are kindergarteners; the scientific names are probably a little too hard to pronounce for most of them.)
  • Nemo trying (and failing) to tell Mr. Ray where he lives: in an anemone. To be fair, you'd probably have trouble with that phrase too.
    Nemo: Anemonemome. Anemomenemeneme. Amenenemomemonemome.
    Mr. Ray: All right, all right, don't hurt yourself...
  • When the lispy fish says, "OH MY GOSTH! NEMO'TH THWIMMING OUT TA' STHEEE!!!"
  • When the fish realize the patient isn't Darla, they say, "False alarm." (In the fullscreen version, we actually see the female patient's legs.)
  • Mr. Ray blanketing all the little fish kids with his body and saying, "Oh! I wonder where my class has gone?"
  • Marlin and Dory are being guided by Bruce through a foreboding part of the ocean filled with mines. He takes them into the submarine, where two of his friends are delighted to see him— "We've already gone through the snacks, and we're still starving!" Marlin gasps and closes his eyes, figuring those sharks will be the the last thing he ever sees— and then ring the bell, we're in the middle of an AA (or rather SA) meeting!
    "Fish are friends, not food!"
    • "I am a nice shark. Not a mindless eating machine..."
    • Then when they're reciting their pledge, Dory is happily holding up her fin along with them.
    • And the last scene shows that she's still going to the meetings!
    • After reciting the pledge:
      Anchor: Except stinkin' dolphins!
      Chum: DOLPHINS! Oh, yeah. They think they're so cute! "Oh, look at me! I'm a flippin' little dolphin! Let me flip for ye! Ain't I something?
    • Bruce popping out of the porthole and yelling, "HERE'S BRUCEEEYYYY!
      • When Bruce goes mad, his friends say, "INTERVENTION!!!". Another thing they say is, "Don't fall off the wagon."
    • "I'm havin' fish tonight!" (said by the hungry Bruce)
    • The fact that, as Bruce tries his damnedest to eat Marlin and Dory, the whole chase scene is interspersed with the other two sharks frantically apologizing on his behalf.
      • "Sorry about-" (BANG) "-Bruce, mate!" (BANG) "He's really-" (BANG) "-a nice guy!"
    • When Marlin relays the story of Nemo's abduction to the sharks:
      Chum: Humans, think they own everything!
      Anchor: Probably American.
    • "JUST ONE BITE!" As if that would reassure them...
    • One of the things Anchor and Chum say to defend Bruce is "he never even knew his father!"
    • Chum accidentally ate his "friend"! When a reluctant Marlin takes the deceased one's place, Chum describes him as "a little chum for Chum".
    • The only thing Dory says is, "I don't think I've ever eaten a fish", which the other sharks think is amazing.
  • When Marlin's tale of passing through the jellyfish forest is told, one of the baby turtles asks him "Mister Fish, did you die?"
  • The name of the Mountain Tank Ornament:
    Bloat: You have been called forth to the summit of Mount "Wannahawkaloogie"!
  • Nigel flying through the air with a heroic score in the background...and abruptly crashing into a window, startling the dentist so much that he accidentally forcefully yanks out his patient's bad tooth, putting the poor guy in extreme pain.
    Dentist: What the—?
    Patient: AAAAAHHH!!!!!!!
    Dentist: Well, uh...that's one way to pull a tooth. (chuckles) Well, good thing I pulled the right one, eh, Prime Minister?
  • The crabs. The hilarious crabs.
    • When Nemo pops out of the sewer vent:
      You let 'im go!! [bop on head] HEY!! 'EYYYYYYY!!
  • Bruce, Anchor and Chum: (after Marlin denies having a problem) Denial.
  • When Marlin is being chased around by the anglerfish, you can hear him saying, "Don't eat me, don't eat me, don't eat me — "
    Dory: Light, please! [the light shines inside the Anglerfish's belly, with Marlin muffled screaming]
    • Later, he says, "I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm dead, I died, I'm dead."
  • The seagulls and their one-track mind. Talk about Truth in Television!
    • For that matter, their first appearance when Nigel is trying to eat a crab:
      "OH, WOULD YOU JUST SHUT UP?! You're rats with wings!"
    • Then when Nigel throws his crab back to the seagulls:
      Crab: Ooooo-HI-YAH!! [plops into water]
      Seagull: Mine?
      ** Not only is their portrayal dead-on, but it's also funny as hell. Doubly so for the end of the chase sequence where the stupid birds get stuck in the sail. "Minemineminemineminemineminemineminemine!" indeed.
    • Special CMOF points to Disney for putting animatronic seagulls outside the Living Seas exhibit at Epcot when they integrated Finding Nemo into it.
    • The multi-language reel on the DVD, with the word "Mine" in 10+ different languages in rapid succession, is surprisingly hilarious.
  • The moonfish, especially when they imitate Marlin.
    "Blah-blah-blah, me-me-blah, blah-blah-blah-blah, me-me-me!"
  • Peach quickly saying, "Wewantyouinourclubkid."note 
  • The root canal scene. A patient is getting a root canal, and Gurgle and Bloat argue about what tool the dentist is using, causing Bloat to puff up.
  • The "Exit Buddy" scene which has Squirt trying to explain safety procedures to Marlin and Dory.
    Squirt: Good afternoon, we're gonna have a great jump today! (Cut to Marlin and Dory's blank faces) Okay! First crank a hard cutback as you hit the wall! There's a screaming bottom curve, so watch out! Remember: rip it, roll it, and punch it!
    Marlin: It's like he's trying to speak to me, I know it! Look, you're really cute, but I don't know what you're saying!
    • Crush tells them to find their exit buddy. Dory promptly reaches to the side and grabs Marlin hard enough to make his eyes pop out a bit, without either of them saying a word or looking away from Crush.
  • The post-end tag scene where the fish tank crew actually pull off Gil's insane escape plan, even managing to roll all their bags across the busy highway and land safely in the water. They all start cheering... then realize they're still stuck in plastic bags. Oops.
    Bloat: (beat) Now what?
    • Peach is the last one to make it across the busy road.
      Peach: That's the shortest red light I've ever seen!
  • The main DVD menu for the 2-disc set has Marlin and Dory talking over it. Dory goes on with her usual scattered train of thought, while Marlin gets more and more irritated the longer you go without picking anything.
    Dory: Being in a film would be so glamorous! Where's my trailer? I need water! Fill my trailer with water!
    Marlin: There are no wrong choices, the only wrong choice is to sit there, like you're doing.
    Dory: Just keep watchin', just keep watchin''...
    Marlin: You don't even have to watch this movie, take the disc and I'll stop talking.
    Dory: ...Just keep watchin', just keep watchin''...
  • It's funny in a slightly heartwarmingly teary-eyed way, but this exchange when Marlin and Nemo have finally been reunited:
    Marlin: Hey, guess what.
    Nemo: What?
    Marlin: Sea turtles? I met one. And he was a hundred and fifty years old.
    Nemo: A hundred and fifty?
    Marlin: Yep.
    Nemo: Because Sandy Plankton said they only live to be a hundred.
    Marlin: [Deeply amused] ... Sandy Plankton? You think I would cross the entire ocean and not know as much as Sandy Plankton?! He was a hundred and fifty, not a hundred! {Begins tickling Nemo] Who is this Sandy Plankton who knows everything anyway?
  • Marlin choking out a pelican that tried to eat him and Dory.
  • It takes place at a very tense moment, as the fish are on dry land surrounded by greedy seagulls, but one can't help but chuckle at how Nigel the Pelican, who is genuinely trying to help Marlin and Dory, picks the exact one thing to say that is least likely to inspire their confidence and trust:
    Nigel: Hop inside my mouth if you want to live. [Opens mouth wide]
  • "So they go into the dahk, it's like wicked dahk down there..." (a crab says this when talking about Marlin's adventure).
  • During the escape scene, there's a brief scene cut to what all the commotion looks like from the waiting room. The look on the kid's face is simply priceless.
  • In 2016, Disney released a short video, "Finding Nemo as Told By Emoji", re-telling the story of Finding Nemo entirely in animated emojis, with no dialogue. Some gems:
    • The fish kids deciding to "touch the butt" is represented by a finger poking a peach.
    • Marlin and Nemo's argument consists entirely of thumbs down emojis.
    • When the diver gets Nemo, Marlin's response is a worried expression and a speech bubble with the sushi emoji.
    • Dory and Marlin's first conversation:
      Dory: (waving hand emoji)
      Marlin: (mask emoji)
      Dory: (waving hand emoji)
      Marlin: (irritated expression, mask emoji, "!")
  • The "sponge beds" scene.
    Marlin: I'd feel better if you played over on the sponge beds.
    (Three purple fish along with two other fish are seen bouncing on sponge beds. A purple fish falls off, then its mother and a nearby fish gasp.)
    Young Purple Fish: WAAAAH-HAH!
    Marlin: (as Nemo glares at him) That's where I'd play.
  • Marlin and his inability to properly tell the only joke he knows.
    • The first time.
      There's this mollusk, see. And he walks up to a sea cucumber. Well, actually, he doesn't walk up, he swims up, well actually the mollusk isn't moving. He's in one place. And then the sea cucumber? I'm mixed up. There's a mollusk and a sea cucumber. None of them were walking, so forget that I said...
  • The intro clip for the Visual Commentary on the ordinal DVD where Andrew Stanton, Lee Unkrich and Bob Peterson describe the unique DVD Commentary is quite hilarious in it's own way.
    Andrew Stanton: Hello, and welcome to the Audio/Visual Commentary for Finding Nemo. I'm Andrew Stanton, the director of the film.
    Lee Unkrich: I'm Lee Unkrich, the co-director.
    Bob Peterson: And I'm Bob Peterson, the co-writer.
    Andrew Stanton: You're about to watch the entire film with a very unique commentary, where Lee, Bob and I will not only be talking about the film, but it'll also cut to video clips that show different aspects of how we made the movie.
    Lee Unkrich: Your DVD player will automatically go to these video clips, play them and then jump you right back to the audio commentary.
    Andrew Stanton: If you ever wanna skip over the video segment, just hit the "next" button on your remote. So, now you can sit back, relax and—
    Bob Peterson: Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa! I didn't get my close-up! You and Lee both got a close-up! I want a close-up!
    Andrew Stanton: Alright, fine, you can wrap it up.
    Bob Peterson: (camera is zoomed in so much it shows only his mouth) Thank you. So, sit back, relax and enjoy the Audio/Visual Commentary presentation of Finding Nemo. (Andrew and Lee laugh) What? What?
  • On the commentary, Andrew Stanton (Director) is being mocked for all the voices he did for the movie (Crush, the seagulls, and others). He comments that there was no way that part was going to make it onto the disc (which it did).
    Lee Unkrich: Well, in that case [10 second Cluster Bleep-Bomb]
    • Earlier, he relates his call to Ellen DeGeneres about casting her in the film and how he told her "I'm really gonna be up [*slide whistle*] if you don't come onto the project."

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