Funny / Family Guy: Seasons 19 to 22

Season Nineteen

350. Stewie's First Word

• The episode starts on a Saturday at the Drunken Clam where Quagmire complains about foreign sports fans, especially two incredibly polite Pakistani cricket hooligans.
• Looking in the dumpster in the Goodwill donation center, Quagmire calls dibs on a pair of moving legs and taunts Joe with them.
• The shorebird that led the pilgrims to Boston.
• Peter calls a Magic 8 Ball "the only black ball Kim Kardashian hasn't played with yet."
  • When it explodes after Peter asks if the Fox network can still provide entertainment in this new streaming world, Kim is emotionally devastated like she just felt a disturbance in the Force.
    Kim: A black ball just went to waste...
• After a joke about Peter's middle of the road puppet show, the Griffins set up for the next scene in darkness.
• During service at the Saint Susan Saint James Catholic church, both Stewie and the pastor are trying to stream Mindhunter.
• At work, Peter asks the Magic 8 Ball if he should sniff his co-worker's hair, and it comes up with "Yes." He and the Magic 8 Ball end up in the resource room.
  Peter: He told me to do it!
  Humon Resources Woman: Mr. Griffin, if a Magic 8 Ball asked you to jump off a building, would you do that too?
  Peter: (Beat) ...did it?
  Humon Resources Woman: No, I'm just using that as an example of—
  Peter: (after jumping off the building) I LISTEN TO THE TOY!
• What causes Stewie to swear: It's announced that for Lent, the coffee service isn't serving Chewy Chips Ahoy as he mentioned.
• Stewie tries to get the rest of the family to understand him again while the theme to Curb Your Enthusiasm plays.
• Bonnie uninvites Stewie from a pool party while he talks about bringing veggie burgers.
• All the jokes about the only show Stewie watches, Caillou, throughout act two.
  Caillou: Why am I bald? I'm not a baby, I'm four! Are kids just bald in Canada?
  Narrator: So Caillou decided to look himself up on Wikipedia.
  Lois: God, this is dull.
  Caillou: Maybe I'm supposed to be a cancer survivor, and this show is very inspiring.
  Narrator: But Caillou wasn't a cancer survivor, the show's creators just made a weird choice.
  (Later, after Lois had already fallen asleep from boredom)
  Narrator: Caillou's low testosterone father again indulged Caillou's tantrum, clearly trying to raise a sociopath.
  Caillou's Father: It's okay, Caillou, I'll bake you a pie.
  Narrator: ...he said, his body flooding with estrogen.
  (Later still)
  Caillou: Dad, why are we sitting on the washing machine?
  Cailou's Father: Because in Canada, men have vaginas.
• Lois deliberately waxed the stairs in the hopes that Peter swears. However, all of his cursing is now just Gosh Darn It to Heck! words, because he's spent so much time with Caillou's dad, his overwhelming politeness has rubbed off on him.
  Peter: (to Caillou's father) I feel like you're wearing what Rachel Maddow would wear to a pumpkin patch.
• The emotionally dead Insta Cart delivery guys.
  Guy: Here's your stuff.
  Peter: Thanks, have a good weekend!
  Guy: No.
• Lois realizes she made Stewie swear after accidentally wiping her face with sanitary napkins for carts.
• Peter and Chris want Lois to go to a retreat because she won't check their Internet usage. Cut to the scene being closed in a book of comedic turns.
  Principal Shepherd: Because they want to masturbate, see?
• Peter and Chris repeatedly killing dolphins while jet-skiing.
• The recording of spa music that's mostly rain.
• A yoga instructor asking everyone to meditate while he's in the bathroom is featured in a book of "Wacky Juxtapositions".
  Principal Shepherd: Diarrhea doesn't have meditative sounds. Now let's check in on Peter and the baby.
• Act three ends with Lois trying to get Stewie to say his second word, "mommy", on Instagram.
• In The Stinger, Stewie tells Brian he was joking about trying not to kill Lois anymore in Beatnik slang because the Griffins are becoming Jack Kerouac's insufferable friends. Peter then says it's because they don't know how to end the show anymore.

351. The Talented Mr. Stewie

• The episode starts with Stewie celebrating getting named "Busy Bee" for the second straight week in preschool by opening up a bottle of coconut water he's been saving.
• Stewie learns Rupert was Chris' when he looks at a picture of Chris on a mobility scooter with an oxygen tank.
• The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel cutaway which ends with Stewie onstage with the crew after winning an Emmy.
• Stewie tells about his "divorce" with Rupert to their "child", a Simon game.
• As Stewie returns Rupert to Chris (under his name "Skippy"), he says "knock knock", but Chris thinks someone was there.
  Stewie: Yeah, it's me, I just said "knock, knock".
  Chris: There it is again!
  Stewie: Well, I don't know how to process that, so I'll just keep going.
• Act one ends with Stewie showing off his Sleep Number bed to a stuffed giraffe.
  • At the start of act two, he sent the giraffe home on an Uber. Later on, he notices his rating is now 4.2 because the giraffe puked in the car.
• Stewie tells Brian everyone in the cast of Friends is now at least 60 years old.
  Brian: I knew Courtney Cox was.
• The cutaway about peaches and cream.
• Stewie tells Chris a new teddy bear named Anton was in the touring group of Dear Evan Hansen. When Brian takes him to his room, Stewie admits that Anton is really a male prostitute.
• Stewie accidentally walks into a beach for fat people in Bali.
• Act two ends with Stewie missing out on a taping of Deepak Choprah Winfrey, a talk show host who gives her audience diarrhea.
• At the beachside resort where Stewie plans to kill Chris, he notices the black and white TV still has the white dot from when it was last turned on six years ago.
• Stewie practicing his evil laugh, which sounds like he's revving up a cold lawnmower.
• During the boat murder scene, Stewie keeps referencing Alfred Hitchcock until Chris points out that the scene is actually from The Talented Mr. Ripley, and not a Hitchcock film, much to Stewie's shock.
  Stewie: But isn't it a remake?!
  Chris: Of a french film!
  • Ironically, they're both wrong, the film Chris references, Purple Noon, is an adaptation of the novel The Talented Mr. Ripley, the new movie isn't a remake, just another adaptation.
• Peter wakes up after Stewie knocks Chris unconscious... because he forgot to record Young Sheldon.
• After coming to, Chris says that Jordan Peele sucks. Then there's a scene where he apologizes after getting punched by his copy.
• In The Stinger, Stewie visits Chris in the hospital when we wakes up.
  Dr. Hartman: I think we can get a heart from this kid... Oh, no, he's up.

352. Boys & Squirrels

• The episode starts with Peter showing off a chainsaw he got from a neighbor whose husband shot himself in the face. According to Peter, they got every piece of furniture in their house in a similar way.
  • Cleveland got a bullhorn and annoys Donna with it.
• Lois faxes Bonnie about podcasts. When Bonnie asks about the chainsaw noise, she sends it to Lois' pager.
• Peter trying to cover leftovers with Saran Wrap.
  Peter: There, I can't wait to throw this out in two weeks!
• Peter says he's hollowing out a tree for the Keebler elves so they can have an endless supply of "fresh baked but still stale cookies."
  • After the tree falls and crushes a baby squirrel's parents, Meg asks that they don't touch them as she goes to get her camera.
  Stewie: That girl is one giant red flag.
• Dr. Hartman scares Peter to check his reflexes. He also tries to sell Peter opoids to get a fanny pack, but settles for a trucker hat.
• Tommy Lee Jones' video on chain saw elbow, "the coolest arm injury ever."
  • He also refers to himself as a "celebrity dick".
• After fixing Peter's height, Dr. Hartman asks why Peter's pants haven't changed. Peter says it's because he only gets new pants for Christmas.
• Stewie, Chris, and the baby squirrel get the last picture ever taken at a Sears photo studio for a Christmas card.
• Stewie and Chris argue about what song to use for an Instagram video of the squirrel walking (before Brian mauls him). They settle for "I Love L.A." by Randy Newman.
• Attendants at a memorial service for the squirrel at the start of act three include Herbert and a vet assistant Chris talked about at the start of act two.
• Tall!Peter has been telling girls who think he's the Slender Man to kill themselves for fun.
• Stewie and Chris arguing about as if they were a husband and wife. Stewie also accuses Chris of eating candy like he was drinking.
• Stewie and Chris introducing themselves at couples therapy to their therapist Bruce so he can take a side.
• The Stinger takes place during on Christmas where Stewie finds a plate of fudge from Quagmire (with a note to return the plate), then checks the mail, sees the card, and cries. We then hear the end of "I Love L.A." and Peter getting new pants.

353. Cutaway Land

• The episode begins with Peter being excited about visiting the beach, only to immediatly change his mind when he sees a sign about alcohol not being allowed there.
• Peter reminiscing about him and Lois making out under the boardwalk as teenagers.
  Teen!Peter: When I get back to school, my greaser friends are gonna say "tell me more, tell me more", and I'm gonna say you were a slut.
  • It was also the first time Peter noticed Lois had no left ear.
• Stewie films Brian surfing for a video where you can't tell if the dog likes it or not. Brian hates it.
• Peter watching Big Brother on his phone, with the recap going into various shady controversies happening behind the scenes at the network, including CBS chairman Les Moonves being fired after dozens of allegations of sexual assault, and host Julie Chen getting plastic surgery to look less Asian.
• "I scarfed a bunch of oysters from over there where the foam is super yellow!"
• Lois going to throw away a single candy wrapper in the far-away beach trash, only for the wind to blow it away when she gets there.
• Wreck-It Ralph 3: Ralph Wrecks the Toilet.
• One of Peter and Lois' attempts to make out is interrupted by a happy family dishwashing scene where Stewie's part was an insert shot filmed later.
• The cutaway that transports Peter and Lois into Cutaway Land: an Australian buying a suit for his wedding.
  Tailor: So, what's the special occasion?
  Australian: I'm marrying my catamaran!
  • We end up seeing the wedding at the end of act two.
• Peter and Lois transport into Tom Brady's locker while he's showering.
  Lois: There's a Trump hat in here...
• Peter transports to Charlton Heston's funeral, where he pries a rifle from Heston's corpse.
• Lois transports to a spin class taught by a pair of Swedish legs. Peter ends up being a spin class seat.
  Peter: Oh, no, the one middle-age post-gastric bypass guy! (he sits on Peter) He didn't clean these shorts from last class!
• Brian reports Peter and Lois's disappearance to Joe, who claims to be taking notes, but is really just drawing TIE-fighters.
• Trying to escape to Paris, Peter and Lois find themselves in the old "Robert Loggia at the airport" gag.
• Peter and Lois in a fart air balloon over Santa Fe.
• The Pancake ER, which is shut down because pancakes aren't people and they need it for COVID patients.
• With Peter and Lois gone, Meg and Chris throw a party that only Principal Shepherd shows up for.
• A drunk Meg falling off the table, which gets posted on Instagram and memed.
• Peter transports to a cutaway about an unlocked medicine closet to steal fentanyl.
  • Next door, the "You Have AIDS" song plays and Peter says he now partially regrets it.
• Peter finding a bottle of "Judy Garland Showtime Pills". He takes one and breaks into "Get Happy".
• Lois' wine puns annoy Peter, but she asks a group of moms having soup at Panera Bread think. Cut to a live-action shot of everyone in a bar celebrating.
• Peter and Lois accidentally transport everyone into Cutaway Land. Brian was driving his Prius when it happened and it made a crossing guard overreact when it couldn't stop.
• Lois explains how teleportation in Cutaway Land works to Chris while we see a We Are Experiencing Technical Difficulties card showing Peter angrily adjusting the antenna to an old TV. When Peter has to repeat it, we see another card showing Brian tripping over the cord to a jukebox.
• Peter calls Joe, but he gets his "I Already Missed Your Call Tonight" answering machine message. Peter ends up making Joe create a new message: "Cutaway Joe" to the tune of "Cotton Eye Joe".
• Joe finds the way to get out of Cutaway Land online, saying it's from an autistic 16-year-old fan: They have to get back to the very first cutaway and kill Hitler.
  • The way they get to it is not seen to the viewers, we see a third technical difficulties card featuring Stewie getting electrocuted from a power cord with too many plugs in it.
• Who ends up killing Hitler in the show's first cutaway? Meg, who sliced his head off while everyone else was arguing.
• When the Griffins finally return to the real world, they notice Principal Shepherd has been throwing a party for other principals at their house.
• The Stinger reveals this episode has been All Just a Dream caused by the oysters Peter had at the beach. Lois says they can go home just as soon as she throws away a popsicle wrapper...

354. La Famiglia Guy

• Each act starts with someone reading a newspaper. In act one, Peter reads that Trump hung himself in prison. At the start of act two, Brian read that Mike Pence also hung himself just after coming out. And at the start of act three, Quagmire says Melania hung herself after being deported. These jokes are justified by captions saying they wrote this last February. ^note  For added timing, this episode premiered the day after Joe Biden was declared president-elect.
• All the fake Italian throughout the episode.
• Suzie's christening is officiated by a rabbi because the church ran out of priests due to sex scandals.
• At the christening party, Stewie fights with a boy named Doug who just got a racecar bed because his parents are divorcing.
• Bryan Singer's remake of Casablanca.
  Humphrey Bogart: Here's looking at you, actual kid.
• Joe tells christening party guests to make propositions to an obvious prostitute dressed as Elsa just by making signals.
• "Hey, Portugese waiters dressed as Italians!"
• As a godfather, Peter ignores the obvious affair between Lois and his bodyguard.
• "The rest of this is just jokes, but that's a good point."
• Like Tony Soprano, Peter's office is at a strip club. However, it's a male strip club.
• Peter gave Cleveland the nickname "Downtown Julie Cleveland Brown" and talks about how there were two Julie Browns in the 90s.
• Stewie has been reading Italian children's books such as Horton Hears A Yo and Where The Wild Things Is.
• "I paid a diver to take a dive. (phone rings) What do you mean he won?!"
• Peter thinks he finds a horse's head in bed, but it's really a hobbyhorse Stewie was looking for.
• Act two ends with two rival mobsters arguing over who should have thrown a rock with a note attached.
• Peter decides to use a new identity, Roberta Brown (Cleveland's stepdaughter) because he follows her on Instagram.
• God calling his father.
• At the start of the meeting of all the mob heads in Rhode Island, Peter has Rick Dees' voice.
• The Stinger: After being executed twice with scenes in reference to The Godfather, Brian and Lois take a stroll through the woods. Turns out Lois doesn't watch mobster movies...but she did see Fargo, and tosses him in a woodchipper. Brian, however, reappeared in the next episode, alive and well, without any explanation given.

355. Meg's Wedding

• This episode starts at Adam West High, where Principal Shepherd explains the fall dance theme of climate change by saying they're turning up the thermostat and flooding the gym.
• After Patty decides not to date the janitor, he puts a giant rock in his jumpsuit pockets and drowns in the bucket.
• The Clam is holding a magic night with a way-too-close-up-magician.
• A female Peter turning heads of all the boys who look like him.
• Bruce knew Meg wasn't going to the prom because he overheard it while taking a dump in the bathroom.
• Peter playing "Music Box Dancer" in a Westworld saloon.
• The leader of the Cherry Poppin' Daddies tells fans not to wear wallet chains to their performances after Peter gets his arms chopped off. He also says they're not the band from Swingers, which surprises another member of the band.
• After waking up in the hospital, Dr. Hartman shows Peter a copy of A Farewell To Arms to explain what happened.

  • And his quick disbelief Peter that might have actually read it.

  • He also says Peter's arms will grow back like a Chia Pet.
• Act one ends with Peter and Lois talking about Meg and Bruce in Joe's kitchen because Peter saw Joe have Cheez-its. Which Bonnie hid from Joe by taping to the back of his wheelchair.
• Peter says he's left Brian's poops on Bruce's Astroturf yard.
• At the Quahog YMCA, Peter can only swim in circles while an old man swims past with an investment commercial in his head.
• Lois shows Meg an old film about homosexuals.
• Peter has been using a first aid kit as a briefcase to act like a businessman.
• Meg's full name is revealed to be "Meg Harvey Oswald Griffin" as Bruce's proposal is interrupted by an angry father who ends up comitting suicide by stepping in a janitor's bucket holding a bowling ball.
• Act two ends with Peter trying to pound the table with his tiny arms.
• Meg in the "Black Hole Sun" music video.
• Bruce's last name is revealed to be "Straight".
• As he walks Meg down the aisle, Peter asks her to say hi to a family who came from Colorado for the wedding.
• Meg says she saw pictures in Bruce's computer of men comparing their "size" with Comcast remotes.
  Bruce: I only meet the ones that pass the volume button.
• "This episode feels like something someone would get an award for in 1994."
• Since the church won't recognize gay couples, Bruce and Jeffrey get married in a Walgreens parking lot across the street at the end of act three. Peter marries them because the Kool-Aid man refuses.
• The Stinger is a supercut of Peter doing more things with his tiny hands, such as doing the Macarena, performing ribbon gymnastics, and doing a drum solo, with varying levels of success.

356. Wild Wild West

• In general, pretty much everything about Wild West, which can also be a CMOA.
• This episode starts with Lois going to complain about Quahog needing a new mayor.
  Peter: (notices Stewie) You forgot your baby. Miss?
• Principal Shepherd says he wants to be mayor so he can start pushing women into lakes to test if they're witches, like his Puritan ancestors.
• Peter wants Val Kilmer to be mayor because he's really hoping for another Batman as mayor. He also suggests ALF.
• The librarian's name is revealed to be "Elle Hitler".
• Joe finally got Netflix. He streamed Chinatown and was creeped out by it.
• Peter says that according to Reddit, he's killed 39 people, but he thinks it's too low.
• Wild West straightening Bruce's garden hose.
• Meg gets Wild West to do her voicemail as a truck commercial.
• After Lois wants to do roleplay in bed, Peter suggests Quentin Tarantino and a foot he makes a mess on.
  • Lois actually wants Peter to be a cowboy and turns the lights off. When the lights go back on, he's a rodeo clown.
• Lois called out Wild West's name during sex. Twice. And then one more time while peeing afterwards.
• Morgan Freeman narrating a campaign ad, which ends up with a tangent on his appearance in Ted 2.
• Elle's car has bobbleheads of Garfield and other characters on the dashboard.
• Tom Tucker says that Wild West won 43 votes to 19, meaning that no one cared about the election.
• The Stinger is Wild West leading everyone in a sing-along of "Blue Shadows On The Trail" as various animal characters from throughout the series, such as Ernie the Giant Chicken and Til Death the Brain-Dead Horse join in, the latter even coming back from the dead!
• Wild West, prior to becoming Quahog's mayor, raising a mustache farm.

357. Pawtucket Pat

• The episode starts with Griffins watching a 30 for 30 documentary on the Astros stealing baseball signals by knocking on a trash can. We see a team picture that includes Oscar The Grouch.
• Peter complains that website The Hog's quizzes keep saying he's Barney Rubble, then laughs like him.
• Brian was paid $5 a pun from the Mr. Skin website.
• One of Brian's articles is a ranking of September 11ths from best to worst. The worst was 2014, when Richard Kiel from the James Bond movies died.
• Peter watching Cox Cable on Demand, which is filled with double entendre.
• Horton hearing The Who.
  Horton: It's not singing, it's just screaming!
• The creepy guy running the Quahog Museum.
  Custodian: Bats, take me to them! (a flock of bats appear and carries him away)
• The first three pages of Pawtucket Pat's diary are warnings for his dad not to read it. The fourth page says he kissed his sister.
• Woodward and Berenstain.
  Papa Bear: Follow the honey!
• Tom Tucker interviewed two pigeons on the Pawtucket Pat statue debate.
  Pigeon 1: Coo.
  Pigeon 2: Not coo.
• Lois complains that taking down a statue would make her lose her sense of direction when finding landmarks. She then gets up to go to the kitchen but ends up walking out the front door because someone had moved the living room lamp.
• Peter tells Lois to "stifle", then sits in a chair that Chris said Meg sat in without pants the day before.
• Chris "sunflowered" (replaced himself with a sunflower) Brian. Then Stewie "sunflowered" Brian and Chris returns, saying they only have one sunflower.
• Lois was crowned "Mrs. Groceries 2020".
• Kid Rock shows up, because like any other political event with racial overtones, he has to make an appearance on the wrong side. He gets busted by his father, Adult Rock.
  Adult Rock: Why can't you be more like your brother, "The"?
• After Brian's Prius splits in half and crashes into a tree, it's revealed he only paid for drivers' side airbags because he bought it while dating a girl he didn't like.
• Peter watched all six seasons of Oz with Stewie in a Baby Bjorn.
  Stewie: I'm too young to get pooed on the face!
  Brian: There's really no good age for that.
• Al Pacino's liver spots complaining.
• The Fox News coverage vehicle is the General Lee.
• Lois says the Quahog still has an old Arby's sign, but Peter says it's been gone for 10 years.
• The Native Americans trying to talk about modern day issue facing their people ends up sunflowered by the whole protest.
• Act three ends with Lois driving around the town square sidewalk.
• The Stinger is Peter hoping this episode wins an award for its Democratic slant, then asking if anyone can name a movie with a Republican slant.
  • The creepy custodian from the museum reappears and suggests Fritz Lang's Metropolis.

358. The First No L

• The episode starts with the Griffins watching The Today Show while Matt Lauer looks through the window.
  • Later on, Lois watches CBS This Morning with Charlie Rose looking out the window.
• Peter and Chris know it's Christmastime because the "O" in the Pornhub logo is a wreath.
• Lois is tired of getting clothes that Peter bought on clearance at Marshalls.
  Peter: (holding up a shirt) But you love The Roling Stons!
• Chris spent money intended for the fuel gauge on a Quibi subscription. ^note  Quibi shut down less than two weeks before the episode debuted.
• Peter fixing Christmas, which turns out to be a dream he's having after falling asleep in the car after masturbating to a Madonna song.
  Peter: By the way, tonight's date night is cancelled due to lack of interest.
• Act one ends with Quagmire showing up because he thinks Lois is divorcing Peter. Then Mort shows up because he thinks Lois is suing the city over Christmas decorations. Then Stella shows up because they think they're doing deaf jokes. Finally, the Greased Up Deaf Guy shows up and Stella tries to tell him they're not doing deaf jokes.
  Peter: I think we... I think- I think we are doing deaf jokes at this point.
• As revenge, Chris attempts to delete The Crown from the DVR, but the DVR keeps asking if he wants to, and finally outright tells Chris he can't. After Chris smashes the DVR in a rage, The Crown instead starts playing on the TV.
  Chris: (impressed) I actually kinda love it.
  Peter: Yeah, me too. It's 'cause I'm trash, and I love how fancy it is.
• Peter listening to records while stoned out of his mind on two pills he got after a root canal.
  Stewie: It's been four days.
• The Quahog motel won the Tripadvisor award for "Best In-Room Stationary To Write Your Suicide Note".
• Peter putting up 2020 manger decorations, which includes gender-neutral people and Tig Notaro for some reason.
  • Peter tosses the outside Christmas decorations into the air in frustration, which somehow all end up being placed on the house perfectly. The lights even get plugged in and light up!
  • Quagmire calling Peter and asks him to make the Christmas lights less bright, because he hooked up with a "3", and the extra light in his bedroom isn't doing her any favors appearance-wise.
• "This just in: Husband does what wife usually does comma makes headlines."
• Lois' attempt to ruin Christmas starts with her getting distracted by chores.
• Alone on Christmas, Quagmire tries to talk to his Discover representative.
• Peter got rid of the Ring doorbell camera because he kept pooping on the porch.
• Tony Bennett's Half-Asleep Christmas Spectacular, which features a half-asleep Tony and a half-asleep Willie Nelson trying to duet.
• According to a narrator, Lois' robberies were blamed on a Muslim neighbor who was deported.
• The Stinger is Lois being called out on going to Cabo, so she breaks Meg's diorama and Stewie's fish tank, and flushes Peter's erectile pills down the toilet, while blaming it on two fictional cousins.

359. Fecal Matters

• The episode starts with Tom Tucker apologizing to viewers for sneezing on the camera screen.
• When Chris brings home the flu from school, he prepares to infect the rest of the family when suddenly... Meg somehow slows down time. She then nonchalantly puts on her headphones, runs along the walls, flips Chris's hat over, shoves Peter's finger up his nose, drops a speaker box on Lois's head, and makes Stewie and Brian kick each other in the nuts. She finally returns to her seat eating her meal and resumes time right before Chris completes his sneeze.
  Lois: Damn it, who's secretly an X-Man?!
• Peter drives his car inside an empty Stop 'N' Shop. Before leaving, he Shazams the music playing inside.

("Where Have All The Cowboys Gone?" by Paula Cole).

• Peter also stops at an empty Fenway Park, and keeps miming striking out and getting demoted to minor leagues. So he switches to basketball and misses a foul shot.
• Dr. Hartman brought his dog Sadie to the hospital because he couldn't find a sitter.
• Peter picking the last piece of bread, who's excited to be chosen, but it's being used to squish a spider.
• Stewie tries to get Chris to hear Brian's DNA results.
• "I don't have the Alzheimer's gene, so that's good. And I don't have the Alzheimer's gene, so that's good."
• Act one ends with Stewie telling Brian he's part black, but Stewie was testing him and Brian failed.
• At breakfast on his first day at work, Peter calls Meg "Mug".
• Brian scratches Meg's leg, thinking it's a scratching post.
  Meg: Don't stop!
• Peter witnessing a surgery and heckling it.
• Quagmire is one of Peter's patients. As Quagmire explains what happens, Peter texts it.
• Peter saves a patient with a heart attack by playing "Everybody Dance Now" with the defibrillators.
• Act two ends with Peter noticing a dying Ernie the Giant Chicken, so he closes the privacy curtains to let out a fart.
• Dr. Hartman Footloose-dancing out his frustrations.
• Chris gets caught playing footsie with Lois under the dinner table.
• Peter celebrates Ernie dying by opening champagne bottles, but the corks keep hitting the kids in the eye.
  • Adding to the hilarity are Brian's reactions every time the corks hit the kids in the eye.
• Peter says that Ernie gave him a coupon in "what online idiots say is our best season".
• Brian listening Morgan Freeman read "Garfield Tips The Scales".
• Peter realizes he should help Ernie after remembering John Candy say "I haven't been home in years".
• "Time of death: Bob."
• As he watches Peter revive Ernie, Dr. Hartman thinks of a good idea: "Fight Club, but with hospital people."
• The Stinger is Peter turning the porch light on to see if Ernie's there. He is, and Peter walks away.

360. Boy's Best Friend

• This episode starts with the Griffins at a shoe store, where Chris thinks shoe measurers have robot feet.
• A couple trying to order something at the Cheesecake Factory, but they couldn't find anything amongst 110 pages in the menu.
• Joe's uncle died and left him assorted 50s diner items like Coke signs from the 80s and a jukebox filled with 50s-style songs about pedophilia.
• As the gang pretends driving in Joe's Corvette, Cleveland imagines a billboard promoting Malcolm in the Middle.
• Peter pretending to be impressed by Quagmire's new grill.
• Brian takes a dump on his date Holly's front yard, then pretends to pick it up to please someone passing by.
• Meg ends act one in German because she hosts the show's reruns there.
• Brian takes Holly to a Waffle House and showing a collection of deer racks for a date.
  Caption: Family Guy also airs in the South.
• Peter distracts Joe for a joyride by giving him a half-hour phone survey.
• After Herbert notices Brian with Kyle, he calls animal control for an emergency neutering.
• Peter crashes the Corvette into a pile of trash cans, running over Oscar the Grouch.
  Oscar: Tell my ex-wife... to go fuck herself.
  Peter: Very on-brand, right up to the end.
• Stewie commenting on Holly breaking up with Brian.
• Act two with Chris jumping onto Holly's windshield, demanding that she touch his feet.
• "'There are other fish in the sea' is what is usually said at a time like this."
• Stewie doesn't believe Brian when he says Candy Land isn't a game of skill.
• Joe getting sad when Psych was cancelled.
• Act three ends with Brian babysitting Kyle. Morgan Freeman narrates that Brian made bread and butter for Kyle and kept the pizza money Holly left.
• The Stinger is three German men watching the show in-between filming a porn.
  Meg: Good nacht von das Disney Corporation!

361. And Then There's Fraud

• This episode starts with Peter being late for dinner because he walked into the wrong house.
• A fly bouncer near a pile of dog poop. He rejects two male flies and lets two females in, with a caption saying that flies know the difference.
• Meg is apparently not allowed to be alone throughout this episode.
• Sign at the Quahog Children's Museum: "Come Stuff A Diaper In Our Garbage"
• Stewie's face after plastic surgery.
  • Stewie says he couldn't afford Jennifer Aniston's plastic surgeon, so he used Kenny Rogers'. Cue a transformation of Kenny's face, set to the Losing Horns from The Price Is Right.
• Chris brought the first baseball they sell to the Boston Red Sox game because he thinks someone will hit a glove near him.
  • At the baseball game itself, they watched a basketball game someone in the next row was watching on the phone.
  Peter: Yeah, I love how no one's ever doin' what they're doin'!
• A duck at the Boston Tea Party, who also wanted to throw bread overboard.
• Act one ends with Peter and Chris being chased by zombie Boston University students (chanting "doy") because Peter wouldn't pay for parking.
  Peter: AHHHH! Boston University students and not Harvard!!
  • In act three, it's revealed Dr. Hartman got his medical license from Boston University and their fight song is just the word "doy" over and over.
• When Peter and Chris drive off to start their business, the latter suddenly has to use the bathroom. They stop by at Joe's house where he scams customers to use his bathroom.
• Sign at the memorabilia convention: "Please Don't Feed John Daly"
• Act two ends with the entire opening to The Hudson Brothers Razzle Dazzle Show. Which ages Peter and Quagmire.
• Quagmire thinks he bought Captain Sullenberger's hat, but it's really a cap of Skipper from Gilligan's Island from Peter's Halloween costume. When Peter finds out, he tries to hit Chris with an imaginary hat, but says it doesn't work.
• Peter and Chris fat guy hustling at the airport because you can't run after 9/11.
• The Stinger reveals that Meg escaped by cutting off her foot with her ankle bracelet still attached. We see her running from the authorities in the forest where she passes by two beavers telling her she needs a "creek buddy".

362. PeTerminator

• The episode starts with a janitor outside the Clam breaking his broom in frustration after the wind sweeps away his hard work.
  Broom: Hey! What did I do?
• Upon arriving naked through the time portal, Terminator!Peter has a censor bar over his crotch (which is even funnier if you remember that Peter is shown naked from the front all the time, but his gut covers everything).
  Terminator!Peter: This isn't Big Mouth, you're not gonna see it!
• Terminator!Peter asks for Joe's gun, but he's been downgraded to a water pistol. So he gets Cleveland's instead.
  Cleveland: You were right Joe, we do all carry one. I have mine in case anyone tries Making America Great Again.
• After Terminator!Peter gets Peter's clothes after he throws them away, the former encounters Ernie the Giant Chicken... and promptly blows Ernie's head to smithereens and steals his jacket and motorcycle. And not even that kills him for good!
• After Lois tells Stewie to not throw his vegetables, Chris says that "throw" is in quotes.
• Peter and Terminator!Peter singing "Here Comes The Hotstepper" at a karaoke bar. It's followed by Herbert singing "Sweet Child Of Mine" and dedicating it to one of Stewie's classmates.
• Act one ends with Terminator!Peter watching a Tilda Swinton movie with the vacuum cleaner.
• Throughout acts two and three, the real Peter is trying to touch a tree branch he can't reach.
• As Stewie and Brian pack up to escape, Stewie reveals that Brian was getting an Instapot ("for soups and whatnot") for Christmas. As they ride, Stewie asks if Brian's okay with a Belgian waffle maker. When Brian just shrugs and says he's not that much into breakfast food, Stewie gets annoyed.
  Stewie: Fine Brian, let's just sit around the Christmas tree and exchange checks!
• Terminator!Peter reforms from the fire, roasts a marshmallow and eats it, all while providing his own music.
• At a hotel, Stewie pushed twin beds together, claiming that it's a hotel rule. Then a maid shows up with a romantic dessert and candles on a cart.
• Because the animators need a break, Stewie has to narrate details of what's going off-camera.
• Act two ends with Brian getting a call from someone named "Stewie I Like", who he insists it's his ukulele teacher and it's pronounced Stewie "ill-leak-ay".
• Brian shuts down Terminator!Peter by saying "get off the couch", the worst thing you can say to anyone.
• Stewie and Brian travel to 2060 using a portal gun Stewie borrowed from Rick and Morty because they've borrowed a lot from them.
• Stewie and 2060!Stewie trying to take an Instagram selfie while Brian and 2060!Brian realize they can catch each other's tail.
  • The selfie ends up becoming why the Terminators are attacking: Brian commented "When Sally Met Sally" on it.
• Peter getting into cosmetology school by telling the receptionist he's a drug addict with a child. He also refers to combs as "tiny head rakes".
  Peter: I have so much to learn!
• Terminator!Peter chops his head off but the head doesn't regenerate into a clone because the artists were tired of drawing the liquid metal one.
• Amongst the Terminator version of characters appearing to attack (including the Live Studio Ostrich and Consuela) is a random stranger who thinks he's at a family reunion.
• Act three ends with Stewie posting a selfie of him and Brian kissing captioned "HE INSISTED!" that Chris comments "When Sally Met Hairy" on.
  Stewie: Aw, he got both of us.
• The Stinger is Peter finally managing touch the branch and meeting a female lookalike of himself, which is then revealed to be in a book called "Silly Tales From The Sidewalk".
  Peter: Good night.
  Female!Peter: From all of us.

363. The Marrying Kind

• This episode starts with everyone breaking into the theme to The Muppet Show at the Drunken Clam except for Joe, who doesn't recognize the reference.
  • The song gets a Call-Back later while Peter has an Imagine Spot about hotel breakfasts and starts humming the theme again, then wonders how it got stuck in his head. Turns out it was playing while he, Joe, Cleveland, and Quagmire were being "Inception-ed".
• Mort introduces the gang to his fiancée Rachel and says they booked a wedding at a website for cancelled bar mitzvahs.
• Helen Keller's tailor, who just fits her in a barrel.
  Tailor: ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS, PLEASE, BLIND AND DEAF LADY!
• Mort and Rachel wrote their own vows, which is all stereotypical Jewish stuff.
  Mort: Rachel, today we merge our lives, our hearts, and our fraudulent home businesses!
  Rachel: Mort, I promise to fill our home with the smell of the worst wine in the world!
  Rabbi: Mort, do you vow to take Rachel in sickness and in sickness? And Rachel, do you take Mort in bad times and bad?
• Act one ends with Stewie getting his bride Zlata delivered in a box, along with her sister, whom she ate part of because they always send two in case one dies.
  • What's more, the box is packed in foam peanuts and had no airholes.
• Peter says adjusting to just one breakfast after a hotel breakfast is like astronauts adapting coming back from space.
• At one hotel breakfast, Peter and Chris pass themselves as Swedish half-brothers. A hit man kills two Finnish half-brothers at that breakfast and Peter says it's why they went for Sweden.
• After getting married, Stewie works at an Enterprise Rent-A-Car and has to clean up vomit in returned cars because the usual employee, Levi, keeps not showing up.
• According to Peter, the best hotel breakfast is at "The Suites At The Point. At The Quahog. At The Harbor. At The Promenade. At the goofy squirrel." The last part isn't really on the sign, there's a goofy looking squirrel nearby.
• Peter crashing Bryan Singer's birthday party.
• Act two ends with Stewie discovering Brian and Zlata in bed, then getting into an argument over the phone with Levi.
  Stewie: I'm not gonna write him up. He's the only one strong enough to change the water jugs.
• As Stewie runs outside to smash Brian's Prius, a drunk on wine Lois notices.
• The end of the subplot: Chris was arrested for crashing hotel breakfasts and letting Peter get away and sentenced to 12 years in prison, but Peter killed a few prison guards for disguise so they can still have breakfast together.
• "Macaroni Grill: Come arrange your cuckolding agreements here."
• In The Stinger, Stewie tries to quit his job after Zlata leaves him, but changes his mind when his co-workers surprise him with news he's the new assistant manager. He also boxed up all her panties because she'd just kick them into a corner.

364. Customer of the Week

• This episode starts with Lois and her Alexa talking about Mario Lopez's face. We then see her morning routine which includes:
  • Peter in his underwear telling her his shoes are on the roof.
  • Dressing up Stewie while he's mesmerized listening to a version of "The Wheels On The Bus" on TV about the bus driver hitting a dog because he was checking the phone. When Lois finishes and walks off, he quickly undoes her work without taking his eyes off the TV.
  • Freeing Chris who stuck his foot in the toilet because "Big Toilet" said it would fit.
  • Giving Brian a proctology exam while listening to a podcast about it. When she finds the sweet spot, he sings "Black Betty".
• Lois donates a cup of coffee to a soldier overseas who was defusing a bomb. The bomb blows him up when he gets hit with the coffee.
• While Lois is dramatically examining the customer of the week board, the guy behind her asks if she's in line for the bathroom.
  Lois: No.
  Customer: Oh... then MOVE! (runs past Lois and struggles to open the door) GIMME THE KEY!
• When Peter asks how everybody's day was, Chris says he made the football team... vomit because he put cleaner in their Gatorade.
• Peter with Rod Stewart's hair.
• Act one ends with Lois posting a message that was in the coffee shop bathroom on Facebook.
  Joe: Hey, Bon! Wednesday Wisdom's live!
  Bonnie: Is it good?
  Joe: No... it's great!
• Lois and Stewie have this hilariously one-sided dialogue in the car.
  Lois: You know what I think the problem is, Stewie? I need to show them that I deserve to be Customer of the Week.
  Stewie: (not even looking up from his coloring book) You don't.
  Lois: Well, they probably see a woman like me and think, "She's got it all."
  Stewie: They don't.
  Lois: I know it’s a silly little award, but I don't ask for much.
  Stewie: You do.
  Lois: And this is the one place, the one place that makes me feel happy.
  Stewie: You aren't.
  Lois: I don’t understand what I'm doing wrong. I-I feel like I really vibe with everyone there.
  Stewie: You don't.
  Lois: I'm one of their best customers. You know, if I stopped showing up, they'd probably wonder where I went.
  Stewie: They wouldn't.
  Lois: Because I'm a nice person.
  Stewie: You're not.
  Lois: I tip in cash.
  Stewie: So?
  Lois: And I can't think of one reason why they wouldn't pick me.
  Stewie: I can.
  Lois: Oh, thanks for listening, Stewie.
  Stewie: I had no choice.
• Lois's own Gregor "The Mountain" Clegane, who kills a woman in line at the butcher just because she rudely cut in front of her.
• Before Lois not winning customer of the week again, Peter says that no one noticed he was drinking.
• At dinner, everyone but Lois argues about who the best Spider-Man was. Hilariously, Brian somehow segued into arguing about a completely different superhero without anyone noticing.
  Peter: There’d be no superhero movies without Tobey Maguire.
  Chris: No way! Garfield never got a chance.
  Brian: Is Affleck the best Batman? No, but he had the best Batman body.
  Meg: He'll be the first ex-Spider-Man to win an Oscar.
  Stewie: Just 'cause it's in animation, people think it's not legit.
• Meg asks if the plot is because they're giving Seth MacFarlane's voice a rest this week. Peter, Brian, and Stewie nod. Then everyone Seth voices enters and nods in agreement. Finally, the Kool-Aid man smashes through a wall... and nods as well.
• Mr. Peanut denies that Planters isn't the official peanut to poison people with allergies because of how he looks.
• Lois trying to "exit, stage left" after Saying Too Much about her victim, then runs into a pediatric oncology room.
  Lois: That was a very sad door to run in to.
• After holding Kyle H's two roommates hostage, Lois argues about one of them being gay.
• Peter hasn't been to the shed since he managed to steal a wheelbarrow from earwigs. But then one earwig crawled into his ear and took over his mind.
• Before arresting Lois at the end of act three, Peter asks Joe what the difference between Chinese and Japanese people are.
• The Stinger takes place six months later, where Lois, released from prison, tries to become customer of the week in a different coffee shop by ordering a large cold brew and leaving a five-dollar tip.

365. Who's Brian Now?

• This episode starts with Peter going for a hair cut with his usual barber Jerry, but he passed away. Coroners move a dead body out of the salon, but it wasn't Jerry.
• Chris auditioning for Stanley Kubrick by acting out a scene from Air Bud: Golden Reciever.
• Peter wears a fishing hat to breakfast to hide his new, long hair. Lois remarks he looks like he should be riding a moped in Thailand.
  • Peter pulls off his hat, revealing his long hair. Stewie remarks it's somehow both wet and dry at the same time.
  • While waving his long hair around, Peter dislodges several things from his hair, including a rat, a hot dog and a steam iron.
  • "You look like if Shelley Duvall ate Shelley Duvall."
  • Since he now has long, stringy hair, Peter decides to drive 90 miles to bid on abandoned storage units. The unit he bids on happens to contain the band Sugar Ray.
  Mark Mcgrath: Every morning there's old guys bidding on my bandmates four gross beds...
• Peter manages to get out of a haircut while the hairdresser and Lois talk behind his back by drawing a rocket with a crayon and blasting off. Cut to three weeks later with an emaciated Peter drifting through space.
  Peter: I didn't draw any food or supplies. (sees a floating stylized S symbol) I drew that.
• Since he's drunk in the woods, Brian watches Alex Jones videos with the volume turned up.
  Jones: My supplements don't have lead in them! If your magnet bracelet won't come off, it's probably something you did!
• When Brian wakes up in the pound at the end of act one, an employee freaks out when he hears Brian talk and says they'll do something to prove he wasn't crazy.
• Lois said Chris was stolen about a Dutch family with Chris nearby.
  Lois: (in Dutch) We'll talk about it later.
  Chris: (in Dutch) How come I understand what everyone's saying?!
• Mr. Henderson is an author. He says he wrote one more book than James Patterson.
• Stewie walking to an Imagine Spot of himself tanning.
• Chris and Meg buy tickets to Fyre Fest Two, which takes place on the moon and features the late Brittany Murphy.
• Act two ends with Stewie watching Brian leave while "Every Time You Go Away" by Paul Young plays.
  Chris: Hey, Stewie, was there a men's department in the record store?
  Stewie: Shut up!
• Since Brian left, Peter announces the Griffins can family throw gross things in the bathroom trash can again.
• Stewie tries comedic banter with Chris, but Chris ends up flinging Stewie around because it's actually an SNL skit.
• "And Oscar Wilde: Famous gaybo."
• Brian agrees to eat dog food from Robert Loggia.
• At the end of act three, Peter is put on trail for breaking into the Hendersons' house and kicking them while saying "Road House callback", but he's found not guilty because the jury's all Patrick Swayze.
• The Stinger takes place at the Dutch house where Chris used to live.
  Announcer: Familiemaan!: Dutch TV is probably not that great, we assume.

366. Young Parent Trap

• Sign at Quahog Preschool: "Come see where your kids get sick"
• Stewie is called "Poopy Thumb" by Doug from an incident. According to Stewie, it was actually brown mustard.
• Richard Marx in live action revealing that Peter called his clay horse crappy.
• Act one ends with Peter and Lois renting a millennial apartment after he learns a toilet is shaped like a Hungry Hungry Hippo.
• Lois explains the food in the freezer, but all Chris hears her say is "Not Pizza".
  • Meg eats what she thinks is two containers worth of calamari, but one is Lois' placenta. Brian enters and eats a bowl of pudding that Chris had sex with but didn't finish.
• Lois celebrating that Peter and her are finally going to vape.
  Peter: It's causing deaths, but not that many yet!
• Stewie says he's never had parakeet, "but it looks really yummy in the cartoons."
• The "Peter injures his knee" bit returns, but performed by an African man wearing pants like Peter.
• Chris says he's found Peter and Lois because he's a chlorine dealer. He also deals in catamaran dealing and works for an answering service... for a business that Meg is working for.
  • When Chris and Meg move in at the end of act two, Peter spots Chris from the catamaran commercials.
• "I can ask you the same question, and I think I shall."
• Peter says Sunday is the day he dangles his feet with the heavy wives.
• On a bus to the Quachella music festival, Peter is solving a Charles In Charge themed word search.
  Peter: Now where are those two Ds for "Buddy"?
  • When the bus arrives, Peter spots the local gnat and bug population, ready to sting him.
• Fishing out dead corpses in the swimming pool, Stewie keeps getting a leaf in the net.
• Act three ends with Peter taking off his pants in a mirage 7-Eleven bathroom toilet, a Call-Back to earlier, when he says it's where he finds his pants.
• In The Stinger, Chris learns there's a rival in his catamaran dealership business, Neil. So he sneaks into a Ramada Inn and explains it to a group of nurses from Nevada.

367. Meg Goes To College

• This episode starts at the Drunken Clam, where Peter explains "Guillermo's Paradox" because Cleveland's wearing a black shirt that shows his dandruff.
• Peter imagining his golden years, where he's tan, mourning Lois, and now married to a freckle.
• "You think it's hard to stay zero for 20 years?"
• Peter wrote a recommendation for Meg and makes her read it as Big Bird.
• A businessman in a hard hat.
• Act one ends with Meg getting her acceptance letter in the style of "Mail Time" from Blue's Clues.
  • Afterwards, Peter leads everyone in a round of applause and says he still loves his high school girlfriend.
• Meg's dorm room has the pay phone from A Different World, complete with Bill Cosby on the other line.
• With Meg in college, Stewie turned her room into a gym that's larger than her room by taking a Limitless pill and listening to "Old Town Road" on loop.
• After joining a fart house (that's not a spelling error), Peter asks the viewers to guess what the punchline will be.
• Act two ends with Peter and Principal Shepherd sailing.
• The Starbucks cup watching his appearance on Game of Thrones with friends and family.
• Doug says Brian did "this many" sit-ups, holding up his hand. It freaks out Stewie, who says there's no number after that.
• Meg singing "Love Is A Battlefield" in Russian.
• One of Meg's said skills is "getting dunked on by her dad". When Meg finds out about it, Peter does just that.
• Act three ends with Peter saying he's blocked from calling 911. Cut to him reading an e-mail to an operator about why he got kicked out of a Guitar Center.
• The Stinger is Doug trying to curse Stewie as Brian carries him down the stairs, but he falls asleep.
  Stewie: What a baby.

358. Family Cat

• House Hunters: Westeros.
• Cleveland says that home renovation shows are the only thing he watches on planes.
• Lois says she's reading a blank book because that's what they give her when she doesn't have a story.
• The gang's first HGTV show is Kitchen House, where they turn every room of the house into a kitchen. Peter talks to a potential client about it and compares sinks to toilets.
  • Their other HGTV show is Five Front Doors, where they install four more front doors at the Griffins' house because Peter's off his OCD meds and needs a front door to enter for each weekday.
• Act one ends with the Griffins getting Pouncy the cat because she set up a cutaway about a cat at a computer shop complaining about the mouse.
• Peter with a pinky finger on his pinky finger.
• Chris is called "a dumb kid" when he asks for something. He was refused a Zippo lighter because he'll burn things, which is what he wants to do with it.
• "And to whoever wrote 'hot balls' on my forehead while I was sleeping in my car, I will find you."
  • In the bathroom, Principal Shepard changes it to read "Got balls?", but says it's worse.
• After Brian finds out that Pouncy can talk, she says that all cats can talk, but don't wnt to.
• Elle watching a video of Pouncy repeatedly clawing Brian's nose when an Instacart delivery man delivers $170 of ice cream.
  Elle: Promo code: "Lonely".
• Meg knows about Stewie's time machine because his room's next to hers and can hear it through the wall.
  • She also has a microwave in her room because everyone else groans when she enters the kitchen.
• Meg dancing with Pouncy is interrupted by Peter cleaning some cleats.
• As Pouncy lures Meg past Peter at the end of act two, Peter wonders who "Ned" is.
• Meg's farewell message simply reads "Meow", so when Brian finds it, he enters it on Google Translate.
• Brian suiting up like Rambo with cat distracting toys, like a can filled with spare change and a laser pointer.
  • Before leaving to save Meg, he stops to lap a water bowl.
• Quagmire interrupts Meg by quoting a line from Cats that Brian doesn't understand. He ends act three by singing another lyric.
• The Stinger is Brian being forced to lick chunk peanut butter off his nose, forcing him not to watch a Hawaii Five-O recording. He tells Stewie he'll watch it later.

369. Tales Of Former Sports Glory

• This episode starts with Tom Tucker learning that the poet laureate is coming to the studio.
• Before the first story, Joe tries to get everyone else to watch Gilmore Girls instead.
• The Stinger is a clip from the 1988 Crystal Light Aerobic Competition with Joe's head inserted over one of the competitors.

Cleveland's Story

• Young!Cleveland learned to catch in a tobacco field and they played with a glove made of cigars, some of them lit.
• The Cuban national anthem is the theme to I Love Lucy.
• Cleveland signed up for a montage to improve his baseball. He was good towards the end, he stopped and had pie.
• Under Castro's rule, everyone over 18 had to spend two years as a bandleader. Cut to Cleveland singing "Babaloo".
• Cleveland decides to move to America after looking at a clip from the "Life Is A Highway" music video.
• The real reason of the Cuban Missile Crisis is that Castro was angry that they named the gayest part of San Francisco after him.
• Cleveland ends his story by saying he still remembers his first game and was shocked because it lasted over four hours.

Quagmire's Story

• "I was born into a tennis family. On my first birthday, my mother gave me a little Head." (as in the tennis racket)
• Quagmire had six brothers without any arms because they sliced them off opening a can of tennis balls.
• Since Quagmire's dad was a WWII veteran, he made Quagmire practice by re-enacting D-Day with tennis ball launchers.
• Quagmire's rival brought his chef, The Swedish Chef, to their first match. Also, the line judge was Animal.
• Quagmire bouncing a tennis ball forty times before service.
  • When he played at Wimbledon, he does it to "We Will Rock You".
• Quagmire's ultimate goal is a Grand Slam... from Denny's.
  Quagmire: One day. One day, maybe your birthday.
• Quagmire and Tatum O'Seventies hung out at Studio 55, which was next door to Studio 54. They could hear the noise.
• Quagmire ends his story by revealing his first serve at the 2001 U.S. Open hit a plane, causing the 9/11 attacks. His second serve wasn't any better, but we cut to commercial just as he serves...

Peter's Story

• Peter starts his story by simply saying "Rocky."
• Peter calls Philadelphia "America's Northernmost Hillbillies."
• Peter was a knuckle breaker for a flash mob.
• Peter talking to Lois as Adrian about things that already happened.
• Peter's gym was so cheap, he had to mime punching a bag and do the sounds.
• The Wayans Brothers mocking Peter's weight at weigh-ins.
• Peter's opponents are all boxer puns including "I Can't Believe It's Not Butterbean", "George Three Men and A Baby", and the champ, "Marvelous Marvin Mrs. Maisel."
• Since they can't afford music, they use the sound effects from Punch-Out!!
• Peter later changed his inspirational music to "Baby Shark".
• Everyone else believes Peter's story isn't real at the end because Peter said he was killed by drowning in a vat of Philadelphia Cream Cheese and was cremated on an everything bagel.
  Peter: I guess it really was a little bit of heaven.

Season Twenty

370. LASIK Instinct

• The episode starts with Lois dropping Stewie off at preschool.
  Stewie: Oh, look, Kyle's mom is out of rehab.
• After hitting Doug with her car, Lois hopes she hit a dog.
  • Not only is Stewie glad she hit Doug, but he also notices Doug's wearing Elsa underwear.
  Stewie: Oho, today just keeps getting better!
• Radiohead front man Thom Yorke's video on LASIK surgery.
• Lois's LASIK eye surgery was charged on a Discover card. Peter says they'll be getting 1% cash back on it.
  Peter: Which is basically like getting nothing!
• Act one ends with Peter chasing a balloon by inflating himself with helium.
• After Lois goes blind, Peter says they're some of the last people you can make fun of.
• Dr. Hartman says the reason Lois went blind was that it was Take Your Cat To Work Day (a cat played with the laser pointer Dr. Hartman was using).
• Doug's dad left a note for the Griffins when they show up to build Doug a treehouse, telling them that it will only be for Doug for a year, after which their housekeeper will move into it, even though it doesn't have electricity or plumbing.
  Note: She walked here from Guatemala, she'll be fine!
• Doug turns out to be friends with Herbert, causing Chris to act jealous and claim Doug is just a fling for him.
  Chris: I've seen a thousand of you!
• Peter building a Habitat for Sean Hannity.
• After learning about YouTube empowerment videos, Lois thought they went bankrupt. She was thinking about Circuit City.
• Peter sneaks a monkey past Lois and takes it to a Bananarama concert. The monkey doesn't like it.
  Peter: Well, it's not what I thought it was gonna be, either!
• After Lois gets her eyesight back at the end of act two, she begins to think that Peter didn't lose 75 pounds. When Peter hears this, he's claiming to be on a spin bike but is actually eating ice cream in the bathtub.
• Lois says she'll be more popular than a Robert Redford clip. Cue a clip from Jeremiah Johnson.
  Caption: Family Guy writers once spent three weeks trying to make this clip an episode.
• Doug's dead-on Archer imitation.
• Brian gets back at Doug's father by pooping in his shoes. Chris decides to join in.
• The Burbank Tourism spot, which mentions (amongst over things) it has six Jack In The Box restaurants.
  • Even better, another spot appears in The Stinger.
• Act three ends with Lois on a black judge show. The judge is Cleveland.

371. Rock Hard

• This episode takes at a record shop, staffed by employees who hate all the classic albums.
  Peter: Thank you, bearded failures!
  • All the other customers have the face of a stock image white man.
• The Stinger is Peter tricking the gang into portraying The Trashmen so he can perform "Surfing Bird" again.

Jim Morrison

• Peter starts this story by saying that Morrison had the good sense to die before he'd become the guy you'd see performing at the Pechanga Casino and be shocked how badly he aged.
• The first scene is filled with fateful missed Frisbee catches.
• The Running Gag with Jim namedropping iconic Doors songs every time he introduces himself. Except when he runs into Charles Manson, and introduces himself as "Kill Sharon Tate".
• "Look out! Easily manipulated runaway coming through!"
• Jim moves in with his girlfriend and brings trashbags full of bad poetry with him.
• Instead of drugs, Jim is addicted to strawberry Quik.
• Marquee at the Whiskey-A-Go-Go: "8PM: THE DOORS. DOORS AT 7"
• The Kool-Aid Man getting inspiration while listening to "Break On Through".
• Jim posing for the iconic photo of Jim Morrisson shirtless by sucking in all his bodyfat so he looks skinny.
  Jim: I'm ready to make this college dorm room poster!
• Ray Manzarek (Quagmire) introduces his girlfriend; Yoko Ohyes, whom all of his friends like and prides herself on staying out of everyones way and not messing up a good thing.
• The Doors actually broke up because Jim couldn't find his penis at a Florida club.
  Peter: Like every guy who can't find his penis, Jim moved to Paris to do heroin.
• Peter ends this story by saying that any college student who puts on the movie about The Doors will not get laid because all the girls will leave.

Muddy Drawers

• Muddy's (Jerome) family was so poor, they lived in the Mississippi River and had to share the same mustache.
• The only string on Muddy's guitar is the family belt. When he plays, his pants fall down.
• After signing his soul to the devil (Quagmire), the devil tries to give another soul to a child.
• Muddy toured the what was called "The Boston Of The South" and was driven by an Italian-American named Vinny (Peter), to get used to racist slurs.
  • Then it's revealed that Vinny's actually Elvis Presley after he steals half of Muddy's songs.
• At a whites-only carnival, Vinny demands black rights while riding a Ferris wheel.
• Jerome ends the story by saying that Muddy never got to the stool for his "only pose that everyone will know him by" and that everyone was pissed when Green Book won an Oscar. It's set to a picture of him tripping over a lamp cord.

Elton John

• Joe asks why Stewie is doing the story. Peter asks if his kids are funny.
• Elton's (Stewie) flamboyant father (Peter) whips him with a feather boa.
• Stewie says that Bernie Taupin (Brian) married three times to prove he's not gay.
• During his performance at Dodger Stadium, due to a schedule mix-up, Elton batted fourth in a game and scored the winning run.
• Elton and Bernie climbing up the wrong hill to a party which has enough cocaine "to kill a Belushi".
• The story ends with Elton freaking out over a more recent picture of himself. So they switch to making fun of Sean Hannity again and tells the viewers to go to YouTube for more zingers.
  Elton: THAT'S what I look like?! Who is letting me out of the house like that?! Someone in the future is seriously failing me!
  Bernie: Yeah, you look like a Candyland villain that came to life.
  Elton: I know!!
  Bernie: You look like a Muppet who teaches kids about being gay!

372. Must Love Dogs

• This episode starts on Halloween. Costumes include:
  • Lois as Marge Simpson.
  • Peter as Chris Farley's character Matt Foley from Saturday Night Live. He's not in a costume, he just came back from a meeting.
  Peter: Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go do a dangerous speedball drug and be the least surprising death in Hollywood history.
  • Mayor Wild West as Borat, who West just now learned about, despite the movie being 15 years old.
  • Quagmire (in his pilot uniform) as John Travolta preparing to fly his private plane.
  • Stewie as the Oh My God reaction GIF.
  Stewie: Every one's dressed as GIFs now, right?
  (Cut to Peter as the Jeremiah Johnson scene from two episodes ago)
• Peter playing Cluedo.
  Announcer: Clue: You got someone pregnant nine years ago, so now you have to play it.
• Quagmire takes Peter to a pet store named "What's That Smell?" Peter spends most of the time there preparing to touch an iguana.
• "Come on in, we'll have as many beers it takes to forget how depressing the shelter was."
• Act one ends with Brian agreeing to be Quagmire's dog for six tennis balls.
• Brian hasn't said "bark" in a long time. As a result, he says "brack" throughout the ruse.
• Quagmire tries to pass Brian off as a dog named Harvey (as in Weinstein). Luckily, his date Carrie didn't hear it, so he tries naming Brian "Bob Weinstein".
• As Brian removes a cat tree from Quagmire's house, Quagmire says he doesn't know where his cat is because no cat owner knows where their cats are.
• Brian peeing on the grave of the inventor of the vacuum cleaner while Peter pees on the grave of someone with the last name "Vegetables".
• After Brian makes Quagmire propose at the end of act two, Stewie and Rupert get into a talk about engagement rings.
• Quagmire and Carrie moving dog food like they're preparing for a flood.
  • Carrie has enough rescue dogs to do a slow pan from Airplane! All the dogs have increasingly severe medical issues, such as blindness, all four legs replaced with artificial limbs, one dog who's in a wheelchair, and one dog who's just the back half of a dog.
• The banner for Quagmire's engagement is a Halloween banner with "Engagement" replacing "Halloween".
  • Quagmire's airline buddies arranged it.
• Carrie's dogs ruin the party when they hear him say "walk".
  • When the dogs run out, an old-timey guy in a tree shouts "Stampede!"
• The conclusion of the B-plot with Stewie trying to hide his Halloween candy from Peter with Chris's help, only for Chris to double-cross him like in a heist movie and then cut to both Chris and Peter on a beach surrounded by candy wrappers. Peter now has a pet iguana as well.
• The Stinger is Quagmire's revenge: Getting Brian to look at Seamus' 430 page long screenplay for an Ocean's Eleven prequel.
  • It's followed by Wild West explaining the joke, then telling men in the audience not to be afraid about colonoscopies before riding off into the sunset.

373. 80's Guy

• This episode starts at a Gymboree tumbling class, where Peter is instructed to complain about the cost.
• "It's Doug!" "That's Stewie's rival."
• The B-plot kicks off when Peter gives Chris old VHS tapes of 80s teen movies.
  Chris: What does VHS stand for?
  Peter: That information is lost to the ages.
• Superman in Boston.
• Sign at the preschool: "A Place For Growing Minds And Diarrhea Hands"
• For show and tell, Stewie brought in Peter's seashell that looks like a vagina.
  Peter: I just hope no one puts their ear to it.
• Stewie at the barber shop: When the barber cuts one of Stewie's hair, blood squirts out because that's what babies think happens.
• After learning that Chris was arrested for Say Anything... style stalking, Lois banishes him to a doghouse.
• Act one ends with a kid saying they can get Spider-Man to retrieve the frisbee on the jungle gym. Stewie says it was actually the kid's father.
  Stewie: We could see his hernia through the suit.
• Stewie's ancestor, who was hanged next to Nathan Hale.
• "Family, come here conveniently fast, please!"
• Kenny Loggins says that every time the show plays one of his songs, he gets a hot tub installed on the deck of his house.
• The toughest part of the jungle gym's climb is "Dried Booger Ridge".
• Act two ends with Stewie getting his foot stuck in the jungle gym. So he uses his emergency flair (a feather boa) and gets a plane to release a banner that says "YAAAAAAAS".
  Stewie: I'm still stuck, but now I have confidence.
• Doug phoning for help on an Elmo phone.
• After deciding to give up on the 1980s, Peter switches to the 1920s just because cocaine was legal then.
  Announcer: Cocaine: The winner of the war on drugs.
• Stewie realizes he could have just untied his shoe after his Scandanavian girlfriend in a thought bubble tells her.
• At the end of the act three, The Ghost of John Hughes tells Peter he doesn't know if the pancakes in heaven are as big as in "Uncle Buck" because he wasn't good enough to make it to Heaven.
• The Stinger features Stewie watching the trailer for a movie about this episode.

374. Brief Encounter

• Chris keeps trying to sleep in throughout the episode because his first period is independent study that day.
• The neon sign for Duds & Suds bar/laundromat is the same as The Drunken Clam's, only with a washing machine instead of the clam.
• The key point of the main plot is Peter and Quagmire's underwear. Peter wears Hanes while Quagmire wears a brand for pilots called Planes, "for that unexpected wind shear" (AKA farts).
• Doug shoes Stewie his shoes with laces.
• At the end of act one, Peter (wearing Quagmire's underwear) has sex with Lois twice at breakfast. He tried a third time but couldn't, so they just read.
• "I had the Uber guy sleep outside, so he's ready when you're ready."
• After putting on Peter's underwear at the start of act two, Quagmire goes to the bathroom to read every Garfield book.
  • He also plays "Surfing Bird" as he prepares for take-off.
• Doug preparing to kill Stewie's new stuffed animal is set to an old recording of "Teddy Bear's Picnic".
  Doug: Goodnight Moon? Oh, God, Stewie's so basic.
• Stewie notices Doug has a chalkboard wall. He tries to draw on it, but he can't reach it.
• After learning that Miss Tiggywinkles is Doug's cat, he couldn't bring himself to kill her unless she was in the Cats movie. She wasn't.
• Stewie asks Brian to kill Miss Tiggywinkles in exchange for sniffing three of Lois's sweaty sports bras.
  Brian: (sniffs) She ran fast because Bonnie was watching.
• Joe says he knows what happened because gained the ability to identify underwear when he lost his ability to walk.
• Act two ends with Seamus saying he doesn't wear underwear, just trunks.
  Seamus: Tree guy. That'll hit you on the way home.
• Peter and Quagmire trading their underwear back in the style of returning a military flag.
  • Joe and Cleveland talked about it as if they were teenage girls.
• Quagmire dropped the last roll on the table as an excuse to talk to Peter under the table. So, Peter yanked one of his ears off.
• When Peter and Quagmire reconcile, they rip off their clothes, then decide to move Quagmire's stuff back in their own underwear, socks, and shoes.
• Act three ends with Doug's Doug, a five-year-old named Tyler, mocking Doug. Doug says Tyler's Doug is his drunken stepdad.
• The Stinger is Stewie ending the show with a "To Be Continued" meme by blowing up Brian with a rocket launcher.
  • It's even funnier when you consider the amount of canine abuse that appears in JoJo's Bizarre Adventure.

375. Cootie & The Blowhard

• This episode starts with everyone celebrating Brian's birthday. Brian notices the banner reads "Happy Birthday, Dog!"
  Peter: I spaced out on the banner at the party store. Have a good one, Brent.
  • Joe re-gifted a stick Peter gave him for his wedding while Cleveland re-gifted a birthday card.
• Stewie streaming Uber Driver: Ninja Warrior.
• Peter's roast section of the party, where he makes every joke about Brian having impotency.
• The flashback of Stewie eating Play-Doh.
• Peter notices that Bonnie has Invisalign braces.
• Act one ends with Doug (playing doctor) revealing that Stewie tested positive for cooties and he should get his affairs in order.
  Stewie: But I don't have any affairs! I'm one!
  Doug: Well, you're ready to die.
• The medication Stewie has to take consists of assorted Flintstones vitamins (including 17 Barneys and 18 Wilmas).
• "Meg, go to place." "Do I have to?" "I said GO TO PLACE!"
• Stewie filming his video will, saying he leaves everything to Rupert when he sobers up.
• Lois keeps making Chris masturbate.
  Chris: Jerk! (looks at camera)
  Caption: FOR YOUR EMMY CONSIDERATION
• "The Wheels On The Bus" as an Italian opera.
• When Brian learns Stewie's committing suicide at the end of act two, Stewie says he left his penis enlarger for Brian in the closet. It's actually a prank.
  Sign: HAHA. YOU WANTED IT BECAUSE YOU NEEDED IT.
• Stewie's Instagram picture of him getting vomited on at a Phish concert.
• Brian unintentionally picking up Bernie Sanders until he disappears when someone at Coachella said his name three times.
• Since they can't afford "Don't Cry Out Loud" by Melissa Manchester, Peter sings a song they can afford, "Black Betty".
  • At the end of act three, he stops Stewie from singing "We've Only Just Begun" the same way.
• Brian talks about how nobody knows what the future will hold and gives an all-too-real example.
  Brian: We could be hit with an unprecedented pandemic that the government is slow to recognize, woefully unprepared for, and then mismanages with reckless incompetence.
• The Stinger is Peter holding a press conference about the episode as if it was after a basketball game.

376. Pewterschmidt Manor

• Sign at the Quahog Sports sporting goods store: "Home Of The Shirts Dad Wears To The Airport"
• Peter bought a pitching machine to attach to his car like a tank. He tries to hit Cleveland with a ball, but Cleveland beats him to it.
  Cleveland: I got one too, bitch!
• Peter and Chris getting back at losing "America's Funniest Home Videos" by hitting the winners with a pitching machine.
• Chris reading Dianetics on the toilet.
  Chris: "...but it turns out, the real Dianetics was the friends he made along the way."
• Instead of the Pewterschmidt mansion, Peter wanted to stay at the LEGOLAND hotel.
• Babs isn't here because according to Carter, "the ransom note didn't say".
• Young!Peter's nanny was a radio possessed by the ghost of the house's previous owner.
• Stewie demonstrating the mansion's twelve-second echo. Peter decides to turn the mansion to a hotel by shouting "Great idea, Peter!" before he pitches it.
• Act one ends with Peter talking to the mansion's towels like an Army battalion.
• "All the kids said I'm Mad TV funny and not SNL funny."
• Stewie as Kevin Spacey's matchmaker.
• Carter listening to the podcast Cereal where Sarah Koenig eats a bowl of cereal.
• Brian thinks he may have given Mayor West and Bruce and Jeffrey each other's bags. Both bags have the exact same things.
• Meg and Chris attempting to fold sheets is done as a silent movie entitled "Sheet Happens".
  Caption: Dedicated to our brave men and men fighting in the great conflict in France.
  "Give 'em a wallop, boys!"
• Lois learned that Carter had an affair from her late nanny Meredith from her sister Jacqueline who has frequent temporarily blindness attacks.
  • She's also a flat earther.
• Act two ends with Lois calling the mansion.
  Peter: Peterschmidt Hotel, don't tell Lois.
  Lois: Peter?
  Peter: I'll transfer you.
  Chris: The spa at Peterschmidt Hotel, don't tell mom.
  Lois: Chris?
  Chris: I'll transfer you.
  Meg: Peterschmidt Hotel laundry.
  Lois: Meg?
  Meg: Mom?!
  Lois: Yeah, I'll transfer you.
• "Well, what was I supposed to tell you? How many Viagras and what position? Six and something called The Old Pocketknife."
• The pastor at the funeral tells the mourners he's had sex because he became a priest after divorcing.
  • He reads Paul's letter to the Corinthians (from summer camp).
• After Carter adds a pond to the mansion at the end of act three, he gets a text saying that an old gardener died.
  Carter: I have another story to tell you and spoiler alert, you'll be getting another pond.
• The Stinger is Peter hosting karaoke night at the mansion.

377. The Birthday Bootlegger

• This episode starts with Brian and Chris pitching joke ideas for Peter's office birthday party. After office birthday parties are banned by the brewery's new manager, Scary Black Man Preston Lloyd, Peter starts holding them in secret in an unused office that turns into a Prohibition-era speakeasy by flipping a lever.
• The Sorting Hat complaining that transgendered people aren't people.
• Stewie says he hasn't read books where you feel cloths since COVID.
• Stewie gets freaked out over a TV announcer saying "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang".
• Peter's TED talk on birthdays. No one attends because it's actually a TED 2 talk.
• Bruce blocks the reveal of the elementary school because his food truck for Pineapple Parfaits was in the way.
• Stewie notices Bart Simpson writing "It's a pleasure to work for the Disney Corporation" on the blackboard in detention.
  Stewie: That's a load of... (speaking as Mickey Mouse) truth, a wonderful load of truth.
• New boss Preston cancels office birthday parties and reads December birthdays, including Jesus Christ.
• Joe gets to do a cutaway about nature.
• Peter attempts to play "Birthday" by The Beatles, but it's censored by YouTube.
• Preston hanging things in his office, such as a Big Mouth Billy Bass (with the batteries removed so the singing won't distract him) and a ticket stub from the opening of 'Independence Day''.
  • Peter ends up destroying all of Preston's wall decorations when he celebrates one of the secret birthdays by playing the giant amp from Back to the Future and ends up getting thrown into the wall just like Marty.
• After getting fired at the end of act two, Peter says goodbye to three security guards he never learned the names of and a janitor he was apparently friends with.
• Peter as a Radio City Rockette with too big shoes, which he keeps kicking off and having to get new shoes put on.
• Stewie starts acting like an ex-convict after spending an afternoon in pre-school detention, including treating Chris like a prison bitch. Turns out Stewie was traumatized in detention by an older boy doing the "I got your nose" trick on him.
• Peter goes back to work to clear the browser history on his office computer, but the IT guy already got it.
  IT Guy: Boy, you're really all in on Asa Akira!
  • His co-workers do a version of the "Oh Captain, My Captain!" scene from Dead Poets Society as he walks away.
  Guy: Oh fatman, my fatman!
  • Mr. Lloyd doesn't recognize the reference thanks to his lack of pop culture knowledge, so he rehires Peter.
• The subplot ends with Future!Stewie telling his grandkids about what happened.
• The Stinger is Leslie Uggams telling Peter he was singing "June Is Bustin' Out All Over" wrong.

378. The Fatman Always Rings Twice

• Since it's the 1930s, everyone's smoking and drinking throughout the episode.
• Families listening to Franklin D. Roosevelt on the radio saying the only thing they have to fear is fear itself, bees, and when you can't recognize a man after he shaved his mustache.
  FDR: Also, there's this guy named Hitler we should probably keep an eye on.
• Mac Brookpro (Peter) tells Seamus his wife is cheating on her by showing a picture of a man on a gondola with a tree.
• Hedy Toothgraze (Lois) gets her hat stuck in the doorway. And it's the smallest they have.
• "Do you mind if I don't smoke?"
• Mac shows Cardinal St. Louis (Carter) a picture of him dunking, but the cardinal thinks Mac faked it.
• Red Wiener (Brian) suggests a sideways wipe to a scene, although Mac tried it that morning.
  Mac: Not a good way to make friends on the trolley.
• The password to speakeasy The Sunken Clam is "Bird", as another "Bird Is The Word" joke.
  • At the Sunken Clam, Peter orders whiskey and bitters AKA an Old Fashioned. Or, since it's the 30's, This Period Fashioned.
  • The bartender, Cleveland, tells them two black girls have also gone missing at the same time as Sister Meg. Peter and Brian immediately try to come up with excuses to avoid the subject.
• Mac was kicked off the police station for pooping in the street, even though horses have been doing it for years.
• Mac, Ace Hardware (Joe), and mob informant Carol (Chris) spent most of their time looking up synonyms in the library.
  • According to Carol, it was a masculine name at the time.
• Mac gets ambushed by two mobsters named Bogey (Mort) and Bacaw (Ernie the Giant Chicken). Luckily, they let him off with a warning and only killed his shadow.
  • They ambushed him in Quahog's widest alley, Kirstie Alley.
• Act one ends with Mac getting two terrible phone calls: One that American Dad was renewed for three seasons, followed by one that they found Sister Megan (Meg)'s body.
  • When he discovers the body, Mac thinks she was eaten by a shark.
• At the morgue, the attendant (Dr. Hartman) said he sent DNA samples to the lab.
  Mac: When will we get the results?
  Hartman: About 65 years.
• While flirting with Lois at the club, Peter makes a quip about his ex-wife when Lois mentions The Nutcracker, to a huge laugh from the other patrons.
  Peter: Divorce was new, so I was the first guy to make that joke.
• After his secretary Fanny Patbottom (Stewie) suggests a breakthrough, Mac gives him a raise by lifting him to the ceiling.
  • Fanny is turning 21 the next day, so her parents are throwing her a "Miserable Spinster" party.
• When Mac confronts the Cardinal, he thinks the confessional is a bathroom. He still uses it as a bathroom after learning this.
  Cardinal: Oh my God, how much mutton did you eat?
• When Mac is arrested in the end of act two, they take his thesaurus. Mac immediately claims it's "very, very, very, very important" to him.
• Mac hails a taxi from a driver whose face has been blown off and is still in France.
• The real killer, Fanny/Marion, was born in a halfway house, as in it was halfway finished.
  • His explanation for revenge is loaded with Brick Joke after Brick Joke.
• Act three ends with Ace reading Mac and Hedy's wedding invitations, which took place the day of the Pearl Harbor bombing.
  Ace (reading) "And on Friday, please join us for..." It's a whole weekend?!
• The Stinger is Marion learning he'll be lobotomized and castrated.
  • It's followed by Mac trying to skip a rock.
• As a finishing touch, the 20th Television animation logo is in black and white.

379. Christmas Crime

• Parts of this episode feature a toy called Happy Asking Panda, which is Chinese-made and obviously trying to spy on its' owner's parents.
  • Mayor Wild West tells one his mother's maiden name to light the tree.
• Meg has a tradition at the tree lighting where she passes out hard boiled eggs.
  Peter: Okay, Meg, we get it, you're dark and different.
• Joe believes "Life Is A Highway" is a Christmas song. He argues about it with Quagmire.
• Quagmire tries to get Brian to say one complaint about caroling.
• As he leaves The Drunken Clam, Brian shouts "Screw both Rankin and Bass!"
  Joe: I'm with him on Rankin, but come on, what did Bass do?
• After hitting the nativity scene at the end of act one, Brian wonders why he didn't hit the court-ordered menorah instead.
  Sign Near Menorah: It's here, okay? You made a lot of noise and it's here.
  Mort: Thank you!
• After stashing the remains of the nativity scene in his beat-up Prius, he hides the car in the Spirit Airlines long-term parking lot.
  • On his last Spirit flight, the boarding call told everyone to punch until they're on the plane.
• Tom Tucker interviews Wild West about the robbery and a parking ticket he got.
• "You're the man from TV! I'm the man from the couch."
• Brian as McGruff The Crime Dog's sidekick, using an old PSA from 1983.
• Edgar Chavez is Tom Tucker's holiday replacement anchor. He's in the studio alone and can't lock down the camera.
• After Wild West cancels Christmas, Peter complains that he'll never know what's behind the last door of his M&Ms advent calendar. Inside is an angry M&M, who eventually shoots Peter in the arm.
• Act two ends with Wild West finding Brian's car, then stopping to pick up his Aunt Betty, all on horseback.
  • He got it on texts written on rawhide, most which had "lot" autocorrected to "lit".
• Brian watching the Griffins from the window of his jail cell, where Stewie flashes credit cards to a Happy Asking Panda and Peter plays fetch with Chris.
• Act three ends with Brian attempting to rebuild the nativity scene he broke.
  Wild West: It's like you killed him all over again.
• In The Stinger, the factory where Happy Asking Pandas are made collapses after it's revealed the Griffins only have $17 in assets.
  Peter: Can't rob America if America's broke. Merry Christmas, everyone!

380. Mister Act

• This episode starts on Valentine's Day, where Peter says he didn't sleep in late because alcoholics never sleep.
• As Peter and Lois argue and the kids hear it in the vents, they check the divorce pool (Meg has Valentine's Day).
• Lois in a Tour de Franz bike ride, where she follows Dennis Franz on a bike.
• Chris tries to compare Ripped!Lois to Madonna, but she strangles him and makes him compare her to Julie Bowen.
• Lois get Peter to try the Pedalton after he asks her to name one cool person who rides a bike. She names Kermit the Frog.
• After Peter hurts his balls at the end of act one, Brian gets text messages from other dogs in Quahog, who were the ones that heard it.
• Oliver Platt returns to talk about Peter's condition, "Pedalton Balls", and other ailments suffered by fat man exercising, such as "Push-up Butt", and "Jog Fog" where farts combine with sweat.
  • He also plugs his version of The Three Musketeers because he only does movies whose titles are candy bars.
• The church pastor announces that all hymns are gender neutral and "amen" is now "a-them".
• Stewie getting a wax.
  Stewie: I want you to make it look like Caillou.
• Peter agrees to join the choir if God kills babies for no reason. The pastor agrees, and a list of instances in the Bible where this happens scrolls.
• Peter singing a version of "Tragedy" by The Bee Gees to wake up sleeping audience members.
• "You ever had a sister sit on your head during an entire Notre Dame football game?"
• Stewie accidentally summons a horse with his tongue-clicking.
• When Jesus appears at the end of act two, he says he's not going to help the show win an Emmy and he's not asking God.
• The pastor boys don't think Jesus is real because he's tan and not Paul Bettany pale.
• Brian tries to drink coffee in the living room, but Chris was Facetiming with a foot.
  Chris: Does anyone know how to send athlete's foot spray to Romania?
• Lois managed to ride the Pedalton for three days, which she says is a world record.
• After getting his regular voice back at the end of act three, Peter calls a truce with the altar boys, then asks what anyone's ever did to them. So, one of them whispers why and Peter is surprised.
• The Stinger is a montage of unused exercise equipment, set to a somber version of "Tragedy".
  • It's followed by Lois doing a PSA asking people to think about it, then tripping over a weight.

381. The Lois Quagmire

• The episode starts with Lois getting a letter from her fancy high school. In the envelope is a bunch of doves that Brian tries to chase and a butler who takes the envelope in the trash.
• Lois meets Quagmire at a coffee shop named "Yes, You Can Poop Here".
• Quagmire is reading a copy of Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers someone left on the plane because he reads everything someone leaves on the plane.
  • He learns the same lesson Chris got from Dianetics a few episodes earlier.
  Quagmire: "But the real outliers were the friends we made along the way."
• The luggage Lois brings contains various heavy things like her free weights, a CPAP machine and a bedside table.
  • Lois booked a suite so they can sleep in separate rooms like John Krasinski and Emily Blunt.
  (picture of John and Emily)
  Caption: Sure, they look happy, but there's a darkness there.
• The Griffins eating pizza like it's an 80s commercial.
• After finding Georgie the pizza guy died on the toilet, Peter says that the main concern is that Lois will find out they had pizza.
• Act one ends with Lois sending a mean tweet to Quentin Tarantino.
  Lois' Tweet: You big headed creep, where do you get off?!
  Quentin's Reply: On feet.
  Quentin's Reply To The Above Reply: Toe pics? (three praying emojis)
• John Wayne Bobbitt with his second wife.
• Since Georgie died while still on the job, the family has to finish the job by getting into his car, which means that Stewie gets to bring the iPad.
• One of Lois' classmates is named Scowly Tight-Anus, the granddaughter of two people with the last names Tight and Anus.
  Scowly: We were in a clipping on the Jay Leno program.
• Joe gives Meg (in Georgie's body) a guitar owned by Martin Shkreli.
• The last stop for Georgie: The Griffins's house, because Peter ordered another pizza.
• Act two ends with Lois in the hotel's business center as Principal Shepard prints an airline ticket.
  Principal Shepherd: I'm not staying here. I just don't own a printer.
• Quagmire claims to be Captain Sullenberger.
• In The Stinger, Peter and Lois confess what happened after Lois catches Peter trying to push Georgie's body into the sewer.

382. Lawyer Guy

• This episode starts at dinner where Brian gets Dinty Moore stew. Stewie jokes about the name as practice for a stand-up routine.
• Peter thinks the delivery guy with a hammock is Jabberjaw because it's his biggest dream.
  • The hammock was from a Corona beer commercial because the company had to sell them due to COVID.
• At The Drunken Clam, Peter is too sad to start the conversation, so Joe has to start it.
• Brick Baker's local commercial, which ends half a second too early and is interrupted by the opening to MASH.
• It's revealed that Spooner Street is in Cutlery Estates and crosses with Forker Lane.
• Act one ends with the reveal that Brick is Peter's neighbor. And Peter is the courtroom sketch artist, who drew a Far Side cartoon.
  Cow: I moooooooove to dismiss.
• Peter fantasizing about Muriel in a bikini.
• Peter moves for a five-minute recess and heads to the swing set.
• Stewie got their lobster boat by trading it for opoids to an addict.
• The property lines for Spooner Street are twisted because town surveyor Horace Teeperry was being chased by a bee while drawing it.
  Caption On Horace's Statue: "AHH! I'M ALLERGIC!"
• After saying "Giggity", Quagmire tells the stenographer how to spell it.
• Brian, Stewie, and Seamus doing a Hurricane of Puns involving celebrity names and bodies of water.
• Stewie doing a scene where he curses God during a storm.
  Caption: FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION
  STEWIE GRIFFIN
  "BEST BOAT FREAKOUT"
• Brick gives the gang tickets to see Surfin' Bird: An American Musical, which stars extras from Law & Order
  Sign on Marquee: (YOU CAN LEAVE YOUR PHONES ON FOR THIS ONE)
  • Peter has to sit in the top row near three skeletons in parkas and a New York mook relaying the lyrics.
• Act two ends with Peter getting a phone message from a housewife he has a crush on, who tries to plug her new job as a real estate agent.
• Due a mix-up, cutaways about a detective named Stabby McBackerson and Lee Harvey Oswald working from home are switched.
• Wild West narrating Rupert sinking into the ocean on seahorse back.
  Wild West: Also, did you know the ocean is 40% fish whiz?
• As Stewie tries to get Rupert, Brian tries to remember the name of a star in That Thing You Do!.
• After Peter walks across the bushes to Brick's house, he's turned into Homer Simpson.
• The Stinger is Peter apologizing to Brick... by first practicing at Cleveland's.

383. HBO-No

• The plot of the show: Peter's uncle died, so the Griffins can use his HBO Max password until his credit card is cut off.
• The Stinger is Chris saying that all the shows have 114 more Emmys than them. Cue the Curb Your Enthusiasm theme.

Game Of Thrones

• Peter starts by saying the show ran for eight seasons and was loved for six and a half of them.
• The opening parody features such towns as Normanfell, West Westeros, Mykonos, and Byran Singer's pool.
  • Also, the show is said to be created by George "Railroad" Martin because that's what the Rs stand for.
• Joffrey (Stewie) is fourth in line to the throne behind Jumpem, Fallem, and Splat. They all then plummet to their death.
• Roberta is Daenarys, which surprises Joffrey after she enters because he didn't know there were blacks living in Westeros.
  • She warns that the white walkers are coming because they sent out a white guy.
• The battle is done in the dark, which they blame on the viewers' TV.
• As king, Jon Yellowsnow (Peter) decrees that no one can upload their wedding pictures more than once and saying "My gym trainer kicked my butt this morning" is punishable by death.
• Peter ends the story by asking why people can't stream Real Sex on HBO Max.
  Delivery Man: Flat white for "Hold The Door"?
  Hodor (Principal Shepherd): Hodor? Yeah, that's me.

Succession

• The opening features Meg with 'Til Death the brain-dead horse, a cat falling onto a piano and playing the theme, and a clip from the opening to The Wonder Years.
• Just the fact they keep mentioning the plot throughout.
• The company in question is named "P-Stream Industries".
• The story ends with Peter giving the company to Gwendolin Christine, who thought she was late for the show.

Big Little Lies

• The opening sneaks in the clip of Jean-Claude Van Damme dancing.
• The crime in question: Someone pooped on a staircase at Gwyneth Paltrow Elementary School.
• Quagmire named his kid Boise after the recently gentrified city.
• Peter and Chris talk about whether or not they give anyone a crown at Burger King.
• Peter's house is all glass because it used to be an Apple Store. Migrating birds keep crashing into windows.
• Lois is angry because she has to be the guy who plays with model trains in this story.
• The story ends with the announcement that a law was made making every house in Monterrey have a toilet that doesn't face the ocean.

384. Hard Boiled Meg

• This episode starts with Tom Tucker reporting on the opening of Virtual Reality World by explaining what virtual reality is without using the teleprompter.
  • The gang goes there, but they go to RV World first because Peter switched the letters.
• The Bill Belicheck Christmas Album. And the B-side.
  Bill Belicheck: (in a monotone voice over "The Twelve Days Of Christmas") On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me four million dollars and a player to be named later.
• Quagmire gets the hiccups because he said "giggity" too much.
• Act one ends with a cutaway of Peter and Meg at a Stevie Nicks concert. Peter was more into it than Meg.
• Meg practicing her one-woman band act.
• "Now it says here on your chart, you tried 'Boo'."
• Cleveland tries using a faith healer to get rid of Quagmire's hiccups. Peter decides to wear a giant hat that makes him float when all the other women fan themselves.
• Meg putting on a retainer while driving the car over a train.
  Meg: (in slow motion) I have to wear it or my teeth will shift.
  Seymour: (in slow motion) That's smart, mine have shifted. See?
• The cutaway of Quagmire's funeral, where Peter and Cleveland fold his Hawaiian shirts.
  • The "Who Else But Quagmire?" guy is a mourner, and he says his catchphrase while sobbing.
• Chris tries to burn ants with a magnifying glass, but the ant is only getting a tan.
• Act two ends with Chris learning that Meg is going to commit a crime, which shocks Herbert, which shocks an older man spying on him, which shocks an old turtle spying on him!
• Chris opens Meg's sex toy drawer, which is longer than the dresser.
  Chris: Wow, big sex toy. (to the camera) And big savings. That's Hitachi.
• Peter guarding Jeffrey Epstein.
• After it's revealed that Meg has been fantasizing about Seymour throughout the entire episode (due to the tainted mustard she's been drinking throughout), we find out that all the police chases were her in a car wash.
  • The Stinger then reveals that entire episode was just Seymour at Virtual Reality World experiencing being on the show. He then decides to experience Bob's Burgers.

385. Prescription Heroine

• This episode starts with Chris and Meg skipping breakfast because Chris is stalking a girl who has field hockey practice and Meg is that girl.
• The cutaway of Lois running away with a Target cashier.
  Announcer: Target: Due to lesbian fantasies, we can no longer accept change.
• Lois' Netflix asking if she's alive (or a cat who landed on the remote) after binging three episodes of The Office without Michael Scott.
• Peter hauling the Petercopter for bulk trash day.
• "Anyhorse, that arm looks broken."
• The line to play ping-pong starts at a burning barn.
• After taking Brian's painkillers, she fantasizes she's on Chris Daughtry's head.
• Act one ends with Lois folding the screen, followed by Neil Degrasse Tyson asking if this could happen in real life.
  Neil: Let's spend an hour of Fox's money to find out.
• "Hofstra: Pets need safety schools, too."
• To counter the noise of the ping-pong game, Peter turns on a radio station of a shouting Spanish preacher.
• Cleveland and Donna serve players A&W root beer floats and Old El Paso hard shell tacos, which Joe says is "big name brands".
• Act two ends with Brian tricking Lois into getting into a dog cage.
• Lois tries to get Stewie to open the cage by doing a version of the "Mommy! Mommy!" gag.
  • Stewie instead listens to an audiobook of Times We've Been Naked by all three Helmsworths.
• Lois' nightmare includes being chased by a giant Peter who says he has 42 VHS copies of movies recorded from the TV.
  • It ends with Lois being trapped like Zod at the end of the Superman movie, but she thinks it's a Spider-Man reference.
• The match for the ping-pong table is set to "I Still Believe", which includes a live-action clip from The Lost Boys. At one point, Peter is digitally added in playing the saxophone.
• In The Stinger, Brian frees Lois from the cage, and Lois asks Alexa to play the last 45 seconds of "Crimson and Clover" so she can feel like she's on drugs.

386. All About Alana

• Stewie narrates this episode.
  Stewie: I'm the talking baby from Family Guy. Do you really not know that?
• Alana says that Lois was the only piano teacher who didn't put a hand on her thigh while Chris is doing just that.
• Lois talks about Alana while shouting over a Patriots game Peter's watching.
• "Who are you, the amazing Kreskin?"
• The Griffins having tacos and nachos for dinner makes Joe jealous.
• Alana says the Griffins have a pool that was covered by weeds. Cue Peter cannonballing in the background.
  • Then she says the pool's empty. Cue the clip of Peter cannonballing in the background in reverse.
• Act one ends with Stewie calling this an "All About Eve moment" and giving alternate versions for younger and black viewers.
• Peter in the "Mini-Wheats kid side phase".
  Young!Peter: The shrinking process was incredibly painful!
• Alana and Meg scissoring (as in doing scissor crafts).
  • It's followed by Mayor Wild West saying his neighbor's kid had to explain the joke to him.
• "Alana? What are you doing up so nipples?"
• Lois talks to Brian while playing fetch. Every time she throws the ball, Brian has to run farther, until the end, where the ball lands near the King of the Hill gang!
• Act two ends with the 20th Century Fox logo, but the fanfare is played badly on a melodica.
• Before being flung over a cliff, Lois asks not to have two white women make a podcast about her disappearance.
• The only reason Peter is marrying Alana: Meg asked what they're having for dinner.
• Peter's vows, which he reused from when he married Lois in the late 90s.
  Peter: Dear Lois, whassup?! You're the love of my life, yadda yadda yadda, I'm hungry.
• Act three ends with Joe arresting Alana and sending her in a police car as if they were leaving the altar.
  Joe: This is probably, like, my favorite arrest!
• The Stinger is Alana apologizing to Lois in prison and telling things about prison that makes her want to switch places. Then Stewie reluctantly lets Chris close the episode.
  Chris: I'm Chris Griffin, and I once saw a film called All About Beave and it was nothing like this. Good night, everybody.

387. Girlfriend, Eh?

• This episode starts with Chris coming home from Camp Washington Football Team (formerly Camp Redface and Camp Angry Indian).
  Stewie: Meg's been wearing your clothes. (Meg enters in Chris' clothes, then backs away)
• Richard Gere's gerbil's dad.
• The inside of the walls leads to a Bizarro world where Stewie (and his room) is on fire and Peter reading.
• Lois keeps complaining that Peter keeps wet swim trunks, so he can jump through sprinklers.
• "In the Hungry Hungry Hippos game of marriage, I just ate one of her marbles."
• Joe thinks something's wrong since Peter ordered a Twisted Tea.
• A parody of The Civil War documentary over the argument between "tastes great" (Cleveland) and "less filling" (Quagmire).
• The innuendo-filled talk by Jamie the handyman ends with Lois blasting off into space and a live action shot of a NASA crew cheering.
• Chris says his girlfriend Jennifaire is a model for Tim Horton's commercials.
• Act one ends with Peter having to delay taking Chris to Canada after Lois reminds Peter about a flu shot, prostate exam, and prescription refill.
• A sweater Peter packs talks to the others.
  Announcer: This fall, Pixar presents Sweaters. Pixar: We're not a guaranteed home run anymore.
  • At the end of act three, Peter says they can watch the film as they drive back home.
• Lois and Meg trying to seduce Jamie by showing leg. Lois is wearing a dress and stockings while Meg is dressed as Uncle Sam and on stilts.
• On a road sign: "Canada: Ten Kilometers (Get Used To It)"
• Peter's explanation of sex is shown as an old 40s-style cartoon of flowers roller-skating, set to "Brand New Key".
• Meg asks Lois who was president when she was born. Lois, trying to lie about her age, says "Dwight D. Clinton".
  Dwight D. Clinton: I did not have sexual relations with that woman because I am extremely old and have a windsock penis.
• At the start of act three, Peter gets Chris back in the car by giving him a bottle of Mountain Dew with X Games packaging.
• After Jamie dies (he bounces between power lines on the street, survives, then gets hit by a truck), Stewie notices Jamie's penis is out and awkwardly retreats.
• Canadian sports talk radio.
• Peter made up a Canadian game show and showed it at a high-school assembly. When someone calls him out on a rule, Peter packs up and leaves.
  • The Stinger is Peter answering more questions about the show at his high school reunion.

388. First Blood

• The episode starts at the Griffins' summer block party, where the speaker plays a Pandora ad for Hims erectile dysfunction pills.
• One of the multicultural kids on the Slippery Slide box is a real kid trapped by a witch.
• The only reason Stewie thinks he's having his period: He's been watching too many commercials during The Good Wife.
• An Italian's baptism.
• The montage of Quagmire and his realtor who recently passed away. He was shot by a jealous husband who walked in on him and his wife having sex.
• Joe just found out Axl Rose is 60.
  Peter: How old is Heavy D?
  Cleveland: Dead.
• Cleveland has been throwing mail into the ocean. As a result, a seagull is a freshman at Fordham College.
• Act one ends with the gang agreeing to go to Wild West's dude ranch and arguing with Quagmire over getting wider bike lanes in Quahog.
  Wild West: Hey, whatever this is, wrap it up before y'all show up to the ranch.
  Peter: Yes, sir, and do we need special clothes for ranch dressing?
  Wild West: I'd wrap that up, too.
• Wild West says that the cowboy is used to cover privates when an outhouse collapses all around you, which happens to Peter.
  Peter: Mine's small enough that I don't need the hat.
  Wild West: We're gonna fix that.
• Stewie's various slang terms for menstruation.
  Brian: Yeah, it's getting very close to a Will & Grace now.
• The gang has their horses, cattle, and hats chosen as if it was a high school dance. All these scenes are set to "If You Leave" by OMD.
• Peter eating a cow pie.
• Rupert ignoring Stewie at work.
• Joe counting disabled sheep flipping off farmers because the sheep own the farm due to farmers violating the Americans With Disabilities Act.
• Cleveland tells the plot to a Frasier episode to help Peter fall asleep.
• Act two ends with another episode of Bear Scares.
  Announcer: Bear Scares, Latvia's number one bear prank show! Now available on tapes sold on blankets by African guys in New York City. Bear Scares: Gorgul!
  Announcer 2: Bears sound different in Latvia.
• Everyone pretending to be their dummies as they get attacked by a bear. Except for Cleveland, whose dummy is riding a horse.
• Stewie, believing he's pregnant, planning a gender reveal party.
  Stewie: Okay, would you like to have a cake reveal or burn Napa to the ground?
  • He ends up aborting it by drink a concoction that includes Flintstone vitamins and Dr. Pepper "because his name is medical and a vegetable."
• Peter tried to lure a bear by setting up a tax seminar.
• Joe wonders why most monsters on Scooby-Doo end up being small businessmen in costume.
• In The Stinger, the wives head to a female version of the ranch.
  Lois: Pretty sure the male version of this is better.
  Wild West: I might say the same thing about Ghostbusters.

389. Jersey Bore

• This episode starts at the break room, where Peter talks to the Tasmanian Devil.
• Chris knew Heather was new in town because he's Quahog's number three realtor and wanted to sell her parents their house.
• Joe explains the plot of Cedar Rapids.
  Joe: I memorize Rotten Tomatoes movie descriptions.
• Chris reads the copyright page for the Romeo and Juliet script in a Shakespearean tone.
• Peter says he read the book Jaws because he thought it was the movie.
• Act one ends with Preston telling Peter to stop at every historical marker as they drive to Atlantic City.
• Sign at the hotel the gang is staying at: "Enjoy Our Loud Water Damage Fans"
  Peter: Some hotel. They only had smoking rooms and very smoking rooms.
  • Joe notices that the room has a stack of pre-written suicide notes.
• Preston using Peter's back to project his presentation.
• Chris thinks someone backstage is Meg. Stewie says all the high school theater tech girls look like Meg as we see nine of them.
• Chris only got the part because Principal Shepherd got a Tinder response by Stewie, who's catfishing him.
• Preston's reaction to tasting alcohol, set to "The Men In Me" by Bob Dylan.
• In the school play, Mercutio is being played by a rib-eye steak because Ruth's Chris Steak House is sponsoring it.
• The gang has searched for Preston at every strip club whose name has a "Z" at the end.
• Peter's slideshow of various things he did drunk, such as mooning from a moving car and stealing a security guard's taser.
• Preston didn't really get kidnapped. He spent the morning looking at all the Monopoly railroads.
• Act three ends with Peter and Preston at a boardwalk watching dead bodies float in.
• The Stinger is Chris and Stewie performing the final scene of Romeo and Juliet.

Season Twenty-One

390. Oscars Guy

• Peter says that the In Memoriam tribute will feature a costume designer who will get applause that overflowed from Sean Connery.
• All the movies they do are chosen by spinning a wheel containing Best Picture winners. The first spin lands on The Great Ziegfeld, so Peter moves it to the next space.
• "Two Princes" by Spin Doctors appearing in all three stories.

Silence of the Lambs

• Hannibal (Stewie) is said to be so smart, he can solve the New York Times crossword from Monday-Thursday and a corner or two of the Friday ones.
• Sign at the state mental hospital: "Home of The World's Scariest Art Show"
• Hannibal only wants Mario Lopez to record his outgoing message. When Hannibal hears it, he says he wanted Mario to do it as Slater.
• "I ate his liver with dried up Cheerios and a mashed banana."
• Clarice (Lois) interrupts her dramatic speech with an Academy Award speech.
• Buffalo Bill's (Chris) house has a "Bush/Quayle '92" sign in the front yard.
• Clarice accidentally shoots and kills Buffalo Bill because he was wearing night vision goggles set to "Night At The Roxbury" vision.

American Beauty

• Peter's character's name (actually Lester) is "Whatever Kevin Spacey's character name was in this movie."
  • In his opening narration, he explains he thought they were doing American Pie.
• Carolyn Burnham (Lois) is "RE/MAX's number one crying real estate agent".
• They do the cheerleader fantasy sequence again, but this time Peter gets pelted with rose petals but says he has a seasonal allergy.
• Mr. Furley wonders why this movie won an Oscar because it's basically Austin Powers.
• While high, Ricky (Chris) and Lester discuss whether or not Kramer was a figment of Jerry Seinfeld's imagination.
• "See you at the Oscars. I'll be with my mom. That isn't a big obvious sign of something, right?"

Forrest Gump

• In the opening scene where a feather floats in the breeze, the feather talks to a bag caught in an updraft.
• "My mom always said life is like a box of Good 'n' Plenty: Everyone always dumps it."
• Forrest (Peter) playing movie college football, where tacklers just miss him.
• As Bubba (Cleveland) dies, they discuss business ideas.
• Forrest named his shrimp boat the "S.S. Sudio".
• At the end, Forrest meets his son.
  Stewie: Six hours in make-up. One line.

391. Bend or Blockbuster

• The episode opens with Lois texting the family to help carry the groceries.
  Peter: (from offscreen) DO IT YOURSELF!
• Lois boring everyone by reading the rules to euchre. Peter shoots himself and ends up in hell, where the devil reads the rules. So, he shoots himself back to Lois.
• After Peter suggests watching a movie, Chris says he'd watch a porn movie. Peter says it'll be a family movie, Chris says he could watch MILF porn.
• "When we get there, I'll give you 20 bucks to say 'I hear Magic Mike is good.'"
• At the end of act one, Wild West attempts to hear "Holiday Road", but performer Lyndsey Buckingham said no.
  Wild West: I guess when you're a man named Lyndsey, you rarely get to call the shots.
• A Bruce Springsteen Jeep commercial.
• Peter listening to all gun radio.
• The Griffins have to stop and drive back to Rhode Island because Peter forgot to rewind a copy of Ladyhawke.
• Stewie releasing the car farts (as if they were animals they healed).
• After finding out that Peter owes over $32,000 in late fees for the aforementioned Ladyhawke at the end of act two, Peter runs back to the car and turns off the radio where everyone was listening to "Sweet Caroline" (just before the chorus). The whole family is glaring at him until they stop.
  Stewie: Nothing worse than a case of Neil Diamond blue balls, am I right?
• Before jumping from a cliff, Peter says that we'll see a scene from Rambo. Lois denies it, but the scene plays.
• Chris in his happy place, screaming at children while playing Fortnite.
• Peter rented the movie Sliver. When he tries to play it, it turns out he got season two of Sliders.
• Reminiscing about past episodes, Meg realizes Peter brought in a lot of illegal animals.
• The Griffins are saved by Amazon drones. Peter is so fat, it takes two of them to lift him.
• At the end of act three, upon request to stop spying on them, the drones play "Let It Snow" while the Griffins are carried away angled at their butts.
• In The Stinger, the Griffins head off to the last Circuit City for a VCR adaptor cable, with their Alexa listening.
  Jeff Bezos: Hi, I'm Jeff Bezos and I'm rich and bald. Guess which one matters. Goodnight.

392. A Wife-Changing Experience

• The episode starts at Peter and Lois's anniversary party at the Pewterschmidts. Carter warns everyone that he couldn't change the time the sprinklers go off.
• Carter's anniversary gift for the Griffins is a toy Range Rider. He thought it looked bigger in the Sky Mall catalog.
  Quagmire: That's a rookie move, man!
• Ms. Pac-Man calling Pac-Man out on sexual assault.
• Lois noticing Chris' face is under a chair Bonnie just sat on. Then a sweaty Peter comes in from a wrestling club and sits on it.
• Stewie set his GPS to talk like Reese Witherspoon.
• Sarah McLachlan narrating a PSA to help grips from The Ellen Degeneres Show.
• Lois singing a version of "Turning Japanese" while scraping dog poo off the kids' shoes.
• Act one ends with Lois being applauded at a check-out for giving Joe an erection.
• "Lois! Check it out! I think James Cromwell is on this Little House On The Prairie!"
• After a drunk Brian says that Norwegians can't dance, two viewers in Norway complain about it.
  Announcer: Family Guy: We Googled "Norway" for this joke.
• Quagmire surveying a couple while they have sex.
• At the end of act two, Peter knocks out Joe. Then Joe gets final notice bills for his wheelchair, repo men take the wheelchair away, and two seagulls grab his shoes.
• Brian and Chris trying to get Stewie to purchase Tums and Desenex for them.
• Peter attempts to get back at Lois by looking sexy while chopping wood topless in the front yard, but it fails beause he's fat and unattractive. One one of his swings, the axe comes off the handle and breaks the window. When the insurance guy asks how it happens and Peter tries to deny it just happened, the insurance guy tells him that Cleveland caught what happened on the Nest app, and we see an earlier attempt of Peter chopping wood while dressed as Jessica Rabbit.
• Act three ends with Lois and Peter making out in a police van shouting names of Fox News personalities while Principal Shepherd watches.
• In The Stinger, Peter and Lois have sex as Dr. Seuss characters. Which is then revealed to be Chris reading it as a bedtime story.
  Stewie: Don't read me books that you write.

393. The Munchurian Candidate

• The episode starts with Peter and Lois at a His and Hers restaurant, where the place is separated into male and female halves.
• "Family Guy is brought to you by parent sex. Parent sex: It happens in rooms that you hang out in and watch TV, even right there where you're sitting now! Pretty gross, right?"
  • "Parent sex: When your mom shouts at you through a closed door, that's why."
• Talking to the wives and Elle at The Booth Diner, everyone else calls Lois "Loey".
  • Apparently, their talk has disgusted a six-year-old's birthday party in the next booth.
• As a sex therapist tries to discuss Peter's problem, Peter manages to hide himself behind a wall painting.
• The trigger phrase is the theme to Extra because Peter got a notification on his phone about Chrissy Teigen cyberbullying.
• The Stock Footage of Peter and Lois having sex at the end of act one is a clip of a fat man cannonballing down a slide into a pool.
  • The only thing Peter remembered that night was farting the Pledge of Allegiance.
• Stewie overhearing Brian and Chris mocking his treehouse while shaking packing peanuts off himself.
• Still shocked over Peter unknowingly having sex with Babs at the end of act two, Lois and Peter spend act three driving home in silence, ignoring Babs and Carter's calls. They try turning on the radio, but quickly turn it off because "Eat It" is playing.
• Act three ends with Stewie shooting Brian and Chris with a crossbow (off-camera) after they make fun of him again. Then he sees Meg topless.
  Meg: Mom, Stewie shot himself!
• In The Stinger, Peter and Lois return home and Lois helps Peter vomit into a trash can. Then Meg sits down to watch TV, and guess what she's watching?

394. Unzipped Code

• The episode starts at The Drunken Clam, where Jerome's leg is in a cast because of a lovemaking incident while listening to Teddy Pendergrass, "America's number one cause of urgent lovemaking injuries."
• Joe shouting at an occupied handicap stall. It turns out there was a head inside (just a talking, moving human head).
• During a Zoom meeting, it's revealed that Cleveland's internet is from a decade worth of AOL CDs offering 100 free hours. His screen keeps freezing, so he goes into the other room and asks Donna to unplug everything, only for her to unplug Cleveland's laptop, causing the screen to go black. A minute later, Cleveland tries to get a signal from the roof of his house, but a bird grabs his laptop and flies away.
  Cleveland: Bird! Bird! Bird stole mah laptop!
• Peter getting Joe to pose for the Men of Quahog calendar like a children's photographer by using a puppet frog... who then forces Joe to take his pants off.
• Meg says she's been practicing insults by watching videos of British comedian Les Dawson. Cut to two college students watching the show, one of whom explains the joke to the other.
• After getting fired at the end of act one, Cleveland says it's hard for him to say "goodbye". As he leaves, he tries to say just that to the other co-workers.
• Cleveland's job hunt is going nowhere because the bird from earlier still has his laptop. The same bird then posts a video of himself listening to "Free Bird".
  Bird: Wow, is that a third lead guitar? Let me know in the comments, fellas.
• The only reason Peter invited Cleveland to the brewery is because he made an insensitive joke at work.
• "Just to warn you, I like to chew ice and my computer goes 'bonk' every three seconds."
• After someone has had their foot run over, Peter decided to make all the drivers slap the back of their truck 200 times.
• Act two ends with Peter being put in charge of kitchen banter.
  Peter: Hey, how come you were pregnant for only four months?
  Preston: Griffin!
  Peter: Sorry, it's only my first day.
• "Then I said 'Ain't that the punchline to an anecdote!'"
• The health inspector's ID is a backstage pass from a Muse concert.
• Act three ends with Cleveland's testicle falling off after putting a rubber band on it.
  Cleveland: Here's your rubber band back.
  Postmaster: You can keep it.
• In The Stinger, Peter tries to take a selfie with Cleveland because he made another insensitive joke at work (and has to make Cleveland his profile picture). When Cleveland declines, Peter notices Mort and tries again.

395. Happy Holo-ween

• Sign at the Halloween Carnival: "See your neighbor's daughter dressed as Harley Quinn and go, 'Whoa!'", which is demonstrated with Peter and Roberta.
• Preston's Halloween costume is Paul Shore (a formal Pauly Shore). He's wearing his usual suit and a 90s style hat.
• The House Of Unskippable Podcast Ads attraction. All of it.
• At a meeting of mothers, Lois gets to spin a prize wheel and donates a spin to Bonnie.
• One hologram at the Hall of Holograms is the real Michael Cera with a Tootsie Roll in his ear (pretending it's a Bluetooth).
• Peter manages to get the hologram maker by trading shirts with the maker.
• Peter at a QAnon rally.
• Hologram!Peter tells Lois to keep her "Make 7 Up Yours" shirt and throw away a The Meredith Vieira Show poncho.
• Act one ends with the real Peter trapped behind an eyehole painting. Again.
• A cruise director on the Mayflower.
• Drunk at the Clam, the real Peter asks the gang to throw glitter at him so Lois will think he was at a strip club. He ends up blacking out and waking up on the front lawn.
  Peter: Works every time. And it's good for the environment, maybe.
• The Griffins singing a Halloween carol.
• Chris says he was suspended for camping on his Spanish teacher's front lawn.
• At the end of act two, Wild West narrates Hologram!Peter knocking Peter unconscious while in a coffee shop bathroom because no one told him he would have to narrate earlier.
• Peter drew a picture of Spider-Man and sent it to the FBI.
• Because Hologram!Peter gagged the real Peter while setting up a cutaway, two characters in it (a giraffe and a vampire) are confused about what to do.
• Trying to escape Hologram!Peter, Lois grabs Chris and Stewie, then tells Meg to take out the garbage.
• Peter escaped by grabbing a hacksaw and cutting off his hands, then stitching his hands back on with Twizzlers.
  Lois: Why didn't you saw through the ropes?
  Peter: Hacksaw hindsight is 20/20, Lois.
• The Emperor from Star Wars is watching the final battle.
• To conduct enough static electricity to short circuit Hologram!Peter, Stewie rubs his feet on the carpet while Brian sings "I Got Rhythm". Stewie tells Brian to sing "da da" when he doesn't remember the words, then calls Brian out for forgetting words that are in the title. Not just that but when Stewie does the singing himself, he uses "da da" as well. Brian calls him out for the hypocrisy only for Stewie to retort "at least I got past the title".
• As Hologram!Peter short circuits, he turns from himself to Peter in the earlier seasons, then Larry, then Homer Simpson, and finally Fred Flintstone.
  Fred: Wilma!
• In The Stinger, it turns out Peter made another hologram. So Stewie prepares static electricity again while Brian sings "Camptown Ladies". Stewie calls out Brian for singing "da da" instead of "doo dah".

396. The Stewaway

• Under the pre-school fundraiser banner: "(And Dad's Only Nice Shirt Night)". Peter's shirt has knock-off Looney Tunes characters peeking out of his pocket.
  Bugs Bunny Knock-Off: Eh, how are you, doctor?
• Stewie's obsession with hide-and-seek after a teacher explains the game.
  Stewie: I say, a game covering covert activity, surveillance and counting?!
• The security code for the Griffins' house is 6969, because according to Peter, "if your mother doesn't wanna do it, least she can type it."
• Chris watching a Twitch stream.
  Caption: RIP: Broadcast Television
  CAUSE OF DEATH: THIS
  (oh, and hundred of bad shows)
• Under the "Welcome To Vermont" sign: "Your gay niece goes to college here"
• Lois is desperate to break the street's record for most likes in an Instagram picture.
  Peter's Caption to Lois at a glassblowing class: At least something's betting blown around here. (like counter goes from 21 to 24)
• Brian says he's get a TED talk on the TV, when in reality, he's on Pornhub. Stewie noticed the logo reflecting on his eyes.
• Quagmire finds Stewie hiding in his bag at the end of act one while trying to see if he packed a pair of sunglasses.
  Quagmire: Stewie?
  Stewie: Mr. Quagmire?! (to the co-pilot) Terrance.
• "Peter don't poop on planes."
• After Peter declares Quagmire Stewie's babysitter, Peter texts him a peach and squirting emoji.
• The Paris Attractions Channel with someone who's never been to Paris.
• Stewie and Quagmire jumping on their hotel bed, annoys a French man and a talking French baby that's not his. Which Stewie and Quagmire think were on the plane.
• Quagmire says he lost his virginity at age six to a female plumber.
• Stewie being stalked in the bathroom by the Mona Lisa.
  Stewie: Oh, her expression is gas!
• A French radio DJ.
• After Stewie heads off to find Madeline at the end of act two, Quagmire asks a man if he's seen a boy in a yellow shirt and red overalls.
  Man: You are looking to buy or to rent?
  Quagmire: What? No! God! How is Paris considered a classy city?!
  Man: The buildings are beautiful. The people are trash.
• Quagmire agrees to fly Brian to Paris first class with no male flight attendants and a bowl of Kibbles 'n' Bits that's just bits.
• After falling off a cliff, Peter and Lois discuss the money he claims she lost betting on college lacrosse.
• Stumbling around the Pere Lachaise cemetery, Stewie runs into Jim Morrison's two graves because he was very fat when he died.
  • Brian says he's always wanted to pee on Gerard Depardieu's grave. He's surprised to learn Gerard's still alive.
• Act three ends with a street performer singing the theme song.
• In The Stinger, Peter listens to a lacrosse game while consoling Lois on her broken leg.
  Peter: Lois, you may have rambled about Bet Kings during surgery...

397. Get Stewie

• The episode starts with Tom Tucker apologizing for appearing with white hair and a white mustache.
• Stewie reading the lyrics to "Face Chair", saying it's about an unboxing.
• Chris learns that girls like baseball players, so he wants to throw batteries at them.
• Stewie tricks Brian into going to the MEBR concert by opening a can of dog food in a taxi.
• Peter got lap band surgery because the hospital is giving away a free Nintendo Switch with them.
  • After the surgery, Peter and Lois slow dance like a married couple's first dance while Dr. Hartman sings "At Last".
• Sign at the Quahog Arena: "TONIGHT: MARY ELIZABETH BECCA RYAN CONCERT TMRRW: NO LTTRS LFT"
• Act one ends with Stewie at the coat check where Brian claims his pleather jacket with every NFL team logo on it.
• At the start of act two, Stewie notices a deep fake of him at the Capitol riots. He was there, but didn't invade.
• Stewie singing "Mr. Boombastic" in moderately-priced kitchens.
• Looking at Peter's excess skin, Lois wants to call him "Mr. Skin", but Chris whispers that it's taken.
• After being excluded from the rest of the preschool, Stewie explains socialization while playing with a doctor's waiting room toy where he pushes beads along wire.
• Act two ends with the return of Cocky Jogger after Stewie's Big Wheel explodes, killing Rupert.
  Cocky Jogger: I had an IT bend blow up last year. Still finished the 10K.
• Stewie went to a meditation retreat between acts two and three because he paid for it.
• Realizing Stewie's about to kill MEBR at the Quahog Walk of Fame, he frenzies himself into going for a walk.
• It's revealed that Patty's parents are midgets, which surprised Principal Shepherd.
• Chris says that Benjamin Franklin had two slaves.
  Chris: Where's his musical?
• Mayor Wild West says that they are no longer selling Quahog Walk of Fame handprints to a Chinese factory to make sex dolls.
• At the end of act three, Brian gives Stewie a restitched Rupert (with no short-term memory), then molds his face into a cube.
  Stewie: Next time, let's just use a hat and glasses.
• In The Stinger, Peter learns that Lois is having sex with a robot from Chris, who isn't happy about it.

398. Carny Knowledge

• This episode starts at the Quahog Fall Festival, where Joe tosses his scarf over his shoulder and gets stuck on a Ferris wheel.
• The first Brian noticed about Amber the carny: Her tattoo of the Hormone Monster.
• Peter thinks Chris' favorite singer is "The Price Is Right Yodeler".
• Lois getting fired on her first day at a rice pilaf company.
• Peter knocks on Meg and Stewie's doors before talking to Chris.
• Act one ends with Lois wondering where her underpants are after Peter and Chris talk about how she can't let it go when that happens.
• Chris guessing if one of Stewie's shoes will burn or melt. It ends up igniting sparks.
• Stewie reading Nextdoor posts on Amber's van, which has Insane Clown Posse graffiti on it.
  Stewie: And then some nervous comments on the black Amazon driver, but you get the gist.
• The Griffins watching You Don't Mess With The Zohan, remastered to be 40% louder.
• At Hot and Muggy, Seamus works on a script near Lois, Donna, and Bonnie and listens to a Masterclass by Aaron Sorkin.
• Act two ends with Peter and Chris setting off fireworks that cause them to lose some of their fingers.
• Peter saying he jammed his socks in the drain because he showered in them.
• Lois tries to break up the Peter/Chris bond by giving them essays about Joe and Charles from Charles In Charge.
• "My name is Stewie, and I'm a milkaholic."
• Peter with a Mark Davis haircut. He makes Lois get one at end of act three.
• One of Chris' contacts on his phone is "Pornhub Tech Support".
• Brian doing a Say Anything... with a boombox playing "Palisades Park".
• Peter hangs a piano over the front door not so he can crush Lois with it, but so Lois can't touch it. In The Stinger, it falls and lands on Brian.
• Over the credits, we see shots of Seamus winning an Academy Award and then getting punched by Will Smith, all set to "Come Sail Away" by Styx.

399. The Candidate

• Lassie, played by Vin Diesel.
• Peter managed to sneak out of his house by rolling out in a giant waffle.
• Joe repeatedly breaking into a song about technology, but wondering what the military has. At the end of act one, the military zaps him into dust.
• The song of the boys on the scooter: "Holiday Road", even though Mayor Wild West thought performer Lyndsey Buckingham would let them play it earlier in the season.
• "All those in favor of a giant key ring for our jail cell, say aye."
• Before going off to find the gang on horseback, Mayor West says "he-yah", but quickly changes it to "they-yah".
• Sign under the Mason-Dixon Line: "Now with 10% Less Civil War Statues"
• Stewie talking to Rupert about his sobriety.
• A shoe salesman guessing a customer's shoe size.
• Stewie playing "Paul Simon Says". He gets bored and switches to "Simon Cowell Says".
• Jeffrey Epstein's eulogy.
  Ken Harrelson: HE GONE! (crowd cheering)
• Doug showing footage of Stewie at the Capitol riots.
• Chris shows a sizzle reel for a show that didn't make it on the air called The Hill.
• "And that, my friends, is how I discovered Courtney Cox still bleaches her starfish. Sorry I got off on a tangent there."
• After discovering that Stewie was unintentionally born, a kid who looks like the guy who yells "Phony!" calls Stewie a phony.
  • Who told Doug (as act two ends)? Chris, although the silhouette made it look like it was Meg.
• Peter apparently keeps leaving Stewie on the steps of the fire station.
• How Stewie gets back at his parents: Refusing to put on his shoes. Which backfires he finds out he's going to the Dangly Shiny Keys Show (which is a mime danging keys to the cheering crowd).
• Stewie blasts "Sugar Sugar" by The Archies to annoy Peter. It backfires and turns into a party.
• Chris has apparently sorted his porn collection using "The Spooie Decimal System".
  • He has a shelf of Peter and Lois' sex tapes because he has a camera set to film whenever one of them grunts (some are just Peter in the bathroom).
• Stewie being refused entry to an Eyes Wide Shut party.
• Peter and Lois concieving Stewie started as a Real World audition.
• In The Stinger, it turns out Stewie becomes snack captain because most of the kids have single parents, were mistakes, or, in one case, had no parents and just showed up at the preschool one day.
  Stewie: Oh, and Doug died in a commuter plane crash this morning.

400. Love Story Guy

• The episode starts with Peter saying that Chris broke up with his blind girlfriend, who thought he was Colin Farrell.
• The Stinger is Cleveland trying to get the gang into making Donna believe he told his story.

Quagmire's Story

• "And just like Tom Hanks in Cast Away, I kept on mentioning Federal Express."
• Quagmire trying to fly his plane while drafting two fantasy football leagues at the same time.
• Peter keeps sneaking in snake can gags.
• Trying to build a raft, Quagmire finds three deflated footballs to Tom Brady.
  Caption: This episode was written by a butt-hurt Seahawks fan.
• At the end, Quagmire learns that Helen Hunt got back with Paul Reiser after doing a Mad About You reboot on Spectrum originals, which Quagmire claims no one saw.
  • During the break, Joe and Cleveland searched online and found nothing about the show.

Joe's Story

• Peter interrupts Joe's story by asking if he's Jewish.
• During a private cabin dance party, everyone tries to swat mosquitoes (since it's August near a lake).
• "I like how you always drop me in the one warm spot of this cold lake."
• After finding Dancy has a hanger in her mouth, Joe uses it like a TV antenna.
  News Anchor: President Kennedy said he's excited to how the city of Dallas, quote, "just how white a shirt can be."
• Quagmire trying to get Joe to compare Jennifer to the wind.
• "The show started late because the grandma bragging ran over."
• Jennifer and Joe's final dance is to "She Bop" by Cyndi Lauper because they couldn't afford "(I've Had) The Time Of My Life".
  Joe: Happy 1963, everybody. For our big finale, we're gonna dance to a song written in 1985.

Peter's Story

• Cleveland and Peter try to start their story at the same time.
• Peter went to see When Harry Met Sally... thinking it's a Harry And The Hendersons movie.
• Sign at The Sharper Image: "Home Of The Cocaine-Inspired Purchase"
• Meg Ryan invited Peter into the movie because Billy Crystal was singing a 20 minute parody of the 1988 Academy Award nominees.
• Peter and Stewie looking for a backpack.
  Peter: See something, say nothing. That's the 1990s New York way.
• "Then came the most important film of all time: In The Cut. Because naked!"
• It's revealed that the entire story was All Just a Dream after he "Pee-Wee Hermaned" in the theater and blacked out.

401. Old West

• Everything about Wild West's stepdad, Allen.
• This episode starts with everyone watching Peter remove his mouth guard.
• Peter shows off his inner Al Pacino, which is him screaming "No!"
• Cleveland bought Junior's first bra at Goodwill.
  Cleveland: A bunch of grabby fellas at the mall thought he was (sighs) Lizzo.
• Joe has a podcast. Someone walks up to him to tell him his Hello Fresh promo code doesn't work.
  • At the end of act one, he admits he has no sponsors.
• Ranch hand Caleb talking about Wild West waiting to duel Old West, eating an apple between sentences.
  • Peter uses this to talk to Wild about paper shredders.
• Old West shot Wild in the arm because it's how cowboys show affection.
  Quagmire: The Chris Brown defense. Not great.
• As the gang leaves Wild West's house, the door hits Peter in the butt.
• Wild West was born with a mustache.
• When Old West shoots his gun in the air, it causes an argument on Nextdoor over whether it was gunshots or fireworks.
  Mort's Post: Definitely gunshots. This neighborhood's cowboy problem is out on control. The streets are all scuffed from spurs, there's horse dung all over town, and long underwear on every fence. ENOUGH!
  Bonnie's Post: AMEN.
  Cleveland's Post: Cowboys were part of the line before we ever got here. Read a book!
  Joe's Post: "Read a book." (Three laughing face emojis)
• Old West tries to give Peter a dried hand, but Peter thinks it's cursed.
  • As the episode continues, Old West's offers for Peter to take the hand become increasingly desperate and manipulative, making it clear that the hand is almost certainly actually cursed.
• Act two ends with Old West whistling for his horse. He's late because he was playing video games with another horse.
• David Geffen paid the show $10 million not to do a cutaway about him.
  • In The Stinger, Peter hangs a plaque that says "The David Geffen Living Room" as part of the deal.
• They sneak into the police station in a Trojan David Bosch.
• In his jail cell, Old West is playing strip poker with his horse.
• Old West leaves to head to Utah at the end of act three, because another of his sons is planning to shoot him on the Fourth of July.

402. Single White Dad

• The episode starts with Peter accidentally starting a domino chain Meg was starting.
• Quagmire and Cleveland sit back and watch Peter making Donkey Kong on the front of the house with a YETI cooler nearby.
  Announcer: YETI coolers, for the man in your life with no personality.
• Peter brushing his teeth with a grill brush.
  Peter: I left my toothbrush in a hotel room three years ago.
• Peter losing custody of an orchid as if child services took a kid away.
• Trying to break an egg for breakfast, Peter shatters the frying pan.
• Brian and Stewie in each other's clothes.
• Peter gave Meg a grenade in her lunch bag.
  Peter: Use it to get a better lunch.
• After being mistaken for a single dad at the end of act one, Peter gets a barista to give him extra whipped cream on his Frappuccino.
• Joe thinks Stewie's name is Kirby.
• With her leg in a cast, Brian forces Lois to sniff her hairy leg.
• Peter changing Stewie's diaper while various mothers watch, set to "Holding Out For A Hero".
• The only reason Peter is with a mother named Becky is because he wants to use her popcorn machine.
  • Every time she mentions her late husband Scott to Peter, he yawns.
• Looking for a fly swatter, Chris opens drawers filled with sex toys.
• Quagmire's scumbag starter kit, contains various golf shirts.
• Peter's break-up text to Becky, which contains GIFs of Forrest Gump.
• The entire slapstick-style third act, which features such Peter doing things as tripping over a rug, getting his erection pills ("Those are discreet!"), and selling the washing machine to Bonnie.
  • Peter jumps off the roof with a feather he thinks will make him fly. It doesn't.
  Timothy Q. Mouse: That's for putting locks on your garbage cans, you dick!
• In The Stinger, Peter says that every time he looks out the window now, "Kiss Me" by Sixpence None The Richer plays.

403. White Meg Can't Jump

• This episode starts at Adam West High, where Chris denies a student applying for the Loser's Club.
  Chris: I don't care what yearbook captions you saw, we are not yet an organized club.
• Meg grabbing the only slice of French bread pizza with two pepperonis, who tells his wife where the deed to the house is.
• Principal Shepherd became coach of the girls' basketball team to build character for his second divorce hearing.
  • His new ex-wife, Felicia Legette, got the closing voice-over at the end of act three, and says he's addicted to Xanax.
• Stewie calls Brian a Boomer because he saves back issues of The Costco Connection.
• The video "The Truth About Naps", about a three-year-old refusing to take a nap in 1999 and how after lunch he made a finger painting that's still on his parents' fridge.
• A hard-nosed police detective avoiding being taken off a murder case by saying he won't care about the victims.
• Quagmire is at the girls' basketball tryouts, and not for his usual ways. According to him, the only people who come to the games are him and goth kids.
  Quagmire: Boom goes the Badabook! See you on Sports Center Top Ten! (to the Sports Center theme) Gig-gi-ty, gig-gi-ty!
• Act one ends with Peter telling his brewery co-workers the Meg made the team, and that he saw a woman fart while she was pumping gas.
• "Come on, where's the energy here? And that was an insult."
• Stewie watching a video of Corey teaching how to undermine the dark web.
• Britney Spears' father refusing to give her cereal, saying there is no cereal.
  Announcer: Family Guy: We're on Britney's side, now that it's popular.
• The team's first game is against "Generic High School". Peter says he can't film it because he dropped his phone down a bleacher slat, ruining a teenage sexual encounter.
• Stewie imagining that the house is on fire and the floor is lava as he heads upstairs.
• After seeing his parents have sex, Stewie faints. His soul pops out, sees what happens, then faints. Then David Hyde Pierce pops out of that soul!
• Adam West High's team name is the "Name Pending Open Administrative Hearing October Fourths".
  Peter: (wearing a "Fighty Whities" sweatshirt) Oh, so now the "Fighty Whities" is offensive?!
  Lois: Take off the sweatshirt.
• Peter loses his voice at the worst time: When a Buttscratcher vendor passes by.
• Stewie gets multiple personality disorder at the end of act two. One of them is "The Jase-Man", who gives Chris a purple nurple.
  • Other personalities include Kermit the Frog and Gilbert Gottfried (as himself).
• Dr. Hartman microwaving his lunch while listening to Lois.
• At the championship game, Meg gets fouled by "Exasperated Mouthguard Mary".
  • After she calls a time out, babies walk onto the court.
• At the end of the game (Adam West wins 11-10), the commentators run off because they're illegally parked.
• The Stinger is centered around the team's championship picture at Applebee's.
  Announcer: Applebee's: Drink your blue drink and shut up.

404. Adoptation

• This episode starts with Lois talking about her dream at breakfast. Chris and Meg get out of it by chewing cyanide pills while Brian and Stewie travel to the sinking of the Titanic (which they agree was better than listening to the story).
  • Peter, meanwhile, backs out all the way to Bob's Burgers, where Homer Simpson is also eating!
  Peter: Why are there two sets of prices?
  Bob: That's the Emmy-winners' discount.
• Babs wonders if Chris is diabetic. Lois thinks he is because they never go to doctors.
• "If it was so serious, we'd flip to me in a boardroom with a crisis team! (screen flip) Ah, I didn't grab my drink."
• The video "So You've Caused An Enviromental Disaster", hosted by Captain Hazelwood, who caused the Exxon Valdez crisis. He also says he was the 1987 Anchorage ballroom dancing champion, but gets overshadowed.
• Carter decides on a photo op at an orphanage instead of a Holocaust memorial.
• Bruce volunteers at the orphange because he thinks it's called "Our Lady Of The Immaculate Anus".
  Bruce: I love kids and I'm an expert at going "tsk, tsk, tsk."
• "Brooks Brothers: Look sharp at your sexual assault trial."
• Act one ends with Carter adopting Tatum, then picking up the receipt just in case.
• Uncomfortable Audio Delay Gina reporting Channel 5 news.
• Stewie scratching Brian's belly after accidentally saying "underbelly".
• As a child, Babs made Carter take Lois to the zoo, but he made business calls on the beach (complete with giant phone) instead.
• "Mind if I cut in?" "Mind if I cut one? (loud, pants-soiling fart) Uhp, too late! All right, I got to go take a not-wetting-the-hair shower."
• House Hunters: Australia.
• Lois seeing Ron Weasley's face in her reflection.
• After Lois loses Tatum at the end of act two, Peter uses this as an excuse to climb a giraffe's neck.
• Chris splits himself in two, but has to put himself back together because it'll be in the promo.
• Trying to find Tatum, Brian gets tricked into being mauled by wolves by believing they read Faster Than The Speed Of Love.
  • Later, he gets beaten up by gorillas who have read the book (they didn't like it).
• Peter doing a stand-up routine to hyenas. They're not laughing because their president was shot.
• When Tatum is found in the gorilla pit, the zoo wrangler gets lowered in, but he's torn limb by limb. One gorilla puts on his face and walks out of the zoo.
• "Wow, from this angle, you can really see Lois' roots."
• How does Lois distract the gorillas? By telling them about her dream.
• Act three ends with a parody of the opening of The Brady Bunch, featuring Carter, Babs, Lois, Tatum, a dog, and three empty squares representing their three kids who didn't live.
• The Stinger is the Pewterschmidts eating dinner at a long table.

405. The Bird Reich

• This episode starts with Stewie walking in on Brian at night because Lois drank three lattes and a bottle wine, so her breast milk kept him up.
• Peter jumps off three filing cabinets stacked on top of each other because he's testing a desk trampoline.
• In the hopes of getting bereavement leave, Peter cuts off the brakes to Brian's Prius. It doesn't work because Brian cups the wind to stop it.
• Sign at the bookstore: "Today: Brian Griffin Reading; Tomorrow: Something Equally Unappealing"
• The reading of Brian's book took so long, Chris aged, got married, and had twins.
• While Peter looks at animals about to die, Bruce calls dibs on a gerbil and a cardboard tube.
  Peter: I snoozed and I lost.
• Peter names the 80-year-old parrot he gets Gonzo because of the Muppet, and because "very soon, he gone!"
• Act one ends with Brian, Chris, and Joe looking at Bonnie have sex in an open window near a little free library.
  Joe: Pass me a Michael Crichton, it's gonna be a while.
• At The Drunken Clam, Peter uses Gonzo's beak to open beer bottles and use the caps to shoot down cups.
• Joe translates everything Gonzo said from German because he was abandoned in Germany in high school.
  • Peter didn't realize Gonzo was Adolf Hitler's parrot before taking him to see the high school production of The Sound Of Music. As a result, Gonzo tried to lead the Nazis into finding the Von Trapps while Carter cheered them on.
• A Ring doorbell camera caught Principal Shepherd returning to Squid Game.
• Act two ends with Brian throwing his laptop in the trash, even though Stewie said e-waste is in a different bin. When a garbage truck picks up the trash can with laptop, the truck catches fire and explodes.
• Peter running into a mosque where the rabbi is practicing a circumcision on a hot dog.
• After finding out Gonzo was Jewish and pretended to be a Nazi, they celebrate by eating matzo, which causes Gonzo to choke and die.
  Peter: I think he lost his chaim.
• Act three ends with Stewie and Brian talking about books that were written by the show's staff and how they also bombed.
• The Stinger is the funeral of Gonzo, consisting of Peter dumping him in a toilet filled with Peter's stool while Chris plays "Every Morning" by Sugar Ray on the bagpipes. When Peter flushes, the toilet overflows.
  Lois: These are our church shoes! Everyone into the bathtub! (the Griffins run to the tub)
  Peter: Don't forget to sign the guest book.

406. A Bottle Episode

• The episode starts with Stewie noticing Lois' iPad flashlight is on.
• Every time Lois says "Airbnb", a white woman five miles away hears it and calls Lois "The Pelican". Her husband wants to know who "The Pelican" is.
• On the Welcome to Nantucket sign: "Home Of The Man From"
• James Taylor serenades everyone who visits Nantucket and every store that closes at the end of the season.
  Peter: You know, I hear his backstage rider is just a single carton of oat milk.
• "Yes, free samples is my favorite way to slowly sink a business."
• Cryptocurrency Carl, who becomes rich and poor after buying a mansion and asking that everything be painted matte black.
• Peter tries to hook the kids to a ride-on sex machine, which he claims is a lie detector.
• After realizing she stole a shampoo bottle, Meg and Chris interrogate it, mainly about its size, during dinner.
  • Bonnie heard it because she and Joe have eerily quiet dinners.
• Brian is forced to tell jokes to Bruce late at night while he's watching infomericals and eating taffy.
• Act three starts with Lois talking to the Airbnb owner Dottie at the "Bell Over The Door Cafe". James Taylor wrote a song about the bell and how it survived a shipwreck.
• Peter's glitched call to Lois, complaining that everyone pooped in a bathtub.
• Stewie and Brian sell all the salt water taffy to Trump supporters by telling Joe Rogan it cures COVID.
• Lois admits she ate yogurt in Dottie's wedding dress.
• "Airbnb: What are you doing?! It's your house!"
• The Stinger is Lois trying to talk to James Taylor on a ferry.
  Lois: I kinda thought you'd have a helicopter, James Taylor.
  James Taylor: Carly got it in the divorce.

407. Vat Man And Rob 'Em

• This episode starts at an office party, where Peter grabs a handful of sheet cake.
• After peeing on a lamp post, Brian sniffs the urine and discovers that another dog is pregnant.
  Brian: Oh, some poor bastard's got a drinking problem.
  Stewie: That's your pee.
  Brian: Some cool guy knows how to party!
• Sportscasters at an Oakland A's baseball game, "The biggest 'Who Cares?' of professional sports."
• "Cosmetology Schul: We spell 'school' with a U for legal reasons."
• Act one ends with Principal Shepherd getting Peter to open the brewery after showing him naked photos of Chris. Chris says they were taken without his consent and he doesn't care about it.
• The boys talking about Joe's favorite type of music, songs that yell the names of places.
• Keith from accounting playing songs he wrote with long backstories.
• Brian with a German plunger.
• According to Joe, every successful heist since 1998 started with "Walkin' On The Sun".
• "Okay, Chris, your agent said you wanted more scenes. These are your scenes."
• The Tiktok stunt Brian is being forced to do: He's hogtied to a drone that's tailing a banner for lubricant. Brian is mad about this because he's sponsored content.
• In The Stinger, the Griffins die of carbon monoxide because Peter took the batteries out of a carbon monoxide detector to power up a Star Tours visor.

408. From Russia With Love

• This episode starts with the Griffins watching an ASPCA commerical that has "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" as the music.
• Chris bails out Brian's IG Live stream by asking him if he wants to go for a ride in the car.
• Peter only uses newspapers to punctuate sentences and to hit Meg.
  Announcer: Newspapers: Because your parrot can't shit on an iPad.
• Lois writes down the names of Quagmire's girlfriends in case his life becomes a Dateline episode.
• When Lois was in junior high, only her left breast came in, so she used a Pop-O-Matic from the game of Trouble for her right breast.
• After find out he's been hacked at the end of act one, Brian says it has him seeing gray (because he's colorblind).
• Brian wants his account back because he sent DMs to Zendaya (Euphoria Zendaya and Disney Zendaya).
• While Lois complains about Stephanie, Peter runs a red light, annoying a driver.
• Eating breakfast with Meg, Stewie asks if the two of them have ever been alone in the same room.
• Meg learned Russian by watching dark web videos, using the phrase "Please don't kill me" as a building block.
• As everyone decides to go to Russia at the end of act two, Stewie complains about why they didn't go to his business meeting on Fire Island because he sells bikini swimsuits to men of size (not fat people).
• Sign at Lee Harvey Oswald International Airport: "Conveniently, English Spoken When Necessary"
• Dr. Hartman gets his mother to pick him up because a nurse didn't give him a Valentine.
  • "Did you run into an old bully or were you tagged in a very unflattering Throwback Thursday photo?"
• The first thing Ivan the hacker that stole Brian's Instagram wants to know about America is if there is "a Cedric who Entertains".
• At a pool party, Joe is on a broken harness.
• Peter thinks it's his turn for Lois to receive sex because she was wrong. Lois says it's only for times she was wrong about him.
• After Meg decides to stay in Russia at the end of act three, Brian and Stewie argue over who should pay for a magazine Brian bought at the airport.
• In The Stinger, Lois reads a postcard from Meg saying that she contracted cattle plague.

409. Adult Education

• This episode starts with Chris saying that the metal detectors at the high school were down.
• Stewie fitting pants for Rupert.
• Meg's song about life in Russia.
• Chris trying to join the Toastmasters' Club.
  • He also decides not to join the lacrosse team after being told he'd be a good defendant (not defender).
• After posting a picture of beets on Instagram and comparing it to a hamburger, Meg gets hit with a blow dart. The shooter in a van tries to explain it to Ivan, but the driver drives too fast for him to finish.
• Chris finds out that Principal Shepherd is making porn films at the end of act one after posting about zoning laws on the Pornhub message board.
  • He confronts Shepherd by deliberately acting up and misquoting The Simpsons to get in trouble.
• Chris' first tip for making pornos is to give them titles that includes the word "step" followed by a noun.
  Chris: Even "stepladder" is getting traction these days.
• Steve Martin finding his calling.
• Chris filming lunch lady porn.
• Shepherd rewards Chris with a 1992 Toyota Cressida, "the principal's dream car."
• Meg and Ivan picnic in a cemetery so she can meet his parents (who were torn by dogs) and propose. When Meg says yes, he grabs a ring from his mother's skeleton.
• Lois realises Chris is making porn at the end of act two after noticing an actress wearing Crocs and an Arby's bag nearby.
  Announcer: Arby's: We don't judge, we just hand out shaved meats.
• "Well, CVS didn't have any towels, so follow me to the science lab and I'll show you where the eyewash stations are."
• Sign at school board: "TONIGHT: SCHOOL BOARD MEETING TOMORROW: MAINTENANCE INSTALLING LARGER SIGN" (most letters in "LARGER SIGN" are on the ground)
  • At the meeting, someone complains that no one bought brownies.
• Chris talks his way out of trouble by saying that they're using it for fundraising, such as that the reading specialist was paid for by a "Das Boot" (when a bunch of German men go down at once).
• The Stinger: Meg learns she was only married so Ivan can get a green card, so she deliberately sends anti-Russian tweets on his tracked phone, causing him to get hit by blow darts.

Season Twenty-Two

410. Fertilized Megg

• This episode starts with Stewie drawing a birthday card for a kid named "Yogurt" because his parents are doulas.
  • Peter makes Meg take Stewie to the birthday party because he thinks he knows the meaning of the word "delegate".
• The Griffins' ancestors at the Boston Tea Party.
• Sign at the bowling alley: "IT'S SUPPOSED TO SMELL THAT WAY"
• Peter bowling like Fred Flintstone.
  Peter: (after bowling a strike) Yibba Yabba Yoo!
  Caption: LEGALLY ACCEPTABLE SOUND-ALIKE
• Stewie's new rival, William, beats him at bowling using a ramp to aid them (William knocks down one pin, Stewie's ball stops in the middle of the lane). Stewie says it's because someone's using his usual dinosaur ramp. Cut to Joe using it.
• Chris as a women's foot measurer.
• After announcing she's having Bruce and Jeffrey's baby at the end of act one, Peter takes him to the top of the stairs.
  Announcer: Top of the stairs: It's not an abortion, it's an oopsie.
• The only thing Stewie is taking away from this is that Meg's not eating sushi.
  • After Meg gives birth at the end of act two, Stewie gets some from the hospital, then is immediately admitted for eating it.
• Meg is impregnated by an embryo shot from a cannon Dr. Hartman said a clown died in.
• Peter runs out of the house through a hole caused by drunk driving, claiming it's from Meg's farts.
• Peter eating edible underwear before being executed.
• Meg's pregnancy is fast forwarded by quick scenes where Peter develops a meth addiction, goes to rehab, and comes back when her water breaks.
• Dr. Hartman checking contractions.
  Dr. Hartman: "Shouldn't", "wouldn't", "hadn't", "ma'am", "'twas". Oh, they're getting closer together!
  • He catches baby Liza Judy Barbra in a Panda Express bag, saying they're safer to use than Subway bags (he's dropped four babies that way).
• Stewie made a cutaway about Bruce and Jeffrey's murder mystery play so he can see it.
• "T.J. Maxx: Teach your kids to drive in our empty parking lot."
• Meg gives Liza Judy Barbara to Bruce and Jeffrey after saying her first two gay icons, "Gaga" and "Jeane Tripplehorn".
• Act three ends with a bum wearing a "GILF" sweater thinking it stands for "God, I Love Fentanyl".
• The Stinger is Bruce singing Liza Judy Barbara by acting like they're at a rave.
  Peter: Yeah, it's about right for a man with that haircut.

411. Supermarket Pete

• The episode starts at a staff meeting, which Peter thinks is about his pants found in a bathroom stall.
• The WeWork lunatic explaining the brewery's remodeling.
• Peter talking about how his Amazon delivery man once delivered batteries to Pat Sajak.
• Joe says that most murder victims in Quahog are named Britney and Lacey.
• Curb Your Enthusiasm with Jeff Garlin repeating what Larry David says.
• Peter tap dancing to his mailbox before learning he wasn't accepted to Juliard.
  Peter: I was just five years away from three figures a month.
• Joe forces Brian to put down an armbone he was chewing.
• Act one ends with Eliot the assistant manager announcing "plot twist on aisle four", then attempting to stop all the Stop 'n Shop workers from forming a union over the P.A. system.
• Peter trying to deposit a 100 Grand bar at the Wells Fargo at the shop.
• Peter turned the kitchen into a grocery store, where he labeled every can a 69 cent price tag.
  • Chris is a security guard and he catches Lois with her vitamins, then calls Carter to pick her up.
• "Did you know Jonbenet Ramsey's dad dated Natalie Holloway's mom?"
• Joe and Bonnie have been roleplaying. Bonnie is a sexy maid and Joe is an armoire waiting to be dusted in a storage locker.
• After being banned from the Stop 'n Shop at the end of act two, she's placed in the "In Memoriam" section of the Grocery Store Oscars, just after Betty White.
  Lois: Didn't Brenda Vaccaro die or something?!
  Brenda Vaccaro: (between wheezes) No, I live here in aisle four with the Kotex tampons. Still more absorbent than the leading brand.
• Lois and Bonnie talking about Sedona, Arizona as part of a white girl conversation.
• Peter's car has a "Blue Lives Matter" sticker. Not for cops, but for Grover from Sesame Street.
• Joe and Brian get caught up in a fight between Sarah Koening, Keith Morrison, NPR reporters, and Chris Hansen (who's just there in case one of them is a predator).
• Act three ends with Peter getting fired, then heading to the Mickey-copter.
  Peter: See, Disney? Nothing here but respectful synergy.
• In The Stinger, Keith Morrison talks about the WeWork guy while leaning on wet paint.

412. A Stache From The Past

• Banner at the Quahog Flea Market: "Put Your Wallet In Your Front Pocket"
  • Peter thought it was the flea circus from Coraline.
• Peter got a reverse mortgage so he could buy a Mr. Potato Head Dr. Hartman learned anatomy from. Peter first tried to trade it for Skittles he thought were magic beans.
• According to Stewie, Rupert only likes Peppa Pig branded tea sets.
• Stewie's antique collection contains a shelf filled with (blurred) racist packaging, mainly from pancake companies.
• "Panera Bread: Where swim teachers from other towns wait out traffic."
• A parody of the Sarah McLaughlan PSA featuring abandoned jet skis in Lake Havasu.
• Wild West and Tom Selleck were part of a country duo called "Cold Hard 'Stache", right up until Tom became addicted to One-A-Day multivitamins.
  Wild West: In the end, "One-A-Day" was just a suggestion. I reckon he was up to nine or ten a week.
• Prince Harry regretting leaving the Royal Family after Meghan Markle tells them about doing their daily sponsored Instagram post.
• According to Peter, Blue Bloods is CBS's loudest show.
• Act one ends with Wild West telling Peter about 9/11 on horseback as they head to New York City.
• Peter says they're in TV New York because the cab drivers are white.
• "And by the way, there was a dead cricket in the teapot you sold me."
• Tom Selleck gets paid in Hawaiian shorts for reverse mortgages.
  • He refers to his Blue Bloods character as "Chief Whatever-My-Character's-Name-Is-On-Blue-Bloods".
• Act two ends with Peter and Wild West getting arrested for trespassing. Peter thinks it's because he was rubbing on ladies.
  Peter (rubbing on a cop) Hey, eight million people. We all gotta fit somewhere.
• Sports commentators announce on the flea market sell-off because they hit someone with a car.
• Chris narrates the end of the subplot: 200 people were arrested because they were all within 500 feet of a school. And that he was in a very hot car that day.
• After making amends at the end of at three, Peter tries to get another plate of lasagna.
• The Stinger is Peter and Lois watching Peter's cameo on Blue Bloods, followed by these captions:
  Tom Selleck was played by an actor.
  The real Tom Selleck continues to sell reverse mortages to probably your grandparents.
  All our grandparents are dead :(
  Up next, Jennifer Garner selling you a high-interest credit card.
  She probably doesn't need the money.
  But then again, "Alias" was a long time ago.

413. Old World Harm

• The Running Gag of the theme to L.A. Law playing.
• Stewie decides to take showers after reading a magazine from 2012 in a post office waiting room about Whitney Houston's death.
• Peter's homemade jetpack uses firecrackers, leaf blowers, and two falcons.
  Peter: To a thousand and beyond!
  Cleveland: That's how high as he can count.
• Joe offers his mother's condo because she summers in Florida and winters in Buffalo.
• Brian's story about his first shower told as he was a war veteran with PTSD.
• After Stewie tells Brian he'll shower "With or Without You," Brian says that they can't afford the song.
• "Welcome To Florida" sign: "Home Of The Pee-Sprayed Flip-Flop"
• Lois learns they're at a retirement community at the end of act one. Peter admits he told her on the flight while she was asleep.
• The Joe-mometer, a thermostat that speaks celebrity trivia in Joe's voice.
• Peter with giant trapezoids.
• "Everything was a nickel then. A suit was a nickel, a house was a nickel, a dime was a nickel."
• After learning that old ladies are 70% pocket candy, Peter hits one with a broomstick like she was a pinata and candy comes out of her pockets.
• As the senior citizens prepare to harvest Peter and Lois at the end of act two, someone calls dibs on Peter's hooves because he thought Peter was a cow (saying he saw Peter graze).
• Lois discovers the organ ring after first opening a door labeled "Organ Room" and finding an organist playing "Tie A Yellow Ribbon 'Round The Old Oak Tree".
  Lois: (Noticing a door labeled "Organ Room (Where We Keep Stolen Body Parts)"): Hard to misinterpret that...
• Just before Stewie turns the water on, he tells Brian he notices his penis daily and doesn't say anything about it.
• Stewie grabbing 10 years worth of Meg's hair by from the drain, set to "The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald".
• In Florida, cops are strippers with guns, strippers are firemen, and no one knows who fights fires.
• Peter and Lois escape because it's 4:04 PM and everyone else is missing dinner.
• Act three ends with The Reveal that Joe knew about the organ harvesting because he wanted Peter's legs. So he says he'll try again with Cleveland.
  • In The Stinger, it turns out it worked.
  Joe: Hey, bud, how was Florida?
  (woman on organ plays "Tie A Yellow Ribbon 'Round The Old Oak Tree")

414. Baby, It's Cold Inside

• The episode starts with Peter asking how to empty the reservoir from a Real Doll.
• According to Peter, his and Lois's anniversary is Donald Sutherland's birthday. In the next scene, Stewie and Brian wonder how old he is.
• Peter as Alfred E. Neuman.
• Stewie gets his mini-fridge because his rival Danny Devito got bitten by a mosquito and grew taller as a promo for the Peacock original Danny Devito And The Magic Mosquito.
• When talking about anniversary gifts Joe suggests a tin from Popcornucopia and won't shut up about it for the rest of the scene.
  • At the end of act three, Cleveland, Joe, and Quagmire share a tin the police got from an elder abuse victim who sent it as a thank you gift for arresting her grandson.
• Michael Douglas ruining a dinner party by asking if anyone wants to learn about his mouth cancer.
• Stewie has put in the mini-fridge a box of Armie Hammer baking soda, "now with 40% more fingers."
  Stewie: Pretty much all he had to do was not eat people.
• On their romantic boat ride, Lois notices a cruise ship that can't dock because of COVID.
  • When Peter cannonballs, he makes a wave that turns the ship, like The Posideon Adventure.
• After Lois washes on shore at the end of act one, Peter posts a picture of her on Instagram and it gets a like and comment from Bonnie.
• Stewie turning his room into a college dorm, including French-Canadian roommate Guy and Chris as the R.A.
• Peter forgets the safe word at a sex party, so he shouts every word in the dictionary alphabetically while getting flogged.
  Peter: The bad news was the safe word was "zyzzyva," a genus of South American weevils, which coincidentally, I was forced to keister.
• Peter gets Lois in the opening credits to Saturday Night Live between shots of Kenan Thompson trying to hail a cab, but failing until Mikey Day invites him into his cab.
• A support group for pennies, nickels, and dimes about how worthless they are.
  Announcer: Coming this fall from Pixar, Coins! We'll keep making things talk until you don't show up.
• After saying he's leaving at the end of act two, Peter packs his stuff, including a new Real Doll because he couldn't figure out how to empty the first one.
• Peter notices that Quagmire has weird teeth when asking him to repeat something. Joe does this and he notices it, too.
• Peter got Chris Daughtry on Cameo to make up to Lois, then tells Peter his Venmo didn't work.
• "You know, for a fat guy, Peter's got a tiny ass."
• In The Stinger, Brian notices Stewie has frozen himself to death because he left the mini-fridge partly open.

415. Boston Stewie

• This episode starts with Meg frosting cupcakes because she had her period (or miscarriage).
  Meg: Either way, happy unbirthday!
  Caption: FUN FACT: You can legally report that joke to the Texas Attorney General and collect a $10,000 bounty!
• Stewie learns about his half-brother while snooping through Lois' mail.
  • Brian suddenly realizes he wants to try a human egg.
• Stewie looking at Chris' jack in the box.
  Stewie: Chris, what did you do to this?!
  Chris: It's not called a "Jack Elsewhere".
• The montages of Meg applying for a small business loan, searching for a dry cleaner that will remove a stain from a robe, and declaring the business as inactive, while the song that plays explains that they had to include it because the animator lost custody of his children and got a DUI.
  • In The Stinger, the animator calls his son Gavin.
• Peter interrupts Stewie on Facetime, trying to tell him he fell in the shower.
• Act one ends with a montage of infamous Harvard graduates set to "The Boys Are Back In Town". Stewie then apologizes for to the Unabomber for including him.
• Boston!Stewie says he was orphaned, but no one wanted to adopt him. So he moved to the bleachers in Fenway Park.
• Georges Seurat doing pointillism in front of a cheering crowd.
• The Japanese attack on David Harbor: A reporter asks him why he looks like he woke up in a dump.
• For show and tell, Boston!Stewie pulls various things out of his pockets, such as Donnie Walhberg's cigar cutter and a newspaper clipping where he's quoted about a house fire.
• "Good night, Stewie at 11:45 PM, which is a time that works for you."
• Before agreeing to help Boston!Stewie get adopted at the end of act two, Stewie asks him to step off the white carpet because he's wearing sandals.
• Timothee Chalamet in Dune: He blows away during filming and Peter has to chase him.
• Boston!Stewie gets adopted by Mark Walhberg's sisters from The Fighter, who were kicked out for sneaking their own beers.

416. Snap(ple) Decision

• The episode starts at breakfast, where Peter says he and Chris are competing in the greasy pole climbing contest he heard about on the radio four minutes ago.
• Meg doing the Peter Griffin online training course.
• Chris' video call saying that at the contest, Peter's eye came out and they put it back in the wrong way.
• Bringing in the mail, Stewie finds out that Janet forgave Robert and their wedding between is back on.
  • Part of act three takes place at the reception.
• Tom Brady moving to Tampa Bay.
  Tom Brady: Alright, now I get to cheat in shorts!
  Peyton Manning: I'm Peyton Manning, and I approve this message.
• The creation of broccolini.
• Act one ends with Lois cheering on her and Meg's girls trip while getting a mammogram.
• For her trip to "Vacation Destination", Lois got Peter his favorite babysitter.
  • At the hotel, Lois admits they heard about it because a rich lady was murdered there. Which is how most guests learned about it.
• Peter grabs Stewie's Etch-A-Sketch, thinking it's an iPad.
• "I forgot these are prescription, but those are two smokin' hot blobs."
• Brian's love song about his friendship is just "Louie Louie" with words changed.
• Dr. Wagner says the health insurance card he got was a Robek's Juice card.
  Stewie: You went to SUNY-Albany. You'll take it and like it.
• After being kidnapped at the end of act two, Lois says the kidnappers can free Meg and do anything they want with her in the order of "you, you, blond arm hair guy, you two, maybe a quick lunch and shower, then blond arm hair guy again if he's into it."
• The place where Meg and Lois are kidnapped used to be a WeWork. Another kidnapper tries to operate a Keurig machine.
• Lois using everything she bought in act one to beat the kidnappers. Then she ties them up with long CVS receipts she kept (she saw a carpet cleaning coupon on one of them).
• "Now some slowly-building emotional music for estranged friends to look at each other and regret their rift!"
• Cleveland narrates the end of Brian and Stewie's plot: They got into another fight because Stewie used props at a photo booth and Brian didn't, and they made up at another wedding.
  Cleveland: I'm Cleveland Brown, and I know my show was way better than this.
• Act three ends with Lois talking to the babysitter about healthy snacks, and arguing about yogurt covered pretzels with Peter.
• In The Stinger, Stewie and Brian text each other about getting waffles at the diner when they ordered omelets.

417. Baking Sad

• The episode with Meg waking up from a dream where a cool kid says hey to her. She finds her goldfish is dead for the fifth time in a week, and her horse (in a fishbowl) has drowned.
• Peter comes in early from work for calling in a bomb scare.
• According to Lois, when Meghan McCain quit The View, she was replaced with a dozen feral cats in a quincenera dress.
• Regis Philbin talking from his grave.
• Meg got her rejection letter from the University of Rhode Island in a giant envelope because they ran out of small envelopes.
• A drunk Tom Tucker watching Channel 6 and mocking their Doppler weather.
• Joe got the gang their talk show because he babysat Tom's mustache over the holidays.
• While Meg decides to sell her cookies, Stewie talks about his trainer, Dean.
• Act one ends with Meg, Chris, Stewie, and Brian on Long Hallway Shark Tank, which consists of them walking through a long hallway over live-action shots of the Sharks. When they reach the end, the credits scroll by really fast.
  • Freeze-Frame Bonus: Here's the last part.
  PORTIONS OF THIS PROGRAM NOT AFFECTING THE OUTCOME HAVE BEEN EDITED,
  REVIED, AND COOKED AT 450 UNTIL GOLDEN BROWN.
  ANY ON-CAMERA DEAL IS CONTINGENT UPON A CLASSIC
  SPIT-ON-YOUR-HAND-AND-SHAKE
  AGREEMENT BETWEEN THE ENTREPRENEUR AND THE SHARK(S).
  THE PRECEDING WERE ACTUAL NEGOTIATIONS BETWEEN ENTREPRENEURS AND
  INVESTOR "SHARKS". THE SHARKS INVEST THEIR OWN MONEY AT
  THEIR DISCRETIONS, AND ARE NOT REAL SHARKS.
  YOU MAY NOT PUT THEM UNDERWATER FOR EXTENDED PERIODS OF TIME,
  OR THEY WILL DIE.
  COPYRIGHT 2023 TONY PICTURES TELEVISION INC.
  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
  TONY PICTURES TELEVISION INC IS THE AUTHOR OF THIS FILM/MOTION PICTURE
  FOR PURPOSES OF ARTICAL 15(2) OF THE
  BERNE CONVENTION AND ALL NATIONAL LAWS GIVING EFFECT THERETO.
  AND STEPHEN KING IS THE AUTHOR OF "IT".
  THIS MOTION PICTURE IS PROTECTED BY THE COPYRIGHT LAWS OF THE
  UNITED STATES OF AMERICS
  AND OTHER COUNTRIES, WE THINK. IT'S A LOT OF PAPERWORK.
  ANY UNAUTHORIZED DUPLICATION, COPYING,
  OR USE OF ALL OR PART OF THIS PRODUCTION IS NOT ALLOWED.
  BUT REALLY, WHO'S GONNA KNOW? ;)
• While making cookies, Stewie talks to Chris like Gordon Ramsey.
• The theme to Bar Table Talk is "Girls Just Want To Have Fun", but with the gang shouting "Guys" over the part where Cyndi Lauper sings "Girls". Joe misses his part.
  Joe: This is why I wanted to use "The Boys Are Back In Town", but no!
• Trying to get Meg to cry, Chris shows Meg a video of 2016 election night. It doesn't work, so he shows a Foot Locker employee getting ready in the morning, which works.
• After Meg realizes she can't cry at the end of act two, Jamie Lee Curtis, thinking Meg has a different "feminine dryness" problem, promotes Sliquid Feminine Wash along with Chris.
• Two people attended Chris Griffin's one-man Broadway show because one of them hit him with his car.
  • In The Stinger, they leave another one of his one-man shows, complain about it, then realize they like it.
• According to Peter, he proposed to Lois in an offensive Chinese accent.
• Meg attempting to pay a therapist in Bitcoin.
  • The end of act three: The therapist is really Mrs. Fields' husband, who starts laughing maniacally. Then so does everyone else in the building. Cut to all them being carried out in body bags because they all died from a gas leak while the paramedic brags about hitting a home run at a softball game the night before.

418. The Return Of The King (Of Queens)

• When Peter realizes the TV is gone, he thinks it's a dream and begins punching Brian.
• Peter at The Gap.
  Announcer: The Gap: The only store named for a taint. Located between Vera Wang and The Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory.
• "Can we have one holiday where we don't talk about Dad's rod?"
• A conversation at the beginning of Law & Order.
• The Griffins at the Florida Panhandle: Lois chokes on a shrimp at a diner and Peter has to resort to bribing everyone to get it out by telling them whoever succeeds gets to keep it.
• Brian uses Quagmire's Netflix account. As a result, Quagmire has dog-related documentaries suggested for him.
• After Kevin James shows up at the end of act one, Peter invites him to sit on the couch, which kicks him towards the Christmas tree.
  Peter: Road couch.
  • At the start of act two, Peter tells everyone they can't walk around naked.
• Peter naming 50 sitcoms whose pilot involves being forced to take someone in.
  • Lois then makes Peter name another 50, but after 49, Kevin notices Lois hung herself, but it's a parody of Airplane!
• Kevin won't enter The Drunken Clam until his warm-up man is finished with them.
• Peter showing Kevin how to pay a mortgage bill by forcing Carter to do it.
• "Realtors: Never anyone's plan A."
• After Kevin's hand starts disappearing at the end of act two, one of the Culkins shows up, asking if Brian also bit his hand off.
• Dr. Hartman was the doctor that didn't save John Candy.
• Pitching a sitcom for Kevin to return in, Chris keeps suggesting one about a robot called Big Wonder, even saying that the domain name is available.
• Peter put hockey ice in the kitchen so he can body check Chris to grab waffles.
• At the end of act three, Kevin decides to join up with someone else other then Les Moonves Chen ("I'm behind my wife's name now") to get another sitcom.
• In The Stinger, Brian and Stewie pitch one of their sitcom ideas to 20th Television, but they've committed to Big Wonder, because Chris has the domain name. So Stewie goes down the hall to pitch it.
  Stewie: (coming back with a black eye) He threw a computer at me. He didn't even ask who I was.

419. Cabin Pressure

• This episode starts at the brewery picnic so Peter can show the rest of the Griffins his co-workers, including Cocky Jogger and Bob Belcher.
• The slide show of Mooseattackee, Maine, which features people being chased by moose.
• A Stephen King book at the beginning.
• Peter wins the egg toss by holding an angry dad conversation.
• "And if that ain't the promo in the middle of a meaningless Vikings-Packers game, I don't know what is!" ^note  Ironically, this was the first episode to premiere after the show moved to Wednesday.
• Chris tries to get Lois permission to bottle Bonnie's bathwater.
• According to Stewie, Barbara Bush got her haircut by bringing in a Quaker Oats box as inspiration.
  • At the end of act two, he has that haircut and earrings.
• Quagmire trying to figure out who took a dump in the main toilet. When he accuses Meg, she says she's been going outside all month.
• "6:27: Read '6:27' on daily schedule."
• Peter trying to fit into a too tight pair of shorts.
  Announcer: Vacation: Let's just pack the stuff we're sure fits.
• Art's Trading Post closed 20 minutes before everyone arrived. The clerk just flipped the sign when they drove up because the owner wanted him to devastate a fat guy that way.
• Lois freaks out after learning that her reusable grocery bags were lost in the fire.
• Peter gets distracted from watching a Corey's World tutorial about rebuilding the cabin to watch a video of a gerbil singing opera.
• It turned out Preston didn't like the cabin, especially the barn owl who pushed his wife down the stairs.
• Act three ends with everyone deciding to stay in Maine for the rest of the week... then driving home two hours later.
  Announcer: Maine: A day and a half is probably enough.
• In The Stinger, it's revealed the entire episode was All Just a Dream due to Peter's stress induced heart attack during the egg toss.
  Bob Belcher: Poor Darren.

420. Teacher's Heavy Pet

• Marquee at the homecoming game: "WELCOME SWOLLEN RED-FACED ALUMNI!"
• Principal Shepherd tells anyone who's staging a shooting to wait until after the half-time show.
• The game is dedicated to Mr. Trampledon, who was trampled by the team a week after he was asked to stop paddling and quickly decided to retire.
• "This is Chris Griffin's fourth win for Adam West High Homecoming Dunce even though he's only a sophomore."
• Hulu's Pam & Tommy Lee Jones.
• Lois talks about guys dressing as women and is forced to take a nationwide apology tour before taking the job as a substitute teacher.
• Chris watching Wheel Of Fortune with Joe because Chris thought Bonnie was home.
• Adam West High's trophy case has a picture of Principal Shepherd with Counting Crows because he won a radio contest.
• Peter accidentally switched places and insides with a pinata at Chris' birthday party.
  Pinata: I did it, I'm alive! Now to move in with my sister Hilaria Baldwin!
• "Oh no! Cinematic text messages give everything away!"
• After a 50s-style student realizes he's dead, Meg tells him she can see ghosts.
  George Washington's Ghost: Hey, Meg, the, uh, ghost toilet is clogged again. Requires a human fist.
• The male cheerleaders redecorated Chris' locker in Hollywood Regency style.
• When Meg asks if Lois is bigger than Chris, the show immediately becomes rated TV-MA.
• The popular kids force Chris to sit at a table with two angry kids wearing hearing aids and a blind kid.
• Act two ends with the picture of Lois showering being sent around the school. When Principal Shepherd gets the picture, he notices a bottle of Kerasilk shampoo for color treated hair that Peter's using.
  Text 1: Check out Miss Pewterschmidt!
  Text 2: I hear she's sleeping with a student!
  Text 3: Ugh, look at the crappy tile work in the shower #PeelAndStickCity.
• When Peter sees the picture, he notices the suds cover her private parts and checks if it's on the Soapkinis subreddit.
• Act three ends with Peter reading about celebrity bankruptcies.
• The Stinger is Chris confessing that he did not have sex with Lois. Lois decides to continue the charade by saying he did, but she's actually talking about giving birth to him.
  Chris: Lois got six years for sex with a minor. Asher died in an e-bike accident. And as for me, I married Liz Hurley's strangely attractive son. My name is Chris Griffin Hurley. I took his name.

421. Take This Job And Love It

• The episode's backstory is that Peter finally logged on to his work e-mail address and is looking through all the messages he should have gotten. The first one told him he shouldn't have come in on 9/11.

Peter's Dream Job (Diamonds Are Expensive)

• The story starts with Lap Band (Peter) asking a girl which lamp she unplugged to charge her phone.
• The bad guys are from Finland so they wouldn't offend American and Chinese audiences. And they deliberately shoot at the ground.
• Band's parachute has "Ozempic" on it.
  Band: They threw a ton of money at us. We couldn't say no.
• Randy Newman did the theme song.
• The secretary Miss Takeapenny (Meg) is leaving because he got married and is now Mrs. Takeapenny-Leaveapenny. So Band decides to hit on the new secretary, Todd.
• After seeing that M is being played by Donna, Band thinks she's the new Little Mermaid.
• Q (Chris) obviously bought gadgets from Best Buy, such as a fridge that displays news headlines.
  • Band's gadgets include Captain America's shield and Kylo Ren's lightsaber, which angers Joe and Quagmire.
• After learning that Blofella (Stewie) is in Belgium, Lap promises not to have dessert for breakfast. Cut to him eating waffles at dusk.
• Blofella and Lap's meeting is ruined because Blofella left the helicopter running and they can't hear each other.
• Band talking to Q because he's the only person in Vegas wearing a tuxedo.
• The chase is interrupted because they can't find their way out of the casino. They also stop to see Santana perform.
• Band only found Blofella with the nuclear device because he's on a Hangover-themed tour.
  • The reason Blofella is blowing up Vegas: It's the only way he can get out of a timeshare.
• The story ends with Band not making love to Wendy Boobs (Lois) because he's gay.

Quagmire's Dream Job

• Peter starts the story by listening to it at 1.5x speed, like he does with his podcasts. Then he finds out about Quagmire's abusive relationship with Mama Celeste, so he slows it down to normal speed.
• Since it's the 80s, The Pointer Sisters follow Quagmire, singing a version of "Jump (For My Love)".
• Quagmire coined the word "aerobics" because he liked putting vowels together that shouldn't be.
• Quagmire announced aerobics on The Tonight Show With Johnny. Not Carson, John Davidson was guest hosting.
  • Rival Jane Fonda was the first guest, promoting 9 to 5, "The blousiest movie of the 1980s".
• Quagmire looking at three depressing VHS logos, then decides to use all of them. The story ends with a combination of them played at once.
• Fonda deliberately stole Quagmire's legwarmers because it was the chilliest decade for legs in history.
• Peter fast forwards through the ending at 8x speed. Luckily, Quagmire says it was the right thing to do.

Cleveland & Joe's Dream Job

• Cleveland and Joe's characters are based on their dream jobs: Cleveland's is to be a cop one day short of retirement because of the benefits package; Joe's is to be a loose cannon cop who can walk.
• Every establishing shot has a saxophone solo played over it.
• The Chief (Carter) tells Cleveland about the cocaine problem saying that one white girl got a nosebleed.
• Sargeant Maniac's (Joe) trailer is on a garbage-strung beach.
  • He walks around with no pants on because they want to get women to watch.
• They start by looking for leads... as in Leeds, a mattress store where they got to take a nap by saying they were potential customers.
• According to Maniac, Temple Shalom Isreal is where they control the weather and the Oscars.
• Over dinner at Cleveland's house, Maniac notices there's no pitcher of iced tea. Cleveland points out a picture of Ice-T hanging on the wall.
• When they find out the chief is the cartel mastermind, Cleveland realizes that's why he's been getting 3:00 AM phone calls about screenplay ideas.
  Chief: Hear me out: It's Die Hard, but in a building!
  Cleveland: Die Hard is in a building.
  Chief: Hmm, I don't know. Listen to me watch it and we'll find out. (20th Century Fox fanfare plays over the phone)
• The story ends with Cleveland being found not guilty of shooting the chief dead, followed by the logos that ended the previous story because Quagmire produced it.

422. Lifeguard Meg

• Sign at Quahog Family Ocean Park: "(FORMERLY: WHALE TEARS SEA PRISON)"
• The Griffins at Dollywood: Peter says the logo missed an opportunity with the double Os.
• Stewie only fell in the dolphin tank because he was hoping they would sting and he'd get peed on.
• Meg getting the ruby slippers from The Wizard Of Oz. They're too small and she keeps screaming in pain.
  Announcer: In Oz, there's no place like home. For big women's shoes, there's no place like Kohl's. Kohl's: Yes, we do have that in a wide.
• Mayor Wild West narrating the history of Sunny Side Cup and its previous names until he has to stop to calm down his dog.
  • The reason Stewie and Brian got the place: The old owner tweeted about Abbott Elementary and didn't use all caps.
• One of Meg's requirements for becoming a lifeguard is to run sultry in slow motion. Instead, she does a Benny Hill chase scene - the final bit of which sees Meg groping a lady's behind only to realize they were two bald men's heads.
• The lifeguard whistles play Ray Romano telling people to knock it off.
• Act one ends with Peter setting up his beach towel next to a breastfeeding mom.
• Peter cutting Chris, thinking he's a cake.
  Cake!Chris: Alright, let's see what's happening on Cakehub. (watches a video of a red velvet cake getting frosted)
• Peter promises to stay and not annoy Meg in exchange for taking over Stewie's lyric in the theme song.
• Brian and Stewie's small business Chase Bank commercial.
• Brian says the only person who would identify the coffee they're serving as Folgers is a white man who works in education. Cue Principal Shepherd.
  Japanese Graphics: "INCOVENIENT PRINCIPAL" return in short time!!!
• Peter attempts to dive in a kiddie pool because he thinks it's a deep pool with long-legged kids.
• After Meg performs mouth-to-mouth on Peter at the end of act two, everyone else is grossed out because it looked like she kissed him, which delights Woody Allen.
  • While everyone looks at it, a bunch of urban kids run to the pool and steal it.
• Principal Shepherd says they served Folgers at his wedding.
  • He ends up getting the place because someone noticed Brian was D Ming Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez.
• According to Lois, smoking a cigarette along is how TV depicts a woman at her lowest point emotionally.
• "Peter and Megan sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S... um, E-N-G."
  • Which causes Chris to finish second in a spelling bee.
• Meg is forced to save Peter after falling down stairs because it takes Lois four beers.
• Chris calls out Lois for sleeping with a bassist from Hoobastank (even she doesn't know which one).
• Act three ends with the reveal that Meg didn't resuscitate Peter. He did wake up, but now he has to be helped with everything and is pushed by a nurse who's on the phone with her sister.
• In The Stinger, we see Principal Shepherd running the coffee house, which is now teacher's lounge themed.
  Announcer: PRINCIPAL SHEPHERD'S TEACHERS' LOUNGE AND COFFEE HOUSE IT'S KIND OF LIKE ABBOTT ELEMENTARY, WHICH IS AMAZING! AMAZING! YOU GOTTA WATCH IT! OH MY GOD!!!

423. Fat Actor

• The episode starts with Tom Tucker telling whoever filmed him swearing at an off-ramp veteran not to post it.
• The last celebrity to visit Quahog was Jared Fogel, who apparently raped Chris while they were camping.
• Peter standing up to Kanye West... by telling him he didn't take off his shoes.
• Watching footage of Peter and other fat Quahog residents (like Cleveland, Cleveland Junior, and Principal Shepard) protesting, Peter's caption is "SAT ON HAMSTER AT SCHOOL EVENT", even though they said they weren't using it.
• Peter has a special five dollar bill used exclusively for snorting cocaine.
  Coked Up Abraham Lincoln: All right, let's get zapped and go see a play!
  Jingle: Abraham Lincoln: His wife's middle name was Todd!
• Act one ends with Peter becoming official fat guy consultant and getting Judd Apatow's nephew as a P.A.
• Act two starts with the Griffins watching something that sounds like a Western war movie, but according to Stewie, it's the new season of White Lotus.
• Introducing Brad Pitt to the rest of the gang, Peter tells Cleveland that Brad's like the white Morris Chestnut.
  • When they all take a selfie together, Kevin Spacey managed to photobomb it.
• "When you did that movie Snatch, did you know that also means something else? Because it very much does."
• Peter shoveling Jeremy Renner's driveway.
  Peter: (to Jeremy, who's been run over by a snowplow) Uh, Jeremy, in light of recent events, could 'Ol Pete borrow your skis?
• Peter shows Brad to do a fat guy rope swing: He yanks its arms out and the video gets 900,000 views on YouTube.
• It took Brad four non-Hollywood meals to gain all his weight.
• Act three starts with the Griffins watching a steamy business drama where no one understands what's happening.
  Chris: They haven't shown a bare ass in three weeks!
  Actress On Show: Show me your ass, Jim.
  Chris: And I'm back.
• After Lois says Peter can't act, he reveals he's been faking his orgasms (and using a Squirt gun full of Ivory).
• Confederates celebrating coming in second out of two armies in the Civil War.
• A child star getting an hour of school.
• The song about the tedious parts of making a movie.
• At the premiere, Peter is wearing two shirts sewn together, a jacket stolen from a steakhouse maitre 'd, and a towel for pants.
  • Dr. Hartman brought a woman in a coma as his date.
• "And thanks to the unnecessarily long writer's strike, we were unable to write a third joke for this speech."
• The last scene of the movie is a picture of Chris Christie in a baseball uniform over "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)" by The Proclaimers.
• Act three ends with Peter asking the audience of the movie to send death threats to him on the internet.
• In The Stinger, Stewie says he'd be great in A Streetcar Named Desire.
  Stewie: STELLA! STELLA!
  Stella: What?
  Stewie: Is Aiden home?

424. Faith No More

• The episode starts at the vet, where the doctor and Peter discusses Brian's hairless scrotum.
• Peter agreed to have a tracking chip installed in Brian for half price so he can play Ed Sheeran.
• Vet nurse Emma touches Brian's sweet spot. The reaction we see is a soccer team celebrating a goal.
• Brian likes whoever fired Bob Barker.
  Brian: Neuter yourself, dick.
  Emma: I know, what a jerk. Wasn't he also accused of sexual harassment?
  Brian: Yeah, yeah, yeah. The dog stuff, though, come on.
• The Italian Tony awards, where Best Musical goes to Cats for the 30th year in a row because it's the only musical the host has seen.
• The Christian rock band concert has only one black audience member, so he's showing up in every audience shot.
• Brian's Twitter bio mentions that he searches for abortion clinics in case the condom breaks.
• Stewie showing off his "Swarthy Men of Bethlehem" advent calendar.
• "I'm Mayor West and my voice was sped up because the show ran too long."
• Stewie's time machine is now password protected. Brian guesses Stewie's favorite Lizzo song to gain access.
• Sign at Bethlehem: "Home Of The Lone Manger"
• After Jesus turns water into wine, Brian brings cases of hard seltzer and a photo booth.
• Maury Povich told Joseph he wasn't Jesus' father.
• Jesus wants to be a stand-up comedian, like Jackie the Mason, Lewis the Blacksmith, and Chris the Rockpiler.
• Brian and Stewie arguing because Brian upgraded his iPhone when he was supposed to upgrade with Stewie on Christmas.
• Jesus was crucified because he told joke about Assyrians on a campus.
• At the end of act two, Peter says he knows what will happen when Brian and Stewie return to the present, but can't say because the network wants viewers to sit through Del Taco commercials.
  Announcer: Del Taco: You want fries with your taco? Too bad, you're getting them!
• Stewie really wants to enter a reality where his room has wainscotting.
• So what did happen? Judaism becomes the popular religion. Amongst what changed:
  • Cleveland is now Sammy Davis Brown, Jr.
  • Joe can walk because of medical care.
  • 80% of Channel 5 newscasts weather and Tom Tucker was forced to hire his brother Lennie as a sportscaster.
  • Mort has a deeper voice because he wasn't panicking all the time.
• Stewie stopped Moses from delivering the Ten Commandments by simply bribing him 20 dollars to walk away.
• God threatens Brian and Stewie to fix the problem with noogies because he's now a UPS driver.
  God: No collection plate. I gotta pay for Dish Network somehow.
• Act three ends with a Smash Cut to a bruised Brian and Stewie singing hymns.

---