- This piece of dialogue from "Everybody Hates Fat Mike" when Rochelle gives Julius a grand chewing out for saying that he does house work better than her which can be found here.Rochelle: Well, ain't this about a bi-! (crash) Are you crazy?! You do my job for one day (crash) and now it ain't that damn hard?! (crash) You bacon fryin', (crash) biscuit bakin', pancake makin', bald-headed bastard! (crash) You must think I'm crazy! (crash) You can kiss my ain't that hard a-! (crash) HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?!
"And that was my mother's way of letting him off easy."
- And then what Chris says afterwards:
- Chris is pretending to be a bad boy to impress a girl. He's confronting a waiter who threatened to throw him out while "Everybody Plays the Fool" plays and his parents walk up behind him.Rochelle: Chris!
- "Hey mom, can I have some cookie?" No, that's not a typo.
- When Chris gets a dog, he takes him to a trainer in a Puerto Rican part of town to which he claims is just like Bedstuy just with more Puerto Ricans. "There was a Puerto Rican Killmoves." Cut to Killmoves wrapped in a Puerto Rican flag trying to dance to Latin music.
- The episode ends with Chris being chased by the dog, with the the usual episode-ending Recurring Riff being sung in Spanish.
- "Everybody Hates the Substitute":Substitute: Veni. Vidi. Vici....I came. I saw. I conquered.
Chris" Eenie. Meenie. Miney. Mo....Catch a tiger. By the toe.
- From the above:Substitute: "The Vitruvian Man."
Chris: "The Hang Man. Pick a letter."
- Julius having a phobia of rabbits? Funny. Finding out that he has this phobia because he saw Night of the Lepus? Hilarious.
- Rochelle gets mad at Julius for not telling her about a credit card he has, to which he tells her that the only thing he bought using it was her wedding ring, which gets her to be quiet. While he's calm about it, we then see an Imagine Spot of him doing a hilarious victory dance while singing about how he was right.
- Why did Chris decide against admitting to his father that he drove his car without permission? He imagined that his dad would throw him out the window if he found out.
- In "Everybody Hates Malvo", Caruso gives Chris a "comedy" video for his Betamax system. The film? The Birth of a Nation.Narrator: Whatever it was, it couldn't be as bad as Soul Plane.
- When Rochelle threatens to smack Chris "into another nationality", a quick cutaway gag shows she does so and Chris is now Chinese.
Woman: How did you get here?
- Similarly, in the Thanksgiving episode, Chris' grandmother threatens to "hit him into another family". Smash Cut to Chris on a couch with a white family.
Chris: You don't want to know.
- In "Everybody Hates Ex-Cons", when Julius feels betrayed when he finds out that Drew is a fan of the Mets and not the Dodgers (which he only likes because they had Jackie Robinson for a player).
- In "Everybody Hates Earth Day", Tonya gets busted at school for threatening a classmate, which Rochelle finds out is a trait that she got from her. And to add to it, Tonya repeats the threat to her family in Rochelle's voice.
- Almost any scene with Ms. Morello.
- Rochelle going batshit insane at Julius about Tonya's bra in "Everybody Hates Doc's".
- Ironically, while no one except Caruso and Greg cares about Chris's absence from school in 'Everybody Hates Gretzky', Drew's fellow classmates and teacher sure as hell do and go into mass hysteria. In fact, in the event that Drew is not present in school without a legit excuse, they have installed a "Drew Alert" button.
- In Everybody Hates Kris, Julius had netted himself a job as what is very likely the first black Santa Claus at a fancy department store called "Goldstein's" in which the white people are usually are the majority of shoppers. While this may not seem too funny at face value, one must be reminded that Julius is cheapness personified. Because of that, after the children tell him their wishes, he lists anything negative he can think of about getting said presents, ergo Julius unintentionally makes the children weep bitter tears. Because of his stinginess, Julius seems to think they are literally asking him rather than the character he's playing, ergo he completely misinterprets the point of Santa Claus.
- For instance, when a girl asks for a Malibu Barbie set...Julius: So, what can Santa give you for Christmas?
Little Girl: A Malibu Barbie with the pink remote-controlled Corvette, the Barbie townhouse and the Barbie swimming pool.
Julius: Ooh. Do you know how much all that stuff costs?
Little Girl: No.
Julius: Well, Santa's gonna tell you. It costs $137.16. Do you have that kind of money?
Little Girl: No.
Julius: Well, neither does Santa.
(The little girl starts crying)
Narrator: Welcome to my world, kid.
- "Black Santa Claus caused more tears than the Tampa Bay Devil Rays."
- For instance, when a girl asks for a Malibu Barbie set...
- Chris asks his family why they can't accept him having a normal girl as a prom date. Their reaction is completely priceless.
- "In Everybody Hates the Gout," a doctor explains Julius' gout is due to his atrocious diet.Julius: (to all his food) Needs salt.Doctor: (annoyed) Are you out yo' damn mind?!
Funny / Everybody Hates Chris