Funny / Epic Rap Battles of History

Most of the Awesome entries double as this.

Moments pages are Spoilers Off. You Have Been Warned.

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Season 1

John Lennon vs. Bill O'Reilly

• "Because I'm evil, heart blacker than Don Cheadle!"
• The way more Bills appear, all bobbing their heads in sync, while he says "right-wing political machine".

Darth Vader vs. Adolf Hitler

• Adolf's entire first verse. It doesn't even give you time to know he's an Incoming Ham, and just cuts to him Chewing the Scenery like a beaver in furniture factory:
  I AM ADOLF HITLER!!! Commander of ze Third Reich!
  Little known fact, ALSO DOPE ON ZE MIC!!!
• Hitler revealing Vader's Villain Decay in the Star Wars prequels was due to him traveling back in time.
• Hitler offering Vader a bath in his shower.
• Vader gets some good swings in too:
  You can't rhyme against the Dark Side of the Force, why even bother?
  So many dudes been with your mom, who even knows if I'm your father?

Abraham Lincoln vs. Chuck Norris

• Abraham Lincoln's abridged version of the Civil War. "Four score, and sixty-five years in the past, I won the Civil War with my beard! Now I'm here to whoop your ass!" Right after that is "I've read up on your facts; you cure cancer with your tears? Well, tell me Chuck, how come you never sat down and cried on your career?"

Sarah Palin vs. Lady Gaga

• "I sound more intelligent than you when I FART!"

The Mega Powers vs. Kim Jong-Il

• "Your body looks like a spray tan banana, with a walrus mustache and a wack bandana!"
• "Your whole fam's a bunch of Barbies, dude!" is probably one of the funniest lines in the show's history.
• "You look like Sonic the Hedgehog's mother!"
• "I'm gonna bounce you like a check for my alimony!
• "All the little Hulksters know/I'll hang you from the ropes like a South Park puppet show!
• "Brother, I'll leg-drop your ass back to Beijing!" "Beijing is in China, you blond asshole!"
• Almost all of the Macho Man's verse counts:
  • "Watch me snap into a Slim Jim Kim-Jong Il!
  • "I don't like to hit little bitches with glasses/But when midgets step up, I stomp midget asses!"
  • "So spend less time rapping, and start feedin' your people!"

Justin Bieber vs. Ludwig von Beethoven

Just how thoroughly outmatched Bieber is; as soon as Beethoven starts rapping, you already know how this is going to turn out.

• Despite being outclassed, Bieber does manage to get a few good shots in:
  • "And now that you're here next to me, I can see why they used a dog to play you in the movies!"
  • When Justin Bieber mentions that he has Kim Kardashian in his bed backstage, Beethoven looks suddenly interested.
  • "I got a concert in five, so there's not much time left! What else can I say? Your own music made you deaf!"
• "I've crafted masterpieces that will last through the ages/your music gets you bitches on your Facebook pages!
• "I'm committing verbal murder in the major third degree! My name is Beethoven, motherfucker, maybe you've heard of me? Not the St. Bernard version, I'm the real OG!"
• "Ask Bach, I've got more cock than Smith & Wesson!" Cue Johann Sebastian Bach popping up for telling us that, yes, it's THAT big.
• And then: "You wanna trade blows? You can't even hit puberty!" Cue Bach popping up again to tell us that it's this small.
• "I would smack you, but in Germany, we don't hit little girls. And I'm glad I'm deaf, so I don't have to hear that piece of shit My World! There's a crowd of millions waiting to hear my symphonies. You wanna be a little white Usher? Here, show 'em to their seats!^note Usher is Bieber's mentor.

Albert Einstein vs. Stephen Hawking

This battle is more awesome than funny, but there are some good laughs:

• "What's with your voice? I can't frickin' tell/you sound like WALL•E having sex with a Speak 'n Spell!
• "I'm as dope as two rappers, you'd better be scared. 'Cause that means Albert E equals M C squared."
• Although it could be seen coming, Stephen Hawking's speech aid basically being an Autotune device.
• "I've got 12-inch rims on my chair, that's how I roll, y'all/you look like someone glued a mustache on a troll doll!"
• Hawking's tablet shows him playing Angry Birds.
• *Death Glare* "There are 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 ^note  10 Undecillion particles in the universe that we can observe/Your momma took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd!"

Genghis Khan vs. The Easter Bunny

• The announcer's sigh before saying the Easter Bunny's name showing just how ridiculous he thinks the idea is.
• Hearing the Easter Bunny call Jesus Christ his "homeboy" is probably humanity's greatest achievement so far.
• Take a look at every single Rap Battle previous to this one and you'll notice they all have definite themes (peace vs. war, Evil Versus Evil, conservative vs. liberal, Megapowers vs superpower, and musician vs musician). Then, somehow, for some inexplicable reason, people wanted to see the completely unrelated Genghis Khan and the Easter Bunny throw down, which led to this battle.
  • Even better, some people did come up with a thematic matchup for why the two met up. A man who reproduced like a rabbit vs an actual rabbit.

Napoleon Bonaparte vs. Napoleon Dynamite

• "Gosh, I can't believe how much of a little bitch you are/when it comes to world leaders, you, like, literally lowered the bar!"
• Dynamyte's Waterloo Part Two line was pretty awesome...which he then immediately spoiled with his fist pump and little 'yes.'
• Ugh! I don't even care like, how many stupid Prussians you've killed/'cause to me, you're just the Emperor of the Lollipop Guild!
• Bonaparte's French line at the start of his second verse is hilarious if you know the translation.
  "Sacrebleu! T'as une tête à faire sauter les plaques d'égouts!"^TranslationHoly heavens! You have a head that can blow off manhole covers!
• "I'm going to shove your moon boots straight up your poop shoot!"
• "You're the only type of dynamite that's never going to bang!"

Benjamin Franklin vs. Billy Mays

• Hi! Billy Mays here with a special TV offer! Watch me crush this bald fat foppish Founding Father!
• "You're just a lumpy pumpkin who invented the mail!" It's the delivery of the line that does it.
• "Benny's got kite and key, but you're in for a shock/when I strike you with bolts, from my lightning-rod cock!"
• "It takes just one easy payment for me to whoop your ass!"
• Vince Offer's verse. "You're gonna love my nuts 'til you're bi-focal-curious!"
  • "Slap-chop your face, make a double-chin salsa!"
  • "It's bad enough I gotta see you every time I tip a stripper!"
• There are a couple Funny Background Events here with Billy Mays. His background says "FREE GIFT" and underneath it in small letters it says "when you order more than you need". The second one is similar; "SUPPLIES LIMITED!" followed by "supplies are not limited".

Gandalf vs. Dumbledore

• The fact that Gandalf begins with "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" is enough to have any Lord of the Rings fan in stitches.
• "How's your little wand going to beat my staff?" Topped by Dumbledore's retort: "Nice staff, you Compensating for Something?"
• "Your ass is like Gringotts: everyone makes a deposit!"

Dr. Seuss vs. William Shakespeare

• Shakespeare's entire first verse is in Iambic Pentameter... something he happily points out to Seuss.
• "And ask 'What light through yonder poser breaks?'"
• Shakespeare randomly calling his opponent "Ye hoebag".
• Shakespeare uses the word "swag." It's so unfitting it becomes hilarious.
  • It gets better when you realize that Shakespeare coined the word "swagger" (and, by extension, "swag").
• Seuss's epic Kubrick Stare + Slasher Smile at the end of Shakespeare's first verse, complete with the latter's epic Oh, Crap! face.
  • Better yet? This was triggered by Shakespeare accusing Seuss of writing the Twilight books.
• "I would not, could not on a boat/read any of the boring-ass plays you wrote!
• "Even Horton doesn't wanna hear you/and Cindy Lou Who is afraid to go near you!"
• "You bore people to death/leave a classroom looking like the end of Macbeth!"
• While the Cat in the Hat is rapping for him, Seuss can be seen doing all sorts of things along with his rhymes, though the crowner has to be him vomiting rainbows out of seasickness during the above "on a boat" line.
• 1+2 = SO MUCH BLOOD
• Shakespeare's entire Motor Mouth verse. It's so unexpected and awesome it becomes funny.
  • Made perfect by the Cat in the Hat and Dr Seuss being struck dumb as a result.
• EVERYTHING about Things 1 and 2. From the Vocal Dissonance to their Axe-Crazy lines, to Seuss pulling a Screw This, I'm Out of Here! just before calling them, to the sheer absuridty of these little munchkin-looking things with Helium Speech and ridiculous costumes rapping in sync about threatening harm to Shakespeare...where else can you find something like that?!
• "Ohhhhh, nooooo! We'll smash your Globe!"
• "Break our foot off in your ass/with our feetie pajamas!"
• "You gettin' upstaged, Bill, yo you just got played!"

Mr. T vs. Mr. Rogers

This sets up like another Curb-Stomp Battle, in the style of the Justin Bieber or Easter Bunny battles, but not in the way you expect...

• Despite getting more and more flustered as the battle goes on, Mr. T gets some good lines in:
  • "You couldn't even beat me in the land of make-believe!"
  • "And nobody gonna miss you/'cause all your friends imaginary!"
  • "Hello? It's for you! Bill Cosby wants his sweater!"
• Mr. Rogers breaking out into breakdance. Out of nowhere.
• "The only gold I keep is on the shelf, in my Emmys."
• "I teach the whole world full of children, I can tell/you call yourself T 'cause you're too dumb to spell."
• "I'm not the one with my face on some wack-ass Captain Crunch."
• "I'll chop you into four black dudes and I'll remake Cool Runnings."
• When Mr. T suggests Mr. Rogers is a pedophile, Mr. Rogers goes weapons-grade Sophisticated as Hell to finish the battle.
  Mr. Rogers: I'll say this once, Lawrence. I hope it's understood. Get right back in your van, and get the fuck outta my neighborhood.

Christopher Columbus vs. Captain Kirk

• "Arrivederci! Imma leave before this battle begins! (Beat) ...cause we both know in the end which of these captains gonna win!" Note that the beat is actually him leaving and then coming back. The music does the same. If your internet connection is slow, you might even be fooled into thinking the rap stopped entirely.
• Captain Kirk rapping. The cadence alone is hilarious.
  I'm the... enterprisingCaptainJames..TiberiusKirkrep...presentingRiversideIowaplanet... Earth.
• "...but that son of a bitch Marco Polo stole it from me."
• The background Kirk in his intro.
• "I'll stick a flag up your ass, and claim you for Spain!"
• Kirk makes a classy shot at Columbus never finding a place he actually set sail for, and then immediately afterwards calls him a "spaghetti eating fuck" out of nowhere. Especially with the Kirk-ified delivery making it come out as "You. Spaghetti eating. Fuck."

NicePeter vs. EpicLLOYD

• Pete's diss at Lloyd's baldness and short stature:

  Nice Peter: You look like a thumb! Where'd you even come from?!?! IT'S LIKE I'M BATTLE RAPPING A FAT VERSION OF GOLLUM!

• Nice Peter and Epic Lloyd look five seconds away from pouting after Nice Peter's final (rapped) line in their battle. Then there's Kassem's appearance.
• There's also humor to be found in Putin threatening to kill Nice Peter in the trailer for Season 2 if he doesn't include a Russian character, then showing up a season later.

Season 2

Darth Vader vs. Adolf Hitler (Round 2)

• EVERYTHING you do is an EPIC FAIL!
  • Now stand at attention, AND SEIG FUCKING HEIL!
• Use some of your force to fix your fucking respirator!
• You got one bitch pregnant, then gave into the hate! Now you're 6'6 and black but can't get a date!
• Lightsaber? You need a Life Saver!
• The hilariously awkward pause when Vader says "Suck on deez!" before a Stormtrooper interrupts to clarify, only for Vader to later finish with "Deez robot nuts!" For reference: Vader's previous line was "I'm a certified Sith Lord, you runt!" so it's not hard to guess what he almost went with.

Master Chief vs. Leonidas

• It was inevitable, really...

  Leonidas: This! Is! SPARTA! [kicks MC into a pit]

• Master Chief refering to Leonidas as 'Fabio Flinstone'.
• Leonidas kicks Master Chief down a hole at the end of his first verse. Even the music cuts out and there is a good four seconds of silence while MC just flips head over heels and vanishes. once again it's easy to mistake for the rap finishing suddenly.
• Queen Gorgo's mild shrug which seemingly confirms that Master Chief did indeed show her his plasma cannon.
• This line:

  Master Chief: Your whole plan got messed up by a hunchback with Down Syndrome!

• Leonidas stating "Ha! I've had better fights with my six year old son!". Right next to him is a small, super imposed EpicLloyd in a diaper, waving his hands in the air and making angry faces.
  • EpicLloyd as Leonidas's 6-year-old son is generally a walking Funny Background Event. In the last section of his second verse, where Leonidas mocks Master Chief that he's "too much of a bitch to show [his] face", a diaper-wearing Lloyd casually strolls over to his "dad"'s shoulders and flexes his muscles in a hilariously cheesy pose.
• "Cortana says you're Greek, so why don't you stick these lyrics up your ass?"

The Wright Brothers vs. The Mario Brothers

• Luigi needs to watch his language:
  Mario: It's-a me, Mario!
  Luigi: AND LUIGI, MOTHA-*bling*!
• "Representing North Carolina, aiiight!"
• From the Behind-the-Scenes of the Wright Brothers vs. Mario Brothers: I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE!
  • Also the opening, with Mario attempting to Eat His Gun over Princess Peach's yammering.

Michael Jackson vs. Elvis Presley

• Elvis stuffing his face with sandwiches to transform into Fat Elvis, and opening his second verse with "You're a creeper, dude! You like to grab your own wanger!" "I only let you marry my daughter/cause I knew you'd never bang her!"
• From the Behind the Scenes, Nice Peter's jokes about the make-up he needs to look like Michael Jackson.
  Nice Peter: We're making a white man, whiter.
  • Also:
    Elvis: Hey, Michael...
    MJ: I do NOT do heroin! Hey! Hey somebody—Cops! Cops!
    Elvis: Uhhh I gotta go! (sheepishly tries to run out the door)
• Michael's "Ooh! It's about time for a Thriller / Didn't lose any chocolate, I just added vanilla" and "Whoopin' your big fat ass with my shiny glove"
• "I can tell that you're angry but I just can't comprehend it/I stole from black culture, why are you offended?"
• Michael using "hee-hee" of all terms as an Unusual Euphemism.
• Elvis' last verse:
  Elvis: I'm out
  Before you try to grab me and free your willy
  Later, weirdo
  Elvis is leavin' the building!

Cleopatra vs. Marilyn Monroe

• The look on Monroe's face as she removes her earrings. It's perhaps the closest a rapper has come to starting a physical battle.
  • "Translate this into hieroglyphs: Your sandy vagina has a seven-year itch!" ^note Sand dunes, point-down triangle, outline of crab.
• Cleopatra's first line of her second first:
  You still got no children after your third marriage
  You lost so many babies, we should call you Miss Carriage.

Bill Gates vs. Steve Jobs

• Steve: "Let me bring up some basic shit, why'd you name your company after your dick?"^{Don't get it?}"Microsoft"; think about that for a second...
• Bill Gates, after his first verse against Steve Jobs, becomes hilariously calm and nonchalant while Steve gets more and more frustrated.
• EPIC DANCE BATTLES OF HISTOH-REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH
• At the final scene, we have Gates and Jobs doing a little dance, after which the two old guys have to hobble in pain because they injured their hip/back.
• Behind the Scenes:
  Gates: Let's see, Doritos, Cheetos, Fritos... Ah! Heroin! There we go!

Frank Sinatra vs. Freddie Mercury

• Behind the Scenes of Frank Sinatra vs Freddie Mercury. The perils of recording parts of lyrics:
  (I'm the champion of the world) WORLD!
  (Extinguished in my prime) PRIME!
  (So kiss my ass, Frankie) ASS!
  "WORLD PRIME ASS!"
  "Sounds like a steak..."
• Epic Lloyd's ping-pong antics (while dressed in costume, no less!) right at the end of the video. He just says "Point, Sinatra" every time he hits the ball, regardless of whether or not he won. At the last round:
  "That your girlfriend back there?" "Yeah." "Next point wins her, GO!" "Wait, what!?" "Point, Sinatra."
  • And the stinger:
    "You're comin' with me baby, let's get some heroin and blow this pop stand."

Barack Obama vs. Mitt Romney

• Barack Obama's expression as Abraham Lincoln chews him out.
• "Of the people, by the people, for the people, EAGLE!"
• Obama and Romney's battle essentially going from rapping to childish name-calling.
  Romney: You're a stuttering communist!
  Obama: Oh yeah? Well, you're stupid.
  Romney: You're stupid!
  (both of them growl at each other)
• At the end of Romney's first verse, it looks like he's... really going for distance on that kick.
• "Republicans need a puppet and you fit, got their hands so far up your rear, call you Mitt!"

Doc Brown vs. Doctor Who (10th/4th Doctor)

• Doc Brown summoning the Dalek. The face he makes and the words he says are what really make it hilarious.
  Doc Brown: You don't get another turn to debate! Time to face your permanent fate! Now, da-lick my balls!
  Dalek: Exterminate!
• And this line is gold:
  Doc: Despite all your companions, you couldn't be having less sex!
  I don't know what's lamer: your fans, or your special effects!
  • During this line, the TARDIS flies past in the background, but at the very end of this appearance, you can see the hand dangling the miniature.
• As the 10th Doctor dies and turns into the 4th while still rapping and making a callback to a joke from Back to the Future itself:
  Prepare...to meet...your...(turns into 4th Doctor) Density! Ha ha ha ha!
• And this exchange:
  4th Doctor: Cause you're a pitiful hillbilly hanging with an oedipal kid who's a bawk bawk chicken!
  Marty McFly: Nobody calls me chicken! (Epic Riff)

Bruce Lee vs. Clint Eastwood

• Clint Eastwood falls victim to a Hong Kong Dub in the middle of his first verse.
• Bruce Lee dribbles a ninja's head like a speedbag. The look on his face while he does this is pure gold.

Batman vs. Sherlock Holmes

• From Batman's overtly serious rhymes to Holmes' Sophisticated as Hell attitude.
• What exactly does the Dark Knight open up the battle with?
  Batman: Nice hat, dork. You look like a duck.
• During Robin's verse, Batman's reactions to his sidekick's rapping in the background. First he just does a kind of "what the hell?" shrug, then looks at his wrist like he's waiting for Robin to finish.
• Robin's reaction after Batman throws down a smoke bomb to get away from him.
• Watson's reaction to Holmes' last line.

Moses vs. Santa Claus

• "I've read your book, you've got a strict religion. No bacon? But mandatory circumcision?" The elves' reaction to the lack of bacon seals the deal.
• Moses' first line: "When I was high on the mountaintop, God revealed the truths of the Earth, but he never mentioned a fatass Papa Smurf."
• "We ain't slaves, all that sand's turned your brains to mush!" "I think you need to stop smoking all that burning bush!" Santa's baritone, especially on the last two words, makes this one.
• Moses gets a fantastic dig at Santa's weight: "It takes nine reindeer to haul your fat ass, you took the 'Christ' out of 'Christmas' and just added mo' mass!"

Adam vs. Eve

Martin Luther King vs. Mahatma Gandhi

• The delicious word-plays:
  King: No shoes, no shirt, but I'm still gonna serve ya. / Make you swallow your words so you can break the fast / Then thank God Almighty you can eat at last!
  King: Flatten your style like bread. / Naan violence.
  Gandhi: You would know about bread, Dr. Birmingham Sandwich. / Boycott those grits / Sit in with some spinach!
• MLK's other dream: "I admire the way you broke the British power, but I have a dream that one day you'll take a shower!"
• Gandhi taking a dig at MLK's personal life:
  "With protests and women, the same advice goes: always stay away from the hose^note or "hoes" depending on which meaning you're going for."
• The ending involves King enthusiastically hugging Gandhi to forcibly forgive him, but Gandhi is clearly not interested and slides down through King's arms, stopping by his ear long enough to whisper his last lines:
  Gandhi: I am passively resisting the fact that you suck. / I am celibate because I don't give a fuuuuuuuuuuck.
  • To some people, it looks more like he's about to give MLK a blowjob.
  • MLK affectionately referring to Gandhi as "nigga." If there was any Black person you'd never expect to use that word in it's "brotherly" way, it'd be him.

Thomas Edison vs. Nikola Tesla

• Thomas Edison saying that he's "so dope that I even make New Jersey look good".
• Tesla has some:
  History is being rewritten, and I have Reddit.
  So you can call me Tesla, Nikola, impeccably dressed.
  You did not steal from ME, you stole ME from MANKIND!

Babe Ruth vs. Lance Armstrong

• Mean-spirited though it might be, Armstrong's opening line where he says that Ruth will be the "second fat woman to hear my confession" is a pretty solid burn.
• "You lived strong, beat cancer! Congratulations! Now I'll drop your ass faster than your own foundation!"
• "It's the bottom of the ninth against the Texan in a bathing suit filled with more artificial ingredients than a Baby Ruth..."
• "You're out! With three strikes, and just one ball!"

Amadeus Mozart vs. Skrillex

• Just the fact that Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart vs. Skrillex exists.
• The whiny voice that EpicLLOYD gives Skrillex, making him sound exactly like the talentless punk so many people assume he is.
• Just how contemptuous Mozart is — it's like he takes offense to Skrillex even being called a musician; and considering that this is a world-famous genius-level musician rapping against... well, Skrillex, he probably is.
  You go from piano to fortississimo
  That means 'soft' to 'very very loud' because I'M GUESSING THAT YOU DIDN'T KNOW!
• And this line from Mozart:
  What kind of drugs does it take to enjoy this?! I've no idea! I've seen more complexity in a couch from IKEA!
  • Considering that Mozart in real life, knew how to party and has done all kinds of drugs, even he doesn't know what drugs to take to truly enjoy Skrillex's music.
• Skrillex is no slouch either:
  Your daddy issues make The Jackson 5 look like The Family Circus!

Rasputin vs. Josef Stalin

• Rasputin's dance when he says "Big Dick Mystic."
• Stalin going all Ax-Crazy and threatening to shoot all of Rasputin's family, all his wizard friends and anyone who sold him pierogi.
• Despite Stalin's claim he was the 'Pride of Lenin', cue Lenin himself showing up and saying ''I have no pride for you..!''
• The Call-Back to Obama vs Romney. First, Lenin interrupts both sides to reprimand them. Doesn't really seem all that fresh, until Gorbachev drops by as well, leading in with a dinky little tune that wouldn't sound out of place in a day care center. Now, the gag gets funny again, but it's when Putin drops by, shirtless, stoic, and generally sounding uninterested does the viewer realize the battle was derailed in the most hilarious way possible.
  • Lenin rhyming right hand man with...right hand, man. And Stalin looks at his right hand with a "Wait, what?" expression.
    • And no wonder... Lenin got the wrong hand. Stalin's right hand was perfectly normal, but his left arm was shorter than his right.
    • Lenin has the funniest expression with that line; huge, wide eyes, like he's freaked out by Stalin's hand.◊
    • in the same vein, another hilarious one occurs in the background a second or so earlier; Rasputin's reaction to the First-Name Ultimatum delivered against Stalin.
  • "I fought the bondage of classes/the proletariat masses/have brought me here to spit a thesis against both of your asses!"
• Both times somebody says "Did somebody say..." ("Birthmarks" and "Real power")
• The Mood Whiplash that is Gorbachev: "I shook hands with both Ronalds, Reagan and McDonald's."
• The cameo appearance of PewDiePie, which Pewdie had foreshadowed in a video and gotten viewers hyped up for? It's him as Mikhail Baryshnikov, dressed in a unitard and dancing. Made even funnier by Mikhail Gorbachev, of all people, saying he "had the balls to let Baryshnikov dance, playa!" While scratching his crotch.
• Putin is quite easily the least physically energetic rapper in the series so far (excluding Stephen Hawking and HAL 9000) and it is hilarious when coupled with his deep, loud voice. Not to mention the fact that he sings his lines in this incredible dramatic baritone.
• This line is the solid gold breadwinner of the entire season:
  Gorbachev: Tore down that wall like the Kool-Aid Man! OH YEAH!
• Rasputin dancing to the music when Gorbachev says, "You two need yoga, you need a shower!"
• The simple fact that the creepy, hoarse, Kubrick Staring Rasputin opens fire on Stalin over a tense beat with "Cool moustache, Wario."
• Gorbachev's line aimed at all of his opponents, retroactively including Putin: "If your name ends with 'in', time to get out!"

Season 3

Darth Vader vs. Adolf Hitler (Round 3)

• "SCREW YOU, YOU BIG BLACK CUNT!"
• Darth Vader calls in Boba Fett to finish his rap. He headbangs along to the entire verse looking like he's really enjoying the whole thing.
  • Meanwhile Hitler recoils at first, and then raises his gun with a Slasher Smile. Boba is abruptly blown away mid line, and Vader's sudden surprised act just sells the whole moment. Really, the sheer range of expression they got out of a guy in a non-expressive helmet is a CMOA.
  • Also, Hitler's Villainous Breakdown after Vader mocked him as a Real Life General Failure, and on top of that tried to snub his battle by sending in Boba Fett. He simply stops rapping, and instead spews nothing but childish threats:
    "OH, SIEG HELL NO! You're not gonna cheat me, Mr. Sunglasses-All-The-Time'! I'll take you and your new boyfriend Goofy and all your spermy soldier guys and throw YOU in a butthole in the sand! I AM ADOLF-!!!"
    (is sliced in half by Vader's Lightsaber)
    "(suddenly squeaky) ...Hitler..."
• In the beginning, instead of a swastika, it's a middle finger.

Al Capone vs. Blackbeard

• The fact that Edward Kenway makes a cameo is both this and a CMOA. Considering who gave the ERB crew a boat to use for the video, it's a nice little thank you to them.
• "...Well you're a huge dick." Just the way he said it.
• "Rhymes so hard they call me Al (music stops for a beat) Dente".
• "I mean that rat's nest beard's trapped so many crumbs, this bum could get marooned and still eat lunch for a month!" Just that line can get anyone's imagination rolling to the extent it's so disgusting it's hilarious

Joan of Arc vs. Miley Cyrus

• Pretty much everything about Miley's characterization. She's a perfect embodiment of the catty, annoying, untalented slut that she's constantly stereotyped as. And it is hilarious!
• Joan of Arc telling Miley that "(her) highest calling was a text from Wiz Khalifa", mocking both Miley's irreverence and Wiz's addiction.
• Joan calling Miley a ratchet skank.

Bob Ross vs. Pablo Picasso

• "You're the PBS version of Niiiiiiiiickleback," delivered in Chad Kroeger's signature groan.
• At one point, Picasso draws a giant middle finger in the background.
• Picasso looks down and says, "I could make better art with my weiner...Lump," followed by him holding up his weiner dog.
• For the artists in the audience, Bob's first verse comes with a couple of extremely funny art jokes:
  Your work is melancholic; I'm painting happy little trees; Call me Jackson Pollock, because I splatter MC's.
  • And then this gem:
    I'll twist you up like you're a Rubik's cubist!.
  • Pablo promptly responds with Don't use that word like you KNOW what it is!.
• Picasso uses his Overly Long Name in a rap... And it works.
  • "Back. To. You. Bob."
• Bob Ross ends his by saying, "Yo Pablo, you just got your happy little ass beat."
• Bob Ross opens his second verse speaking with pride and patriotism about his military career... then does a goofy little dance.

Michael Jordan vs. Muhammad Ali

• You used to float like a butterfly, sting like a bee / now you double-dribble balls that nobody can see!
• "You should let the Fresh Prince do your rapping for you. (Swish!)"
• "Your whole basketball career turned whack / When you came back a wizard like Gandalf the Black!"
• "Cause your rapping sucks more than Space Jam did!"

Ebenezer Scrooge vs. Donald Trump

• "I do not believe in ghosts and I don't believe that hair!"
• "You should have made like Sebastian and kissed de girl!" Because who expected a Little Mermaid reference from these guys?
• At the end of the video, Scrooge was about to say Tiny Tim's closing line, but is soon cut off by the announcer.
  Scrooge: God bless us every-
  "WHO WON?"
• Donald Trump calling his ex-wife ugly and compares Scrooge to his wife in a bikini since they're both disgusting.
• While the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come is otherwise the biggest Knight of Cerebus in the series, his appearance gives us this gem. "Boo." "AAH!"
  • Yes, the nonchalant way he says "You're gonna die!" is scary as fuck. It's also funny as hell.
• "I got my own f***g problems"
• Kanye West as the Ghost of Christmas Present. Really, who saw that coming?

Rick Grimes vs. Walter White

• Yep, even in a rap battle, Rick has to yell at Carl to stay inside.
  CARL!
• "You look up to me like I'm a pizza on the roof!"
• "I'll be standing right here, in my tighty Walter Whities"
• Blink and you'll miss it: after Walter distracts a walker with a bag of meth, in his last shot you can see the same walker tweaking in the background. He got a dead man high.
• "No one saw Shane coming, except for your wife."
• From the BTS video, Peter tells Lloyd that the heroin joke did not make it. What the follows is an extremely melodramatic funeral for the joke with the walkers mourning and Lloyd crying.
• Walter keeps making loud throat noises. While that's a little funny in and of itself, it's all the funnier due to the fact that it sounds like he has a phlegm problem.

Superman vs. Goku

• Superman's first diss:
  Who can stop this constipated jock
  With the awful animation^note At this point, a third, overly large arm extends out of Superman's chest and punches Goku away and the complicated plot?
• "Your rapping is weaker than your fight scenes: just one punch - and OVER NINE THOUSAND SCREAMS!"
• "I'll make your nose bleed like Roshi sniffing panties!"
• This line comes up that would not be out of place in =3.
  Look at those panties (Oh!)
  You got that camel(toe!)
  I'll report to Lois Lane
  And Superman that (ho!)
• Superman flies off after his second verse and ignores Goku until he says that Supes "Got his ass beat by a bat with no powers." Superman turns around to fight after making a face that says Oh no you didn't...
• The battle ends with perhaps the nastiest joke ever cracked on the series:
  ''There's only one way this battle's gonna end; one more Superman who's never gonna walk again!.

Stephen King vs. Edgar Allan Poe

• King putting as many Puns about his work as he can into the Battle.
  Feel that Rage and Misery,
  You better start Running, Man, You're in deep poo Poe,
  I'm a mad dog, Fangs Shining, Cujo
  Tommyknock you down, till you can't Stand up
• Stephen King ends the rap battle... by saying "Never more" in the sort of tone a raven would use when imitating human speech.
• Upon saying "Your books are as eerie as Beverly Cleary", Edgar Allan Poe gets Puppy-Dog Eyes, complete with a Slasher Smile.
• "I see through you like pantyhose!"
• Edgar Allan Poe's melancholy dancing in the background. It's the sour expression and that's he's looking at the ground that really sells it. Plus his pose during King's "Perving on your first cousin when she's thirteen years old?" line.

Sir Isaac Newton vs. Bill Nye

• Newton's First Line:
  Of all the scientific minds in history,
  they put Beaker in a bow tie up against ME?
• Newton's dance on "When I start flowing I stay in motion."
• Bill Nye's walk after his line, "hitting my stride," is quite humorous.
• During Neil deGrasse Tyson's closing verse, Bill Nye's movements are nothing short of hilarious.
  • Almost every movement in this battle is a funny background event. Apart from the above examples with Nye, we have Newton pushing himself out of the way, and later sharing a verse with one of his doubles, who also nods an agreement with his own lines. Finally, when Neil deGrasse Tyson appears out of Newton's equation, Newton slowly turns sideways as he notices with a rather downplayed Oh, Crap! reaction.
  • "We got a badass over here!"
• From the BTS, Chali 2na's poignant description of his son's reaction.

George Washington vs. William Wallace

• George's dance when he says "A Mel Gibson movie is your legacy."
• When William calls out George for whipping all his clothes "out of slave black folks", we briefly see George give a mischievous little "you're right, it was worth it" type shrug.
• That ridiculous dance from one of George's troops.
• William's very first line:
  Look at you! In your little blousy outfit!
  Looking like a stiffer white dick than your Monument!
• After Washington claims that Scotland's only famous for golf and haggis, Wallace returns fire with this:
  "Don't tee off with me, laddy! If you held my balls you couldn't be my caddy!"

Renaissance Artists vs. TMNT

• The turtles' verses are chock full of hilarity.
  • Leonardo mimicking a helicopter,
  • Raphael referring to himself as a "cool but rude guy", like in the 1987 cartoon theme song.
  • Donatello's Gattamelata pun.
• The face Artist!Raphael makes in his title card. It's exactly what you would expect from Anthony.
• The first words out of Artist!Leonardo's mouth are hilariously out of place.
  "Cowabunga, dude."
• Apparently Artist!Donatello found enough time to make and put the finishing touches on Gattamelata during the Turtles' verse.
• "You wouldn't know genius if it pissed in your sewer!"
• If Artist!Raphael's "Deemed dope by the Pope and I boned till I croaked" line doesn't make you laugh, him crossing himself before going for a pelvic thrust will.
• "We got the talent, and the minds, and the rhymes so sweet/We're like your NES game, 'cause we can't be beat!"
• Michaelangelo (Turtle)'s line: "You guys draw more dicks than New York Pride!"

Season 4

Ghostbusters vs. Mythbusters

• Jamie being The Stoic in contrast to Adam. No Sense of Personal Space moments included. Then, even better, him dancing alongside Adam with the same deep voice and cold expression.
• Janine's three-word cameo- " WE GOT ONE!" It comes out of nowhere but fits perfectly.
• Egon's three lines in the first verse (with Winston's Shout-Out from the movie!)
  Egon: I collect spores.
  Winston: Tell him about the Twinkie.
  Egon: Like your show, it's all fluff and filler. I'll kick your hiney, man— I'm a savage killer.
• The first lines out of the Mythbusters and their unexpected Shout-Out:
  Adam: Wow, your raps are just too wack to handle!
  Jamie: Let's do it like we do on the Discovery Channel.
• When talking about a "safety switch", Adam and Jamie do pelvic thrusts.
• Pausing at just the right moment reveals this◊ Freeze-Frame Bonus of Adam's face
• "That's enough from the walrus and Dickless the Clown!"
• Grant says they "come harder than Ray when that ghost popped his cherry". Next scene we see is Ray being held back by the other Ghostbusters.
• Tory fails to think of a rhyme and just goes "Uhhhh..."
  Jamie: ...why'd you stop?
  Tory: I couldn't think of a rhyme!
  Adam: Well just say the first thing that pops into your mind.
  Ghostbusters: (waving their arms back and forth in a "NO NO NO!" fashion)
  • And given what follows, this is actually one of the funniest instances of Nice Job Breaking It, Hero.
• The faces on the Ghostbusters as Adam tells Tory to say the first thing that pops into his mind— while the Mythbusters, who don't believe in ghosts, don't know where that kind of thing goes, the Ghostbusters are perfectly aware, and are proven right when Stay Puft shows up to the fight.
• This bit as Stay Puft shows up:
  Stay Puft: Yo, raise up! It's Stay Puft, I stay fluff! Blaze chumps and flip Kari butterside up!
  Kari: (highly pissed off) Hey!
  Stay Puft: I smother Ghostbusters in fluffernutter, I don't play; show these dweebs how to rock a beret!
  Jamie: (kind of a little bit irritated) Hey.
• The fact that Stay Puft's voice is a dead on impression of Biggie Smalls.

Bonnie and Clyde vs. Romeo and Juliet

• Everybody dies. We probably should have seen this coming.
• Romeo promises to lie on his stomach so Bonnie and Clyde can lick his ass. Later, we see his corpse with his butt raised in the air, and Juliet screams about Romeo having poison on his face even though she can only see his backside. That's quite some mileage out of one joke about behinds.
• The Announcer's absolutely lost reaction at the end of the battle; instead of a boisterous "WHO WON?!" it's this softer and confused "who won...?"
• The poison line is priceless in and of itself, especially with how it's suddenly just SCREAMED.
  Juliet: Where's Romeo? OH NOMEO! There's poison on your face!
• Bonnie making light of Mercutio's death at the hands of John Leguizamo.
• Bonnie and Clyde's reaction to Romeo and Juliet killing themselves.
  Clyde: Well that was tragic.
  Bonnie: That did not go as expected.
  Clyde: Would have done that boy some good to just wait a couple seconds.
  Bonnie: It's kinda sad though, really, so young, to have just died...
  Clyde: Well, at least we got each other.
  Bonnie: Just Bonnie...
  Clyde: And- (RATATATATATAT)
• Nice Peter attempts a horrible English accent and Grace Helbig barely even tries to do one most of the time. It ends up being hilarious.
• There's something incredibly hilarious about the combination of Shakespearean insults combined with more modern cracks.
  Romeo: Do you quarrel, sir? Ho, should I draw my longsword, or will you duck your chicken-shit ass back into your Ford?
  Juliet: A moment break from your gaze is an eternity past, so together we shall both put these bitches on blast!
• How Bonnie perks up after Clyde says they'll rob R&J blind. Outlaw Couple, ladies and gentlemen!
• The Meta humour of Grace Helbig and Hannah Hart, who are great friends in real life threatening to kill each other is pretty funny. You can imagine they both had a blast with filming.
• Juliet's first solo verse is straight savagery.
  And you there, wench with the neck of a chicken,
  You'll get an ass-rippin' worse than your boyfriend's in prison!
  You're not a true romance. You're just a conjugal visit.
  Oh, but that's not even your real husband now, is it?
  • After Bonnie shot Juliet:
    Oh, I am killed! What irony is this?
    The lead role shot down by a failed actress…

Zeus vs. Thor

• This is a battle between two thunder gods...depicted in the medium of Lego bricks. "Rhymes colder than the frosty balls of your giants" are hilariously wrong when the characters are basically made of children's toys.
• When Thor knocks the Jotun off the rainbow bridge it lets out the Wilhelm Scream.
  • The BTS shows that they actually molded a pair of testicles for the Jotun for the sake of Zeus's "frosty balls of your giants" line and so that Thor would have something to hit.
• Zeus talks up Greece's historical accomplishments. Thor later retorts:
  Thor: I'll drop you like Greece's GDP!
• Zeus tells Thor "Loki must've written your lines!" Loki's reaction suggests he did.
• We may have found the most disgustingly hilarious mythology joke ever told:
  Thor: (to Zeus) Now make like your daddy, AND SWALLOW MY BABIES!
• The end of Thor's first verse:
  Thor: I'd spit in your face, but you'd probably like it!
• One of the Olympians accompanying Zeus is actually Bombur.^note Well, Word of God says it's supposed to be Bacchus, the god of wine, and most of the characters in this battle are made of bits and pieces from licensed LEGO sets, but the Bombur beard is particularly noticeable and funny.
• When Zeus brings up astronomy, the star chart in the sky shows the usual ones like Leo, Cancer and Sagittarius, the lesser-known but legit rabbit constellation, along with giant sunglasses, what looks like Pharell Williams' hat, the duck from "The Duck Song", young Simba, and Forrest Fire's (the animator of this battle) big "F" logo.
• What's going on in the background of Asgard? We have waving pennants, a sword being forged, and Loki happily spending the whole battle doing a silly dance.
• "And tell your three-headed bitch I said hi!" Cue Cerberus barking.

Jack The Ripper vs. Hannibal Lecter

• Hannibal tells Jack to shut up about himself in a very...blunt fashion.
  Hannibal: Quit jacking off on the track and 'put the lotion in the basket!
• For an otherwise dark battle, this line is very out of place.
  Hannibal: The thought of your putrid flesh makes me want to shiver, cause your British body's covered in more piss than kitty litter!
• Hannibal works quite a few Breaking Speeches into his raps. One of the funnier ones is after Jack brings up the 7/7 London bombings at the end of his second verse.
  Hannibal: No, no, Jack! You were doing fine, until your ham-fisted attempt at a terrorist line!
• One of the anachronisms of the rap, courtesy of Jack's first line:
  Jack: Oi, mate! Pass the liquor! It's Jack the Ripper! Jack the rapper, following you way before the dawn of Twitter!

Oprah Winfrey vs. Ellen DeGeneres

• The little mitten ditty Epic Lloyd does in the BTS video. He's out and about in a snowy forest, complaining about the winter chill and claiming the "frosty LA has his hand tootsies chilly." Each detail begins with a "What?!" and the mitten details pile up...until he finds out that the "snowy forest" isn't real.
  Epic Lloyd: What? None of this is real?!
• The battle was uploaded earlier than usual on release day... with a description that shows how exhausted the ERB team was at the time of release.
  Hi.
  It's late.
  Lauren Flans.
  November Christine.
  rap.
  -p&l
• The announcer, post battle:
  Who won? Who's next? You decide! You decide! You decide! You decide! You decide!
  • More comments show up as the announcer keeps continuing, most of them aren't for the battle, and some of them aren't even suggestions for battles. Including:
    WIFI VS BLUETOOTH
    Thanksgiving vs. Christmas
    sir mix a lot vs. hello kitty
    how i meeth your mother vs. the big bang theory
    Jjjjj
    Marshmelo
    Actually its not so bad

Steven Spielberg vs. Alfred Hitchcock vs. Quentin Tarantino vs. Stanley Kubrick vs. Michael Bay

• Throughout the whole song, every verse makes at least one Take That! at Michael Bay. So for the last verse, Bay shows up to fire back.
  Spielberg: I rock the Academy, and the DGA; you rock as many Oscars as that schlep, Michael Bay!
  Hitchcock: My skill is enormous, orchestrate brilliant performance; you're more horrible than Megan Fox's acting in Transformers!
  Tarantino: Due to War of the Worlds, a failure's what I label you; it looked like some sellout bullshit Michael Bay would do!
  Kubrick: Like Clockwork, make you all hurt; beat Spielberg The Color Purple! A.I. is the worst waste of potential since the Ninja Turtles!
  Bay: That's enough! I've heard enough crap from all of you! Why don't I come down there and show you what a real star can do?
• Spielberg tells Hitchcock to "kiss his full moon" while pulling down his pants and turning around. Hitchcock then dismisses his verse as a "close encounter of the turd kind".
• Right before the line above: Spielberg claims that Hitchcock 'produce Jimmy Stewart making one of two faces', briefly flashing a backwards V-sign as he does so.
• Michael Bay rides in on a helicopter at sunset, one of the things that constantly shows up in his works]], and is extremely blatant about what motivates him.
  Bay: If there's one thing that I've learned, bitch, this game is about MOTHERFUCKING MONEY!
  Bay: I MAKE THAT DOLLAR, Y'ALL! MOTHERFUCKING MONEY!
  Bay: EVEN MAKE MARK WAHLBERG MAKE SOME MOTHERFUCKING MONEY!^note Any movie that grosses more than 5× its budget worldwide should qualify as having made a massive amount of money.
• Bay's profile close-ups are ridiculous even with everything else going on with him.
• Bay's introduction: low angle, slow motion, camera spinning around him as he rises. In other words, a Michael Bay-esque shot so perfect you can't help but laugh.
• Bay's line: I ain't got that guilt money, I don't give a fuck! I take my checks to the bank and I sign 'em with my nuts!
• Hitchcock breakdancing. The very idea is a gutbuster, but you get to watch him do it. And he is awesome. Even apart from the breakdancing, Hitchcock's entire verse is full of awesomely funny moves.
• When Tarantino calls War of the Worlds "sellout bullshit Michael Bay would do," Spielberg's looks like he's about to object, but then make a "Yeah, I guess you're right" expression. His opening lines as well:
  Tarantino: CUT. Gimme a Tylenol
  Stop rhyming, y'all
  Alfred, you've got no style, dawg;
  I'm the King of Dialogue
  There's only one movie that I know you from
  And I've seen more blood in the shower when I stubbed my toe in one
• Spielberg clasping his arms together and waddling.
• Tarantino pretending to check his watch while waiting through Kubrick's verse.

Lewis and Clark vs. Bill and Ted

• Both the lines as well as Ted^note goofy grin and Bill^note depressed frown's reaction to them makes this particular moment hilarious.
  Clark: Did you hear that, Meriwether?
  Lewis: I think they mean to brawl!
  Clark: I'll take Neo.
  Lewis: I'll take the one that no one knows at all!
• Who'd've thought they'd ever hear Rhett & Link call someone a dickweed?
• Sacagawea wrestling a bear and killing it.
• Lewis and Clark compare the tiny fish they caught... and Sacagawea just rolls her eyes and holds up her huge fish!
• Lewis and Clark threaten to walk all over Bill and Ted, but that's not all:
  Lewis and Clark: Then give 'em back a whole stack of maps and accurate charts
  Showing exactly where our footprints on their buttocks are marked!
• Picturing Bill and Ted as Companions is hilarious.
  "You're worthless, your future selves should have told you that! Now go back in time and give Doctor Who his phone booth back!"
• This battle marks a rare occasion where the opponents agree on something: Bill's stepmom is hot.
• When Ted says, "I've heard better insults dropped from Socrates' anus," Socrates walks by in the background, stops in concern, and fans his own behind.

Harry Houdini vs. David Copperfield

• Criss Angel tries to join the rap battle, only to be immediately rebuffed:
  Houdini: And you can't hide shame with a camera angle.
  Criss Angel: Did somebody say Angel?
  Houdini: No.
  Criss Angel: (dejected) Oh. (floats off screen)
• This line from Houdini:
  Houdini: Eh, your hack of a Bob Saget-y act is embarassing.
  You're the saddest thing to happen to Magic since The Gathering!

Robocop vs. The Terminator

• There's a bit of Freeze-Frame Bonus hilarity in the battle. Robocop's directives at one point appear as thus:
  PRIME DIRECTIVES
  1: Serve the Public trust.
  2: Maximize blood squibs
  3: Defeat all sucker Emcees
  • Then in a later moment Robocop repeats the famous "secret Prime Directive" moment from the movie, but with a twist:
    4: CLASSIFIED.
    Robocop: OCP gave me the skills to wreck this, I can't help if I'm fresh, It's my Prime Directive!
    PRIME DIRECTIVE: BE FRESH AS FUCK
• Similarly, we briefly see the T-800's interface as he analyzes his enemy:
  MULTIPLE TARGETS ACQUIRED
  Spread Pattern — Predictable
  Tag line — Limp delivery
  Firepower — Cool in the 80's, maybe^note Also an allusion to a line in "Bruce Lee vs. Clint Eastwood".
  Analysis: WEAK
• During The Terminator's first verse, he claims that Robocop's balls were left off during his reconstruction. Then, he does a pitch-perfect impersonation of Murphy's wife
  Terminator: (as Ellen Murphey) "I still love you, Alex." (As himself) BULLSHIT!!!! Your sex life is terminated!
• Most fans notice that, for some reason, Peter's Robocop voice sounds like an auto-tuned Joe Swanson.
• The Terminator's facial expressions while rapping are nothing short of hilarious. Especially "Based on my detailed analysis of the lyrical structure of battle raps, it's time for your next shit verse, and then…I'll be back!"

Philosophers East vs. West

• When the Western philosophers start squabbling, Sun Tzu can be seen creeping up and spying on them, as well as peeking around a corner, evoking this old meme. Not to mention him practically dancing up behind them a la man-with-chair◊ to take a picture while Voltaire's trying to get Socrates to lay off of Nietzsche.
• Similar to the surprising Ludacris reference in "Superman vs. Goku", when Lao Tzu gets angry when Sun Tzu insults him:
  Lao Tzu: Oh, you don't want to stand in the path of Lao Tzu today. I'll make you move, bitch. Get out the way!
• Voltier's last verse is a pun-laden Badass Boast. It's also surprisingly awesome wordplay.
  "Let me be frank: don't start beef with the Frank, who hangs with B. Franks givin' ladies beef franks!"
• Voltaire's shocked reaction when Confucius insults his "egg noodle hair".
  • Same to Nietzsche's look of embarrassment when Confucius asks if God died of shame when he made his mustache.
• The ending has lots of these:
  • The teams completely fall apart and start infighting near the end; a first in the series.
  • Nietzsche throws up his hands and storms off in a huff, and Lao Tzu and Sun Tzu start yanking on Confucius' beard.
  • Even the narrator is shocked! (And bonus points for his flubbing making it sound like he's putting forth philosophical questions.)
    Narrator: (instead of his usual outro) What. Is. Winning? Who. Is. Next?
  • Even more so, The Narrator gets so annoyed at their loud squabbling that he even interrupts his own Signing-Off Catchphrase just to tell them to shut up.
    Narrator: Epic... QUUIIIEEEET!!!... RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
• Confucius's final line deserves mention for sounding like he's quoting himself while simultaneously grabbing his junk when saying it.
  Confucius: Confucius say you can all hold these fortune cooooookies!
  • Also, the ridiculous facial expressions he makes both here and in his silent closeup.
• The point where the eastern philosophers start infighting:
  Sun Tzu: I have turned them on themselves, their chaos is our opportunity!!
  Lao Tzu: We must remember, a bowl is most useful when it is empty.
  Sun Tzu: (UGGH!! Laozi, I don't mean no disrespect, but you need to fill your bowl with some shit that makes some sense!
  • Doubly hilarious that Sun Tzu sounds exactly like a typical Chinese teenager getting into their fight with their elders.
    • Triply hilarious since Sun Tzu missed Laozi's point, that being that if the Eastern philosophers had just remained quiet, then they would have been the undisputed winners.
• The Eastern Philosophers kowtowing with their works is hilarious, as is Socrates flexing during his next verse and a brief shot of Sun Tzu, Lao Tzu and Confucius all stroking their magnificent beards.
• Socrates' line "Sun Tzu, I'll be taking apart your Wu with my Method..." Then he turns his head and winks as he says "Man!"
• Sun Tzu, who has the most oversized eyebrows among all the Easterners, making fun of Confucius's eyebrows for not fitting on his face, while Lao Tzu gives a silent "Oh no he didn't!" reaction behind him.

Shaka Zulu vs. Julius Caesar

• Caesar slam dunking in the background of his first verse.
• Caesar in the foreground silently shimmying across the screen while staring into the camera while the Caesar in the background raps during his first verse is somewhat creepy yet hilarious.
• In the Behind the Scenes, Lloyd portrays his Roman soldier as incredibly whiny. After we've been treated to a few scenes of this, Peter snaps and tells him, "That character is the worst! It makes everything else you've done less funny because of how bad it is!"
• Starting Caesar's first verse. It's the nonchalant stoicism that sells it.
  You talk a lot of shit for a man wearing a diaper.
  I heard you had poison spit: where was it in this cypher?
• Starting Shaka's second verse:
  Right, I've heard of your play. Tell me, how does it end?
  Oh, yes: You get stabbed many times by your friends!
  • Also qualifies as Hypocritical Humor, given that the real Shaka Zulu was assassinated by his own half-brothers.
• The look on Shaka Zulu's face as Caesar mentions his legions "spank[ing him] in [the] chest". Not that he's threatened by Caesar's threat, but the fact that he used "spank" as a way to describe his attack.
• "If you cross that equator you'll head straight into a massacre, and get fucked by more than just Cleopatra in Africa!"

Stan Lee vs. Jim Henson

• Walt Disney interrupting everything to yell at them to get back to work.
• Stan Lee says he misses Jim Henson and that Jim died way too soon. Jim's answer?
  Most of the internet thought that you died twelve years ago.
• After Jim's first verse, Stan Lee brings out a puppet of his own to deliver some of Stan's next lines.
• Jim sets up the barbs, but Kermit delivers them in the early part of the battle.

Season 5

George R. R. Martin vs. J. R. R. Tolkien

• Martin claims that his readers love every character he's written... and then he mentions killing them off, casually turning around to demonstrate. Followed by his high-pitched impression of his readers, "No, he didn't!"
• Tolkien's line about the initials:
  Tolkien: You're a pirate, you even stole my R. R.!
• Just how fired up Tolkien is throughout the entire battle.
  Tolkien: We all know the world's full of chance and anarchy.
  So yes, it's true to life for characters to die randomly.
  But news flash, the genre's called FANTASY!
  It's meant to be unrealistic, YOU MYOPIC MANATEE!
• Martin forming an HBO logo with silhouettes, with the blink-and-you-miss-it caption "Dope Ass Programming".
• Another blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment; when Martin is sitting at his computer, he's not typing anything at all. He's playing Zork.
  • At the very, very beginning, too: at the house with the mailbox.
• On Martin's line "Tell your all-seeing eye to find some sex in your movies", a second Martin pops up in the background staring at the camera with a perverse grin, punctuated with a growly "yeah!"
• When Michael "Mikey" Walsh of the Goonies shows up with Danaerys Targaryen, they exchange a look. Danaerys looks contemptuous and somewhat repulsed. Mikey just looks awkward and embarrassed.
• George R.R. Martin finishes his rap by tea-bagging the camera.

Gordon Ramsay vs. Julia Child

• The rather casual way the rap starts, apparently following one of Gordon's shows.
  Gordon: (to a camera) -and that's how you make a perfect risotto.
  (turns to the viewer) Right. (reads off of a clipboard) Mrs. Child, welcome to the grown-ups' table.
• Gordon's ridiculous spate of shows, including "Street Noodler", "Quiche Rescue" and "Cooking With Pebbles".
• Julia Child rapping in that trademark voice, expectedly Sophisticated as Hell and unexpectedly hilarious.
  "You scream at women, but the fits that you're pitching
  Make YOU the pissiest bitch in the kitchen!"
  • "Oh, I'm so glad you spent this time with me. Now eat a dick! (raises a wine glass) Bon appétit!"
• When Ramsay shows off a blue jacket to tell her to take it, there is a Beat... which leads to a rather awkward pause as Child tries to lean forward to see if he was gonna say something... and then he shouts in her ear, making her flinch a bit.
  • The burger being flipped during the beat has the Epic Rap Battles of History logo on it, which might dupe first-time viewers into thinking the battle's about to end. And then:
    ... now give it back and FUCK OFF!
    • That whole segment is actually a parody of Ramsay's show Hell's Kitchen, which is prone to cliffhangers (Gordon makes a huge dramatic statement, followed by a shot of the Hell's Kitchen logo on a piece of food or kitchen utensil) and fakeouts.
• When Julia is cutting into a piece of lard, she gets the bigger chunk and casually puts it on some toast.
• At another point, she has about four good-sized yellow onions on a cutting board, and she's holding a knife. As the camera closes up on her face, she's chopping (below camera) as a flurry of onion skins fly up. Cut back and ALL the onions are perfectly diced... in less than two seconds! Now that's some serious chopping skill.
  • She then proceeds to season them with a ridiculously huge pepper mill.
• The Hell's Kitchen sous-chefs chant "YES, CHEF!" to support Ramsay's insults. But when he says "You call these lines raw?" They chant "NO, CHEF!"
  • Not just a clever pun, but (literally) raw food is one way to set Ramsay off.
• One of the sous-chefs is running across the background with a handful of cooked spaghetti.
• Julia cuts a fish during her first verse. Near the end of one of her lines ("enough stuff to justify getting rough/with the butter-loving queen of the bourguignon boeuf!"), she cuts it hard enough to send the front half of the fish flying offscreen.
• Background Julia's face when she says "Sous vide!" is noteworthy among all of her other, quite frankly deranged facial expressions.
• Gordon Ramsay himself has seen it. "It's hilarious."
  • He even commented on the video on his official YouTube channel!.
    Even with that questionable English accent, it's pretty clear who won...
• Julia Child is merry and upbeat throughout the video... but even so, she comes across as more and more deranged in a way that's both hilarious and vaguely disturbing.
• Julia's trademark mallet-strike sign-off is done with a hilariously gigantic mallet.

Frederick Douglass vs. Thomas Jefferson

• Thomas Jefferson's "I told King George he could eat a fat dick" is already profane enough to sollicit a few chuckles, but Jefferson punctuates this line with a silly dance that ends with him double-pointing at his crotch.
• Douglass says that Jefferson's face on Mount Rushmore is nothing to look at, taking out seven pictures of himself to compare. At that point, each portrait turns to face Jefferson as he delivers his line, "Now that's real muggin'!".
• "Oh Fredrick, I've never heard a verse I dug less..."
• Jefferson's mostly backhanded apology for continuing the slave trade even when he brags about dismantling it, giving a Hurricane of Excuses and trying to brush the whole thing off as "I was busy" before awkwardly putting up his fist for a bump and asks Douglas "So... we cool?"
• "This ain't Louisiana, man! I ain't buyin' it!"
• Douglas calling Jefferson a "founding absentee father" when referring to his (ahem) "relationships" with one of his female slaves.

James Bond vs. Austin Powers

• During Austin Powers' intro, a Powers strikes a pose, but realises he's facing the wrong direction. After a grimace, he repeats the pose facing the camera.
• Just the fact that Sean Connery!James Bond interrupted the rap battle between Daniel Craig!James Bond and Austin Powers... and proceeds to derail the video into a New!Bond vs. Old!Bond battle, with Austin being unable to reenter the rap. Austin tries to save face after the intrusion:
  Austin Powers: Yeah, um, could I get back in my rap, please?
  Connery!James Bond: (backhands him across the face) Rap these, you velvety hack!
  Austin Powers: Jeez...
• At the end of the battle, Austin Powers is just looking between the two Bonds with the silliest expression on his face. The huge grin that Austin breaks into after Connery!Bond slaps the piss out of Craig!Bond is equally hilarious.
• Bond brings up the Swedish-made penis enlarger, to which Austin predictably tries to interrupt to insist it's not his.
• Old!Bond shows up wearing his duck hat.
• In a bit of Hypocritical Humor, what sets Connery!Bond off is the accusation of him not being English by Craig!James Bond... when You Only Live Twice and Skyfall have established that James Bond is Scottish by birth.^note Ian Fleming deliberately kept Bond's backstory vague during most of the novels he wrote, but made him canonically Scottish when Connery was cast.
• Compared to the more title sequence-esque visuals in his first verse, Bond's second verse has a much sillier background, with palm trees flopping back and forth after zooming in screen, and bikinis flying around randomly.

Bruce Banner vs. Caitlyn Jenner

• Hulk may not get very many lines, but with what he's given he delivers one of the funniest verses in all of ERB:
  Hulk:
  THAT PAINTED FACE DON'T GIVE YOU CLASS!
  JUST ONE MORE THING BRUCE DO FOR CASH!
  BEST THING YOU MAKE: KYLIE ASS!
  SHE EIGHTEEN? HULK SMASH!
• Banner's no slouch when it comes to funny jabs:
  I hear you're good at running; you're just like the Flash
  Especially in the 100 meter ditch-your-wife dash!
• And how Caitlyn Jenner closes the battle:
  Examine this under your microscope:
  You got no neck but you still fucking choked!
  After battling me, you're gonna always be pissed,
  So the Hulk will stay forever; neither Bruce will exist!
• When Caitlyn threatens the Hulk by saying she'd "put a javelin through his jolly green discus", Hulk is visibly taken back, as if the threat frightens him!

Ivan the Terrible vs. Alexander the Great vs. Frederick the Great vs. Pompey the Great vs. Catherine the Great

• Ivan goes for killing his opponents off instead of matching verses with them. It quickly goes into Black Comedy territory.
  • Of particular note is Frederick the Great. Ivan gets him a seat and tries to garrote him while he's sitting... only to realize that Frederick had already dropped dead.
    Ivan: Hm. My expectations were a lot higher, but at least I saved the rubles on the garrote wire.
  • Followed by Ivan singing merrily in such an atonal way while punching Fred's corpse at the start of his victory dance.
  • Ivan's expressions during this part are especially hilarious, going from "gaping fish shock" to crazy glee.
  • "Why don't you drop dead, Fred!?". Just the idea alone that Ivan knows a movie like that is hilarious.
  • Just the fact that Frederick the Great's entire contribution is to crash the party, talk trash about Russia for twelve bars, and drop dead almost before Ivan can figure out what's going on, is hilarious. It would be a Big-Lipped Alligator Moment if it wasn't so awesome.
• When Ivan boasts about being the first tsar, everyone in Rasputin vs. Stalin shows up behind him...including Pewdiepie as Mikhail Baryshnikov, dancing and tipping over, almost falling.
• Ivan boasts that "no 'Great' can beat [him]." Cue Pompey cutting into the battle... for about three seconds before he gets decapitated by Catherine.
• In a blink and you miss it moment, the handles of Catherine's garrote are shaped like penises, in reference to her extensive collection of phallic furniture.
• Ivan is so hilariously Obviously Evil (including his lighting) that he makes previously portrayed evil characters look downright subtle.
  • They seem to lampshade this when Ivan goes to kill Frederick with the garrote... as he's doing it, Ivan looks directly into the camera with a glee so over-the-top that it's practically screaming "I am evil, hear me roar!"
  • The way he gleefully sings "It's another great day!" after killing two people.
• Whilst Ivan seems more inclined to actual physical murder than metaphorical, he still gets a few funny lines, such as presenting Catherine with a horse as a tribute because 'he hears she likes the saddle.'

Donald Trump vs. Hillary Clinton vs. Abraham Lincoln

• One that almost becomes a Freeze-Frame Bonus, the very introduction sets the tone for how they portray Trump: He gets the usual intro, and when Clinton gets hers... Trump is behind her, looking at her, in reference to Trump doing something similar during one debate and being accused of stalking her.
• At one point, Hillary is wearing a "Make Donald Drumpf Again" hat.
• Hillary phrases her opinion as bluntly as possible:
  Hillary: How do I say this... You're racist!
  • Trump alluding to that line, with a deadpan:
    Trump: How do I say this... you're a two.
• Trump's portrayal in general. Epic Lloyd tries to imitate Trump's expressions and manner of speaking, and ends up looking (and sounding) constipated. This includes off-screen. The behind the scenes video includes Lloyd sexually harassing Peter while he's getting dressed up as Honest Abe and Lloyd driving home to walk his dogs, in full Trump costume and in-character, and the dogs hiding under the table.
• For his last verse, Donald goes full Politically Incorrect Villain. It quickly Crosses the Line Twice, culminating in him about to drop an N-bomb:
  I'm gonna run these streets like I run my casinos:
  More police and less Latinos!
  While you bury us in debt buying poor people socks,
  I'll create jobs tearing down mosques!
  Then I'll use all the best rocks from the site to build a wall,
  Dip it in gold and make Mexico pay for it all!
  [...]
  Cause this whole system's rigged, and we all know the riggers!
  For the last eight years this country's been run by— (CAW!)
• The "pay for it all" line of the above part ends with him dabbing. It's the audience cheering that makes it hilarious. Hillary also gets a dab in during her verse.
• Honest Abe shows up for another go at the two candidates. We should've seen this coming. "Of the people, by the people, for the people, EAGLE!" returns — except, this time, he smacks Trump twice.

Ash Ketchum vs. Charles Darwin

• The Alola Exeggutor makes an appearance as a basketball hoop!
• After the battle is finished, a happy little chip tune accompanies the credits.
• "Hello. Welcome to a world called Earth."
• When Darwin raps about being a "masterful naturalist," several other versions of him pop up staring ridiculously hard at small animal statues.
• "Look, Mighty Morphin Michael Vick..."

Wonder Woman vs. Stevie Wonder

• Stevie Wonder makes a crack about how dumb Wonder Woman's invisible jet is while we see Wonder Woman herself piloting the thing with a determined expression on her face.
• The fact that "...and I got more Grammies than your panties got stars!" isn't an exaggeration. Wonder has 26 Grammies (including his Lifetime Achievement Award), while the "panties" on Linda Carter's Wonder Woman costume only have 17 stars.
• The sheer silliness of Lilly Singh briefly playing all of Steve's nine different kids AND their five different mothers. Sure the kids should resemble each other to some degree, but their mothers?
  • Viewers familiar with Lilly's own channel will also notice that one of the mothers is also Lilly's mom.
  • Turns into Dead Baby Comedy when you realize all nine of them are wearing Stevie's shades...

Tony Hawk vs. Wayne Gretzky

• Wayne's crack about Hawk's inability to stay married.
  You're on your fourth wife - talk aboot the ex-games!
• Tony somehow decides to open his second stanza... by using Wayne's name three times.
  Great One, Wayne! Let me say something, Wayne! I got 99 problems, and you ain't one, Wayne!
• Gretzky seems to briefly extend an olive branch by bringing up his and Hawk's combined 184 world records - 183 for him, and one for Hawk.
• Due to the visual effects, Gretzky winds up hip checking himself as he begins to conclude the rap.
• While doubling as a CMOA, Wayne ends the rap by admitting the rap was pointless:
  For true sports fans, this was finished as soon as they heard the matchup!

Theodore Roosevelt vs. Winston Churchill

• Teddy is finally on the scene and one of his first lines is "What's up Bitches?!", complete with appropriate Art Shift.
• Churchill pointing out that Roosevelt is the namesake of a toy and he has the nickname of 'Bulldog'.
  "Steady there, I don't think it's very fair/For a British Bulldog to melee with a Teddy Bear!"
• Teddy's line which prompted the "teddy bear" remark:
  "Don't worry, the US will give you a pass/Just change your poster to 'Keep calm and kiss my cousin's ass!'"
• This fourth-wall-shattering diss from Churchill:
  "I'm the Rhyme Minister, fresh in a hat and dinner jacket/You look like a mix of EpicLLOYD and a Pringles packet!"
• Roosevelt's rebuttal to Churchill's line about his parents dying prematurely is equally Crosses the Line Twice and he even lampshades it.
  My parents died when they were young and it was morbid
  But at least they didn't ditch me while they were alive like yours did!
  Oh shit! World War too soon?
• The Funny Background Event of Winston Churchill in a baby carriage still smoking a cigar.
• "I'll bust a trust fund lush with my American muscles, so walk softly over here and GIVE MY BIG STICK A SUCKLES!" Roosevelt's facial expression at the last bit makes it even better.

Nice Peter vs. EpicLLOYD 2

• The very premise: Peter and Lloyd having an argument because they're still working on a track at four in the morning.
  • Also, one of the crew puts a microphone in front of Peter when he's about to start going off on Lloyd.
• After Peter does his mean-spirited impression of Lloyd, it's revealed he was standing on a cardboard box as a dig at Lloyd's height.
• The number of jokes that toy with the fourth wall:
  • While talking about (read: off-handedly insulting) the editors, Peter's hand suddenly grows large and he takes notice of this. When the camera cuts to both of them, Lloyd's head is similarly huge. "Aww, c'mon, now what the fuck did I do?"
  • "Just make a fucking decision so these people can leave/Forgive me for interrupting Rocket League and smoking weed."
  • The battle gets interrupted by the tag for the beat — it was left in.
  • When Peter and Lloyd go at each-other, the scene cuts to being displayed as a video-within-the-video. A mouse goes over and clicks the like button, and Lloyd thanks the viewer.
    • The video in question? The first Nice Peter vs. EpicLLOYD
• Lloyd's last jab at Peter:
  Peter: "I'm sorry about some of the things I said."
  Lloyd: "I'm sorry about the way you played Batman."
• "I'm sorry man, NO I'M FUCKING NOT! FUCK YOU!"
• The top comment at the time this was written points out that the whole video feels like a lovers's spat. Not helped at all by Peter's "and tonight I'm not quitting the battles, bitch I'm quitting you!" line.
  The Witness: You can cut the sexual tension with a knife.
  • It's since been replaced by a comment that reads "It's like watching your parents fighting."
• Peter makes a comment about Lloyd trying to find a rhyme for "erection", to which Lloyd later retorts: "Erection jokes, dude? Your whole name means dick!"

Season 6

Freddy Krueger vs. Wolverine

• Wolverine comes out swinging: "That claw is like a strap-on, there's a pussy underneath!"
• "Jason can't talk and he rocks the mic better!"
• "I ain't got time for this, I'm saving the world, what qualities do you bring? You're a pedophile from the Midwest, at least R. Kelly could sing."
  • As Wolverine delivers this line, an Ant-Man-sized Freddy tip-toes across the top of his bed.
• "Only thing that scares me is a fridge with no beer!"
• "I'll be in your bed tonight, unlike Jean Grey!"
• After waking up from his Freddy Krueger induced nightmare, Wolverine picks up a picture frame and looks at it mournfully. Then the camera cuts to reveal that it is a picture of the discontinued heroin joke from the Behind the Scenes videos.
• "I’ll call you tomorrow morning if I need my toast buttered."
• When Freddy boasts about being a "chick magnet", he turns his arms into an actual horseshoe magnet to suck Wolverine in. The mere visual of Wolverine desperately trying to hold onto something while he's being magnetically yanked towards Freddy will elicit plenty of laughs, along with the pure exasperation in Freddy's bars during this moment:
  What the fuck is a wolverine? Some kind of an angry beaver?
  I was more intimidated by a tiny Canadian the first time I saw Justin Bieber!

Guy Fawkes vs. Che Guevara

• "You should've stayed Anonymous, Epic Fail Guy!" Because when you think Che Guevara, name-dropping internet memes is... probably not what you picture him doing.
• It's very impressive how they managed to fit a Ylvis reference into a rap battle about revolutionaries.
  Che: Oh! What's the Fawkes say now?
  (Guy lets out a high-pitched yelp while protecting his junk)
  Che: When they cut your junk out!
• During Guy Fawkes's second verse, he smacks away a cigar Che threw at him. The cigar lands on one of his explosive barrels in the background, lighting the fuse. And throughout the rest of the verse, the fuse is still lit until it explodes by the end of the verse.
• JP Morgan showing up to tease Che while Fawkes is rapping about how he's been merchandised by capitalists.
• The ridiculously goofy dance that Guy does during his "I'm Catholic, I got mass when I'm rapping!" line.
• "You're an ump-Che; that's Bay of Pigs Latin!"

Ronald McDonald vs. The Burger King vs. Wendy

• "Your style is like your ice cream machines! BROKEN!" If you check the comments on the video, and about 90% of fan reaction videos, this line got the biggest reaction from frustrated McDonald's fans.
• Unlike the original, Burger King doesn't get Ronald's fourth wall breaking reference to their actors and just gives a confused "All right..."
• "You spooky-ass clown, you're so creepy it's insane / YOU LOOK LIKE YOU JUST ATE SOMEONE'S BROTHER IN A STORM DRAIN!"
• The Burger King does the McDonald's "double arches" gesture, but ends with a double bird.
• After the Burger King ends a verse by boasting about his onion rings, Ronald can't help but agree about them before jumping back into the rap. Just before BK ends his verse, he crosses over to Ronald’s side just to run one circle around him to prove his point about his onion rings.
  Ronald McDonald: Your onion rings are pretty good...
• Meta: Given how this is essentially the same rap from "Flash in the Pan Hip Hop Conflicts of Nowadays", just with costumes and visuals, you'd expect the video to end after Ronald's final verse. And then, in the distance, you hear someone chanting "Where's the beef? Right here!"
• Wendy playing with her braids with a big goofy grin in the foreground as she unloads on Ronald and The King in the background.
• Wendy point blank says it like it is and calls the Burger King creepy to his face... before calling his breakfast croissants shit.

George Carlin vs. Richard Pryor vs. Bill Cosby vs. Joan Rivers vs. Robin Williams

• In the intro, Pryor flipping Carlin off a second before the battle begins. And it's blurred out, even though Rivers flips the bird later and it's uncensored.
• Carlin, true to form, doesn't take long to start cussing up a storm, using a few words fans just might recognize.
  George Carlin: Now there's seven words you can't say on a TV set / but this is the pissing fucking cunting internet! / And my cocksucking motherfucking bits are the tits / Nonstopping brain droppings like my wit's got the shits!"
• After Joan Rivers takes the stage and knocks Bill Cosby out with a roofied pudding, she spends the first half of her verse really tearing him down — while taking a dig at herself too.
  Joan Rivers: It turns out you were just like your sweaters — monstrous!
  The men that I slept with only wished they were unconscious!
  • Cosby spends most of the rest of the battle twitching on the ground unconscious, though he briefly gets back up and tries to start rapping again... only for Rivers to knock him out once again with Robin Williams' magic lamp. There's also Cosby's face as he's being knocked out again, completely undignified but worthy of many laughs.
  • And of course, his body still twitches here and there whenever it's on-screen.
• When Robin first appears, Rivers turns to face him, arms still raised from her last verse, before they drop down in a way that makes it clear she knows she just lost.
• Robin Williams' rap is, of course, full of references to his movies, but he cleverly uses them to take swipes at the other rappers — particularly one of Richard Pryor's more infamous incidents.
  Robin Williams: Yo Pryor, I Doubtfire makes a good shampoo! / Left you running down the street like: (Slams his face in a pie to get a white facemask) "OH NO!"
  • Also of note is how at the end, during the "Who won? Who's next?" part, Williams still has the cream facemask while dancing.

Jacques Cousteau vs. Steve Irwin

• Steve doing a hands-on analysis of Cousteau, all while the oceanographer looks at him with clear irritation.
• Jacques in his scuba suit during the "underwater breathing apparatus" line. His derpy smile while giving the line is particularly ridiculous.
• The two bars where Steve makes fun of Jacques' infidelity is accompanied by pelvic thrusts.
• This four-bar exchange between the rappers:
  Jacques: Talk about sons, better watch what you say now!
  You almost turned yours into Outback Mistake-house!
  (Jacques physically imitates Steve Irwin's infamous "feeding a crocodile while holding his baby" incident)
  Steve: Would you rather talk about your brother? Hoo boy!
  Nazi, Nazi, Nazi! Oi, oi, oi!
• The sight of Cousteau hopping into frame as he imitates a kangaroo, all the while keeping a completely straight face as he raps, is nothing short of ludicrous.
  Jacques: Hey Skippy the Bush League Kangaroo! Hold the Dee! I'm Crocodile Dun with you!
  • Irwin proceeds to take the comparison even further as a miniature version of himself pops out of a pouch. No, not his pants. His pouch.

Mother Teresa vs. Sigmund Freud

• Freud thrusting into frame in his last line, proudly pronouncing that he "got the libido to continue to beat ya!".

Dracula vs. Vlad the Impaler

• Vlad uses the traditional garlic weakness to threaten Dracula with Olive Garden's garlic breadsticks.
• Dracula starts out with an impression of the Count.
  Does this mic still work after that blah-blah-blah?
  Check one, two—ah ah ah!
• The Couch Gag involving the logo turning into a replica of Castlevania's final boss battle, where the logo takes the place of Simon.
• "Get beat by Count Dracula? You're smoking crackula. I dunk on your whackula raps like I'm Shaqula!"

The Joker vs. Pennywise

• When The Joker calls Pennywise "A sewer troll that Stephen King wrote between his lines", Pennywise... doesn't understand the euphemism, seeing as It spends 27 years at a time sleeping. Joker then frustratedly has to spell it out for him, the one thing he hates doing.
  It's like cocaine, you know what I said.
  I don't know how any kind of joke could go over that head!
• The sheer Mood Whiplash between Joker expressing his disgust over the infamous pre-teen sewer orgy in the original IT novel and spring-boarding off of it to reference the "We live in a society" Internet meme associated with himself.

  Joker: Tell your author for his next gangbang scene, how about a little more PG, and a LOT less 13!

  • Made even funnier by the fact that it's the Joker chiding Stephen King for not performing up to society's standards.
• The Joker responding to the Deadlights with a dismissive "go back into your well, you giggling sewer ginger!"
  • He later refers to Pennywise as "three nightlights in a cloud beat by the kids from Stranger Things".
• "I spit January ember flames! You got beat by the Scooby Gang!"

Thanos vs. J. Robert Oppenheimer

• Thanos turning one of his signature lines into a vulgar joke.
  'Cause you slept with your friend's wife, right there in your friend's bed,
  Then got another married girl pregnant; you should have gone for the head!
  • Complimenting the above line is Thanos doing pelvic thrusts.
• Oppenheimer goes out of his way to riff on Thanos's wrinkled "butt-butt-butt-butt-butt-butt chin".
• Thanos bringing up the Thanos Copter and calling himself "Fortnite's dopest dancer" is sure to make one let out a few chuckles from how out of nowhere they are.
• Hearing Oppenheimer threatening to "finish this like Ant-Man: all up in your stinky!" is... surreal, to say the least. Doesn't really help that he's wriggling his finger and making a silly face while he's doing this.
• One of the highlights of the battle is that you can witness the glory of Thanos being called Tinky Winky.
• Oppenheimer's first line has a glorious reference to his famous "I am become death" quote.
  Oppenheimer: Listening to you took everything I had left. After your raps, I am become deaf.

Donald Trump vs. Joe Biden

• Donald Trump comes out swinging, referencing the deaths of Biden's first wife and daughter in a car crash. Biden's response, which doubles as Awesome:
  Biden: The pain of losing loved ones is something I've seen... so I know how you must have felt when they killed Jeffrey Epstein.
• Trump interjecting "Wrong!" when Biden denies being a socialist or a communist.
• Biden thrusting his hips in slow-mo, while uttering the "Should've pulled out of Stormy Daniels" line.
• Trump proclaiming that no "person, woman, man, camera, TV" will beat him in a Punctuated! For! Emphasis! manner. That is, if you don't find it a little unsettling.
• Biden being briefly interrupted by Russian hackers at the beginning of his second verse, throwing him off-guard.
  Biden: ...What's this malarkey?
• During Biden's "What you scooped up a sycophantic, homophobe Hoosier" line, a fly can be briefly seen on his head, referring to the infamous fly on Mike Pence's head during the vice presidential debate.
• How does Biden end the battle? Naturally, by referencing his most infamous quote from 2020's presidential debates. Doubles as a Moment of Awesome depending on what you think about Trump.
  Biden: For the love of democracy, will you shut up, man?

Harry Potter vs. Luke Skywalker

• "You fly a broom like some kind of magical janitor!"
• A Funny Background Event: When Harry says the line "I'll split you like your fanbase's feelings 'bout the prequels", one can see Jar-Jar Binks being beaten by three fans. Doubles as a Take That!. For bonus points, if you listen closely, you can actually hear the sound effects of him being beaten up.
• A slightly less funny one when Harry brings up Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru, and in the background you can see two burning skeletons running out of the moisture farm just to collapse and die. Even the actual movie didn't go there.^note They were found already outside, and since it was done by stormtroopers one can presume they were taken outside and interrogated, then shot dead before they brought the napalm.
  • For his part, Luke just looks annoyed. Like, "Dude...seriously?"
• Harry takes the opportunity to mock Luke's An Arm and a Leg moment.
  Harry: But I bet you're just distracted, you've got a lot on your plate / On the one hand, the rebellion / on the other hand... oh, wait.
• Yoda pitches in to make a reference to the notorious Disney+ addition "Maclunkey!"
• Harry says that "Like Hermione and Ron / [He's] about to get it on". Cue Ron smiling.

Season 7

Ragnar Lodbrok vs. Richard the Lionheart

• When Richard compares Ragnar's face-tats to Post Malone, he even copies the rapper's facial expressions when saying it.
• Ragnar showing he is fully capable of giving a Full-Frontal Assault by posing naked behind his shield.
• Lodbrok pointing out how odd it is that the English King Richard didn't speak English. ^ExplanationHe was Norman by birth, so spoke Norman French
• Richard brings up 'The Lion King', specifically the 'Circle of Life' number in how messed up Lodbrok's life was.
  • Lodbrok points out he's one to talk, given as he lacked an official heir and was speculated to be bisexual.
    Ragnar Lodbrok: Your old lady can't feel the love on any night!
• Lodbrok points out that Richard took Acre and Jaffa, but couldn't take Jerusalem i.e the whole reason for the Crusade.
  Ragnar Lodbrok: We should call it the Crusade of Richard the First Base!
• Richard tells Ragnar that he sees him shaking in his shaggy little pants LIKE ZOINKS!
• "If I wanted to fight loser Vikings, I'd go to Minnesota!"
• The battle ends with Ragnar on the verge of vomiting when describing how his opponent died from gangrene.
• Ragnar mocks Richard's being French by mangling some lines from Frere Jacques: "Ding dang dong! Morning bells warn about me at the break of dawn!"

Jeff Bezos vs. Mansa Musa

• Jeff Bezos skipping through boxes wearing his space suit and cowboy hat. Enough said.
  • The fact that he refers to himself as Jazzy Jeff Bezos.
• The magazine◊ that pops up during Musa's "David Pecker picked a pack of your peter pics!" line is full of hilarious Freeze-Frame Bonus: "The Weird Wiener Pics No One Wants To See", "Gross textures & colors from his REPTILE SKIN!", and the real-life picture of NicePeter.
• During Mansa Musa's second verse, he stops himself in the middle of his verse because he's distracted by Bezos's face, giving us this exchange:
  Mansa Musa: He... woo! Fix your face! No wonder you bought Twitch!
• Jeff Bezos's voice cracking during his "Your ship has sailed just like the dude who came before you!" line.
• Musa deflating Bezos' entire first verse with three words:
  Mansa Musa: Ayo, Lex Loser...
• Musa's movements and facial expressions are just hilariously hammy in general, particularly when he gets to the "feed me Seymour lips" line.

John Wick vs. John Rambo vs. John McClane

• According to the BTS video, the Air-Vent Passageway was a genuine air vent that they ordered from contractors for that one shot, and Lloyd had trouble describing it to them on the phone until he uttered the words "Die Hard", whereupon they immediately understood.
  "This dude at the HVAC ^note  Heating Ventilation and Cooling shop must get this question like three times a month."
• John McClane gets a hilariously inappropriate dig at Sylvester Stallone's famous Verbal Tic.
  John McClane: Does your lip hang low? Does it wobble to and fro? Can you string that shit up like a compound bow?
• John Wick cutting off Rambo before he can start the battle.
  Rambo: Alright, I guess I'll be the one to draw First Blood.
  Wick: Or maybe, you could draw an audience to see any of your new movies.
• "You're such wieners, I should call you both John Shaft."
• "NOTHING IS OVER! NOTHING! YOU JUST DON'T TURN IT OFF! Unless... it's one of your movies, in which case... I JUST TURN IT OFF!"
• The fact that the battle immediately stops after Rambo pulls out a an RPG, only to promptly resume as a rather petty argument.
  John McClane: Jesus Christ asshole! What are you doing!? This is not some Saturday morning cartoon for you to ruin!
  Rambo: Only thing getting ruined is McClane family Christmas. All your kids still got "decent dad" on their wish list.
  John McClane: Whoa! Rambo's dropping bombs in his flows! Did your pals in the Taliban help you write those?
  John Wick: *Exasperated* Those were Mujahideen, there's a difference. The Taliban formed in the 90s when you fell off with a vengeance.

Lara Croft vs. Indiana Jones

• Lara isn't one to mince words with Indy considering how she kicks off her first verse with poking fun at his fear of snakes.
  Lara: "Indianaconda"? For heaven's sake! You'd shit those Dickies at a garter snake!
• She also really rips him a new one in regards to his relationship with Marion in the backstory for Raiders of the Lost Ark, right down to quoting Short Round.
• Lara says she kills dinosaurs. First line of Indy's next verse?
  Indiana: DINOSAURS BELONG IN A MUSEUM!
• "You're not John Williams, so you ain't scoring!"
• "Oop, my bad / Your dad was never present / At best the affection you got was sloppy seconds! (Ew!)"
• Indy alludes to Lara's old blockier appearance as "Girls Polygon Wild."

Henry Ford vs Karl Marx

• Marx's issues with hygiene mean that Ford takes a step back when Marx steps closer to him and looks supremely uncomfortable when Marx somehow is sitting in the back seat of the Model T and leans forward to talk to him.
  • When Marx mentions pawning off his pants to fund his political activism, he takes them off and releases them into the wind.
• Marx briefly T-poses the first time he mentions the Model T.
• Marx refers to Ford's Self-Made Man story as dung from a taurus^note bullshit".

Godzilla vs. King Kong

• The mere battle itself; two famously nonverbal Kaiju spitting out bars and gesturing as if they were normal humanoid rappers is just a very amusing sight to see by itself.
• "I eat up a whole city like some Tokyo-plait / You get spoon-fed hot lead like, 'Here comes the airplane!'"
  • "How did dropping off the Empire feel? / You're like Jussie Smollett, 'cept this beatdown is real!"
• "I'll make an ass out of you, like Nintendo did!"
• King Kong finishing one of his lyrics — a "here's your sign" joke, no less — in sign language.
• "Come to New York, and King Kong will — Bing bong! — fuck your life!"
• Kong spends his second verse on top of an aircraft carrier, and even briefly tilts it while dancing on it. He also farts at Godzilla just to show off.
• "This is kid's stuff, send in Minilla / You couldn't measure up to the shin of Godzilla!"
• Godzilla claims King Kong will be "the saddest death of a gorilla since Harambe."
• Godzilla ends his third verse with proclaiming "Fuck you and the balloons you rode in on!". Cut to Kong floating in on said balloons, sounding real bored, even yawning.
  Kong: Aaaaanyway, that was more disappointing than your anime!
  • "You ugly Mothra fucker! Still don't know how you got pregnant, your suit's a big rubber!"
• The use of mo-cap:
  • The fact that Nice Peter's performance style — his mannerisms, gestures, and even facial expressions — are so distinctive that they're instantly recognizable coming from Godzilla is both funny and kind of awesome. The "here comes the airplane!" moment, in which Godzilla leans in and you just know Peter's eyes are going wide as they usually do, is a standout of just how well his performance was captured.
  • Kong's mannerisms are less distinctly Lloyd-ish, instead being those of a stereotypical battle rapper, which looks hilarious coming from the deeply sinister Kong design they went with. For instance, Kong's second verse begins with him clutching his groin and telling Godzilla to suck "Tenacious Deez" - from any other rapper it would've been normal, but to see King Kong doing it makes it funnier than usual.
  • The outro ends with both Kaiju dancing, gradually zooming out to show Peter and Lloyd decked out in mo-cap gear, dancing with blank expressions as the kaiju mimic their movements.

Bonus Battles

Deadpool vs Boba Fett

• Deadpool's character is spot on. His voice is the same perfectly annoying pitch as in his TV and movie appearances (except when he does impressions of both Elvis and a carnival barker, which are also hilarious).
• Deadpool counts Boba's feeble scream as he fell into the Sarlacc as one of his five "lines."
  • Or he was referring to the Wilhelm Scream as Boba was shot in "Hitler Vs Vader 3",^note Deadpool's exact line is "With five lines in the trilogy/and one of them was 'Ahhh!'"; he doesn't say which trilogy, and five lines, including that scream, is about all Boba got in the ERB trilogy as well. so the joke is still funny even if you haven't seen Star Wars.
• When Boba Fett says the line "I only need five lines, cause I look fucking great," he settles into a cheesy looking victory pose you can't help but laugh at.
  • The beat also incorporates little typewriter-like ding!s...and one goes off right at the aforementioned pose.
• Deadpool's speech bubbles even get in on the action after Boba Fett calls Deadpool a schizophrenic.
  Yellow Text Box: Who ya calling schizophrenic?! You've got two different voices!
  Deadpool: You're like your holiday special, man;
  White Text Box: Full of bad choices.
• Deadpool says that Boba's missile backpack would make him alright... "If a fucking bird attacks," complete with waving his hands to imitate a bird's flight.
  • Boba doesn't even bother to respond to this verbally, but when the two are attacked by their enemies towards the end, he dispatches his with a missile from the pack without even looking at them.

Elon Musk vs. Mark Zuckerberg

• Just the fact that Zuck is portrayed with his memetic wide-eyed appearance that became associated with his court hearings. At least, when it's not being creepy as hell.
• "I'm making brilliant innovations in a race against the dark ages! / You provide a place to discover your aunt's... kinda racist!"
  • Zuckerberg fires back in the very next verse with a similar burn:
    I've been looking up your family
    It gets dark, my God!
    Couldn't clean your daddy's laundry with Apar-Tide pods!
• The sheer audacity of Musk flossing in the background at the end of his first verse.
• After Musk's first verse, the first thing that Zuckerberg brings up is... the fact that Musk referred to Data from Star Trek as a Lieutenant instead of a Lieutenant Commander. A quick shot of Musk afterwards shows him rolling his eyes in response.
• Zuckerberg brings up Musk smoking weed on a podcast at the end of his first verse. When it cuts back to Musk, he's smoking another blunt with a hilariously deranged expression on his face reminscient of his memetic face from said Joe Rogan appearance.
  • The fact that the weed-smoking expression is the picture used for Musk in the video thumbnail (Zuckerberg is, of course, just staring creepily into the camera).
• "Your site's got so many Russian bots, they should call it the Social Nyet-work!"
• "You need to start sleeping; we can all see you're tired. You're about to be CE-Oh shit, he got fired!"

Other

• ERB News with Teddy Roosevelt always starts with: "What's up, bitcheeees?!"
  • "My name is Adam Smith! I invented capitalism!"
  • Each ERB News segment features the Announcer saying "EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY" in time to footage of some sort of animal opening and closing its mouth. You are guaranteed to bust a gut.
• Stephen King actually watched and enjoyed the video of him battling Edgar Allen Poe. He even tweeted his own lines he'd like to add:
  Listen here Poe, never seen a rapper as lame as you, I'll fill your Pit and bust your Pendulum, too!
  Mr. Poe, you're boilin' in Hades, while I'm ridin' chill with Mr. Mercedes!
• The ERB Funnies videos take clips from the rap battles and mangle them to hilarious levels. The ERB channel even commented on a video saying it made them laugh!
  • EpicLLOYD himself has commented on several of their videos voicing his approval.
    EpicLLOYD: (on "Free Willy.", based on George Washington vs. William Wallace) this is some trippy ass shite ... and i love it.
  • Some of the episodes even make some legitimately funny new burns, like in their take on Lewis and Clark vs. Bill and Ted.
    Lewis and Clark: (in fast motion) We discovered bears and beavers and prairie dogs and weasels rattlesnakes and catfish, owls, larks, and eagles!
    Lewis: Plus,
    Clark: Bill's stepmom.
• How Nice Peter announces his wife's pregnancy:
  Nice Peter: (pulls out a sonogram) I made this with my wiener.
• What was their response to the numerous requests for a battle between PewDiePie and T-Series? FLASH IN THE PAN HIP HOP CONFLICTS OF NOWADAYS!!!
  Narrator: Who won? Who cares?
  • The presentation adds to the humor: the announcer sounds bored, Peter and Lloyd are just filming themselves in the recording booth without any attempt at backgrounds or special effects, and they're barely even attempting to do a proper voice for the rappers.
• In the video itself, T-Series doesn't even try to hide its perceived status as an Evil, Inc., and even embraces it.
  T-Series: Yo, I'm a faceless, nameless, corporate enterprise!
• They did it again, this time with "Ronald McDonald vs The Burger King". The crowner is this line. Note that Ronald and Burger King are played by Peter and Lloyd respectively.
  Ronald McDonald: I'm Coke to your Pepsi! I'm Mac, you're Android! Let's be real: I'm NicePeter, and you're EpicLLOYD.
  (The Burger King nods and murmurs in agreement)

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