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Funny / Ectoplasm

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  • The exchange in "The Adventure of the Missing Lost Soul" with the (wilfully?) obtuse cabbie:
    Lord Zimbabwe: Victoria, driver.
    Cabbie: No, sir, it's Dennis.
    Lord Zimbabwe: No, we wish to take a train.
    Cabbie: Ooh, I can't carry one o'them, sir, I ain't got the room.
    Lord Zimbabwe: My man, I am, like a malodorous doctor, rapidly losing patience. Must you be so obtuse?
    Cabbie: Ooh, not sure, sir. As you can see by my flat cap, braces, and grubby face, I am in fact working class. Consequently I don't know what "obtuse" means. It is quite beyond the limits of my loquacity.
    Lord Zimbabwe: Confound it! A silver crown to take us to Victoria Railway Station.
    Cabbie: Oh, I can't afford that, sir.
    Theremin: Allow me, sir. I speak the vernacular. Now listen up, you grumble-and-grunt. If you want your cobblers back, you'd better take this smash-and-grab to Victoria Station, or I'll cut off your night-flight-to-Venus and shove it up your Windsor-Casthole.
    Cabbie: [Beat] About ten to three, guv.
    [*whack* as Theremin punches him out.]
    Lord Zimbabwe: Bravo, Theremin! Right, off we go.
    [Whip cracked, sound of hooves.]
    Lord Zimbabwe: Theremin, come back!


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