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"Ah, the Dream SMP. Where the Minecraft is normal, but the people aren't."
Ranboo

All spoilers will be unmarked. You Have Been Warned.

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Season One

     Before Tommy Era 
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     After Tommy Era 
     The L'Manburg Arc 
  • Tubbo's complete inability to find Wilbur when he was standing on a tree right above him.
  • At one point, when Dream calls L'Manburg "the land of pussies", Tommy accuses him of hating women.
    Dream: I would like you to know that the population of your town is zero women, and the population of our town is infinitely more women. Infinitely more.
    Wilbur: Dream, Dream, I don't know what you're doing with your infinite women, but you and your infinite women, get outta here, alright?
  • When the L'Manburgians gather in the Hto Dog Van to prep for the conflict, Tommy suddenly notices Dream, Sapnap and George standing on the walls, surrounding them. Wilbur steps outside to talk to them in chat.
    Wilbur: Gentlemen
    Wilbur: how are you?
    Dream: good
    Wilbur: do you like the view of our nation?
    Dream: I thought this was a trailer park
    Wilbur: Very funny
    Wilbur: Listen
  • The signing of the Declaration of Independence was a very serious affair, with Wilbur giving an epic speech... which he ends by screaming "SUCK IT, GREEN BOY!" at Dream.
    • He continues by having each member sign the Declaration of Independence as he assigns them roles. Tommy becomes Treasury of State, Tubbo becomes Secretary of State... and Fundy gets baby-talked at by Wilbur for a good thirty seconds.
      Tommy: (uncomfortable) ...okay, that- that went on for a little bit... too long.
  • Tubbo's Skewed Priorities.
    Tubbo: You know how you put your hand in a bag of crisps, and you get like grease on it? What I did is, I got like two bags of Monster Munch, I opened them, and then I put it in a bowl! So now I have Monster Munch in a bowl!
    Tommy: ...Tubbo, there are two minutes until Dream comes and murders us.

     The Election Arc 
  • When Wilbur first proposes the election, Tommy writes a bunch of vaguely election-related nonsense and Wilbur reads the entire thing out loud. It must be seen to be believed.
    Tommy: I TL;DR'd it, as the kids say.
    • After that, they write down their policies. Here is the full list, as it was written by Wilbur. Seriously.
      1. We won the war
      tubbo
      3. We don't like sapnap. we just don't. He's just not that appealing
      4. GeorgeNotFound he looked at us once and we got shaken up
      5. WE WILL NOT STAND FOR TYRANNY
      6. We are bonded by blood, no weapons here
      7. Probably endorsed by Vikkstar
      8. We will lower taxesnote 
      9. We will make big things
      10. We will be huge men
      11. We will abolish Eret
      12. We will abolish ____
      13. I will president note 
      14. We are fucking strong and shit
  • Wilbur and Tommy singing "The Story of Tonight" and drinking, of all things, Potions of Harming. Leading to one of the most ridiculous death messages in the game:
    WilburSoot was killed by WilburSoot using magic
  • Jschlatt being in complete shock and denial that Tommy's roller coaster worked.
  • During his final campaign speech, right before the election form went up, Wilbur promised to keep those "filthy Americans" out of L'manburg.
    Tommy: Wilbur, a large majority of the viewers are American.
    Wilbur: I realized that halfway through the word "Americans"...
  • One way Tommy used to annoy Dream was by calling him Clay, which is his actual, real-life name. However, Dream quickly got used to that.
    Tommy: I called you "Clay" then. How does that make you feel?
    Dream: Well, I mean, it's my name, so pretty normal.
    Tommy: Call me by my real name, Dream.
    Dream: Okay... Tomathy. (starts laughing a bit too hard at his own joke)
  • Wilbur asks Dream to go out on a date on a pizza hut, with Tommy being the messenger. And then Tubbo start spamming the following chat message privately to Tommy, causing him to laugh:
    Tubbo (private chat to Tommy): this sounds like flurting
    Tommy: (bursts out laughing)
  • In a genuinely heartwarming moment, Tubbo gives Tommy a pufferfish named Phukkit, which he's had since the start of the server, as a good luck charm for the election. Tommy then immediately asks if he should eat it.
    Tubbo: (laughing) NO!
    Tommy: (laughs) Okay, no, I wasn't- I wasn't gonna- Thank you, Tubbo.
  • Hbomb, one of the server's newest members, joined right on Election Night. Needless to say, he was extremely confused.
  • As Wilbur watches from the distance as the walls of L'manburg are torn down, he invites Tommy to sing the anthem with him, before realizing he forgot how it goes.

     The Pogtopia Arc 
  • While Eret gives Techno a tour of Manburg:
    Eret: That's Punz's house... full of bees, if you like bees...
  • While the whole server was in turmoil over all of the events surrounding the L'manburg Election, MrBeast logged onto the server, and hid a chest containing a 10.000 dollar gift card to Taco Bell. Everyone immediately dropped everything they were doing to go look for it.
    • At one point, there were so many people online that the server couldn't handle it and stopped loading chunks entirely.
      Techno: dream your server is trash
      Techno: booo
      Techno: cringe
    • The thumbnail for Techno's stream was just white, with black text reading "NO TIME FOR THUMBNAIL I NEED TACO BELL".
    • Sapnap found a chest that he believed to have the prize, not knowing Eret had found it earlier. So Sapnap celebrates for a bit, before reading the message "Haha, you're dumb. It's been found." Dream and Karl promptly start laughing like crazy.
  • Quackity the Stripper.
  • During what's otherwise a very dramatic moment, Wilbur has a bit of a slip of the tongue.
    Dream: Tommy, I'll- I have to step in.
    Wilbur: YEAH, DADDY DREAM! Oh- wait no, scratch that one, um... Leader Dr- the, um... big brother Dream! Oh fuck, that's- that's going in a compilation somewhere...
  • Doubling as an awesome moment, Techno's epic search for nether wart. Three hours of stream, several near-death experiences, an entire bastion raid, a ragequit from navigating Basalt Deltas and the resulting 4000-block walk in the Overworld, and enough dead wither skeletons to spawn two withers. All for nether wart.
  • Tommy really wants to light Manburg on fire, but Wilbur keeps telling him not to. But then, Tubbo hands Wilbur Schlatt's "presidential to-do" list....one of which includes the task: "Drain all lakes and kill all wildlife".
    Wilbur: Tommy. Burn that place to the ground.
    [...]
    Tommy: Hey, Wilbur, I could just burn this forest right now.
    Wilbur: Tommy, don't burn down the fucking forest.
    Wilbur: Tommy, please. [...] Tommy. You're not, are you? Tommy, you're not. [...] Wait, Tommy, you're not actually burning down the forest. That was the one thing Schlatt put on the book he was gonna do. That's literally the thing we're fighting against.
    Tommy: Uh...
    Wilbur: Tommy, you burned down the forest.
    Tommy: ..No.
    Wilbur: Tommy, I want you to tell me that again. Say to me: "Wilbur I have not burned down the forest."
    Tommy: Wilbur, I'm—the forest is alive.
    Techno: How alive?
    Wilbur: A lot alive?
    Tommy: Yeeah. Lotta life in this forest. Bugs and shit.
  • Soon after the above exchange, Tubbo has to make an excuse to get away from Schlatt so he can go talk to Wilbur. He comes back to Wilbur relatively fast without admitting what he told Schlatt to get away, and after a few exchanges back and forth between them where Wilbur basically questions Tubbo's true loyalty, we get this bit:
    Tubbo: —I was gonna say, is this all just because I didn't tell you my excuse to leave Schlatt?
    Wilbur: It's—that—that contributed but that's—that's not—
    Tubbo: —Cause that's quite—Would you—would you like me to be completely transparent with you?
    Wilbur: Yeah. What did you tell Schlatt?
    Wilbur: .........
    Techno: ....We're gonna need another forest.
    Tubbo: (giggles) Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm very good at persuading people!
  • During one of the Pogtopia-streams, Tommy steals all of Wilbur's diamonds, crafts them into blocks and starts scattering them around the ravine as "decoration", as well as a bunch of observers, redstone blocks and pistons. This winds up backfiring for him, as he accidentally gets himself trapped beneath two pistons. The others immediately proceed to block him in with cobblestone and leave him there.
    Tubbo: Waitwaitwait! I have an idea! (pours water on top of Tommy) Now he can't breeeeathe.
    • Tommy threatens to call Philza if they don't let him out. So, Phil gets dragged into the call and what follows can best be described as two siblings trying to tell their dad who started it. It's worth noting that the entire chat starts spamming "DADZA" as soon as Phil enters.
      Tommy: Okay, no, Philza, he's really antagonized me there, Wilbur shot me first, Wilbur shot me first, with a- with a bow, and then I pearled on him and he ran!
      Phil: Waitwaitwaitwait, nobody said anything about shooting someone!
      Tommy: Yeah, Wilbur SHOT me in the FACE, Phil, with a bullet, and I went "Ow, Wilbur, you're so mean-"
      Wilbur: Tommy stabbed me.
      Tommy: I did, after he shot me! It was called self-defense!
    • Phil agrees that Tommy should be left trapped underneath the pistons, which causes Tommy to immediately start insulting him.
      Tommy: Philza, you irresponsible bastard, let me out! Ohh, you- You get married once, and you change! You become such a bad person, you become a bad man!
      Phil: WHAT?!
      Tommy: You think you're all this and that! You- Agh, go get married again, Phil!
      Phil: (in disbelief) The fuck am I hearing?!
      • "Let me out now, or I'll get married in rage!"
    • "[Tommy] says 'I would stop if you messaged me asking me to stop', so I messaged him asking him to stop, and he goes 'Why? I'm funny.'"
    • Tommy's attempt at explaining what marriage fraud is to Tubbo. Especially since he appears to forget what straight couples are for a second.
      Tommy: Marriage fraud is where two men get- two women- two- shit- anyone gets married, and then- and then- and then they fall apart, and then the other one- listen, Tubbo, the other one probably owns a knife or some shit. And then what they do is they go and rob a bank together as frauds.
  • Just before the Battle of the Lake, Tommy delivers probably one of the most epic lines in the server's history, as he tells an overconfident Sapnap "I have The Blade" right as Techno logs on, setting the scene for an epic clash. Techno then immediately starts loudly complaining that Tommy woke him up.
    Techno: I WAS HAVING A GOOD SLEEP! I WAS HAVING A GOOD TIME, JUST LAYING THERE, GETTING SOME SHUT-EYE, WHICH ONE OF YOU-
    Tommy: Nonono, wait, Techno, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine! It- You'll be okay!
  • Tommy says so many strange things that Wilbur has started keeping a Tommy Quote Book.
  • Everything about Drista, Dream's younger sister, who he allows to play on the server with Tommy for a bit.
    • The simple fact that Drista can match Tommy's rude comments beat for beat. You can tell he doesn't quite know how to handle someone giving him a taste of his own medicine.
    • Tommy makes some ridiculous faces when Dream tells him that his sister watches Tommy's streams.
    • The first thing she does once she gains control of Dream's character is beat Tommy up with an axe. She continues doing this for a while.
    • At one point, while talking to Dream, Tommy jokingly tells him to hit Drista. Cue a loud smacking noise coming from Dream's end.
      Tommy: OH GOD, NONONONONO, TWITCH, TWITCH, I'M SURE THAT WAS A JOKE, PLEASE DON'T BAN ME, PLEASE DON'T BAN ME-
      • Followed, of course, by the most classic of sibling arguments.
        Dream: The joke is that they think that I hit you, because I made it look like I hit you.
        Drista: You did hit me.
        Dream: No I did not! NO! N-WHAT?! I DID NOT- DISQUALIFIED, I DID NOT, I DID NOT!
    • At one point, Dream takes back his headset to give Drista a tour of the server, meaning Drista can't talk to Tommy anymore.
      Tommy: Whyyy... Drista was more- Drista was cooler than you.
      (Beat)
      Dream: I'm gonna leave.
      Drista: Why are you... Where are you going?
      (door slams, Tommy starts laughing)
      Drista: Clay? Where'd he go? Okay... anyway.
  • "We have grieved. Now we will do the opposite of grieve. Grief."
  • While the festival counts as one huge Wham Episode, there were some funny moments.
    • This amusing bit where Tommy confronts Techno for killing Tubbo:
      Tommy: What the f- What's wrong with you?!
      Techno: Uh... 'Lotta things, really. Uh, I have a bad attention span, bad at conversation, don't really deal with social conversations well, might've just committed tax fraud recently-
      Tommy: Technoblade, you killed Tubbo! You killed him!
      Techno: Oh, and the murders.
    • This exchange between Schlatt and Techno.
      Schlatt: What, do I look like a bad guy?
      Techno: I mean, kinda.
      Schlatt: ...Shut up, Technoblade.
    • The dunk tank led to some funny moments as well.
      • Techno got trapped in it by Fundy, followed by everyone just standing around him waiting for him to drown. Which he didn't, because with Respiration III on his helmet, he gained hearts back faster than the drowning could take them away. He ends up Chewing the Scenery throughout the entire scene, and even goes AFK for a few seconds to drink some water.
      • After everyone else fled, Schlatt decided he wanted to have a go.
        Fundy: I want you to be honest. I know this question has not been asked, and I know we've had some... experiences in the past, but listen... Can you swim?
        (Schlatt gets dropped into the tank)
        Fundy: Oh, no-
        Schlatt: (strangled wheeze)
        Fundy: (scrambling to get him out of the tank) WHAT DID I- I WAS NOT-
    • While in the moment it was very stressful, it is admittedly hilarious that Wilbur's plan to blow up Manburg failed because he lost the detonator. Especially since a later stream revealed that all he had to do was walk five blocks to the left of where he was searching.
  • During one of Tommy's streams, he gets Philza to join the call with him in order to pester Bad about swearing. The entire conversation is just Bad scolding Tommy, while Phil encourages him to swear more.
    Tommy: Whenever I swear you go "Language!" but whenever- whenever Philza over here does, you go "Aw Philza, aw-"
    Bad: He hasn't sweared in this conversation at all!
    Tommy: Phil.
    Phil: Fuck.
  • Some time after the festival, Techno and Tommy have a heated discussion about Techno killing Tubbo (and everyone else). Techno then goes AFK to get a glass of water, and Tommy uses this opportunity to kill him on behalf of Tubbo... but then dies in the process due to Techno's Thorns enchanted armor, with Techno being basically unharmed.
    Techno: I'm back with my glass of water. Oh, why is my health so lownote ? Ah, doesn't matter—(sees Tommy's loot)—oh, hey, hey, free stuff!!
  • After Quackity leaves Manburg, Tommy confronts him in the woods. It's a very serious, very tense conversation... that's constantly interrupted by Tommy's horse wandering between them or pushing them around.
    Quackity: (to the horse) Give us some fuckin' privacy, man! Jesus Christ!
  • Everything about Techno's cow pit. Especially when it gets covered up, and there's a pig named "Cow" on top.
  • While listening in to the meeting between Quackity and Schlatt, Wilbur - from the top of the NASA-building - spots Tommy buried in a hole in the ground, which he immediately starts teasing him over in whispers.
    Wilbur: you look like a doofus
    Tommy: WRONG
    Tommy: YOU LOOK STUPID
    Wilbur: no u
    Tommy: NIHACHU
    (Beat)
    Tommy: Lololololol
    Wilbur: pokimane
  • BadBoyHalo stumbled upon Pogtopia after hearing the buttons on the walls being pressed... right as Wilbur, Quackity, Tommy and Fundy were having a meeting. Quackity's solution? Get everyone there to yell swear words at BadBoyHalo to scare him off. The best part? For a good couple of minutes, it works.
  • After the disaster that was the meeting between Schlatt and Quackity, George logs onto the server. Quackity immediately starts yelling at him for missing literally every important event since the election.
    Quackity: GEORGE, THIS IS YOUR FAULT! EVERYTHING THAT'S HAPPENED UP TO THIS POINT IS LITERALLY BECAUSE YOU SLEPT THROUGH THE ELECTIONS! If YOU had gone to the elections, we could have gotten votes, and we could have won fairly, and Schlatt wouldn't have done any- EVERYTHING that's happened up to this point! And NOW you have the AUDACITY to wake up and SHOW UP?!
    (Beat)
    George: Hey guys.
  • After Karl expressed sadness at the fact that he hasn't been in any animatics so far, Schlatt, Dream and Quackity try to stage a dramatic scene for animators (specifically SAD-ist) to make an animatic out of. The result is the following very dramatic, very poorly acted scene.
    Schlatt: Ooh! I LOVE waffles!
    Dream: I need pancakes!
    Karl: NO! Please stop! I don't know if it's right for this country!
    Schlatt: WHAAAAAT?!
    Quackity: Bazinga!
    (Beat)
    (people start clapping)
    Schlatt: (sarcastically) Nice, guys. Nice.
    • The best part? SAD-ist actually turned this into an animatic. Complete with cartoony facial expressions, overdramatic music and framing, and SAD-ist's avatar sitting in the corner looking completely bewildered.
    • Following this, Schlatt, Karl and Dream do a dramatic reading of the lyrics to the Waffle Song. They get maybe four lines in before Karl starts corpsing.
    • Karl's final, dramatic speech.
      Karl: Listen, Dream! Listen, Schlatt! Listen, Quackity! There's no guys in this world. No, wait- There's no good guys in this world. No good girls in this world. No bad guys, no bad girls. Only... Gamers.
      (Beat)
      Dream: Okay, that's kinda cringe.
  • Technoblade is one of the most feared players on the server... and for very good reasons. But if there's one thing he's weak at, if anything, it's human interaction. When Quackity asks him out on a date as a last ditch effort to stop him from attacking, he runs for the hills.
  • Tommy and Sapnap attempt to make a deal to get Tommy's horse Juorse back after Sapnap kidnapped him. It goes about as well as you'd expect:
    Sapnap: Let's settle this with words.
    Tommy: "Give me back my horse or I will kill you." That's my words.
    Sapnap: Okay, let me think of some words.
    (beat)
    Sapnap: No.

     The Manburg-Pogtopia War 
  • During the preparation phase, Tommy and Wilbur try to farm quotes for SAD-ist to put in the animatic.
    Wilbur: Hey SAD-ist, put this in the animatic, right, I'm gonna give you- I'm gonna give you something to put in the animatic-
    Tommy: Hey SAD-ist, put this in the animatic! (high pitched screech)
    Wilbur: (bursts out laughing) [...] Unlike Tommy, I'm gonna give you something you can actually use, you ready? "Tommy, we can't keep talking now, this is it. This is where we take it all back. Either that, or we get nothing. Are you ready?" There you go, you can-
    Tommy: Yes, I am!
    Wilbur: Now, SAD-ist, also put this one in: CUM!!!
  • While discussing how Wilbur never seems to wear armor (apparently he doesn't like it), Tommy accidentally calls Wilbur "Wilby". Wilbur's reaction is pure Cuteness Proximity, while Tommy immediately tries to backpedal.Links 
    Wilbur: Awwwww, Tommyyyyy! You can call me Wilby, Tommy!
    Tommy: I don't want to call you Wilby.
  • After everyone gets armed (courtesy of Techno), Tommy suggests they all start saying "Hummina Hummina Hummina" because it would be funny. Techno immediately demands all of his items back.
  • During the final battle, the Pogtopians make their way up Eret's tower and start raining arrows on the Manburgians... at which point Niki starts desperately trying to figure out how to turn off clouds.
  • Techno kills Karl repeatedly during the war. As in, the majority of the deaths in the war were Karl. (Fortunately for Karl, none of them were canon.)
  • After the Pogtopians make another push into Manburg, Dream suddenly wants to talk to Wilbur to discuss their immediate surrender. Turns out Schlatt, instead of doing anything useful, has been hiding in the Camarvan drinking alcohol and lifting weights. By the time the Pogtopians breach the van, he's barely coherent.
    • After realizing Schlatt is completely harmless, the Pogtopians debate whether or not they should kill him or get answers out of him. Schlatt suddenly asks if anyone else smells toastnote , starts breathing heavily, then drops dead on the spot.
      Tubbo: ...DID HE JUST HAVE A HEART ATTACK?!
    • Once the Pogtopians realize they've won, Techno butts in on the cheering with his typical snark.
      Techno: Woo, we killed an old man with heart problems, pog! It only took twenty of us!
    • After Schlatt's death, his ghost suddenly comes back to mutter one last phrase, which only Quackity catches.
      Wilbur: What did he say?
      Quackity: ...he said "flatty patty." ARE YOU GODDAMN KIDDING ME?!
    • Phil, who at this point was still doing a Hardcore-stream, was getting the play-by-play from his chat when this all went down. The way the chat described the situation to him was... not great, to say the least.
      Phil: "Everyone is surrounding Schlatt in Wilbur's drug van." That is the most cursed fucking sentence I think I have ever read in my Twitch chat.
  • During Tommy's speech, Dream announces he's not going to bow to him. Everyone else then starts awkwardly muttering about how they really don't wanna bow to Tommy either.
    Karl: I'll bow to him!
    Techno: Karl, don't be weird.
  • When Wilbur announces he's going to hand off the presidency to someone, Karl mutters "Alright, I see where this is going" and starts walking towards the podium, at which point Jack Manifold runs forward to push him back to his seat.
  • Seconds before Techno attacks Tubbo, Dream confessed that there was a traitor amongst L'Manburg, with Tommy saying that they missed their chance. Amid the celebration, they joke that the traitor was GeorgeNotFound and that he had been AFK the whole time. Everyone has a good laugh before they notice either Phil logging in or Techno shooting Tubbo.
  • While the conversation between Wilbur and Phil was highly emotional, Wilbur's attempts to unconvincingly lie his way out of the situation are kind of funny.
    Wilbur: I'm not- I wasn't doing anything! We just made Tubbo president, we -(nervous laugh) We, um... We elected Tubbo president, and we won! We won the war, Schlatt's gone, Schlatt's gone, Phil, so um...
    Phil: (skeptical) Uh-huh. Uh-huh. So... you are... where exactly now?
    Wilbur: Innnnnn... L'Manburg, the sor- the area- you wouldn't know, I don't think you've been here, it's the area around L'Man- It's complicated! It's complicated, geography and that, y'know, it's- it's geography and st-
    (Wilbur turns around to see that Phil has logged on right behind him)
    Wilbur: Oh. (Beat) Phil...
    Phil: M-hm.
    Wilbur: Uh...
    Phil: Yeah. "In L'Manburg", you said.
  • Technoblade uses a nametag to name one of the Withers "Subscribe to Technoblade." Even better, he can be heard saying that this is the most important part.
    • Relating to Withers, Techno’s fail when summoning them at the conclusion of his villain monologue.
    Techno: Do you want to be a hero, Tommy? THEN DIE LIKE ONE! (misplaces the Wither Skulls) Okay, why isn’t this spawning? Why is this not spawning? This is very awkward. [...] I hate this.
  • Somehow the only two structures in L'Manburg that were left undamaged in the explosion were a building made entirely of scaffolding, one of the most fragile blocks in the game, and a statue of Pokimane.
  • Despite Phil seeing the server's events through other people's streams, it's clear he doesn't quite know what he's gotten himself into once he finds things like Tommy's Inconvenient Hole and the giant sign in the sky that just says "CRY".
    Phil: ...chat, what server have I joined? What's going on?
  • The fact that, following the incident of him sleeping through the elections, George was off building a house while most of this was happening.
    George: (after all of the fighting was over) What actually happened? I'm confused. Were you guys fighting or something?
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Season Two

     The Reconstruction Arc 
  • Fundy tries to get coal off of Phil by attempting to scam him in an auction. He tries to convince Phil a grass block is valuable, then he tries to convince him that he has a golden shovel with Sharpness 6 (which is impossible to get in vanilla), then he tries to say the shovel has Silk Touch and Fortune on it (which are mutually exclusive), then he repeatedly tries to convince Phil that the chests he's throwing down have items in them. Phil is having none of it.
    Phil: You're trying to fool someone whose LAST NAME is "MINECRAFT!"
    • Fundy also tries to claim that a furnace he puts up for auction contains netherite, a very valuable material. What it does contain, however, is dried kelp... decidedly not valuable. When Phil tells it like it is, Fundy's last resort is to put Schlatt's netherite sword (which he dropped when he died and Fundy picked up) in the furnace... which Phil promptly grabs and runs off with.
  • While rebuilding his house, Tommy decides he wants a wife, and asks Phil - who is married - for advice. It doesn't go well.
    • Turns out Tommy's strategy for flirting is to just sit in the city center and stare at people, judging those who make eye contact to not be ready.
      Tommy: Worked plenty of times.
      Phil: Name one time it worked.
    • Phil explains that, if you want to get married in a church, the priest has to approve you first. Tommy immediately shoots that idea down.
      Tommy: Phil, no offense, but no priest is gonna approve of the things I get up to.
    • "If I WAP-ed hard enough, I'd get a girl."
    • Tommy, at one point, asks what he should name his wife. Phil's reaction really sells it.
    • Phil advises Tommy to get to know the person he wants to marry first, but Tommy says he doesn't want to.
      Phil: You can't just marry a stranger. I mean, you can marry a stranger, but it's kind of weird, and usually will end up in divorce.
      Tommy: No, I- I- Believe me. I will never get divorced.
      Phil: (snorts) Yeah, I mean, with the attitude you've got, how could anybody NOT want to stay with TommyInnit? He'll pick a great name for you!
    • At some point, Tommy asks to speak to Phil's wife, Kristin, to ask her for advice meeting women.
      Tommy: Well, how did you meet Phil?
      Kristin: Um... We met on- on Twitch! (laughs) So, I don't know, I guess meet women on Twitch?
      Phil: Oh, don't say that!
      Tommy: (bursts out laughing) OKAY, KRISTIN, KRISTIN, JESUS! There has been SIGNIFICANT proof throughout the years that that is a horrible, horrible, horrible idea!
    • After Kristin leaves, Wilbur joins the call, still clearly shaken up from having recently died and come back as a ghost. Tommy really doesn't care, though.
      Wilbur: Imagine you're on a long, long road, right? And the road's going on a really long time, and then you turn a corner and suddenly there's nothing forever and you're never allowed to see your family again. That's death.
      Tommy: ...okay, but how do I get a wife, though?
    • Tommy eventually decides he hates wives and wants to get rid of all of them.
      Tommy: Phil, question for a friend, how do I get my friend a divorce without him knowing?
    • Wilbur whispers to Tommy that they should gaslight Phil into thinking he doesn't have a wife. Tommy immediately pulls up a tab to google what gaslighting means.
  • Schlatt's Funeral. Especially Quackity's off-key autotune song.
  • "Listen to me, we have to be fuckin... fuckin... Not sexy. Stealthy!"
  • While looking through Ghostbur's book collection, Tubbo finds a book called "How To Sex 2" by Tommy. Ghostbur claims he found it in a barrel at the bottom of a river. Tommy is absolutely mortified, insisting it wasn't written by him. Judging from the content of the first page, it definitely was.
    Ghostbur: First page... "How to sex. Babies be like: 'Yo, I came out the verjina'. Hey, this is How To Sex 2, TommyInnit's novel. How To Sex 1 is so very unavailable."
  • While discussing his and Fundy's prank on Puffy, Tommy has a bit of a slip of the tongue.
    Tommy: Puffy's gonna be pissed off at us, but we can take Pussy. P- uh-
    (Tommy and Fundy both start laughing)
  • Dream, George and Sapnap did a stream when they were all extremely sleep deprived and giggly. This led to things like Dream screaming "I'M A LITTLE PISSBABY" with a high-pitched voice changer, George pretending to be Santa Claus, and this conversation.
    Dream: I have your delivery outside.
    Sapnap: Yeah, yeah, yeah-
    Dream: The 652 dildos that you ordered.
    Sapnap: Um... I- I thought that was supposed to be like, discreet. You're not really supposed to... talk about that.
    Dream: (wheezes, giggles) 652-
    Sapnap: Yeah, I'll be- I'll be out there in a second, my friends are gonna be so happy when I tell them what I'm bringing to the sleepover.
  • While Fundy's failed adoption was highly emotional, it did have funny moments.
    • After Eret fails to show up, Fundy quietly asks Phil if he has a spare bed, at which point Phil places down a crafting table and starts crafting a bed.
    • Fundy insisting he's crying, while he's visibly not.
      Fundy: I'm shaking and crying, Phil. I'm shaking and crying, I'm one of those silent criers, where it's- tears roll down my cheeks but I can still talk normally. I'm one of those people. I'm one of those people. I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm filling up cups of tears right now.
      Phil: Internal angst.
      Fundy: Oh my god... I'm shaking and crying, and peeing a little bit too.
    • After settling into Phil's place, Fundy discovers Jeff, the villager Phil has locked behind a hatch in his house. Fundy immediately assumes Jeff is a hostage, and starts furiously pouring water over his face.
      Fundy: I'M WATERBOARDING HIM!
      • Tubbo chooses this exact moment to join the call, leaving him extremely confused and concerned.
    • This chat message from Quackity.
      Quackity: while your family ignores you wilbur come snort some happy flour with me
    • Phil and Fundy have a quiet moment where Phil teaches Fundy how to fish... which is interrupted by Tubbo accidentally playing "Baby Shark".
      Tubbo: That is not the Ghostbusters theme!
    • After Fundy catches a fish, Phil throws the fish they caught back into the ocean, insisting they'll swim away, blatantly ignoring the very dead fish floating back up to the surface.
    • At one point, Fundy catches a salmon, which he just stares at in shock.
      Tubbo: Did you just fish up your mum? Oh my god... Now both your parents are dead! [...] Let Wilbur eat her!
      Phil: (Cracks)
      Fundy: Why do you mean it—TUBBO!!
      Tubbo: What?
      • Ghostbur joins the call to speak to Fundy, but gets very distracted by the salmon.
        Ghostbur: I don't really wanna go fishing, 'cause, I mean, you are- (inhale; sultry voice) That thing you're holding in your hand, Fundy... you're gonna make me act up if you keep holding that...
      • Phil immediately collapses into complete hysterics.
    • Right after Fundy calls Ghostbur out for continuously avoiding talks about any bad things he might have done, Ghostbur starts waxing poetically about the start of L'Manburg, then says he has to go have a meeting with Tubbo.
      Ghostbur: Tubbo, what are we- what are we meeting to talk about again?
      Tubbo: Serious, serious topics.
      Ghostbur: Mmmm! Serious!
      Tubbo: Like the political climate in Berlin!
      Ghostbur: The political climate in Berlin, yes!
      Tubbo: Where is Berlin? Who knows, that's what we need to know! Get on that!
      Ghostbur: That's what we're finding out today! [...] Hold on, let me go check on Google Earth where Berlin is! Hold on, let me just quickly go and check...
      Tubbo: Inform me when you have the answers please!
      Ghostbur: Oh wait, how do I open Google Earth? Is it this button that says Disconne- (leaves call)
  • Ranboo had a stream where he laid out his plans to run for President of L'Manburg, despite, y'know, not being on the server. His plans ranged from the fanservice-y (giving Philza an Elytra, protecting the L'Mantree, giving Tommy his view), to the weird (finding Sally and figuring out how the heck THAT happened, somehow making Wilbur even more dead, giving George an alarm clock), to the completely ridiculous (making Techno swear, punting Tommy, turning Purpled orange).
    • At one point, while chatting with Niki, Ranboo says he's going to try to hack into the server. The kicker? It works! Ranboo logs onto the server... at which point Dream starts hunting him down repeatedly until he flees into the Holy Land.
    • Ranboo's very first interaction with Tommy.
      Tommy: Hello, Ranboo.
      Ranboo: Hello...
      Tommy: How old are you?
      Ranboo: I am... a minor, and that's all I'm saying.
      Tommy: Wh-no... Wait. Were you born before or after April 9th, 2004?
      Ranboo: ...Before.
      Tommy: So you're younger than me.
      Ranboo: N-no. That means that I'm older.
      Tommy: (frustrated scream) WHY AM I STILL THE YOUNGEST?! I hate you, I hate you, oh my fucking god, you fucking idiot-
  • Ranboo made a sign in L'Manburg denoting how long it's been since the last war crime.
  • George and Fundy have a chess-match in the L'Manburg square. It's not entirely clear which piece is which, and the setup is not correct at all, but it does progress somewhat like a normal chess game... for about five turns, after which Karl throws a spell card (baked potato) onto the board and the game turns into Calvinball.
    Fundy: I'm bringing in Fullmetal Alchemist equivalent exchange! Water turns into ice. Torch... is a spy from behind. (somehow this results in George being in check)
  • After Tommy's trial, he, Tubbo, Fundy and Quackity have a very tense conversation... which is very embarrassingly interrupted by Tommy's mother.
    Tommy: Okay, from now on I won't, I'm sorry, alright? I won't-
    Tubbo: Okay, that's good, that's-
    (voice shouts something in the background)
    Tommy: Oh- YEAH?! (Beat) NO, I CAN'T EMPTY THE DISHWASHER, I'M LIVE! WHAT THE FUCK?!
    (everyone bursts out laughing)
    Tubbo: God DAMMIT! GOD DAMMIT!
    Tommy: I WILL, BUT I'M- MUM, I'M IN A S- I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF A WAR, MUM!
    (everyone laughs harder)
    Tommy: MUM, I'M LIVE! (turns back) As I was saying, this nation- (corpses)
    Tubbo: (still laughing) Surely not! Surely not!
    Tommy: As I was saying... Please do not animate that!
  • Fundy discovered that the server has a bug where striders float in the air. Considering Dream banned any mode of flight on the server, you bet he had a field day with that.
  • While the meeting with Dream was incredibly serious, Tommy's attempts to keep his composure are pretty funny. He mutes himself several times to vent his anger to his chat, and is seen constantly making indignant faces at the camera.
    Tommy: (calmly) Dream is taunting me. He's sending me smiley faces. He's being all... he's being... What's a nice way to put this... Um... Uh... He's being a huge bitch.
  • Tubbo suggests that, instead of drawing the final conclusion of whether or not to exile Tommy on Saturday, Dream's deadline, they do it on Friday, saying that if they take too long, they'll just guilt over it endlessly.
    Tommy: Tubbo be like, "MCC is on Saturday and I've just remembered."
    Tubbo: OH MY GOD, IS MCC ON SATURDAY?!
    • While discussing their next move, the group suddenly notices that Connor has been standing there, silently, for several minutes.
      Tubbo: Connor, please, give us your valid input!
      Connor: I honestly- I've been listening, I don't know what the hell is going on or why you guys are talking about dicks, but I- Listen, I think- I think whatever you guys are doing is great, and uh, keep it up, I trust our world leaders.
    • Tommy completely ruining the point Quackity was trying to make.
      Quackity: If we give that man, at the end of the day, what he wants, then... what does that make us?
      Tubbo: No better than him...
      Tommy: Pussies. Big pussies.
  • Connor had claimed a piece of land near L'Manburg to build his house on, thinking it was completely perfect... until he looked up, and saw the giant sign saying "YOU <3 LITTLE PENIS" in the sky. Tommy immediately named the plot "Little Penis Land".

     The Exile Arc 
  • Ghostbur's Innocent Innuendo.
    Ghostbur: I've got wood!
    Tommy: Wilb- Ghostbur, Ghostbur, listen to me-
    Ghostbur: (whispers) I've got wood.
    Tommy: (snorts) I don't think you quite understand the gravity of that sentence.
    (Beat)
    Ghostbur: Mmmmmm...
    Tommy: (laughs) OKAY, that's- Two feet apart from now on...
  • After recalling Tommy's duel with Dream, Ghostbur repeatedly reassures Tommy that everyone thinks he's cool and no-one would laugh at him.
    Ghostbur: No-one in this call, no-one on this server, would possibly think you're a bad person or make fun of your failures.
    Tommy: ...Thank you.
    Ghostbur: No-one would laugh at you. You did really good.
    Techno: PHA HA HA, LOOK AT THIS LOSER! Oh my god, this is the funniest thing I've ever seen!
  • Tommy and Wilbur become obsessed with logs, to the point where they name their new nation Logstedshire.
    Tommy: Hey Logbur! Hey Logbur!
    Wilbur: Yeah?
    Tommy: I want you to call me Loggyinnit from now on!
    Wilbur: (struggling to hold back laughter) I'm not going to do that!
    Tommy: (laughing) Please do that, I need it.
    Wilbur: No, it's very important that I don't do that.
    • Because Tommy no longer has access to the Prime Path, he places down the Prime Log, which he uses to farm primes. What follows is about ten minutes of Tommy playing very upbeat music whenever the log comes into view, even in the middle of very serious conversations.
    • At one point, an apple falls onto the Prime Log, and Tommy spends a solid three minutes yelling about how much he wants to eat it, while Ghostbur desperately tries to gather the materials for an item frame.
      Ghostbur: HE DIDN'T DROP LEATHER! WHAT KIND OF FUCKING COW DOESN'T DROP LEATHER IN 2020?!
      • When Ghostbur places the apple into an item frame, Tommy stops and suddenly seems to realize just how ridiculous they're both acting.
        Tommy: ...Wilbur, I reckon we've gone insane. It only took us two nights in the wilderness!
    • Tommy can suddenly hear logs speaking to him.
      Tommy: (struggling not to laugh) There's some logs here. I wonder what they're- What are they saying to me? (presses his ear up against the logs) Ah yes. That's very racist.
  • Tommy logs on while dramatically telling his chat that he's now completely alone... only to see Bad building a present for him right in front of his face once the world loads in.
  • Tommy says that watching people play video games is weird.
  • George and Quackity posting dumb pictures of themselves and everyone.
  • In an attempt to make conversation with Dream, Tommy asks what the worst thing he's ever done to another human being is.
    Dream: I cut some of my sister's hair off... (laughs)
    Tommy: Really? That's terrible.
    Dream: Terrible, I feel terrible about it.
    Wilbur: That- That is really bad. Did you know, apparently I once blew up a nation and killed everyone.
  • At one point, Tommy starts talking to the narrator, typing messages in chat for it to read back to him in order to pretend he has a friend. It takes approximately five seconds for everyone else to fill the chat with swear words.
    TommyInnit: Hi
    TommyInnit: How are you
    TommyInnit: Im good too!
    Punz: PISS
    Punz: SHIT
    Ph1lzA: cock
    Ponk: pEEE
  • At one point, while Phil is visiting, Dream jumps onto the Prime Log and takes off his armor, while Tommy plays upbeat music and cheers him on. Dream then tells Tommy to keep a lookout for Phil, and as soon as Phil says he's loading up the stream, Tommy runs away.
    Phil: WHY IS DREAM NAKED?!
    Tommy: HE'S NOT NAKED, HE'S NOT NAKED!
    Dream: I'M NOT, I'M NOT, MY CLOTHES ARE ON!
    Phil: I want that green boy out of this house!
  • Techno and Phil went on a journey to get turtles. There was a lot of banter involved.
    • Techno planned to meet up with Phil in L'Manburg, but Phil logged off in one of his secret bases and thus took a while to get back. Techno, in the meantime, hid in plain sight by pretending to be his own Wanted-poster.
      • Tubbo caught him, but was too confused to do anything and just left him be.
      • Ranboo kept throwing potatoes at him out of amusement.
      • When Phil finally got back to L'Manburg, he immediately noticed Techno standing in front of the poster. That did not stop him from checking every poster in town while loudly asking his chat just where Techno was.
    • Techno very dramatically reveals that the reason for his violent tendencies is because he constantly hears voices in his head demanding blood. Then he completely ruins it by revealing he only introduced that plot point to get more people to subscribe to him.
      Techno: Okay, roleplayin' over. You see what I just did there, chat? You see what I just did? All of you guys are now canon! You're all canon now, but if you're in any other streamer's chat, you're not canon, 'cause their chat's not canon. Therefore, you should come over to Technoblade's livestream chat, to be part of the storyline.
    • Techno and Phil stumble upon a village. Techno only takes one of their bells, deeming it enough. Phil, meanwhile, starts stealing everything that's not bolted to the floor.
      Techno: "Take the second bell." I don't need a second bell. I mean, I don't wanna be rude, chat, I mean... I only need the one bell, they need a bell! I mean, come on, chat, let's not be- (Phil steals the second bell) Okay, well, Philza needed a second bell apparently! Here I was, trying to be a good person, resisting the voices, and Phil's like "Lemme just solve that dilemma for you!"
      • When Techno calls him out for stealing resources he doesn't even need, Phil responds by killing everything in sight just to prove a point. It's telling that Techno is the one to call Phil out for his violent tendencies.
      • Right as Phil delivers the killing blow to an Iron Golem, a thunderstorm starts up.
        Techno: THE GODS ARE ANGRY! I DON'T KNOW THAT MAN!
    • The only thing that gets Techno to genuinely scream in fear is whenever a baby zombie goes anywhere near Phil.note 
      Phil: That one time. One time out of five years, by the way, ONE time! ONE night!
      Techno: I mean, it's clearly the biggest risk, Phil. None of the other mobs killed you in five years.
      • The funniest of these by far was Techno flying into a screaming panic to kill a baby zombie, then letting Phil handle a Charged Creeper.
    • A few days earlier, Tommy accidentally pasted a portion of the script into the Minecraft-chat, mostly outlining the meeting between Tubbo and Dream. Techno pokes fun at this moment by doing the same thing, except the bit he pastes is about Dream doing a sick backflip into a volcano and dying while President Obama watches.
  • Tommy has a very sad, very dramatic moment where he builds a platform to scream out his frustrations, except when it comes down to it, he finds himself unable to scream... until a ghast spawns right next to him and sends him running back to the portal, shrieking like a banshee.
  • Tommy sorrowfully tells his chat he isn't sure how much longer he can hold on, and that any day might be the last for him. He resolves that before his death he needs to complete one last task for the world he's leaving behind... write How To Sex 3.
  • When Fundy, Niki and Ranboo travel away from spawn in search of a new home, they find a herd of cows. Fundy is impressed by the distance they must have travelled to find live animals... And then Ranboo starts killing them.
    Fundy: No-one's been here yet, you're right! And now we've just made them extinct, okay.
    Ranboo: Heh, get it? A miSTEAK?
    (Beat)
    Fundy: I regret bringing you.
    Ranboo: Yeah, I regret coming!
  • The Crimson takes over Skeppy's mind and causes him to lose all care for anything, including his friends. BadBoyHalo and Puffy attempt to bring him back to normal...by standing on a crafting table together to make him jealous.
  • The return of Drista was, of course, hilarious.
    • To prevent her from dying and losing all of Dream's gear, Drista is in creative mode the entire time. Tommy was given no heads-up, and is thus wholly unprepared when Drista flies in and starts breaking parts of his base.
      • Drista continually punches holes in Tommy's nether bridge in an attempt to send him falling into lava, but ends up walking into her own holes and falling... several times.
      • She proceeds to pretty much ruin the server's economy by giving Tommy and Tubbo a piece of bedrock, and accidentally giving Punz a shulker box. It's when she's seconds away from handing Techno an Elytra that Dream manages to stop her.
    • The Running Gag of Tommy encouraging Drista to stab Dream in the eye with a fork.
    • Tommy constantly tries to goad Drista into using her admin abilities to give him more power. When she refuses to make him a server operator, Tommy tells her to type /ban Dream.
      Drista: I'm not banning myself!
      Tommy: (laughs) It's not you, you're Drista! Don't- You're having an identity crisis, it's okay! Puberty does these things to you, I thought I was Tom Cruise for like a whole week!
      • Drista finally agrees... And then bans Techno.
        Techno: You're so bad at spellin'. So bad at spellin'. None of those letters were the same at all.
      • Drista then proceeds to ban Sam and Tubbo as well. While she manages to unban Sam and Techno, she fails to unban Tubbo, who spends the rest of Tommy's stream angrily spamming the chat.
    • At one point, while Tommy and Dream are arguing, Drista finds the first draft of How To Sex 3. Tommy and Dream fly into a panic and immediately drop everything to stop her from reading it.
    • After getting back to Logstedshire, Tommy mentions the time Dream cut off a part of Drista's hair. However, Drista said that never happened, and that Tommy is thinking of the wrong sister.
      Tommy: WOAH, WAITWAITWAITWAITWAIT, HOLD ON! The wrong-
      Drista: Yeah, that's the other sister, that's not me.
      (Beat)
      Tommy: WHAT?!
      Dream: I said when I was young, you probably weren't even born then!
      Tommy: THERE'S TWO OF YOU?!
  • Because English is not Fundy's first language, he sometimes forgets how certain idioms end. This leads to moments like these.
    Fundy: It's time to kick ass and chew... ass. (bursts out laughing)note 
  • Corpse Husband joins the server and gets a tour from Karl Jacobs. Karl spends time talking about how he built everything and how the whole server essentially revolved around him. Also during this, time, we see Corpse's skin; the cat Bingus that went viral earlier in 2020 wearing a Hooters outfit.
  • During Tommy's final stream in Logstedshire, both he and Dream died in ways that required them to put the scene on hold. They both joke that those deaths are going in the Blooper-reel.
  • A similar blooper moment is when, during his chat with Quackity, Tommy jumps and misses a platform, dying in the process. Like before, people joke about it being canon, but then Techno takes it a step further once Tommy threatens to write him out.
    Technoblade: I'm gonna write a whole arc where you have to, like, completely leave all the relevalent areas and sit there and be sad for weeks... OH WAIT! OH WAIT! That already happened!
  • In a bit of Black Comedy, Tommy refers to his impending suicide attempt as "jumping off the Cadillac" (the original quote is "Jump in the Cadillac").
  • The confrontation between the Butcher's Army and Technoblade had plenty of funny moments.
    • Ghostbur's general lack of understanding of what's going on.
      • When Techno steps out of his house to confront the Butcher's Army, Ghostbur starts frantically telling them that Techno isn't home.
        Techno: Little late for that, Ghostbur.
      • Phil - who was under house arrest and definitely not supposed to be there - was hiding in the treeline to observe the fight, being very stealthy... Until Ghostbur started waving at him.
      • Ghostbur excitedly tells Techno that he's named his sheep Friend - While Techno is in a cage about to be executed, and Punz is running around placing TNT all over the square.
      • Then there's Ghostbur just completely shattering the fourth wall.
        Phil: I don't know where Techno is...
        Ghostbur: We could always watch his stream!
    • After Techno's failed execution, Phil starts heckling the Butcher's Army from his balcony.
      Phil: L. L.
      Tubbo: Philza Minecraft- Jesus Christ, I hate your grandpa, Fundy.
      Phil: L!
      Fundy: Phil, we're canonically far away from you, we wouldn't hear you, shut up!
      Phil: (with reverb) L!!
    • When Quackity respawns after losing a canon life, Ghostbur starts coming up with ghost-names for him... Which ends with him accidentally calling him "Ghost-titty".
    • Ghostbur asks Phil why everyone keeps trying to kill Techno. Phil, knowing Ghostbur will just forget instantly if he tells him the truth, says it's because they like the taste of pork.
    • Ghostbur gets bored and starts poking at the rain outside.
      Ghostbur: It's still raining.
      Phil: Yeah, don't- Don't touch it.
      (hiss)
      Ghostbur: That was- that was me touching the rain!
      Phil: (exasperated) I told you not to touch it! I literally told you not to touch it- what are you doing?
      (more hissing)
      Phil: YOU'LL MELT! Wil, for god's-
      Ghostbur: (giggling)
      Phil: This isn't a funny matter!
    • After checking on Techno and getting back home, Phil had a quiet moment with his chat. Which he then completely ruined by dropping a line that sent the entire chat into a frenzy screaming at him to stop.
      Phil: Well... Guess I'm Homestuck.
    • Techno, after a harrowing escape, returns home... And finds that Tommy has stolen a bunch of his stuff and made himself at home in a hole under the basement. Tommy sees absolutely nothing wrong with this, considers it his home, and repeatedly asks Techno to leave.
      Tommy: I don't know why you're here.
      Techno: I LIVE HERE!

     The Vengeance Arc 
  • Technoblade and Tommyinnit sneak off to L'Manburg to breed Techno's dog with Connor's dog. However, Tommy ruins it by going up to Connor while invisible and leading Clarencio the llama, even pretending to be Clarencio. Connor just logs off in pure confusion.
    Connor: Tommy?!
    Tommy: (with a fake Spanish accent) Nonono, Connor, not Tommy, Clarencio, come up and look at me, look at me!
    Technoblade: You're pretendin' to be the llama?!
  • Tommy, while invisible, leads Clarencio around L'Manburg, while being consistently spat on. He even manages to kill Ranboo by getting him into the crossfire. He also casually mentions killing the llama's owner a while ago, not understanding why the llama is still upset after five minutes.
    • When Ranboo was killed some of the items he dropped were his body parts, much like what happens when you kill a normal mob.
  • Dream's search for Tommy at Techno's place highlighted the fact that Techno and Ghostbur are as bad at lying as Tommy is at hiding.
    • When Dream asked Techno if he had seen Tommy around, Techno pretended not to know who Tommy is... despite the fact that Tommy is his best friend's son, who Techno lived with for weeks and fought a war with.
    • Ghostbur is worse at lying than Techno is. When Dream asked him if he had seen Tommy around, Ghostbur lapsed into a long silence, before uncomfortably answering no. Then when Dream found the to-do list and asked who wrote it, Ghostbur happily told him that Tommy wrote it.
    • Tommy was not helping his case. From accidentally throwing the last invisibility potion on Techno instead of himself, to constantly opening the trap door he was hidden behind, even with Dream in the room, to standing right behind Dream while invisible, to loudly eating a golden apple when Dream was right downstairs.
  • When Dream shows up to tell Techno he knows that Tommy has been at his house, Techno takes a page out of Tommy's book and bullies Dream until he leaves.
    • When Dream says he knows Tommy has been there, Techno falls silent... Then thanks a donator. Then continues thanking donators every time Dream opens his mouth. People eventually start donating just so Techno can keep stalling, and start calling it a filibuster.
    • When Dream brings up the story of Theseus and asked how Theseus died in the end, Techno said he was "yeeted off a cliff by some guy". Dream presses him on who killed Theseus, but Techno says he doesn't remember.
      Dream: He gets yeeted off of the cliff by the guy who was the king of the island that he took refuge on after exile. Now, I'm not pointing this out for any particular reason-
      Techno: You don't know his name either, do you?note 
    • Dream walks around the house, pointing out all of the things that were very obviously made by Tommy. Techno continues to lie, saying that the cobblestone tower outside was naturally generated, and that he put "build a girlfriend" on the to-do list because "not all of us can be Chads". Dream's frustration is tangible.
      Dream: "GET TECHNOBLADE'S WEAPONS!" HOW- HOW COULD YOU WRITE "GET TECHNOBLADE'S WEAPONS?!"
      Techno: Dude, I speak in the third person all the time. Haven't you heard my key phrase, "Technoblade never dies?" I say it all the time, Dream.
      Dream: Okay, listen. "Cringe therapy", but spelled wrong.
      Techno: ...It's a hard word to spell.
      Dream: No, it's- YOU ARE AN ENGLISH MAJOR!
      Techno: I DROPPED OUT OF COLLEGE BECAUSE MINECRAFT WAS THE ONLY THING I HAD THE INTELLECTUAL CAPACITY FOR!
    • When Techno calls Dream out for barging into his house, he suddenly realizes that Dream doesn't even have a house. Techno immediately starts heckling him for being homeless, while Dream insists he has a giant house with redstone and that nobody's seen it because it's very far away and he keeps it secret.
      Techno: "It just seems so rude, do I barge into your house Dream? And start looking through your stuff, and commenting on your suspicious to do list on your wall? Actually do you even have a house? I've never seen you in a house."
      Dream: "Ah, I do have a house. It's very very far from here."
      Techno: "Do you like- are you homeless? Is this like-"
      Dream: "No I'm not- I'm not homeless I do have a house."
      Techno: "-you just don't want to admit you don't have a house. Do you sleep outside Dream?"
      Dream: "I have a house- I don't even sleep, but i do have a house."
      Techno: "Proof, prove you have a house, bring me to it."
      Dream: "No, I'm not gonna take you to my house."
      Techno: "Dude this guy doesn't have a house."
      Dream: "I have a house!"
      Techno: "He owns the Minecraft, he owns the Minecraft server and he never builds a house."
      Dream: "I HAVE A HOUSE!!"
      Techno: "Cause all he does is show up ominously on peoples streams"
      Dream: "I have a giant house far away."
      Techno: "You wouldn't know my house it goes to another school, it goes to another school!"
      Dream: "I. HAVE. A HOUSE!!! What is- Technoblade alright, I'm leaving! What the hell is wrong with-"
      • It gets better. Techno chases Dream as he leaves, though he stops heckling him near the end of their conversation and sincerely offers Dream a place to stay. The long pause following the offer makes it seem as if Dream is seriously considering the offer.
      • When Dream eventually leaves, Techno follows him until he stops in the middle of a tundra and starts building a house. Techno gathers invisibility potions and just spies on Dream the entire time, playing the default Minecraft-music while narrating Dream's actions.
      • He even sneaks into Dream's house and starts reading his diary, which sounds like something written by a child, let alone a 21 year old Minecraft YouTuber.
      Techno: (reading Dream's diary) Dear Diary, today I worked on my house. Tomorrow, I want to build a basement! It's going to be the biggest base ever.
  • George shows Ranboo Dream's old base, and demonstrates to Ranboo key spots on Dream's old base which allow access to all of the chests... as a setup to kill Ranboo by dropping him down a deep pit by breaking the block the latter's under. Unfortunately Ranboo hits water that had been placed quite a while before they visited the old base, despite George informing that the redstone ore prevents any possible water bucket trick (said water's source block is right under the floor).
    George: ...Which conveniently makes it very accessible, to get redstone. (breaks the wood block underneath Ranboo)
    Ranboo: (looks down) Oh...
    George: (looks down and sees water below Ranboo) Oh okay there's water there now!
    Ranboo: (hits water) There's water.
    George: Oh my god! (laughter) Why is there water there?
    Ranboo: I did not have water on my hotbar!
    • George tries again, but fails again (Ranboo ends up with 3 hearts remaining) due to Ranboo wearing netherite armor.
      Ranboo: ...Wow! I can access all the chests!
      George: And that means you can get easy access to redstone! (breaks the wood block underneath Ranboo)
      Ranboo: (maintaning tone whilst falling down) Oh man redstone, I can't believe it! (hits the bottom and survives)
      George: (laughter)
      Ranboo: (laughter), I have, like 3 hearts...
    • Even more hilariously, this proves Dream hadn't exactly been lying to Technoblade when telling him he had a house.
  • Bad thought that with Tommy exiled, he could escape the curse words. Then Quackity invited KSI. Hilarity Ensues.
  • While KSI's class on sexual education is hilarious, its even more funny that Bad was silent most of the time in the classroom, too fearful of KSI's repeated NSFW words.
  • Phil's final stream in L'Manburg had plenty of funny moments.
    • Ghostbur puts Friend in Phil's house to keep him company in house arrest, then logs off. He then proceeds to log on every minute or so and ask if Friend is okay, despite the fact that he keeps logging in two feet away from Friend.
    • Whenever Ghostbur leaves, he breaks Phil's door and takes it with him. He says it's because he can't pass through it, apparently having never considered the fact that he can just open the door.
      Phil: STOP STEALING MY DOORS
      Ghostbur: but they get in my way
      Phil: YOU ARE LITERALLY A GHOST
      Ghostbur: not all ghosts can walk through walls phil
      Ghostbur: thats spectrophobic
    • At one point, Phil pops up from his basement to see that Friend is gone. Phil is entirely unconcerned, casually telling Ghostbur that Friend is probably dead. Ghostbur immediately panics and runs off, eventually finding Friend by the Camarvan.
      Ghostbur: you are the worst petsitter
      Ghostbur: i am very sad
      Phil: i never agreed to this
    • When Fundy asks who Friend is, Ghostbur replies in Dutch. However, his message gets a bit lost in translation, and Fundy now believes Friend is Ghostbur's girlfriend.note 
    • Tubbo shows up at Phil's house, having seen him take off the ankle monitor. He gives Phil a new one, this time with Curse of Binding on it, and tries to give him a monitor helmet as well - also with Curse of Binding. Phil immediately hands the helmet off to Ghostbur, who puts it on right away, then regrets it when he realizes he can't take it off.
      • Eventually, Tubbo gets tired of the shenanigans, getting the helmet back from Ghostbur and ordering Phil to stand still with an empty hand so he's sure Phil put on the right helmet. And then he accidentally puts the helmet on himself. Tubbo decides that, now that the helmet is stuck on his head, he has to be in house arrest too and spends the rest of the stream following Phil around like a duckling.
    • Ghostbur and Phil start coming up with ghost-names for Tubbo. It ends when Phil suggests "Toast", and both of them start laughing uncontrollably.
    • Techno joins the call after thirty minutes of stealthily sneaking into L'Manburg to break Phil out, only to realize that everyone has broken character and is talking about completely unrelated things.
      Techno: You guys are so bad at plot. Please. Why are you so lame? I'm sitting here in infiltration, I'm like "Okay, they're- I've been talking to Phil, we're gonna have some plot." [...] My audience retention is in shambles, why have you guys done this to me?
    • "If you canonically kill me I'm gonna canonically shoot you."
  • During one stream, Tommy called Phil in order to verify whether or not it was okay to make fun of vegans. However, when Phil picked up, he was still in complete hysterics over a video of Gordon Ramsay failing to make a grilled cheese sandwich, to the point where Tommy starts to seriously question whether or not he's drunk.
    Phil: I honestly believe he fucked up half-way through cooking it, and was like "Ah, shit. I've hired- I've hired a camera crew and everything... Aw fuck, um... just roll with it, roll with it. Uh, y-yeah, it's good, it's good! Aw, that's good melted cheese!" It's literally solid. (laughs) You can see it in the fucking video... (laughing harder)
    • In that same stream, Tommy looked over the to-do list, contemplating whether the "minor terrorism in L'manberg" task was really something he had to do... and then looked at Bob the cow, who nodded back at him. Tommy immediately complies.
  • During the conflict between the Greater Dream SMP and Mexican L'Manburg, Techno and Phil were online and saw the many angry chat messages and deaths flying by. They immediately started poking fun at them by behaving like pacifistic hippies.
    Techno: hey phil want a dandelion my friend
    Phil: sure best bud
  • Tommy places down signs with threatening titles (Operation Knife Point, Slashclaw) and countdown signsnote  across the server as a means to intimidate the server with Ineffectual Death Threats performed by some sort of individual no one knows. It gets silly when it turns out there is someone who knows the culprit behind the threats, and that's Ranboo.
    Ranboo: (reads the sign saying "OPERATION: KNIFE POINT") Oh, Tommy's been here. (sees the cobblestone letters and numbers that make up the phrase "2 DAYS") Oh yeah, no- Tommy's definitely been here. (Beat) Who else would do that? Who else would do that? Think about it. Who else would do that? No one else would do that. Especially, like- no one else would do that. It's definitely Tommy. (laughter)
    • Ranboo knows Tommy's the culprit because of the common behaviour Tommy exhibits when building things in a short timeframe: taking advantage of the preexisting terrain, and being too lazy to use scaffolding (as he noticed on the "2 DAYS" sign).
      Ranboo: You know why he built it here chat? Because he was too lazy to use scaffolding, so he decides to just, put it right here [the edge of the cliff where Punz's house is located] so that he could build out, so that he doesn't have to use scaffolding. AND its out of cobblestone.
    • His chat starts yelling out names other than Tommy in an attempt to convince him that Tommy isn't the culprit, which only allows Ranboo to confirm who isn't behind the threatening signs, and when the chat tries to throw Tommy into the list, it backfires too.
      Ranboo: ...It was Dream? Ah, ok ok. Yes yes, tell me everyone who that it wasn't. Tell me everyone that it wasn't, because then that just tells me who it was! Chat, you guys realise that literally every single person that you're putting in chat I can now cross off of the list, because I know that you're trying to- And now you guys are putting- And NOW, see- NOW you guys are putting Tommy as soon as I said that!
  • On Christmas day, while making preparations to go back to the Dream SMP, Tommy gets a visit from Hbomb. In classic Tommy-fashion, he immediately starts plotting to drop Hbomb into lava... until Hbomb gives him his Christmas present.
    Tommy: I might just kill Hbomb.
    Hbomb: (in chat) merry xmas (puts a Pigstep-disc in an item frame)
    Tommy: I will not kill Hbomb!
    • Turns out the reason Tommy wanted a Pigstep-disc isn't because he likes the song, but because he figured out a way to weaponize it. The song "Pigstep" is copyrighted, so by playing it near other people, Tommy can instantly hit everyone in his vicinity with a copyright-claim.
      • Tommy then tries to get Hbomb to rap to Pigstep with him. Hbomb instantly panics and logs off.
    • Later, when Tommy is working on his house, BadBoyHalo comes up to him, very excited to give him his Christmas-present... and gives him another Pigstep-disc.
      Tommy: Y'know when... your mum gives you a gift that you already have on Christmas morning... and you have to pretend to be really, really grateful?
  • Techno gives Tommy a (belated) Christmas present in the form of an enchanted turtle helmet and Techno's Canon Disc, a renamed "Wait"-disc. Tommy is completely over the moon.
    Tommy: Oh my god, if there was a Hug-button, I would press it! Holy shit!
    Techno: I'm glad there's not a Hug-button. I am pressing the Boundaries-button.
    • Techno actually wanted to wear the turtle helmet himself to look cool, but once he put it on he realized that the helmet covers his eyes, making him look incredibly silly.
  • Techno and Tommy hold Connor for ransom in return for Techno's gear, an otherwise tense hostage situation which is immediately ruined by the fact that everyone is wearing Christmas hats.
    Technoblade: Tommy, that entire time we had Christmas hats on, it was ruinin' the moment.
  • Tubbo and Ranboo eventually agree to return some of Techno's items in return for freeing Connor, who is immediately killed by a spider.
  • When Techno and Tommy are confronted by Dream, Techno tells Tommy not to be scared of Dream because he's homeless.
    Techno: (whispering) Tommy, don't be scared. He doesn't have no house. He don't got no home, Tommy, don't be scared.
    Tommy: Is he a homeless man?
    Dream: No I'm not.
    Tommy: Oh I hate homeless people.
    Techno: That's a lot- that's a lot to process, Tommy.
  • During Techno's confrontation with Dream, he mentions the favor he owes Dream. Tommy, who did not know about this, starts asking about it.
    Techno: Don't ask questions, Tommy. The adults are speaking.
    Tommy: (offended) Hey!
    (everyone starts Corpsing)
    Techno: I really just BM'd you in the middle of the lore, didn't I?!
    Tommy: What the fuck?!
  • After the confrontation with Dream, Tommy, who was bouncing around the Nether completely giddy and hyped up on adrenaline, confidently shoots at a ghast with his crossbow... forgetting that it was loaded with invisibility arrows. Cue Tommy frantically scrambling for cover while screaming for Techno to come help, now besieged by an angry, invisible ghast.
  • Technoblade looks up the world ant population- and immediately starts complementing ants, trying to get them to subscribe.
  • During Ranboo's long, panicked rant in his panic room, he throws some items out into the ocean... which attract a nearby dolphin that proceeds to swim into the room and flop around, now stuck. Ranboo has to interrupt his dramatic monologue to get the dolphin back into the water.
    Ranboo: Oh. Hey, you're not supposed to be in here... 'kay, well, you're really gonna ruin the mood, aren't you?
  • The festival, while one of the most tense and emotional moments of the server's history, did have funny moments.
    • Everyone is dead silent during Dream and Techno's speech about nuking L'Manburg... Until Tommy accidentally kills Tubbo's dog, at which point everyone starts gasping in horror and yelling at Tommy.
    • While meeting up with Techno and Philza, Tommy starts yelling that Philza invented Minecraft and named it after himself, which Techno enthusiastically agrees with.
    • After Techno and Dream leave the ruins of the Community House, Tommy is left completely surrounded by pretty much everyone on the server.
      Tommy: Heyyy... Literally everyone.
      Tubbo: Y-Yeah, you've got quite the full house here...
      Jack: Half a house.
    • Tommy's speech to everyone was awesome. Then again, it's Tommy, so it did have its gems.
      • Tommy says he lost track of time in exile because they didn't have clocks. Ignoring that there are no clocks anywhere on the SMP, since everyone checks the time by looking at the position of the sun.
      • Tommy places down three chests, telling everyone to fill them up with supplies. He then proceeds to confusedly ask why everyone is checking the chests, because he literally just placed them, they know there's nothing in them.
      • Tommy throws a pretty backhanded insult while telling everyone to come together.
        Tommy: So please, I don't care what your differences is, I don't care if you're the king, or if you're Ponk-
        Ponk: Huh?!
      • Mid-speech, Tommy realizes that Quackity has once again taken his clothes off.
        Tommy: Hello, naked man at the front! You are so not noble...
        Tubbo: Big Q, you have not changed one bit, Big Q.
      • When Niki snaps at Tommy for hesitating after she and Sam told him to swear he didn't blow up the Community House, Tommy snaps back at her... Then immediately regrets it.
        Tommy: Well, watch this, lady! I- Pfft, sorry, there's only like two ladies in the audience and now I look sexist, I'm not, I love women.
  • During the otherwise serious scene of Ranboo freaking out in his panic room with Dream, discord, (which you can hear having issues throughout most of it just from Dream's audio quality), chooses to break right in the middle of it and Dream has to break character and interject a quick break to try to fix it.
  • This exchange at the start of the Doomsday War, showing just how much of a Deadpan Snarker Techno can be.
    Tommy: You said there were thirty minutes!
    Techno: Oh no, did we lie?
  • Remember the Pokimane statue? Somehow Dream's destruction and Philza's withers have avoid touching it entirely, along with Jack Manifold's house also being spared.
  • After Doomsday, Ghostbur makes a dramatic entrance, angrily telling Tommy, Tubbo and Quackity that he's done being a ghost and wants to be brought back to life... and then Tommy gets struck by lightningnote . It's so unexpected and out of the blue that everyone in the server immediately starts corpsing for several minutes.
    Technoblade: SO LONG, THESEUS!
    BadBoyHalo: Roasty toasty

     The Disunion Arc 
  • After learning that Ranboo has memory problems, Tommy immediately ropes Tubbo into trying to scam him out of his armor by pretending to be various family members of his and demanding he take his clothes off since they're inside the house.
    Ranboo: Your family members had you guys take off your clothes? Are you okay?!
    • When Ranboo doesn't fall for their trick, Tommy pulls Tubbo into his back room where they proceed to essentially swap clothes (Tubbo takes off his suit jacket and Tommy puts on a suit over his normal skin), then rush out and try the exact same thing again. They proceed to do this multiple times, despite Ranboo not having any of it.
  • During the stream, Twitch had a major server outage, resulting in viewers being unable to follow, subscribe, use the chat, or in some areas, even watch the stream. Tommy and Ranboo decide that, now that nobody is watching, they can break the Twitch Terms of Service as much as they want.
    Ranboo: WHO WANTS TO WATCH EVERY EPISODE OF FAMILY GUY IN ORDER?!
    Tommy: They deleted my subs? Well, two can play it that game. Tubbo, whats the worst word you know, I'm gonna update my title.
    • "I think when they blew up L'Manburg, they also blew up half of the Twitch-servers!"
  • The first attempt at resurrecting Ghostbur is incredibly clumsy.
    • It starts when Ghostbur walks towards the shrine, falls into a pit, respawns, forgets the pit is there, and falls again. Rinse and repeat.
    • Eret made a shrine for Ghostbur with a bunch of things that represent him, hoping to jog his memory. One of the things he adds is a salmon he renamed Sally. Problem is, Ghostbur does not remember Sally at all, continuously pronounces her name as "Say-lee", manages to get her to clip through the floor, and when she's accidentally killed, he EATS HER, while remarking how salmon is his favorite food.
      Ghostbur: Who the fuck are you?
    • In order to get into the right mindset, Ghostbur and Phil act out the scene in the button room again, with all the seriousness and acting quality of an eighth grade musical rehearsal.
      • Ghostbur hands everyone their roles, with himself as Wilbur, Philza as Philza, Eret as Eret, and Ranboo as Tubbo. He's about to start the scene when he suddenly spots Tommy looking at them all, confused.
        Ghostbur: I can't work under these conditions, mister Director!
      • Because they didn't actually have TNT to detonate, Phil and Ghostbur just make explosion sounds with their mouths. Ghostbur then asks Tommy to simulate the explosion. Tommy lights a single fire and calls it good.
      • Ghostbur constantly forgets his line before he presses the button, incidentally also the most iconic line in the server's history.
        Ghostbur: What was my line again? It was always never meant- what, be!
        Phil: No, no-
        Fundy: Ehhh, it's close, it's close.
        Ghostbur: It wasn't the one to happen!
        (everyone making disapproving sounds)
        Ghostbur: Never be the happen!
    • When Ghostbur starts getting second thoughts, he asks Tommy for advice on whether or not to revive Wilbur, saying that Tommy told him he wanted Wilbur back.
      Tommy: Wilbur's not like you, Ghostbur...
      Ghostbur: ...in what way?
      Tommy: Well, y'know, you're very uh... You're all poggers. But...
      Ghostbur: (quietly) I am quite poggers...
      Tommy: (whispers) Ghostbur... Wilbur's not so poggers.
      Ghostbur: Phil, I dunno if I want to be not so poggers...
    • After the first resurrection attempt fails, Ghostbur is absolutely fuming.
      Ghostbur: That was bloody anticlimactic! I was- I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA BE DEAD! NOW I'M JUST DOUBLE GHOST! I'M GGHOSTBUR! I'M GGHOSTBUR, WHAT THE FRICK?!
    • While looking for friend, Ghostbur suddenly disappears into thin air. Phil, Eret and Fundy are immediately concerned, wondering whether or not he got pulled back into the afterlife, calling out for him as they pull friend back to the spot he disappeared from. Turns out the reason why Ghostbur vanished was because Wilbur kicked his router by accident.
      Ghostbur: My router had a canon death.
      Phil: (laughing) God, that's the most scuffed shit...
    • Ghostbur hanging a massive lampshade on the morality of the server.
      Ghostbur: I feel like a lot of things that happen with friend might not actually be true. 'Cause, I think no other animal has infinite canon lives, Phil, you just- I think you may have told me that just to cheer me up. But I- y'know, we're all reliable narrators here.
    • Right when Phil kills Ghostbur a second time, he gets a donation from Techno.
      Techno: wait ive seen this episode before
    • The second revival attempt fails... Not because it did nothing, but because it brought back someone else, someone who is not happy about his situation.
      Schlatt: ...the fuck?
      Phil: Waitwaitwait, woah, woah, woah, who- who- what?! Who is that?!
      Schlatt: Wh- The fuck is this?!
      Eret: Schlatt?!
      Schlatt: I was- Oh my god, I WAS JERKING OFF, WHAT THE FUCK IS GO- WHERE AM I?!
    • When Schlatt disappears and Ghostbur comes back, the rest think they're in the clear... Until Ghostbur tells Phil he's suddenly got a craving for cigarettes, whiskey and protein powder. Schlatt then takes over Ghostbur's body, just to ask about the protein powder.
      • Really, Schlatt in Ghostbur's body is an expert at ruining the moment.
        Eret: We'll go on a journey to try and find a woodland mansion. Wilbur, we will bring you back.
        Ghostbur: (yelps)
        Schlatt: Big booty goddess.
    • Eret mentions the fact that Ghostbur saw two people when he was killed, then one person when he was killed the second time. The group decides that the first person must have been Schlatt, but are stumped as to who the second person could be. Tubbo then butts in, saying that obviously it has to be Mexican Dream.
      • Because Tubbo was not there in game, Eret and Fundy immediately ask where his voice is coming from, to which Tubbo replies that he's on Skype. This sparks a Running Gag of various people crafting buttons to act as phones so they can talk to people they're not physically close to, and hanging up by throwing the phone into water. Instead of, y'know, just hanging up.
    • Fundy insists that, before trying again, they have to do as much research as possible. He decides to do this by watching Fullmetal Alchemist. Phil's only response is "Good luck with that."
  • Phil, Ranboo and Eret travel to Techno's house to trade for a woodland mansion map, when Phil asks Eret about his opinion on governments. Eret starts giving out vague answers, when Ranboo points out through whispers that Eret is literally the king. Phil promptly tells him to leave.
    • What follows is an understated bit of Black Comedy. Eret tries to convice Phil to let them stay by taking off their crown, which also reveals their white eyes. This startles Phil and Ranboo so bad that they want Eret to leave the commune more. Eret mistakes this to mean that they don’t want his help on the upcoming trip to the woodland mansion, so he storms off grumbling about how he’ll get the Totems of Undying all on his own.
      Eret: I’m a strong, independent...whatever the fuck I am.
  • Phil, Eret, Ranboo and Tubbo embark on a journey to find a woodland mansion to get a Totem of Undying. The whole thing is treated like a road trip, with Tubbo behaving like an Annoying Younger Sibling the entire time and Phil as the tired Team Dad driver.
    • As Ranboo and Phil are waiting for Tubbo and Eret at the portal, Tubbo confesses that he's been blasting the Brooklyn Nine-Nine theme so loudly his ears are ringing. Phil immediately proceeds to scold him for playing copyrighted music.
      Tubbo: Oh, come on, it's a Netflix-show intro theme, if that gets me DMCA'd, everything should.
      Phil: Hey, Tubbo, Tubbo. Y'know how people pay money to have Netflix?!
      (Beat)
      Tubbo: OH, GOD, I'M SCREWED!
    • About five seconds into the trip, Tubbo asks if anyone knows "that one song by Journey", then proceeds to sing "500 Miles" by The Proclaimers. Phil begs Tubbo to educate himself, and Ranboo says that, the way the trip is going, he might just have his first canon kill.
    • Tubbo's Cloud Cuckoolander tendencies come out full-force.
      Tubbo: If Minecraft-characters could piss, d'you reckon we could trident using our piss in the Nether? Picture me that.
      Ranboo: The canon kill- the canon kill is just getting closer and closer...
      • Really, everyone's constant exasperation with Tubbo's antics.
        Ranboo: I no longer want to be on this trip.
        Phil: Chat, I'm thinking about pushing Tubbo out the car.
    • Tubbo complains about not having any snacks, to which Ranboo responds that he has a bag of gummy worms. Tubbo immediately asks for them, and they argue over them for a while, much to Phil's chagrin.
      Phil: Share the gummy worms, for fuck's sake! I will turn this car around!
    • At one point during the journey to the mansion, the server crashes, which leads to a joke about it being the equivalent of Phil crashing the car.
    • After leaving the Nether roof and traveling through the Overworld, Ranboo, Phil and Eret find the woodland mansion. Tubbo, however, keeps dying on the way there, pleading with them to wait up. By the time he's finally made it there, the others have already looted the entire place, and Phil is laughing while setting the mansion on fire.
    • Near the end of the stream, Phil reaches his sub goal, which means his wife can come in and put something on him. He spends the entire trip back wearing a bright red wig.
      • Phil gets annoyed at the long hair getting in his face, saying that it's giving him flashbacks to college. Eret immediately demands to see a picture of Phil in college with long hair.
  • Ranboo stumbled across a stronghold near Techno's base and showed Techno a while later. Techno immediately conspires to secretly go to the End, but they're stopped when the Eye Spy achievement pops up in the chat, alerting everyone that they'd found the stronghold. They immediately leave, with Techno nearly failing to make it out of a one-block hole in the ceiling.
    Techno: We're goin' to the End, change the stream title! We go! Yeah, we're gonna kill the Ender Dragon-
    Technoblade has made the advancement Eye Spy
    Ranboo has made the advancement Eye Spy
    Ranboo: Ohp, no, oh, get out, oh god.
    Techno: It snitched, our cover's blown!
    Ranboo: We-we're not doing any of that.
  • While Ranboo's stream on January 15th was decidedly not funny, the donation messages he received during that time definitely were.
    buddymcbuddbudd: HOMELESS GREEN SCREEN MANIPULATES DORY FROM FINDING NEMO
    giasimone18: it's the letting a neon green highlighter ruin your life for me... anyways what y'all want from wendy's? 😃✋
    lol: nah im done with this disk crap i'm going back to sleep
    • During Ranboo's breakdown, he started tearing up the area around his house in order to certify that he didn't have one of Tommy's discs... during which he received a donation from Technoblade:
  • Tommy has a serious moment with his chat, where he admits he fucked up and needs to make amends... Then turns around and leaps out of his seat screaming when he sees Foolish, the newest member of the SMP, practically breathing down his neck.
    • Tommy calls Foolish (who, keep in mind, he's never met before), and the two have a very typical conversation for the SMP's standards. "Typical" being Foolish repeatedly calling Tommy a child, and Tommy trying to mug him.
  • The start of Phil's January 18th stream was just one long Humiliation Conga. First his facecam completely broke, forcing him to spend 15 minutes troubleshooting, then he finally joined the server, but left the door open before tabbing out, and came back to see that a creeper had wandered in and blown up Techno's house. Cue a 45-minute scramble to fix everything before Techno logs on, involving Phil having to shove everything that fell on the floor into random chests, scrounge up the supplies to rebuild an entire wall, and Ranboo joining him in doing the Minecraft-equivalent of solving 4 jumbled jigsaw puzzles as all of Techno's fanart fell off the wall.
    Ranboo: Phil, how many canon lives are you on?!
    Phil: Uhhh, I have- I have one!
    Ranboo: OHHHH BOY!
    • The funniest part by far is Phil reacting very calmly... until he tabs back in and sees the damage.
      Phil: Whoopsie-daisy. (Beat) OH, SHIT!
    • About 45 minutes later, right when Phil and Ranboo finish fixing the last of the damage, Techno logs on. Ranboo and Phil try desperately to play it off, but Techno's chat snitched on them, so Techno asks a lot of very pointed questions to mess with them.
      Techno: Hey do you guys know why my dogs- They like, jumped out of the boat and teleported to me on the other side of the map, do you guys know why they did that?
      Phil: No idea. That's- that's crazy, that's- that's nuts.
      Ranboo: I think it might have happened in the server probably restarted overnight. And then it just didn't save the fact that the dogs were in the... boat.
      Techno: Yeah, but it saved the boat.
      Ranboo: Well, I mean... It's like... A different-
      Techno: Why does it smell like gunpowder?
      Phil: Hey, we should go outside, get some fresh air, right?!
  • Techno and Phil tried to do a bit where they entered the stronghold and turned the portal to the end into a table, since their characters would have no reason to know what it actually is. However, they didn't tell Dream this prior, so DreamXD, (his alt account), logged in (presumably out of worry), and preemptively destroyed the portal and immediately logged back out. Techno and Phil have to quickly break character to assure him that they weren't actually gonna use the portalExplanation  to get him to put the blocks back before they can continue.
    Technoblade: At least—you can break one of the blocks but at least leave the other blocks so we can't even activate it, come on!
    Phil: (laughing) We were literally going to make a fucking table!
    Technoblade: We wanted a table Dream! It was gonna be our meeting room, come on Dream, put the blocks back! Come on, come on, don't be that way....
    [DreamXD joined the game]
    [Dream places a single enderportal block down.]
    [DreamXD left the game]
    Technoblade: That is not what I meant Dream!
    • The whole back and forth afterwards is overall very funny. Techno kept making jokes at Dream's expense, prompting Dream to log back on and just silently stare at him.
      Technoblade: You see, he logs in as DreamXD because Dream and DreamXD are actually seperate beings alright. DreamXD is like...the god—uh—DreamXD has canonical access to creative mode while the regular Dream is just like some homeless teletubbie that—
      [DreamXD joined the game]
      Technoblade: —ahaha! Heyyy—(types in the chat "haha jk")—I can't wait to watch the manhunt video! When is that coming out—
  • The Season 2 finale had plenty of funny moments.
    • Dream's vault of precious items has space for everything that someone values on the server, from weapons, to items, to pets... And Skeppy.
    • The Big Damn Heroes-moment is undercut just a little bit by the fact that, while the others are all in full Netherite armour, Quackity is in his yeezys. ONLY his yeezys.
    • When Tommy and Tubbo finally have Dream at their mercy, are finally free from his tyranny, Tommy decides to make Wilbur proud... By screaming "SUCK IT, GREEN BOYYYYYYY" right in Dream's face.
    • After the long, dramatic sequence in Dream's secret vault, Dream is pushed onto the elevator by Sam, Sapnap and Bad, to be taken to the prison. Tommy and Tubbo have some heartfelt moments with their saviors and gear up for their trek back through the nether... and then Dream falls off the elevator to his death.
      Tommy: (snorts) You dumbass! Tubbo, let's get out of here! You dumb fucking green boy!
    • The conversation with Wilbur was incredibly heartfelt. But since this is Tommy and Wilbur we're talking about, it ended up going off the rails very quickly.
      • When Tommy asks how Wilbur got back to the land of the living, Wilbur says he doesn't know... But thanks Tommy profusely for getting him away from Schlatt.
      • Wilbur doesn't seem to understand why Tommy and Tubbo are being quiet and uncomfortable, and starts playfully scolding them for not wanting to talk to him.
        Tubbo: (through private message) I like ghost wilbur better
      • Wilbur tries to make a few jokes to get Tommy to smile.
        Tommy: I'm quite unsettled by your presence.
        Wilbur: Yeah, I get that a lot, I hear that from many people. Especially women. (Beat) The fact you didn't laugh made that far worse.
      • When Tommy tells Wilbur about the plans to revive him, Wilbur gets pretty pissed. As the afterlife and the living world start separating again, Wilbur starts to fade out, screaming about how terrible of an idea this is.
        Wilbur: YOU'RE GONNA KILL CASPER THE FRIENDLY GHOST!!!
      • Wilbur then fades out completely... Then fades back in as he calls Tommy a ridiculous child. That's right, Wilbur resisted the pull of the void, resisted death itself just to call Tommy a child one last time.
      • What follows is a screaming match between Tommy and Wilbur, while Tubbo puts on Stal (more famously known as Schlatt's most hated disk) and starts dancing.
    • After everything is over, Techno logs on.
      Techno: im done eating lunch why do i have so many notifications
      Ranboo: no reason
    • Techno later makes a twitter post saying "This guy won't stop spamming my DM's :/". Turns out it was Dream desperately trying to cash in his favor before getting dragged off to prison.
      Dream: yo Techno log in i need that favor
      Dream: TECHNO
      Dream: TECHNO LOG IN NOW
      Techno can't im busy
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Season Three

     The Imprisonment Arc 
  • When Tommy visits the prison, Sam has him read a Terms and Conditions form out loud. When Tommy asks what voice he should use to read it, Sam tells him that his normal voice would be preferred. Tommy then proceeds to read it in the most hammy voice he can muster.
  • As intimidating as it is, there’s something sort of darkly funny about how damn thorough Sam’s efforts to fortify Pandora’s Vault are, to the point that some of it seems over the top.
    • The final security measure on the way to the maximum security cell of Pandora’s Vault is a lakes worth of lava, which takes quite a bit of time to retract. This means Sam and Tommy have to stand around waiting for the lava to drain for about twenty minutes. Tommy keeps trying to initiate small talk while they wait, and Sam is having none of it.
  • Tommy says he'll only forgive Dream if he writes 5 books for him. The books in question are called "A Guide on How To Get Girls," "Why," "Tommyinnit: The incredible man. Why he is so great," "why badboyhalo sucks," and "My name is Dream and I think my viewers (especially the younger ones) should drop out of school and try drugs. Here is why:"
  • Tubbo and Jack Manifold's confusion upon finding out that Ranboo can pick up items like leaves with his bare hands, without a Silk Touch tool. Ranboo innocently says that it's because of his Enderman half, while Tubbo stammers that it shouldn't be possible in Minecraft.
    Ranboo: It should be obvious!
    Tubbo: Bu-bu-y.. BUT MINECRAFT! AND MINECRAFT LIMITATIONS!
    • Ranboo has a similar interaction with Phil.
      Ph1LzA: how
      Ranboo: enderman
      Ph1LzA: thats not a reason
      Ph1LzA: thats rp
      Ph1LzA: how
      Ranboo: enderman
      Ranboo: :)
      Ph1LzA: bruh
    • Happens again with awesamdude who spots a wandering Ranboo at some point and asks him to show him.
      <awesamdude>: o3uayglfishea
      <awesamdude>: DO THAT AGAIN
      (Ranboo breaks another grass block and places it.)
      (Beat as Ranboo picks up another grass block and they stare at each other.)
      <awesamdude>: That is not possible.
      (Ranboo rapidly crouches up and down without saying anything before flying away with his trident.)
    • It occurs once more when Techno and Ranboo go on an adventure, whereupon Ranboo shows his ability. Techno immediately concludes that he and Phil were most likely to be either side characters or mentors, while Ranboo was the protagonist. Much to Techno's horror, he realized that most mentors often died for the sake of the main character's journey. This does nothing to stop him from convincing Ranboo to put their adventure on hold and test out the limits of the ability, ending up with Ranboo picking up a monster spawner. They actually go on a journey just to find ingredients for a cake and the experiment does not disappoint, revealing that Ranboo can eat cake, then pick it back up to obtain another whole cake, which results in infinite cake!
      • Ranboo notes that he hadn't been able to pick up certain blocks before, which immediately prompts Techno's paranoia that, because Ranboo's abilities are growing, his spot as mentor is going to get far more precarious. The entire situation is played for laughs and neither die during the journey.
      • Ranboo tries to come up with an example of a mentor who didn't die. He cites "the rat from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles", and later brings up Master Oogway and Shifu, the latter of whom he can't remember whether he died. Phil, meanwhile, tries to bring up Kakashi, but it's quickly pointed out that he was "only gravely injured". And later, Techno gives this amazing line in response to his voices:
    Techno: Chat, I'm not going to be Uncle Iroh, okay? No one's going to be Uncle Iroh. I'm not cool enough. Let's set realistic expectations, chat.
  • While Jack, Ranboo and Tubbo are showing the new guy, Charlie, around Snowchester, Tubbo starts complaining that he's hungry. He proceeds to eat six breakfast bars, along with a bag of chips, before rushing out of the room to throw up.
    Charlie: Hey everyone, having a good time, my first day on the Dream SMP, uh...
    Ranboo: Tubbo has died!
    Charlie: Tubbo has breakfast bar poisoning.
    • Meanwhile, his character in game is starving to death.
      Charlie: Can you craft a breakfast bar really quick, Tubbo?
  • Schlatt and Tommy's "canonical" fight. Basically, Schlatt crashes Connor's party, and when Tommy starts to question why he's there, he just starts punching.
  • Tommy wants to make a hotel to house people who are left homeless by conflict, but since he cannot build to save his life, he commissions Sam to make the building for him. Sam agrees, on the condition that Tommy help him gather building supplies, which prompts Tommy to compare him to Tom Nook. This spawns the "Sam Nook" bit, an extended bit where Sam plays Animalese (the sound of Animal Crossing-villagers talking) through his microphone, while Tommy tries to get any sort of sense out of him.
    Tommy: Sam, Sam, Sam! Wh- What quest do I need to do now?
    Sam: (Animalese, giggling)
    Tommy: (struggling to hold back laughter) You really need me to get that many red dye?
    Sam: (Animalese)
    Tommy: Sam, that is a racist slur, you can't say that.
    Sam: (Animalese)
    Tommy: Sam, that is incredibly offensive to say in front of 219.000 viewers!
    Sam: (Animalese)
    Tommy: SAM, HOLY SHIT, I DO NOT ASSOCIATE WITH THOSE TYPES OF PEOPLE! Take that back right now, take that back you monster, you MONSTER, the fact that you would say that ab- Take that back right now, say- say "I apologize", say "I apologize". Say "I apologize!"
    Sam: (Animalese; bursts out laughing)
    Tommy: (cracks up) Okay, okay, y'know what, fine, fine fine, y'know what... I- Listen, if I've gotta work with you, I've gotta work with you.
    • At one point, Sam says that there's something above the location for the hotel and asks Tommy to remove it. Tommy asks him to clarify whether he means Skeppy's Skywars-arena... at which point Sam starts repeating his dialogue from the beginning.
      Tommy: Oh no, he's an NPC!
  • When Bad tries to infect Tommy with the Egg, he asks if Tommy can hear the egg. Tommy says yes- only to immedietly toy with Bad and Ant by making up what the "egg" is telling him.
    Tommy: The Egg is saying that all three of us should start swearing!
    Bad: Ummmm...
    Tommy: Pussy! Fuck!
  • Technoblade and Ranboo looted a Woodland Mansion on January 24. When they started burning the structure down and were preparing to leave, Ranboo found a room with a chest. Ranboo started fighting the abnormally large amount of mobs in the room. Then, Techno rushes in and somehow got to the chest without being attacked by any mobs and started looting it. What was inside of the chest? An Enchanted Golden Apple. Ranboo promptly logs out in frustration.
    • It gets even funnier when you consider that Ranboo tried and failed to find an E-apple in a 5-hour stream a few days earlier.
  • Jack and Niki planned to kill Tommy by tricking him into entering the nuclear test site right when the nuclear test was happening. However, Tommy being Tommy, refused to be wrangled by Niki, and spent so long wandering off to chop down trees and ramble on about the Avengers that by the time they got to the test site, the bomb had already gone off. To reiterate, Jack and Niki tried to use a thermonuclear missile to kill a single teenager... And they MISSED!
    • Really, Niki's entire trip with Tommy is so awful it's hilarious. Tommy takes his sweet time while Niki tries to subtly hint at him that he needs to hurry up, and desperately tries to keep the conversation going despite the... weird direction Tommy keeps taking it. By the end of the trip, her frustration is palpable.
    • Jack's attempts at stalling are pretty hilarious too.
      • He tries to get Tubbo to drink with him in celebration, which Tubbo refuses to do because they haven't even launched the missile yet. Jack, however, starts to panic and keeps pushing it, at which point Tubbo reminds him that he's still very much underage.
      • While carrying the nuke, Tubbo has to walk slowly and carefully around Snowchester, but when they reach the path to the launch pad, he decides he can afford to speed up a little. Jack hastily tells him to slow down, because there might be sharks.
        Jack: I'm just warning you, Jaws might eat our nuke, and then we don't have a nuke, so we've got to be slow!
      • With one minute left until launch and Tommy still not in position, Jack decides to buy more time by flinging his key card into the bay.
    • As Tubbo and Jack inspect the damage, Tommy and Niki come running over the hill. Tubbo and Tommy immediately start excitedly climbing around in the crater, while Jack and Niki sneak off to their own VC to debate how the fuck their plan could have failed this hard.
      Niki: Jack, I'm so sorry, I swear I tried, I swear I tried-
      Jack: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU TRIED?! IT- THIS IS LIKE A MILE LONG, HOW COULD YOU NOT GET HIM AT LEAST CLOSE ENOUGH TO FUCKING EXPLODE?!
      Niki: It- We were SO CLOSE, he was just- he just kept TALKING, Jack! He kept talking and talking and then he just WANDERED OFF, and he... Oh my god, he was so annoying...
    • Tubbo tells Tommy that if he'd shown up any earlier, he'd have been blown up. Tommy starts to connect the dots... then immediately decides to abandon that train of thought in favor of persuading Tubbo to give him a nuke.
    • This exchange in the chat.
      Tubbo: [PSA] 10 MINS UNTILL MISSLE TEST
      Ranboo: cool
      Ranboo: im just chilling in the snow biome so i should be okay!
      Tubbo: PLEASE STAND CLEAR OF SNOW BIOMES
      Ranboo: uh oh
    • Tubbo warns Tommy about the harmful effects of hanging around a nuclear crater unprotected. Naturally, he is ignored. Later, Tommy worries about radiation poisoning, only for Tubbo to tell him he should have worn the hazmat suit.
      Tommy How do I know there's not radiation? How do I know I'm not going to contract bad things?
      Tubbo I mean, you probably will.
      Tommy Oh. (Beat) You probably should have told me that before I took off all my clothes.
      Tubbo I literally did.
      • Later, Tommy jokingly pretends to cough up blood to simulate radiation poisoning, to which Tubbo responds that he's going to be dead in hours. Niki responds with a very hopeful sounding "Really?"
    • During the celebration of the successful test, Tommy and Tubbo take turns putting their crotch in a stonecutter, nonchalantly remarking that the radiation has made them numb from the legs down.
  • Tommy tries to greet Puffy in chat... But accidentally types "pussy". He rapidly corrects himself and apologizes, but Puffy is still badly flustered.
    Puffy: (laughter) TOMMY, you're killing it! You're killing it! The mood! I'm sad, and now I'm also getting insulted!
  • Both Tommy and Philza, on completely separate occasions and completely independent of each other, make the claim that the Egg is incredibly offensive.
    Tommy: Egg, EGG! What did I say about slurs, Egg?!
    Philza: The Egg is saying all kinds of controversial things. Like “I am friends with the creator”.
  • The fact that most of the people Tommy invites to the Big Innit Hotel opening are not only not his friends, but have actually tried to kill him several times, including Niki and Jack, most of the Eggpire, Technoblade, and even Dream, who is literally in prison and couldn't come if he wanted. What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
  • How does Techno choose to tell Puffy that he’s willing to meet with her? By delivering a letter...and building the word ANARCHY in giant flaming letters right next to it.
    • In the letter, Techno tells Puffy to leave him a note if she's interested in working with him. Puffy, not wanting to leave a book lest the Eggpire finds out she's working with Techno, puts down a noteblock with a sign saying "A note".
      • When Techno and Ranboo do find the note, they listen to it- which results in this.
      Techno: Are you ready to hear this?
      Ranboo: I'm ready.
      (noteblock plays ordinary sound)
      Techno: This changes everything.
    • Puffy actually did write a note prior to coming up with the noteblock idea, and after she realizes it can be traced back to her, she decides to destroy it... but she doesn't have a flint and steel in her inventory. Her solution? Get Ranboo, the only other person nearby, to eat it.
      • Their conflicting points of view since they were both streaming at the time only make this interaction funnier; Puffy is desperately shouting at Ranboo to just eat the book and is pretty scared of Ranboo himself, while Ranboo is absolutely terrified of getting involved with some new conflict and just wants her to go away.
  • Badboyhalo tries to convince Technoblade to go on a "roadtrip" to see the egg. Before leaving, Techno makes sure to bring his "emotional support bear Steve" (his pet polar bear) much to Bad's annoyance.
    • During the journey, Steve shows a shocking inability to jump, leading to several instances where Techno spends multiple minutes coaxing him over a ledge.
    • On the return trip, Techno decides to bring Steve through the nether note . Steve pretty much immediately drops off the side of a bridge and onto a small bed of stone, causing Techno to freak out as Ranboo rushes home to brew healing potions. While they manage to save Steve in the end, he spends the rest of the nether trip scaring them half to death as he hangs on the side of every single bridge and gets shot at by ghasts.
  • Ranboo's hilariously bad attempt to spy on Bad. First, he tries to hide behind Steve, then, when Bad leaves the house, he peeks around the corner with half his body clearly exposed.
    • Made even funnier by the fact that Techno knows Ranboo is following them and has to trick Bad into ignoring him.
      Badboyhalo: I literally just saw something. It was over there and then it went poof and now it's not.
      Technoblade: Eh, probably just an enderman, they do that.
  • According to Bad, the Egg is an influencer, not only that it influences minds, but that it is literally an internet influencer. With a TikTok account.
  • When deciding who he wants to hire to work in his hotel, Tommy checks the tab-list to see his options. Online at the time were Ranboo, who Tommy doesn't know too well but is generally on good terms with due to the letters he wrote Tommy in exile, and Jack Manifold, who has literally tried to kill him with a nuclear bomb. Naturally, he picks Jack.
  • Right before his visit to Dream, Tommy decides to describe his relationship with Dream using only poop metaphors.
    Tommy: Need to wipe me 'ands. Like I've just had a good shit, alright? Except Dream, he's a bad shit, he's a- you can't- you simply can't pinch him off. But today... Will be the last wipe. Today I will stand... to wipe my bum- (corpses)
  • Jack Manifold finding out about Tommy being locked in prison. After asking around to the people online at the time, he then logs onto Twitter, effectively making Twitter canon, and sees Tommy's tweet about it. He then proceeds to claim himself the winner of a one sided battle by doing absolutely nothing.
    • After celebrating for a bit, he decides to claim himself the owner of the Big Innit Hotel, rebranding it as the Big Jack Manifold Hotel, making a business partnership with Quackity and charging people just for being on the property. Keep in mind, Tommy would only be gone for a week, at most.
  • Eret deciding to charge Jack Manifold back taxes out of spite because he tried charging them for just entering the Big Innit Hotel is pretty funny. Funnier is them deciding to tax Dream, who couldn't even pay if he wanted to. Eret just leaves the paperwork outside of the prison entrance for Awesamdude to deliver.
  • Tubbo's response to the news that Tommy is locked up with Dream is to put a sandstone penis on top of the prison. Sam comes to remove it and scold him, only to realize that, due to the mining fatigue, it takes him a good ten seconds to break a single block of sandstone. Tubbo then starts replacing every block Sam manages to break, while laughing like a maniac.
  • Phil revealed that his character is hundreds, possibly thousands of years old in a conversation with Sam, where he told him that centuries are mere child's play for him, and that seeing everyone he loved die around him was painful, but not as painful as what Phil then inflicted on their enemies. That's not funny. What is funny, is the fact that Phil's chat absolutely refuses to take him seriously, and proceed to bully him over text-to-speech.
    sarcastic_icarus: Sure grandpa, go back to sleep.
    pollitoesbonito: You could really stab a son with all that edge.
  • Tommy's prison stream, a stream many expected to open with horrific amounts of angst, opened with Tommy making annoying noises with his mouth and singing "Roadtrip" at the top of his lungs, horribly off-key. According to Dream, he'd been doing that all week.

     The Mourning Arc 
  • On one of Eret’s streams, she and Foolish check their statistics. Eret, who has been on the SMP since July, has spent a total of 19 days of playtime on it. That would be crazy enough - except Foolish, who joined in January, has already logged 17 days of playtime.
    Foolish: Egypt’s not building itself!

Side Stories

    L'Cast 

Wilbur vs. Niki

Fundy vs. Ranboo

Punz vs. Antfrost

Awesamdude vs. Ponk

Badboyhalo vs. Captain Puffy

    Tales From The SMP 

The Town That Never Was

The Village that Went Mad

  • Helga, the wife of Jimmy the mayor, offering every man in the village her dunderhead services.

The Beach Episode

  • Dream and George halting the episode multiple times by trying to kill each other.

The Lost City of Mizu

The Masquerade

  • The contrast in names of the original characters. Compare James, Lord Sebastian, and Karl to Sir Billiam III, Lyaria, and Oliver Argachtenshire Spitzeliest Cumbucket.
    • After the group has gathered in the foyer, everyone in fancy dress and with their best posh accents, they're getting ready to start the party. Then a man runs in, wearing only a speedo with another speedo as a mask, shouts in a heavy Texan accent that he's here for the nudist party, and introduces himself as "Drew P. Wiener".
  • After seeing Drew's antics, Sir Billiam tries to get the butler to throw him out. Drew responds by threatening to cough on them, sending everyone running.
  • This exchange when Sir Billiam tries to catch up with his old friend, James:
    Sir Billiam: How's the wife?
    James: ..Divorced.
    Sir Billiam: How's the family?
    James: Gone.
    Sir Billiam: ....It's hard to talk to you.
  • When Sir Billiam requests everyone to empty out their pockets, the butler inexplicably starts throwing out buckets of milk. As in, more milk than should be able to fit in his inventory.
  • Sir Billiam requests at one point for Drew to spell "economy". Drew obliges, starting with A... and then falls silent, eventually giving up and retreating. Karl ends up giggling halfway through, and Sir Billiam has to restrain from laughing as he sarcastically compliments Drew, who thanks him in return.
  • At this fancy ball filled with rich aristocrats, all the attendees sit down and start playing Duck Duck Goose.
    • During the game, Lyaria, Oliver, and Sir Billiam outright refuse to touch Drew. Oliver even groans in disgust when Drew so much as sits next to him.

The Wild West

Other/Meta

  • According to Schlatt, his role in the Manburg vs. Pogtopia war was pretty minimal from the get-go.
    Schlatt: I woke up that day and I thought "Oh, let's see what Wilbur has written for me!" And I was like "Oh, Schlatt has a heart attack and fucking dies." That's awesome. I have so much fun with this role.
  • In canon, Fundy's mother is a salmon, and Wilbur's mother is a Samsung Smart Fridge. Some fans (and Phil) have tried to interpret this as them being shapeshifters, but Wilbur was very adamant that no, he actually had sex with an actual salmon, and Phil actually had sex with an actual fridge.
    • It's made worse by the fact that "Samsung Refrigerator" is one of Sapnap's nicknames, leading Wilbur to have to quickly confirm that no, Sapnap is not his mother.
    • The editors of the Dream SMP Wiki are getting very, very tired of Wilbur's shit.
      general-light: I hate it here. I’m unstanning Wilbur Soot right fucjing now. THIS IS THE NEW WEIRDEST EDIT I’VE HAD TO MADE PLEASE STOP
      • The wiki-page for the fridge is dripping with exasperation from the editors. As of the time it was written, the page does not confirm that Tommy also came from the fridge because "we need all the denial we can get", the image description of Wilbur confirming his mother is a fridge is "Wilbur Soot tests my patience by saying the information he's relaying is canonical", and about Wilbur's decision that there's no shapeshifting involved, the page says that "given it's a stupid-ass decision, the fandom elected to ignore it."
  • Technoblade's description for the Doomsday War stream reads as follows:
    "LOCAL ANARCHIST TEAMS UP WITH HOMELESS TELETUBBY TO DESTROY GOVERNMENT"
  • During the Doomsday War and the final Disc War, George was absent. Both times, he posted a video explaining where he's been... and both times, it was just a video of him in bed, asleep.
  • When Dream gave Hbomb the script for the final Disc War, he explicitly said that H was absolutely not allowed to show up dressed in his cat maid skin.
    Hbomb: Imagine I went into full uwu-mode on Dream during that. Just imagine the outcome, chat, just think about it. (giggling) Imagine a world where Dream's getting taken to jail and I stand up for him and call him my Master... We'd both be in prison right now.
  • According to Karl, Dream accidentally overslept through the scheduled time for the Lost City of Mizu stream, so that also meant while he already had the script for his character beforehand, he slept through when everyone else had chosen names for their characters. This explains why his character, who bears a very striking resemblance to Ranboo, was called "Ranbob". Dream apparently had to think of a name on the spot (keeping in mind that he had probably woken up not that soon ago to boot).

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