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Funny / Dragonheart

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  • Near the beginning of the film, we have this little gem of an exchange:
    Einon: The peasants are revolting!
    Brok: They've always been revolting, prince. Now they're rebelling.
  • The scene where Brother Gilbert sits on Draco, who has disguised himself as a white boulder. Gilbert attempts to write a song about Bowen and taps his quill on Draco's head to sharpen the point. The "boulder" opens one eye in surprise and annoyance, creating a bit of visual hilarity.
  • And when the villagers decide to sacrifice Kara (a rebellious troublemaker) to Draco to get him to leave. The following exchange happens between Bowen and Draco.
    Draco: Who's the girl?
    Bowen: A nuisance, get rid of her!
    Draco: Why?
    Bowen: They're trying to placate you with a sacrifice!
    Draco: Oh, and whoever gave them that bright idea?
    Bowen: Just get rid of her!
    Draco: How?
    Bowen: ...Eat her!
    Draco: Oh please, yuck!
    Bowen: Are we squeamish? You ate Sir Eglemoor, hypocrite!
    Draco: I merely chewed in self-defense! But I never swallowed.
    • Especially as that's likely a dragon's version of "I didn't inhale."
    • The novelization has a tad bit more banter:
      Bowen: I suppose scorching her's out of the question.
      Draco: Absolutely!
      Bowen: It would impress the yokels.
      Draco: Will you listen to yourself?
    • Later on, when Bowen comes to check up on them, Draco admits to being... distracted.
    • Distracted is an understatement; Draco is charming the hell out of Kara. Which takes on a bit of meta-hilarity when you remember Sean Connery's turn as James Bond, ladies' man extraordinaire.
    • And then it gets even better when Kara thinks she's defending Draco from Bowen. He starts admitting the ruse, while in the background, Draco is silently waving his hand to indicate "No, stop!" and ends by quickly drawing a line across his throat in the universal sign of "Shut UP!". Also funny from a meta-perspective - think of how slow and expensive CGI was at the time, and they're using it to make a quick joke like that.
      • Certainly is more amusing as in the novelization, Draco's trying hard not to laugh while Kara's jumping Bowen.
  • Draco diving out of the lake after being "killed" by Bowen and seeing a herd of sheep: "Well... hello." Dinner ensues.
  • The third attempt at a fake dragon slaying, with Kara trying to reason to the villagers they're frauds and Brother Gilbert suddenly coming to Bowen's rescue of his daring fighting prowess (who has no idea of their bargain after their standstill).
    Kara: Don't you see? He's in league with the dragon!
    (everyone stares at her, before bursting into full-blown laughter)
    • Then there was the actual crossbow attempt, which goes well... until Draco hits shallow water headfirst.
      Bowen: *whispers* Come on sink! SINK!
      Draco: *whispers* I can't, it doesn't get any deeper.
      • And the amused look on Kara's face upon seeing this.
      • Even better in the novelization: Kara climbs on top of Draco to jump on his stomach, causing him to start Corpsing.
      • And the pièce de résistance: all the villagers chasing Draco for 'meat,' prompting him to fly away for his life (and in turn blowing the ruse).
      • And while the Power Trio attempts to escape, Bowen swinging Brother Gilbert up onto his horse causes BG to cop a feel on Kara by accident.
      • There's a quick bit when he's running across the shallow water and suddenly stumbles and falls into a dip in the lake bed. The snarl he lets out seems to be about half, "Dammit, I fell!" and half "Oh, sure, here it's deep!"
      • It gets even better: After Draco flies off, the villagers turn and start advancing on Bowen and company, while still chanting the word "meat."
      • You can't forget Brother Gilbert's congratulations!
        Brother Gilbert: Well done Bowen! You've done it again! What a brute! Why, he's even bigger than the last one!
        Bowen: Actually, he's about the same size...
  • Draco and Bowen's Mexican Standoff.
  • Brother Gilbert suddenly coming up with a good verse. "Wait, that was good...what did I just say?"
  • At one point, Bowen is having difficulty lighting a cooking fire, and Draco offers to help. Never mind that the result is like taking a flamethrower to a tissue - "I hope you like it well done..." The way Draco lights it is suitable for a laugh; with almost a bored expression on his face, Draco pinches one nostril shut and exhales out the other like he's blowing his nose.
  • When Draco rescues Bowen, Kara, and Brother Gilbert from the cannibalistic villagers, we get treated to several fantastic shots of Draco flying through the evening sky. And what do we hear?
  • During the scene where Bowen trains the villagers to fight against Einon's army, he teaches Gilbert how to shoot a bow and arrow. Brother Gilbert manages to shoot the dummy right in the head on the first try. Hewe chalks it up as Beginner's Luck and tells him to try again. He does, and where does the arrow hit the dummy this time? Right in the crotch, and Hewe does a Double Take in disbelief.
    Bowen: Brother Gilbert... You're a natural!
    • Later, during the battle in the woods, Brother Gilbert is up in a tree taking shots at Einon's army. He hits one poor chap right in the ass, and then delivers this comedy gold:
      Brother Gilbert: Turn the other cheek, brother.
  • The antics when Bowen is hunting Draco down: He latches the dragon's foot with a rope, only for Bowen's saddle to snap off his horse. Unable or unwilling to get off the saddle, he's stuck being carried around by Draco through a dense forest.
    Draco: Come! Visit the woods! [...] Look out! (Bowen dodges a tree) Well done! (Bowen fails to dodge the next one and smacks right into it) Oh, pity. That must have hurt! (smack) Again! (smack) And again! How do you like the ride so far?"
    • Followed up by an almost casual "Yikes!" from Draco when Bowen wedges the saddle against a log, causing the rope to snag the dragon out of the air.