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Funny / Dragon Ball Z Abridged Saiyan Saga

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"So, nudity makes you stronger on this planet!" note 

For all its Early Installment Weirdness, the Saiyan saga still has some pretty hilarious moments.

Warning: Spoilers Off applies to these pages. Proceed at your own risk

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    Episode 1: The Return of Raditz!...Wait... 
  • All of the farmer's lines, despite the fact that he only has about 4 of them in the entire series.
    Farmer: (notices spaceship crash on his farm in the distance) OH GOD NO, MY MARIJUANA PATCH! I mean uhhh, my carrot patch. Uh... YEAH. (approaches crashed spaceship) Guess I'll do what any sensible Middle American would do in this situation (pulls out rifle): GIT MAH GUN!
    Spaceship: Hello and welcome to Earth: with open bar.
    Farmer: (notices Raditz getting out of his ship bathed in blue light) HOLY CRAP, IT'S SONIC THE HEDGEHOG! Oh wait, no... It’s an alien! HOLY S***, IT'S AN ALIEN!
    Raditz: Finally, on this dead plan... (notices teeming wildlife) wait... what the crap? Did Kakarot screw this up? Oh, goddamnit! I knew we should have sent Turles.
    Farmer: (thinking) I better think of something cool to say to make him stop (cocks gun, then shouting) HEY YOU! (thinking again) Genius, farmer... Genius.
    Raditz: Aw, look at him! He thinks he's people. What's your power level, little human? Five, huh?
    Farmer: (shoots) PROTECT ME, GUN!
    Raditz: (catches the bullet) Hey! No! Bad human! (flicks it back)
    Farmer: Damn it, I voted for Bush.
    Raditz: Bad! Now get back up and say you're sorry. (Farmer doesn't move) Human? Huuuman? (sighs) So this is why dad said I couldn't keep Appule.
  • Goku meeting Raditz.
    Goku: So what are you here for? The Dragon Balls?
    Raditz: The... the Dragon's what?
    Goku: The Dragon Balls, you know? There are seven of them? They grant you any wish you want? Like immortality.
    Oolong: Or Bulma's panties.
    • Soon after, Vegeta and Nappa find out about the Dragon Balls:
      Nappa: Hey Vegeta did you hear that?
      Vegeta: Oh yeah, we're totally going to Earth to get our wish.
      Nappa: Yeah! We're gonna get panties! ...I mean immortality. Immortality is what I meant! Right, Vegeta?
      Vegeta: Just get in the damn pod.
    • The birth of the Krillin Owned Count. Especially if you weren't expecting it.
      Goku: Hey! Stop hitting Krillin!
      Raditz: Why?
      Goku: Because you're breaking Kame House!
      Krillin: (from inside the hole in Kame House) Yeah... stop breaking Kame House.
  • Bulma's introduction:
    Bulma: Hey I'm here.
    Krillin: BOOBS! I mean, Bulma... Hi!
    Bulma: Oooooooookaaaaaaaay.
  • Piccolo and Tom. That is all.
    Piccolo: Why [should I help you]?
    Goku: I'll friend you on MySpace.
    (beat, cut to the two flying)
    Piccolo: Tom, you've been replaced.
  • Bulma walking in on Yamcha cheating on her.
    Yamcha: BULMA! THIS ISN'T WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE- okay it's totally what it looks like. Can I still live here? Please? Before this I was living in the desert. And have you changed Puar's litter box yet?
    Puar: I make boom-boom!
  • Vegeta3986 taking the role of Raditz away from Lanipator mid-attack because of an argument over his special move.
    Lanipator as Raditz: "Prepare yourself for my signature attack: DOUBLE SUN-" (picture turns monochrome and the Record Needle Scratch sound is heard)
    Vegeta3986: No!
    Lanipator: Eh — huh?
    Vegeta3986: Give me the mic!
    Lanipator: What? No — come on, man!
    Vegeta3986: Dude, give me the mic! (a picture of the original Dragonball appears on screen with the words 'We are experiencing technical difficulties' superimposed over the top and bottom)
    Lanipator: That is the real attack name!
    Vegeta3986: No, it isn't!
    Lanipator: Fine, here, take it. I'll just go practice my Vegeta. Ass.
    • Even funnier when you realize that it is a joke carried over from another Abridged Series Vegeta3986 has worked on in the past.
    • Even better is the fact that it really wasn't Double Sunday! Double Sunday is a pink energy attack, while the move Raditz was about to use was a move officially titled "Begone!" which Ocean Group dubbed "Keep Your Eye On The Birdie!" and that for some reason Funimation mistook for Double Sunday when they redubbed it. In other words, Vegeta3986 was right!
  • Raditz causally kidnaps Gohan:
    Raditz: I'll be taking this, yoink.
  • After Raditz flies off with Gohan:
    Goku: Someone stop him!
    (cuts to the island as crickets chirp)
    Goku: Damn it, Krillin!
    Krillin: Hey, I was bitch-slapped through a house! What's your excuse?
  • Piccolo makes his appearance, while also hinting at his eventual turn to the side of good:
    Goku: Aw, geeze! Hey, look; I know you totally want to kill me and all, but today is kinda a bad day. My brother just showed up, turns out I'm an alien, he stole my kid...
    Piccolo: Oh, yeah, I was watching that. That was priceless! (prolonged Evil Laugh) Sorry for your loss.

    Episode 2: And They All Lived Happily Ever...Oh... 
  • The birth of a Running Gag.
    Goku: Are... are you a Yoshi?
    Piccolo: Yes, Goku, I'm a green f*cking dinosaur.
    Goku: Can... can I ride you?
    Piccolo: (annoyed growl)
  • Raditz's assumption that nudity makes you stronger on Earth.
    Goku: Piccolo? You use weighted training clothes as well?
    Piccolo: No Goku; I just love to get naked when I'm around you.
    Raditz: (internally) Their power level is rising... (out loud) So, nudity makes you stronger on this planet! (zipper sound)
    Goku: Uh no, we're wearing weighted clothing.
    Raditz: (quick and frantic zipper sound) Oh, o-of course! Because that would be ridiculous, ah ha ha ha ha...
    Piccolo: So that hair does compensate for something.
    Phil Ken Sebben: Ha ha! Dangly parts!
  • After narrowly dodging Raditz's attack, Goku congratulates Piccolo... before noticing that he lost a little something, leading to a chain of Ignore the Disability.
  • The fact that Team Four Star kept a line from the original English dub and reused it word for word, because they couldn't think of anything funnier to say in its place. Doubles as a Moment of Awesome for the dubbed series.
    Raditz: (after blowing off Piccolo's arm and laughing) Excuse me, has anyone seen my arm? You can't miss it, it's green!
  • Raditz, Goku, and Piccolo in Episode 2:
    Raditz: Aha! Attacking an opponent up to four times your strength in a one-on-one battle. A cunning strategy... no, no, not cunning. What's the opposite of that?
    Piccolo: (offscreen) Retarded?
    Raditz: That's it, thank you! Now, disregarding the Namekian, I—
    Goku: Ah — a Yoshi.
    Piccolo: (offscreen) I'm not a goddamn Yoshi!
    Goku: But you said you were!
    Piccolo: (offscreen) It's called sarcasm!
    Goku: What's that taste like?
    Piccolo: (offscreen) DAMMIT Goku!!
    Raditz: Stop ignoring me!!
    (Raditz crushes Goku's ribs)
    Goku: Ow, my ribs! I think you broke my... mmmm... ribs...
  • Piccolo mentally singing Mahna Mahna while Goku "distracts" Raditz.
  • As Goku is being beaten senseless, Gohan escapes from Raditz's space pod, blowing it up.
    Raditz: NO! MY SPACE PO— (Gohan headbutts Raditz's chest, cracking his armor) UGH! MY SPACE ARMOR!
    Piccolo: We get it, you're from space!
  • As Gohan gets up, Raditz appears behind him:
    Raditz: UNCLE RADITZ IS PISSED! (he swipes at Gohan; the scene pauses)
    KaiserNeko: We here at Team Four Star do not condone child violence. We do, however, find it hilarious. (scene resumes)
    • And Raditz moves in to further punish Gohan:
      Goku: Wait... hold on!
      Raditz: Or what? Mr. Shattered Ribs is going to stop me?
      Goku: Listen, you don't understand! Nothing you could do could ever compare to what Chi-Chi would to me if she found out he died!
  • When Goku has Raditz in a Full Nelson:
    Raditz: A Full Nelson? That won't work on me, I'm Raditz. (tries in vain to break free) Okay, let go! (continues to struggle) Seriously! This is starting to piss me off!
  • Piccolo tries saying the Japanese name of his attack to kill Raditz (Makankōsappō) but he has trouble pronouncing it so he just goes with Special Beam Cannon.
  • Towards the end of the episode after Piccolo takes Gohan.
    Piccolo: I'm taking Gohan, bye. (flies off)
    Krillin: Quick, someone stop him!
    (dead silence as the wind blows)
    Krillin: Damn it, Roshi!
    Roshi: Shut up, Krillin.
    Krillin Owned Count: 2

    Episode 3: Happily Ever Afterlife 
  • After Goku's death, Master Roshi says that his sacrifice was not in vain and that it stopped a great evil. As he says that everyone's lives can return to peace, Nappa and Vegeta are heard over Raditz' scouter:
    Nappa: Raditz. Raaaaaditz. Guy-who's-as-strong-as-a-saibaman-says-what? (beat) That usually gets to him. I think he's dead, Vegeta.
    Vegeta: Big shocker! Nobody cares! We're ten times stronger than him anyway! We'll go to Earth, find the dragonballs and kill everyone! And we'll be there within the year or so! Depending on filler, of course!
    Nappa: Aaaanything else we need to go over, Vegeta?
    Vegeta: ...Nope. That's about it. (conversation ends)
    Master Roshi: Well... Fu(Hard Cut to intro)
  • Krillin's attempt to tell Chi-Chi about the death of her husband and kidnapping of her son. Key word: attempt.
    Krillin: So... Chi-Chi. Hypothetically; what would you do if you were told your husband was dead and your son was kidnapped by his worst enemy?
    Chi-Chi: I'd castrate the messenger in his sleep with a rusty carving knife.
    Krillin: Oh... Then it's a good thing I'm not telling you that! (nervous laughter)
    (Chi-Chi briefly joins in with Krillin's laughter)
    Chi-Chi: (eerily) Would you like to spend the night?
    Krillin: ...Against my better judgment.
    • That night, as Krillin tries to sneak away:
      Chi-Chi: (while sharpening something off-screen, speaking in sing-song) Kril-lin! Where are you?
  • Piccolo announces his training regimen to Gohan:
    Piccolo: Listen up, runt! Today we're going to commence your intense training under me!
    Gohan: (despite being scared out his wits) But, wait... Wouldn't that cause horrible muscle degeneration for somebody my age, crippling me for years to come?
    Piccolo: ...You're a wordy little bastard, aren't you?
  • The birth of a great Running Gag: "NEEEEERD!"
  • Piccolo throws Gohan at a mountain ("Actually, that looks more like a plat—AAAAAAAH!!!") and instead of busting through the mountain like in the show, a splatter sound is heard and Gohan cries.
    Piccolo: Ew...
  • The first hint of Mr. Popo's ... ahem ... character... Kami tells Popo that he'll be receiving new trainees. Mr. Popo... laughs.
  • Kami tries to convince King Yenma to let Goku visit King Kai:
    King Yenma: Give me one good reason I should allow this!
    Kami: Because if you don't, that line's going to increase by 6 billion!
    King Yenma: 6 billion?! I'm supposed to be intimidated by 6 billion?! Please! I can judge 6 billion souls faster than you can take a piss, old man!
    Kami: You know, I am the guardian of Earth. Can I please get a little respect around here?
  • This Shout-Out to Futurama:
    King Yemma: Sure, he can go to King Kai, but he'll have to run on SNAAAAKE WAAAAY! (cue dramatic sting)
    Goku: Sounds fun!
    King Yemma: Prepare to be surprised.
  • King Yemma's rant about his (Mahogany!) desk.
    King Yemma: And not just any mahogany! But mahogany from the planet of Malchior 7! Where the trees are 300 feet tall and breathe fire! From these trees this desk was forged 2,000 years ago, using ancient blood rituals of the ancient Malchior people! Not only does this make my desk nigh indestructible, but it can bend the fabric of the universe itself! Also, it's a very fine material. Very expensive.
    Kami: Oh...kay.
    King Yemma: Mahogany.

    Episode 4: Snakeway to Heaven 
  • Goku's defeat of Princess Snake.
  • The backstory behind the blood fountain in hell.
    Goku: Have you guys seen my brother Raditz around here? Spiky hair... tail?
    Mez: Ach, yes, he made a horrible mess of ze blood fountain.
    Goku: Looks fine to me.
  • Gohan's training includes being abandoned by Piccolo on a mountain.
    Gohan: I can't believe Piccolo left me out here all alone? How am I supposed to get down from here?
    Piccolo: (from really far away) CLIMB DOWN!!
    Gohan: I can't even get any food or water. What should I do?
    Piccolo: I SAID CLIMB DOWN!!!
    Gohan: If only I had some sticks or reeds lying around, I could make a makeshift ladder, or a rope...
  • The first time Mr. Popo speaks.
    Popo: Alright maggots, listen up. Popo's 'bout to teach you the pecking order: it goes you, the dirt, the worms inside the dirt, Popo's stool, Kami; and Popo. Any questions?
    Krillin: Uh, yeah, I— (cut to outside shot of lookout as sounds of fighting can be heard, followed by a black dot falling off said lookout) AAAAAAAGGGGGHHHH!
    (Krillin Owned Count: 3)
    Popo: Enjoy the climb back up, bitch! Now, any more questions? (silence) Good. Then we can begin.
    Piccolo: Take that, moon. Perfect orbit, my ass.
    • Before that, when Gohan goes Oozaru, he lifts a barrel out of nowhere. Better yet, when Piccolo realizes it's due to his Saiyan heritage, Piccolo outright quotes Turles from the Big Green dub:
    • After the moon is destroyed, Piccolo becomes disgusted by something dangling from Gohan... and it's not his tail. Becomes Fridge Brilliance in episode 7.
  • Piccolo's destruction of the moon being reported on in the news.
    Piccolo: Yep. And once again wanton destruction has solved all of my problems. With absolutely no negative repercussions.
    (cut to Kame House, were Master Roshi, Bulma, Oolong, Puar, and Turtle watches the news in abject horror)
    Anchorman: We've got breaking news that the Earth's Moon has been completely destroyed. While the long term environmental effects can only be guessed at, preliminary speculation put the short-term death toll from tidal effects alone at the hundred of millions. We now go to our resident expert on lunar science, Sailor Moon. Sailor?
    Sailor Moon: (getting electrocuted) OH DEAR GOD!!!
    Anchorman: Thanks, Sailor! We now return you to Nick @ Nite's 24-hour Full House marathon, already in progress.
  • Piccolo's Clothes Beam!
    Piccolo: That is easily my most Metro attack.

    Episode 5: Vegeta: Kills Bugs Dead 
  • Meanwhile, on Namek:
    Guru: Nail... Nail!
    Nail: What is it, Lord Guru?
    Guru: I saw a fish. That is all. Go back outside now.
    Nail: (thinking) Oh God, this is so horribly dull. I sure hope something happens, I don't care what it is!
    Guru: NAAAIL!
    Nail: (obviously angry) WHAT!
    Guru: I saw a bird... It was pretty... Kick its ass.
  • The start of one of the most famous Running Gags in this series: "DODGE!"
  • And then we have Vegeta and Nappa's time spent on Arlia:
    • Nappa is hopeful that the local are friendly to outsiders:
      Nappa: Hey, Vegeta. The locals.
      Vegeta: Seems they brought a welcome service.
      Nappa: You know, Vegeta, on some planets, they welcome foreign commune; really brings in the revenue. They probably probably treat us like royalty, considering we—
      (Smash Cut to Nappa getting handcuffed and thrown into the nearest jail cell)
      Vegeta: Well...
      Nappa: Yeah...
    • Nappa provides some less than useful advice:
      Nappa: Don't drop the soap.
      Vegeta: I swear to god, Nappa, I will shiv you.
    • "Hi, I'm Nappa! And this is Vegeta. He was a prison bitch!"
    • Nappa watching the Arlian king and queen breed. He then takes a picture of the scene with his cellphone, and sends it to Vegeta, who was understandably squicked when it got to him.
    • Nappa and Vegeta encounters the "Rancor":
      Nappa: Vegeta, it's... It's... IT'S SO CUTE! Can I keep it? Can I keep it!?
      Vegeta: Fine! Just catch it or something...
      Nappa: (grabs the Rancor's finger) Here, boy! Shake! (rips the Rancor's finger off) Ahhh, got your finger.
      (Rancor screams in pain)
      Nappa: (makes an energy ball) Now, boy, catch the ball! Catch the ball! (throws the ball, which proceeds to blow the Rancor up) Awww! Aw, I broke-ded, Vegeta. It must have been made of something weak, like papier-mâché... Or Raditz.
    • Vegeta rocks the Arlian king... like a hurricane.
    • The reward of the Arlians freed by Nappa and Vegeta.
      Arlian: You have freed our race! We shall erect statues of you...
      Nappa: Well, isn't that nice of them, Vegeta?
      Arlian: ...Out of our dung!
      Nappa: (beat) Well, isn't that nice of them, Vege—
      Vegeta: We're leaving, Nappa.
      Nappa: 'Kay.
  • Meanwhile, at the Hall of Justice:
    Superman: Alright everyone, we have to do something about these saiyans. They're approaching Earth quickly and I don't think we have the strength to take them on alone. Batman, what are your thoughts?
    Batman: Well, I think—
    Aquaman: I have an idea!
    Batman: Oh god, it's Aquaman...
    Aquaman: (desperately) C'mon guys! We could use whales! WHAAAAAAAAAALES!
    Superman: Someone, get him out of here.
    Aquaman: (sadly) But the whales...

    Episode 6: No One Ever Listens to the Magical Dragon 
  • Popo leads the Z Warriors to their first "test":
    Krillin: Uhm, Mr. Popo, are you sure this will make us strong—?
    Popo: (sing-song) Pecking order.
    Krillin: Sorry!
    Popo: Damn right, you are.
  • Goku's first "lesson" under King Kai.
    Goku: Woohoo! All right! Now, what's my first lesson?
    King Kai: First, you must—
    Goku: Catch the monkey! (starts chasing a frightened Bubbles)
    King Kai: Actually, I was going to—
    Goku: Wheeee!
    King Kai: Okay, have fun with that.
  • The Z Warriors encounters Bruzzel and Spraut:
    Spraut: Hey, Bruzzel, look what we got here.
    Bruzzel: Yes; we got some tourists, Spraut.
    Spraut: Well, then we should give them the tour.
    Bruzzel: Yes, the tour straight to hell! ...Because we'll be killing them. With our own two diabolical hands, which are comprised of many sinister fingers, which we shall use to fiendishly destroy them one by one until—
    Spraut: For Christ's shake! Yes — they get it — we are evil! Shut up!
  • Yamcha mocks Tien and Chiaotzu's Ho Yay, leading to this exchange:
    Tien: Hey, at least I don't live alone with a cat!
    Yamcha: Yeah? Well at least I get some pus— wow, that did not come out right.
  • The Z Warrior returns from the "test".
    Popo: So. How was it?
    Krillin: (gibbering in terror)
    Tien: It was... horrible!
    Popo: Good. You survived the first test.
    Krillin: Oh, thank God!
    Popo: But I have some bad news...
    Krillin: What?
    Popo: You're going back!
    Krillin: Wh-what?!
    Popo: Bye!
    Krillin: NOOOOOO—
    (the group is teleported away)
    Kami: ...Mr. Popo, where did you send them?
    Popo: I'll tell you where they're not: safe.
  • Popo's last comments for the Z fighters after they've completed their training are hilariously blunt.
  • Goku asks King Kai if he can tell him anything about the Sayian race:
    King Kai: Not much to tell other than they all died twenty years ago.
    Goku: Uh... Even my dad?
    (cut to Bardock screaming in agony as he gets blown up)
    King Kai: (snickers to himself before graining his composure) Yes.
  • The Z Fighters on Earth gather the Dragon Balls and make their appeal to Shenron, who is not happy to see them again.
    Master Roshi: There are two horrible Saiyans coming to our planet, and we need Goku to be brought back to life in order to defeat them.
    Shenron: Really? You know, you could, um...just wish ME, THE MAGICAL DRAGON, to send them into an asteroid field. One crossed wire and BOOM! Right in the Sun!
    Master Roshi: No, you see, as long as we have Goku, we'll be fine.
    Shenron: Right. Yeah, okay, fine...whatever. I'll grant your wish. (everyone else looks horrified) Just don't come crying to me when half your stupid asses get killed. Ah, who am I kidding? You will.

    Episode 7: Saiyans? On My Planet? (It's More Likely Than You Think) 
  • Vegeta and Nappa land in the middle of a crowded city with a lot of people staring at them.
    Person: ...So are you guys aliens?
    (Nappa levels the city)
    Nappa: I hate awkward silences.
  • A Brick Joke when Vegeta has to remind Nappa why they have come to Earth:
    Vegeta: The Dragon Balls, Nappa. Don't you remember our wish?
    Goku: The Dragon Balls, you know? There are seven of them? They grant you any wish you want? Like immortality.
    Oolong: Or Bulma's panties.
    (end flashback)
    Nappa: Yeah, pandas.
  • Piccollo senses Vegeta and Nappa on the move and reasons they're moving to destroy the strongest power level they pick up. He's not pleased when Gohan thinks he's referring to Goku, but someone else is listening that finds the entire exchange funny.
    Gohan: dad's dead.
    Piccollo: ...I was referring to me...!
    Gohan: Oh. Well, by that logic I suppose you would have the strongest power level on Earth.
    Mr. Popo: (Distant) HAH!
  • "First rule of Popo's training: do not talk about Popo's training!"
    Gohan: Krillin? Why are you crying?
    Piccolo: Aw man, he's already crying and the Saiyans aren't even here yet!
    Nappa: Yeah we are! (Scare Chord) Hi.
  • Vegeta and Nappa meet the heroes of Earth.
    Piccolo: So, you guys are the Saiyans?
    Nappa: No.
    Vegeta: Don't be rude, Nappa.
    Krillin: And you're here for the Dragon Balls!
    Nappa: No.
    Vegeta: ...we are... and I, am the Prince of All Saiyans!
    Piccolo: You're a prince?
    Nappa: No.
    Vegeta: (beat) ...f*** you, Nappa.
  • Here's a little fact from Namek: Namekians may be powerful fighters, but they have one weakness: they don't have penises!
    Nappa: Look, Vegeta! It's a Namekian!
    Krillin: Hey, I take offense to that!
    Piccolo: He was referring to me, you idiot! And it's not an insult. The Namekians are a fine, proud race of...
    Nappa: That means he doesn't have a penis, right Vegeta? (Krillin snickers off-screen, as Piccolo stands gaping)
    Vegeta: Eunuchs.
    • This also doubles as a Brick Joke, as Piccolo expressed disgust and confusion over Gohan's naked form... and also his tail, before pulling it off.
    • Also, Vegeta's clearly finishing Piccolo's sentence for him.
  • Nappa thinking Chiaotzu is a Pokémon.
    Nappa: Ah...ah! Vegeta! Look! A Pokémon...
    Chiaotzu: I'm not a Pokémon! I'm Chiaotzu! Chiaotzu!
    Nappa: Do you hear that, Vegeta? It’s a Chiaotzu! I'm gonna catch it!. (grabs Pokéball)
    Chiaotzu: I told you I am not a Pokém...OW! (gets hit by a Pokéball)
    Nappa: Awwww, it didn't work, Vegeta.
    Vegeta: That's cause you have to damage it first.
    Nappa: Alright! Let's see if I can get a critical!! (Chiaotzu flinches in response)
  • Yamcha's arrival. He gives a Rousing Speech with triumphant music playing in the background...and then he gets killed by a Saibaman. An event which he will continue to live with for the rest of his existence.
  • Nappa revealing that he named all of the Saibaman he grew. Their names are Snuggles, Foofoo, Cabbagehead, Other Cabbagehead, and Vegeta Junior. And then Vegeta kills Vegeta Junior.

    Episode 8: Nappa's Best Day Ever 
  • The episode opens with Bulma mourning Yamcha's death.
    Bulma: (sobbing into Roshi's chest) I was saving myself for him!
    Roshi: Bullshit!
  • Vegeta immediately puts down the fact that Krillin killed the equivalent of three Raditz, boasting that Nappa is worth five Raditz, and Vegeta himself is worth 15 Raditz. Nappa says that at least their Raditz (Krillin), is "stronger than our Raditz." The punchline is this line:
    Raditz: (from the afterlife) I... hate... all of you!
  • Nappa reveals himself to be a student of Saiyan University.
    Vegeta: Hold on, you went to college?
    Nappa: Yup!
    Vegeta: What the hell could someone like you possibly major in?!
    Nappa: Child psychology...
    Gohan: Wow, that sounds really interestin—
    Nappa: ...WITH A MINOR IN PAIN!!
  • Shortly after Nappa chops off Tien's arm, Vegeta makes a pun so awful, Tien immediately stops screaming in pain.
    Vegeta: Looks like he's been... disarmed.
    Nappa: (Beat)... I get it!
  • Piccolo's plan A:
    Piccolo: (to Krillin) Can you get him in a Full Nelson?
    Krillin: (beat) Any plans that don't involve killing me?
    Piccolo: Well, there is the multi-form technique.
    Krillin: But won't that cut our power-levels by—
    Piccolo: Plan A or Plan B, Krillin!
    Krillin: PLAN B! PLAN B!
  • Krillin and Piccolo's plan B:
    Krillin and Piccolo: KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU! (clones of Krillin and Piccolo appear)
    Nappa: Vegeta! I can't... BELIEVE IT! (Vegeta groans in disgust)
  • While Nappa is parrying Piccolo and Krillin's clones, Piccolo's thoughts:
    Piccolo: He's dodging every hit! We can't lay a FINGER on him! What kind of incredible mental discipline has this guy gone through?
  • When Nappa stops in mid-air.
    Nappa: Vegeta!
    Vegeta: What is it, Nappa!?
    Nappa: I can fly.
    Vegeta: (stammering) ...Yes, Nappa, yes you can.
  • After Krillin warns Vegeta and Nappa that Goku is coming, Vegeta decides to kill Krillin and the others until Nappa interjects:
    Nappa: But Vegeta, I wanna meet the strong guy!
    Vegeta: Nappa, just kill them first and—
    Nappa: But I want him to see us kill them!
    Vegeta: Oh god, there's no arguing with you. Fine! I'll give you three hours tops, after that I'm killing all of you!
  • After merely a minute of waiting, Nappa gets impatient, which starts to get on everyone's nerves. Vegeta tells Nappa to go have fun, and we get this:
    Nappa: Oh boy! This is gonna be my BEST. DAY. EVER. [Nappa then proceeds to destroy a whole naval fleet while whimsical music is playing in the background.] WHEEEEEEE!
  • In The Stinger, we get this exchange between Nappa and Vegeta:
    Vegeta: Nappa, where did your armor go?
    Nappa: I had a hell of a day, Vegeta: I sank their battleship, AND THEIR WHALES. (cuts to an ocean full of blood and sunken ships)

    Episode 9: The Set Up 
  • Goku stopped for lunch on Snake Way...and completely forgot about the Saiyan attack.
    Goku: Crapcrapcrapcrap!
  • After knocking out Piccolo, Nappa picks his next playmate:
    Krillin: PleasenotmepleasenotmepleasenotmePLEASENOTME!
    Nappa: Eeny meeny miney you (knocks Gohan out cold)
    Krillin: WHOO!!! NOT ME! ...Gohan?
  • Nappa and Vegeta's discussion at the start of the episode:
    Krillin: (with Nappa charging towards him) Crap, myturnmyturnMYTURN! (Nappa stops dead in his tracks)
    Vegeta: Nappa, what are you doing?
    Nappa: It's his turn, Vegeta. I have to wait for him.
    Vegeta: Wha... I... uh... (nose starts to bleed)
    Nappa: You okay, Vegeta?
    Vegeta: Yes... just... just having an aneurysm out of sheer stupidity.
    Nappa: Wow. (beat) Didn't think you were that stupid, Vegeta.
    Vegeta: AAAAARRRRRRGGGGHGHHHH! Nine minutes, eighteen seconds... nine minutes, eighteen seconds...
    Nappa: What's that, Vegeta?
    Vegeta: Happiest... moment... of... my life...
    • Then Nappa dies at that time mark in the episode.
  • Krillin shows off his new technique:
    Krillin: HEY! Stop treating me like a joke dammit! I've got a new technique — which I probably could've used earlier and maybe saved all of our friends' lives — but that's beside the point! (charging a disc of energy in his hand) Get ready for my Destructo Disc!
    Piccolo: (barely alive) Laaame.
    Krillin: Now, take THIS! (throws the disc at an angle, where it grinds across the ground before heading towards Nappa and Vegeta)
    Nappa: Oooh! A frisbee, Vegeta!
    Vegeta: Nappa, no! It's a trick!
    Nappa: But Vegeta... Trix are for kids.
    Vegeta: ... You know what, Nappa? On second thought, catch it. Catch it with your teeth.
    Nappa: Yay, like a doggy! (gets cut by the disc, which rebounds towards a small mountain) Ow!
    Ricola guy: Riiicola— (disc explodes, cutting off the mountain's top half) Oh goddammit! (mountain half falls and breaks into pieces)
  • Nappa is rather angry about getting hit with the Destructo Disc
    Nappa: Ah, no! My face! My precious modelling career!
    (cut to Nappa on the cover of Vogue)
    Nappa: You know, I was trying to a be team player. Trying to be a nice guy!
    Krillin: You killed half our friends!
    Nappa: I said "TRYING"!
  • Piccolo saves Krillin from Nappa
    Piccolo: I'm back! (shoots Nappa in the back)
    Nappa: AAAAAUGH... I see what you did there.
  • Gohan snaps for the first time:
    Piccolo: Whoa, Gohan! What the hell?!
    Gohan: (calmed down) Wha? I'm sorry, Mr. Piccolo, I didn't mean to snap like that!
    Piccolo: No, stay snapped, STAY SNAPPED!
  • Gohan losing his temper after Piccolo's death:
  • And what prompted that rant was Piccolo's dying words after Taking the Bullet for Gohan.
    • Of course, prior to that, Piccolo's Internal Monologue has him realizing (over the course of a few seconds) that it would have been far easier (and safer) to simply tackle Gohan out of the way rather than take the bullet.
      Piccolo: Yeah... that's right... I can take anything you can dish out— Oh God, there go my organs. (thud)
  • Nappa says some parting words to Gohan:
    Nappa: It's been fun, kid! I mean for me, not for you. As for you, everyone important to you is dead.
    Krillin: Hey! I'm still alive!
    Nappa: Everyone important.
    Krillin: (meekly) Dammit...
  • Goku swoops in unseen and saves Gohan from Nappa:
    Nappa: Uh, wha—? Where'd he go!? (Aside Glance) Did he disappear? Or was he never there to begin with?
  • Krillin tells Goku about the fate of his friends:
    Goku: Oh, are they all—? Tenshinhan, Piccolo, Yamcha... Oh, wow! Especially Yamcha! Wait. Where's Chiaotzu?
    Krillin: Oh, he's here... and there... and there... and there... and—
    Gohan: Krillin!
    Krillin: What?
    Gohan: Too Soon!
  • Goku asks Nappa and Vegeta who caused the deaths of his friends:
    Nappa: That was me, totally calling it. I killed every single one of them. Except for Chiaotzu. He blew himself up!
  • Team Four Star presents their version of one of the most famous Memetic Mutations in anime history:
    Nappa: Vegeta! What does the scouter say about his power level?!
    Vegeta: It's... one thousand and six.
    Nappa: ...Really?
    Vegeta: Yeah. Kick his ass, Nappa!
    Nappa: Yaaaaay!
    (Nappa gets his ass handed to him by Goku)
    Nappa: (while Vegeta is delivering the below lines) That one doesn’t bend that way! MY ARM DOESN'T BEND THAT WAY! *snap* Aaw, now it does!
    Vegeta: Hmmm... that doesn't seem right... wait, wait, wait wait! Nappa!
    Nappa: (collapses at Vegeta's feet) Whaaaaat?!
    Vegeta: I had the Scouter upside down. It's Over Nine Thousand. (calmly crushes Scouter) Rah.
    Nappa: Why do you sound so bored?!
    Vegeta: Because he's still not a threat.
    Nappa: But—
    Vegeta: To me.
  • This episode ends with a surprisingly understated (yet hysterical) moment where Vegeta finally kills Nappa for his unrelenting stupidity at exactly nine minutes and eighteen seconds. His reaction is a simple smile.

    Episode 10: The Punchline 
  • Vegeta after Nappa dies:
    Krillin: R-Really?
    Vegeta: (laughter dies down) Oh no, you are all thoroughly screwed.
  • King Kai begins taking bets on whether Goku or Vegeta wins:
    Bubbles: 70,000 zeni on the noble, young warrior!
    Bojack: Yargh! I bet 50 gold doubloons on the short one!
    Gregory: Uh, sir, this is really appropriate? If Goku loses, the entire Earth could be destroyed!
    King Kai: (summons a mallet) You were saying?
    Gregory: (resigned) Dah, 1,000 zeni on Goku.
    Narrator: Hey, can I get in on this?
    King Kai: Wait a second, don't you already know the outcome of the fight?
    Narrator: N-nnnnooo~...
    • At the end of the episode when the Narrator makes his closing statement:
      Narrator: And so our heroes look towards the sky, their battle finally over, and victory on their side. Many lives were lost, many lessons were learned, and I made out with a cool one-hundred thou!
      King Kai: You cheating son of a—!
      Narrator: Can't hear you, don't care. Now where was I...?
  • Vegeta gets a replacement idiot.
    Goku: Are you okay in there?
    Vegeta: Yeah, I'm fan-f***ing-tastic. Nothing but gumdrops and ice cream in here.
    Goku: Oh, really? Can I come in too?
    Vegeta: ...I'm surrounded by idiots.
    Goku: I thought you were surrounded by gumdrops and ice cream!
    Vegeta: (loudly screams out of frustration) I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS!! I WILL NOT BE HUMILIATED BY A LOW-CLASS WRETCH!!!
    Goku: Awww, sounds like somebody's got an ice cream headache...
    Goku: What's going on, guys? We won, right?
  • When Goku and Vegeta pause in the middle of fighting:
    Vegeta: Okay, not bad... but still nothing compared to me. Now witness the power of a Saiyan elite!
    Goku: Elite? What's that mean?
    Vegeta: It means I'm of the upper class, a finer breed — the highest grade of warrior!
    Goku: (floats there silently, blinking confusedly)
    Vegeta: (annoyed sigh) Okay, consider yourself beef jerky while I'm Filet Mignon.
    Goku: Ooh, I like both those things!
    Vegeta: ...I'm going to start beating you now. I don't know when I'll stop.
    Goku: Hopefully before dinner, because I told Gohan to tell Chi-Chi to— (Vegeta interrupts with an attack)
  • After Vegeta gets blown away by a Kaioken charged Kamehameha.
    Vegeta: I'll show that little bastard! I'll become the mighty oozaru, and crush him into the...(beat)...where's the moon? WHERE'S THE DAMN MOON?!
    (cut to a flashback of Piccolo staring at the moon)
    • Which leads to Vegeta summoning his artificial moon.
      Goku: Question!
      Vegeta: What?
      Goku: Are they made of cheese?
      Vegeta: (beat) I'm going to enjoy this far more than I should...
  • And later, Son Goku: squeaky toy.
    (Oozaru!Vegeta has Goku in his grasp)
    Oozaru!Vegeta: Alright, Kakarot! Let's hear those bones shatter! (squeezes harder)
    Goku: *squeak*
    Oozaru!Vegeta: ... What the? (squeezes again)
    Goku: *squeak*
    Oozaru!Vegeta: My God, that's hilarious! (squeezes repeatedly)
    Goku: *squeak squeak squeak squeak*
  • Goku hits his head so hard he thought he was in the Dragon Ball Evolution continuity.
  • Vegeta when he loses his temper is always hilarious.
    Goku: Well, that's not very nice."
    Vegeta: OF COURSE NOT, I'M F***ING EVIL!!!!!!"
  • The entire Kaio-ken running gag.
    Vegeta: I'm going to obliterate you, and the rest of this planet myself with my own two—
    Goku: KAIO-KEN!
    Vegeta: Kaio-what? (punched repeatedly in the face, before breaking away the combo with a kick to the chin) Okay... not bad... but still nothing compared to me!
    • And again.
      Vegeta: I told you Kakarot! There's no way you can measure up to an elite like me! You're fighting a losing battle here. You might as well just surrender this pathetic planet now and-
      Vegeta: Times wha— (punch) GWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH! (sent flying and crashes into a mountain) This... proves... nothing...
    • Once more, during the Galick Gun/Kamehameha struggle:
      Vegeta: This is the end Kakarot! You don't stand a chance! I put all my power into this attack! Now perish... WITH THE REST OF YOUR PATHETIC WORLD!
      Goku: KAIO-KEN...
      Vegeta: Noooo...
      Goku: ... TIMES...
      Vegeta: No, no, no...
      Goku: ...FOOOOUUUUR...
      Vegeta: Nononononononono-(gets carried away by the blast)-FUUUUUUUUUUU-
  • Vegeta getting hit in the face with a Solar Flare.
    "AAAAH. My eyes! Oh God, it's like walking in on Freeza in the shower. Wait a minute, Freeza's always naked — AAAAAAGGGGHHH!
    • This becomes even funnier in episode 15, when Dodoria is hit by a Solar Flare... And you can see a split second shot of Freeza's face photoshopped on a picture of a muscular man in the shower.
      • Also in general Vegeta getting hit in the eye.
        Vegeta: Again with the f***ing eye!!
        Vegeta: The eye! The eye! Why is always that goddamned eye!!??
  • This bit before Vegeta's transformation:
    Vegeta: Now watch, Kakarot, as your life becomes inconsequential, as I reveal my GIANT MONKEY— (camera is centered on crotch)
    Crowd: (collective gasp)
    Vegeta: (camera pans up) FORM!
    Crowd: (sighs of relief)
    Random Guy in Crowd: Thank god, I thought he meant penis!
  • Krillin receiving the weakened spirit bomb.
    Goku: Krillin, come here. I have something to give you.
    Krillin: Your last will and testament?
    Goku: No, it's energy from the entire world. It's our last hope.
    Krillin: ...and you're giving it to me.
    Goku: I'm kind of out of options. (Goku gives Krillin the spirit bomb)
    Krillin: Holy crap! So this is what being important feels like!
    • And then he muses on the Spirit Bomb.
      Krillin: (thinking) Wow! Such power, from every living being on the planet. I can feel it all surging inside of me. Every man, woman, and child. This, this is Earth's very essence! beat (out loud) BOO-YAH, MOTHER-F*CKER! (throws it)
    • And finally, Vegeta about to be hit by the Spirit Bomb.
      Vegeta: What smells like deer?
      Vegeta: (gets blasted into the sky with the Spirit Bomb) CURSE MY HUBRIIIIIIIIS!
  • Vegeta has some daddy issues:
    Vegeta: You... You cut through my armor! This was a gift from my father!
    Yajirobe: (frantic) I'm sorry! I'm sure your father was a great man!
    Vegeta: I hated my father!
    Yajirobe: Oh well, then I'm sure your father was a total prick.
    Vegeta: (punches Yajirobe square in the face) HOW DARE YOU TALK ABOUT MY FATHER LIKE THAT!?!
  • When Gohan becomes the Oozaru, Krillin gets some Mood Whiplash:
    Krillin: Yay! Gohan's transformed! He's gonna save us all!
    (*Oozaru!Gohan starts crushing everything*)
    Krillin: Oh no! Gohan's transformed! He's gonna kill us all!!
  • Then Goku tries to get through to Oozaru!Gohan:
    Goku: Gohan, this is daddy. I know you're angry right now but you have to focus your anger.  R-remember Icarus? (shows Icarus and explosion; Gohan has an angered expression; camera shows Gohan spotting Vegeta) He did it. (Gohan roars in anger)
    Vegeta: Oh, that's bulls***! I haven't killed a damn thing since I came to this godforsaken planet! (Looks at camera) Not from lack of trying, mind you.
  • Vegeta decides that it is time to call a retreat:
    Vegeta: Crushed and broken beneath an unconscious naked child... Yep... I think I'm done here...
  • Krillin moves in for the kill with Yajirobe's sword:
    Krillin: You think you can kill all of our friends and threaten our lives, and just leave?!
    Vegeta: (completely unapologetic despite his weakened state) Would you be surprised if I said "yes"?
  • But the crowning moment of them all came at the very end of the first season as a throwaway gag. "GHOST NAPPA!" According to an interview from the Daizenshuu EX podcast, that joke was apparently planned almost from the beginning, making pretty much the entire first season a set-up to get to that punchline. Hence the name of the finale "The Punchline".
    • Vegeta, at the end of episode 10, comes across an old friend, much to his horror,
      Vegeta: They've broken my body... I've failed in my mission to find the Dragon Balls... I even lost my tail... but, at least... it can't get any worse... from here...
      ???: Vegeta... Vegeeeeeeeetaaa...
      Vegeta: Wh— what?
      Nappa: (appears as a ghost) I'mhauntingyou.
      Vegeta: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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