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Funny / Dracula 2000

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  • Probably the most memorable part of the movie. When Simon is pinned down by Marcus as a vampire, he brandishes a crucifix at him.
    Marcus: Sorry, sport. I'm an atheist.
    *a spike pops out of the end of the crucifix*
    Simon: God loves you anyway. *cue Eye Scream*
  • Later, Simon and Marcus have a rematch and Simon delivers this line:
    Simon: Never! Ever! Fuck! With an antiques dealer!
  • During the final fight, Solina is attacking Simon in a rooftop greenhouse and straddling him, trying to strangle him. Simon grabs a pair of gardening shears and opens them at her neck, ready and willing to get trimming. Solina looks down at them in horror. Beat.
    Solina: Simon...
    Simon: Better make it good.
    Solina: You and I, we could-
    *clearly not good enough; Simon cuts her head off*

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