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Funny / Dr. Havoc's Diary

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"I'm sorry, was I not just screaming? I felt like I was just screaming."

It's from the creators of The Most Popular Girls in School, what do you think?

Contains unmarked spoilers. Therefore, read with caution!

Season 1

Episode 1: Brock In The Basement

  • Brock pretending to have been shot.
    Havoc: Alright, Brock! Time to die. Play along. Pow! Pa-pow!
    Brock: Oh! Oh, fuck! He-ohhhh, right in the dick he-is where he shot me!
    Havoc: No, no no!
    Brock: I mean ohh, I mean in my face! He shot me in my face, not the part that talks, but the other part-uh, different part of the—ohh, ohhhhhh!!

Episode 2: Gun-Gun

  • Von Duct going on a tirade—in German.
  • The ridiculous shapes of Von Duct's guns.
  • Havoc shooting his nipple off after all thanks to the pen gun.

Episode 3: The Henchman Handbook

  • The infant-minded henchmen, who are adult-sized.
  • The teenage-minded henchmen.
  • "That's it! No one's getting ice cream!"

Episode 4: The Final Countdown

  • The montage of Havoc stopping all countdowns in his lair.
    • Havoc ruining a henchman's burrito:
    Henchman Steve: Aw yeah, bean and cheese and meat! Beeeean and cheese and meat! (starts singing and doing Air Guitar) Bean and cheese and meat! Bean and cheese and meat!
    Havoc: (unplugs the microwave) We're not doing that anymore. (leaves)
    Steve: Awwww! (takes the burrito out and takes a bite) So—cold...
    • Havoc cutting off his henchmen from watching the New Year's celebration:
    Henchmen: (in unison) Three! Two...
    Havoc: (destroys the television) No more countdowns. (leaves)
    Henchmen: Awww...
    • Havoc shooting one of his henchmen, who was about to take a picture with his buddies.
    Henchman Kyle 1: Okay guys! Three, two—(gets shot)
    Dr. Havoc: (holding the camera) Say "cheese"!
    Henchmen Steves: Cheese!
    Henchman Kyle 2: That was my best friend.
  • The reveal that Nighthook thought a homeless guy was one of Havoc's outside guards, much to the latter's confusion. Cue Overly Long Gag of Nighthook struggling to get said bum out of the tight pile of dead henchmen.

Episode 5: Take Your Daughter To Work Day

  • Ally accidentally shooting Brock.
    Ally: Oh my God, this thing still has bullets in it?!
    Brock: Uh, yeah, it still has a lot of bullets in it, i-it's a loaded gun—g-g-g-gimmie that! (hobbles away on his good foot) Ugh, I mean, seriously Havoc, (groans) who the fuck brings their daughter to an arm's deal anyway?! I mean, who does that?!

Episode 7: The Assassin

  • All the ways that Nadia wants to kill Brock involve him cumming.

Episode 8: Female Superhero

  • Crystal Mynxx groaning happily (twice) when she removes her painful boots—inside of Havoc's lair.
  • "And so Diary... I think I'm gonna go soak my testicles in a bowl of ice."

Episode 9: Battle on Top of a Train

  • The sheer Reality Ensues that happens during the whole Traintop Battle.
    • Henchman Kyle losing his trusty handbook in the wind.
    • Henchman Steve popping like a water balloon (offscreen) when he falls off the train.
    • Havoc screaming his lungs out when the train goes through a tunnel.
    • Henchman Kyle getting beheaded is a mixture of this and Nausea Fuel.
    Havoc: (screams and tosses the severed head away)
    Brock: I—yup, that got me. (vomits)
    Havoc: Whaddya think now, Brock?! Huh?! Whaddya think now?! His head just got taken off by a FUCKING. PIGEON!! Do you now believe me that it’s too dangerous to be up here, having a GOD. DAMN. BATTLE!?!

Episode 10: Havoc Family Vacation

  • Havoc mortifying his family with his "Havoc Family Vacation" Fun T Shirts.
  • Nighthook pretending to be the waiter.

Episode 11: Von Duct's Assistant

  • The Brock clone running out of the lab, naked. And with Havoc's gun.

Episode 12: Super Kids

  • Fantasti-Girl taking a liking to the word "rapist".
    Havoc: You guys are way too young to be out there fighting murderers and rapists!
    Fantasti-Girl: What's a rapist?
    Havoc: Oh, no, Jesus. Um, never mind.
    Fantasti-Girl: Are you a rapist?
    Havoc: No. No, stop. Forget the word "rapist". (to his henchmen) Look, will you get these kids—
    Fantasti-Girl: (offscreen) Rapist.
    Havoc: No. Stop saying it.
    Fantasti-Girl: (playfully) Rapi~st!
  • Fantasti-Girl messing around in Von Duct's lab.
    Von Duct: Ah ah ah! Little girl, zat is not a toy! (he eventually ends up making her stick to a wall)
  • Two Words: Captain Baby!

Episode 13: Ally's Date

  • Havoc blowing up Jaydyn anyway.

Episode 14: Minions

  • This is the Minions parody episode. Bonus points: they happen to share the same voices as the Trishas!
  • Two of them, nearly right off the bat, start screwing:
    Von Duct: Better than zat, the Minions have ze ability to reproduce on their own! At an incredible rate!
    Dr. Havoc: (pointing to offscreen) Is that, uh, is that what's happening over here?
    (cut to Minions fucking, and eventually climaxing)
  • The Minions just enjoy sex a little too much.
  • The entirety of the Curb-Stomp Battle.
  • The mere fact that there will always be Minions inside of Havoc's lair, due to a number of them escaping the army through the air vents.

Episode 15: Kim Leaves

  • Havoc's overly long Stunned Silence when Kim tells him that Brock may be Ally's real father. Kim even has to say his name a couple of times before he can snap out of it. The 12-second moment is pictured above.

Episode 16: Black Superhero

  • The sheer absurdity of the Art Museum. The exhibits are all Shaped Like Itself.
  • Dr. Havoc shooting the Living Art Exhibit.

Episode 17: Captain Dr. Havoc

  • Everybody going half-deaf in the submarine.
    Brock: Ah, shit! Uh, my bad, my bad everyone! My silencer wasn't on! Sorry guys.
    Dr. Havoc: Aagh... God, I think my eardrums are bleeding.
    Brock: What?
    Dr. Havoc: Ugh, shut up! God, just shut up!
    Brock: That's right, everybody put your hands up!
    Henchman Kyle: What? What did he say?
    Henchman Steve: What did Kyle just say?
    Henchman Kyle: What did Steve just say?
    Henchman Steve: I can't hear anything!
    Henchman Kyle: What?
    Henchman Steve: Huh?
    Henchman Kyle: Who said that?
    Dr. Havoc: Stop. Yelling.
    Brock: WHAT?
  • It turns out that Kim also drives Brock crazy, to the point where he went to great lengths just to tell Havoc that.
  • Brock stopping mid-sentence to exclaim about the sudden stench in the submarine. We then find out that No Dead Body Poops has been averted for the Henchmen he shot dead, much to Brock's surprise (and Havoc's disbelief).
  • Brock obviously Didn't Think This Through.
    Brock: (the submarine is leaking) Oh, shit, Havoc. I think your boat has a hole.
    Dr. Havoc: How is that possible? (Beat) Brock, how did you get on my submarine?
    Brock: Oh, I just-I took a welding gun, and I popped a hole in the side, and then I-- Ah, shit. Yep. I figured it out. I did it.
  • And right after the above dialogue:
    Havoc: (both cling onto the metal pipes on the ceiling) Well, this is great, Brock. Now, we have to escape from what is essentially a giant, unflushed toilet. (sighs) So, you wanna swim through the shit first, or should I?
    Brock: I’m gonna be honest. I-I’d kinda rather be here than at home with that nightmare on wheels you call a wife (Kim). (points to a floating corpse.) Ahh, poopy body! Poopy body!
    Havoc: Shut up.
  • Havoc's diary entry:
    Havoc: And so, Diary, I may have ended today half-deaf, trapped in a sinking can of human feces... but on the bright side, it does sound like I’m doing better than Brock Mason. ...That fucking piece of shit.

Episode 18: Origin Stories

Episode 19: Robots!

  • Robo-Havoc, Robo-Brock, and Robo-Kim are exactly like the original people, even with the Creepy Monotone.
    • Robo-Havoc getting a phone call from his "wife":
      Robo-Havoc: Hello?
      Robo-Kim: Robo-Darren. Robo-Darren. Robo-Darren. Robo-Darren.
      Robo-Havoc: Robo-Kim, please turn down your volume.
      Robo-Kim: No. I will not turn down my volume.
      Robo-Havoc: Haaaaahhhhhhh...
      Havoc: Did he just sigh? Did that fucking robot just sigh?!?

Episode 20: Superpowered Man

Episode 23: Brock Meets Brock

  • Von Duct getting a little way too giddy with the Snapchat filters.
  • Havoc and his Henchmen being ecstatic over capturing Brock... until it turns out that they captured the Brock clone instead (who has the mentality of a 2-year-old, by the way). How was it obvious? The Henchmen found him fighting a raccoon behind a dumpster at a Taco Bell.
    Clone Brock: Angwy cat wanted my taco.
  • Henchman Kyle revealing that Clone Brock shit himself on the way over to Havoc's lair.
  • Brock almost instantly bonding with his clone, considering him to be his son (much to Havoc's dismay).
  • Brock trying to give his clone a piggyback ride. Considering how Clone Brock has the exact same body as his original counterpart, well...
  • Von Duct impersonating as Brock.
    Havoc: "Cowabunga"? You really think that's something he would say?
    Von Duct: Uh, to be honest, I've never met Brock Mason.

Episode 24: Freaky Friday

  • This line from Havoc!Ally:
    Havoc!Ally: Well, you better fucking figure it out, Dad! I can feel your balls!
  • Ally!Havoc trying to convince Von Duct that he's not his daughter; Von Duct doesn't buy it until Havoc!Ally walks into the room after getting lost in Havoc's lair.
  • Havoc!Ally accidentally punching herself in the dick.
  • Havoc!Von Duct, accent and all, and Von Duct!Ally.
  • Henchman Steve!Havoc and Ally!Steve, in which the latter enjoys his new female body.
    Havoc!Ally: (to Ally!Steve) Hey, stop grabbing my boobs, you fucking perv!
  • The fact that every other student at Ally's high school made a volcano for the Science Fair.
  • Kim's Stunned Silence when Ally!Havoc roasts her over the phone.

Episode 25: Dr. Havoc's Date

Episode 26: Parent-Teacher Conference

Episode 27: Therapy

  • Kim and Brock laughing hysterically at Havoc's "like a little boy" self-loathing statement.
  • This:
    Kim: Oh yeah! Have they not explained on how they let our 16-year-old daughter, have sex with his (Brock's) two-year-old clone?!
  • Brock and Havoc laughing, high-fiving, and simultaneously shouting "Fuck you, Kim!" Doubles as Awesome.
  • Brock ordering hookers.

Episode 28: Space Laser

  • Havoc insisting on wearing his spacesuit for the whole day—way before the rocket is even ready, despite Von Duct's warnings about him overheating in said suit. Guess what happens?
    • The mere fact that Havoc was unconscious for the length of time needed to wait.
  • Havoc getting out of his seat right before the rocket launches—because he almost forgot the mixtape he made for the trip. Cue him screaming all the way up.

Episode 29: Survival & Revenge, Pt. 1

  • Havoc ragging on Von Duct's new appearance.
    Havoc: Yeah, but... you can't just wear a cape and an apron. You look like a fucking vampire that teaches woodshop.

Episode 30: Survival & Revenge, Pt. 2

  • Nobody at the U.N. having any idea who the fuck Von Duct is.
  • Kim imitating Von Duct.
    Kim: (nasally) "I'm ze vorld's most powerful zupervillain"!
    Von Duct: You're a mean woman!
  • Brock bringing his clone along with him. It stops being funny when said clone gets Killed Off for Real, however.
  • Havoc giving Von Duct the finger via security video.

Late Night Snack

Episode 2

  • Havoc's internet cutting out during his first meeting with the UN.
  • Havoc having to shoot the cable man now that the latter has actually seen the former's lair.
  • Havoc contacting the UN while in Starbucks. Hilarity Ensues.
    • "A Java Chip for Havoc?"
    • Havoc having to remind other customers that he's still using his chair.
    Secretary General: Dr. Havoc, we are not going to be held ransom by some man in a coffee shop.
    Havoc: Hey, I'm just here to use the wi-fi, okay?
  • Havoc contacting the UN while in the Starbucks restroom, claiming that he's inside his new high-tech lair. Unfortunately, the knocking on the door and a sign saying "Employees must wash hands before returning to work" gives him away.
  • Havoc releases the virus in Starbucks... only for the Secretary General to tell him that their chemists have already figured out about the virus weeks beforehand and have been mass producing an antidote.
    Secretary General: So nobody will die. But thanks for telling us!

Episode 3: Millennial Man

  • Millennial Man livestreaming his lair raid, much to Havoc's annoyance.

Meta and Non-Canon

  • In a promo, as Dr. Havoc stands on a road, motionless as a doll, he explains how he's gonna dominate the world through Fullscreen. He ends up getting run over by a car, beheaded in the process, and still lives!


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