Funny / Diablo II

• Some of the Necromancer's lines are quite funny in a Deadpan Snarker kind of way. Like after defeating the last boss of the optional fourth quest in Act 1, which yields a considerable amount of gold, he says:
  Necromancer: Treasure hunting? Hmph! Treasure finding? Yeeess.
  • Also, his reaction after stopping Snake People who were trying to put eternal night over Lut Gholein:
    Necromancer: A shame. I was starting to enjoy darkness.
• Gheed has a hilarious line if you try to talk to him before finishing The Forgotten Tower quest.
  Guess what! I've named a boil on my ass after you. It, too, bothers me every time I sit down.
• Tristram is a Nostalgia Level with a mix of Player Punch when you see that the town's been overrun by demons and everyone (except Cain) is now dead or a zombie. Travel to the outskirts and you'll find Wirt's corpse, and it yields Wirt's peg leg... and a shower of gold that he's extorted from players of the previous game.
• Whether because his potions kept blowing up in his face or otherwise, Lysander seems to be a bit hard of hearing:
  Lysander: Horazon's Urinal? Oh, journal! Yes, well... Glad you found it. Such a shame about those poor harem girls, huh? I shall miss them deeply... I mean their conversations, of course.
  Lysander: Huh? Peppermint? Oh, Radament! Yes, a foul creature... Some of my exploding potions should do quite nicely against him; they usually work well against the undead.
• The Amazon in Act II, in the Arcane Sanctuary (and yes, it's there even if she saw another player enter before).
  Amazon: Am I the first one to discover this place?
• In Act V (expansion only), when the Amazon kills the Boss (1st Quest):
  Amazon: Oops. Did I do that?
• What Assassin muses when entering the Burial Grounds:
  Assassin: Hmm, whose handiwork lays buried here?
  • Or when she kills Blood Raven:
  Assassin: What I kill stays dead.
• When Assassin completes the Forgotten Tower Quest:
  Assassin: So much treasure it almost covers the stench.
• Barbarian after killing the first boss in Act 2
  Barbarian: I've just about had my fill of the walking dead.
• Or when he kills the Summoner:
  Barbarian: Oh, I hate staining my hands with the blood of foul sorcerers.
• The Druid's reaction to the Burial Grounds;
  Druid: Planting the dead, how odd.
• a removed quote from Druid as he enters the Arcane Sanctuary:
  Druid: Well, this place would drive anyone mad.
• Sometime's Paladin's earnest outlook can cross into Comically Serious with his quotes.
• Sorceress when she obtains a certain tomes in a quest:
  Sorceress May the black book bring a black day to Hell.
• In a gossip conversation Larzzuk observes amazon's curves
  Larzuk: Are all you Amazons so...big?
  • In Gossip conversations with Malah and Qual-kehk, its revealed that Larzuk had attempted inventing air balloons to spy on Baal's forces, and a cannon to fight them!
• Marius, after witnessing the Dark Wanderer's Power Incontinence cause an entire tavern to be slaughtered by demons and undead, leaving him as the only survivor, reacts by wordlessly tossing his smoking pipe to the floor.
• The secret Cow Level is populated by 7 foot tall cows toting poleaxes, which is funny enough by itself. But the voice actors' bored "moo." for the patrolling enemies pushes it over the top. Particularly because the Cows will charge straight for you, resulting in gigantic swarms of bipedal Cows, almost all of which are mooing.
  • Perhaps even more hilarious is that there is actual lore surrounding this level to make it compatible with the rest of the setting.
• A Korean animated vid was made about Diablo II, which has Deckard Cain having a competition between the original D2 heroes going through the Secret Cow Level and seeing who can kill the most guys. A lot of the vid's humor is based on pre-Lord of Destruction Diablo II, where classes behaved a bit differently from their modern counterparts (so to speak). Some notable moments include...
  • The fact that the cows are just regular, helpless cows and not the bardiche slinging hellspawn in the game proper.
  • The Barbarian's Whirlwind is quickly overshadowed by the Amazon's Multishot, only for Cain to show her the Sorceress Playing with Fire.
  • The Paladin being unable to Zeal any of the cows with his mace which eventually breaks and has to ask the Necromancer for gold to repair, the latter of which is literally just sitting there playing card games with his summons.
  • And the Sorceress's reward for slaying the most bovines? A PvP ear. She's understandably enraged after all that.

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