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Funny / Despicable Me

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Anybody got any hand sanitizer?

Both Despicable Me 2 and Despicable Me 3 have their own pages.

First Film

  • Gru, trying to flatter Ms. Hattie by speaking Spanish. She has no idea what he's saying, and thinks it's a compliment. However...
    Gru: You have a face... como un burro. translation 
    • And the next time Ms. Hattie appears, she mentions that she bought a Spanish-English dictionary to look up what that meant - and slaps Gru across the face with it.
  • Most of Margo's constant snarking, and if not actual insincerity, indifference, especially when she mimics Gru when he wanted her, Edith and Agnes to "skip the dance class today" during their ballet practice. And the shrink ray.
    • Some memorable exchanges:
    Margo: Four boxes of mini-mints, two toffee totes, uh, two caramel clumpies, aaaaand fifteen boxes of coco-nutties.
    Vector: Exactly! I'd like to see somebody else order that many cookies! Not likely! Name one person who ordered more cookies than me!
    Margo: (unimpressed) That'll be $52.
    Vector: Right. (starts counting money)...7...8...9...
    Agnes: Why are you wearing pajamas?
    Vector: Ptuh! These aren't pajamas! It's a warm-up suit!
    Edith: What're you warming up for?
    Vector: Stuff.
    Margo: What sort of stuff?
    Vector: Super-cool stuff you wouldn't understand!
    Agnes: Like sleeping?

    Margo: ...and please watch over us, and bless that we'll have a good night's sleep.
    Edith: And bless that while we're sleeping, no bugs will crawl in our ears and lay eggs in our brains.
    Margo: Great. Thanks for that image, Edith.

    Gru: Rule number one: Do not. Touch. Anything.
    Margo: Uh-huh. What about the floor?
    Gru: Yes, you may touch the floor.
    Margo: What about the air?
    Gru: Yes, you may touch the air.
  • The minion glowing like a glowstick. (A minion Lampshading New Powers as the Plot Demands).
  • There's just something about Vector screwing around with the shrink ray, and the idiotic one-liners he shouts while shrinking his bathroom.
    Vector: Booyah! You got shrunk, tiny mouth wash!
    • Vector gets a phone call and says "I've got the shrink ray." You can faintly hear the guy on the other line ask something along the lines of "Are you playing with it, you idiot?"
    • Vector gets sprayed by his shrunken toilet.
  • Also, what happens when Dr. Nefario mishears "cookie robots." and makes boogie robots instead. Gru's reaction just sells it.
    Gru: (to Dr. Nefario at the Boogie Robots' presentation) 'Cookie robots.' I said 'cookie robots.' W...Why are you old?
    Nefario: (Beat) Ok. I'm on it.
    • The fact that Vector eats a cookie robot.
  • The girls messing with Gru's presentation. "I fly to the moon... I shrink the moon... I grab the moon... I sit on the toilet...with - what?"
    Gru: Now, where were we?
    Mr. Perkins: You were sitting on the toilet.
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  • Gru's two imagine spots.
  • The whole midway game sequence.
  • "Cotton candy!"
  • "He's so fluffy I'm gonna die!!"
  • Nefario showing Gru the fart gun.
    Gru: I said dart gun! Not— (stops and starts fans the stench away) Okay...
    Nefario: Oooooh... yes, well, I was wondering... under what circumstances... we would ever use something like this?
    • Becomes a bit of a brick joke in the second movie when Nefario uses it on El Macho.
  • From a sign: "Bank of Evil (formerly Lehman Brothers)"
  • After Gru reads the Sleepy Kittens book to the girls:
    Agnes: I like him, he's nice.
    Edith: But scary...
    Agnes: Like Santa!
  • The fact that Vector camouflaged the Pyramid of Giza right next to his house by spray painting it blue and painting clouds on it.
  • Gru's facial expression and pointing over his back at hearing Vector was the one who stole the pyramids gets a giggle.
  • Early on in the movie, there's a game at an amusement park where you have to knock over a tiny spaceship prop. The reward is a stuffed unicorn (Agnes' was destroyed earlier). After around 1 or 2 tries, Agnes hits the spaceship... but the vendor decides to be a dick and invoke Exact Words, saying that she didn't "knock over" the spaceship. Gru proceeds to bring out his More Dakka gun, and blast the stand. The entire stand is obliterated... except the planet and spaceship. The vendor stares at the wreckage, and the ship disintegrates.
  • Gru's little slip-up during the adoption:
    Gru: ...who's Debbie?
    Hattie: Your wife.
    • In a Black Comedy way, the fact that this mistake still doesn't change Hattie's mind about letting him adopt the girls, even though she doesn't believe his cover story anymore, assuming she did in the first place.
    • Advertisement:
    • Before that, when Gru starts fake-crying, Miss Hattie has a hilarious unimpressed expression on her face.
  • Agnes holding her breath.
    Gru: ...that's freaking me out, what is she doing?
  • The little shadow puppets during the end credits can make one giggle.
    Minion: (talking through shadow puppet of Gru) "Hello! I am Gru. Back to work. Back to work!"
  • When Gru goes into the bank, the teller at the front desk is fast asleep. Behind him is a sign which declares "We are always alert to all your needs!"
  • Agnes singing at the orphanage while they were about to sleep.
  • Two of the Minions altering Gru's credentials while Ms. Hattie is reading them. Then getting into a slap fight over what to add, and then one Minion starts forcing the other to slam his head against the keyboard repeatedly, causing the credentials to turn to gibberish and confusing the hell out of Ms. Hattie.
  • In one scene, Gru makes pancakes for the girls, and Edith is delighted.
    Edith: Mine's shaped like a dead guy!
  • One of the side effects of stealing the moon... a werewolf turns back to normal.
    • Another side effect of stealing the moon: the tide goes straight out, sending a surfer crashing onto the rocks.
  • "Rule number three: You will not cry, or whine, or laugh, or giggle, or sneeze or burp or fart. So, no annoying sounds!"
    Agnes: Does this count as annoying? (Puckers mouth and smacks puffed-out cheeks, making a popping sound)
    Gru: VERY.
  • Jorge (the short plump minion with the spiked hair) xeroxing his rear end on the photocopier, much to Stuart and Jerry's amusement.
    (snickers) "Butt."
    • Then when it turns out that the Shrink Ray is not permanent, causing their ship to blown back up to full size before their eyes, they look at it with a beat of stunned silence, until the Xerox spits out the next image. "Eh, eh, eh? Butt!"
  • The girls and two minions throwing TP around the house. Gru sees this and he is not amused.
    Edith: Umm ... (Points to the minions) It was your cousins' idea!
    Jerry: WHAAAAT?!
    • Also this, which is both funny and cute.
      Gru: Okay, bedtime.
      Girls: Awwww.
      Jerry and Stuart: Awwww.
      Gru: (Points to the minions) Not you two!
      Jerry and Stuart: YAAAAY!
  • "AAARRGH, there's a squid on my face!"
    • And just before, the look in that squid's eyes. It clearly has no idea what's going on...
    • And then the second one rolls his eyes at Vector's boasting.
  • This scene:
    Agnes: Aw! My caterpillar never turned into a butterfly!
    Edith: That's a Cheeto.
    Agnes: Oh. (eats cheeto)
    • Margo's and Edith's reaction just sells it.
  • The gag with Nefario's mobility scooter.
    Nefario: Quick! We have to warn him... AND FAST!
  • Gru's odd "good night" to the girls during their first night there.
    Gru: All right, good night, sleep tight, and don't let the bed-bugs bite. Because there are literally thousands of them. (turns off lights, starts to leave, but pauses) Oh, and there's probably something in your closet.
  • The part at the beginning with the balloon.
  • The minions go shopping for a new unicorn toy for Agnes.
  • This:
    Edith: When we got adopted by a bald guy...I thought this would be more like Annie.
  • The Brick Joke in which Ms. Hattie mentions the offscreen box of shame, then when the three girls leave the room, they say hi to the girl imprisoned in the now-visible box. Later, when the girls are returned to the orphanage, they are each put in one of these boxes for their sizes. This time, it's not funny.
  • Edith's face when she sees Gru for the first time.
  • While Margo tries to reassure the girls (and herself) that they're going to be happy living with Gru, Agnes (who'd mentioned earlier she hoped the house would be made out of Gummy Bears) beelines to the candy Gru left them in a dog bowl and chows down.
  • The reference to The Godfather with Gru finding the makeover doll head in his bed and freaking out.
  • Gru speaking to Dr. Nefario over the video intercom, and acting as if everything is normal... despite having Kyle hanging off his arm, and eating his muffin, having sunk his teeth into it.
  • When Gru brings the girls home; Agnes spots Kyle, shrieks "Ooh, fluffy doggie!" and runs up to give him a hug — whereupon he yelps in fright and runs away. Priceless.
    Gru: Kyle, these are not treats, they're guests. Girls, this is Kyle,
    (Kyle snarls)
    Agnes: Ooh, fluffy doggie! (runs toward Kyle, who whines and attempts to runs away; griefs in disappointment)
    Margo: What kind of a dog is that?
    Gru: He's a...I don't know.
  • "Oh, can we get stuffed crust?!"
    Gru: I'll stuff you ALL in the crust!
    Agnes: (laughing) You're funny.
  • After the pyramid is stolen in the opening, various governments around the world protect their landmarks... such as one guy with a shotgun defending "The Big Beer (16000 fluid oz)" and a platoon of tanks in China guarding the Great Wall and all swiveling their turrets to shoot a passing bird.
  • Kevin (the minion who gets shrunk later on) reacting to Gru shaking his hand like he just met Elvis and fainting.
  • "Da da da, papoy. Pfft!"
  • When the girls first find the secret lair, Edith finds a strange-looking solution:
    Edith: Can I drink this?
    Nefario: (equally cheery voice) Do you want to explode? (Beat)
    Edith:(kicks him instead)
    Nefario: Gru!!!
  • This conversation.
    Fred: Morning, Gru! How you doing?
    Gru: Hello, Fred. FYI, your dog has been leaving little bombs all over my yard and I don't appreciate it.
    Fred: Sorry. You know dogs. They go wherever they wanna go.
    Gru: Unless they're dead. (Laughs) I'm joking! Although it is true. Anyway, have a good one.
    Fred: (Not sure how to react) Oh, okay. Uh, yeah!
  • "The physical appearance of the please makes no difference. It is still no, so go to sleep."
  • The Minions' Establishing Character Moment: a pair of minions are busy at work hammering in rivets, when right as the minion with hammer is about to pound in the next rivet, Gru interrupts them telling them it's time for the minions to assemble. The first minion runs off, leaving his friend seemingly depressed... and then runs back and smashes him in the top of the head with his hammer for literally no reason.

Minion Madness Shorts

  • Home Makeover:
    • Margo imitating Gru's voice when speaking to the social worker. Priceless.
    • The girls and the minions decorating the house.
    • Agnes's last lines "I think he likes it" when Gru comes to the door.
  • Banana
    • "Bapple."

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