Funny / Death to Smoochy

• The "penis cookie" scene.
  Smoochy: (gears in his head spinning rapidly as he sees just what the cookies are shaped like) Oh... Oh! Oh... my! It's a... uh... it's a... it's a... it's a... IT'S A ROCKET SHIP!
  • Randolph's enraged rant in which he tosses around penis euphemism after penis euphemism like grenades. In front of children who just laugh.
    Rainbow Randolph: What are you, blind?! It's a cock! It's not a rocket, you sick fuck! It's a cock! Look! It's a cock and balls! It's a dick! Chorizo and the Huevos! It's a big stiffy! Yeah! It's a PENIS! Penis Maximus! A willy! A weenie! Mr. Jiggledaddy! A wang! The One-Eyed Wonder Weasel, don't you see that?! It's Jimmy and the Twins! Rumpleforeskin! He made it! He made this thing, it's made from dildough!
  • Immediately after he gets escorted out, Randolph remarks, "I'm Rainbow fucking Randolph, and I know the way out-", before immediately falling down the stairs and slamming straight into the wall and spitting out a tooth.
  • The TV edit makes it funnier: After Randolph asks "What are you, blind?!", the scene cuts to him being roughly shoved out of the door.
• There's also Randolph crash-tackling the man asking for donations to "Save the Rhinos!"
• "When my brothers and I played cowboys and Indians, I was always the Chinese railroad worker." Totally different caliber of joke from the rest of the movie.
• The looks Stokes give Burke when Buggy goes all narcoleptic at the salsa bar. It's like "Seriously? This it the guy we're counting on?!"
• "You got da hammer, Roy?" "I always got me hammer, Tommy."
  • Also pretty much every line from the Irish Mob.
    (Bang bang bang bang bang)
    Randolph: (laying on the couch with an ice pack on his head) I'm trying to sleep, asshole! Read the fucking meter another time!
    (The Irish Mob kicks his door down)
  • (at Spinner's funeral) Tommy: "All right, boys. Let's go pray and get shit-faced."
• This:
  Randolph: She's right, you've got to keep your dignity intact — (spills coffee on himself) — OWW! MY BALLS! They're on fire!
• Tommy: "You must know some fairy tales then. Hey, Donny! Tell him the one about the worthless prick who gets his head chopped off with an ax!"
• The mere idea that Merv Green and his children's hospital charity aren't even strictly associated with an organized crime syndicate; they're just so corrupt that they are de facto mobsters.
• Randolph's surprise phone call to Sheldon (who doesn't recognize his voice):
  Randolph: You better grow eyes in the back of your fucking head, you horned piece of shit, because I'm not gonna sleep until worms are crawling up your foam-rubber ass! I'm goin' on safari, motherfucker! SAFARI! (mimics elephant trumpeting)
  Sheldon: ... Well, how do you like that!
• When the cops assist a rather shaken Randolph:
  Cop: Are you okay?
  Randolph: I dunno; I'm kinda fucked up in general, so it's hard to gauge...
• When Randolph leads Sheldon to what he thinks is a gig for children, the look on Sheldon's face when he finds out it's a neo-Nazi rally is priceless, it just shouts Oh, Crap!. A link can be seen here.
  Sheldon: (metaphorically about to crap his pants) I hope I'm dreamin'.
  • A comment in the thread of said link is both funny and shockingly heartwarming.
  “Smoochy is so wholesome even Nazis love him.”
  • "Heil Smoochy!" "Heil Smoochy! Heil Smoochy! Heil Smoochy!"
• "Hey, little nipple-nibbler! The rhino's a Nazi!"
  • Shortly afterwards, Randolph's victory lap ends with him slamming into a brick wall.

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