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Funny / Deadpool 2

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  • The opening shot of the entire film is Deadpool activating a music box... in the shape of Wolverine impaled on a tree branch. And he walks around in eternally ugly but very comfy Crocs foam clogs (Blind Al said "Upside of being blind: I've never seen you in Crocs" in the first film).
    • When Wade reveals his suicide attempt by blowing up his apartment with a cigarette and gasoline, he explains why. He's trying to have his own death be superior to Logan's! And did we mention he explains this while he is basically being blown apart, while we see his disembodied head do the talking? Also, if one hadn't seen Logan before seeing Deadpool 2, then Deadpool is spoiling that movie's ending out of sheer spite.
      "Fuck Wolverine. First he rides my coattails with the R-rating, then the hairy motherfucker ups the ante by dying! What a dick! Well, guess what, Wolvie? I'm dying in this one, too."
  • The montage of Deadpool taking on international assassinations against various scummy criminals.
    • During the first mission, Deadpool goes up against sex traffickers and when they all start firing at him, he takes cover behind a bar with a waitress, then turns to her and asks for grapefruit juice, cranberry juice and vodka.
      Deadpool: Yes, I know it's a Sea Breeze. Don't make me say it.
    • One of the scenes is him in a strip club, poledancing with heels on. And some of the guys watching are cheering before he reveals himself.
    • During the montage, during an attack on a yakuza bath, he kneels down to use the water and wipe the bad-guy blood out of his eye. He grabs a towel to dry himself... and it turns out it's a yakuza's loincloth. And in case that wasn't funny enough, he lifts up the loincloth and asks "Scoutmaster Kevin?"
      • Made funnier by him screaming "Time out, time out! I got blood in my eye!"
      • Also, Deadpool's white, expressive mask eyes are CGI, so, you'd think maybe the mask would protect Deadpool but not Ryan Reynolds.
    • During the fight in the warehouse, the Mafia boss is running away from Deadpool in clear slow motion, but all the actual carnage behind him is played at normal speed. It's pretty disorienting when noticed. Deadpool's narration, which introduces the movie amidst all the carnage, just makes it funnier.
      "I know what you're thinking: 'I'm so glad I left the kiddos at home.' But that's where you'd be wrong. That babysitter of yours is high as fuck right now. And, believe it or not, Deadpool 2 is a family film. True story. And every big family film starts... with a vicious murder. Bambi, The Lion King, Saw 7... Holy shit-pickles, that guy's on fire! That's not CGI, folks. He's actually on fire. Yeah."
    • And all of this is set to "9 to 5" by Dolly Parton.
    • In the Super Duper Cut, at the funeral assassination, Deadpool shoots a Mafia boss who looks suspiciously like Tony Stark, and quips that you won't see Captain America do that.
  • Dopinder is happily listening to self-confidence lessons in his taxi's radio... before Deadpool busts through the window, having screamed at him for him to start the car.
    Dopinder: Oh, I think I shit my pants.
    Deadpool: Actually, I think it might have been me.
    • The look on Dopinder's face tells he's not enjoying the crazy car stunts at all, unlike Deadpool behind him.
    • Dopinder going into a heartfelt speech about how he wants something more out of life. At first, Deadpool is touched at Dopinder's Hidden Depths... Then Dopinder elaborates he wants to be a contract killer and Deadpool is immediately floored. Dopinder then explains his desire to become an assassin by, of all things, gushing about Interview with the Vampire, and the look on Tom Cruise's face when he first drank the blood of a 10-year-old Kirsten Dunst.
  • Wade gets home and exchanges anniversary gifts with Vanessa. He gives Vanessa a token from the arcade that was their first date, while Vanessa presents him with a box with a small metal device.
    Vanessa: It's my IUDnote .
    Wade: It's a bomb?!note 
  • When Wade and Vanessa discuss having kids and all the sex they'll have trying to conceive, Wade says he'll grab the the strap-on. Vanessa tried explaining that that really won't help with conception but if he wants it she'll still put it on.
  • During the Mafia attack where Vanessa is killed, Wade defends himself with every weapon at hand, including a knife holder where he uses everything but the cream cheese spreader. And in one of the after credits scenes, he revisits said moment via Cable's time machine and then uses that very knife to kill the leader, thus saving Vanessa.
  • Soundtrack Dissonance is used recurringly and with hilarious results, such as the opening with Wade planning his suicide-by-explosion while hearing "All Out of Love" and a slow-mo convoy crash scored by Enya's "Only Time".
  • The opening credits are an absolutely spot-on parody of Bond movies... Except all the characters are Deadpool. Including the "Bond Girls".
    • The credits themselves are mostly just variations on "Did they just kill Vanessa?", aside from particular entries. The Super Duper Cut adds in alternate versions to them.
      20th Century Fox presents
      In association with Marvel Entertainment
      A film by Wait a Minute!
      Produced by Did You Just Kill Her?
      Presented by What the Fuck?
      In association with I Don't Understand.
      Production Designer She was like everyone's favorite character
      Film Editors Good luck bringing me back fuckheads
      Starring, Obviously, Someone Who Hates Sharing the Spotlight/Obviously Reynolds didn't want to share the spotlight
      Written by The Real Villains/I blame the writers. "Real heroes" my ass
      Cinematography by Blind Al/Someone who would literally film anything
      Directed by One of the Guys Who Killed the Dog in John Wick.
  • Wade saying how "Do You Want To Build a Snowman?" from Frozen sounds a lot like "Papa Can You Hear Me?" from Yentl.
  • Buck tries to cheer up grieving Wade, even stating he's in denial trying to cope. Wade eventually does an Aside Glance and states that Buck doesn't get any more lines.
  • Deadpool lifts up a floorboard in Blind Al's house to reveal that the stash of cocaine and the cure for blindness are indeed there. Then when Blind Al tells him nobody can truly live without dying a little first, Deadpool decides to take her literally by blowing himself up, and he proceeds to powder himself with a bag of cocaine beforehand.
    • Prior to his attempted suicide, he goes to the zoo to a polar bear exhibit when a little girl asks if he's a superhero. Deadpool tells her that he is, and says his name is "Captain Delicious Pants". Unfortunately, the poor girl finds out why.
    • In his second attempt, he's on top of a building while downing a container of bleach, before walking off to fall to his death. It still didn't work when a woman is surprised on how he's still alive.
    Woman: I can't believe he's still alive!
    DP: I can't believe you left the house in that shirt!
  • After Deadpool gets reduced to Ludicrous Gibs following the explosion from the beginning, we see Colossus enter the place. Cut to Colossus pulling a large bag of what is arguably Deadpool's very alive pieces to the X-Mansion.
  • After Colossus brings Wade to the X-Mansion, Deadpool eventually gets Xavier's wheelchair and starts driving recklessly.
  • One of the reasons Wade believes he can't be an X-Men?
    Deadpool: First off, I'm not even a virgin.
  • While touring the X-Mansion, Wade once again gripes to Colossus about the studio apparently not being able to afford any of the popular X-Men. Then the camera angle changes to show Professor X, Cyclops, Beast, Nightcrawler, Storm, and Quicksilver (looking exactly as they appeared in X-Men: Apocalypse) in the next room. Beast immediately and quietly shuts the door before he sees them. The look on Beast's face when he sees Deadpool is priceless.
  • Once Wade finally accepts becoming an X-Man, he hugs Colossus, and squeezes his ass. Colossus removes his hand, but when Wade puts it back, he just gives in to it.
  • Wade trying on the Cerebro helmet and pretending he's psychic by "reading Colossus's mind"... which really just consists of saying everything Colossus is saying but a second after Colossus already said it. He's so wrapped up in his schtick that it takes him a second to realize Colossus says they're taking him on a mission, which even Wade thinks is a really bad idea. Also, after he agrees to accompany Colossus, he ends up breaking off a piece of Cerebro.
    • He makes an aside comment on how it smells like Patrick Stewart.
  • Wade finally decides to join the X-Men... and Negasonic Teenage Warhead isn't having it:
    Deadpool: I am an X-Man.
    Negasonic Teenage Warhead: Trainee!
    Deadpool: Shut it!
    • And "Trainee" is always spoken when Wade mentions being an X-Man again. Even on the X-Force Chinook Helo.
  • Deadpool refers to the head orderly of the orphanage as Jared Kushner.
  • The Call-Back to the "four or five moments" speech from the first movie.
    Deadpool: People think you're a hero 24/7. Wake up a hero. Brush your teeth a hero. Ejaculate into the soap dispenser a hero.
    Colossus: (nervously sniffing his hands.) Bozhe moy...
  • Cable arrives in front of two rednecks discussing, of all things, proper asswiping technique: first toilet paper, then baby wipes, then toilet paper to remove the humidity left by baby wipes.
  • As the X-Men try to talk Russell, who's calling himself "Firefist" into surrendering.
    • Deadpool laughs at Russell calling Negasonic "Justin Bieber" and then tries to talk him down, only to fail and get blasted into a nearby building because he can't stop laughing at the name "Firefist."
    • his fireballs throwing Negasonic and then Colossus into nearby buildings.
    • Deadpool tries to brag to a random child in a series of rambling Non Sequiturs while signing his cereal box for no reason with the name "Ryan Reynolds". When he mentions that he's an X-man however, the kid with absolutely no reason to know calls him a "Trainee". Also a blink-and-you'll-miss-it: the cereal box he signs has Wolverine on it.
    • And then in a magnificent Call-Back to the first movie, Deadpool tries to impress people when getting back into the fray with a Superhero Landing... ...and predictably damages his knees, leading to him hissing and groaning as he slowly stands up and recovers.
  • After Wade and Russell are sent to a mutant prison called the Icebox, Wade proves not even the MCU is safe from Deadpool's fourth wall mocking, as he notes that with the collar dampening his powers, "Give me a bow and arrow and I'm basically Hawkeye."
  • The Running Gag of Russell smuggling a shiv into the prison in his ass and Wade's disgust over it.
  • Wade and Russell meet Black Tom Cassidy and his gang in the Ice Box.
    Black Tom: Black Tom Cassidy.
    Wade: White Wade Wilson... What's your mutant power? Cultural appropriation?
    • Russell tries to become top dog in prison by shivving the toughest guy in the Icebox. He ends up announcing his threat and gets punched in the face for it. Twice.
  • A quick sight gag, but the fact that Cable's gun has a dial that literally goes Up to Eleven. Deadpool naturally turns it all the way up... And gets blown flat on his ass by the recoil.
    Deadpool: Gun's got a bit of zip! I like it!
  • After learning he's from the future, Wade has just three questions for Cable:
    Deadpool: One: Is Dubstep still a thing? Two: Which Sharknado are we on? And three: At what point do audiences say "enough with the robotic arms"?
    • In the Super Duper Cut, the last two questions were asking if people still homebrew and if Dopinder ever finds love.
    • The simple fact that this line came out of Cable's mouth, and it leads to the wonderful bit of shade tossing from Deadpool:
      Cable: Dubstep is for pussies!
      Deadpool: So dark... are you sure you're not from the DC Universe?
    • He later has to beat Deadpool saying "I guess dubstep never dies."
    • Both fight scenes are then followed up with the soundtrack playing "Bangarang".
  • "Zip it, Thanos."
  • Wade talks about the moment in movies where a character hits rock bottom. He mentions that in Cool Runnings, it's when John Candy's bobsled broke, and in The Human Centipede, it's when those actors signed on to appear in that movie.
  • The "secret code" between Russel and Juggernaut is just the Shave and a Haircut knock.
  • Dopinder's desire to join Deadpool's team:
    Deadpool: What's your super power?
    Dopinder: [smiling] Courage.
    Deadpool: That's adorable.
  • Weasel's response to Deadpool's desire to make a "super-duper-fucking group"?
    Weasel: It's time to get back on LinkedIn.
  • Then the interviews themselves.
    • After Bedlam says he can distort people's brains to make them feel "anxiety, confusion, pain", Deadpool says he is basically Dave Matthews.
    • Wade having a wrong conclusion of what Zeitgeist's powers are, thinking it's related to having his "finger on the pulse of society," Zeitgeist is confused, clearly having no idea what his name even means. When Zeitgeist says his power is spitting acidic vomit and asks if Deadpool would like a demonstration, the merc replies, "Listen, we've all eaten at Arby's, okay?"
    • Vanisher is a mutant that is invisible. So when he is presented we are treated to a shot of a (possibly) empty room. Weasel then realizes he's running late.
    • Shatterstar's boasting makes Wade ask if somewhere there are aliens "who aren't better than me in every way!"
      Deadpool: Just once I wanna find a planet with people that are worse than me at everything, a whole bunch of functional idiots. I'm gonna go there, I'm gonna be their Superman.
      Weasel: Isn't that Canada?
      Deadpool: You shut your goddamn trash mouth.
    • Deadpool and Domino arguing over the latter's Luck-Based Powers.
      Deadpool: What's your shtick?
      Domino: I'm lucky.
      Deadpool: That's not a superpower.
      Domino: Yeah, it is.
      Deadpool: No it isn't.
      Domino: Yes it is.
      Deadpool: No it isn't.
      Domino: Yeah. It is.
      Deadpool: No it isn't.
      Domino: It is.
      Deadpool: No it isn't.
      Domino: Yeah, it is.
      Deadpool: No it isn't.
      Domino: No, it isn't.
      Deadpool: Yes it is.
      Domino: Told ya.
      Deadpool: [slams the table] Get outta my head!
    • The last member of X-Force... Peter.
      Deadpool: [shows the obviously fake photo Peter sent] Am I getting catfished here or...? Any powers you wanna tell us about? Any, uh...
      Peter: [Dopinder walks into the room as he starts talking and stops to listen] Nope. I-I don't have one. I just... saw the ad. Thought it looked fun.
      Deadpool: [nods a couple of times] ... you're in.
      Dopinder: [angrily drops boxes he was holding] FUCK!
      • And these additions from the Super Duper Cut:
      Deadpool: No superpowers at all?
      Peter: Uh... I have both type 1 and 2 diabetes.
      Deadpool: Ow! Oh.
      Weasel: That's all the diabetes.
      Deadpool: Right, yeah, you got 'em all. If you find a type 3, let us know.
  • Cable kidnapping Weasel to interrogate him on Deadpool's plan. He launches into a long-winded, thought-out speech about how he'll torture Weasel for information, saying first he'll bend something that doesn't bend, second he'll—and then Weasel cuts him off saying he won't get to the second thing. He won't even have to get to the first thing since he'll tell him everything he wants to know, and even things he doesn't want to know, like how he gets an awkward erection from being afraid. He caps it off by saying that if Cable is going after Deadpool, Weasel must warn him... there is a high wind factor in effect.
    • Weasel says "I'll tell you everything, except where they are", so Cable gives him a a glare, and Weasel tells where they are.
  • Before the X-Force parachute down towards the convoy, Peter is applying sunscreen. Why?
    Peter: I don't know much about this Cable fella, but I guarantee you he hasn't killed as many people as melanoma has.
    Deadpool: Paul! Zip it!
    Peter: My name's Peter.
    Deadpool [sighs with exasperation]
    • Deadpool, when not repeatedly getting Peter's name wrong, instead refers to him as "Sugar Bear."
  • The X-Force was hyped up in the trailers, right? Well... save for Deadpool and Domino, they all die gruesomely upon landing, all by accident, on their very first mission. Bedlam gets hit by a bus, Shatterstar gets ground up into green goo by landing in the whirring blades of a helicopter, Vanisher gets electrocuted by power lines, Zeitgeist lands feet first into a wood-chipper. Only Peter lands safely, but when he tries to save Zeitgeist by pulling him out, Zeitgeist ends up vomiting acid on him, dissolving Peter's arm and killing him, then ends up pulled the rest of the way in. Deadpool is shocked because who could've anticipated the high wind factor?
    • Then Domino is the only remaining recruit, reaches the convoy in time and kicks ass for a while, whereas Deadpool lags behind on a scooter (which he steals from a distracted bystander) still bitching about Domino's powers, which are the real deal (such as her avoiding a crashing car flying over her head, proving that yes, her power is most definitely cinematic). He even shoves in a Take That! to her co-creator, "an artist who probably couldn't even draw feet!"
    • Wade having to push Peter out of the plane.
    • The Vanisher turns to actually exist once he's in the plane with only the parachute visible. And he becomes visible after falling into power cables... turns out Vanisher was Brad Pitt!
      Deadpool: Vanisher! Maybe the wind can't blow what it can't see. (Vanisher then flies into telephone wires, electrocuting himself) REALLY?!
    • While Domino is trying to keep Cable at bay Deadpool is telling her Cable's “progress:”
      Domino: Where is he? I can't see him.
      Deadpool: He's on top of you, he's going in through the back, oh god he’s inside you!
      Domino: You hear yourself, right?
      Deadpool: Accidental double entendres!
    • The fact that this is one of the few times Wade doesn't mean to imply something dirty.
  • As Deadpool fights Cable there's a hilarious callback to his X-Men Origins: Wolverine self, where he tries to deflect Cable's bullets with his swords, cutting one in two. He fails spectacularly after that though, with several bulletholes visible in his suit.
    Deadpool: Ow.
  • During the Convoy fight between Deadpool and Cable, Cable attempts to deliver a Boom, Headshot! to Wade only to wind up killing Deadpool's fellow inmate and very white guy: Black Tom Cassidy. Deadpool is not amused and a running gag is born:
    Deadpool: (pissed off) YOU KILLED BLACK TOM, YOU RACIST SON OF A BITCH!!!
  • As the truck crashes, Wade delivers a flying tea-bag to Cable's face. Better, the action pauses so he can inform us of this... and so we can see him put his arms behind his head just to rub it in.
    "I'll be first to admit this did not go according to plan. I'll also be the first to admit that that plan was written in crayon. Looks like Russell found a new friend. Jelly. Turns out Domino's a bit of a badass, and maybe, possibly mildly lucky. But Cable? Yeesh. That guy's in a mood. A mood that is about to get significantly worse."
  • When Domino lands on the inflatable panda, she hits it with the sound of a squeaky toy being squeezed.
  • The lead up to Deadpool being bisected is hilarious, with Deadpool fanboying over Juggernaut's appearance, naming all the various comic issues he has appeared in all seemingly blissfully unaware of the danger he's in. Juggernaut doesn't really care.
    Deadpool: You know, it has always been a dream of mine to see my face reflected in your helmet as you charge at me with murderous intent!
    Juggernaut runs menacingly towards him
    Deadpool: ...I don't mean right now.
    Juggernaut grabs him around the throat
    Juggernaut: I'm gonna rip you in half now.
    Deadpool: That is such a Juggernaut thing to say! [gets ripped in half]
    • While Deadpool is fawning over Juggernaut, we cut to Domino, a distance away, behind some rocks, about to lend her aid to Deadpool. Then she steps from behind the rocks, sees him, her eyes go wide and she silently mouths "No," as she turns around and sidles out of the shot. This is probably the most sensible thing anyone did in this movie.
    • Deadpool finally lampshades how much he's fanboying with this Call-Back:
      Deadpool: OH MY GOD! JUGGERNAUT! I thought that was you! I should have worn my white pants!
      • It's funnier when you find out Juggernaut is voiced by "Himself", or rather, Ryan Reynolds. So Deadpool's fanboying over himself.
    • After being bisected and ditched by Russell who joins the Juggernaut, Deadpool asks what the Juggernaut has that he doesn't.
      Deadpool: And don't you dare say legs!
      Russell: (flips him twin birds) LEGS!
      Deadpool: Gah, still hurts to hear out loud.
  • Apparently Deadpool's just got the one suit handy, as it's held together by an awful lot of duct tape after he gets ripped in half.
  • Just about everything the Juggernaut says is hilarious, as the movie makes a sociopathic monster of a man into The Comically Serious.
    Russell: So, you wear that helmet because your brother keeps trying to read your mind?
    Juggernaut: Yeah, but he's in a wheelchair, so even-steven.
  • The first movie's gag with Deadpool's hand regrowing after getting cut gets taken Up to Eleven. The Merc with a Mouth gets torn in half by Juggernaut. Then his legs regrow... and they're still baby legs when Cable comes to talk. This provides many jokes from everyone acting like he's a baby walking for the first time when he walks to Cable to the fact the only thing keeping him modest is his shirt... and not all the time. Everyone in the scene has the same reaction when they find out.
  • Weasel's incredibly blasé confession to selling Wade out to Cable.
    Weasel: He threatened to torture me, but the only thing I told him was everything he wanted to know.
  • Once Cable arrives to ask for Deadpool's help, everyone points their guns at him. Blind Al points her gun in the wrong direction and Wade corrects her.
    • Which is actually the second time that happens — when Wade first visits her earlier in the movie, he startles her and her gut reaction is to try and point a gun at him, only to aim way off.
      Blind Al: I almost shot you in—
      Deadpool: What, the wall? The fridge?
    • In the same scene, while everyone draws their pistols at Cable, Dopinder (who was unarmed) simply puts up a boxing stance.
    • Specifically, Cable says he came to proposition Wade. Wade actually takes a moment to call out how easy of a setup that is before everyone regroups to make a crack.
    • Weasel also loudly swears when Domino makes the same crack as him.
    • Also, this exchange:
      Cable: You remind me of my wife.
      Deadpool: I'm sorry.
      Cable: I said...
      Deadpool: No, I'm sorry that you said that to me while making heavy eye contact and applying lip balm.
  • Domino briefly glowering at Wade when he's wisecracking about no longer accepting applications for X-Force. Remember that all the members of the X-Force except for her were killed off due to Wade's idiocy (Or the bad writing as Wade previously lampshaded).
  • Before that as everyone freaks out when Cable goes to retrieve said lip balm from his bag:
    Cable: Relax, I'm retrieving something from my utility bag.
    Weasel: It's a goddamn fanny pack and you know it, you sick son of a bitch! The difference is night and day!
  • Deadpool asking why, if Cable has a time travel device, he didn't just go back and kill Russell as a baby, or kill baby Hitler. Cable responds that the more he uses the device, the less control he has over when it takes him, and that the device only has enough power for one last trip back home.
  • Wade decides to ask for Colossus's help by re-enacting Say Anything..., only the boombox is a smartphone case. Then when Colossus is unresponsive to his impassioned plea for help, he starts insulting him instead.
    Domino: Hey. You're doing great.
  • Deadpool takes a liking to Negasonic's girlfriend Yukio and cheerfully greets/says goodbye to her whenever she appears. She responds the same way. This happens no matter what's going on. Be it a tense battle against Juggernaut, or Wade very very very slowly dying, or right after he left the room.
    Yukio: I like this guy!
    Negasonic Teenage Warhead: Give him a chance.
    • Deadpool mentioning that Yukio looks like Pinkie Pie from My Little Pony. He then winks at the audience, most likely referencing how the two of them appear in fan works often.
  • Deadpool, Domino and Cable perform a slow-motion charge against the Juggernaut... only for Deadpool to look over and be surprised that Dopinder has snuck his way into the charge. Then the Juggernaut threatens to shove Dopinder up Cable's ass, and Dopinder decides to go wait in the cab instead.
  • The fight against Juggernaut is just pure solid awesome for the film.... but becomes hilarious once you start hearing the music. What at first sounds like Ominous Latin Chanting are actually people, in English, chanting, "Fighting dirty", "You can't stop this motherfucker!" and "Holy shitballs!"
    • The fact that the choir is singing so profanely made the Deadpool 2 score album the first to ever receive a Parental Advisory label!
  • When Deadpool jumps on Juggernaut, he tries to calm him down by using the "sun's getting real low" lullaby from Avengers: Age of Ultron. It fails miserably. But what makes it even funnier is that Deadpool lets out 'The Wilhelm Scream' when Juggernaut swings him into a fence.
  • Domino's rescue of the other Orphans/fight against the orderlies becomes one where they start being killed by bad luck, be it one guy who slips on a toy and stabs himself in the neck, the guy that stumbles and breaks his own neck on a bedpost, or the guy trapped under a bunch of metal dividers only to be decapitated by a wardrobe falling down.
    • She then remarks "I need a bus to get these kids out". Cue a bus being slammed into the building by the Juggernaut after he tried to use it as a weapon. It's then used as a makeshift slide down.
    • Special mention must be made to Domino's awkward smile and beckoning of the orphans to the bus-slide.
      Domino: Orphans?
  • When Colossus runs off to fight the Juggernaut, he gives a great one-liner:
    Colossus: Hey! Pick on someone your own size!
    Deadpool: That is such a you thing to say. (Slaps Colossus' ass, making a noise like a ringing bell) Go get 'im, tiger!
  • Colossus decides to fight dirty like Deadpool does, so he helps defeat Juggernaut by sticking a loose electrical wire in his ass before Negasonic pushes him into the pool to electrocute him.
    • Which is a reversal of Juggernaut's constant threats of shoving something up other people's asses throughout the fight sequences at the orphanage, up to and including threatening to shove Deadpool up Cable's ass.
    • Right before Negasonic and Yukio's timely arrival, has Juggernaut deliver this threat: "I'm gonna' melt you down and make a cock ring."
    • Just before the credits, a Freeze-Frame Bonus has Juggernaut crawling out of the pool. Even electric wires couldn't stop him. Just imagine the exasperation of the heroes present as they see him escape, or worse, attack them. Because no one can stop that motherfucker.
  • Deadpool's death scene in general due to it turning into an Overly Long Gag with several fake-outs before he actually dies.
  • Deadpool talking about how he almost beat the record for highest grossing R-rated movie set by The Passion of the Christ. He mentions it made more overseas, where "religion doesn't exist".
  • Even Wade and Vanessa's good-bye in the afterlife manages to sneak one in.
    Wade: Don't fuck Elvis.
    Vanessa: Don't fuck Colossus.
    • Super Duper Cut one upped this:
    Wade: Don't fuck Elvis.
    Vanessa: Oooh, too late...
    Wade: [goes bug eyed] I'm sorry? [Vanessa gives him a "just kidding" smile before the mini-oven's "ding" throws him out of his near-death experience]
  • The Power Nullifier Deadpool put on needs a pass code to deactivate it. Domino guesses "7" and Wade complains the pass code isn't just going to be one number... but since it's Domino, her guess is right.
    Deadpool: Settle down, Captain Lucky, it's not gonna be one number. [Russell presses "7"; collar deactivates immediately] God, that's lazy writing.
    Domino: [shit-eating grin] I still got it.
  • The exchange between Cable and Deadpool when the latter realizes that Cable sacrificed his last time jump to save Deadpool's life.
    Deadpool: You did it for me!
    Cable: No I didn't.
    Deadpool: Here, let's flip a coin on it. (pulls out coin that blocked the bullet) Heads, you did it for me. Tails, you did it for me. *flips coin, which falls to the side* I don't even need to see how it landed, because you did it for me.
    Deadpool: I don't know how to thank you. But I do know how to hug you.
    Cable: No.
    Deadpool: Yes. Here we go. Bring it in. C'mon. Pelvis to pelvis. Let's go tip to tip. There we go, the kids call this "docking". [metallic "shing" sound] Is that a knife in my dick or—?
    Cable: (Matter-of-fact) There's a knife in your dick, yeah.
  • Dopinder gleefully plowing into the headmaster with his cab after the latter taunts Deadpool and his friends after the final battle.
    Dopinder: I want some more.
    • And Wade remarking that it was hard to keep a straight face when he was faking the "If we kill him we're no better than him" cliche, saying he'd heard Dopinder's cab coming for about 30 seconds. The line counts when you remember he's masked (thus hard to tell his expression).
    • His new nickname for Dopinder? Brown Panther.
    • Also, this bit:
      Domino: ...and karma, motherfucker...
  • The mid-credits scenes at the end is a massive case of Self-Deprecation for Ryan Reynolds, perhaps the biggest he ever did: Deadpool uses Cable's Time Travel device to kill Weapon XI (the In Name Only Deadpool from X-Men Origins: Wolverine), and Reynolds himself, as he's all too happy to have been cast in the Green Lantern movie and was about to read the script.
    Deadpool: You're welcome, Canada.
    • Combined with Crowning Moment of Heartwarming, Deadpool doing the obvious thing when given a time travel device: going back to the beginning of the movie and undoing Vanessa's death.
      Deadpool: We're definitely naming our kid Cher!
      [Cher's "If I Could Turn Back Time" starts playing as Deadpool starts "cleaning up the timeline"]
    • Right after saving Vanessa, Deadpool goes out of his way to time travel to the X-Force's botched landing scene and save Peter by convincing him that the X-Force doesn't really exist and telling him to go home for no reason other than the fact Deadpool just liked him. Made funnier by the fact Deadpool doesn't bother saving the rest of the X-Force.
      Peter: Alright, well... This has been pretty scary... And I need to feed my cat.
      Deadpool: Go home, Sugar Bear. Go home.
      Peter: Okay! ...Will you give Domino my email?
    • The mere idea that Yukio and Negasonic Teenage Warhead fixed the Time Travel device and gave it to someone like Deadpool. They immediately regret this.
      Yukio: This was probably a bad idea.
      Negasonic Teenage Warhead: What have we done?
    • Even better, this is the only time where Yukio's cheery personality breaks, when she realizes who she gave that time travel device to. She still smiles and waves happily prior.
      Yukio: Bye, Wade!
      Deadpool: Bye, Yukio!
    • The death of Weapon XI must be elaborated upon. After Deadpool first shoots him in the head, he excuses himself to Wolverine, claiming he is "cleaning up" the timeline, mocking the X-Men Film Series's out-of-whack continuity snarls. He then shoots him again, a third time, and finally, six more times, causing the body to twitch with every shot. In regards to the twitching, don't ask why this is funny, it just is. Logan's confused non-reaction sums it up best.
      Deadpool: Hey! It's me! Don't scratch! I'm just cleaning up the timelines! Look, eventually, you're gonna hang up the claws, and that's gonna make a lot of people very sad.
      Wolverine: Huh?
      Deadpool: But one day your pal Wade is gonna ask you to get back in the saddle again. [shoots Weapon XI twice more] And when he does, say "yes".
      Wolverine: [confused as all hell, while Deadpool empties his magazine on Weapon XI] Oh. Right.
      Deadpool: [whispering] Love you. [leaves while still shooting Weapon XI's deader-than-dead corpse]
    • It gets even better if you remember the promise Wade made at the beginning of the movie. Turns out Deadpool does indeed die for good in this movie, just not the way we expected. He also manages to top Logan in technically dying before him.
  • There is no post-credits scene, for the first time, in a long time, for a Marvel movie. Admit it, you were waiting for one. That said, those who stay to the end do get to listen to the greatest thing ever written about the Juggernaut.
    • Averted with the Super Duper Cut, which continues with the additional credit scene of Deadpool's attempt at killing baby Hitler. He finds himself unable to do it, but says he'll get Cable to do it because he loves killing kids.

    "Wet on Wet" Trailer
"Sweet baby Jesus."

    "Meet Cable" Trailer
Nothing escapes Deadpool's meta-humor. Not even unfinished CGI.

    "The Trailer"
"Hello, my name is Wade Wilson. And we're going to form a super-duper fucking team."
  • The trailer starts with "All Out of Love" like the movie, only in a more adequate but equally dissonant scene: Dopinder not hearing Wade approaching.
  • Deadpool apologizing to Vanessa for being late as he was gathering up all the gluten in the world and shooting it into space.
  • The Tag Line "From the studio that brought you 27 Dresses and The Devil Wears Prada."
  • When declaring the establishment of X-Force, Deadpool crosses his arm in the same way as T'Challa from Black Panther and Wonder Woman. Even better, Gal Gadot jokingly called out Ryan Reynolds for this. His reply?
    Ryan: In Canada it's called borrowing.
  • Deadpool's Insane Troll Logic shines through:
    Deadpool: Doing the right thing is messy. But, if you wanna fight for what's right, sometimes, you have to fight dirty... and that is why Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants is pure pornography.
    Dopinder: Ahhh....
    Domino: ...God, I wish I finished college.
  • This gem of a quote.
    Deadpool: What the fucksicle is this?

    "Final Trailer"
"I just saw the ad."

  • Even the Original Soundtrack gets in on the act with Juggernaut's theme, "You Can't Stop This Mother F**ker". A brilliantly foul-mouthed spoof of Ominous Latin Chanting.
    Men's Part: You can't stop him, he's The Juggernaut. You can't stop this motherfucker!
    Women's Part: Holy! Shitballs! Holy! Shitballs...!
  • Equally hilarious was the stanza where the men were chanting "fighting dirty"...
    Men's Part: '[repeating] Fighting... Dirty!
    Women's Part:
    [repeating in background]'' What the fuck?!? What the Fuckfuckfuck
  • In a meta way, Deadpool just made Thanos his bi-atch by getting Josh Brolin to play Cable... which considering the bad blood that they had (they both love Death, so Thanos cursed Deadpool to be immortal), Deadpool may have actually used his fourth-wall-breaking power on purpose!note 
    • The very first shot of the "Meet Cable" trailer uses a color grading that makes Cable's face look blue-ish if not bordering on purple in some places.
    • And while the blue/purple color grading may be subtle, Deadpool saying "I'll do it myself!" and telling Cable he has his "stones" really assures us that subtlety has left the building.
    • Then, just in case you missed it, Deadpool straight-out calls him "Thanos" in "The Final Trailer". Not only has subtlety left the building, but it's been hit by a truck full of drug-abusing clowns and exploded.
    • Remember "Thanos demands your silence"? Cable's first picture and the poster on Deadpool 2's page have him putting his finger on his lips as if he was shushing people.
  • Peter (Rob Delaney), the random powerless human who "just saw the ad" and got recruited by Deadpool in the X-Force, has his own Twitter account and LinkedIn profile.
  • This fan poster poking fun at Avengers: Infinity War.
  • The music video for the song "Ashes" where DeadpoolNOTE  is shown dancing along with Céline Dion. While wearing heels! Dion just amps up her usual over-emoting and her straight-faced reaction to Deadpool makes it better. Moreso the exchange after the performance:
    Deadpool: Céline! That was amazing! That was the most beautiful performance I've ever seen in my life!
    Céline: Thank you so much! Thank you!
    Deadpool: No, thank you! [beat] ... We need to do it again.
    Céline: ... Okay. Why?
    Deadpool: Well... it's too good. Yeah, this is... this is Deadpool 2, not Titanic. Alright? You're at like an eleven; we need to get you down to a five, five and a half tops. Just phone it in.
    Céline: Listen, this thing [points to herself] only goes to eleven. So beat it, Spider-Man!
    Deadpool: ... God, I should've asked *NSYNC.
  • The Running Gag of the first trailer's video description has made it into actual movie theater pages, like this one, and this one from the Latin American release.
  • Deadpool apologies to David Beckham.
  • Deadpool takes over soccer club Manchester United.
  • Deadpool crashing The Late Show with Stephen Colbert and reading some of his jokes. It then ended with him discovering that not even he is inmune to Thanos's powers, not feeling well and turning to ash.
  • This video, which spoofs the Marvel Cinematic Universe ten-year celebration with their own reminiscence over the massive, expanding... two-movie Deadpool universe.
  • Brad Pitt agreed to do his one-second cameo in exchange for the absolute minimum amount of money he is legally required to ask for... and a cup of coffee. He also requested that Reynolds be the one to get him the coffee. Even better, Pitt had entirely forgotten about the latter by the time they actually filmed the scene. You have to think Ryan was trolling the budgeting department with such a pointless use of such a high-profile actor... then got counter-trolled by Brad's nonsense.
  • Once more, Deadpool crashes the Honest Trailer for the movie... and proceeds to mock Honest Trailer itself.
  • The trailer for the "Le Super Duper Cut" has Deadpool acting all super-serious... until he messes up one word at the end.
    Deadpool: [whispering] Inedible.
    Director: Inevitable.
    Deadpool: [whispering] Inedible.
    Director: [annoyed] Inevitable.
    Deadpool: Yeah, I know, but it's a-also "inedible".
    * This promo for Once Upon a Deadpool, which has Fred Savage "interrogating" Deadpool.

    Once Upon a Deadpool 
  • In order to keep things PG-13, the harder scenes are replaced with a Framing Story of Deadpool retelling the events to Fred Savage a/la The Princess Bride.
    • Fred awakes (with the clear implication that Deadpool drugged and abducted him), and is confused at to what is going on:
      Fred: [still groggy] Wait a minute... Where am I? [notices that he is wearing a Chicago Bears shirt] Who dressed me?
      Deadpool: I did! I'm a big fan of bears.
      Fred: [looks under his blanket] I'm not wearing pants.
      Deadpool: When's the last time you saw a bear wearing pants?
      Fred: Wha-what the f
      Deadpool: [sushes Fred by putting his finger to his lips] A-da-da-da-da! Easy now! Hey! The only F-bomb we're using here is [dramatic hand gensture] Fred Savage. Now, I want you to take a deep breath. Listen to me very carefully: You're in a PG-13 version of Deadpool 2, which means [holds up a device and taps its button] we only get two sh[beep]s, one f[beep], and a glass of white wine.
      Fred: ...Are you bleeping yourself?
      Deadpool: [taps the button again] You bet your [beep] voicing little [beep], I am.
      Fred: It seems weird that you would do that yourself, and—
      [Deadpool keeps the button pressed down for five seconds, beeping out all of Fred's dialogue]
      Fred: Please stop that!
      Deadpool: ...Sorry.
      Fred: [looks around] Did you... reconstruct the bedroom set from The Princess Bride?
      Deadpool: INCONCEIVABLE!
      Fred: [exasperated] Oh, god...
      Deadpool: [apologetic] Yeah... I've always wanted to say that.
    • And the kicker is that Fred is being forced into it — as his legs are duct-taped to the bed.
      Deadpool: And you need me, almost as much as I need you.
      Fred: I don't need you!
      Deadpool: You need me to untie you [removing the covers to reveal his legs are taped to the bed] after we're done.
  • When Deadpool begins the story, the first thing we see is Deadpool bloodlessly beating up a bunch of goons with sharp weapons, including a chainsaw. In a way, the violence seems comical here as it looks as if they were being beaten up with Nerf weapons.
  • Deadpool walks up to a random elderly couple and tells them he liked their work in Up. The couple gets confused, then Deadpool tells the husband not to get attachednote .
  • This exchange at the end of the trailer.
    Fred: Kinda prefer Marvel movies.
    Deadpool: We are Marvel.
    Fred: Yeah, but you're, you know, Marvel licensed by Fox. It's like if The Beatles were produced by Nickelback. It's music, but it sucks.
    • This becomes especially funny when one takes into account that Disney and Fox are currently in the process of a merger.
    • Another trailer expands upon this scene: Deadpool takes particular offense at Fred Savage's jab against Nickelback and goes on a rant about how the group is actually good. The kicker... turns out Fred is just as aware of the fourth wall as Deadpool!
      Fred: I thought we were just having fun, I didn't realize
      Deadpool: Ya know... I gotta say, you were much nicer as a kid.
    • Then Fred starts with the lyrics of "How You Remind Me", and he and Deadpool end up rocking out together to Nickelback.
  • The Overly Long Gag of Wade using his censor buzzer to make it sound like Fred's desire to fight Matt Damon is actually him wanting to fuck him, which is helped significantly by Fred's dialogue becoming increasingly suggestive over the course of the scene. And once Fred puts together what Wade is doing, he caps it off by asking if Matt had been asking about him.

Alternative Title(s): The Untitled Deadpool Sequel


Example of: